| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:00] | It took me a while to figure out | 尽管得花点时间来解释 |
| [00:02] | but the key to understanding your Uncle Barney is this. | 但这是了解你们巴尼叔叔的关键 |
| [00:05] | When times are hard, it’s impossible to keep him around. | 你不爽时 抓都抓不住他 |
| [00:08] | Like when your aunt Lily and Uncle Marshall were broken up. | 比如当莉莉阿姨 和马修叔叔分手的时候 |
| [00:11] | Hey. What are you guys talking about? | 聊什么呢 |
| [00:13] | – Lily. – I got to go. | – 莉莉… – 我得走了 |
| [00:17] | But when times are good, it’s impossible to get rid of him. | 你开心的时候 他就苍蝇一样赶的赶不走 |
| [00:20] | What are you guys doing? | 伙计们干吗呢 |
| [00:21] | We just finished planning Marshall’s bachelor party. | 我们刚商量好 怎么给马修办单身汉派对 |
| [00:23] | Good, you haven’t started yet. Let’s talk logistics. | 讨论还没开始吧 我们来谈谈具体流程 |
| [00:25] | Now, have you laid out ground rules with Lily? | 莉莉有给你禁令? |
| [00:27] | Where you are or aren’t allowed to touch or be touched? | 什么地方能摸 什么地方不能摸或者被摸? |
| [00:30] | Show me on Ted. | 在泰德身上演示一下 |
| [00:31] | Actually, we’re, uh, we’re thinking of skipping the strippers. | 我们不打算要脱衣舞娘 |
| [00:35] | You… you want to have a party without strippers. | 你们…要举行 没有脱衣舞的派对 |
| [00:38] | This was the worse thing I could have said. | 我不得不说 最糟糕的事情是 |
| [00:40] | You see, uncle Barney loved cooking up bachelor parties. | 巴尼叔叔喜欢胡搞单身汉派对 |
| [00:42] | And it was always the same recipe. | 并且总是一模一样的胡搞 |
| [00:45] | You start with a slightly cramped hotel suite. | 狭窄的旅馆房间 |
| [00:48] | Arrange the chairs in a circle… | 椅子围成一圈 |
| [00:50] | Fill them with your closest friends. | 老友团团而坐 |
| [00:53] | Turn the heat up to about 90. | 温度直达90度 (注:这里是华氏温度 大致等于32℃) |
| [00:55] | Pump in a metric ton of cigar smoke. | 吞云又吐雾 |
| [00:58] | And then, right in the middle of the room, you throw in a girl. | 接着 房间中央 舞女开始妖娆 |
| [01:01] | But not a beautiful girl– | 但并非美女 |
| [01:04] | no, if this girl was ever beautiful, it was two kids, | 就算她曾是个美女 那也是在她两次怀孕 |
| [01:06] | three tattoos and one pesky substance abuse problem ago. | 三次纹身 一次吸毒之前 |
| [01:10] | Which one of you is Stuart? | 你们当中谁是斯图尔特 (新郎) |
| [01:12] | Please, I really don’t want to do this. | 不用了 我没打算要这样 |
| [01:14] | Shut up, put in your mouth guard. | 闭嘴 小心别咬到舌头 |
| [01:21] | Then she proceeds to do things that demean the groom, | 她接下来所做的 让新郎蒙羞 |
| [01:24] | herself and really, the entire human race. | 让她自己蒙羞 让整个人类为之蒙羞 |
| [01:27] | Disgusting. | 真恶心 |
| [01:29] | Ah, horrifying. | 太恐怖了 |
| [01:30] | – Classic. – Oh, please, please, no, no. | – 经典 – 拜托 不 不 |
| [01:33] | I don’t want anything like that happening to me. | 我可不想那样的事发生在我身上 |
| [01:36] | Stuart’s still trying to forget that night. | 斯途尔特至今 仍对那个晚上耿耿于怀 |
| [01:37] | It’s my bachelor party. We’re not having strippers. | 这是我的派对 我不要脱衣舞娘 |
| [01:40] | Oh, he thinks he has a sain it. | 他还以为他是柳下惠 |
| [01:43] | So, strippers it is! | 脱衣舞万岁 |
| [01:44] | Now, just, uh, tell me where we’re going to be and I’ll make some calls. | 现在 告诉我地点 我来打电话 |
| [01:48] | I think I can get the fourth one for free. | 我能搞到7.5折 |
| [01:49] | Quick question. Prosthetic arm. Deal breaker? | 快速问答 假肢 能不能接受 |
| [01:52] | – Barney, there is… – Before you say no, it has attachments. | – 巴尼… – 在你说不之前 想下 这可是有赠品的 |
| [02:10] | Look, I know you have some stuff planned for Marshall’s bachelor party, | 我知道你是为马修的派对想点子 |
| [02:13] | – but he really doesn’t want strippers. – Yes, he does. | – 但他真的不想要脱衣舞 – 不 他想要 |
| [02:16] | – Uh, well, he told me he doesn’t. – Uh, well, he told me he does. | – 他跟我说他不要 – 他跟我说他要 |
| [02:19] | – When? – Every minute of every day | – 什么时候 – 每时每刻 |
| [02:21] | as his inner animal thrashes against the cage of his own puritanical upbringing. | 当他骨子里的兽性 挣破他道德约束的囚笼 |
| [02:25] | Or do you guys not like naked girls. | 难道你们不喜欢裸女 |
| [02:27] | Um, we love naked girls. | 当然喜欢 |
| [02:30] | They’re one of the best things in the world. | 她们可是世上最棒的 |
| [02:32] | It goes… naked girls, democracy, | 依次为…裸女 民主 |
| [02:35] | the scene in Every Which Way But Loose where the monkey gives a guy the finger. | 永不低头中 猴子给那家伙竖中指 |
| [02:39] | – We just don’t like your naked girls. – What, my girls aren’t hot enough? | – 我们只是不想要你找来的舞娘 – 什么?难道我找来的姑娘不够辣? |
| [02:42] | I mean, all right, fine, the stripper at Stuart’s bachelor party was a 15. | 斯图尔特派对上 的那个舞娘只有15岁 |
| [02:46] | – She was 15? – No, a 15. Like in blackjack. | – 她15岁? – 不 15点 在21点中的点数 |
| [02:51] | As in, not sure whether you’d hit it? | 我在犹豫到底要不要出手 |
| [02:54] | – Exactly. – Nice. | – 真的 – 太好了 |
| [02:57] | This is important to Marshall. So, promise me, no strippers. | 这对马修很重要 答应我 不搞脱衣舞 |
| [03:02] | All right, I promise. | 好吧 我保证 |
| [03:05] | – I’m serious. – So am I. No strippers. | – 我很认真 – 我也很认真 不会有脱衣舞 |
| [03:10] | Now say it without winking. | 再说一次 别眨眼睛 |
| [03:12] | No strippers. | 不会有脱衣舞 |
| [03:16] | – You just winked. – No I didn’t. | – 你眨眼了 – 不 我没有 |
| [03:21] | So, when the day arrived, we all climbed into a rented Escalade and set out. | 我们开着一辆 租来的凯迪拉克然后出发 |
| [03:25] | Now, every bachelor party is usually made up of the same stock characters. | 现在的单身汉派对通常构成如下 |
| [03:29] | You’ve got the groom… | 新郎 |
| [03:31] | the best man… | 伴郎 |
| [03:32] | – Dead man walking! | – 只会陈词滥调的家伙 – 死囚漫步(电影片名) – the guy who speaks only in clich閟… |
| [03:37] | …the guy who disappears at the beginning of the night | 在派对开始便消失 |
| [03:39] | and doesn’t show up again until the end. | 直到结束才出现的家伙 |
| [03:41] | All right, who’s up for a little blackjack before we check in. | 去旅馆前先玩玩21点怎么样 |
| [03:44] | – No, no, no. – None for me. | 不…不…不… |
| [03:46] | See you guys back at the room, then. | 到时候旅馆见了 |
| [03:49] | And, of course, well… Barney. | 当然 还有巴尼 |
| [03:52] | Every bachelor party has a Barney. Oh, what’s this? | – 每个单身汉派对都有一个巴尼这样的人 – 这是什么 |
| [03:55] | This car has a DVD player? You mean, | 这车还有DVD?这么说… |
| [03:58] | we could have been watching these pornos the whole time? | 我们可以一路上看看A片了 |
| [04:02] | – Yeah. – This one’s in HD. | 这是高清格式的 |
| [04:05] | This one’s in H-double-D. Oh! | 这是高清+高清的 |
| [04:09] | That same night, aunt Lily was having a wedding shower. | 同一个晚上 莉莉阿姨也有一个单身女子派对 |
| [04:12] | And Robin showed up gift in hand. | 罗宾手持礼物出场 |
| [04:14] | Funny story about that gift. | 关于这礼物还有个有趣的故事 |
| [04:16] | Hey, Barney, check out what I got Lily for her shower. | 我为莉莉准备的礼物 看看怎么样 |
| [04:19] | It’s kind of racy. Think you can handle it? | 很是性感火辣 你行吗 |
| [04:21] | Uh, I’ve been in a ten-way. So, yeah. | 十倍于此我都受得了 没问题 |
| [04:29] | – It’s kind of see-through. – Whoa, ho ho! | 是透明装 |
| [04:32] | You weren’t kidding! You know when you should give that to her? | 你开玩笑吧 你知道这个什么年代最适合? |
| [04:35] | 1850. | 1850年 |
| [04:38] | Robin, it’s her bridal shower! | 这是她告别单身的派对 |
| [04:40] | All her friends are gonna be there, they’re going to be drinking. | 她所有的朋友都会出席 喝酒狂欢 |
| [04:42] | You need to get her something daring, something outrageous. | 你该送她一份大胆的 过火的礼物 |
| [04:44] | Well, what do you think I should get her? | 那你觉得我该送她什么 |
| [04:47] | There’s a store on Eighth Avenue that specializes in– | 第八大道上有一家店专门卖… |
| [04:52] | how to put this delicately?– | 要怎么说呢 |
| [04:53] | uh, battery-powered, adult- recreational fake penises. | 供人寻欢作乐的人造阳具 装电池的… |
| [05:00] | And so Aunt Robin went to a store on Eighth Avenue, | 于是罗宾阿姨来到 第八大道的那家店里 |
| [05:03] | and a battery-powered, adult-recreational… | 买了一个装电池的 供人寻欢作乐的… |
| [05:06] | Well, it was something inappropriate. And we’re back in. | 跟你们说这个不大合适 我们快进… |
| [05:15] | Robin! | 罗宾 |
| [05:17] | I’m so glad you’re here. | 真高兴你能来 |
| [05:18] | Come in, I want you to meet everybody. | 过来 我要把你介绍给大家 |
| [05:20] | Robin, this is my Grandma Lois and my Aunt Florence. | 这是我祖母罗伊斯 这是我阿姨佛罗伦斯 |
| [05:24] | Oh, lovely to meet you, dear. | 亲爱的 见到你真高兴 |
| [05:26] | They put this whole party together. | 她们筹办了今天晚上的派对 |
| [05:28] | It’s different from what I expected, but lovely. | 跟我想象中有些不一样 但很温馨 |
| [05:32] | Lovely. | 真的很温馨 |
| [05:33] | And oh, look, there are little kids here! | 这儿居然还有小孩! |
| [05:34] | Yeah, my cousins. | 是我的表妹 |
| [05:35] | Listen, I, uh, I forgot something somewhere so I’m going to just go… | 我忘了点东西 在别的地方了 所以我得… |
| [05:39] | Robin, this is my mom, Janice. | 罗宾 这是我妈妈杰尼斯 |
| [05:41] | Oh, honey. I’m so glad to finally meet you. | 真高兴今天终于可以见到你 |
| [05:44] | Me too. I, I’ve heard so much about you. | 我也是 久闻您的大名 |
| [05:46] | Me, too. Oh, here. Let me take your gift. | 我也一直听说你 让我帮你拿礼物吧 |
| [05:51] | Can I guess what it is? Is it a, a, a mini food processor? | 让我猜猜是什么 一个迷你食品加工机? |
| [05:55] | – No. – No? Oh. | – 不 – 不是吗? |
| [05:57] | Oh, give me a hint. What color is it? | 给我点提示吧 是什么颜色的? |
| [06:00] | Black. | 黑色 |
| [06:02] | Well, I guess I’m just going to have to wait and see! | 我想我得等到 礼物拆开才知道是什么了 |
| [06:06] | – Oh, great. – Robin… | 罗宾 |
| [06:08] | – this is my Cousin Margaret. | 这是我堂妹玛格丽特 |
| [06:10] | – Oh, finally, someone our own age! | 终于有跟我们一样年纪的了 |
| [06:12] | Wait, do I introduce you as “Cousin Margaret” or “Sister Margaret?” | 我应该介绍你为玛格丽特堂妹 还是玛格丽特修女? |
| [06:16] | Well, I’m not officially confirmed as a nun until next month | 我要到下个月才正式成为修女 |
| [06:19] | and I don’t want to tick off the Big Guy, | 我也不想催那位大人物 |
| [06:21] | so let’s stick with “Cousin” for now. | 所以现在还是叫”表妹”好了 |
| [06:24] | God’s watching. Excellent! | 连上帝都在 太好了 |
| [06:31] | Man, they spent a lot of money on this porno. | 他们拍这部片子可以花了大钱了 |
| [06:33] | Whoa– Morgan Freeman? Man, that guy’s in everything. | 摩根·弗里曼? 每部电影都看得到这老兄 |
| [06:38] | Aw, man, I grabbed the wrong Deep Impact! | 我拿错碟了 这是《彗星撞地球》 |
| [06:41] | No, leave it in, it’s a good movie. | 别换碟 这电影不错 |
| [06:43] | – But, dude, there’s no sex in it. – Yeah, just like marriage. Huh? Right? | 可是伙计 这部电影没有做爱 |
| [06:44] | Oh, oh, hey, check this out! Don’t ask how, | 就像婚姻 不是吗 |
| [06:49] | but I procured for us five loco-bueno, | 试试这个 别问我从哪弄的 |
| [06:51] | hand-rolled, highly illegal Cubans. | 但我给大家搞到5根洛可比亚诺牌 |
| [06:55] | Seriously, you could go to jail for smoking these things. | 手工卷制 绝对违法的古巴雪茄 |
| [06:58] | Marriage is like jail! Right, fellas?! | 我不是开玩笑 抽这玩意儿都能让你蹲大狱 |
| [07:00] | But at least in jail, you get to have sex! | 婚姻就像监狱 对不? |
| [07:04] | But we’re not lighting these babies up, till we get to the A.C. | 但在监狱 你至少还能做爱 |
| [07:09] | A.C.? | 但在抵达A.C前 我们还不能享用这些宝贝 |
| [07:13] | A.C? Um, Atlantic City. Try to keep up, Brad. | |
| [07:14] | We’re not going to Atlantic City. | 大西洋城 跟上我们的思路 布莱德 |
| [07:17] | Just a second, Brad. | 我们不是去大西洋城 |
| [07:21] | – Hi. – Hi. | 等等 布莱德 |
| [07:29] | We’re still going to Atlantic City, right? | 我们仍然是去大西洋城 是吧? |
| [07:31] | Oh, did I not tell you? Yeah, we switched it. We’re going to Foxwoods. | 我没告诉你吗 计划变了 我们去福克斯伍德 |
| [07:34] | Foxwoods? | 福克斯伍德? |
| [07:36] | But I’ve got an ipperstray waiting in tlanticaay itycay. | 但我已经让脱衣舞娘 在旅馆里等着了 |
| [07:42] | What the heck’s in Foxwoods? | 他妈的去福克斯伍德干什么 |
| [07:44] | Well, we’ve got five third row seats to the Popinski-Salazar rematch. | 我们有5张波平斯基跟萨拉扎 重赛的第三排座位票 |
| [07:47] | They’ve set aside our very own craps table, | 他们留了一张赌桌给我们 |
| [07:50] | and I reserved a private room for us at Connelly’s, | 我还在Connelly’s订了一个包厢 |
| [07:52] | where the five of us are going to be sharing a 102-ounce steak | 在那里我们将尽情 享用重达102盎司的牛排 |
| [07:54] | from a cow that I picked out on the Internet. | 牛排是我在网上订的 |
| [07:57] | – Yeah. – Great. The night’s ruined. | 很好 今晚就被你糟蹋了 |
| [08:00] | Sorry, Barney. It was an honest mistake. | 抱歉 巴尼 这只是个善良的谎言 |
| [08:07] | This is going to be great! | 完美的夜晚正等着我们 |
| [08:09] | Meat, violence, throwing money down the toilet. | 暴吃牛排 拳击 大把的赌博烧钱 |
| [08:12] | America– one; every other country– zero. | 烧美元得一分 烧其他货币不得分 |
| [08:15] | – Thanks, guys. – Yeah. | 伙计们 谢谢 |
| [08:17] | – You okay, Barney? – What can I say, Ted? You won. | 你还好吗 巴尼 |
| [08:18] | Hi. | 你想我说什么 泰德 你赢了 |
| [08:23] | You one… sad, pathetic loser. | 你是个可悲又可怜的输家 |
| [08:26] | Boys, say hello to Treasure. | 跟宝贝打个招呼吧 |
| [08:29] | Hi, Treasure. | 嗨 宝贝 |
| [08:32] | – I can’t believe that you did this. – I had to. | – 真不敢相信你居然这么做了 – 我应该的 |
| [08:34] | – I’m your best man. – Ted’s my best man. | – 我是你的伴郎 – 泰德才是我伴郎 |
| [08:35] | You’ve yet to make a decision and that’s fine. | 你做了决定 这很好 |
| [08:37] | But as your best-man-to-be, it’s my job to make sure at your bachelor party | 但作为你的未来伴郎 我有义务确保你参加在单身汉派对 |
| [08:41] | you see a woman take her clothes off while dancing to Whitesnake’s “Here I Go Again.” | 欣赏女郎在怀特斯奈克的 音乐声中边脱边舞 |
| [08:48] | All right, fine, but… let’s make it fast, all right. | 好吧 随便你 但快点结束好吗 |
| [08:51] | The fight starts in an hour we don’t want to miss it. | 比赛一个小时后开始 我们可不想错过 |
| [08:53] | It’s a girl taking her clothes off. How long can it take? | 只是个姑娘脱衣服 这要得了多少时间 |
| [08:55] | It’s a bit more complicated than that. | 没你想的那么简单 |
| [08:57] | I need two grounded sockets, a large sterile pot filled with hot water | 我要两个接地插座 一个干净的大壶装满热水 |
| [09:00] | and you all need to sign these releases. | 并且你们都得签署这个证书 |
| [09:06] | An egg beater! Aw, thank you, Aunt Sylvia! | 一个打蛋器 谢谢西尔维亚姨妈 |
| [09:11] | I love that it’s cordless. | 还是无绳的 我很喜欢 |
| [09:13] | Well, at least I got that part right. | 至少我的也不需要电线 |
| [09:15] | All of these gifts are so thoughtful. | 你们的礼物都太有创意了 |
| [09:18] | Lily? | 莉莉? |
| [09:20] | I need you to look at me right now and read my mind. | 我要你现在看着我 听我的心声 |
| [09:24] | – Oh, my God! You’re hearing me! – Yeah! | – 我的上帝 你听见了 – 是的 |
| [09:27] | Sorry this party’s so boring. What’s up? | 抱歉派对有点无聊 你怎么了 |
| [09:29] | Do not open my gift. | 不要打开我的礼物 |
| [09:31] | See what I’m doing here? | 看见我的动作了吗 |
| [09:33] | I’m looking over at the gift, then back at you, | 我先看看礼物 再回头看你 |
| [09:37] | and I’m shaking my head, “no.” | 接着摇头 “不要” |
| [09:40] | Gift. You. No. | 礼物 你…不要? |
| [09:44] | – Are you getting that? | 懂了吗? |
| [09:45] | – I totally got it. | 完全了解 |
| [09:54] | Here you go. | 给你这个 |
| [09:57] | Lily said it was your time of the month. | 莉莉说你正是每月的那几天 |
| [10:00] | You’re welcome. | 不客气 |
| [10:07] | What are you doing? | 你要做什么 |
| [10:09] | Oh, just, um… rearranging the gifts. The pile looked a bit precarious. So… | 只是…把礼物重新摆放一下 看上去有些摇摇欲坠 |
| [10:15] | Oh, don’t worry, I’ll keep an eye on it. | 别担心 我会看着的 |
| [10:17] | Great. You do that. | 那好 你来吧 |
| [10:20] | You’re gonna make a damn good nun. | 你他妈一定会是个好修女的 |
| [10:26] | As many times as Robin told this story over the years, | 此后数年 每当罗宾讲到这件事 |
| [10:29] | she would never quite be able to explain the logic of her next move. | 她都无法合理的 解释她接下来的行为 |
| [10:39] | Is this a strip show or a Kiss concert? | 这是脱衣秀还是Kiss组合的演唱会啊 |
| [10:41] | Shh! She’s starting. | 嘘 她正要开始呢 |
| [10:44] | Please turn off your cell phones, pagers and sense of shame. | 请关掉手机传呼机 释放你们内心的狂野激情吧 |
| [10:48] | All right, boys. Lie back, get comfortable, and enjoy the show. | 帅哥们 舒服的躺着 尽情享受吧 |
| [10:58] | Of course there’s no way I’m telling you about her show. | 我不能向你们描述演出的具体内容 |
| [11:01] | – So, let’s skip ahead a little. – Ow! | 所以跳过这一小段 |
| [11:04] | Oh my God, are you all right? | 我的天 你还好吗 |
| [11:06] | No, I am not all right, you idiot. My ankle is broken! | 不 我不好 你这蠢货 我脚折了! |
| [11:09] | – Take me to the hospital! | 送我去医院 |
| [11:10] | – Um, actually, we have tickets. | 可我们还有比赛的门票 |
| [11:14] | You know what? Thanks a lot, Barney. | 这一切全拜你所赐 |
| [11:16] | She told you at the beginning of the show | 她一早就说过 |
| [11:17] | not to use the smoke machine when she’s on the hippity hop. | 当她在弹力球上的时候 别碰喷雾机 |
| [11:20] | Now I’m going to have to spend the rest of my bachelor party in a hospital. | 现在我将不得不 在医院继续我的单身派对 |
| [11:22] | Well, hey, maybe we’ll get to see her X-rays. | 对了 我们去看她的X光片 |
| [11:24] | The ultimate strip show. | 终极脱衣秀 |
| [11:26] | – X-rays. More like triple X-rays. – Just stop. | – X片 不如说是三X片 – 给我闭嘴 |
| [11:32] | Which exit is the hospital? | 哪边是医院出口? |
| [11:33] | What if she doesn’t make it to the hospital? | 如果她没出事多少 |
| [11:35] | Barney, please calm down. | 巴尼 冷静 |
| [11:37] | Maybe we should just take her to the desert, | 也许我们该把她丢进沙漠 |
| [11:38] | bury her and wash our hands of this whole thing! | 活埋 然后彻底撇清这件事 |
| [11:40] | Dude, what is the matter with you? | 帅哥 你怎么了 |
| [11:42] | I’m just trying to illustrate to Marshall that as his best man… | 我只是想让马修知道 作为他的伴郎… |
| [11:44] | – You’re not my best man. | 你不是我的伴郎 |
| [11:45] | – As his best man, | 作为他的伴郎 |
| [11:46] | I would help him bury a hooker in the desert. | 我会帮他把妓女活埋在沙漠里 |
| [11:48] | – I’m not a hooker. | 我不是妓女 |
| [11:48] | – And you’re not my best man. | 你不是我的伴郎 |
| [11:49] | You’ve ruined my bachelor party. | 你毁了我的派对 |
| [11:51] | I don’t know why you wouldn’t just listen to me | 实在搞不懂 当我拒绝你的提议时 |
| [11:52] | when I said I didn’t want this. | 你怎么就不听从我呢 |
| [11:54] | Well, the fight started ten minutes ago. Maybe-maybe we should listen. | 比赛十分钟前开始了 也许我们该听听广播 |
| [11:57] | Oh, Doctor, what a fight! | 多么精彩的比赛啊 |
| [11:59] | That knockout will be talked about for years to come! | 最后这一击将在 以后为人们所津津乐道 |
| [12:01] | Anyone lucky enough to be in the arena tonight | 今晚在场的所有人 |
| [12:03] | just witnessed boxing history in the making! | 将有幸成为拳坛历史的见证者 |
| [12:07] | Thank you so much, Margaret. | 太感谢你了 玛格丽特 |
| [12:09] | I can’t believe you carved that crucifix yourself. | 真不敢相信这个 十字架是你亲手刻的 |
| [12:12] | So talented. | 你太有才了 |
| [12:19] | For you. | 给你 |
| [12:21] | Oh. And this one’s from… | 这是… |
| [12:24] | – Grandma Lois. – Oh. No, wait, darling. | – 路易斯奶奶的礼物 – 亲爱的 等等 |
| [12:28] | Before you open this, I-I want to say a few words. | 在你打开它之前 我有话要说 |
| [12:32] | Okay, something you need to know. | 我得事先声明 |
| [12:34] | Grandma Lois thought she was giving her granddaughter an antique sewing machine. | 路易斯奶奶以为这是 她送给她孙女的古董缝纫机 |
| [12:39] | And we’re back in. | 继续我们的故事 |
| [12:41] | Honey, this handy little device has been in our family for generations. | 这个手控的小玩意 在我们家世代相传 |
| [12:47] | I used it, your great grandmother used it. | 我用过 你曾祖母用过 |
| [12:50] | Now, her mother didn’t use this one, but she used one just like it. | 太祖母没用过这个 但她有一个差不多的东西 |
| [12:54] | Of course, back then, they were made out of wood. | 话说回来 它们都是木制品 |
| [12:57] | And, uh, I guess before that, you just had to do it by hand. | 我想在那之前 人们只能靠自己的双手来解决 |
| [13:01] | – Would you pass the wine, please? | 请把酒递給我一下 |
| [13:04] | – No. | 不… |
| [13:05] | Hey, Marshall, | 马修 |
| [13:07] | while we’re here, you may as well go down to the morgue and | 既然你来这了 你可以去停尸房 |
| [13:09] | climb into a drawer, ’cause that’s what marriage is like. | 钻进停尸的柜子 因为婚姻就是这样 |
| [13:12] | Can I get an amen? | 你们同意吗 |
| [13:16] | – Is everything all right at home, Stuart? – No. | – 斯图尔特 你跟你老婆还好吧? – 不好 |
| [13:27] | It’s broken. | 腿断了 |
| [13:28] | Oh, damn it, this is bad. I really can’t lose this job. | 该死 这真糟糕 我不能丢掉这份工作 |
| [13:33] | My daughters are about to start school, and my fianc? well… | 我女儿就要开学了 可我家那口子… |
| [13:39] | ever since he got back from Iraq, pretty much all he does is drink. | 自打从伊拉克回来 他就只知道喝酒 |
| [13:43] | I think about leaving him, but… | 我想过要离开他 但… |
| [13:45] | I don’t want my girls growing up without a dad like I did. | 我不想女儿们像我一样 在没有父亲的环境长大 |
| [13:50] | I don’t want them to know what that’s like. | 我不愿让她们有那样的经历 |
| [13:55] | – So, show time? – What is the matter with you? | – 该表演了? – 你有毛病? |
| [13:58] | Her ankle’s broken. | 她腿断了 |
| [14:00] | I know for a fact that the second half of her act | 我非常清楚 她通常以就座或仰卧的姿势 |
| [14:03] | takes place largely in a seated or supine position. | 进行下半段的表演 |
| [14:05] | Oh, that’s true. | 是的 |
| [14:07] | Treasure, please, don’t worry about the show. | 宝贝 别为演出发愁 |
| [14:10] | Uh, we’d feel bad. | 我们会很内疚 |
| [14:12] | What does that mean? | 你什么意思 |
| [14:14] | No. We just mean, uh, you’re off the hook. | 我是说 你又不是妓女 |
| [14:16] | You don’t have to do it. | 你不是非得这么干 |
| [14:17] | I don’t have to do it? Well, guess what? | 我不是非得这么干? 你算什么东西 |
| [14:20] | I know I don’t have to do it. I do it because I am good at it. | 我知道我该干什么 我做这行是因为我擅长 |
| [14:25] | Look, I don’t need your pity. | 我不需要你的同情怜悯 |
| [14:27] | All I want to do is give you a great show because you’re getting married! | 我只是想让你欣赏到精彩的表演 因为你要结婚了! |
| [14:31] | Is that so much to ask? Is that such a major inconvenience?! | 这是很过分的要求吗 这让你很不便吗 |
| [14:46] | Oh, that is wrong. | 这是个错误 |
| [14:49] | Oh, that’s just so wrong. | 错得太离谱了 |
| [14:52] | Well, the doctor did say for her to keep it elevated. | 医生有嘱咐她保持高抬腿 |
| [15:00] | When I was a girl, | 我还是个小姑娘的时候 |
| [15:01] | my mother taught me and my sister to use it. | 我母亲就教我和我妹妹如何使用它 |
| [15:04] | We used to have contests to see who could finish faster. | 我们常常比赛看谁做得更快 |
| [15:07] | It was so exciting. The whole family would gather around to watch. | 全家人都围在一起看 相当激动人心 |
| [15:11] | And when I was a new bride, | 而我新婚的时候 |
| [15:14] | this is what kept me buzy all those long nights | 多亏了它 我才在 你们祖父远征朝鲜的 |
| [15:16] | when your grandfather was in Korea. | 那些漫漫长夜里不那么寂寞难耐 |
| [15:21] | And speaking of your grandfather, | 说到你们祖父 |
| [15:23] | though I don’t think he’d care to admit this to any of his army buddies, but… | 尽管我不觉得他会向谁承认 但… |
| [15:28] | he’d have a go at it every once in a while. | 每隔一阵他就会拿它出来… |
| [15:31] | And he enjoyed it. | 他喜欢这个 |
| [15:34] | Oh, open it up, sweetie. | 打开看看 亲爱的 |
| [15:36] | May this give for you as much joy as it’s brought me. | 愿它给你欢愉 就像它曾带给我的 |
| [16:03] | Grandma, um… | 奶奶… |
| [16:08] | Wow. Well, take it out, honey. I want to show you how to use it. | 拿出来啊 亲爱的 我想教你怎么用 |
| [16:13] | Okay, no, no! Don’t take it out. | 不 不 别拿出来 |
| [16:16] | Lily, that’s not your grandma’s gift. It’s mine. | 莉莉 那不是你奶奶的礼物 是我的 |
| [16:19] | I panicked, and I switched the cards because I was embarrassed. | 我很慌张 我很尴尬 所以我偷换了礼物上的卡片 |
| [16:23] | Well, what is it? | 这到底是什么 |
| [16:34] | It’s just like the one Miranda gave to Charlotte on Sex and the City. | 这跟《欲望都市》里 米兰达送夏洛特的一样 |
| [16:39] | Oh, I love that show. I always watch it on TBS. | 我喜欢那个剧 我一直看TBS的《欲望都市》 |
| [16:43] | Oh, you would. You’re such a Samantha! | 确实值得一看 你就是莎曼莎 |
| [16:45] | Oh, I’m a Carrie! You’re a Samantha! | 我是凯利 而你是莎曼莎 |
| [16:49] | And then the night became a whole new kind of uncomfortable. | 然后那一晚变成了另一种的不爽 |
| [16:53] | – So where do I get one of these? – Mom! | – 我该上哪儿去买这个呢 – 妈 |
| [17:00] | Man, what a show, huh? | 伙计 烂透了的表演 是吧 |
| [17:02] | She did some disgusting stuff. Really sticks with you. | 瞧她那恶心的姿势 整个儿都粘在你身上 |
| [17:06] | I may be done eating. | 我不吃了 |
| [17:08] | Me, too. | 我也是 |
| [17:10] | I mean, like, forever. | 我是说永远 |
| [17:12] | Me, too. | 我也是 |
| [17:13] | I miss my wife. | 我想我老婆 |
| [17:17] | Hey, let’s go around the table and say what our favorite part was. | 吃完饭大家就聊聊 最喜欢哪部分的表演 |
| [17:20] | Mine was that thing with the typewriter. | 我喜欢有打字机的那一段 |
| [17:23] | I mean, she made some spelling mistakes, but still. | 尽管她有很多拼写错误 但这不影响… |
| [17:27] | Ooh, and you guys were all, “Barney, put out the cigar! | 你们这些家伙 都叫 “巴尼 把烟灭掉” |
| [17:29] | It’s a non-smoking room!” And I was all, “Hell, no, this is a Cuban!” | “这是无烟室” 我说 “不 这可是古巴烟草” |
| [17:34] | Of course, eventually, I did put it out. | 当然 我最后还是把烟灭了 |
| [17:37] | Did I put it out? | 我灭了吗 |
| [17:39] | I put it out. | 我灭了 |
| [17:41] | Did I put it out? | 我灭了吗 |
| [17:44] | I put it out. | 我灭了 |
| [17:47] | Did I put it out? | 我灭了吗 |
| [17:48] | It was a small fire, | 火灾并不严重 |
| [17:49] | not even big enough to force an evacuation of the hotel, | 还不至于让整个旅馆的人被疏散 |
| [17:52] | but definitely big enough to get us kicked out, | 但却足够糟糕到让我们被赶出去 |
| [17:54] | and bring Marshall’s bachelor party to an early end. | 因此提前结束马修的单身汉派对 |
| [17:57] | Is that…? | 那是…? |
| [18:00] | It is. | 正是 |
| [18:06] | Hey, guys. | 嗨 伙计们 |
| [18:10] | How was the fight? | 战况如何 |
| [18:15] | Hey, what are you guys doing here? What happened to the bachelor party? | 你们在这儿干?单身汉派对? |
| [18:18] | We missed the fight, dinner was ruined, | 我们错过了拳击比赛 晚饭也被毁了 |
| [18:21] | we spent half the night in the hospital, and got kicked out of the hotel. | 我们在医院呆了半个晚上 并且被旅馆赶了出来 |
| [18:23] | – What do you think happened? | 你觉得发生什么了 |
| [18:24] | – Barney. Barney. | – 巴尼 – 巴尼 |
| [18:26] | Hey, I was just trying to be a good best man. | 我只是想做个称职的伴郎 |
| [18:29] | You know what a best man does, Barney? | 你知道怎样才是称职的伴郎? |
| [18:30] | He does what the groom wants. | 他得紧密团结在 以新郎为核心的周围 |
| [18:32] | But all you ever think about is what you want, what’s best for you. | 可你都只是按照 你的意愿做你想做的 |
| [18:35] | Best man? | 伴郎? |
| [18:36] | I’m not even sure I’m inviting you to the wedding at this point. | 我现在都不确定是否要请你参加我的婚礼 |
| [18:38] | You don’t mean that. | 你不会吧 |
| [18:40] | Why should I invite you? You don’t even want us to get married. | 我干吗要请你 你甚至都不希望我们结婚 |
| [18:46] | That’s not true. | 巴尼不是那样的人 |
| [18:47] | Lily, don’t. | 莉莉 别说了 |
| [18:50] | What? | 什么 |
| [18:53] | I’m sorry, Barney. | 很抱歉 巴尼 |
| [18:54] | It happened last summer when we were broken up. | 那是去年夏天我们分手时候的事 |
| [18:59] | Hey, what are you guys talking about? | 伙计们 聊什么呢 |
| [19:01] | – Lily. – Ah, I got to go. | – 莉莉… – 我得走了 |
| [19:09] | Newark Airport, please. | 纽华克机场 谢谢 |
| [19:19] | Yeah, yeah, yeah. Barney, what are you doing here? | 巴尼 你怎么来了 |
| [19:21] | I can’t believe it’s really you. Come in, have a seat. | 难以置信真的是你 进来 快请坐… |
| [19:22] | Do you want some tea? I know the apartment’s small, | 要喝茶吗 我知道公寓很小 |
| [19:24] | but I don’t need much space. Let me show you some of my paintings. | 但对我已经足够了 给你看看我的画 |
| [19:26] | I think it’s some of my best work ever. | 是我至今为止最好的作品 |
| [19:27] | Just stop it. | 如果你要说这些那就闭嘴吧 |
| [19:28] | Lily, you have to come home. You and Marshall belong together. | 莉莉 你得回家 你跟马修心心相印 |
| [19:32] | The two of you | 你们俩 |
| [19:33] | have something that most people search their whole lives for and never find. | 是天作之合而许多人 却有缘无份 只能抱憾终身 |
| [19:36] | I know you love him, and if you knew what he was going through right now, | 我知道你爱他 如果你知道 他现在是怎样的颓废萎靡 |
| [19:38] | you wouldn’t be here for one more second. | 你绝对在这儿呆不下去 |
| [19:41] | I bought you a ticket home. | 我给你买了回去的机票 |
| [19:43] | Marshall is one of the best people I know, | 马修是我认识的最好的人 |
| [19:45] | and it won’t be long until someone else realizes that, | 迟早别人也会发现这点 |
| [19:47] | and you’ll lose him forever. | 那时你就会永远失去他了 |
| [19:49] | I can’t stand the thought of that happening, | 只是假设 我都难以接受 |
| [19:51] | and I cannot keep stealing chicks from him forever. | 可我也不能总守在他身边 把觊觎他的小妞都拐走 |
| [19:55] | Never, ever tell anyone I was here. I will deny it tooth and nail. | 千万 千万别告诉 别人我来过 我会抵死否认 |
| [19:58] | This trip never happened. | 我从没来过 |
| [20:03] | Hey, if you had three hours to kill before your flight, what would you do– | 如果你在登机前 有三个小时空闲 你要怎么打发? |
| [20:05] | Alcatraz or Fisherman’s Wharf? | 是逛监狱岛?还是渔人码头? (注:都是旧金山的旅游景点) |
| [20:11] | You really did that? | 这是真的吗 |
| [20:16] | Marshall, I think Barney’s your best man. | 我认为巴尼是你真正的好朋友 |
| [20:22] | Yeah. Yes, he is. | 是 他是的 |
| [20:23] | See, Lily? This is why I didn’t… | 知道了吧 莉莉 这就是为什么我不… |
| [20:26] | – Really? – Really. | – 真的吗 – 真的 |
| [20:29] | Real… | 真… |
| [20:30] | In your face, loser! | 瞧瞧你那表情啊 你输了 |
| [20:34] | Take it easy, all right. Ted’s still my best man, too. | 别激动 泰德 也仍然是我的伴郎 |
| [20:36] | You guys are co-best men. | 你们俩都是伴郎 |
| [20:38] | Right. Yes, we’re both best man. | 是的 我们都是伴郎 |
| [20:43] | No, um, seriously. You guys are co-best men. | 不 正确的说 你们 |
| [20:45] | Of course. | 当然 |
| [20:56] | I can’t believe you got me this. | 真不敢相信你送我这个 |
| [20:58] | Oh, I only did it as a joke. I can return it for you you want. | 我只是想开个玩笑 如果你不喜欢我可以拿去退 |
| [21:01] | Oh, no, it’s okay. You don’t have to go all the way back down there. | 不 不 不用了 拿去退太麻烦了 |
| [21:05] | – I’ll, I’ll just throw it away. | 我可以把它放一边 |
| [21:06] | – Well, I mean, | 这样的话 |
| [21:07] | if you were going to throw it away, maybe I’ll take it | 如果你要把它放一边 还不如让我拿走 |
| [21:08] | in case I get invited to another wedding shower. | 下次谁再请我参加单身聚会 我就不用买了 |
| [21:11] | – It’s a great gag gift. | 这可是让人瞠目结舌的礼物 |
| [21:12] | – Yeah, it’s really funny. | 是 这东西很有意思 |
| [21:14] | You know who would get a kick out of it? | 你猜谁会被它吓得最厉害 |
| [21:16] | Marshall. | 马修 |
| [21:17] | So, so maybe I’ll just hold on to it. | 所以 也许我该把它留着 |
| [21:19] | I would be embarrassed if Marshall found out that I bought it for you, | 要是马修知道我送这个给你 我会很难为情的 |
| [21:23] | – so I’d better just take it. – Robin, leave it. | – 所以我最好拿走 – 罗宾 给我 |