| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:02] | I am not impressed with the talent in here tonight. | 我对今晚这儿的美女没啥兴趣 |
| [00:05] | And the more I drink, the less attractive they get. | 我喝的越多 她们越没吸引力 |
| [00:08] | I’m one scotch and soda away from the Cantina scene in Star Wars. | 我是一杯远离了星战里的Cantina酒吧 的威士忌苏打 |
| [00:11] | What about those girls over there? They’re hot. | 那边的女孩咋样? 她们很辣 |
| [00:14] | They’re not hot. | 她们一点也不辣 |
| [00:15] | Are you kidding? | 你开玩笑吧? |
| [00:16] | I hated their guts the second I saw them. | 看她们第一眼我就极度厌恶 |
| [00:18] | Which means they’re hot. | 这就说明她们很辣 |
| [00:19] | In fact, I hated them almost as much as I hated Robin when I first met her. | 事实上 和我第一眼看到Robin时一样厌恶 |
| [00:23] | – You hated me? – A lot. | – 你厌恶我? – 非常 |
| [00:27] | Barney, they’re hot. | Barney 她们很辣 |
| [00:30] | Oh, there is so much to teach you all. | 我要好好教教你们几个 |
| [00:32] | You have just become victims of… | 你们只是拉拉队效应的… |
| [00:35] | The Cheerleader Effect. | 受害者 |
| [00:37] | Glad you asked. | 很高兴你问我 |
| [00:37] | The Cheerleader Effect is when a group of women seems hot but only as a group. | 拉拉队效应就是 一帮女人只有从整体看才辣 |
| [00:43] | Just like with cheerleaders. | 就像拉拉队一样 |
| [00:44] | They seem hot, but take each one of them individually? | 她们似乎很辣 但单独看她们中的一个 |
| [00:48] | Sled dogs. | 雪橇狗而已 |
| [00:49] | That’s insane. | 太荒谬了 |
| [00:51] | Take a good, hard look at each one of those girls. Individually. | 好好看看她们中的每一个 单独地 |
| [01:13] | I don’t know. The one on the end is kind of cute. | 说不好 最后一个还有点可爱 |
| [01:16] | Yeah, she really is. | 恩 确实是 |
| [01:18] | And that, my friends, is “The Cheerleader Effect.” | 所以 伙计们 这就是拉拉队效应 |
| [01:21] | Also known as the Bridesmaid Paradox, Sorority Girl Syndrome, | 也称为伴娘悖论 或者联谊会女生综合症 |
| [01:25] | and for a brief window in the mid -’90s, | 还有90年代中期很红的 |
| [01:27] | the Spice Girls Conspiracy. | 辣妹组合效应 |
| [01:29] | Scary Spice indeed. | 她们可辣的我受不了啊 |
| [01:36] | Barney Stinson Barney Stinson. | |
| [01:40] | Okay. Got it. | 好 知道了 |
| [01:43] | Great, we’ll be in touch. | 太好了 我们再联系 |
| [01:48] | What? | 什么? |
| [01:49] | Apparently, I’m gonna be a dad. | 看样子我要做爸爸了 |
| [02:04] | How I Met Your Mother Season04 Episode07 | |
| [02:06] | What do you mean you’re gonna be a dad? | 你要做爸爸了是什么意思? |
| [02:08] | How did, how did this happen? | 怎么 怎么会? |
| [02:09] | It was just some girl I hooked up with a few weeks back. | 是我前几个星期上过的妞 |
| [02:12] | She’s not sure. She’s gonna go to the doctor in the morning. | 她不确定 早上要去看了医生才知道 |
| [02:15] | Maybe it’s a false alarm. Maybe she’s not pregnant. | 可能搞错了 可能她没怀孕 |
| [02:18] | Lily, no part of Barney Stinson does anything less than 110%. | Lily 无论是Barney Stinson哪个部分 他的成功率都不会少于110% |
| [02:22] | If one of my little Michael Phelpses got loose, | 如果我的一个极速小精子杀出了重围 |
| [02:24] | he’s swimming for the gold. | 他就会游向黄金之地 |
| [02:26] | Oh, this is a nightmare. I don’t want kids. | 这是噩梦 我不想要小孩 |
| [02:29] | Who in their right mind would ever want kids? | 哪个精神正常的人会要孩子? |
| [02:32] | Now, when you turn 30 and you’re in a couple, a strange thing happens. | 当你30岁了 结了婚 奇怪的事就发生了 |
| [02:36] | You start to see babies everywhere. | 你开始注意到到处都是孩子 |
| [02:52] | Oh, come on. | 饶了我吧 |
| [02:54] | Yes, Marshall and Lily were coming down with baby fever. | 是的 Marshall和Lily对孩子着了魔 |
| [02:57] | And their new neighbors weren’t helping. | 他们的新邻居更是助长了他们 |
| [02:59] | Did you lose a sock there, little dude? | 你把袜子丢这儿了吗 小伙计? |
| [03:03] | That is without a doubt the cutest little thing I’ve ever seen. | 毫无疑问这是我看到过的最可爱的东西了 |
| [03:08] | There’s my little peanut. | 我的小宝贝 |
| [03:09] | That night they sat down to have a serious practical discussion about having kids. | 那天晚上 他们认真讨论了要孩子的事 |
| [03:13] | So, if we have a baby, | 所以 如果我们要孩子 |
| [03:15] | do you think you could work fewer hours? | 你认为你的工作时间能短点吗? |
| [03:18] | Doesn’t matter– he’s gonna be so cute, | 没关系 他肯定可爱的不行了 |
| [03:20] | I’m gonna eat him up on the first day. | 第一天我就想把他吞下去 |
| [03:23] | Okay. But, but what about money? We’re still in a ton of debt. | 好 但是钱怎么办? 我们还有一屁股债 |
| [03:27] | Oh, well, we’ll count our overdue bills on his teenie tiny fingers. | 我们用他的小手指数我们逾期未付的帐单 |
| [03:32] | Let’s have a baby. | 让我们生个娃吧 |
| [03:38] | Oh, oh, right now? Oh, okay. | 现在? 好吧 |
| [03:41] | There was just one thing in their way. | 但有个家伙妨碍了他们 |
| [03:43] | Scooch over. I TiVo’d The View. | Scooch演完了 我把它录下来了 |
| [03:47] | And that thing happened to be unemployed and sleeping on their couch. | 这家伙没工作还睡在他们沙发上 |
| [03:54] | So, Robin, um, how’s the job and apartment search going? | Robin你工作和房子找的咋样了? |
| [03:58] | Oh, you didn’t hear? | 你没听说吗? |
| [03:59] | I’m the lead anchor on CNN. | 我是CNN的主播 |
| [04:01] | And I got a penthouse overlooking Central Park made of gold. | 我有一套金子做的豪华公寓鸟瞰中央公园 |
| [04:05] | Get your head out of your ass, Marshall. | 你搞搞清楚 Marshall |
| [04:08] | They realized if they were going to start a family | 他们意识到如果他们要开始家庭生活 |
| [04:11] | they had to plan ahead. | 他们不得不事先计划 |
| [04:12] | So, Robin,would you mind crashing at Ted’s tomorrow night? | Robin 你介意明晚睡在Ted那儿吗? |
| [04:16] | I’m, uh, cooking Marshall a special dinner. | 我要给Marshall做一顿特别的晚餐 |
| [04:19] | Just dinner. That’s it. Nothing else. | 就仅仅是晚餐 没别的了 |
| [04:22] | Fine. But you’d better not be as uptight as these idiots about me shooting beer cans on the roof. | 好吧 但你最好别急躁到 逼我往屋顶上扔啤酒罐 |
| [04:27] | “Oh,it hurts my ears.” | 弄痛我耳朵了 |
| [04:30] | 邻居叫警察了 你几乎砸中我了 | |
| [04:33] | Enjoy her, Ted. She’s in a real good place right now. | 忍忍她吧 Ted 她现在是非常时期 |
| [04:40] | God? It’s me. Barney. What up? | 上帝? 是我Barney 什么事? |
| [04:45] | I know we don’t talk much, | 我知道我们不咋地说话 |
| [04:47] | though a lot of girls call out your name because of me. | 虽然因为我的关系 许多女孩呼唤你的名字 |
| [04:50] | Awesome. | 棒极了 |
| [04:52] | But, God… | 但 上帝 |
| [04:55] | if you could get me out of this, | 如果你能使我摆脱这困境 |
| [04:57] | I swear I will never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever… | 我发誓我将永远永远永远永远永远不… |
| [05:08] | Ooh, hang on, bro. Go for Barney. | 等下哥们 我是Barney |
| [05:16] | Really? | 真的? |
| [05:26] | Marshall, great news! I’m not a father! | Marshall 好消息! 我不是爸爸! |
| [05:30] | Congratulations, buddy. | 恭喜你 哥们 |
| [05:32] | This is the happiest moment of my life, Marshall. | 这是我一生中最快乐的时刻 Marshall |
| [05:34] | The way I feel about not having kids? | 没有孩子的感觉? |
| [05:37] | I never knew I could love something this much. | 我从不知道我会那么喜欢一样东西 |
| [05:40] | That’s why I’m creating a holiday. | 所以我要发明一个节日 |
| [05:43] | From now on, today will be known as “Not a Father’s Day.” | 从现在开始 今天将成为不是爸爸节 |
| [05:47] | You’re creating a holiday? | 你发明了一个节日? |
| [05:49] | Yeah, why not? Everyone else gets a day: | 恩 为啥不呢? 别人都有节日 |
| [05:51] | Mothers, Fathers, Bastilles. | 母亲节 父亲节 巴士底狱解放日 |
| [05:53] | Why can’t there be a day for people who are single and like it that way? | 为啥不能有 喜欢单生生活的单身汉节日呢? |
| [05:57] | Well, now you just sound like the chubby girl on Valentine’s Day. | 现在你就像情人节里的花痴肥妞 |
| [06:00] | Hello, Stinson. | 你好 Stinson |
| [06:01] | Hey, Nolan.How are the kids? | 你好 Nolan 孩子们咋样? |
| [06:05] | You ready for tonight, Eriksen? Big merger. | 你今晚作好准备 Eriksen 大动作的合并啊 |
| [06:08] | Well, that’s between me and my wife, sir. | 那是我和我老婆的”合并” |
| [06:11] | No. The meeting with Mr. Li. Tonight. | 不 我说的是今晚和李先生开会 |
| [06:14] | I thought, I thought that was a breakfast meeting. | 我想 我想那应该是早餐会议 |
| [06:15] | It is. Breakfast in China. We’re teleconferencing with the Chinese. I’m counting on you, kid. | 是 中国的早餐 我们和中国人开电视会议 我就指望你了 孩子 |
| [06:24] | Marshall? Marshall? | |
| [06:25] | Hey, babe. It’s breakfast time in China. | 嘿 亲爱的 是中国的早餐时间了 |
| [06:28] | Yeah, it is. | 是的 |
| [06:30] | Not a euphemism. Look, I… Wait, what would that even mean? | 一点也不委婉 听着 我 等下 那是啥意思? |
| [06:34] | I don’t know, hot buns, spicy pork? There’s something there. You’re not coming home tonight, are you? | 我不知道 热辣臀部 香辣的猪肉? 反正有好东西 你今晚不回来了 是吧? |
| [06:42] | Are you shaking your head “no?” | 你在摇头说不吗? |
| [06:46] | I thought so. | 我想是的 |
| [06:49] | Oh, thank you, guys, for coming over so fast. | 谢谢你们来的那么快 |
| [06:51] | Are you all right? You sounded upset on the phone. | 你还好吧? 电话里你听上去很不安 |
| [06:54] | Marshall and I made this big decision to have… dinner. | Marshall和我 做了吃 “晚餐” 的重大决定 |
| [06:59] | And I thought I was ready to-to have… dinner. | 我想我准备好吃 “晚餐”了 |
| [07:03] | But then he called and canceled, and it got me thinking. | 但是他打电话给我说取消了 于是我就开始想 |
| [07:06] | Is it too early for us to have… dinner? | 我们是不是太早吃 “晚餐” 了? |
| [07:10] | Well, I had an early lunch, so I’m ready for dinner. | 我午餐吃得蛮早 反正我是准备好吃晚餐了 |
| [07:12] | Dinner is a baby! | 晚餐是指孩子! |
| [07:13] | Lily, that’s horrible! | Lily 太恐怖了! |
| [07:16] | No, no, I, I need you guys to figure something out for me. | 不不 我要你们帮我解决件事 |
| [07:19] | What? | 什么事? |
| [07:21] | Are Marshall and I ready to have a baby? | Marshall和我做好要孩子的准备了吗? |
| [07:28] | Marshall and I ready to have a baby or not? | Marshall和我是不是做好要孩子的准备了? |
| [07:32] | Lily, we can’t make this decision for you.It’s huge. | Lily 我们不能帮你做这个决定 它太重大了 |
| [07:35] | You know what else is huge? Marshall’s head. | 你知道还有什么东西大吗? Marshall的脑袋 |
| [07:37] | That thing’s the size of a late August watermelon. | 足有八月底西瓜那么大 |
| [07:40] | Marshall’s baby coming through there? | Marshall的孩子从那里出来吗? |
| [07:42] | Yowza! | 真牛! |
| [07:44] | What does Marshall think? | Marshall咋想? |
| [07:45] | Probably a lot in that 1950s space helmet of a head he’s walking around with. | 他那颗好像顶着上世纪50年代 宇航员头盔的脑袋里想的肯定不少 |
| [07:50] | Marshall’s really excited. | Marshall很兴奋 |
| [07:52] | But I think he only sees what’s cute about having a baby, not what’s hard about it. | 但是我想他只看见了拥有孩子后 美好的一面 而没看见艰难的一面 |
| [07:57] | Like the other day, while Marshall was playing with baby Jeremy, | 前几天Marshall和宝宝Jeremy玩的时候 |
| [07:59] | I was talking to Jeremy’s mom. | 我和Jeremy的妈妈在聊天 |
| [08:01] | Thanks so much for inviting us over. | 谢谢请我们过来 |
| [08:03] | I have not talked to another adult in, like, weeks. | 我已经好象几个礼拜 没和别的成年人说过话了 |
| [08:05] | Well, besides my husband. But “It’s your turn to change him” | 包括我那口子 除了 “轮到你换尿布了” |
| [08:07] | and “Make him shut up” really doesn’t count as conversation. | 和 “让他别哭了” 这些算不上谈话 |
| [08:10] | Sorry, I’m rambling. I haven’t gotten laid in seven months. Oh, I just did it again! | 不好意思 我话多了点 我已经7个月 没和他上过床了 我刚刚又说过头了 |
| [08:14] | Sleep deprivation! | 睡眠被剥夺! |
| [08:17] | Oh, wait, I’m not crying, am I? I usually am. I don’t mean to complain. | 等下 我不是在哭 是吧? 通常我是… 我不是故意抱怨 |
| [08:21] | Oh, now I feel bad! Oh, there’s my little peanut! Oh, I love you so much! | 我感觉很差! 我可爱的小花生 我太爱你了 |
| [08:27] | I’m going to be as strung out as Charlotte. Worse actually. | 我得像Charlotte那样坚强 也许得更坚强一些 |
| [08:31] | At least her husband works from home. | 至少她那口子是在家工作 |
| [08:33] | I mean, he’s a pot dealer, but he’s a very involved parent. | 我的意思是 他是个卖锅的 但他是个非常负责的家长 |
| [08:37] | Marshall will be a great dad. | Marshall会是个好爸爸的 |
| [08:38] | Marshall’s always at the office, | Marshall总是在办公室 |
| [08:41] | and, and I’m afraid that if we have a baby now, | 我怕如果我们现在有了孩子 |
| [08:43] | all the work will fall on me. | 那所有事情都要我来干 |
| [08:45] | You’re just panicking and focusing on the downside. | 你只是有点慌乱 只看到消极的一面 |
| [08:47] | I think Lily’s just being realistic. | 我觉得Lily很现实 |
| [08:49] | See, this is good. This is why I called you guys both over here. | 看吧 很好 所以我叫你们两个都过来 |
| [08:53] | Ted, you’re pro kids. Robin, you’re against. | Ted 你是正方 Robin 你是反方 |
| [08:56] | Counselors, opening statements. | 顾问们 开始陈述 |
| [08:58] | Okay, I know you’re afraid that you’re not ready. | 我知道你怕你没准备好 |
| [09:01] | But no one ever thinks they’re ready. You-you just have to take the leap. | 但是人们总觉得还准备不足 你放手去做就好了 |
| [09:04] | Parenthood will come naturally. | 自然而然的就变成了父母 |
| [09:06] | Well, of course you think it comes naturally. | 当然 你觉得是自然而然的 |
| [09:08] | You’re basically a dad already. | 你基本上就是个老爸了 |
| [09:09] | You’re a total dad. | 绝对的爸爸 |
| [09:11] | What are you talking about? | 你们在说啥? |
| [09:12] | Ted,think about it. | Ted 想想吧 |
| [09:14] | You tell super corny dad jokes. | 你说的那些超级庸俗的爸爸笑话 |
| [09:17] | Shredded tweet! | 碎掉的吱吱声! |
| [09:19] | Oh, man! Shredded tweet. | 伙计们! 碎掉的吱吱声 |
| [09:24] | You lecture us. Like when we broke your stupid ship in a bottle. | 你教育我们 当我们打破你一个瓶子里烂船 |
| [09:28] | I’m not angry. I’m just disappointed. | 我没有生气 我只是对你们很失望 |
| [09:31] | – She did it! – Shut up! | – 她干的! – 闭嘴! |
| [09:35] | And you do that thing all dads do with waitresses. | 你干了所有爸爸都会对服务生做的事 |
| [09:38] | Hi, I’m Lori. I’ll be your waitress this evening. | 你们好 我是Lori 我是你们今晚的服务生 |
| [09:40] | Hi, Lori, I’m Ted. I’ll be your customer this evening. | 你好 Lori 我是Ted 我是你今晚的顾客 |
| [09:45] | Hey, Lori, before you go, tell me, what do you get when you cross a canary with a lawn mower? | 嘿 Lori 你走之前 告诉我 拿除草机从金丝雀身上碾过去会怎样? |
| [09:48] | No hints.No hints. | 不准提示 不准提示 |
| [09:50] | She’s right. Ted, you maybe single and childless, but you’re totally a dorky dad. | 她是对的 Ted 你单身没有孩子 但你已经完全是个傻瓜爸爸了 |
| [09:57] | I don’t think I like your tone, young lady. | 我不喜欢你的语气 小姑娘 |
| [10:01] | Marshall, Not a Father’s Day is a hit! | Marshall 不是爸爸节 |
| [10:04] | Laraby and Finklestein are helping me celebrate. Check it. | Laraby和Finklestein在帮我庆祝 看看 |
| [10:07] | World’s Greatest Not A Dad mugs. | 世界第一不是爸爸马克杯 |
| [10:10] | There’s, uh… ha! Who’s Not Your Daddy? T-shirts. | 这是 哈! “谁不是你爸爸”T恤 |
| [10:13] | Both available at Not A Father’s Day.Com. | 都在不是爸爸节.com上买得到 |
| [10:16] | Oh, check out the greeting cards. | 看看这贺卡 |
| [10:21] | “For everything you do for yourself,For all the scotch upon your shelf,” | 为了每件你为自己做的事 为了所有你酒柜上的威士忌 |
| [10:25] | “Your Porsche Carrera rules the freeway,Here’s wishing you an all night three-way.” | 你的保时捷Carrera主宰着高速公路 祝愿你拥有美好的”三人行”之夜 |
| [10:31] | Happy Not a Father’s Day.” | 不是爸爸节快乐 |
| [10:33] | Check out the illustration. No, no. | 看看插图 不不 |
| [10:38] | It appears to be some sort of Asian hooker. | 看起来跟个亚裔妓女一样 |
| [10:41] | Yes. Because on Not a Father’s Day, | 没错 为了庆祝不是爸爸节 |
| [10:44] | you get a Thai you’d actually wear. | 泰国舞女如影随形啦 |
| [10:46] | Wordplay five! | 俏皮话大闯关! |
| [10:49] | She’s really kicking your ass here, Mosby. | 她可是一拳击中你要害咯 Mosby |
| [10:51] | Your only hope is to go negative. | 我看你得采用驳倒对方的方式反击了 |
| [10:53] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [10:54] | I’ll tell you why my opponent is saying all this. | 我来告诉你为什么我的对手会有如此论断 |
| [10:57] | Three words: scared of babies. | 三个字:恐娃症 |
| [11:01] | What? That is crazy.I am not. | 什么? 太荒谬了 我才没有呢 |
| [11:04] | Oh, yeah? | 哦 真的? |
| [11:05] | Remember that time you met my cousin and her kid? | 记得你遇到我表姐和她的宝宝的那次吗? |
| [11:07] | Oh, she is so cute! | 哦 她真可爱啊! |
| [11:10] | Oh, do you want to hold her? | 哦 你想抱抱吗? |
| [11:16] | Or the baby shower Lily threw for her friend Erika? | 还有Lily给她朋友Erika办的新生儿派对? |
| [11:21] | Are you leing that baby sniff you? | 你在让宝宝闻你的手吗? |
| [11:23] | I don’t want to get bitten. | 我可不想她咬我 |
| [11:26] | And don’t forget about… | 还有别忘了… |
| [11:32] | – Talking baby commercial? – Talking baby commercial. | – 宝宝脱口秀广告? – 宝宝脱口秀广告 |
| [11:36] | But you’re not like that, Lily. | 但你不同 Lily |
| [11:37] | You love kids and they love you. | 你爱孩子 孩子也爱你 |
| [11:39] | Yes, I’m loveable, pretty and wise, but is it enough? | 没错 我确实讨人喜欢 既漂亮又聪明 光这些有什么用啊? |
| [11:43] | Look, it all comes down to one word: you. | 瞧 实际上这只关于一个人:你 |
| [11:46] | Are you ready to put your own dreams on the back burner? | 你打算放弃自己的梦想了? |
| [11:49] | Grad school, teaching art at the college level? | 去美术研究院 或者教大学生级别的美术? |
| [11:51] | Look, you need to focus on Project Lily before you can start Project Baby. | 瞧 Lily 在你开始宝贝计划之前 首先得有自己的Lily计划 |
| [11:56] | If you don’t, you’ll always regret it. | 如果不是这样的话 你会经常反悔的 |
| [11:58] | And that wouldn’t be fair to you or the baby. | 那样对你和孩子都是不公平的 |
| [12:02] | What’s that? | 这是啥啊? |
| [12:04] | It’s Jeremy’s sock. | 这是Jeremy的小袜子 |
| [12:08] | I’m having a baby. | 我要生宝宝 |
| [12:10] | But what about all the things I just said? | 但我刚才说的那些话你听进去了吗? |
| [12:13] | But, but sock. | 但是 但是 小袜子耶 |
| [12:15] | But what about Marshall working all the time? | 那么Marshall整天工作的事呢? |
| [12:17] | But sock. | 但是 小袜子耶 |
| [12:18] | But, but Project Lily! | 但是 Lily你自己的计划呢! |
| [12:21] | Little fishies on it. | 上面还有小鱼耶 |
| [12:23] | We made all of these arguments, | 我们做这番争论 |
| [12:25] | and a sock is what makes your decision for you? | 还抵不过一只袜子 它让你做出决定? |
| [12:28] | I guess that was the sock-out punch, huh, Robin? | 我想这就是袜子冲击波的威力吧 对吧 Robin? |
| [12:32] | Shut up, Dad. | 闭嘴 老爹 |
| [12:33] | You shut up, baby hater. | 你才闭嘴 恐娃症的 |
| [12:35] | Babies are scary, okay? | 宝宝很恐怖的 好吧? |
| [12:37] | They have giant eyes. | 他们老睁着大眼睛 |
| [12:38] | And then, come on, the soft spot? | 还有 拜托 脑袋后面所谓不能碰的”软点”? |
| [12:40] | If there’s gonna be a self-destruct button, | 如果这是自毁按钮 |
| [12:42] | at least hide it somewhere it won’t accidentally get pressed. | 至少也长点什么盖着 不那么容易被碰到嘛 |
| [12:47] | Where’s Lily? | Lily哪去了? |
| [12:50] | Hey, did you drink any of this? | 嘿 你喝了这个吗? |
| [12:51] | – Not a drop. – Me, neither. | – 一滴未喝 – 我也没喝 |
| [12:56] | Eriksen, meeting in five minutes. | Eriksen 五分钟会开会 |
| [12:58] | And you’d better bring your A-game for Mr. Li. | 你最好把你A策划拿给李先生看看 |
| [13:01] | That guy haunts my nightmares. | 那家伙就是我的噩梦啊 |
| [13:03] | Anyway, have fun out there, kid. | 不管怎么说 去倒腾吧 小子 |
| [13:09] | Put a baby in me, Marshall. I’m ready. | 给我播种吧 Marshall 我准备好了 |
| [13:19] | Lily… Lily, what are you doing here? | Lily… Lily 你在这干嘛啊? |
| [13:21] | I’m ready, Marshall. Tonight’s the night. | 我准备好了 Marshall 就是今晚了 |
| [13:24] | Put your melon-headed spawn in my belly. | 把你那西瓜头的种子 产到我肚子里去吧 |
| [13:27] | What? | 什么? |
| [13:28] | Yeah!Come on, right now. Baby me. I’m ready. Oh, hey, look. | 耶! 来嘛 趁现在啊 让我生孩子吧 我准备好了 嘿 看啊 |
| [13:33] | The guys in the next building are waving at me. | 隔壁楼的那些家伙们向我挥手呢 |
| [13:36] | Hello, gentlemen! | 先生们 大家好! |
| [13:38] | We’re going to make a baby! | 我们要开始造人啦! |
| [13:43] | I can’t believe we lost her. | 我真不敢相信 竟然跟丢她了 |
| [13:44] | See, this is exactly why I’m never having kids. | 瞧 这就是为什么我决不生小孩 |
| [13:46] | You can’t let them out of your sight for even a second. | 你一秒钟不盯着他们都不行 |
| [13:49] | I can’t find my file. | 我找不到我的文件了 |
| [13:50] | I pulled out “A” through “G.” | 我把A到G都找出来了 |
| [13:57] | They just sit there with their stupid bottles. | 他们只会坐在那里抱着奶瓶 |
| [14:03] | They cry. | 他们还哭闹 |
| [14:13] | They spit up. | 他们还呕吐 |
| [14:18] | And that’s why kids suck. | 这就是孩子让人讨厌的原因 |
| [14:20] | Wow, it is a good thing we broke up. | 哇 看来我们分手了还真是好事啊 |
| [14:22] | I forgot how totally psycho you are on the kids thing. | 我都忘了 一谈起孩子你就神经质了 |
| [14:24] | I’m psycho? | 我神经质? |
| [14:26] | Any time you even hear the word “kids,” | 每次你听到”孩子”这个词啊 |
| [14:28] | you get two little lactation stains on your shirt. | 你好像都时刻准备着要做奶爸一样 |
| [14:31] | Thank God you’re not a mom. | 老天爷啊 多亏你没有孩子 |
| [14:33] | You are such an ice queen. | 你就是个冷血师太啊 |
| [14:34] | Any baby nursing from you would get brain freeze. | 被你养大的孩子啊 估计也都是脑残 |
| [14:37] | Look, don’t paint me as some sort of a freak for wanting to remain independent. | 瞧 别想把我损成特立独行怪胎 |
| [14:41] | There are plenty of normal people out there who don’t want to have kids. | 石阶上有许多不想要孩子的正常人 |
| [14:43] | Brother, lay your hand on this box of condoms and repeat after me. | 伙计 把你的手放在这避孕套盒子上 跟着我起誓 |
| [14:48] | I, state the fake name you give to women. | 我 然后说你给娘们介绍自己时用的化名 |
| [14:50] | I, Johnny Banana. | 我 Johnny Banana |
| [14:53] | Vow to always choose wet T-shirts over wet diapers. Vow to always… | 发誓 将永远选择湿的T-恤胜于湿的尿布 发誓 永远… |
| [14:58] | Yeah, you’re in great company there. | 对哇 你们阵容强大啊 |
| [15:01] | I’m gonna look for Lily in the bathroom. | 我去洗手间看看Lily在不在 |
| [15:03] | While I’m in there, I’ll grab you a tampon. | 到时给你带个内置棉条回来吧 |
| [15:05] | Great.Great, and when you’re done shaking off at the urinal, | 不错 不错 那么你在小便池上抖擞完了后 |
| [15:07] | maybe you could ask the wizard to give you a heart. | 也许你可以叫巫师给你安个心脏 |
| [15:10] | You know what? Maybe I should find somewhere else to stay this weekend. | 你知道吗? 我看我这周得找别的地方住了 |
| [15:13] | – No argument here. – Fine. | – 我没异议 – 很好 |
| [15:14] | Great. | 很好 |
| [15:15] | Welcome to our fraternity of non-paternity. | 欢迎加入我们不为人父兄弟会 |
| [15:20] | He is one of us. | 他也是我们的一员了 |
| [15:24] | Gentlemen, Mr. Li, | 先生们 李先生 |
| [15:27] | if you would all please open to page five of your merger documents. I think the… | 请你们打开手头文件的第五页 我想说… |
| [15:36] | What is it, Eriksen? | 怎么啦 Eriksen? |
| [15:37] | Nothing. I just think that you look… very nice today. | 没事 我只是觉得你今天看起来…很不错 |
| [15:54] | What are you looking at? | 你瞧什么呢? |
| [15:56] | I am looking at the future… | 我瞧见我们的未来宏图… |
| [16:00] | of our two companies, and it looks very… naked. | 我们两家公司的未来 看起来非常…显露无”衣” |
| [16:06] | Would you excuse me just for a brief second? | 抱歉 我出去小会 好吗? |
| [16:12] | Did anyone else see the drunk chick? | 你们都没瞧见那个醉酒小妞吗? |
| [16:17] | Hey, you guys didn’t have to… | 嘿 你们不需这么客气… |
| [16:19] | It’s a picture of me with no kids. | 是我的照片 无孩子版的 |
| [16:22] | And there’s macaroni glued on the frame. | 相框边上还贴着通心粉哎 |
| [16:24] | Guys, I love it. | 伙计们 我爱死它了 |
| [16:26] | Well, Lily’s not in there. | 嗯 Lily不在那 |
| [16:28] | Your phone rang. I answered it. I hope you don’t mind. | 刚你电话响了 我接了 希望你别介意 |
| [16:30] | Marshall’s got Lily.She’s fine. | Marshall找到Lily了 她没事 |
| [16:32] | Oh, thank God. | 哦 谢天谢地 |
| [16:35] | What? | 什么? |
| [16:38] | When I was putting your phone back, and, uh, I found something in your bag. | 当我把你手机放回的时候 在你的包里找到了些东东 |
| [16:41] | I have a permit for that. | 我保证 那可不违法 |
| [16:42] | And the other thing was a gift. | 另外那个…只是个礼物 |
| [16:43] | No. This. | 不是的 是这个 |
| [16:48] | You stole Jeremy’s sock. | 你偷偷拿走了Jeremy小袜子 |
| [16:50] | No, I didn’t. | 不 我才没有 |
| [16:51] | I don’t know how that got in there. It must’ve fallen in. Weird! | 我也不知道这怎么来的 可能刚好掉进包里的吧 白痴! |
| [16:55] | Fallen in? | 掉进包里的? |
| [16:56] | Or Lily put it in there as a joke. That bitch be drunk. | 或者是Lily跟我开玩笑放进去的吧 那婊子喝醉了 |
| [17:02] | Okay, I took it. It’s just… so cute. | 好吧 是我拿的 它真的是…很可爱 |
| [17:08] | Sock. | 小袜子耶 |
| [17:10] | Robin Scherbatsky | 你那不生孩子的铁心开始溶化啦? Robin Scherbatsky, are you warming to the idea of having children? |
| [17:14] | No. I don’t know. Maybe someday. | 没有 我不知道 以后也许吧 |
| [17:19] | When I’m, like, 70. Science will catch up. | 当我 70岁那天 科技会让我无所不能 |
| [17:23] | Look, I’m just… I’m confused lately. I’m unemployed. I’m living on a couch. | 瞧 我只是… 我最近很迷茫啊 我失业了 我寄居沙发一角 |
| [17:29] | Yeah. It’s been a rough couple of months for both of us. | 没错 我们这几个月都不好过呢 |
| [17:35] | Hey, I have a spare bedroom. | 嘿 我还有间空房 |
| [17:37] | Why don’t you stay with me while you look for a place? | 既然找房 为什么不搬来跟我住? |
| [17:40] | – Really? – Yeah. | – 真的? – 没错 |
| [17:42] | Thanks, Ted. I already have some leads, so it’ll be one week, two weeks tops. | 谢谢你 Ted 我已经在着手找了 可能打扰你一周 最多两周 |
| [17:46] | And that’s how your Aunt Robin moved in with me. | 这就是你们的Robin阿姨 搬来和我住的全过程啦 |
| [17:51] | I’m bored. Let’s go dancing. | 好无聊哦 我们来跳舞吧 |
| [17:54] | Oh, let’s rob a liquor store! | 哦 咱去打劫烟酒店吧! |
| [17:56] | Lily, we’re not going anywhere, okay? | Lily 我们哪儿也不去 好吗? |
| [17:58] | Whenever we go somewhere when you’re drunk, | 每次你酒醉时 无论我们想去哪 |
| [17:59] | you always fall asleep as soon as we get in the… | 只要我们一坐进… 你立马倒头大睡 |
| [18:03] | We’re going dancing! | 我们去跳舞啦! |
| [18:06] | We’re gonna party all night long! | 我们整晚都在晚会上疯 |
| [18:11] | Hey, can you circle the block a couple times just to make sure she’s really down? | 嘿 你能不能就绕着街道转几圈 让我确定她睡过去了? |
| [18:16] | Sure thing. | 没问题 |
| [18:19] | Latest Not A Father’s Day brainstorm: | 最新的不是爸爸节快乐的头脑风暴来啦: |
| [18:22] | a pregnancy test, but instead of a little, blue line, | 早孕测试棒 不用蓝线表示的 |
| [18:25] | there’s a little, blue Barney going like this. | 而是做成小小的蓝色的Barney头像 就像这样 |
| [18:28] | Barney, Not A Father’s Day is lame. | Barney 不是爸爸节是个狗P节日 |
| [18:31] | It’s a holiday for losers. | 专为失败者准备的节日 |
| [18:33] | What are you…? What’re you talking about? | 你这是…? 你这是什么意思? |
| [18:34] | That’s a great group of bros. | 我们那快活的弟兄们多着呢 |
| [18:36] | Barney, it’s the Cheerleader Effect. | Barney 这就是拉拉队效应 |
| [18:38] | Uh, no, Ted. | �� 不是的 Ted |
| [18:39] | That only works for chicks. | 那只对小妞们管用 |
| [18:41] | Take a good look at each one of those guys individually. | 你好好的观察下他们每一个人 单独的 |
| [19:00] | These geniuses are not childless by choice, my friend. | 那些家伙并不是甘愿不要孩子的 伙计 |
| [19:04] | – Good night, Barney. – Good night. | – 晚安 Barney – 晚安 |
| [19:15] | Sock. | 袜子 |
| [19:20] | Do I smell chocolate chip pancakes? | 有巧克力片薄饼的味道? |
| [19:22] | No, you smell “Chocolate chip I’m sorry I was such a drunk idiot” pancakes. | 不是 你该闻到”巧克力片我很抱歉 我是个白痴酒鬼”薄饼的味道 |
| [19:28] | Oh, is there any “Wish I hadn’t puked on your shirt” bacon? | 哦 是否还有一丝 “希望我没吐到你衣服上”的培根味道啊? |
| [19:31] | There sure is. | 当然有啊 |
| [19:33] | Baby… | 宝贝… |
| [19:34] | I’m so sorry about last night. I know I was a mess. | 昨晚的事 我很抱歉 我知道我惹事了 |
| [19:37] | I… I just started freaking out about whether we’re ready to be parents. | 我… 我只是不知道我们是否准备好了为人父母而抓狂 |
| [19:43] | But you took such good care of me. | 但是你那么照顾我 |
| [19:45] | I know you’re gonna be a great dad. | 我知道你肯定会是个好爸爸 |
| [19:47] | – I don’t want to be a dad right now. – What? | – 我现在不想当爸爸 – 什么? |
| [19:51] | Last night, it was just… Between balancing work and drunk Baby Lily, | 昨晚上 在兼顾工作与照顾酒醉Lily婴儿之间 |
| [19:56] | it was too much. | 就够我受得了 |
| [19:57] | I’m just getting started at this job, | 我才刚工作 |
| [19:59] | and I’m working such long hours, I mean… | 我工作时间那么长 我的意思是… |
| [20:02] | Look, I love you. | 瞧 我爱你 |
| [20:04] | And I absolutely want to have kids someday. | 我也很想哪天能有孩子 |
| [20:06] | I just… I want to be ready for it. | 我只是… 我想为这天做好准备 |
| [20:11] | Me, too. | 我也是 |
| [20:13] | And whenever we are ready, | 到我们都准备好的时候 |
| [20:16] | I know you’re going to be amazing. | 我知道你一定会很棒的 |
| [20:19] | You, too. | 你也是 |
| [20:23] | Hey, do you want to go have completely protected sex right now? | 嘿 想不想来场安全措施做足的性爱啊? |
| [20:28] | I do. | 当然 |
| [20:29] | Do you want to finish your bacon first? | 你想先吃完培根吗? |
| [20:33] | You are the perfect woman. | 你真是个完美太太 |
| [20:42] | And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon | *摇篮里的猫咪和银汤匙啊* |
| [20:46] | Little Boy Blue and the Man on the Moon | *小男孩好伤心 爸爸去得那么远* |
| [20:49] | When you comin’ home, Dad? “I don’t know when” | *爸爸 你何时归哦? “不知归期”* |
| [20:52] | We’ll get together then, son | *我们定会重逢 儿子* |
| [20:55] | I’ll know we’ll have a good time then. | *从此幸福快乐的生活* |