| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:00] | Kids, the key to a good relationship is communication. | 孩子们 维持良好关系关键是要懂得交流 |
| [00:03] | – You need to talk. – How about Mimi’s? | – 你得懂得去说 – 去咪咪饭店吃饭怎么样? |
| [00:05] | Nah, I don’t really feel like Mimi’s. | 我不太想去那吃 |
| [00:07] | Well, I’m hungry. Let’s just pick a place and go. | 我饿了 我们找个地方去吃点东西 |
| [00:09] | Oh, you know where we should go? Cynthia’s. | 去森雅斯 怎么样? |
| [00:11] | You love that place– remember what a great time we had | 你很喜欢那里 记得我们在那里度过的美好时光? |
| [00:13] | the last time we were there? | 上一次在那里的时候 |
| [00:14] | – We did? – Yeah, yeah. | 我们? -是啊 |
| [00:16] | We had that crazy waiter who kept going, “You two should get married! | 有个有趣的服务生不停的说”你们两个应该结婚” |
| [00:18] | You two should get married!” | “你们两个应该结婚” |
| [00:20] | It’s also important to know when to stop talking. | 知道什么时候 应该闭嘴也很重要 |
| [00:23] | Come on. Then we stepped outside. It was raining. | 想起了吗?然后我们就 走到了外面 外面正在下雨 |
| [00:26] | It was so romantic? | 很浪漫? |
| [00:28] | How can you not remember this? | 你怎么能够把这些忘了? |
| [00:30] | Because it wasn’t me. | 因为和你一起去的那个人不是我 |
| [00:33] | Oh, right! | 对…对… |
| [00:35] | It was… | 那个人是… |
| [00:37] | my sister. | 我妹妹 |
| [00:39] | You see, by the time you’ve hit your late 20s, | 你们知道 20多岁最难忘的就是 |
| [00:41] | you’ve dated a few people, | 和好多人曾经约会过 |
| [00:43] | but when you’re in a relationship, it’s common courtesy to pretend | 但是当你正在和一个人谈恋爱时 |
| [00:45] | that you haven’t. | 最好装作你毫无恋爱经验 |
| [00:46] | Oh, my God, Van Helsing is on. | 在播范海辛 |
| [00:49] | Remember when we went to see it? | 记得我们一起看过这部片子? |
| [00:50] | We sat in the back row. | 我们是坐在后排看的 |
| [00:53] | I’ve never seen Van Helsing. | 我从来没有看过范海辛 |
| [00:55] | That’s right. I saw it with my sister. | 想起来了 是和我妹妹一起去看的 |
| [00:59] | My boss just got back from Maui. | 我老板刚刚从毛伊岛回来 |
| [01:00] | He said it was really romantic. | 他说那里很浪漫 |
| [01:02] | Oh, it’s so romantic. | 那里是不错 |
| [01:03] | When were you in Maui? | 你什么时候去过毛伊岛? |
| [01:06] | – I… went… with my sister. – With my sister. | – 我是和…我妹妹一起的 – 和我妹妹 |
| [01:10] | Why do you always say that? | 你为什么总是说和你妹妹一起? |
| [01:11] | Look, we’re not 16. We’ve both dated other people. | 我们都是成年人了 和别人约会过是很正常的事情 |
| [01:15] | It’s silly to try to act like we didn’t. | 你为什么总要装作没有过? |
| [01:17] | You’re right. | 你说得对 |
| [01:18] | We should just be honest. | 我不应该撒谎 |
| [01:20] | Totally. | 完全不应该! |
| [01:21] | See that girl over there? | 看见坐在那里的女孩了? |
| [01:24] | Three years ago, I totally made out with her. | 三年前 我曾经追过她 |
| [01:27] | I don’t want to hear that. | 我不想听这个 |
| [01:28] | – What? You said… – God, that is so insensitive. | – 什么?你说过… – 你这个人毫不知趣 |
| [01:31] | – Remember honesty…? – You’re a jerk! | – 你说过要诚实 – 你这个混蛋 |
| [01:33] | Well, you’re… | 你… |
| [01:35] | confusing. | 真让人捉摸不透 |
| [01:52] | Okay, so you have to have sex with one. | 如果你不得不和某人上床 |
| [01:54] | Either classic mermaid; bottom half fish, top half human, | 你是选择人脸鱼身的古典美人鱼 |
| [01:58] | or inverted mermaid, top half fish, bottom half human. | 还是鱼脸人身的美人鱼? |
| [02:02] | Go! | 快说 |
| [02:03] | I don’t know. Is she fat? | 我不知道 她胖吗? |
| [02:05] | Yeah, but it’s a fish, so it’s the good kind of fat. | 美人鱼毕竟是鱼 当然丰满了 |
| [02:08] | Hot off the presses! | 最新消息 |
| [02:10] | I-I don’t take flyers. | 我不要广告宣传单 |
| [02:11] | You took one two seconds before you walked in here. | 你只要一会就走到那里了 |
| [02:13] | That’s different. It was for a strip club. | 那不一样 我去看脱衣服走得通常很快 |
| [02:15] | Two bucks off wings. | 如同装了一对翅膀 |
| [02:16] | How much is your flyer going to save me on wings? | 你宣传单上的演出有那么吸引我? |
| [02:18] | Fine. It’s a flyer from my play. | 这是关于我演出的宣传单 |
| [02:20] | Oh, Lily, I’d love to, but we’re not in college | 莉莉 我很想去 但是我们已经不是学生时代了 |
| [02:23] | and I’m not trying to sleep with you. | 我不会和你上床的 |
| [02:25] | – So anyway, this mermaid… – Hey, Lily’s friend asked her | – 所以无论如何 这条美人鱼… – 莉莉的朋友邀请她参加演出 |
| [02:27] | to be in this play, and it’s gonna be really good. | 演出会很精彩 |
| [02:30] | Lily, I love you, but we’re too old for this. | 莉莉 我很仰慕你 但是我们都过了这个年龄了 |
| [02:33] | Asking someone to come see your play | 让别人去看你的演出 |
| [02:35] | is like asking someone for a ride to the airport | 就如同让别人开车送你去机场 |
| [02:38] | or to crash on your couch or to help you move. | 或是让他抱你到沙发上 或让他帮你搬家 |
| [02:41] | Call a cab, book a room, | 叫个司机 订个房间 雇些搬运工 跟着我说 |
| [02:42] | hire some movers and repeat after me: | 再雇些搬运工 跟在我后面不停的说 |
| [02:44] | Friends don’t let friends come see their crappy play. | “朋友不会强迫他朋友去看糟糕表演的” |
| [02:48] | Okay, first of all, I’ve thought about it and top half fish. | 首先 我会考虑 选择鱼面人身美人鱼 |
| [02:53] | Second of all, we need you guys to decide something for us. | 第二 需要你们 帮我和罗宾决定一件事情 |
| [02:55] | Yes, you should break up. | 是的 你们应该分手 |
| [02:59] | So, earlier tonight… | 今晚发生了件事情 |
| [03:02] | Mm, we should get down to the bar. | 我看我们应该去酒吧了 |
| [03:05] | I know we should, | 我知道 |
| [03:07] | but you just look so sexy in my red sweatshirt. | 但你穿着我的红色运动服好性感 |
| [03:13] | Oh, God, why is this part of the story? | 干吗说这个? |
| [03:15] | We’re getting to it. | 故事还没有完 |
| [03:17] | Damn, my face is so dry. Is there any moisturizer around here? | 该死的 我的脸好干 这里有润肤露? |
| [03:20] | Yeah, there’s some in the bathroom. | 卫生间里应该有 |
| [03:22] | Got to moisturize! | 去拿润肤露 |
| [03:23] | Got to keep that pretty face moist. | 让那俊俏的小脸更加滋润 |
| [03:26] | Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no! | 不…不…不! |
| [03:29] | – What’s wrong with her? – She hates that word. | – 她怎么了? – 她讨厌那个词 |
| [03:31] | – What word, “moist”? – No! Seriously, stop! | – 哪个词?’湿润’? – 快给我闭嘴! |
| [03:35] | So, anyway, Ted goes into the bathroom to get the moist… | 然后泰德去卫生间里给我拿… |
| [03:39] | face lotion… | 润肤露… |
| [03:40] | Wow, this is great stuff. | 这东西不错 |
| [03:42] | Now I know the secret to your great complexion. | 我知道你皮肤好的秘诀了 |
| [03:44] | What are you talking about? It’s yours. | 你在说什么?这润肤露是你的 |
| [03:46] | No, it’s not. | 不 不是我的 |
| [03:47] | Oh, well… then I guess it’s Lily’s. | 那可能是莉莉的 |
| [03:49] | No, it’s not. | 也不是我的 |
| [03:51] | Whose moisturizer is this, Ted? | 润肤露究竟是谁的? |
| [03:54] | Um, my sister’s. | 是我妹妹的… |
| [03:56] | So, in other words, some girl you went out with. | 换句话说 它是 和你约会的某个女生的 |
| [03:58] | Um… I love you. | 啊…我爱你 亲爱的 |
| [04:02] | Disgusting. You let me put on the same moisturizer as one of your exes? | 真恶心! 你竟然让我用你前任女友的润肤露 |
| [04:06] | It was probably Carla’s. Her face was a train wreck. | 可能是卡尔的 她的皮肤很糟糕 |
| [04:09] | I’m don’t think Ted was dating her for her face. | 泰德又不是和她的脸约会 |
| [04:13] | Thank you, Marshall. | 多谢 马修 |
| [04:14] | Thank you so much. | 十分感谢 |
| [04:16] | Why is that still in your apartment? | 为什么它还在你的屋子里? |
| [04:18] | I don’t know. I just never threw it out. | 我不知道啊 可能是我从来没有把它扔掉 |
| [04:20] | Well, why not? Do you still have feelings for this girl? | 为什么不扔掉? 你对她还念念不忘? |
| [04:22] | Yeah. I’m madly in love with her, | 是的 我疯狂的爱着她 |
| [04:25] | and the only way I can deal with it | 而且我唯一可以做的 |
| [04:26] | is by holding onto a three-dollar tube of lotion. | 就是寄情于一只3美元的润肤露 |
| [04:29] | Not three dollars! Try 14. | 3美元!怎么不说是14美元! |
| [04:33] | Why is this such a big deal? | 你干吗这么生气? |
| [04:34] | Because I don’t want to use some whore’s moisturizer! | 因为我不想用妓女的润肤露! |
| [04:37] | Whoa, she wasn’t a whore. | 她不是妓女 |
| [04:39] | Well, she’s leaving expensive lotions all over town. | 如果一个女人用过的润肤露 满城都能找到 |
| [04:43] | It sounds like a whore to me. | 对于我来说 她就是妓女 |
| [04:44] | What else do you have from old girlfriends just lying around? | 你还留着前任女友的 其他什么东西? |
| [04:47] | Nothing. That’s it. | 没有了 就这个 |
| [04:49] | Well, except for the phone booth. | 除了那个电话亭 |
| [04:52] | And the lamp by the desk… | 桌子旁边的灯 |
| [04:54] | and the… | 还有… |
| [04:58] | No. | 不… |
| [05:00] | No! No! Oh, Ted! | 不…不…不! 泰德 |
| [05:04] | Ah, the age-old question: | 还是个老问题 |
| [05:06] | after you break up with someone, what do you do with the stuff? | 一旦你和某人分手 你该如何处理那些东西 |
| [05:08] | Question? Ain’t no question, girl. | 问题?那不应该是问题 |
| [05:11] | Obviously, he’s got to get rid of it. | 很显然 他应该把那些都扔了 |
| [05:13] | Which is obviously crazy and obviously, I’m not gonna do it. | 那显然很疯狂 而且我显然不会那么做 |
| [05:16] | So we agreed that we would let you guys decide. | 所以我们同意 让你们帮我们拿主意 |
| [05:19] | Yeah, like we did with Marshall’s pants. | 就像我们处理马修的裤子那样 |
| [05:21] | Ah, the 2005 landmark case of Lily v. The Joey Buttafuoco Pants. | 2005年轰动的案例 莉莉对决乔伊·布塔弗科裤子 |
| [05:30] | Nice, right? | 不错 是吧? |
| [05:32] | I’m gonna have to say no. | 我觉得不怎么好 |
| [05:34] | I don’t want some 16-year-old girl falling in love with you | 我可不会让一个16岁的女孩爱上你 |
| [05:36] | and then shooting Lily in the face. | 让莉莉伤心 |
| [05:38] | Yes! | 太好了 |
| [05:40] | I vote they can stay. | 我认为那女生会和他在一起 |
| [05:42] | “Check out the jackass in the parachute pants” is a good icebreaker. | 因为穿着迷彩服去结账是很少见的 |
| [05:46] | T ed. | 泰德 |
| [05:48] | Ted? Ted? | 泰德 泰德 你说说看 |
| [05:50] | Sorry, buddy, it’s a “no” for me, too. | 不好意思 我也觉得不行 |
| [05:52] | Oh, and by the way, Bel Biv Devoe called. | 顺便说一下 贝尔声称 |
| [05:55] | Even they don’t want those pants back. | 他们也不会如此打扮了 |
| [05:57] | They were insanely comfortable! | 它们穿起来很舒服 |
| [05:59] | They were like pajamas you could wear outside. | 就像可以穿出门的睡衣 |
| [06:01] | Marshall, it’s over. | 这些都过去了 |
| [06:03] | We even gave you an appeal and they didn’t look any better with combat boots. | 我们甚至还帮你瞧了瞧 配上军靴还是不好看 |
| [06:08] | All right, well, let’s hear the arguments. Ted, you go first. | 外面听听他们的争论 泰德 你先说 |
| [06:11] | Okay. The fact that I still have things from ex-girlfriends is no big deal. | 我还留着前任女友的东西 不值得大惊小怪 |
| [06:15] | I mean, when I see the phone booth on the piano, | 我的意思是说 当我看到钢琴上的电话亭时 |
| [06:17] | I don’t think of Jeannie Radford, | 我并没有想到吉莉 |
| [06:19] | I think of the good times I had backpacking through Europe. | 想到的是 在欧洲旅游时候的快乐时光 |
| [06:21] | And when I see the lamp, I don’t think of Allison Moses. | 当我看到台灯时 我没有想到爱丽舍 |
| [06:24] | I remember when I was broke, just out of college, | 我想到大学毕业后 我穷困潦倒的时候 |
| [06:27] | and I really needed a lamp. | 我需要一盏台灯 |
| [06:28] | And when I see that throw pillow, I don’t think of Lauren Stein. | 当我看到抱枕时 我没有想到劳恩 |
| [06:32] | I think of that weird orange-brown stain and how it got there. | 我想到的是上面那桔红色污点 以及是如何弄上去的 |
| [06:35] | Creamsicle and turkey gravy, | 都是些意外之财 |
| [06:36] | not at the same time. | 不同时候的意外之财 |
| [06:39] | Well, that’s adorable, | 不错 那些是很可爱 |
| [06:40] | but from now on, when I walk into the apartment, here is what I will see. | 但是从现在起 当我走进公寓 我看到的是… |
| [06:45] | I’m Ted’s college girlfriend. He made me 12 mix tapes. | 我是泰德的大学女友 他曾经给我做了12盘混音磁带 |
| [06:49] | How many has he made you? | 他给你做过多少? |
| [06:53] | He calls you “sweetie pie”? | 他叫你’甜心派’? |
| [06:55] | He called me “sweetie pie.” | 他就是这么叫我的 |
| [06:59] | I’m stupid, but my rack is bigger than yours. | 我不聪明 但是我的胸部比你大 |
| [07:05] | Really? You can’t look at a pillow | 真的? 你不能这么下结论 |
| [07:07] | without seeing my ex-girlfriend– a pillow! | 仅仅看到一个抱枕而没有看到真人 那只是抱枕! |
| [07:09] | Yes, Ted, the fact that you still have that pillow is creepy and gross. | 事实是那个抱枕很恶心! |
| [07:13] | – You’re creepy and gross. – Your mom’s creepy and gross. | – 你才恶心! – 你妈才恶心! |
| [07:15] | Order! Order! | 肃静! 肃静! |
| [07:19] | I got to side with Robin. | 我站在罗宾这边 |
| [07:20] | She’s your girlfriend, and if the stuff upsets her, you got to get rid of it. | 她现在是你的女友 她觉得不爽的东西 你就应该扔了 |
| [07:24] | I’ve got to side with Ted. | 我支持泰德 |
| [07:25] | Just ’cause you still have something an ex-girlfriend gave you | 留着前任女友的东西 |
| [07:27] | doesn’t mean you’re holding onto her. | 并不意味着你还想着她 |
| [07:29] | All right, Barney. | 好了 巴尼 |
| [07:31] | It all comes down to you. | 该你说了 |
| [07:34] | – I side with Robin. – What? | – 我支持罗宾 – 什么? |
| [07:36] | Ted, your place is too cluttered. | 你那地方太乱了 |
| [07:38] | It’s like you’re living in a Bennigan’s. | 和住在本尼根餐厅差不了多少 |
| [07:40] | Or a Danby’s. | 或者在丹比店里 |
| [07:44] | What, they don’t have Danby’s in the US? | 什么?美国没有丹比吗? |
| [07:46] | Really? | 真的? |
| [07:48] | Well, then were do you get Grizzly Paw ice cream sandwiches? | 那你们吃过掌印冰淇淋三明治吗? |
| [07:51] | Just stop, sweetie. | 别说了 亲爱的 |
| [07:55] | So I had no choice. | 我别无他法 |
| [07:56] | I packed up everything I had gotten from ex-girlfriends. | 只得把我前任女友的 所有东西打包 |
| [07:59] | It was painful, | 万分痛苦 |
| [08:01] | but not as painful as what I had to endure later that night. | 但那晚更痛苦 |
| [08:06] | New York is famous for its theater, | 纽约以戏剧而出名 |
| [08:08] | but there’s many different levels. | 但是戏剧水平也是分档次的 |
| [08:10] | There’s Broadway, | 那里有百老汇级别的 |
| [08:11] | off-Broadway, | 稍次于百老汇的 |
| [08:13] | off-off-Broadway, | 比百老汇差多了的 |
| [08:15] | homeless people screaming in the park, | 无家可归的人在公园里尖叫 |
| [08:17] | and then below that, the play Aunt Lily was in. | 紧接着就轮到莉莉的表演 |
| [08:21] | Eight flights, of stairs. | 八楼 |
| [08:22] | Who puts a theater up eight flights of stairs? | 什么剧院会建在八楼? |
| [08:26] | What kind of building is this? | 这是个什么建筑? |
| [08:27] | From the smell of it, I’m guessing a urine factory. | 闻这味道 估计以前是个工厂 |
| [08:31] | Where do you guys want to sit? | 我们该坐哪? |
| [08:33] | I know where I don’t want to sit. | 我知道我不想坐哪 |
| [08:36] | Guys, four together! | 这里有四个连一起的位置 |
| [08:41] | I brought a bag in case anyone needs to puke. | 我带了个口袋 以防看得会吐了 |
| [08:43] | Come on. It’s not gonna be that bad. | 快点 我看没那么糟吧 |
| [08:45] | No? Okay. | 没那么糟? 好吧 就当我没说 |
| [09:01] | I… am… Rage! | 我..是…愤怒 |
| [09:10] | I… am Greed. | 我…是…贪婪 |
| [09:16] | I am Rage… Envy! | 我是愤怒… 不 是嫉妒 |
| [09:20] | I am outta here. | 我想走了 |
| [09:22] | No, you’re not. You have to stay. | 不行 你得留下来 |
| [09:27] | This is the face of Consumerism! | 这是物欲的嘴脸 |
| [09:31] | Oh, my God. Ted’s part of the play. | 泰德也成戏中的角色了 |
| [09:40] | Hello, Greed, Rage… | 你们好 贪婪 愤怒… |
| [09:45] | Envy… | 嫉妒… |
| [09:47] | and Consumerism. | 还有物欲 |
| [09:55] | I… am your father… | 我..是你们的父亲… |
| [10:00] | America! | 美国! |
| [10:17] | Oh, baby, that was wonderful! | 亲爱的 你演得太棒了 |
| [10:20] | Totally, I had no idea Greed was the killer. | 我完全没有料到贪婪是凶手 |
| [10:22] | And when it became a play within a play, | 当我参加表演 |
| [10:24] | I was, like, “Now we are really cookin’!” | 我会像这样 ‘现在我们都醉了’ |
| [10:27] | Wow, Lily, that sucked! | 你们演得太差劲了! |
| [10:30] | Barney! | 巴尼! |
| [10:31] | What? It was terrible. | 怎么了?是很糟糕啊 |
| [10:33] | I mean, come on. You guys agree, right? | 我的意思是… 伙计们 你们都同意我说的 是吗? |
| [10:36] | Hey, sorry, I’m just being honest ’cause, you know, we’re friends. | 不好意思 我一向很坦白 ‘因为我们是朋友’ |
| [10:39] | No, friends make each other feel good. | 朋友应该让别人开心 |
| [10:42] | They build each other up and support them. | 他们站在背后 支持着朋友 |
| [10:44] | That’s what being a good friend is about. | 这才是朋友该做的! |
| [10:47] | Yeah, if you’re a Smurf. | 如果你是蓝精灵 我会那么做 |
| [10:49] | You know if you did a play, I would sit through the whole thing | 如果你表演 我会一直坐在那里看 |
| [10:52] | and I would compliment you on it afterwards. | 而且看完也不会抱怨什么 |
| [10:54] | Oh, really? You would? | 真的吗? 你真的会那样? |
| [10:55] | Yes. | 当然 |
| [10:56] | Bad move, Aldrin, bad move. | 真是让人感动 |
| [11:01] | We’ll be starting our Q&A with the director– | 五分钟后 将在这里进行导演观众见面会 |
| [11:04] | yours truly– in five minutes right here. | 你们真诚的… |
| [11:12] | Can you believe Barney said that about Lily’s play? | 你能想像刚才 巴尼说的那些话 |
| [11:15] | I know. He can be really insensitive. | 那家伙说话不经大脑思考 |
| [11:17] | It was pretty bad, though. | 他说的那话很糟糕 |
| [11:19] | Oh, my God, it was so bad. | 是的 糟糕透了 |
| [11:26] | Oh, my God, you’ve been robbed! | 你家遭打劫了? |
| [11:28] | Nope. | 不是! |
| [11:33] | All that stuff was from old girlfriends? | 你把前任女友送的东西都丢了? |
| [11:37] | Don’t you buy anything for yourself? | 你都不帮自己买东西的? |
| [11:40] | What can I say? | 该怎么说呢… |
| [11:42] | Papa gets swag. | 那些东西都是可有可无的 |
| [11:44] | And that should’ve been the end of it. But the next day… | 这个故事本该结束了 但是第二天… |
| [11:47] | You know, at first I was really bummed about getting rid of all my stuff. | 刚扔掉我的那些东西时 我很伤心… |
| [11:50] | But seeing how happy it makes you– totally worth it. | 但是看到你很开心 我就觉得很值 |
| [11:52] | Mm, that’s kind of how I feel when I begrudgingly have sex with you | 我明白你的感受 |
| [11:55] | when I’m really tired. | 就像我很累却要勉强做爱时的那样 |
| [11:56] | Exactly. Sometimes you gotta take one for the team. | 完全正确 有时候 为了大家应该要妥协 |
| [12:01] | Well, sit. Sit, yeah. | 坐下 坐下 |
| [12:03] | So you never keep anything your ex-boyfriends gave you? | 你有你前任男友留下的东西? |
| [12:05] | N ope. | 没有 |
| [12:06] | Well, except for my dogs. | 除了我的小狗 |
| [12:23] | So I had to get rid of everything from my past relationships | 我丢弃了所有以前女友送我的东西 |
| [12:26] | because you don’t keep things from your past relationships | 是因为你没有那些东西 |
| [12:28] | except, uh, where are your five dogs from? Oh, that’s right: | 这5只小狗是从哪里来的? |
| [12:32] | your past relationships. | 是你前男友们送的 |
| [12:33] | What’s your point, Ted? | 泰德 你究竟想说什么? |
| [12:35] | Well, you know how you said you come over to my apartment, | 你说你到我公寓来 |
| [12:37] | and all you can see are my ex-girlfriends? | 不管看到什么都如同 看到我前任女友… |
| [12:39] | What, so when you look at my dogs, all you see is my ex-boyfriends? | 你的意思就是说 看见我的小狗 就如同看到了我前任男友? |
| [12:48] | I do now. | 现在的确如此 |
| [12:51] | That’s ridiculous. | 真是荒谬 |
| [12:52] | I thought you said you got rid of everything your ex-boyfriends gave you. | 我记得你说过 你丢了前任男友送你的所有东西! |
| [12:55] | Well, yeah, but not my dogs. | 是的 除了小狗 |
| [12:57] | You said everything. | 你说的是所有东西 |
| [12:58] | But not living things. | 生物除外 |
| [12:59] | Well, tell that to the rare Bolivian cactus I threw away. | 但是我把别人送的仙人掌也扔掉了 |
| [13:02] | Things with a heartbeat can stay. | 那是植物 没有心脏的不包括在内 |
| [13:08] | Enjoying this? | 你很开心 是吧? |
| [13:09] | Pickles, go get your ball. | 皮卡 去捡你的球 |
| [13:11] | Go get your ball. | 快去 |
| [13:17] | Just admit it. It was a little hypocritical of you | 认了吧 你有点自私 |
| [13:20] | to make me get rid of all my stuff. | 让我扔掉那些东西 |
| [13:22] | Well, what do you want me to do, Ted? Get rid of my dogs? | 好吧 你想让我怎么做? 扔掉我的小狗? |
| [13:27] | Guess what position we did it in. | 我们的位子是不可取代的 |
| [13:29] | Yes. Yes, I want you to get rid of your dogs. | 是的 我想让你扔了这些狗 |
| [13:32] | Um, no. | 不 |
| [13:38] | Really? Well, I say we take it to the group, | 当真? 如果让大伙来决定的话 |
| [13:42] | but I don’t like your chances. | 我觉得他们 不会站在你这边的 |
| [13:44] | She’s not getting rid of the dogs. | 她不能扔了她的狗 |
| [13:47] | What’s the matter with you? | 你怎么了? |
| [13:49] | – Even I wouldn’t do that. – Yes! | – 换成我也不会扔 – 的确是这样 |
| [13:52] | You can ask somebody to get rid of their iguana after it poops in your hair, | 你可以要求别人扔了蜥蜴 如果它们爬进你头发里 |
| [13:55] | but not their dog. | 但不能要求扔了他们的狗 |
| [13:57] | I miss Jebediah. | 我开始想念占比第恩了 |
| [13:59] | Oh, I almost forgot. | 我差点忘了 |
| [14:01] | Flyers for my new play. | 我演出的广告宣传单 |
| [14:04] | Very funny. | 真有趣 |
| [14:05] | Oh, it’s not a joke. | 我不是开玩笑 |
| [14:06] | It’s my one-man show premiering tomorrow night. | 这是我个人表演的首场演出 |
| [14:09] | And even though it’s terrible and excruciatingly long, | 虽然演出很烂而且时间会很长 |
| [14:11] | I expect you all to be there since we’re such good friends. | 我们是好朋友 我希望你们都去 |
| [14:14] | Oh, we’ll be there. | 我们会去的 |
| [14:15] | Unless, of course, you just want to admit that you were wrong… | 除非 你们承认不是… |
| [14:17] | – Never. – Good. | 不会的 太好了 |
| [14:19] | Okay, I gotta go rehearse. | 就这样 我去彩排了 |
| [14:22] | Oh, I almost forgot. Bring a poncho; | 忘了提醒你们要带雨衣 |
| [14:24] | the first three rows get wet. | 坐在前三排会被淋湿的 |
| [14:40] | I’m sorry I didn’t tell you where the dogs came from. | 我很抱歉 没有告诉你狗是哪里来的 |
| [14:44] | I’m sorry I asked you to get rid of them. | 我很抱歉让你把它们扔了 |
| [14:46] | That was ridiculous. | 有点不可思议 |
| [14:48] | So we’re-we’re okay? | 这么说我们扯平了 |
| [14:50] | Yeah, we’re great. | 是的 扯平了 |
| [14:52] | And I thought we were, | 尽管我那么认为 |
| [14:54] | but just as it did in the seventh act of Aunt Lily’s play, | 但是如同莉莉 戏里第七幕演的那样 |
| [14:57] | Jealousy reared its ugly head. | 我还是满怀妒忌 |
| [15:07] | Oh, yeah, that’s the spot. | 真舒服 |
| [15:25] | Dude, I gotta pee. | 让开 我要撒尿 |
| [15:29] | I gotta go. | 我走了 |
| [15:37] | Oh, he’s really having trouble dealing with this, huh? | 他真的不喜欢那些狗 是吗? |
| [15:40] | Yeah, he really is. | 他真的很不喜欢 |
| [15:42] | It’s got me thinking, maybe I should get rid of my dogs. | 或许我应该把它们扔了 |
| [15:45] | Might be time to send them to the farm. | 或许把它们送到农场去 |
| [15:47] | – You’re gonna kill your dogs?! – No! No, no, no, | – 你打算宰了它们? – 不是 不是 |
| [15:50] | there really is a farm. | 我阿姨有个农场 |
| [15:51] | My aunt has a farm upstate. | 在郊区 |
| [15:53] | Oh, thank God. | 谢天谢地 |
| [15:55] | Aw, you know, if I were five dogs, | 你知道的 如果我是那5只狗 |
| [15:57] | I’d rather live on a farm than in an apartment in Brooklyn. | 我宁可住在农场 而不是市区的公寓里 |
| [16:01] | Yeah. I could visit them on weekends. | 我可以周末去看它们 |
| [16:04] | My aunt is awfully lonely up there. It’s just her and her lover, Betty. | 我阿姨孤孤单单住在农场 而且她很喜欢狗 |
| [16:08] | Oh, that’s perfect. They love dogs. | 那太好了 他们喜欢小狗 |
| [16:11] | “They”? What do you mean by “they”? | 他们? 你’他们’是什么意思? |
| [16:13] | Uh… uh…. uh… People upstate. | 嗯…嗯… 郊区的人… |
| [16:15] | Oh, look, it’s starting. Shh! | 演出开始了 |
| [16:20] | Are you sure you’re gonna be okay? | 你肯定你还好? |
| [16:21] | I mean, you know that this is gonna be… | 我的意思是 你知道演出会… |
| [16:22] | I know, but I’m gonna sit through the whole thing, | 但是我会坚持看下去的 |
| [16:25] | and I’m gonna say something nice about it afterwards. | 而且我打算表演 结束后说些好听的 |
| [16:28] | You know why? | 你知道为什么? |
| [16:29] | Because that’s what friends do. | 因为这是朋友应该做的 |
| [16:46] | Moist. | 潮湿 |
| [16:49] | M oist. | 潮湿 |
| [16:51] | Moist. | 潮湿 |
| [16:54] | Moist. | 潮湿 |
| [16:55] | That was the first 40 minutes of Barney’s show. | 演出前40分钟都是在说这词 |
| [16:57] | Moist. | 潮湿 |
| [16:59] | And then we endured about 20 minutes of this. | 然后我们忍受了20分钟的这个 |
| [17:14] | I have to go refill. | 我得去加水了 |
| [17:16] | I’ll be back in a moment. | 一会就回来 |
| [17:18] | Play’s not over. | 表演还没有结束 |
| [17:22] | I never get picked for audience participation. | 从来没有选过我参与演出 |
| [17:26] | And then it just got weird. | 它变得更加诡异 |
| [17:33] | Feelings. | 感受 |
| [17:34] | Inside. | 内心的感受 |
| [17:37] | Oh, no! | 哦 不 |
| [17:49] | And when that didn’t work… | 当那个不奏效时 |
| [18:10] | Okay! Stop! | 停下! |
| [18:12] | You win. Fine. | 你赢了 行吧 |
| [18:14] | Barney, I’m sorry I made you come to my show. | 很抱歉让你去看我的表演 |
| [18:18] | Thank you, Lily. | 谢谢 莉莉 |
| [18:19] | Is there anything you’d like to say about my show? | 关于我的演出 你还想说点什么? |
| [18:21] | No. | 无话可说 |
| [18:22] | No, I have nothing nice to say about your show. | 对于你的表演 我没有什么好话可说的 |
| [18:26] | You were right, Barney. | 你是对的 巴尼 |
| [18:27] | Let’s go to the bar. | 我们去酒吧 |
| [18:28] | Yes! I win! | 太棒了 我赢了 |
| [18:31] | I love winning! | 我喜欢胜利 |
| [18:33] | Oh, Lily. Oh, Lily, Lily, Lily. | 哦 莉莉 哦 莉莉 莉莉 |
| [18:36] | I was just getting warmed up, man! | 伙计们 我刚才只是热身 |
| [18:38] | If you had any idea what was coming up in act two… oh! | 如果你们 对演出第二部分有任何意见… |
| [18:41] | Well, I imagine it was pretty awful, so let’s go. | 我猜那会很糟的 我们走 |
| [18:44] | Pretty awful? Pretty awful?! It was a masterpiece of awful. | 很糟?很糟? 糟糕的事情才刚刚开始 |
| [18:48] | It’s genius how bad it is. I kind of wish you guys could see it. | 只有天才才能演得这么糟! 我希望你们继续看下去 |
| [18:51] | Yeah, well, anyway. | 无论如何你说的都是对的 |
| [18:53] | Act two is where I really hit my stride. | 第二部分我弄伤了我的腿 |
| [18:56] | Spoiler alert: the robot falls in love. | 扰流器改变了方向: 机器人坠入爱河 |
| [19:01] | How about this, Barney? How about we stay | 你看这样如何? 我呆在这里 |
| [19:04] | and-and watch the rest of your show? | 看完你剩下的演出? |
| [19:11] | It’s your funeral. | 你会很痛苦的 |
| [19:13] | Five, six, one, two. | 五 六 一 二 |
| [19:18] | So we stayed and let Barney torture us for another hour and a half, | 所以我们又被折磨了一个半小时 |
| [19:22] | ’cause that’s what friends do, apparently. | 之所以会这样 很显然因为我们是朋友 |
| [19:28] | Hey. Where’ve you been? I called you earlier. | 你去哪儿了? 我刚才打电话给你了 |
| [19:30] | I gave my dogs away to my aunt. | 我把狗送到我阿姨那里去了 |
| [19:32] | You what? | 什么? |
| [19:34] | Yeah. Just for a few months as a test run, but… | 前段时间是磨合期 但是… |
| [19:38] | I think it’s for the best. | 我认为还是把它们送走为好 |
| [19:40] | Wow. | 啊! |
| [19:42] | Oh, man. | 真是想不到 亲爱的 |
| [19:47] | Can we go inside? | 我们进屋吧? |
| [19:48] | Uh, no. Uh, let’s go to the bar. | 啊 不! 我们还是去酒吧好了 |
| [19:51] | Why? What’s going on inside? | 怎么了? 里面发生什么了? |
| [19:52] | – Um, the floors are gone. – What? | – 地板没了 – 什么? |
| [19:55] | Yeah. I-I sent them out to get, um, fixed. | 我把它们送去修了 |
| [19:57] | This is a terrible lie. I’m just going to bail. | 我撒了谎 我放弃 |
| [20:12] | I didn’t know you were getting rid of the dogs! | 我不知道你把狗送走了! |
| [20:14] | You said you threw all that stuff away! | 你说过你 把那些东西都扔了的! |
| [20:16] | Kids, this was the worst fight Robin and I ever had. | 这是我和罗宾 经历的最糟糕的事情 |
| [20:19] | It was one of those fights that last for hours | 也是能够持续数小时的战争之一 |
| [20:21] | and you start to get woozy and lose track of what you’re fighting about. | 我们头脑发晕 到后来甚至不知道两个人在吵什么 |
| [20:25] | We fought for so long, seasons changed outside the window. | 我们吵了很久 窗外的季节都变了 |
| [20:28] | Pages of the calendar blew off. It was crazy. | 日历不停翻页 真是疯狂 |
| [20:32] | But, ultimately, and I couldn’t tell you how for the life of me, | 但是最后 我不得不告诉你我的生活如何 |
| [20:35] | but somehow we got to here. | 以及为什么会变成这样 |
| [20:41] | We’re really doing this? | 我们真要这么做吗? |
| [20:44] | Yeah. | 是的 |
| [20:46] | – We’re moving in together! – We’re moving in together! | – 我们搬到一块住了 – 我们搬到一块住了 |
| [20:55] | The robot found love | 机器人觅得了爱情 |
| [20:57] | Confusing my circuitry | 系统识别错误 |
| [20:59] | My software’s been hacked | 我的系统出现故障 |
| [21:02] | Toaster oven | 吐司烘箱 |
| [21:03] | You’re the one for me | 是为我准备的 |
| [21:12] | Two, three, four. | 二 三 四 |
| [21:22] | That’s two. | 解决问题 |