| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:00] | Kids, there’s nothing more wonderful | 孩子们 世上没有比 |
| [00:02] | than New York City in the winter… | 冬天中的纽约更美好的景观了 |
| [00:04] | except the view of New York City in the winter | 除了透过你公寓的窗子 |
| [00:06] | through your apartment window. | 看到的冬天中的纽约的景致 |
| [00:08] | In the winter of 2006, Marshall, Lily, Robin and I | 2006年的冬天 马修 莉莉 罗宾和我 |
| [00:11] | were all deep in couple hibernation mode. | 我们一直处在恋人冬眠状态 |
| [00:13] | Sadly, this left Uncle Barney out in the cold. | 无奈只剩下巴尼叔叔孤零零一人 |
| [00:16] | Okay. All-night rave, | 听好了 通宵狂欢 |
| [00:18] | abandoned tire factory in Newark. | 在纽瓦克一家废弃的轮胎厂 (Newark:纽瓦克,美国俄亥俄州中部的城市) |
| [00:20] | We’re on the list. Who’s in? | 我们都被邀请了 谁想去? |
| [00:22] | – Nope. – No. | – 不去 – 不去 |
| [00:26] | Private jet. Teeterboro Airport, skinny-skydiving. Who’s in? | 私人飞机 蒂特伯诺机场 空中跳伞 谁去? |
| [00:30] | – Nope. – No, thanks. | – 不去 – 不去 谢谢 |
| [00:33] | One beer. Bar, downstairs, 15 second walk. Who’s in? | 楼下喝杯啤酒 走15秒就到 谁去? |
| [00:38] | Shh… Lily went sleepy-bye. | 小点声… 莉莉睡觉觉了 拜! |
| [00:43] | It got so bad, Barney tried to be his own wingman. | 没有人愿意陪巴尼玩 他只能自己做自己的托 |
| [00:46] | Hi. Have you met me? | 你想不想认识我? |
| [00:51] | Finally, he decided to bring in reinforcements. | 最后 他带来了援军 |
| [00:53] | – No. – No. | – 不去 – 不去 |
| [00:55] | Yes. And do you know why? | 我保准你们想去 知道问什么吗? |
| [00:58] | Hang on to your bedsores, grandparents from Willy Wonka, | 抓抓你们的褥疮 爷爷奶奶们 |
| [01:01] | because guess who’s on his way up to this apartment right now? | 猜猜现在谁要到这里来 |
| [01:04] | My… wait for it… | 我的… 等等… |
| [01:07] | brother, James. React. | 兄弟…詹姆士 你们什么反应? |
| [01:10] | – Hey! – Hey! | – 咳! – 咳! |
| [01:11] | – You have a brother? – Yeah. | – 你有兄弟? – 当然! |
| [01:13] | He’s the “awesome-est,” most best “looking-est,” greatest guy ever. | 他人棒极了 长相也酷毙了 |
| [01:17] | He’s exactly like Barney. | 他和巴尼一个样 |
| [01:19] | That’s what I just said. | 没错 |
| [01:21] | Well, Barney and his brother aren’t exactly alike. | 巴尼和他的兄弟不是完全一样的 |
| [01:24] | James is gay. | 詹姆士是个同性恋 |
| [01:25] | Really? I never in a million years | 真的? 打死我也不会想猜出 |
| [01:27] | would I picture you with a gay brother, that’s awesome. | 你会有个同性恋兄弟?太好了! |
| [01:30] | Yeah. I just wanted you to have a heads up, | 我就是想提醒你一下 |
| [01:31] | so you don’t act all surprised when he gets here. | 见到他的时候 你就不会过度惊讶 |
| [01:34] | Here he is. | 他来了 |
| [01:38] | What up, New York. | 纽约的兄弟们 你们好吗? |
| [01:42] | Thanks for the heads up. | 谢谢你的提醒 |
| [01:58] | How in God’s name did it never come up that Barney has a gay, black brother? | 为什么从来没有人告诉 过我巴尼有一个黑人同性恋兄弟? |
| [02:02] | Is he black? | 他是黑人? |
| [02:04] | I guess I’m the kind of person that focuses on who people are on the inside | 我想我这人只注重人的内在美 |
| [02:07] | rather than the color of their skin. | 而不是他们皮肤的颜色 |
| [02:09] | I’m kidding, I just wanted to see your face. | 跟你开玩笑的 我只想让你吃惊一下 |
| [02:12] | Yeah, so now the wedding’s back on. | 嗯对 我们又决定结婚了 |
| [02:14] | Anyway, James, how have you been? | 不说这个了 詹姆士 你过得怎么样? |
| [02:16] | Awesome, as per “yoozh.” | 好极了! |
| [02:17] | I just went skinny-skydiving. Legendary. | 我刚玩完裸体跳伞 传奇一般! |
| [02:20] | And my laser tag team, just made it to regional finals. | 我的激光游戏组刚打入地区决赛 (laser tag：一种激光枪游戏 ) |
| [02:23] | “Legendarier.” | 比传奇更加传奇! |
| [02:25] | And by now you’ve noticed the suit– | 现在你们一定注意到我的西服了 |
| [02:27] | go ‘head, touch it. | 来来 摸摸 |
| [02:28] | Handcrafted by Pietro Dellacamera, | 皮尔特洛·德拉卡拉 亲手制造 |
| [02:31] | Milan’s famous 101-year-old tailor | 他是米兰著名的101岁的裁缝 |
| [02:35] | who upon completing the very last stitch | 在缝完这件西服的最后一针之后 |
| [02:37] | in this suit dropped dead, | 就死掉了 |
| [02:39] | which is ironic because that is how gorgeous I look in it. | 太讽刺了 因为我穿着 这件西服的帅样也会让他死掉 |
| [02:42] | C’mon. | 来 |
| [02:48] | Gimme five. | 支持一下 |
| [02:49] | Is “gimme five” back? | 支持一下 又流行了? |
| [02:51] | Oh, yeah. I put it in my blog this morning. | 我今天早晨在我博客里宣布的 |
| [02:53] | Guys, “gimme five” is back! | 伙计们 “gimme five” 又流行了! |
| [02:56] | Oh, James, this is my girlfriend, Robin. | 詹姆士 这是我的女朋友罗宾 |
| [02:58] | – Hey. It’s so nice to meet you. – You, too. | – 真荣幸认识你 – 我也是 |
| [03:00] | So, I have to ask, there’s a story here. | 我要问一下 你们俩人的 肤色为什么不一样? |
| [03:04] | Please. | 拜托 |
| [03:05] | The truth is, Barney and James got a lot of… | 这些年来巴尼和詹姆士 从他们的妈妈那里 |
| [03:08] | different explanations from their mom over the years. | 得到了许多不同的解释 |
| [03:10] | Well, boys, you look different | 孩子 你们看起来有区别 |
| [03:13] | because when I was pregnant with you, | 是因为在我怀你的时候 |
| [03:15] | I only ate vanilla ice cream. | 我只吃香草冰激凌 |
| [03:17] | And when I was pregnant with you, | 当我怀你的时候 |
| [03:19] | can you guess what kind of ice cream I ate? | 你能猜出我吃的是什么冰激凌? |
| [03:21] | – Coffee? – No, James, | – 咖啡的? – 不是的 詹姆士 |
| [03:23] | I ate chocolate ice cream. | 我吃的是巧克力冰淇凌 |
| [03:25] | But I did drink tons of coffee when I was pregnant with both of you. | 但是我在怀你们俩的时候 确实喝了很多咖啡 |
| [03:29] | Can’t smoke without my coffee. | 没有咖啡怎么能抽烟 |
| [03:32] | I don’t know, boys, I guess it’s just one of those things. | 我不知道 这就是 那种让人搞不清的事 |
| [03:37] | Stop asking me! | 别再问我了! |
| [03:38] | You know what you two are? You’re little racists! | 你们知道你们是什么吗? 你们是两个小种族歧视者! |
| [03:41] | So what are you guys gonna do tonight? | 你们两个今晚想做点什么? |
| [03:43] | I’ll tell you what James is gonna do. | 我告诉你詹姆士今晚要做什么 |
| [03:45] | He’s gonna do the job you’ve been neglecting. | 他要做被你忽视的事情 |
| [03:47] | And, as always, he’ll do it a lot better than you ever did. | 就和往常一样 他会做得比你更好 |
| [03:51] | Ted… | 泰德… |
| [03:52] | James is my wingman now. | 詹姆斯现在是我的托 |
| [03:56] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [03:58] | Last time James was in town, Barney got slapped once, | 上次詹姆士来的时候 巴尼被抽了一次巴掌 |
| [04:01] | lucky twice, and… | 和别人上了两次床…… |
| [04:03] | whose penthouse hot tub did you end up in? | 你最后睡在了谁的浴缸里? |
| [04:05] | Ah, public figure, confidentiality agreement. | 公众人物 我们要为他保密 |
| [04:07] | But I will say this: | 但我可以说另一个秘密 |
| [04:09] | way more back hair than any guy | 他的背毛比任何 |
| [04:10] | who can afford laser hair removal should have. | 可以支付激光除毛的人都多 |
| [04:13] | And then there was the time they scored the brother/sister combo. | 还有一次他们和一对兄妹上了床 |
| [04:18] | It was everything we ever dreamed of | 这是我们自从看唐尼和玛丽节目以来 |
| [04:19] | when watching Donnie and Marie. | 一直拥有的梦想 |
| [04:21] | She was a little bit country. | 她有点乡村气息 （这是唐尼和玛丽节目歌曲的歌词） |
| [04:23] | He was a little bit way into black guys. | 他有点对黑人男人情有独钟 |
| [04:26] | Yeah, Barney and James together was a lethal combination. | 巴尼和詹姆士在一起 组成了致命联合 |
| [04:29] | Since there was never any crossover in targets, | 因为两人的目标不同 |
| [04:32] | James was always there for Barney with the assist. | 所以詹姆士总是帮助巴尼 |
| [04:39] | Whoa. Your scarf… | 哇 你的围巾… |
| [04:41] | it is fierce! | 太有震撼力了! |
| [04:43] | Thanks. H & M. | 谢谢 H&M牌的 (瑞典顶级品牌H&M) |
| [04:45] | What? I would never know, | 真的? 我可没看出来 |
| [04:46] | ’cause it is so hot that my eyes are melting. Oh, I can’t see. | 因为它太热辣了 我的眼睛都要熔化了 我看不见了 |
| [04:51] | Hey! You know, speaking of things | 说到这里 你知道什么东西 |
| [04:53] | that would look good wrapped around you, | 围着你会让你看起来更加美丽? |
| [04:55] | have you met my straight brother, Barney? | 你认识我不是 同性恋的兄弟巴尼? |
| [04:57] | Oh, he is fab– don’t you go nowhere– “ulous.” Okay? | 他可是很出… 等一下…色的 哦! |
| [05:02] | And Barney always returned the favor. | 巴尼总是还詹姆士这个人情 |
| [05:04] | Help, I don’t think he’s breathing. | 救命啊 他停止呼吸了 |
| [05:06] | Does anyone know mouth-to-mouth? | 有人会人工呼吸吗? |
| [05:08] | Oh, my God, I do! | 哦 天啊!我会! |
| [05:10] | Okay, great. How ’bout you instead? | 呃 好 换你来怎么样? |
| [05:13] | Oh, man, I am so excited that you’re here! | 你能来我真是太高兴了! |
| [05:16] | It has been forever since I have been around anyone | 我已经很久没有和 |
| [05:18] | even remotely fun. | 任何玩得开的人一起玩了 |
| [05:19] | Uh, yes offense. | 我这么说是想伤你们的感情 |
| [05:22] | You guys are still going out with us tonight, right? | 今晚你们和我俩一起出去玩 是不? |
| [05:24] | – No. – Jammies. | – 不去 – 詹姆士 |
| [05:26] | Tonight? It’s after 9:00 and… | 今晚? 已经九点多了… |
| [05:28] | I have warm soup belly. | 而且我刚喝完热呼呼的汤 |
| [05:30] | Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Guys… | 不…不…伙计们… |
| [05:33] | you are young, attractive people here | 你们都是年轻有魅力的人 |
| [05:36] | in the greatest city on earth. | 在地球上这个最伟大的城市 |
| [05:38] | There are boys and girls | 而在那个没人 爱搭理的怀俄明州里的 |
| [05:40] | in Nobody Cares, Wyoming, wishing they could be here. | 男男女女做梦都想到这个城市 |
| [05:43] | But instead, they are in someone’s basement drinking bad malt liquor, | 但是他们只能在租来的 地下室里喝烂酒 |
| [05:46] | debating whether or not they’re going to spend their Saturday night | 考虑这个周六晚上是 |
| [05:49] | in the parking lot of the feed store | 在商店的停车厂 |
| [05:50] | or in some other dude’s basement. | 还是在某个家伙的地下室里度过 |
| [05:52] | You owe it to them to rise up | 就冲这个 你们应该站起来 |
| [05:55] | and shimmy your lazy asses into something hot, | 扭着你们的懒屁股 穿上火辣的衣服 |
| [05:57] | and you go out there and you live their dream! | 然后出去实现他们的梦想! |
| [06:01] | – Can I get a “hell, yeah”? – Hell, yeah! | – 跟我说”嘿 耶!” – 嘿 耶! |
| [06:02] | – Can I get a “hell, yeah”? – Hell, yeah! | – 跟我说”嘿 耶!” – 嘿 耶! |
| [06:05] | – Can I get a “woo-woo”? – Woo-woo! | – 跟我说”喔-喔!” – 喔-喔! |
| [06:07] | Go do it for Wyoming! Yes! | 我们为了怀俄明州 而狂欢吧! 走吧! |
| [06:10] | Testify! | 上帝在此见证! |
| [06:12] | So that night, Barney got his wish. | 那晚 巴尼的愿望实现了 |
| [06:15] | We all went out. | 我们都出门狂欢了 |
| [06:16] | Daddy’s home! | 老爸我回来了! |
| [06:18] | Yeah. | 噎! |
| [06:21] | All right, bro. What do you like? | 怎么样 兄弟 你看上哪位了? |
| [06:23] | Guy in super tight black T? | 那个穿着超级紧身黑色T恤的人如何? |
| [06:26] | Super tight black guy? | 肌肉黑男? |
| [06:27] | Guy who looks like Mr. T? | 长的和T先生一样的家伙? |
| [06:29] | Mmm, yes, yes, and… talk to me after two martinis. | 第一位可以 第二位可以 第三位嘛… 喝完两杯马提尼后再问我 |
| [06:32] | Let’s focus on you, my man. | 咱们再帮你看看 我的兄弟 |
| [06:35] | I’m feeling lazy. | 我今天有点懒 |
| [06:36] | How ’bout girl with the chocolatini? | 那个在喝巧克力鸡尾酒的女孩怎么样? |
| [06:38] | Oh… boom, back tattoo. | 背后有纹身 |
| [06:41] | Hero and the pig? | 用英雄救美方案? |
| [06:43] | – Let’s ride. – Fo’ ‘sho. | – 咱们上 – 开演 |
| [06:47] | Damn baby, nice tramp stamp! | 哎呀 宝贝 好漂亮的风骚章! |
| [06:50] | – Get off me, you pig! – Hey! Hey! | – 滚开 你这个死流氓! – 喂! 喂! |
| [06:52] | Her body art is not an invitation to grope her, | 她的纹身不是用来邀请别人来摸她的 |
| [06:54] | it’s an expression of her inner self. | 而是来表达她的内涵的 |
| [06:56] | I’m sure, in many ways, she is the dolphin encircled by flowers. | 我相信她的内心世界 确实就像一个花丛中的海豚 (纹身图案) |
| [07:00] | – What? What? – What? What? | – 干什么? 干什么? – 怎么? 怎么? |
| [07:01] | Cool. | 算了 |
| [07:05] | Let me know if he bothers you again. | 下次他再烦你 你就告诉我 |
| [07:07] | Thanks. You should stay close… just in case. | 谢谢 你应该留下…以防万一 |
| [07:11] | Sure. If it’ll make you feel safer. | 如果能让你觉得更放心的话 |
| [07:14] | I’m Barney. | 我叫巴尼 |
| [07:15] | Now, kids, when you’re out at a noisy, crowded bar, | 孩子们 在一个嘈杂拥挤的酒吧里 |
| [07:18] | you can always tell the difference between the singles | 很容易就能分辨出单身一族 |
| [07:21] | and the couples. | 和情侣之间的区别 |
| [07:23] | You just have to look for the signs. | 只要找到几个特征就行了 |
| [07:26] | – Break. – Boiling hot. | – 分别行动! – 火辣的目标 |
| [07:27] | Singles stay on their feet for maneuverability. | 单身一族总是站着 为的是行动方便点 |
| [07:29] | – Hey! – Hi, how are ya? | – 嘿 – 嗨 你好吗? |
| [07:31] | Have you met my brother? | 你认识我兄弟? |
| [07:34] | Oh, hello. Have a drink. | 你好 来喝一杯 |
| [07:37] | Nice to meet ya. | 很高兴认识你 |
| [07:41] | Couples, exhausted by the sheer act of leaving the house, | 而情侣呢 光是走出家门 就已经让他们精疲力尽了 |
| [07:44] | are obsessed with finding a place to sit down. | 一到酒吧就 一个劲儿地找位子坐 |
| [07:47] | There are a lot of other indicators, too. | 还有许多其他的特征 |
| [07:49] | From choice of social lubricant… | 比如说 酒精的选择 |
| [07:53] | …to basic body language. | 还有基本的身体语言 |
| [07:56] | But the point is, there are many ways to tell | 总言而知 有很多方法可以来判断 |
| [07:58] | whether someone has Single Stamina | 一个人属于精神抖擞的单身一族 |
| [08:00] | or Couples Coma. | 还是昏迷不醒的情侣一派 |
| [08:02] | I wish I would’ve worn sneakers. | 我因该穿运动鞋来 |
| [08:03] | I just got finished running from some fat, hairy guy | 我刚从一个 又胖毛又多的家伙那逃出来 |
| [08:06] | who was periscoping out of his pleather pants. | 他的小弟弟想从他的皮裤子里 钻出来和我打招呼 |
| [08:09] | Permission to come aboard denied. | 门儿都没有! |
| [08:11] | I miss my jammies. | 我想念我的睡衣 |
| [08:13] | I can’t believe I wore a bra for this. | 我不相信我竟然穿上了胸罩 |
| [08:15] | Bras suck. They’re so confining and unnatural. | 胸罩烦死人了 裹得紧紧的 太不自然了 |
| [08:18] | Yeah, they’re like a boobie zoo. | 里面挤得就像一个动物园 |
| [08:21] | Well, why don’t you take it off then and let those puppies breathe? | 那你就把胸罩脱掉吧 让里面的小崽崽轻松一下 |
| [08:23] | Oh, please go sweat on someone else. | 别费力气了 你还是把口水 流在别的女人身上吧! |
| [08:26] | Poor guy. | 可怜的家伙 |
| [08:28] | Poor guy? Poor my boobs. | 可怜的家伙?我的乳房更可怜 |
| [08:30] | Well, it takes a lot of guts to approach a girl | 一个男人要鼓足很大的勇气 去接近一个女孩子 |
| [08:32] | and you just crushed him. | 而你却中伤了他 |
| [08:33] | Oh, yeah, yeah. He looks all broken up inside. | 是的 是的 他看起来很受打击 |
| [08:37] | Whatever, you guys have no idea what it’s like | 你们男人永远无法体会一个女孩 |
| [08:38] | to be on the receiving end. | 被别人死缠烂打地 追着的感觉是什么样 |
| [08:40] | “Oh, poor me. I’m a pretty girl | 我好可怜 我是个漂亮的女孩 |
| [08:44] | and everybody everywhere wants to buy me drinks | 大家都想给我买酒 |
| [08:45] | and have sex with me.” | 然后和我上床 |
| [08:47] | Waa. | 哇 |
| [08:48] | “Oh, poor me. I get to order yummy, pink drinks | 我好可怜 我可以喝 粉红色的 美味的 |
| [08:51] | with chunks of real fruit that guys secretly like, | 上面带大块果粒的 |
| [08:53] | but can’t order because they’ll be made fun of.” | 男生都暗地想喝却又怕 被嘲笑而不敢喝的鸡尾酒 |
| [08:55] | – Dude. – They’re delicious! | – 老兄 – 好喝极了 |
| [08:57] | Excuse me. Join me in a shot? | 打扰以下 和我来喝一杯? |
| [09:00] | Oh, no thanks. I’ve had enough. | 不了 我已经喝的够多的了 |
| [09:05] | He’s too in shape, | 他太注重身材了 |
| [09:07] | we’d spend all night talking about his body fat content. | 跟他约会的话 一晚上都会谈论身体脂肪含量的 |
| [09:10] | Now, if you’ll excuse me, | 失陪片刻 |
| [09:12] | I’m gonna go have a yummy, pink drink with fruit in it… | 我要去喝一杯 美味的上面带大块果粒的饮料… |
| [09:15] | because I can. | 因为我是同性恋 所以没有人会笑话我 |
| [09:19] | You know, that was, like, the third hot guy | 你们知道吗 这是詹姆斯今天晚上 |
| [09:21] | that James blew off tonight. | 拒绝的第三个帅哥 |
| [09:22] | Yeah, he’s turning down shots, he’s yawning, | 对啊 他不喝别人喝酒 还打呵欠 |
| [09:25] | he’s whining about his feet. | 还抱怨脚疼 |
| [09:27] | He’s as bad as we are. | 他和我们一样糟糕 |
| [09:28] | He is. | 是这么回事 |
| [09:30] | Wait, he’s exactly as bad as we are. You guys don’t think that James is… | 等等 他和我们一模一样 你们觉得詹姆士… |
| [09:33] | in a relationship? | 是不是有了男朋友? |
| [09:35] | No. There’s no way. He’s Barney’s brother. | 不 这不可能 他跟巴尼一样花心 |
| [09:37] | Look at that. | 快看 |
| [09:39] | He’s texting! | 他在发短信! |
| [09:42] | Oh, my God! | 我的天啊! |
| [09:44] | He is in a couple. | 他在热恋中 |
| [09:46] | This is gonna kill Barney. | 这会让巴尼疯掉的 |
| [09:48] | What’s gonna kill me? | 什么事会让我疯掉? |
| [09:49] | What’s going on? | 到底怎么了? |
| [09:51] | B-Barney? | 巴…巴尼? |
| [09:54] | Have you noticed anything… different about James? | 你有没有注意到… 詹姆士有些不同寻常? |
| [09:57] | No. | 没有 |
| [09:58] | I mean, he’s glowing from his peel, if that’s what you mean. | 他刚做过美容 所以容光焕发 |
| [10:03] | We have reason to believe that James is, uh, | 我们有理由相信詹姆士正在… |
| [10:06] | maybe hiding something from you. | 向你隐瞒着一些东西 |
| [10:07] | I-I know you’re not gonna like hearing this, but… | 我知道你也许不喜欢听这些 但是… |
| [10:10] | Barney… | 巴尼… |
| [10:11] | your brother is… | 你的兄弟现在… |
| [10:14] | monogamous. | 变得专一了 |
| [10:17] | That’s ridiculous! | 这太荒谬了! |
| [10:19] | Just because he’s a little sleepy, | 就算他今天有点死气沉沉的 |
| [10:22] | and he hasn’t had sex with anyone in a bathroom stall… | 没有和别人在厕所的小隔间里做爱! |
| [10:27] | He hasn’t had sex with anyone in a bathroom stall. | 他没有和别人在厕所的小隔间里做爱? |
| [10:31] | And, Barney… | 巴尼… |
| [10:33] | I hate to be the one to tell you this, but… | 我并不想告诉你这个 但是… |
| [10:37] | he’s texting. | 他在发短信 |
| [10:38] | No, he… No! | 不…他…不! |
| [10:42] | That… is impossible. | 这… 不可能 |
| [10:48] | Excuse… Excuse… Ex… | 借过… 借过… 借过… |
| [10:52] | Hey, bro. | 嗨 兄弟 |
| [10:53] | Don’t change the subject. | 不要转移话题 |
| [10:55] | Let me see your phone. | 让我看看你的手机 |
| [10:56] | Why? | 为什么? |
| [10:57] | I just want to see your phone. Let me see your phone. | 我就是想看看 你的手机 让我看看 |
| [10:59] | No, it’s just a phone. It’s just a phone! | 这只不过是部手机 有什么好看的? |
| [11:01] | And it’s got Internet access, and it’s got a camera on it, | 它有网络功能 还可以照像 |
| [11:03] | and you can surf the Web and do the whole thing. | 你可以用它上网 干什么都行 |
| [11:05] | It’s so amazing how far technology has come. | 现在的高科技真是太惊人了 |
| [11:08] | What kind of phone do you have? | 你的手机有什么功能? |
| [11:09] | I got… | 我有… |
| [11:15] | Who is this? | 这是谁? |
| [11:16] | And the answer better be: “I don’t remember his name.” | 你的回答最好是 “我不记得这个人的名字” |
| [11:21] | That is Tom. | 这是汤姆 |
| [11:24] | And he’s my fianc? | 他是我的未婚夫 |
| [11:31] | Hey. | 嗨! |
| [11:34] | I don’t support this. | 我不支持 |
| [11:36] | Gay marriage? | 你不支持同性恋结婚? |
| [11:37] | Not gay marriage– marriage! | 不光是同性恋结婚 我不支持结婚! |
| [11:40] | How can you do this? | 你怎么能这样做呢? |
| [11:42] | We were raised in the same house, with the same values! | 我们是在同一个家庭里长大的 我们被灌输了同样的价值观 |
| [11:45] | Believe me, I fought this for a long time. | 相信我 我也挣扎了很久 |
| [11:49] | Come on, it’s embarrassing. | 这种事情羞死人了 |
| [11:51] | Look, this felt unnatural to me, too, at first. | 开始的时候 这种事情对于我来说也很奇怪 |
| [11:54] | But I fell in love. | 但是我坠入了爱河 |
| [11:56] | And Tom and I realized you can’t fight love. | 我和汤姆意识到 我们不能和爱情作对 |
| [11:59] | Oh, God. | 我的天啊 |
| [12:00] | Is that what you two do together? You sit around the house | 你们俩就在一起做这个吗? 你们坐在家里 |
| [12:03] | and talk about love? I think… I’m gonna be sick. | 谈情说爱? 我想… 我马上就要呕出来了 |
| [12:07] | Okay, okay, look, | 好吧 好吧 听着 |
| [12:08] | I need you to wrap your head around this, okay? | 你要好好地考虑一下 好吗? |
| [12:10] | Because it is happening. | 因为这件事已成定局 |
| [12:12] | And I want you to be my best man. | 并且我希望你做我的伴郎 |
| [12:15] | What? No way. | 什么? 没门 |
| [12:22] | Well, I’m sorry you feel that way. | 我很遗憾你是这么想的 |
| [12:29] | I hope you change your mind. | 我希望你能改变主意 |
| [12:37] | Two beers, one shot. | 两瓶啤酒 一杯shot (一种混合烈酒) |
| [12:38] | Oh, it’s a freaking epidemic. | 简直就跟传染病一样 |
| [12:44] | Oh, sweetie! Did you make that for me? | 亲爱的!这个是给我作的? |
| [12:49] | Yes. | 是的 |
| [12:52] | Clam Bake. Staten Island. Who’s in? | 龙虾大餐 史坦顿岛 谁去? |
| [12:56] | Okay, I didn’t have high hopes for that one. | 算了 已经猜到你们不会去 |
| [12:59] | Okay, here’s my thing. | 好吧 这是我的问题 |
| [13:01] | If gay guys start getting married, | 如果同性恋开始结婚 |
| [13:02] | then suddenly the whole world’s gonna be doing it. | 那全世界的人都会想结婚 |
| [13:04] | That’s how it works. They start something, | 这就是他们的影响 他们起头 |
| [13:06] | then six months later, everyone follows. | 然后6个月以后人们都跟着做 |
| [13:09] | Like now everyone gets manicures. | 就像现在每个人都开始护理指甲 |
| [13:11] | I don’t get manicures. | 我不护理指甲 |
| [13:13] | Okay, then like how… Like getting your chest waxed. | 好吧 比如说… 比如说…去胸毛 |
| [13:16] | You get your chest waxed? | 你去胸毛? |
| [13:18] | You know what I mean! | 我只是打个比方! |
| [13:20] | Gay marriage is going to cause single life, | 同性恋婚姻会让单身 |
| [13:22] | as we know it, to die out. | 这种生活方式灭亡的 |
| [13:24] | Think of how the American family will be strengthened. | 而美国家庭关系会因此而牢固不少 |
| [13:28] | Barney, I’m sorry you’re upset, but you got to suck it up | 我知道你很生气 但是你应该接受事实 |
| [13:30] | and be a man about this. | 要像一个男人一样来对待这个事情 |
| [13:31] | No. | 不 |
| [13:32] | It’s always been me and him together, being awesome, | 一直都是我和他一起疯狂玩乐 |
| [13:36] | while the rest of you walked two-by-two | 当你们成双结对 |
| [13:39] | onto your ark of sexless boredom. | 走入没有性生活的无聊二人世界 |
| [13:41] | Just because James is getting married | 即使詹姆士要结婚了 |
| [13:43] | doesn’t mean things are going to change. | 这并不意味着将有什么变化 |
| [13:45] | Yeah. Like things haven’t changed with you people. | 好像你们从未发生过变化 |
| [13:49] | Look, my sister married a guy I didn’t like. | 我妹妹和一个 我不喜欢的家伙结婚了 |
| [13:52] | Sandals and socks– come on, buddy. | 凉鞋配短袜 有没有搞错? |
| [13:54] | But I took her out, we celebrated. | 但是我还是 带她出去为她庆祝 |
| [13:56] | It was the right thing to do. | 应为那是我应该做的事情 |
| [13:58] | You got to support him. | 你应该支持詹姆斯 |
| [14:01] | You’re right, Ted. | 你说的对 泰德 |
| [14:03] | This is a cause for celebration. | 这正好是庆祝的理由 |
| [14:06] | We need to take him out and celebrate the commitment | 我们应该带他出去好好地庆祝一下 |
| [14:09] | he and Tom are about to make. | 他和汤姆即将走进婚姻的殿堂 |
| [14:14] | Yeah. This is where we’re celebrating | 啊…这就是 |
| [14:16] | the commitment that Tom and I are about to make? | 庆祝我和汤姆走进婚姻殿堂的地方? |
| [14:19] | What? Yeah! | 什么?对呀! |
| [14:20] | See, that cage represents your commitment. | 那个笼子象征着婚姻 |
| [14:29] | Oh, my God. Freedom has never tasted so delicious. | 我的天啊 自由的味道从来没有这么甜美过 |
| [14:34] | Hey. You work out? | 你经常健身? |
| [14:36] | I do. | 是的 |
| [14:37] | And thank you for noticing. | 你竟然注意到了! |
| [14:39] | You’re obviously in very good shape yourself. | 你的体格也很健壮 |
| [14:41] | Well, I try. | 是的 我一直在努力健身 |
| [14:43] | So you want to dance? | 那么你想跳支舞吗? |
| [14:45] | You know what? I’m very flattered, and, objectively, | 你知道吗? 你邀请我 我很开心 |
| [14:47] | you’re a very attractive man, | 你很有吸引力 但是这是我的未婚妻 but this is actually my fianc閑. |
| [14:50] | I’m sorry. You know, I saw your drink and I… | 对不起 其实我是 看见你在喝这种饮料所以我… |
| [14:53] | No, no, this isn’t my drink. This is hers. | 不 不 这个饮料不是我的 是她的… |
| [14:56] | No, it isn’t. | 不 这才是我的 |
| [14:58] | Whatever. | 随便怎么样吧 |
| [14:59] | How ’bout you? | 你呢? |
| [15:01] | Oh, I’m straight, too. | 我也是个异性恋者 |
| [15:02] | But I thank you for your time, | 但是谢谢你在 我身上浪费的时间 |
| [15:04] | and I appreciate your interest in my body. | 谢谢你对我的身体感兴趣 |
| [15:09] | You see that? | 你们看到了没? |
| [15:10] | Being hit on doesn’t have to be terrible. | 有人搭讪并不像你们说的那么糟糕 |
| [15:13] | I feel flattered, and everyone left with their dignity. | 而且对方离开的时候 都没有受到伤害 |
| [15:18] | Hey, I really like your sweater. | 我很喜欢你的毛衣 |
| [15:20] | Wow. You actually do, don’t you? | 你真的喜欢? |
| [15:23] | You’re not checking out my boobs or anything. | 你不是想看 我的胸部或别的什么 |
| [15:25] | My name’s Gay Ken, what do you think? | 我的名字叫Gay·肯 你觉得呢? |
| [15:28] | I love this place! Let’s dance! | 我爱这个地方! 我们一起来跳舞! |
| [15:30] | – And not be groped! – Whoo! Thank you. | – 而且不会被骚扰! – 谢谢 |
| [15:35] | – Damn. – Thank you! | – 好热辣! – 谢谢你! |
| [15:39] | – We’re hot. – Totally. | – 我们太抢手了 – 毫无疑问! |
| [15:42] | And then Tom says to the dealer | 然后汤姆对那个商人说 |
| [15:44] | that the handmade Georgian clock has a chip on the corner. | 这个乔治亚手制时钟表有些小瑕疵 |
| [15:48] | Blam, we get that puppy half price. What up?! | 就这样我们 以半价买了下来 你猜怎么?! |
| [15:51] | Bam! Sounds like you really rocked | 其实我们骗他的! |
| [15:53] | that arts and crafts fair. Oh, yeah, oh, yeah. | 看来你们在手工艺展览会上淘到宝了 |
| [15:58] | Hey, oh, my God. This is so liberating, | 能和你讲这些事情 |
| [16:01] | being able to talk about this to you. | 我心里感觉舒坦了许多 |
| [16:03] | I cannot wait for you to meet Tom. | 我真是迫不及待地想 介绍汤姆给你认识 |
| [16:05] | And I cannot wait for you to meet my good friend… | 我也迫不及待地 想介绍我的朋友… |
| [16:08] | this guy. | 就是他 |
| [16:09] | Excuse me, do you know anyone who would like to buy | 打扰一下 你知道谁愿意 |
| [16:11] | my incredibly muscular, fun, large-handed brother a drink? | 和我强壮的 幽默的 慷慨的兄弟喝上一杯? |
| [16:14] | Eh, eh, eh, let’s focus on you, Barnaby. Okay. | 哎哎哎!今天你是主角 巴尼 |
| [16:20] | All right. I spy a group of women who have let their defenses down | 我注意到一群女人因为在同性恋酒舞厅 |
| [16:23] | because they are in a gay club. | 而卸下了防卫 |
| [16:25] | You see that chick right there? | 你看到那边那个小妞了? |
| [16:27] | She looks like she’d fall for sports agent and football player. | 她看起来会喜欢 运动代理商或者踢足球的男人 |
| [16:30] | Okay, I’m in. | 好的 我去试试 |
| [16:32] | Which one am I? | 这次我是当英雄还是流氓? |
| [16:34] | Please. | 拜托 |
| [16:37] | He’s very shy, loves tennis and Brazil, and drops his pants | 他很害羞 喜欢网球和巴西 而且… |
| [16:40] | after three dirty martinis. Now go, man, go! | 三杯马提尼酒后就是你的人了 快上吧! 伙计 快点! |
| [16:47] | I just never thought I’d see Barney so vulnerable. | 我从来没有 想到过巴尼也会这么脆弱 |
| [16:51] | Well, I guess no one wants to feel like they’re going through the world alone. | 我想没有人喜欢孤零零地 一个人度过一生的感觉 |
| [16:54] | Look at me, in a yummy sandwich! | 看我夹在一个美味的三明治的中间! |
| [16:56] | Okay, we’re actually right in the middle of something right now, so… | 我们现在正忙着呢 所以… |
| [16:59] | Ooh, I know what I want to be in the middle of. Thoughts? | 那我也和你们一起”忙”吧!怎么样? |
| [17:02] | God, can’t two straight guys come to a gay dance club, | 难道两个异性恋男人就不能 来同性恋酒吧? |
| [17:05] | enjoy some techno and good conversation without being bothered? | 听听音乐 讨论些问题 而不被人打扰? |
| [17:11] | How’s it going, guys? Still enjoying the attentions of men? | 怎么样?还是在 享受被男人追捧的感觉? |
| [17:14] | That’s like the eighth guy who’s hit on us in ten minutes. | 刚才那人是在十分钟内 第八个跟我们搭讪的 |
| [17:17] | It’s like, hello, my eyes are up here. | 傻小子一直对 我的裤子含情脉脉 |
| [17:19] | And it’s never the hot ones. | 而且来的都不是帅哥 |
| [17:21] | It’s always the losers. Bums me out! | 都是些没人要的家伙 真扫兴! |
| [17:24] | Looks like the boys learned their lesson. | 看起来他们有所领悟 |
| [17:26] | Do you totally miss being hit on? | 你是不是很希望有人跟你搭讪? |
| [17:27] | Oh, totally. Let’s go find a sports bar. | 对啊! 我们去找个体育酒吧 (体育酒吧里一般都是异性恋男人） |
| [17:31] | James, James, since you like arts and crafts, | 詹姆士 你喜欢手工艺不是吗? |
| [17:34] | look at what Charles here made with cherry stems. | 看看查尔斯用樱桃枝打出的蝴蝶结 |
| [17:37] | He did it with his tongue. | 他是用舌头做的 |
| [17:39] | Yeah. | 没错 |
| [17:40] | Barney. | 巴尼 |
| [17:41] | So, Charles, why don’t you put your number in my brother’s phone, | 把你的号码输进我兄弟的手机里 |
| [17:44] | and once he’s in a funner mood… | 等他心情好点的时候… |
| [17:46] | Barney, Barney, I don’t want his number. | 巴尼 我不想要他的号码 |
| [17:47] | I don’t want anyone’s number, okay? | 谁的号码我都不要 听见了吗? |
| [17:50] | I’m getting married. | 我就要结婚了 |
| [17:53] | Wow. – Best of luck to you both. – Thank you. | – 祝你们好运 – 谢谢 |
| [17:55] | My number’s in here. | 我的号码留里面了 |
| [17:57] | I’m very discreet. | 我是一个非常谨慎的人 |
| [18:00] | Okay, okay, excuse me. | 好吧 好吧 打扰一下 |
| [18:02] | Barney, family talk. | 巴尼 家庭会议 |
| [18:04] | Okay, dude, you have got to stop this, okay? | 兄弟 你不要这么做了好不好? |
| [18:06] | I know that my getting married is threatening to your way of life… | 我知道我要结婚的 这个事实对你的生活方式产生了威胁 |
| [18:09] | Oh, so now it’s my way of life? | 哦?这只是我的生活方式? |
| [18:10] | I thought it was our way of life. | 我以为这是我们共同的生活方式 |
| [18:12] | You’ve completely turned your back on it. | 你完全了背弃了我们的生活方式 |
| [18:15] | Look at you, not even suited up. | 看看你 你甚至没有穿西装 |
| [18:16] | Do you remember why we suit up, James? | 你还记得我们 为什么而穿西装吗 詹姆士? |
| [18:19] | To get laid. | 泡马子 |
| [18:20] | To show people that we are different | 是为了让别人知道我们与众不同 |
| [18:22] | from the millions of T-shirt and jeans lemmings out there. | 为了和数以百万 穿着T恤衫和牛仔的小子区别开来 |
| [18:26] | The suit shows that we are a force to be reckoned with, | 西装证明我们不可蔑视的力量 |
| [18:28] | a two-person army that plays by its own rules. | 我们是两个人的军队 有自己的准则 |
| [18:31] | But you’ve taken off the uniform, you’ve crossed enemy lines, | 但是你脱下了制服 你投靠了敌人 |
| [18:33] | and you’ve abandoned me. | 而且你抛弃了我 |
| [18:34] | Well, I’m not gonna let you do that. | 我是不会让你这样做的 |
| [18:36] | It’s not too late to back out of this stupid marriage thing! | 现在摆脱你这场愚蠢的婚姻还不迟! |
| [18:39] | You don’t have to do this, bro! | 你不需结婚 兄弟! |
| [18:41] | – Yes, I do. – Why?! | – 我需要 – 为什么?! |
| [18:42] | Because Tom and I are gonna have a baby. | 因为汤姆和我想要一个孩子 |
| [18:45] | What? There’s gonna be a baby? | 什么? 会有一个孩子? |
| [18:49] | Yes. We’re adopting. | 是的 我们打算收养一个孩子 |
| [18:51] | Oh, my God. I’m gonna be an uncle? | 天啊 我要当叔叔了? |
| [18:55] | For the rest of your life. | 你一辈子都会是 |
| [19:00] | And that’s how Barney became Uncle Barney. | 这就是巴尼怎么变成了巴尼叔叔 |
| [19:03] | A year later, at James’s wedding, | 一年以后 在詹姆士的婚礼上 |
| [19:05] | Barney could not have been more proud. | 这天是巴尼最自豪的一天 |
| [19:07] | To James and Tom. | 向詹姆士和汤姆致敬 |
| [19:09] | May you have a long and happy life together. | 希望你们新婚快乐长命百岁 |
| [19:11] | And may I always have the skin and libido of a much younger man. | 并且希望我的皮肤和性欲 永远都会像年轻小伙一样好 |
| [19:14] | – Cheers. – Cheers. | – 干杯 – 干杯 |
| [19:17] | Nice one. | 讲的不错 |
| [19:19] | Thanks. I decided to leave out the hetero college phase. | 谢谢 我决定不去讲 詹姆斯大学时代是个异性恋 |
| [19:22] | No one wants to hear about that. | 没有人想听这个 |
| [19:23] | It was perfect. | 你的演讲完美极了 |
| [19:24] | You even made Tom’s dad cry. | 汤姆的爸爸甚至都感动得搞哭了 |
| [19:27] | Might have been doing that because he’s a Republican. | 或者也许是因为他是共和党人所以被气哭的 (美国共和党不支持同性恋婚姻) |
| [19:31] | Whoa. | 哇! |
| [19:32] | It’s 9:00. | 都九点了 |
| [19:34] | We should be getting back. You guys want to split a cab? | 我们该回去了 你们要搭个顺风车? |
| [19:36] | Uh, no, I think I’m gonna stay a little bit longer. | 不了 我想再多呆会 |
| [19:38] | Yeah, me, too. I’m not tired at all. | 我也是 我还不太累 |
| [19:40] | All right, well, it’s getting late. Got to get the wife home. | 时间很晚了 我要带老婆回家了 |
| [19:42] | Oh, stop calling me that. It makes me sound fat. | 不要那么叫我 听起来好像我很胖 |
| [19:46] | Ugh, it’s a freaking epidemic. | 简直就跟传染病一样 |
| [20:03] | – May I? – Yeah. | – 我可以来看看小家伙? – 当然 |
| [20:11] | Hey, buddy. | 小家伙 |
| [20:13] | Your parents are married. | 你的父母结婚了 |
| [20:15] | Now, listen, you. | 你好好听我说 |
| [20:17] | Just because you’re being raised by married people | 不要因为你被已婚父母抚养 |
| [20:19] | doesn’t mean you have to choose that lifestyle. | 而选择他们的生活方式 |
| [20:22] | High-five. | 来 支持一下 |
| [20:24] | Luckily, you got me. | 幸运的是 你有我 |
| [20:26] | In 20 and a half years, you’ll be 21, | 20年零六个月以后你就21岁了 |
| [20:29] | and I will be… | 到那时我就… |
| [20:32] | Well, I haven’t decided how old I’ll be yet. | 我还没有决定那时候我多大岁数 |
| [20:34] | But we are gonna bro out, uncle and nephew style. | 但是我们将是称兄道弟的侄子和叔叔 |
| [20:38] | Stick with me, kid. | 你要跟着我 |
| [20:40] | I am gonna teach you how to live. | 我来教你怎么生活 |
| [20:44] | Great suit, by the way. | 顺便说一下 好挺的西装 |
| [20:50] | Who is the cutest? | 谁最可爱? |
| [20:58] | I don’t get it. | 我真搞不懂 |
| [21:00] | Tom liked my breasts in tenth grade. | 十年级的时候 汤姆还喜欢我的大胸 |
| [21:03] | Why doesn’t he like them now? | 为什么他现在不喜欢了呢? |
| [21:07] | Why? | 为什么? |
| [21:09] | Rosa, why always be attracted to the unavailable ones? | 罗莎 为什么总想得到 那些不可能得到的东西呢? |
| [21:12] | Why not accept the fact that you’re a beautiful woman | 为什么不接受 你很美丽的这个事实 |
| [21:15] | who is worthy of love? | 你是个值得别人去爱的女人 |
| [21:17] | Are you brave enough to hear that? | 我说这些你能勇敢地接受? |
| [21:19] | You… | 你… |