| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:00] | Well, kids, here we are. | 孩子们 |
| [00:01] | We’ve arrived | 我们现在讲到了 |
| [00:02] | My 30th birthday. | 我30岁的生日 |
| [00:04] | The long-awaited story of… | 还有那个众望所归的 |
| [00:07] | …the goat. | 山羊故事 |
| [00:09] | That week started just like any other. | 这周也同往常一样 |
| [00:10] | Barney woke up in some girl’s bed. | 巴尼在某个女孩的床上醒过来 |
| [00:16] | In my experience, the way this normally goes is, | 以我的经验 接下来的”流程”应该是 |
| [00:19] | We lie here for a while, | 我们在这里躺一会 |
| [00:21] | Make a little awkward chitchat. | 尴尬的闲聊 |
| [00:26] | Check. | 没错 |
| [00:27] | Then I make up some cabinet meeting, heart surgery, | 然后我会编些什么紧急情况 内阁议会 或者心脏手术 |
| [00:30] | Rocket test flight I’ve got to be at, | 也或者是离了我不行的火箭升空测试飞行 |
| [00:31] | Slip out of the apartment and never call you again. | 然后偷偷溜走再也不会给你电话 |
| [00:34] | And later at the bar, | 之后就在酒吧里 |
| [00:36] | You tell your good friend robin | 你告诉你的好朋友 罗宾 |
| [00:37] | The story of your latest conquest, | 讲述你的最新战果 |
| [00:38] | And she thinks to herself, | 然后她会在心里默默想 |
| [00:40] | “who is this sad, self-loathing idiot | 谁是这个傻了吧唧 活得不耐烦的白痴 |
| [00:44] | Who climbed into bed with barney stinson?” | 跟巴尼·斯丁森搞上了 |
| [00:47] | Actually, you usually say that out loud. | 其实 你每次都喊得跟拿了喇叭一样大声 |
| [00:53] | So… | 这样看来… |
| [00:56] | …i just slept with my best friend’s ex-girlfriend | 我跟我最好的朋友的前女友上床了 |
| [01:00] | And I just slept | 我也一样 |
| [01:01] | With my ex-boyfriend’s really good friend. | 跟我前男友的好朋友上床了 |
| [01:04] | Best friend. | 是最好的朋友 |
| [01:07] | Okay, here’s the deal, barney. | 好 我们这样 巴尼 |
| [01:09] | The second my feet touch the ground, | 当我双脚占地的一刻开始 |
| [01:11] | This never happened. | 这里的一切都没有发生 |
| [01:14] | Okay. | 好 |
| [01:15] | Wait. | 等等 |
| [01:16] | Right click, save as… | 右键 另存为… |
| [01:18] | Into the .bpeg folder, and okay. | 巴尼私人收藏夹 确定 |
| [01:22] | This never happened. | 这一切从来没有发生过 |
| [01:24] | It’s a good plan. | 好主意 |
| [01:26] | Now we go back to exactly the way things were before. | 现在我们要回到以前正常朋友的身份 |
| [01:30] | Okay. | 好 |
| [01:30] | Okay. | 好 |
| [01:31] | Right. | 不错 |
| [01:32] | So, robin? | 罗宾? |
| [01:34] | Yes, barney? | 什么事 巴尼 |
| [01:36] | Guess who nailed the chick from metro news one last night? | 猜猜昨晚谁上了都市新闻一套的一个小妞 |
| [01:58] | Okay, uh, I am gonna take a shower, | 我要去洗个澡 |
| [02:01] | Till june, and, um, | 洗到六月 |
| [02:03] | Since you were never here to begin with, | 既然本来这一切都没发生过 |
| [02:05] | You won’t be here when I get out. | 我出来的时候你就更不会在了 |
| [02:06] | -Okay. -okay. | -好 -好 |
| [02:08] | This never happened. | 这些从来没有发生 |
| [02:12] | Never happened. | 没有发生 |
| [02:14] | Never… happened. | 没有…发生 |
| [02:16] | But pretending it never happened | 但是装作一切没有发生 |
| [02:18] | Wouldn’t be that easy. | 不是那么简单的 |
| [02:19] | So, tell us, | 告诉我们 |
| [02:20] | What was it like? | 感觉怎么样 |
| [02:21] | What? | 什么 |
| [02:22] | penetrating that barrier. | 冲破那个界限啊 |
| [02:24] | You and I are the first ones to hit it. | 你和我是最先冲破这个界限的人 |
| [02:25] | Well, not the first ones, | 当然 不是最最先的 |
| [02:26] | Certainly, but the first ones at this table. | 不过我们这几个人当中是最先的 |
| [02:28] | I… I… | 我…我… |
| [02:31] | I’m… I’m… | 我…我… |
| [02:33] | Although, I’m gonna be hitting it pretty soon. | 不过 我马上也要冲破这个点了 |
| [02:36] | yeah, you are. | 是啊 你也快了 |
| [02:37] | Yeah, and when I hit it, I’m going to go nuts. | 是啊 等我到了的时候 我一定要玩的特疯狂 |
| [02:40] | It’s gonna be all night, and I think I want a clown there. | 一定要玩通宵 我想我还要找个小丑(被巴尼理解成某种做爱姿势) |
| [02:43] | I’m a little bit scared of clowns, but for you, I’m there. | 我有一点害怕小丑 但是为了你 我肯定去 |
| [02:47] | What are you taking about?! | 你们在说什么呢 |
| [02:49] | The big three-oh. | 重大的”三十而立” |
| [02:50] | You know,My 30th birthday’s this friday. | 这周五是我30岁生日 |
| [02:52] | Did you forget? | 你忘了? |
| [02:52] | What kind of friend is this guy? | 这到底算是什么朋友啊 |
| [02:55] | Ha-ha right. | 哦 想起来 |
| [02:56] | A great friend, by the way. | 顺便说下 是非常好的朋友 |
| [02:58] | The best. | 至交 |
| [03:00] | Is it my imagination, | 是我的错觉 |
| [03:01] | Or are these drinks getting smaller? | 还是这些杯子变小了 |
| [03:02] | If this were a doctor’s office, they’d say, “try again.” | 如果这里是医生办公室的话 他们肯定会说”再试一次” |
| [03:07] | How you doing there, robin? | 你过得怎么样啊 罗宾 |
| [03:09] | -I’m good. -Oh, so, I made a a decision. | -我很好啊 -我做出了一个决定 |
| [03:11] | I’m going to go through all my old stuff, | 我要重新整理一下我以前的东西 |
| [03:13] | And I’m getting rid of anything I have no use for anymore. | 我要把我再也不用的东西都扔掉 |
| [03:16] | Hmm. barney, you want my xbox? | 巴尼 你要我的游戏机带吗(巴尼听成了ex-box) |
| [03:18] | Ted, she has a name! | 泰德 她有自己的名字 |
| [03:20] | And just what are you accusing me of? | 还有你刚刚在暗讽我什么 |
| [03:22] | Liking video games? | 喜欢玩游戏? |
| [03:24] | I’m gonna get a drink. | 我去叫一杯酒 |
| [03:25] | I’ll come with you. | 我跟你一起去 |
| [03:27] | Okay. | 好 |
| [03:28] | God, this is awkward. | 天啊 这太尴尬了 |
| [03:29] | What is? | 尴尬什么啊 |
| [03:30] | Being around ted. | 呆在泰德身边啊 |
| [03:32] | Why? | 为什么 |
| [03:33] | -Because of our thing.-what thing? | -因为我们之间发生的事 -什么事 |
| [03:35] | You’re really gonna pretend this never happened? | 你在我面前也要假装什么事都没发生? |
| [03:37] | What never happened? | 什么没发生 |
| [03:41] | What are you guys talking about? | 你们在谈论什么 |
| [03:43] | Nothing. | 没什么 |
| [03:45] | Guys, cut the act. I know. | 你们别再演了 我知道了 |
| [03:49] | I know about the surprise party you guys are throwing me. | 我知道你们在为我准备的惊喜派对 |
| [03:52] | Marshall let it slip earlier today. | 马修刚才说漏嘴了 |
| [03:55] | Hey, I’ll totally act surprised and everything. | 我会装作很惊喜的 |
| [03:56] | Just be sure to invite stella. | 不过记得一定要邀请丝戴拉 |
| [03:58] | Stella! | 丝戴拉! |
| [03:59] | You have a serious girlfriend now! | 你现在已经认真在交往了 |
| [04:01] | You’re over this one. | 你早就不再喜欢这个了吧 |
| [04:03] | Robin who, right? | 罗宾是哪根葱 是吧 |
| [04:04] | Stella makes this one look | 丝戴拉让我旁边这个 |
| [04:06] | Like a filthy bag of gbabage, am I right? | 就像一袋垃圾 我说的对吧 |
| [04:10] | Happy birthday, bro. | 生日快乐 兄弟 |
| [04:16] | Hello. | 你好 |
| [04:17] | Hey, marshall, I need your help. | 马修 你一定要帮我 |
| [04:20] | Yeah, I’m kind of real focused on the job hunt right now. | 但是我现在正在专心找工作 |
| [04:22] | I know. I want to hire you. | 我知道 所以我想请你 |
| [04:24] | For the last time, barney, I will not be your butler. | 我再跟你讲一遍 巴尼 我不会再做你的仆人 |
| [04:27] | I need a lawyer. | 我需要个律师 |
| [04:29] | I’ll pay you. | 我会付你钱的 |
| [04:31] | How much? | 多少 |
| [04:32] | A little. | 很少 |
| [04:34] | I’ll take it. | 成交 |
| [04:38] | Hey. so, I’m reading this, and, I got to say, | 我在读这个 我必须要说 |
| [04:41] | This might be a little bit over my head. | 我没办法完全理解这个 |
| [04:43] | For one thing, I’m fairly certain | 不过有一件事 我可以相当确定 |
| [04:46] | That if these contracts aren’t executed precisely, | 如果这份合同不精确执行的话 |
| [04:48] | We will be at war with portugal. | 我们会同葡萄牙发起战争 |
| [04:51] | Forget that. | 别管这个了 |
| [04:52] | That’s a tuesday for me. | 对我已经是过去的事了 |
| [04:54] | New shredder. | 新的撕碎机 |
| [04:56] | This baby’ll chew up a bicycle in 17 seconds. | 这个宝贝可以在17秒内毁掉一辆自行车 |
| [05:00] | From sky mall.it’s all from sky mall. | 从天幕数码城买的 这些都是从那儿买的 |
| [05:02] | Whenever I get upset, I shop at sky mall. | 每次我心烦意乱的时候 我就会去天幕数码城买东西 |
| [05:04] | -Want a hot dog? -of course. | -想要个热狗吗 -当然 |
| [05:06] | Why are you upset? | 为什么事情心烦啊 |
| [05:08] | Marshall, I’m about to tell you a secret | 马修 我要告诉你一个秘密 |
| [05:11] | That you can’t tell anyone– not ted, | 你不能告诉任何人 包括泰德 |
| [05:13] | Not robin, not lily. | 包括罗宾 还有莉莉 |
| [05:15] | No. no, no, no, I don’t want any more secrets, | 不 不要 我不想知道任何秘密了 |
| [05:18] | Especially now that I know what you guys did | 特别是现在我知道你们 |
| [05:20] | To the drinking water in lisbon. i… | 对里斯本的饮用水做的手脚(葡萄牙的首都) |
| [05:22] | You are hearing this secret, marshall. | 马修 你一定要知道这个秘密 |
| [05:24] | I… I slept… | 我…我上了… |
| [05:26] | Stop..stop doing that. | 不要…不要这样 |
| [05:29] | I slept… | 我上了… |
| [05:34] | I slept with robin. | 我上了罗宾 |
| [05:36] | You slept with robin? | 你上了罗宾? |
| [05:48] | Are you mad at me? | 你生我的气吗 |
| [05:50] | I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
| [05:52] | How’s the hot dog? | 热狗怎么样 |
| [05:54] | It’s helping. | 让我平静了一点 |
| [05:55] | You slept with robin?! | 你上了罗宾? |
| [05:57] | I… I cannot keep that secret. | 我…我守不住这个秘密 |
| [05:59] | I mean, you know | 我的意思是 |
| [06:00] | I at least have to tell lily. | 至少我会告诉莉莉 |
| [06:01] | You can’t. you can’t tell anyone. | 你不能 你不能告诉任何人 |
| [06:02] | Attorney-client privilege. | 律师和当事人保密特权 |
| [06:04] | Why are you doing this to me?! | 你为什么要这样对我 |
| [06:06] | Because I need you, Marshall, as my lawyer, | 马修 因为我需要你以律师的身份 |
| [06:08] | to prove that I didn’t do anying wrong. | 来证明我没有做错 |
| [06:10] | How can I help you as your lawyer? | 我怎么能以律师的身份帮你呢 |
| [06:12] | You didn’t break any laws, did you? | 你本来就没触犯任何法律 不是吗 |
| [06:15] | Robin knows you slept with her, doesn’t she? | 罗宾知道你和她上床 对吧(如果她不知道 就是违法行为) |
| [06:19] | I didn’t break any state or federal laws, | 我没有触犯任何州或者联邦的法律 |
| [06:21] | but I think I broke a much, much higher law. | 但是我触犯了更加高等的法律 |
| [06:25] | The Bro Code. | 兄弟法典 |
| [06:29] | For many years, | 多少年来 |
| [06:30] | we had heard Barneyquote the Bro Code, | 我们一直听到巴尼引用兄弟法典中 |
| [06:32] | a list of do’s and don’ts for all bros. | 所有兄弟能做的和不能做的 |
| [06:34] | Some were basic. | 有些是很基本的 |
| [06:36] | Bro Code article one:”Bros before hoes. | 兄弟法典第1条 重友轻色 |
| [06:39] | Some were unbelievably complicated. | 有些却超乎想象的复杂 |
| [06:41] | Bro Code article 89: | 兄弟法典第89条 |
| [06:44] | “The mom of a bro is always off limits, | 兄弟的母亲永远不可侵犯 |
| [06:46] | “but the stepmom of a bro is fair game if she initiates it, | 除非是他的继母首先暗送秋波 |
| [06:50] | “and/or is wearing at least one a article | 又或者她身上至少穿着一件 |
| [06:52] | of leopard print clothing.” | 印着豹纹的衣服 |
| [06:54] | And some werejust plain disturbing. | 而有一些则非常烦人 |
| [06:56] | Bro Code article 34: | 兄弟法典第34条 |
| [06:58] | “Bros cannot make eye contact during a devil’s three-way.” | 兄弟之间不可以在三人行中交换眼神 |
| [07:03] | Two dudes. | 两个男宾的那种 |
| [07:06] | This is not a legal docume.. | 这又不是什么法律文件 |
| [07:09] | This is just something you wrote. | 这只是你随便写写的东西而已 |
| [07:10] | You think I wrote that? | 你以为这是我写的? |
| [07:12] | Oh, Marshall, | 马修 |
| [07:14] | don’t you know the glorious history of the Bro Code? | 你不知道兄弟法典的光辉的历史吗 |
| [07:19] | The year was 1776. | 时间是在1776年 |
| [07:21] | The place: Philadelphia. | 地点在费城 |
| [07:23] | Benjamin Franklin and George Washington were hangng a drink. | 本杰明·富兰克林和乔治·华盛顿在一起喝小酒 |
| [07:26] | But, bro, seriously, | 兄弟 说真的 |
| [07:28] | I called the dibs on that wench. | 本来那个女孩我该得手的 |
| [07:30] | You codpiece blocked me. | 但你的档布挡住我了(十五六世纪男子所着紧身裤胯部的布褶) |
| [07:33] | So what if I did? | 挡住你了又怎么样 |
| [07:34] | There’s no rule against it. | 这又不违背任何法律 |
| [07:36] | Well, there should be. | 应该制定一些规则 |
| [07:37] | There should be a set of rules that govern | 应该制定一些规则来规范 |
| [07:39] | the way bros comport themselves among other bros. | 来规范兄弟在其他兄弟面前的行为举止 |
| [07:41] | But who shall write such a document? | 这样的文件应该由谁来写呢 |
| [07:43] | I have to go to Me, D.C.,and pose for the dollar bill. | 我得去华盛顿 为美元上的头像拍照 |
| [07:47] | And I have to do some kite-flying or setething. | 我还得去放个风筝什么的呢 |
| [07:50] | I shall write this set of rules. | 就让我来写这些规则吧 |
| [07:52] | And I shall inscribe it on theacack of the Constitution. | 我会把它们写在宪法的背后 |
| [07:55] | To save paper. | 以便于省纸 |
| [07:57] | It’s resolved! | 就这么决定了 |
| [07:59] | Barney Stinson shall write… | 将由巴尼·斯丁森来撰写… |
| [08:00] | the Bro Code. | 兄弟法典 |
| [08:04] | And I shl l include a provision | 我将会在其中引入一条 |
| [08:05] | that stateth no eye contact in a devil’s three-way. | 规定在三人行中不允许目光接触(特指两男一女) |
| [08:09] | -Seconded. -Seconded. | -附议 -附议 |
| [08:13] | Listen, what do you want me for? | 听着 你要我帮你做什么啊 |
| [08:15] | I’ve just been losing my mind lately, | 我现在思路一片混乱 |
| [08:16] | and do you know why I feel so bad? | 你知道我感觉多糟糕吗 |
| [08:18] | Yeah, because you slept with Robin. | 谁让你和罗宾上床来着 |
| [08:20] | No, that was awesome. | 不是 那个很棒 |
| [08:22] | I feel bad | 我感觉糟糕的是 |
| [08:23] | because the Bro Code clearly states | 因为兄弟法典里明确指出 |
| [08:25] | “No sex with your bro’s ex.” | 兄弟前妻不可欺 |
| [08:27] | But if you, | 但是如果你 |
| [08:29] | my lawyer,can find a loophole somewhere, | 作为我的律师 能从中找出一个漏洞 |
| [08:32] | then that bad feeling will go bye-bye. | 我就能和这糟糕感觉说拜拜了 |
| [08:34] | And you would pay me for that? | 你会为此付给我钱吗 |
| [08:37] | No, I’ll just be the one shredding your paperwork. | 不会 我只是会帮你粉碎文件 |
| [08:39] | Technically, you’ll be paid by a toy factory in Pyongyang. | 理论上说 平壤的一个玩具厂会付给你钱的 |
| [08:42] | Barney, I’m no shrink, okay, | 巴尼 我不是心理医生 |
| [08:44] | but don’t you see that this is just a desperate way for you | 但是你不觉得这是你逃避不敢面对泰德 |
| [08:46] | to avoid an unpleasant confrontation with Ted? | 最绝望的一个方法吗? |
| [08:49] | Hey, if I wanted a psychological evaluation, | 如果我需要心理评估 |
| [08:51] | I’d hire the guy we pay | 我会雇那个我们集团雇佣的 |
| [08:53] | to hint notize us before depositions. | 在录取证言前向我们告密的那个人 |
| [08:54] | Now, get cracking! | 赶快去挑漏洞吧 |
| [08:56] | While Marshall examined the Bro Code, | 当马修研究兄弟法典的时候 |
| [08:58] | Lily’s kindergarten class welcomed a special guest. | 莉莉在幼儿园课堂上迎来一位特别嘉宾 |
| [09:00] | And with a little luck, in a few days, | 运气好的话 用不了几天 |
| [09:03] | Farmer Frank’s cold will be all gone. | 弗兰克农夫的感冒就会痊愈 |
| [09:05] | And that’s why Farmer Frank’s breath smells like medicine. | 这也是为什么弗兰克农夫闻着像药水 |
| [09:09] | Right, Farmer Frank? | 我说的对吧 弗兰克农夫 |
| [09:11] | You got it, toots. | 被你说中了 宝贝 |
| [09:12] | Any last questions for Farmer Frank? Yes. | 最后一个问弗兰克农夫的问题 你问吧 |
| [09:15] | Will we ever go to see Missy the Goat again? | 我们还能见到这位山羊小姐吗 |
| [09:18] | Oh! Ah, isn’t that sweet! | 这真是太窝心了 |
| [09:20] | Well, you know, honey, | 知道吗 宝贝 |
| [09:21] | right after this, | 下课后 |
| [09:23] | I’m gonna drop old Missy off at the butcher shop. | 我就把她带到屠宰商店 |
| [09:25] | And they’re going to take | 他们就会用 |
| [09:26] | a great big knife… | 一把长长的刀子 |
| [09:28] | And Frank went on to traumatize Lily’s entire class | 弗兰克对肉的来历形象的解释 |
| [09:31] | with a graphic explanation of where meat comes from.. | 给莉莉的整个班都留下了心灵的阴影… |
| [09:33] | So not one little scrap of Missy goes to waste. | 所以米西身上没有一小块肉会被浪费掉 |
| [09:37] | Ms. Aldrin, please don’t let emem eat Missy. | 艾德林女士 请不要让他们把山羊小姐吃掉 |
| [09:49] | I know, I know. | 我知道 我知道 |
| [09:51] | I already called an animal rescue, | 我已经打电话给动物援救中心了 |
| [09:53] | and they’re going to come get her on Monday. | 他们下周一就来接它 |
| [09:55] | Monday?! Where’s she going to sleep and eat | 周一? 它要在哪吃饭睡觉啊 |
| [09:58] | and go to the bathroom?! | 去哪上厕所啊 |
| [10:01] | Okay, where’s she going to sleep and eat? | 好吧 她要在哪吃饭睡觉啊 |
| [10:05] | I-I guess I’ll keep her up on the roof. | 我想可以把她养在房顶上 |
| [10:07] | Look, call me crazy. I just… | 说我脑子有问题也好 |
| [10:09] | I don’t think having a goat in the apartment is a good idea. | 我始终不认为在屋子里可以养羊 |
| [10:12] | And, boy, was I right,because what Missy the Goat | 孩子们 我是对的 因为山羊小姐 |
| [10:14] | would go on to do in that bathroom was so… | 将会在厕所里做出让人… |
| [10:17] | No, you know what? | 知道吗 |
| [10:18] | I’m m getting ahead of myself. | 我说的有点超前了 |
| [10:20] | We’ll get there. | 一会儿会讲到这里的 |
| [10:22] | Hey, Ted. | 嗨 泰德 |
| [10:25] | You ready to, um… | 你准备好去… |
| [10:26] | Where’d the goat turd come from? | 地上哪来的羊粪 |
| [10:27] | How’d you know that was a goat turd? | 你怎么知道那是羊粪 |
| [10:29] | Well, it was either that, | 那东西要不就是羊粪 |
| [10:31] | or a musk ox turd, | 要不就是麝牛的粪便 |
| [10:33] | and I figured,what the hell would a musk ox be doing in here? | 我想这怎么会有麝牛的粪便呢 |
| [10:35] | Hey. Guess what your wife brought home. | 猜猜你老婆带什么回来了 |
| [10:38] | Attorney-client privilege.I can’t talk about it. | 律师和当事人保密特权 我什么都不能说 |
| [10:40] | Talk about what? | 说什么 |
| [10:41] | Nothing. | 没什么 |
| [10:43] | How was your day? | 你今天过的怎么样 |
| [10:44] | Oh, goat turd on the floor,I see. Is that new? | 地上有羊粪 是热乎的吗 |
| [10:49] | How does everyone know that’s a goat turd? | 怎么所有人都知道那是羊粪啊 |
| [10:54] | -Barney told you. -I don’t know what you’re talking about,madam. | -巴尼告诉你了 -我不知道你在说什么 女士 |
| [10:56] | Marshall, | 马修 |
| [10:58] | you can’t look me in the eye, you’re blushing, | 你都不敢直视我 还满脸通红 |
| [11:00] | coughing, | 不停咳嗽 |
| [11:01] | and your hands are shaking. | 手还在不停的抖 |
| [11:02] | come here. | 过来一下 |
| [11:04] | Ted is never finding out about this, you understand? | 泰德永远也不会发现这事儿的 你明白吗 |
| [11:07] | Because it never happened, none of us are saying anything. | 因为根本就没发生过 我们什么也没说过 |
| [11:10] | And don’t even think about opening that can | 还有在我没离开被溅的范围内 |
| [11:12] | until I’m out of the splash zone. | 别想打开这个易拉罐 |
| [11:28] | fantastic, you’re here. | 太好了 你来了 |
| [11:29] | Give me the good news. | 带好消息来了 |
| [11:31] | I’m sorry. | 很抱歉 |
| [11:32] | You did too good of a job writing this thing. | 你这个写的太好了 |
| [11:34] | It’s-it’s iron-clad. | 它 它简直无懈可击 |
| [11:35] | No! | 不! |
| [11:37] | Bad lawyer! | 烂律师! |
| [11:38] | I need a loophole! | 我需要一个漏洞! |
| [11:40] | I want to feel better, Marshall! | 我希望能好过点 马修! |
| [11:42] | I can’t keep buying things! | 我不能一直不停的买东西! |
| [11:44] | I have six self-cleaning litterboxes | 我已经买了6个垃圾自动清洁器 |
| [11:46] | and I don’t even have a kid. | 但我连一个孩子也没有 |
| [11:48] | Wait. How about this? | 对了 这样怎么样 |
| [11:50] | Ted’s probably broken this thing himself, right? | 泰德自己也许违反了里面的条约 对吧 |
| [11:52] | And if he’s broken the Bro Code, | 如果他违反了兄弟条约 |
| [11:54] | then I’m off the hook. | 那我就没有责任了 |
| [11:55] | I thought about that. | 我也这样想过 |
| [11:56] | And I gotta say, | 但我发现 |
| [11:58] | Ted has upheld this thing time and time again. | 泰德把里面的理论反复的付诸实践 |
| [12:01] | For example, article 87: | 举个例子来说 第87条 |
| [12:02] | “A bro shall at all times say yes.” | 兄弟在任何时候都要说”是” |
| [12:06] | So he saved you from an avalanche? | 所以他从雪崩里把你救出来? |
| [12:09] | Yes. | 是的 |
| [12:10] | And he carried you six miles to safety on his broken leg? | 他还拖着受伤的腿背了你六英里直到安全地? |
| [12:14] | Yes. | 是的 |
| [12:15] | And you’re a pre-op transsexual nightclub singer | 你是个即将变性的酒吧歌手 |
| [12:18] | who used to be a member of the Russian mob? | 还曾是俄国暴徒的一员? |
| [12:24] | Da. | 是的(俄语的”是”) |
| [12:26] | Article 29 | 第29条 |
| [12:28] | “A bro will in a timely manner alert his bro | 在看到女人打架的时候 |
| [12:31] | to the existence of a girl fight.” | 要马上通知兄弟 |
| [12:32] | Dude, two girls are fighting at MacLaren’s. | 哥们 两个女的正在麦克莱伦打架呢 |
| [12:35] | What?! | 什么?! |
| [12:40] | Yeah, yeah. | 就是这样 |
| [12:41] | It was crazy. This one girl was like… | 疯狂极了 其中一个女的就好像是… |
| [12:43] | Oh, hey. | 嗨 |
| [12:46] | Article 53: | 第53条 |
| [12:47] | “A bro will, whenever possible, | 任何情况下 只要有可能 兄弟必须 |
| [12:50] | provide his bro with protection.” | 保护他的兄弟远离”意外”(泰德给他的是安全套) |
| [12:52] | That feels nice. | 这样感觉很好 |
| [12:54] | Good. | 那就好 |
| [13:02] | I just wish we had some wine. | 我只是希望能再来点小酒 |
| [13:04] | Yeah. | 是吗 |
| [13:05] | I wish we had some wine, too. | 我也希望能来点小酒 |
| [13:13] | damn it, Marshall. | 见鬼 马修 |
| [13:15] | I’m not paying you to tell me what a saint Ted is! | 我不是付钱给你让你告诉我泰德是个圣人! |
| [13:17] | You’re my lawyer! | 你是我的律师! |
| [13:17] | The answer is in there! Find it! | 答案就在里面! 给我找出来! |
| [13:20] | Okay, this isn’t about the Bro Code, and you know it. | 这跟本就不是兄弟条法典的事 你也明白 |
| [13:22] | The reason that you’re upset is because what you did was wrong. | 你之所以感到难受是因为你知道自己的所作所为是错的 |
| [13:25] | And the only way you’re ever gonna feel | 能让你感到好过点的唯一途径 |
| [13:26] | any better about it is if you tell Ted what you did. | 就是告诉泰德你做过些什么 |
| [13:29] | What if he never wants to talk to me again? | 如果他再也不想理我了怎么办 |
| [13:31] | Well, I guess that’s just a chance | 我想 只要还有一丝机会 |
| [13:33] | you’re gonna have to take. | 你也应该去试一试 |
| [13:35] | Which brings us to April 25, 2008. | 于是就到了2008年4月25号 |
| [13:38] | My 30th birthday, | 我的30岁生日 |
| [13:40] | or as it would come to be referred to in later years: | 又或者是像后来称道的那样 |
| [13:43] | The Day of the Goat. | 山羊之日 |
| [13:44] | Hey, where are you? | 嗨 你在哪呢 |
| [13:46] | I’m in the limo, right outside ofeded’s office. | 我在泰德办公楼外的车里 |
| [13:47] | Great. Well, everyone’s here. | 太好了 人都到齐了 |
| [13:49] | Stella just arrived | 丝戴拉也来了 |
| [13:50] | and there is something here so awesome, | 而且这还发生了超级精彩的事儿 |
| [13:52] | I’m not going to tell you what it is, but you won’t believe… | 我不会告诉你是什么事儿 你绝对不会相信的… |
| [13:55] | Goat in a party hat? | 山羊也戴了派对帽? |
| [13:56] | Damn it! | 见鬼! |
| [13:57] | Well, you still gotta see it. | 但你还是需要亲眼看到 |
| [14:00] | It’s so much fun having a goat at a party! | 在派对上有只山羊实在太有趣了 |
| [14:02] | In a few short hours, | 在几个小时之后 |
| [14:04] | Lily would come to regret those words. | 莉莉会后悔说了这些话的 |
| [14:06] | But we’ll get there. | 我们稍后会说到的 |
| [14:08] | Uh, gotta go. Here he comes. | 挂了哦 他来了 |
| [14:10] | Okay. Bye. | 好的 再见 |
| [14:12] | Whoa, you guys went all out. | 哇噢 你们都准备好了 |
| [14:15] | Okay, everyone, Ted’s in the limo, five-minute warning! | 朋友们 泰德已经在车上了 五分钟后到! |
| [14:17] | Everyone get ready! | 大家准备好! |
| [14:18] | Oh, Missy, are you excit?? | 小妞 你兴不兴奋啊 |
| [14:23] | Yes, you are! | 你当然兴奋了! |
| [14:27] | Whoa, we’re leaving the city. | 我们怎么往出城的方向走 |
| [14:28] | Where the hell is this party? | 这派对在哪儿呢 |
| [14:29] | Vegas. | 拉斯维加斯 |
| [14:38] | Vegas? I thought the party was on the rooftop. | 拉斯维加斯? 我以为派对在公寓顶楼呢 |
| [14:40] | Surprise! | 惊喜吧! |
| [14:41] | Just a decoy, my friend. | 只是个幌子 朋友 |
| [14:43] | So there’s no roof party? | 那顶楼没有派对咯 |
| [14:44] | Oh, no. There is. We’re just not going. | 不 那儿有派对 只是我们不去罢了 |
| [14:45] | This is how good a friend I am. | 看出来我是个多棒的朋友了吧 |
| [14:47] | They want you to spent your 30th standing around | 他们想让你的30岁生日在高于你客厅10英尺的地方 |
| [14:50] | drinking flat beer ten feet above your living room. | 喝着普通啤酒度过 |
| [14:52] | But not me, bro. | 但我不会那样的 哥们 |
| [14:53] | I pulled out all the stops. | 我可是用尽心思 |
| [14:55] | Private jet, Valderrama suite at the Bellagio. | 乘着私人飞机 住在美丽湖酒店的瓦德拉马套房 |
| [14:58] | Steaks at BOA, | 吃着宝瓦的牛排(拉斯维加斯著名的牛排餐厅) |
| [15:00] | scotch at Ghostbar, then two ringside seats | 喝着鬼吧的威士忌(拉斯维加斯著名夜总会) |
| [15:04] | to watch Floyd Mayatather go ten rounds with, | 然后我们坐在两个近台区的座位看梅威瑟打上十轮(黑人拳击冠军) |
| [15:06] | wait for it… | 他的对手是 等一下 |
| [15:07] | a grizzly bear! | 一只灰熊! |
| [15:08] | Take me home, Barney. | 送我回家 巴尼 |
| [15:11] | No! | 不! |
| [15:12] | We have to go to Vegas. | 我们得去拉斯维加斯! |
| [15:15] | Look, Ted, I didn’t want to say this, but… | 听着 泰德 我不想说这个 但是… |
| [15:18] | there’s something that I have to tell you, | 有些事我得告诉你 |
| [15:19] | and I wanted you to be | 我希望你能在 |
| [15:21] | in the best possible frame of mind before you heard it. | 感觉最好的时候听到这事 |
| [15:23] | You slept with Robin. | 你把罗宾给上了 |
| [15:28] | Ranjit! | 兰吉特! |
| [15:29] | You slept with Robin? | 你把罗宾给上了? |
| [15:30] | Barney! That is Ted’s ex-girlfriend! | 巴尼! 那可是泰德的前女友啊! |
| [15:40] | When did you find out? | 你什么时候知道的 |
| [15:43] | Hey, Robin. Come here! | 罗宾 过来一下! |
| [15:45] | What’s up? | 怎么了 |
| [15:46] | I was, uh, just going through some old stuff | 我在整理一些旧东西 |
| [15:49] | -and I… -Oh, crap! | -然后我… -妈的! |
| [15:54] | Anyway, uh, | 无论如何 |
| [15:55] | I came across this. | 我找到这个 |
| [15:59] | -From my vacacation in Vermont. -Yeah. | -是我在佛蒙特州渡假时照片 -是啊 |
| [16:00] | I don’t know if you’d even want it, but if you do, it’s yours. | 我不知道你想不想要回去 但如果你想要就拿去吧 |
| [16:02] | I slept with Barney! | 我和巴尼上床了! |
| [16:04] | What? | 什么 |
| [16:05] | It was just one time, | 就一次 |
| [16:07] | it, it was the night that Simon dumped me | 就在西蒙又把我甩了的那天晚上 |
| [16:09] | and I was in a really vulnerable place | 我心里觉得很受伤 |
| [16:11] | and I, I wand d to just pretend like it never happened, | 我想假装得就跟没发生过一样 |
| [16:14] | but I couldn’t, and… | 但是我真的做不到… |
| [16:16] | I can’t. | 我做不到 |
| [16:18] | I just, I had to tell you. | 我 我就想告诉你一声 |
| [16:21] | And… | 还有… |
| [16:23] | I just hope that we can still be friends. | 我希望我们还是朋友 |
| [16:25] | Of course we can still be friends. | 我们当然是朋友啦 |
| [16:28] | So you’re not mad? | 你不生气吗 |
| [16:30] | Well, I’m… | 呃 我… |
| [16:32] | it’s a little weird, but, um, | 是觉得有点怪异 但是… |
| [16:34] | No, I’m not mad. | 没有 我没生气 |
| [16:42] | So you’re not mad? | 你真的不生气吗 |
| [16:42] | No, I’m not mad. | 真的不生气 |
| [16:45] | I mean, Robin and I broke up a year ago. | 我和罗宾一年前就分手了 |
| [16:47] | We’ve, we’ve both dated lots of people since then. | 在那之后 我们彼此也跟过不少的人约会 |
| [16:49] | I’m with Stella now. | 而且我现在已经和丝戴拉一起了 |
| [16:52] | Seriously, I…I’m fine with this. | 说真的 我…我一点都不介意 |
| [16:55] | I’m so relieved to hear you say that. | 听到你这么说 真让我松一口气啊 |
| [16:57] | Yeah. Yeah. | 那就好 |
| [16:58] | Oh, hey, I just remembered, um, | 对了 我刚想起来 |
| [17:00] | my mom is coming into town next month. | 我妈妈下个月会过来 |
| [17:02] | Maybe you’d like to nail her, too! | 你不会把她也上了吧! |
| [17:05] | Where are they?! I’m getting a cramp. | 他们在哪里 我腿都快抽筋了 |
| [17:07] | Marshall, can we keep the goat? | 马修 我们能把这只羊留下吗 |
| [17:10] | No. | 不行 |
| [17:12] | -But she’s so cute and furry and soft. -Yeah, | -但是它真的可爱 毛茸茸的摸着很舒服 -的确 |
| [17:14] | and she also sheds, eats out of the garbage | 它还会掉毛呢 会跑到外面吃垃圾 |
| [17:15] | and can’t control her bobowels. | 而且随地大小便 |
| [17:17] | Why don’t we just call Duluth Mental Hospital | 我们还不如直接打电话去德卢斯精神病院 |
| [17:18] | and say my Uncle Linus can live with us? | 跟他们说要把莱纳斯舅舅接过来跟咱们一起住 |
| [17:20] | Yeah, Lily, that may seem like a good idea | 恩 莉莉 你有这个想法纯粹是喝多了 |
| [17:22] | after a couple of drinks but tomorrow morning | 等明天早上你醒过来的时候 |
| [17:24] | you’re going to want this thing out of your house. | 你就会希望这个东西立马滚出你的房子 |
| [17:26] | Oh, you should talk.You slept with Barney. | 你没资格说话 你居然跟巴尼睡了 |
| [17:28] | Marshall! | 马修! |
| [17:29] | I’m sorry! | 抱歉 |
| [17:30] | I couldn’t take it anymore. | 我不能再隐瞒下去了 |
| [17:31] | I can’t believe you did that. | 我真不敢相信你会这么做 |
| [17:33] | That’s so gross. | 真是太低级了 |
| [17:34] | Was it amazing? | 感觉很棒吧 |
| [17:36] | What? I… | 什么 我… |
| [17:38] | Lily, I really don’t want to talk about this. | 莉莉 我不想再提起这件事 |
| [17:40] | I know but it’s Barney. | 我知道 但是对象可是巴尼啊 |
| [17:42] | It’s just hard not to be curious. | 想让人不好奇都很难 |
| [17:45] | Did he have like devices and stuff? | 他有玩什么花样吗 |
| [17:47] | Lily,come on. | 莉莉 拜托 |
| [17:48] | -Hot wax? -Stop it. | -有滴蜡吗 -别说了 |
| [17:50] | Did he tie you to anything? | 他有把你绑起来吗 |
| [17:51] | -That’s enough. -What’s wrong with you? | -够了 -你想什么呢 |
| [17:52] | I’m sorry. | 抱歉 抱歉 |
| [17:57] | Is he all smooth down there? | 难道他就这么哧溜滑进去了? |
| [18:01] | Three billion women on the planet! | 地球上有30亿女人! |
| [18:03] | Three billion! | 30亿啊! |
| [18:05] | And you have to sleep with the one that I dated for a year! | 你却偏偏上那个跟我好过一年的女人! |
| [18:07] | Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me?! | 你在耍我吗 说 你是在耍我吗 |
| [18:10] | Robin?! | 居然是罗宾? |
| [18:10] | You think I’m proud of this?! | 你觉得我对此感到自豪吗 |
| [18:12] | I’m horrified that this happened. | 发生了这件事 我觉得很后怕 |
| [18:14] | How did it happen? Huh? | 到底怎么发生的 |
| [18:15] | Barney, I want to know. | 巴尼 我想知道是怎么发生的 |
| [18:16] | Tell me exactly how it happened. | 全部告诉我 每一个细节都要说 |
| [18:19] | You mean… | 你是说… |
| [18:20] | what position? | 我们用了什么姿势 |
| [18:23] | Okay. | 好了 |
| [18:23] | Stop it! | 停下来! |
| [18:24] | Stop it! | 快停下来! |
| [18:25] | Stop it. | 别闹了 |
| [18:26] | -Hit him! Hit him, -Ted! Stop! | -揍他 使劲揍他! -泰德 别闹了! |
| [18:28] | -Hit him! -Stop! | -揍他! -别打了! |
| [18:29] | -Hit him! -Okay. | -揍他啊! -够了 |
| [18:30] | Okay. Okay. | 够了 够了 |
| [18:31] | You’re pissed. | 你都气疯了 |
| [18:33] | You deserve to be. | 就知道你会这样 |
| [18:34] | Fine. You know what? | 好了 告诉你 |
| [18:35] | One free shot. On me. | 你可以随便揍我 就一拳 |
| [18:37] | Anywhere but the face. | 除了脸哪都行 |
| [18:43] | Who punches someone in the groin? | 谁会往别人那里揍一拳啊 |
| [18:49] | Okay.Okay. | 好了 好了 |
| [18:50] | I deserved that. | 是我活该 |
| [18:51] | I deserved that. | 是我罪有应得 |
| [18:53] | But what’s important now is… | 但现在重要的是… |
| [18:55] | we’re passed this whole Robin thing now, right? | 关于罗宾这件事 我们算是彻底谈妥了 |
| [18:59] | You think that this is just about Robin? | 你认为就只是关于罗宾而已? |
| [19:01] | This is about… | 这是关于… |
| [19:04] | You know, I’ve seen you do some bad stuff. | 我见过你干了很多坏事 |
| [19:06] | I mean some really terrible stuff | 我是说 对很多不同的人 |
| [19:08] | to a lot of different people. | 你做了一些超级可恶的事情 |
| [19:10] | I just always thought there had to be a limit. | 我以前总是觉得这些荒唐的行为是有底限的 |
| [19:12] | I always thought I was the limit. | 我总觉得自己就是底限 |
| [19:14] | You’re always spouting off these rules for bros. | 你总是对着自己的兄弟滔滔不觉地传输你那些规则 |
| [19:18] | Isn’t one of them, “don’t do this”? | 有没有一条规则是–“不要这么做”的 |
| [19:21] | Yeah. And I broke it. | 有啊 但是我把它毁了 |
| [19:23] | I’m sorry. | 我很抱歉 |
| [19:26] | But, Ted… | 但是 泰德 |
| [19:29] | …seriously, this suite at the Bellagio… | 说真的 在美丽湖酒店的那套房… |
| [19:31] | I am not going to Vegas with you! | 我是不会跟你去拉斯维加斯的! |
| [19:33] | I’m not going to blow off my friends | 我不会丢下我的朋友 |
| [19:35] | and my girlfriend, | 和我的女朋友 |
| [19:36] | and spend my 30th birthday in a strip club. | 在一家脱衣舞夜总会过的30岁生日 |
| [19:39] | The fact that you think I would… | 我知道你觉得我会去的 但是… |
| [19:42] | You know, Barney,earlier this week | 你知道吗 巴尼 前些天 |
| [19:44] | I started putting things in a box | 我开始把东西收拾进一个箱子 |
| [19:46] | and that box was labeled “stuff I have no use for anymore.” | 那个箱子上标着–“对我来说没用的东西” |
| [19:49] | What does that mean? | 这话是什么意思 |
| [19:51] | It means… | 就是说… |
| [19:53] | maybe you belong in that box. | 或许你应该归类到那个箱子里 |
| [19:57] | Are you saying you dnon’t want to be bros anymore? | 你是说我们再也不是兄弟了吗 |
| [19:59] | I’m saying I don’t want to be friends anymore. | 我是说我们再也不是朋友了 |
| [20:04] | Okay, I’m going to stop you right there, | 够了 我不能再让你说下去了 |
| [20:06] | because it seems like you’re about to say something | 因为感觉上你将要说的话 |
| [20:09] | that’s going to pretty much ruin Vegas. | 很可能会毁了我们的维加斯之旅的 |
| [20:11] | Ranjit, stop the car. | 兰吉特 停车 |
| [20:14] | I’m getting a cab. | 我去坐计程车 |
| [20:52] | Surprise! | 惊喜吧! |
| [21:02] | Oh, right, the goat. | 对了 那只羊 |
| [21:04] | So funny.You’re going to love this. | 特别好玩 你们肯定会喜欢我要说的一切的 |
| [21:05] | So later in that night, the goat locked himself in the bathroom | 当天晚上 那只羊把自己关在浴室 |
| [21:08] | and was eating oneof Robin’s washcloths and | 嘴里嚼着罗宾的某条毛巾 |
| [21:10] | wait, hold on. | 等等 |
| [21:12] | Robin wasn’t living here on my 30th birthday. | 罗宾在我30岁生日那天没住在我家啊 |
| [21:14] | When did this happen? | 那是什么时候的事 |
| [21:15] | Oh, wait, the goat was there on my 31st birthday. | 慢着 那只羊是在我31岁生日的时候出现的 |
| [21:19] | Sorry,I totally got that wrong. | 抱歉 我全给记错了 |