| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:00] | Now kids, | 孩子们 |
| [00:00] | the spring of 2008 was complicated time in you old man’s life. | 2008年的春天对你们爸爸我来说有点小复杂 |
| [00:05] | The last time I had seen Barney | 在我发现巴尼和罗宾睡过之后 |
| [00:07] | was shortly after I found out he has spent night with Robbin. | 我就再也没有见过他 |
| [00:10] | Are you saying you don’t wanna be bros anymore? | 你不想再做兄弟了吗 |
| [00:13] | I’m saying I don’t wanna be friends anymore. | 我觉得 连朋友都不要做了 |
| [00:17] | It’s Barney. | 巴尼的电话 |
| [00:20] | Dude, seriously you need to stop calling me. | 伙计 你真的不要再给我打电话了 |
| [00:23] | Ted I’m sorry, I haven’t returned your calls. | 泰德啊 对不起我没有回你的电话 |
| [00:25] | Yeah I never called you, | 我没有打过你的电话 |
| [00:27] | you called me fifteen times and my parents twice. | 但是你打给我十五次还有我父母那两次 |
| [00:30] | I’m sorry, I gotta let you go. | 对不起 我不得不放手 |
| [00:33] | It’s just too many good wingmen out there. | 除了你之外还有很多很好男伴(协助泡妞的托儿) |
| [00:37] | Ted, are you crying? | 泰德 你在哭吗 |
| [00:39] | No, I am not. | 我没有 |
| [00:40] | Sh….let it out, let it out. | 男人哭吧哭吧不是罪 |
| [00:43] | Goodbye Barney. | 巴尼 拜拜 |
| [00:44] | -So are you two back together? -No. | -你们俩和好了? -没有 |
| [00:48] | I miss Barney. | 我很想巴尼呢 |
| [00:50] | I haven’t “high five” with anyone like a week. | 我好像有一周没和他击掌了 |
| [00:52] | I think I might be starting to lose my fist bone careless. | 我感觉我手上的钙在慢慢流失 |
| [00:56] | Let me asking you something Ted. | 泰德 我有个问题 |
| [00:58] | Why are you so much madder at Barney than me. | 为什么你更生巴尼的气呢 |
| [01:00] | Yeah, She had just as much sex with barney | 就是啊 她和巴尼做的爱 |
| [01:02] | as barney had with her. | 和巴尼与她做的爱一样多 |
| [01:04] | You know what? I’m not sure that’s true. | 我觉得好像不是一样多 |
| [01:08] | I think I actually prefered if you are mad at me. | 我倒宁愿你也生我的气 |
| [01:10] | This is too wierd. | 不然感觉很怪 |
| [01:12] | I’m not mad at anybody. I’ve forgiven you. | 我没有生谁的气 我原谅你了 |
| [01:15] | And I’ve outgrown Barney as a friend. That’s simple. | 而巴尼不适合做我的朋友了 就这么简单 |
| [01:17] | I will tell you why he is not mad. | 我告诉你们为什么他不生气吧 |
| [01:19] | Because he is so happy with stella. | 因为他和丝戴拉在一起很开心 |
| [01:21] | She was right. | 她说得对 |
| [01:22] | Stella and I had been dating for two months. | 丝戴拉和我约会两个月了 |
| [01:25] | And things were going really well. | 我们相处的特别好 |
| [01:27] | She had mat my friends in past for flying colors. | 她也成功的认识了我的朋友们 |
| [01:30] | There was just one little problem. | 只是还有一个小问题 |
| [01:32] | You guys haven’t had sex yet?! | 你们还没有做爱过? |
| [01:34] | When marshall and I were two months. | 马修和我两个月的时候 |
| [01:36] | We were doing it 24/7. | 我们是日夜不停的做呀 |
| [01:38] | I know. I was in the top bunk. | 我知道 我当时就在上铺 |
| [01:41] | Also sat next to you at football games. | 而且足球比赛的时候就坐在你们旁边 |
| [01:44] | So what you guys waiting for? | 你们在等什么呢 |
| [01:45] | I… She wants to make sure we are serious first, | 她希望我们可以确定关系 |
| [01:47] | that’s why she hasn’t introduced me to her daughter either. | 所以她还没有让我见见她的女儿 |
| [01:49] | She wants to take things slow. | 她喜欢慢慢来 |
| [01:51] | Wait, So you haven’t had sex since like Thanks Giving. | 也就是说 感恩节后你就没有做爱过了 |
| [01:56] | Do you know how many big federal holidays | 你知道那之后你虚度了 |
| [01:59] | have come and gone since then. | 多少联邦公众节日吗 |
| [02:01] | Oh, baby, Do you remember Martin Luther King Day | 亲爱的 你记得马丁路德金纪念日吗 |
| [02:04] | Yeah, I do. We ode that dude big time. | 是啊 我记得 那天我们好好的歌颂了一下他 |
| [02:08] | Look, I’m crazy about this girl, if waiting is what it takes, | 我觉得无论让我等多久 我都愿意 |
| [02:11] | I’m fine with that. | 因为我为这个女人而疯狂 |
| [02:13] | And totally unrelated note. | 另外说个题外话 |
| [02:15] | Does anybody have gamma icer | 你们有没有冷却剂 |
| [02:16] | or a piece of bark that you are not chewing. | 或者你们没用过的自慰器啊(泰德欲火难消) |
| [02:25] | Hey Barney, new sky mall came in. | 巴尼 天幕数码城的新广告来了 |
| [02:28] | So Worldaround blog’s fear is | 我看你的博客 |
| [02:31] | you are looking for a new wingman. | 知道你需要一个新的男伴 |
| [02:33] | I wanna let you know, I am available. | 我想让你知道 我随时候命 |
| [02:35] | Just say the word, or don’t even say the word. | 你只要说一句就可以了 或者不说也行 |
| [02:38] | Just do something with your eyebrow. | 眉毛示意一下我就好 |
| [02:43] | Was that it? | 刚才那是不是在示意我? |
| [02:46] | No offence Randy, | 无意冒犯你 兰迪 |
| [02:47] | but there is long list of candidates for this slot. | 但是这个位置还有很多候选人 |
| [02:50] | The slot is vice president of awosome. | 这个空缺是”超级牛人”军团的副主席 |
| [02:53] | And you are like assistant under secretary of only ok. | 你只是”超级平凡人”小组的一个小秘书的助手而已 |
| [02:58] | Assistant under secretary of only ok | “超级平凡人”小组的一个小秘书的助手 |
| [03:02] | Thank you, I will not let you down. | 谢谢你 我不会让你失望的 |
| [03:04] | So uncle Barney began to search for a new wingman. | 所以你们的巴尼叔叔开始寻找新的男伴 |
| [03:07] | -Pitt, Barney Stinson. -Hey | -皮特 我是巴尼·斯丁森 -你好 |
| [03:09] | I haven’t been calling you, It has been a while. | 我很久没有跟你打电话了 |
| [03:11] | Yeah yeah, so listen, | 是啊 听着 |
| [03:13] | you should meet me in mclaren tonight. | 我们今晚去迈凯轮酒吧聚聚吧 |
| [03:14] | You never gonna believe this. I’m at the hospital. | 你肯定会大吃一惊的 我在医院呢 |
| [03:17] | Just had a baby daughter. | 我有一个女儿了 |
| [03:20] | So What do you think? 9:30 or 10 o’clock. | 那你有空吗 晚上九点半还是十点? |
| [03:25] | Starry Porten, Barney stinson. | 斯德利·波坦 我是巴尼·斯丁森 |
| [03:27] | What up, chef. | 最近怎么样 老大 |
| [03:28] | I need a new bro, what do you say? | 我需要一个新的兄弟 你要入伙吗 |
| [03:31] | Dude, I’d love to, But now I’m bro with Duck Stan. | 我也想啊 但是我现在是公鸭斯坦的兄弟 |
| [03:35] | Oh, I understand. | 我明白了 |
| [03:38] | Duck Stan is a good bro. | 公鸭斯坦是个好兄弟 |
| [03:41] | I’m happy for you. Best of luck. | 真为你感到高兴 祝你好运 |
| [03:44] | Crazy Willie. Barney Stinson. | 疯子威利 我是巴尼·斯丁森 |
| [03:47] | What up B dog, long time no bro, | 你这条小公狗最近怎么样啊 好久没见 |
| [03:50] | so are we gonna tire it up tonight or what? | 我们今晚是不是要出去玩玩啊 |
| [03:52] | Yes Finally. | 是的 终于找到你了 |
| [03:53] | Here is what on the rocket tocket. | 这样安排吧 |
| [03:55] | My wife is gonna put cheese out at seven. | 我老婆七点钟会把奶酪放在外面 |
| [03:58] | 9pm we watch 27 dresses. | 九点我们看”新娘靠边闪” |
| [04:01] | Everybody is home by 11:00. Booya. | 十一点就都回家 你丫说呢 |
| [04:08] | -Hello -Hanging up on you once wasn’t enough. | -你好 -挂一次你的电话不解气 |
| [04:13] | So I lanced this thing on this guy’s back, | 然后我就把那家伙背上的东西刺破了 |
| [04:15] | and I’ll be honest with you, I didn’t even know what it was, | 说实话 我都不知道那是什么东西 |
| [04:18] | and then it exploded like a volcano. | 它就像火山一样爆发了 |
| [04:20] | Pus everywhere. | 喷得到处都是脓 |
| [04:21] | Let’s have sex. | 我们做爱吧 |
| [04:23] | Right now.I’ll lock the door. | 就现在 我来锁门 |
| [04:24] | Oh, there’s no lock on that door. | 门上没有装锁 |
| [04:26] | We can do it against the door.It’ll be hot! | 那我们可以靠着门做爱 这样更爽! |
| [04:28] | It’ll be like a three-way: you, me, and the door. | 就好像是3P 你 我 还有门 |
| [04:31] | Yeah, but then it’s just gonna be weird | 话是这样说 但是明天 |
| [04:33] | between me and the door tomorrow. | 我跟门见面 会不会有点尴尬? |
| [04:36] | I’m sorry. | 我错了 |
| [04:37] | We’re waiting. It’s cool. | 我们继续等 没事的 |
| [04:40] | You’ve been so patient, Ted. | 泰德 谢谢你表现出了如此大的耐心 |
| [04:43] | The truth is… | 实际上 |
| [04:45] | I’m kind of nervous. | 我很紧张 |
| [04:46] | I have a confession to make. | 我有些事要告诉你 |
| [04:47] | I was afraid of this. | 我怕的就是这个 |
| [04:48] | You’re 14. | 你才十四岁 |
| [04:52] | No, um… | 不是这样的 |
| [04:54] | It’s kind of embarrassing,but it’s been a while | 说起来有点不好意思 |
| [04:57] | since I was intimate with anyone. | 我已经很长时间没有与别人亲密接触过了 |
| [04:59] | Wow, it’s funny that you say that. | 你这样说真是太巧了 |
| [05:02] | Me, too. | 我和你一样 |
| [05:03] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [05:05] | How long’s it been for you? | 你多久没有和别人亲密接触过了 |
| [05:07] | It’s been a while. | 很长一段时间了 |
| [05:09] | Tell me. | 告诉我 |
| [05:13] | Me, too! | 我也是! |
| [05:15] | It’s been five months for you, too? | 你也是五个月吧 |
| [05:18] | Five years?! | 五年?! |
| [05:37] | Stella hasn’t had sex since 2003. | 丝戴拉打从2003年就没有做过爱了 |
| [05:39] | Let’s put this in context. | 现在让我们进入”历史上的2003″ |
| [05:41] | The last time Stella had sex,the movie, Seabiscuit, | 上次丝戴拉做爱的时候 |
| [05:44] | had just galloped into theaters… and our hearts. | 让我们难忘的电影”奔腾年代”刚刚上映 |
| [05:48] | Five years? | 五年? |
| [05:50] | God, if I even went one year, | 天啊 如果我有一年没有做爱 |
| [05:52] | I would be out on the street selling it for a nickel. | 我愿意站到街上 只要有人出五分钱我就跟他走 |
| [05:56] | The last time Stella had sex, | 上次丝戴拉做爱的时候 |
| [05:57] | the world was just learning about SARS. | 整个世界才刚刚知道非典 |
| [06:00] | Well, Ted, what else did she say? | 泰德 她还说了什么 |
| [06:02] | Did she give you any kind of explanation? | 那她怎么解释这个事情 |
| [06:04] | Look, after Lucy was born,I dated a little, | 你也知道 露西出生后 我也约会过几次 |
| [06:07] | but it was hard to find a guy I could trust enough. | 但是很难找到一个我信得过的男人 |
| [06:09] | Sooner or later, every one of them | 他们每个人或早或晚 |
| [06:11] | gave me a reason not to. | 都会让我失望 |
| [06:12] | But nobody in five years? | 五年里面一个人都没有得到你的信任吗? |
| [06:16] | Look, Ted, guys regret the girls they didn’t sleep with. | 泰德 男人们总是对他们没有上过的女孩耿耿于怀 |
| [06:19] | Girls regret the guys they do sleep with. | 女人们对睡过她们的男人悔不当初 |
| [06:21] | And for the past five years, | 在过去的五年内 |
| [06:24] | I’ve had no regrets. | 我没有后悔过 |
| [06:27] | Ted, you’re staring at my boobs. | 泰德 你盯着我的胸看呢 |
| [06:29] | In my defense, they were staring at me. | 照我看 是她们在盯着我 |
| [06:34] | So what does this mean for you? | 那这个对你来说算什么呢? |
| [06:36] | Is she ever gonna want to get intimate? | 她一直都不想和别人亲密接触吗 |
| [06:38] | Actually… | 实际上 |
| [06:39] | But the truth is,I really do | 但是事实上 |
| [06:41] | want to do this with you. | 我很想和你做爱 |
| [06:42] | I don’t think I’d regret it at all. | 我觉得我肯定不会后悔 |
| [06:45] | Your pillow talk’s a little rusty. | 你这枕边话…你就是这样鼓励男人的吗 |
| [06:47] | You know what I mean, Ted. I’m ready. | 你明白我的意思 泰德 我准备好了 |
| [06:49] | That’s great. | 太棒了 |
| [06:52] | Like, “right now” ready? | 是”现在就可以”的那种准备好了吗 |
| [06:55] | So her sister’s driving up to baby-sit Lucy, | 她姐姐会开车过来照顾露西 |
| [06:57] | and we’re getting a hotel room in the city Saturday night. | 我们星期六晚上会在城里开一个房间 |
| [07:01] | The last time Stella had sex, | 丝戴拉上次做爱的时候 |
| [07:02] | The Da Vinci Code had just come out. | 达芬奇密码刚刚上市 |
| [07:04] | Well, that doesn’t seem like that long ago. | 那好像不是很久之前的事情啊 |
| [07:06] | Not the movie, the book. | 不是电影 是书 |
| [07:10] | It’s a lot of pressure, isn’t it? | 压力很大吧 |
| [07:11] | You know what? It’s not. | 其实不是这样的 |
| [07:13] | This woman needs it bad. | 这个女人太饥渴了 |
| [07:15] | Anything you do is going to be fireworks. | 无论你做什么都会点燃她的欲火的 |
| [07:18] | I remember my longest drought… | 我记得我最饥渴的那次 |
| [07:20] | It was that summer I lived in San Francisco. | 是我住在旧金山的那个夏天 |
| [07:23] | I hadn’t had been with Marshall in two months and 19 days. | 我有两个月又19天没有和马修在一起 |
| [07:36] | Oh, San Francisco. | 旧金山啊 |
| [07:39] | I don’t know, Lily,after five years, | 我不懂 莉莉 |
| [07:41] | her expectations have gotta be pretty high. | 五年了 她的期望值应该很高才对吧 |
| [07:43] | Notable deaths in 2003… | 2003年值得注意的去世的人 |
| [07:47] | Oh, my God… Nell Carter. | 天啊 有尼尔·卡特(美国电视界的喜剧红星) |
| [07:51] | Did you guys know that Nell Carter had died? | 你们知道尼尔·卡特已经去世了吗 |
| [07:55] | I’m really gonna have to bring my A-game to satisfy this woman. | 看来我得拿出绝招去满足这位女士了 |
| [07:58] | Yeah, it’ll be pretty hard now that she’s dead. | 是啊 但是因为她已经去世了 所以很难满足了 |
| [08:00] | Not Nell Carter– Stella. | 不是尼尔·卡特 是丝戴拉 |
| [08:01] | Dude, relax. | 伙计 放松点 |
| [08:03] | It’s all about expectations management. | 这就是关于如何管理期望值 |
| [08:04] | Do you know why I hated Jerry Maguire so much? | 你知道我为什么这么讨厌”征服情海”这部电影吗 |
| [08:06] | Because you’re dead inside? | 因为你的心已经死了? |
| [08:08] | No, because you built it up for, like, two weeks, | 不是的 是因为你用了两个星期的时间 |
| [08:11] | saying it was the greatest movie ever. | 告诉我这是史上最好看的电影 |
| [08:13] | With Stella, do the opposite: lower expectations. | 在丝戴拉的事情上 你反过来做就好了 降低她的期望 |
| [08:16] | Right, right, and then no matter what happens, | 也对 这样无论发生什么 |
| [08:18] | she’ll be happy | 她都会很满意了 |
| [08:22] | Hey, buddy. | 伙计 |
| [08:24] | I’m married, Barney.I cannot be your new wingman. | 巴尼 我已经结婚了 我不能做你新的男伴了 |
| [08:30] | No. | 不行 |
| [08:39] | Hey, Randy. | 兰迪 |
| [08:41] | Could you come in here for a minute? | 你能过来下吗 |
| [08:45] | Good news. | 好消息 |
| [08:46] | I’m calling you up to the majors. | 我将带领你直接进入泡妞高级组 |
| [08:48] | Starting tomorrow night, | 从明晚开始 |
| [08:50] | how would you like to be my new wingman? | 你愿意做我新的男伴吗(协助对方泡妞的托儿) |
| [08:54] | Just need to check my calendar. Be right back. | 我要去查一下我的时间表 马上回来 |
| [09:21] | Tomorrow works. | 明天我有空 |
| [09:26] | I have a surprise appetizer for us today. | 今天我买了一个特别的开胃菜 |
| [09:28] | Check it out. | 看 |
| [09:30] | Potato skins. | 土豆皮(里面填充有一些配料) |
| [09:31] | Fancy. | 不错 |
| [09:32] | Yeah, right? | 恩 是挺不错的 |
| [09:34] | God, it’s been forever since I had potato skins. | 天啊 我太久没有吃土豆皮了 |
| [09:36] | I remember them as being | 我记忆中 |
| [09:37] | pretty much the most delicious things ever. | 他们是最美味的食品 |
| [09:43] | That’s surprising. | 太让人惊讶了 |
| [09:45] | What? | 什么 |
| [09:47] | This potato skin. | 这个土豆皮 |
| [09:48] | It’s good | 好吃 |
| [09:49] | but not nearly as good as I’d built it up to be in my head. | 但是没有我想象中的那么好吃 |
| [09:53] | Even though this potato skin performed admirably, | 虽然这个土豆皮已经表现的已经相当好了 |
| [09:56] | and is a totally respectable size… | 大小简直是出奇地赞 |
| [10:00] | I couldn’t enjoy it | 但因为我不实际的期望 |
| [10:01] | because of my own unrealistic expectations. | 所以我就是无法好好享用 |
| [10:04] | Hmm, Ted, I see what you’re doing. | 泰德 我明白你的意思 |
| [10:06] | You’re trying to lower | 你想降低我的期望 |
| [10:07] | my expectations for tonight. | 对今晚的期望 |
| [10:09] | -Is this a length thing? -No. | -不够长? -不是 |
| [10:11] | -Quick on the draw? -No. | -早泄? -不是 |
| [10:13] | -Unexpected number of testicles? -No! | -蛋蛋个数不正常? – 不是! |
| [10:16] | It’s just that this is a big deal for you. | 只是这对于你来说是件大事儿 |
| [10:18] | I mean, it’s like your virginity: the sequel. | 就好象是你的童贞的延续 |
| [10:21] | Virginity 2: Electric Boogaloo? | 第二次童贞 霹雳舞?(有部电影叫Breakin II Electric Boogaloo) |
| [10:24] | Exactly, and I don’t want to mess it up. | 就是这样! 我可不想把它搞砸了 |
| [10:26] | I don’t want you to ever wonder if I was worth it. | 我希望你想起来时 都不用考虑我是否值得你这么做 |
| [10:30] | Ted, of course it’s gonna be worth it. | 泰德 这当然是值得的 |
| [10:32] | Stop worrying. | 别再担心了 |
| [10:34] | It’s you and me. | 有我和你 |
| [10:36] | It already has everything it needs. | 就已经万事俱备了 |
| [10:42] | “Unexpected number of testicles?” | “蛋蛋个数不正常?”你也想得出来 |
| [10:44] | It happens. I knew a guy in med school… | 发生过的 我认识一个学医的男人… |
| [10:46] | We used to joke that he was one ball away from getting walked. | 我们总嘲笑他再少个球就可以被人上了 |
| [10:55] | What up, Bro-seph Lieberman? | 怎么啦 约瑟夫·莱伯曼兄(2000年民主党副总统候选人) |
| [10:58] | No, uh-uh. | 不对 |
| [10:59] | Randy, we never use the word “bro” in the name | 兰迪 我们从来不把”兄弟”这词 |
| [11:03] | of a failed Democratic vice presidential candidate. | 用在一个竞选失败的民主党副总统候选人上 |
| [11:08] | Good-bye, “Geraldine Ferrar-bro.” | 再见 “杰拉尔丁·费拉罗兄”(1984年副总统竞选失败) |
| [11:11] | You know what? | 你知道吗 |
| [11:13] | I’m excited about this, Randy. | 我对于这事儿很兴奋 兰迪 |
| [11:15] | You will be my next masterpiece. | 你将成为我的下一个杰作 |
| [11:17] | It’s like with Ted. | 就像是和泰德一样 |
| [11:18] | When I first met him, | 我第一次见他的时候 |
| [11:20] | he was an even bigger loser than you. | 他看起来比你失败多了 |
| [11:21] | What a loser. | 真是个失败者 |
| [11:23] | But tonight, I am going to make you | 但今晚 我会让你成为 |
| [11:26] | the greatest wingman in the history of wingmen. | 泡妞二人转史上最棒的男伴 |
| [11:30] | Oh, it’s gonna be easier than you think, bro. | 那会比你想的要简单的 兄弟 |
| [11:32] | Yeah, I’ve been reading your blog for years. | 我看你的博客很多年了 |
| [11:35] | You are like a god to me. | 你对我来说就是上帝 |
| [11:36] | That’s why tonight is going to be legendary… | 这就是为什么今晚会成为传奇的 |
| [11:39] | wait for it… | 等一下 |
| [11:41] | dary. | 奇的 |
| [11:47] | Okay, Randy, let’s do this. | 好吧 兰迪 开始行动吧 |
| [11:49] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [11:52] | You ready? | 你准备好了吗 |
| [11:53] | Yes. | 好了 |
| [11:54] | No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! | 别 别 别过去! |
| [11:56] | What? What’s the matter? | 怎么回事儿啊 |
| [11:58] | Nothing. | 没事 |
| [12:00] | Let’s do this. | 咱们行动吧 |
| [12:02] | No, no, no, no, no, please, please, please. | 别 别 别走开 拜托了 拜托你了 |
| [12:04] | Just wait. Just wait. Just wait. Just wait! | 就等一下 一下 就等一下! |
| [12:06] | Randy, what are you doing? | 兰迪 你究竟怎么啦 |
| [12:08] | Dripping with game,that’s what I’m doing. | 我不就是充分准备迎接战斗嘛 |
| [12:11] | Okay, let’s go. No. Let’s… | 好吧 那走吧 别呀 咱们… |
| [12:13] | Yes. No! | 走吧 别走! |
| [12:14] | Randy, listen to me: you can do this, okay? | 兰迪 听我说 你可以做到的 |
| [12:16] | Oh, I don’t know. Are those girls really that hot? | 我不知道 那些女孩真那么火辣吗 |
| [12:19] | Yeah, they’re hot. Let’s do this. | 是的 很火辣 咱们上吧 |
| [12:21] | Okay! | 好! |
| [12:25] | Hey, ladies. | 嗨 女士们 |
| [12:27] | Have you met… | 你们有没见过… |
| [12:36] | -Hey. -Hey! | -嗨 -嗨! |
| [12:38] | So, here’s the plan. | 计划是这样的 |
| [12:40] | Take a horse-drawn carriage through the park, | 我们坐着马车经过公园时 |
| [12:41] | and it just so happens | 正好有个 |
| [12:43] | -the Philharmonic is playing an open-air… -Ted. | -音乐团体在举行露天演出… -泰德 |
| [12:44] | Five years. | 五年了 |
| [12:46] | -Straight to the hotel? -Straight to the hotel. | -那直奔宾馆? -直奔宾馆比较好 |
| [12:47] | I’ll get my bag. | 我去拿包 |
| [12:51] | Hey, guys. | 嗨 朋友们 |
| [12:53] | So, uh, looking forward to tonight? | 很期待今晚吧 |
| [12:56] | Yeah. Definitely. | 是啊 当然咯 |
| [12:57] | It’s been such a long time since I’ve had a night out. | 我已经很久没有出去午夜狂欢了 |
| [12:59] | Yeah, we heard. | 是呀 我们听说了 |
| [13:01] | I would explode if it had been that long | 我如果要是有那么久没”午夜狂欢” |
| [13:04] | since I had a “night out.” | 早就欲火焚身了 |
| [13:05] | This one wakes me up at 4 am sometimes | 这家伙经常凌晨4点把我叫醒 |
| [13:07] | just to have a little “night out.” | 就为了体验一把”午夜狂欢” |
| [13:10] | Um, what are you guys talking about? | 你们俩什么意思啊 |
| [13:14] | Nothing. | 没什么啊 |
| [13:15] | Pizza. | 披萨而已 |
| [13:16] | What are you talking about? | 你问什么呢 |
| [13:18] | Hey, guys. | 嗨 朋友们 |
| [13:20] | Ted, you told them, didn’t you? | 泰德 你告诉他们了 是吗 |
| [13:23] | Told them what? | 告诉他们什么? |
| [13:24] | You told them | 你告诉他们 |
| [13:25] | that I haven’t had sex in five years. | 我已经有五年没有做爱了 |
| [13:31] | You haven’t had sex in five years?! | 你已经有五年没有做爱了?! |
| [13:34] | That is a shocking revelation | 那可真是惊人的揭密呀 |
| [13:35] | that we’re just finding out right now! | 你不说我们还真不知道呢 |
| [13:46] | Stella, I’m sorry. | 丝戴拉 对不起啊 |
| [13:47] | I shouldn’t have told them. | 我不应该告诉他们 |
| [13:48] | But they’re my best friends. I tell them everything. | 但他们是我最好的朋友 我跟他们无话不谈的 |
| [13:50] | I-I didn’t even think about it. | 我连想都没想就说了 |
| [13:52] | Ted, that was so personal. | 泰德 那可是很私人的事情 |
| [13:54] | Plus, now your friends think I’m a freak. | 而且现在你的朋友们肯定觉得我是个怪物了 |
| [13:56] | No, they don’t. | 没有 不会的 |
| [13:58] | Look, I realize it’s weird, okay? | 我知道这很古怪 对吧 |
| [14:00] | Not many people go five years without having sex. | 哪里会有人5年都没有做过爱的 |
| [14:02] | 13 years?! | 13年? |
| [14:04] | I peaked really young. | 我很早就不是处男啦 |
| [14:07] | That’s why it was difficult for me to tell you. | 这就是为什么让我觉得这事难以启齿 |
| [14:09] | But I did tell you because I thought that I could trust you. | 但我还是告诉你了 我以为你会是个可以信赖的人 |
| [14:11] | You can trust me. | 你当然可以相信我 |
| [14:12] | Obviously, I can’t. | 显然 我不能 |
| [14:15] | You know, there’s always a reason not to sleep with a guy, | 你知道么 总有那么个理由让我不跟男人睡觉 |
| [14:18] | and you just gave me yours. | 你正好给了我你的 |
| [14:19] | Wait, did I give you a reason, | 等等 到底是我给了你个理由 |
| [14:21] | or were you looking for one? | 还是你有意找了个理由? |
| [14:23] | Why would be looking for one? | 我干嘛要找个理由? |
| [14:26] | Because things are getting serious between us, | 因为咱俩的关系变得更进一步 |
| [14:28] | and that scares you. | 吓到你了 |
| [14:34] | Good night, Ted. | 晚安 泰德 |
| [14:38] | Okay, Randy, now, | 好了 兰迪 |
| [14:40] | tell me, without looking at your hand, | 现在不要看你的手 告诉我 |
| [14:43] | are the three beginner techniques | 在酒吧泡妞 |
| [14:44] | for picking up a woman at a bar? | 最基本的3个技巧是什么 |
| [14:46] | Isolate her from her friends; | 把她和她的朋友分离开 |
| [14:48] | repeat her name in conversation; | 在谈话中重复着她的名字 |
| [14:50] | subtly put her down. | 慢慢的放倒她 |
| [14:52] | Excellent. | 棒极了 |
| [14:54] | Now… | 现在 |
| [14:55] | let’s put those to use. | 咱们来把它付诸实践 |
| [14:58] | I’m right behind you. | 我就在你后面 |
| [15:04] | Hi, I’m Randy. | 嗨 我叫兰迪 |
| [15:06] | What’s your name? | 你叫什么 |
| [15:07] | Haley. | 哈莉 |
| [15:08] | Haley. | 哈莉 |
| [15:09] | Haley, that’s a pretty name, Haley. | 哈莉 这名字不错 哈莉 |
| [15:11] | Haley… | 哈莉… |
| [15:12] | come here, Haley. | 过来 哈莉 |
| [15:14] | Um… okay. | 好啊 |
| [15:18] | Haley, you are a fat ugly whore. | 哈莉 你是个又丑又肥的婊子 |
| [15:27] | I’m sorry, Barney. | 我对不起你 巴尼 |
| [15:29] | Eh, so you got a drink thrown in your face. | 不就被人拿酒迎面泼了吗 |
| [15:31] | Happens to me all the time. | 这事儿我也经常遇到 |
| [15:33] | Pretty soon you’ll be able to anticipate it, | 很快你就会学会享受这个 |
| [15:34] | and when you do? Free drink. | 当你学会时 就是免费喝酒咯 |
| [15:38] | We got two live ones. | 又有两个活色生香的来了 |
| [15:40] | New plan: this time follow my lead. | 新计划 这次听我指挥 |
| [15:44] | Evening, ladies. | 晚安 女士们 |
| [15:47] | Oh, I like your broach. | 你的吊饰真可爱 |
| [15:49] | What is that? | 是什么东西 |
| [15:50] | Oh, it’s a koala bear. | 是只考拉 |
| [15:51] | I think they’re adorable. | 我觉得他们可爱死了 |
| [15:53] | No way! | 这么巧! |
| [15:54] | My friend randy here is the leading expert | 我的朋友兰迪是澳洲 |
| [15:56] | On koala bears in australia! | 研究考拉的首席专家 |
| [15:58] | He’s in town working with the bronx zoo. | 他过来与布朗克斯动物园交流工作 |
| [16:00] | You are? | 真的? |
| [16:01] | That is so Cool! | 这真是酷毙了! |
| [16:05] | Okay, what is your favorite thing about koala bears? | 你最喜欢考拉的什么 |
| [16:09] | Their… | 他们的… |
| [16:13] | Meat is delicious. | 肉…很…好吃… |
| [16:20] | I’m sorry, barney. | 对不起 巴尼 |
| [16:22] | Ah, it’s okay. | 没关系 |
| [16:23] | New plan: We need to get you comfortable | 新计划 我们要帮你放松 |
| [16:26] | Just saying words to women. | 和女人说话没什么大不了 |
| [16:28] | Now, there’s no reason to be nervous, | 这下没有理由紧张了 |
| [16:30] | Because my friend, robin, has agreed to help out. | 我的朋友 罗宾 答应了要帮忙 |
| [16:32] | Because you threatened to put a video of us on the internet, | 那因为你威胁我会把我们的艳事视频放上网 |
| [16:34] | Which I’m still not convinced you have. | 虽然我不确定你是否真的有 |
| [16:36] | Right, which is why you came all the way | 没错 就是这个让你深更半夜 |
| [16:38] | From brooklyn at midnight. | 从布鲁克林跑这儿来 |
| [16:40] | Now randy, | 现在 兰迪 |
| [16:41] | Let’s keep it Simple. | 让我们搞简单点 |
| [16:43] | Just start by introducing Yourself. | 只要从自我介绍开始吧 |
| [16:47] | My name’s randy. | 我是兰迪 |
| [16:48] | Hi, randy. | 你好 兰迪 |
| [16:49] | How are you? | 你好吗 |
| [16:51] | I’m good. how are you? | 我还不错 你呢 |
| [16:52] | -Good, thank you. -great. | -我也不错 谢谢 -很好 |
| [16:54] | You’re doing really, really well. | 你做的很好 真的很好 |
| [16:55] | Now ask her what she’s doing later. | 现在问她呆会儿干什么 |
| [16:57] | What are you doing later? | 你呆会儿干什么 |
| [16:59] | Yeah, your nose is bleeding like a faucet. | 呃…你的鼻子像关不掉的水龙头一样地流血 |
| [17:03] | Oh, god. | 天哪 |
| [17:05] | This happens every time I get an erection. | 每次我一”兴奋”起来都会这样 |
| [17:07] | I am so sorry. | 非常抱歉 |
| [17:11] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [17:12] | Okay, new plan. | 好吧 新计划 |
| [17:14] | We wrap his face in gauze so he can’t bleed or talk. | 我们把他的脸用纱盖起来 这样他既不能说话也不能流血了 |
| [17:17] | You are the woman… | 你就扮演一个女人… |
| [17:18] | Barney, why are you so desperate to have this happen? | 巴尼 你为什么这么歇斯底里的要帮他呢 |
| [17:22] | I’m a wingman. | 我是个好男伴 |
| [17:23] | That’s what wingmen do. | 好的托儿就该这样 |
| [17:24] | Is it possible | 是不是有可能 |
| [17:26] | That you’re trying to fill the void of losing ted | 你在尝试帮一个人做男伴 |
| [17:28] | By rushing into a new wingman relationship? | 来填补你失去泰德的空虚? |
| [17:31] | What are you saying? | 你在说什么 |
| [17:32] | I’m saying that randy is your rebound bro. | 我是说兰迪是你的救生圈 |
| [17:36] | No. | 才不是 |
| [17:37] | That’s crazy. | 我疯了吗 |
| [17:39] | What randy and I have is real. | 我和兰迪是真哥们儿 |
| [17:41] | No, it’s not, barney. | 不 不是的 巴尼 |
| [17:43] | And even if you got randy laid tonight, | 即使你让兰迪猎艳成功 |
| [17:45] | Would it feel anywhere near as meaningful | 你会有任何像你使泰德猎艳成功 |
| [17:48] | As when you got ted laid? | 那样有意义吗 |
| [17:49] | He was just so happy the next morning, you know? | 你都不知道他每次第二天早上有多高兴 |
| [17:53] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [17:54] | All right. | 好了 |
| [17:55] | It hasn’t clotted, | 血还是没有停 |
| [17:56] | But I think it’s pretty much draining backwards now. | 不过差不多开始倒流了 |
| [18:01] | Randy. | 兰迪 |
| [18:03] | I’ve been thinking, | 我一直在想 |
| [18:05] | Is isn’t working out. | 这样好像不管用 |
| [18:07] | Yeah, I figured. | 是的 我也发现了 |
| [18:09] | I knew I couldn’t fly this close to the sun | 我知道我不可能离太阳这么近却不被灼伤 |
| [18:11] | Without getting burned. | (不可能离女人这么近却不犯错的) |
| [18:14] | This is the story of my life. | 这就是我的人生 |
| [18:15] | I always let people down. | 我总是让别人失望 |
| [18:17] | You, my dad, the chief. | 你啦 我爸啦 还有警长 |
| [18:19] | The chief? | 警长? |
| [18:20] | Yeah, I was a cop for like three months. | 是啊 我当过大概三个月的警察 |
| [18:22] | But I got kicked off the force | 不过很快被三振出局了 |
| [18:24] | Because I screwed up so much I was an insurance liability. | 我把一切都搞砸了 我的信用度完全负数 |
| [18:27] | You were a new york city police officer | 你曾经是一个纽约警察 |
| [18:30] | And you didn’t tell me? | 却没有告诉我? |
| [18:32] | Did you ever shoot anybody? | 你有没有开枪打过谁吗 |
| [18:33] | Only all the time. | 当然 |
| [18:35] | But not himself. | 没打到过他自己 |
| [18:36] | And not in the foot. | 也没打到他自己的脚 |
| [18:38] | -Actually… -ah, bah, bah, bah, bah. | -事实上… -好了 说别的 说别的 |
| [18:38] | But nothing. | 没有什么但是 |
| [18:40] | I don’t think there’s anything hotter than a cop. | 我不认为有比警察更诱人的男人了 |
| [18:43] | Are you okay? | 你还好吧 |
| [18:44] | Your nose is bleeding. | 你的鼻子在流血 |
| [18:46] | Uh, old injury. | 老伤了 |
| [18:47] | The bullet’s still lodged in his sinus. | 子弹依然驻扎在他的鼻腔 |
| [18:49] | Oh, my god! | 天哪 |
| [18:50] | You know what? | 你知道吗 |
| [18:51] | I live right around the corner. | 我就住在拐角处 |
| [18:52] | Can I take you to my place | 你跟我回家 |
| [18:54] | And fix you up? | 我帮你”止住它” |
| [18:57] | That would be very nice. | 好极了 |
| [19:02] | Have a great time, you two. | 你们俩玩的开心点 |
| [19:04] | Oh, my god, thank you. I can’t thank you enough. | 天哪 谢谢你 千谢万谢都不够 |
| [19:09] | I am the greatest wingman of all time. | 我总是最好的那个男伴 |
| [19:12] | Ted doesn’t know what he’s missing. | 泰德不知道他失去了什么 |
| [19:15] | You had to mention ted, didn’t you? | 你非要提起泰德 对吗 |
| [19:25] | Okay, I really overreacted last night. | 好吧 我昨晚的确反应过度了 |
| [19:28] | I’m sorry. | 对不起 |
| [19:29] | Maybe I have some trust issues, | 或许我是有些信任上的问题 |
| [19:31] | But believe me, I have earned them. | 不过相信我 我会克服它们的 |
| [19:34] | You said that I was looking for a reason | 你说我只不过在找一个理由 |
| [19:37] | For this whole thing to fall apart. | 让这一切都化为乌有 |
| [19:39] | Well, you’re onto me, ted. | 没错 你太了解我了 泰德 |
| [19:41] | That’s actually something that I do a lot. | 这确实是我经常犯的错误 |
| [19:44] | But I’m not going to do that with you. | 不过我不会再想和你分手 |
| [19:48] | Ted… I’m in. | 泰德…我愿意 |
| [19:52] | This is awkward. | 真棘手 |
| [19:54] | I have a girl here. | 有个女人在房里等我 |
| [19:55] | So… | 那么… |
| [20:04] | Come on. | 走吧 |
| [20:06] | There is something that I’m ready to do with you. | 有一些事 我准备好与你一起分享了 |
| [20:15] | Ted, this Lucy. | 泰德 这是露西 |
| [20:17] | -Hi, lucy. -lucy, this is ted. | -你好 露西 -露西 这是泰德 |
| [20:19] | Stella and I thought our relationship | 丝戴拉和我觉得我们的关系 |
| [20:21] | Was going to take a big step that weekend. | 在那个周末将跃进一大步 |
| [20:24] | turned out. it even took a bigger one | 事实上 是比一大步更大一步 |
| [20:34] | She’s sound asleep. oh. | 她睡着了 |
| [20:35] | She is so great. | 她可爱极了 |
| [20:37] | I think so. | 我也这么觉得 |
| [20:39] | So, uh, I was thinking, | 那么…我想… |
| [20:42] | My sister is in town until tomorrow. | 我的妹妹要在这儿待到明天 |
| [20:44] | And, uh, there’s a motel just down the turnpike. | 呃…公路下就有一个汽车旅馆 |
| [20:54] | -Wow, that was amazing! -oh, yeah. | -太棒了 -没错 |
| [20:57] | What are you doing? | 你干什么? |
| [20:59] | I gonna call Marshall and Lily tell them about this | 我得告诉马修和莉莉咱们的战况 |