| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:02] | In May of 2009, I was on the verge of scoring my first big client as an independent architect. | 2009年5月 我作为一位独立设计的建筑师 马上面临着第一位大客户的首肯 |
| [00:07] | I was willing to do anything to make it happen. | 我愿意拼尽全力来争取 |
| [00:09] | Here’s what we want,son. It’s real simple. | 小子 这就是我们想要的 真的很简单 |
| [00:12] | We’re opening a restaurant called Rib Town and we want it to be shaped like a cowboy hat. | 我们要开一家叫肋骨城的餐厅 希望它的外形像个牛仔帽 |
| [00:20] | Anything. | 愿意做任何事 |
| [00:21] | A cowboy hat? | 牛仔帽? |
| [00:23] | That’s brilliant. I love it! | 太棒了 我爱死这想法了! |
| [00:26] | I mean,nothing says delicious like the inside of a cowboy hat,right? | 我是说 在牛仔帽外形的餐厅进餐 再美味不过了 对吧? |
| [00:29] | Look,I’m telling you– I’m your guy. | 瞧 我想说 我就是你们需要的人 |
| [00:31] | I – I think I was born to design this building. I just… | 我想我是为了设计这个餐厅而生的 我已经… |
| [00:37] | I see it. | 看到了蓝图 |
| [00:38] | I don’t see it. I don’t see it. I don’t see it. | 我根本啥也看不到 看不到 看不到 |
| [00:42] | What’s so good about it? | 你有啥好开心的? |
| [00:44] | Up all night? | 一宿没睡? |
| [00:45] | I told these guys I have a vision for this thing. | 我告诉那两家伙 说我已经有了餐厅设计的构思 |
| [00:48] | They want to see a pitch in a week and I got nothing. | 他们这周内就要看设计图 我却什么也设计不出来 |
| [00:50] | It’s cute. | 挺可爱的嘛 |
| [00:52] | – Cute? – Yeah. | – 可爱? – 对啊 |
| [00:53] | Robin,I could be designing concert halls and bridges. | Robin 我本该去设计音乐厅和大桥的 |
| [00:57] | Bridges so beautiful they could be in museums. | 桥梁如此优雅 甚至可以被放进博物馆 |
| [01:00] | And I could design those museums. | 我甚至也可以设计那些博物馆 |
| [01:03] | But what am I designing instead? What has my career come to? | 但瞧瞧我在干什么呢? 我事业的前景在哪呢? |
| [01:06] | A two-story Stetson with outdoor ding on the brim. | 一座两层的牛仔帽 前门还往两遍凹 |
| [01:11] | It’s a sick cosmic joke. | 真是个有悖宇宙伦理的笑话 |
| [01:13] | The universe is conspiring against me. | 这个宇宙都在合谋陷害我 |
| [01:16] | You just need to get out of the house. Take a walk. Get a bagel. | 你需要出去 走走溜溜 买个百吉饼 |
| [01:19] | Yeah. Yeah,that’ll solve everything. | 没错 没错 一切就都解决了 |
| [01:21] | I haven’t slept for 34 hours, but a bagel is the answer. | 我34小时都没合眼了 但一个百吉饼就解决这一切了 |
| [01:24] | A cinnamon raisin bagel with a little cream cheese. | 一个肉桂葡萄干百吉饼再抹少量乳酪 |
| [01:28] | Actually,that sounds pretty good– I’m going to get a bagel. | 事实上 听起来不错 我去买个百吉饼吧 |
| [01:31] | Oh,uh,bring an umbrella. | 哦 记得带把伞 |
| [01:32] | It’s supposed to rain, according to Galoshes, our weather clown. | 据Galoshes报道说会下雨 他是我们的天气小丑 |
| [01:35] | Your show has a clown who does the weather? | 你们的节目还有小丑来播报天气? |
| [01:37] | That’s a little cheesy, don’t you think? | 听上去很搞笑 你不觉得吗? |
| [01:39] | Yeah,and what’s that restaurant you’re designing shaped like,Hoss? | 没错没错 牛仔 你设计的餐厅是什么样子的? |
| [01:44] | Fine. You want me out of the house, I’ll get out of the house. | 好吧 你想我出去 那我就出去好了 |
| [01:48] | Can’t wait to see what the universe has lined up for me out there. | 来不及想瞧瞧花花宇宙在外面又给我准备了什么了 |
| [01:56] | Kids,I’ve been telling you the story of how I met your mother. | 孩子们 我一直在讲我如何遇见你们妈妈的故事 |
| [02:00] | And while there’s many things to learn from this story, this may be the biggest. | 在所有的故事里 这一件也许是最重要的 |
| [02:04] | The great moments of your life won’t necessarily be the things you do. | 你们人生的重要时刻 不是因为你们做了什么 |
| [02:08] | They’ll also be the things that happen to you. | 而是你们的际遇 |
| [02:10] | Now,I’m not saying you can’t take action to affect the outcome of your life. | 我并不是说你们对于生活无所作为 |
| [02:14] | You have to take action, and you will. | 你们必须要行动起来 你们也会这样做的 |
| [02:18] | But never forget that, on any day, | 但别忘了 某一天 |
| [02:20] | you could step out the front door and your whole life can change forever. | 你们踏出前门 一生就会发生改变 |
| [02:24] | You see,the universe has a plan,kids, and that plan is always in motion. | 孩子们 你们知道宇宙有自己的定数 它处于不断变化之中 |
| [02:30] | A butterfly flaps its wings… | 一只蝴蝶扇动翅膀… |
| [02:33] | and it starts to rain. | 天就开始下雨 |
| [02:35] | It’s a scary thought. But it’s also kind of wonderful. | 听上去有点诡异 却又如此美妙 |
| [02:38] | All these little parts of the machine constantly working, | 这些就如机器部件不断运转 |
| [02:41] | making sure that you end up exactly where you’re supposed to be, | 确保你能来到对的地方 |
| [02:44] | exactly when you’re supposed to be there. | 能赶上对的时间 |
| [02:47] | The right place at the right time. | 在对的时间来到对的地方 |
| [03:07] | ***le that I ended up on that street corner. | 孩子们 如奇迹一般 我来到了街角 |
| [03:10] | especially when you consider how easy it would have been not to end up there. | 尤其是当你们知道错过这一切是多么的容易 |
| [03:13] | I mean,for instance, when I first stepped out of the apartment, | 比如 当我刚出门时 |
| [03:16] | I almost went right instead of left. | 我差点就右拐 而不是左拐 |
| [03:18] | Why didn’t I go right? | 我为何不右拐呢? |
| [03:19] | Well,to answer that, we have to go back a few days. | 要回答这个问题 我们要说说前几天发生的事 |
| [03:22] | As you know,back then, your Aunt Robin hosted a morning show. | 你们知道 那时你们的Robin阿姨主持一档早间节目 |
| [03:25] | Now Eunice here makes all of these purses herself. | 这些手提包都是Eunice亲手做的 |
| [03:29] | They’re hand embroidered with the world’s finest silk. | 它们是用全世界最好的丝绸 手工刺绣而成的 |
| [03:31] | And each one takes months to make. | 每一个都要花费数月的时间 |
| [03:34] | I cannot emphasize how much work goes into… | 我都无需强调这其中花费的功夫了… |
| [03:41] | Go to weather,you idiot. | 切播天气预报啊 白痴 |
| [03:45] | Hey,everybody. | 嗨 大家好 |
| [03:46] | We got a high pressure system coming in from the west and… | 有股高气压将从西面袭来… |
| [03:51] | On the plus side, I bought the cutest purse today. | 从好的方面看 我今天买到了最可爱的手提包 |
| [03:55] | So,wait, why did you throw up? | 那么 慢着 你怎么会呕吐呢? |
| [03:58] | – You don’t want to know. – Come on. Tell me. | – 你不会想知道的 – 好啦 说吧 |
| [04:02] | I’m pregnant. | 我怀孕了 |
| [04:03] | I will raise this child with you. | 我会和你一起抚养这个孩子的 |
| [04:05] | You are not alone in this. | 你不是一个人在’战斗” |
| [04:06] | We can even get married if you want,but I still want to see other girls, | 如果你愿意我们可以结婚 但我还想和别的女生约会 |
| [04:09] | so it would have to be one of those kinds of marriages. | 那么这必须得是种特殊的婚姻 |
| [04:10] | God,stop it. I’m not pregnant. It’s food poisoning.God. | 天啊 够啦 我没有怀孕 只是食物中毒 天啊 (骗人^^ 你明明就是怀孕了) |
| [04:16] | I ate something from this place and,three hours later, I was spewing like an open hydrant. | 我某个地方吃了早饭 3个钟头后 我就像开闸的消防栓一样呕吐不止 |
| [04:22] | From where? | 哪儿? |
| [04:23] | Well,that’s a gross question. | 这个可就是个粗鲁的问题了 |
| [04:25] | No,where was the food from? | 不是问这个 问你在哪儿吃的? |
| [04:29] | – I don’t want to tell you. – What? | – 我不想跟你说 – 什么? |
| [04:30] | Ted,Ted,Ted! Go to YouTube. | Ted Ted Ted! 去YouTube网站看看 |
| [04:32] | Put in “Robin Scherbatsky morning show vomit” Oh,hey,Robin. Home so soon. | 搜索”Robin Scherbatsky晨间呕吐秀” 哦 嘿 Robin 这么快就回来啦 |
| [04:36] | Someone already put it on YouTube? | 都有人把这放到YouTube上了? |
| [04:38] | Yeah. Someone. | 没错 某人 |
| [04:42] | So,uh… Why you been throwing up? You pregnant? | 那么… 你怎么会呕吐? 你有了? |
| [04:44] | Yeah,Barney. I’m pregnant. | 没错 Barney 我有了 |
| [04:51] | So,wait,why won’t you tell me where you got food poisoning? | 等等 你为啥不能告诉我你在哪食物中毒的? |
| [04:53] | You love this place. If I tell you, it’ll just ruin it. | 你喜欢那家店 一旦我告诉你 就毁了它的美好形象了 |
| [04:57] | – Okay,that makes sense. – Yeah. | – 好吧 也有道理 – 很好 |
| [05:00] | Don’t tell me. | 别告诉我 |
| [05:02] | Is it that Indian place where the cat jumps on all the tables? | 是那家猫咪满桌滚的印度餐厅吗? |
| [05:04] | I’m not saying. | 我不会说的 |
| [05:05] | That Spanish place with the baby’s crib in the middle of the restaurant? | 是那家店中央有张婴儿床的 西班牙餐厅吗? |
| [05:07] | I’m not saying. | 我不会说的 |
| [05:10] | Oh,God,no. No,no,no. Is it this place? | 哦 天啊 不 不 不 是这里吗? |
| [05:14] | – Tell me,damn you! – Fine. You really want to know? | – 告诉我 该死的! – 好吧 你真想知道? |
| [05:16] | Yes! | 想! |
| [05:18] | – It’s Schlegel’s Bagels. – No! Why did you tell me that? | – 是在Schlegel的百吉饼店 – 不! 你干嘛要告诉我啊? |
| [05:23] | Schlegel’s? Thanks a lot,Robin. | Schlegel的店? 多谢你了 Robin |
| [05:26] | Now I’m going to have to try to find another place in New York That serves bagels. | 这下我要在纽约城重新找一家百吉饼店了 |
| [05:32] | So,you see,kids,if I had gone to Schlegel’s Bagels as usual, I would have taken a right. | 所以孩子们你们看 如果我像平常一样 去买Schlegel的百吉饼 我就会右拐了 |
| [05:37] | I would have gotten a bagel… | 我会买上一个百吉饼… |
| [05:39] | gone home, worked on the old hat building, and you kids might never have been born. | 回家去 继续设计那帽子餐厅 就不会你们了 |
| [05:44] | But I turned left instead, to go to my second-favorite bagel place and the rest is history. | 但我左拐 去我第二喜欢的百吉饼店 余下发生的事才是历史 |
| [05:50] | Of course,I stopped at that magazine stand on the way. | 当然 我半路在报刊亭停了一下 |
| [05:54] | Why did I stop there? Here’s why. | 我为何会停下? 这就是原因 |
| [05:57] | Yes. Yes… | 好 好! |
| [06:02] | Bro’s Lifemagazine. | 看这本”男人终生的杂志” |
| [06:05] | Page 83. Check it. | 第83页 看看 |
| [06:08] | “What Your Paintball Gun Says About Your Personality”? | “从漆弹枪选择看你的个性”? |
| [06:11] | Below that. | 下面那行 |
| [06:13] | “That Last Five Pounds: How to Get Her to Lose Them.” | “最后5磅: 教她如何减重” |
| [06:15] | Above that. | 上面那句 |
| [06:17] | Petra Petrova Petra Petrova. | |
| [06:19] | Petra Petrova Petra Petrova. | |
| [06:21] | Bro’s Lifemagazine’s Girl of the Year for May. | “男人终生的杂志”年度女孩的5月之花 |
| [06:25] | A delicate flower in stiletto pumps and leopard panties, straddling an ATV. | 穿着细高跟和豹纹内裤的性感妞儿 横扫整个亚视 |
| [06:30] | These magazines are so lame. I mean,she’s probably airbrushed and enhanced. | 这本杂志真无趣 她也许不过炒作和包装出来的 |
| [06:33] | I have a date with her. | 我和她有个约会 |
| [06:34] | You are my hero! Are you serious? How do you have a date with her? | 你简直是我的英雄! 当真? 你怎么能泡到她的? |
| [06:37] | Not part of the story. | 这不是故事的重点 |
| [06:39] | Ted,I have been waiting a long time to say this. | Ted 为了说这个 我等了很久 |
| [06:43] | This girl is the one. | 这是我要的女孩 |
| [06:45] | Of course she’s the one. You have to marry those. Her. | 当然啦 你应该跟这些女孩结婚 这个女孩 |
| [06:49] | Marry? No. | 结婚? 才不 |
| [06:52] | I have something much,much more special in mind. | 我有更好的主意 |
| [06:56] | Petra here,if all goes well, will be my– wait for it– two hundredth. | 这个Petra 如果一切顺利 将会是我的–等等– 第200个妞儿 |
| [07:01] | Sorry,I couldn’t wait. It’s all too exciting. | 抱歉 我心急了 太令人兴奋了 |
| [07:03] | Your two hundredth, as in “sex with”? | 你的第200个 “上床对象”? |
| [07:06] | As in “sex with.” I request the highest of fives. | “上床对象” 我想来个最高的击掌 |
| [07:11] | Not if I was wearing a HazMat suit. | 我只有穿着防护服才敢接掌 |
| [07:14] | 200 is too many. | 200个也太多了 |
| [07:16] | Oh,right,’cause there can be too many of something wonderful. | 哦没错 也许爽的东西太多了 |
| [07:20] | “Hey,Babe Ruth, easy,big fella. | “嘿 Babe Ruth 悠着点 大块头 (美国棒坛传奇人物) |
| [07:23] | Let’s not hit too many homers.” | 咱别击出太多本垒打啦” |
| [07:24] | “Hey, “Steve Guttenberg, “maybe just make three Police Academymovies. | “嘿 斯蒂芬.斯皮尔伯格 只拍三部警匪片就够了 |
| [07:28] | America’s laughed enough.” | 美国人笑够了” |
| [07:30] | Who are these girls? | 她们都是谁? |
| [07:32] | That was rhetorical. Don’t show me the list. | 我是在讽刺你 别给我看名单啊 |
| [07:34] | 199 satisfied customers. | 199位满意客户 |
| [07:37] | Anyway,the big night is Thursday. | 周四才是大日子 |
| [07:40] | I’m having a celebratory soiree beforehand at MacLaren’s. | 我要在MacLaren酒吧 预先举办一个庆祝派对 |
| [07:43] | Prepare a toast. | 准备祝酒词 |
| [07:44] | Black tie optional, but preferred. | 黑领结可选戴 但最好都戴 |
| [07:46] | Gifts are, look,I would say unnecessary, but follow your heart. | 至于礼物 瞧 我会说不需要 但你们尽可随意 |
| [07:50] | Barney,200’s too many. | Barney 200个太多了 |
| [07:51] | – It’s not too many. – It’s too many! | – 一点都不多 – 太多了! |
| [07:53] | – It’s not too many. – Thank you. | – 并不算太多 – 谢谢 |
| [07:56] | Oh,no,don’t get me wrong. | 哦 别误解我的意思 |
| [07:57] | You’re disgusting,and the cops should probably clamp a boot on your genitals, | 你个混蛋 警察早该给你的小JJ钳个枷锁 |
| [08:01] | but that number should be higher. | 但这个数目应该更高才对 |
| [08:03] | After Barney told me about all this, I crunched the numbers and,well… | 自从Barney告诉我这些之后 我分析了下这些数字 然后… |
| [08:07] | I had some charts made up. | 我做了些图表 |
| [08:11] | Barney here hits on roughly 20 girls a week. | 这里显示 ‘粗’率估算Barney每周泡20个妞儿 |
| [08:13] | Whoa,it’s way more than 20. | 哦 多于20个 |
| [08:15] | And B. Smooth don’t do nothing roughly. | 还有 是温柔的 不是’粗’的 |
| [08:18] | Let’s say 20. | 那我们就算是20个吧 |
| [08:20] | So,20 girls a week means 1,040 girls a year. | 那么一周20妞儿就意味着一年1,040个 |
| [08:23] | In Barney’s 16 years of sexual activity, | 在Barney长达16年的性生活中 |
| [08:26] | that means he’s hit on 16,640 girls. | 也就意味着他泡过16,640个妞儿 |
| [08:31] | Now,if he’s bedded 199 of them, that is a success rate of… | 那么 如果他只上过其中的199个 那么成功率只是… |
| [08:37] | a little over one percent. | 比1%多一点 |
| [08:41] | That’s a batting average of 12, eight times worse | 这比击中一个安打的几率还差8倍 |
| [08:45] | than the career batting average of one-handed pitcher– | 是跟职业的独臂投手的安打率相比哦 |
| [08:49] | that’s right,pitcher– Jim Abbott. | 没错 投手–Jim Abbott (右手残疾的棒球运动员) |
| [08:55] | Jealous. Jealous. Hero. | 眼红者 眼红者 英雄 |
| [08:58] | Suspiciously quiet during this conversation about number of sex partners, hero. | 在此性伴侣数目的讨论中非常可疑沉默的女人 英雄 |
| [09:04] | It’s the grand total. That’s the only number that matters. | 这是个总计 总数才是关键 |
| [09:06] | Says who? | 谁说的? |
| [09:07] | Matthew Panning | Richmond港口中学的学生 Matthew Panning, the stud of Port Richmond Middle School. |
| [09:12] | Stinson,you’re such a dweeb-o. | Stinson 你真是个孬种 |
| [09:15] | I bet you never even done it with a girl. | 我敢打赌你从没干过一个妞儿 |
| [09:17] | Neither have you. | 你不也是 |
| [09:18] | How many times do I have to explain this? | 我还要强调多少回? |
| [09:21] | I’ve done it with 100 girls. | 我都上过100个妞儿了 |
| [09:22] | They’re seventh graders at my cousin’s school on Long Island. | 她们在长岛上七年级 我的表哥的同学 |
| [09:25] | Well,you know what,Matthew? | 好吧 你知道嘛 Matthew |
| [09:26] | Someday, I’m gonna do it with 200. | 总有一天 我要上200个 |
| [09:30] | Yeah. Call me whenthathappens. | 好啊 到时记得通知我 |
| [09:34] | And call him I will. | 我会打给他的 |
| [09:37] | I think he’s gonna say it again really slow. | 我猜他会慢慢地再说一次的 |
| [09:40] | Call him… | 我一定会… |
| [09:43] | I will. | 打给他的 |
| [09:45] | Hey,you listed Gaby Allan twice, as 78 and 162. | 嘿 你名单上写了2次Gaby Allan 第78条和第162条 |
| [09:49] | What? Let me see. | 什么? 让我看看 |
| [09:51] | Seventy… Once. Oh,my God. | 70… 一次 天啊 |
| [09:55] | Wait a… I counted the same girl twice? | 等下…同一个妞我算了2次? |
| [09:58] | That means I’m only at one 198? | 就是说只有198个? |
| [10:00] | Well,that only means that you’re half a percent less gross than we thought. | 说明你的猥琐度降低0.5个百分点 |
| [10:04] | I’m seducing a Czech supermodel in two hours. | 2小时后我要去勾搭捷克超模 |
| [10:07] | I can’t squander that on 199. Nooo! | 我不要她成为第199个 不! |
| [10:11] | Petra has to be 200. | Petra得是第200个 |
| [10:14] | Well,what are you going to do? | 你打算咋办? |
| [10:15] | I mean,it’s not like you’re going to find someone new to have sex with in the next two hours. | 我是说 要在接下来2小时内 找个妞上床简直难于上青天 |
| [10:19] | Barney Stinson, millionaire astronaut. | Barney Stinson 富豪宇航员 |
| [10:21] | Want to come back to my place and see some moon shells? | 想去我家看些玉螺不? |
| [10:22] | Go away. | 走开 |
| [10:23] | I just got back from my wife’s grave. | 我刚从妻子的墓地回来 |
| [10:25] | Put her in the ground a year ago today. Man,I miss her. | 去年的今天埋她入土 天哪 我好想她 |
| [10:27] | I sure could use some comfort. | 让我寻找些慰藉吧 |
| [10:28] | You’re creepy. | 你真变态 |
| [10:30] | Man,aren’t you sick of all the games? | 天哪 你还不厌倦红尘么? |
| [10:32] | I just want to settle down and have a gaggle of rug rats,like,right now. | 我只想安定下来 生一群小崽子 现在就想 |
| [10:35] | I have Mace, and I enjoy using it. | 我有防狼器 我很喜欢使用它 |
| [10:40] | Marshall? Marshall? | |
| [10:42] | knowing how important this is to me do you think Lily would even consider– | 现在对我来说千钧一发 你觉得Lily会不会愿意 |
| [10:45] | And by the way,I would do all the work… | 我愿意付出一切代价… |
| [10:46] | – I will end your life. – Right. | – 我会结果了你 – 好吧 |
| [10:55] | Where’d Barney go? It’s been over an hour. | Barney去哪啦? 都一个多小时了 |
| [10:57] | You know,looking over the names on this list, I’m not sensing a lot of ethnic diversity. | 瞅着名单上的名字 我觉得没多大种族差异性 |
| [11:02] | He should really look at that in himself. | 他真该仔细看看 |
| [11:06] | Okay. All done. 199 down,one more to go. | 好 完成 第199个搞定 还剩一个 |
| [11:11] | Hey,you done with your drink? | 嘿 你喝完了不? |
| [11:15] | There’s the stuff. | 真舒服 |
| [11:18] | What the hell happened to you? | 你到底咋回事? |
| [11:20] | So,there’s this girl at my gym– Pauline– | 我的健身房里有个女孩 Pauline |
| [11:24] | she’s been after me for some time. | 她追了我很久 |
| [11:26] | Why’d you wait until now? | 那你为啥等到现在? |
| [11:27] | She’s not exactly my type. | 她绝不是我喜欢的那型 |
| [11:29] | Looking good,Pauline. | 看上去不错 Pauline |
| [11:31] | You are gonna rip it up at the Women’s Pumping Iron Classic in Sarasota this fall. | 看来要在今秋的Sarasota 铁人三项比赛中搏击金牌哈 |
| [11:41] | So,um,I was thinking about you and me | 我在考虑我俩的事 |
| [11:45] | and if you’re still interested,um… | 要你对我还有感觉… |
| [11:49] | Okay,blondie, time for Mama’s cardio! | 好的 小黄毛 投入妈妈的怀抱吧! |
| [11:51] | Aw,geez! Mommy! | 天哪! 老妈! |
| [11:53] | Every inch of her tasted like roast beef and creatine. | 她的肌肤舔起来尽是 烤牛肉味 还有肌酸味 |
| [11:59] | But I did it. | 但我做到了 |
| [12:00] | I did it and I still have 30 minutes before I’m supposed to meet Petra. | 而且离Petra的约会还剩30分钟呢 |
| [12:03] | Robin,do you have any concealer handy? | Robin 你有遮瑕膏吗? |
| [12:05] | I’d really like to cover up some bruises and razor burn. | 我想把淤青 灼伤统统遮掉 |
| [12:08] | Uh,Barney,I hate to break this to you, but,um… | Barney 我不想打击你 可是… |
| [12:13] | What? | 啥? |
| [12:14] | Well,you did count Gaby Allan twice, | 你的确把Gaby Allan算了2次 |
| [12:17] | but,um,you also went from 138 to 138. | 可列表上138后仍是138 |
| [12:21] | You used the same number twice. | 同一个数字你写了2次 |
| [12:23] | Wait,so,that means Pauline wasn’t 199 Pauline was 200? | 等下 就是说Pauline不是第199个 而是第200个? |
| [12:28] | Congratulations! | 恭喜你! |
| [12:30] | No,I– That was supposed to be Petra! | 不 那位子是Petra的! |
| [12:33] | Petra was supposed to be 200! | Petra才是第200个! |
| [12:35] | Gorgeous,feminine, “Doesn’t wear a weight belt in bed,” Petra! | 美丽 娇柔 “床上不带配重腰带”的Petra! |
| [12:38] | Hey,come on. You made it to 200. | 嘿 拜托 你搞定200个了 |
| [12:41] | You should be proud. | 你该自豪才对 |
| [12:43] | You should be tested but you should be proud. | 你该去检查检查 但引以为豪先 |
| [12:46] | Who cares if Pauline doesn’t pose for bikini pictures in magazines? | Pauline的比基尼杂志照不摆姿势 也没人在乎 |
| [12:50] | Actually,she does. | 问题是她肯定会摆 |
| [12:51] | She’s gonna be in next week’s issue ofMuscle Sexxy. | 她将成为下周的性感肌肉女郎 |
| [12:54] | And like many of the ladies in that magazine, Sexxy has two X’s and one Y. | 和那本杂志里众多女人一样 有两条X和一条Y染色体 |
| [13:01] | And so,on my way to get a bagel, I stopped at a newsstand for a full minute | 所以在买百吉饼的路上 我在报亭前停留了一会 |
| [13:05] | to check out a picture of Barney’s 200th. | 瞅瞅Barney第200个妞的照片 |
| [13:08] | Barney… Oh,Barney… | |
| [13:10] | If I hadn’t done that, I would’ve walked right by the newsstand, | 要是不这么做 我就会直接经过报亭 |
| [13:13] | cut down 77th and gotten to that corner a minute early. | 穿过第77街 早一分钟到达那转角 |
| [13:16] | I would’ve gotten the bagel,done some work, and you kids might never have been born. | 买百吉饼 然后干些活 要是这样 你们就不会来到这世上 |
| [13:21] | Now,why did I cut down 77th, and give a dollar to the homeless guy? | 为啥过第77街后 我会给流浪汉一块钱呢? |
| [13:25] | Here’s why. | 是这样的 |
| [13:26] | Back when Marshall first started working at Goliath National Bank… | Marshall刚进歌利亚国家银行那会儿… |
| [13:30] | Um,Fran, I don’t mean to bother you but I have a big presentation tomorrow | Fran 抱歉打扰下 我明天要做个报告 |
| [13:34] | and it would really help if I could get like some charts and graphs made up. | 要是我做些图表 报告会就会更出彩 |
| [13:38] | Could you help me with that? | 你能帮帮我吗? |
| [13:39] | Honey,this is the graphics department. | 亲爱的 这里是制图部 |
| [13:41] | We can make as many graphs, as many charts in as many colors on as many kinds of paper as you want. | 随你用何种颜色 何种纸质 想怎么制图表 就能怎么制 |
| [13:48] | Fran Oh,Fran. | |
| [13:49] | Frannie Frannie Fran Oh,Frannie,Frannie,Fran. | |
| [13:53] | We are gonna have some fun. | 我们来点有趣的玩玩 |
| [13:55] | I’ve ranked the Presidents in order of how dirty their names sound. | 按照名字读音的猥琐程度 我把总统名如下排序 |
| [13:59] | One: Johnson. | 第一名 Johnson(男性生殖器) |
| [14:01] | Two: Bush. | 第二名 Bush(阴毛) |
| [14:03] | Three: Harding. | 第三名 Harding(变硬) |
| [14:05] | Four: Polk. | 第四名 Polk(波尔卡舞) |
| [14:08] | This circle represents “People Who Are Breaking My Heart…” | 这个圈代表”伤透我心的人” |
| [14:12] | and this circle represents “People Who Are Shaking My Confidence Daily.” | 这个圈代表”每天打击我自信的人” |
| [14:18] | And where they overlap: Cecilia. | 相交起来就是Cecilia |
| [14:24] | This is a pie chart describing my favorite bars. | 这是饼图代表着我最爱去的酒吧 |
| [14:30] | And this is a bar graph describing my favorite pies. | 这个柱状图代表着我最爱吃的派 （pie和bar的互文） |
| [14:41] | What’s going on? | 咋回事? |
| [14:42] | Enough with the charts. | 别再玩图表 |
| [14:44] | And the graphs. | 还有曲线图 |
| [14:45] | Really any visual representation of data. | 还有任何把数据形象化的统计法 |
| [14:50] | I’m not an idiot. | 我不是白痴 |
| [14:51] | Okay,uh,I know how you guys feel about my charts and my graphs. | 好吧 我知道你们对我的图表有意见 |
| [14:56] | As a matter of fact, I’ve made a chart of your reaction to my charts. Let’s take a look. | 事实上 我拿你们对图标的看法 制成了图表 来瞧瞧吧 |
| [15:00] | Yes,it is true, since Cecelia,your interest in my charts has been steadily dropping. | 的确 自从Cecelia图表之后 你们对图表的兴趣稳步下跌 |
| [15:06] | But based on recent trends, I have also made… | 但是基于最近的走势 我又制了份… |
| [15:10] | A projection chart! | 投影图! |
| [15:12] | And look… huge spike in interest coming! | 瞧瞧…即将带来巨大的回潮! |
| [15:15] | And this isn’t just some dead cat bounce. | 这可不是回光返照 |
| [15:17] | This is big sustainable growth over the long term. | 是长期的大幅度稳固增长 |
| [15:21] | You’re a big sustainable growth. | 去你的大幅度稳固增长 |
| [15:25] | Okay,so,I have prepared a few charts to,uh, | 我制了些图表来 |
| [15:30] | demonstrate how setting up a shell corporation in Bermuda | 阐述如何在百慕大开空头公司 |
| [15:33] | could help minimize our second quarter losses. | |
| [15:37] | And save you all some jail time. | 还能免除你们的牢狱之灾 |
| [15:40] | To begin with… | 首先… |
| [15:46] | Could you just please excuse me? | 能稍等一会儿不? |
| [15:53] | Mosbius Designs. | Mosbius设计公司 |
| [15:55] | What the hell happened to my charts? | 我的图表哪去了? |
| [15:56] | – We threw them away. – What? | – 我们扔了 – 啥? |
| [15:58] | That’s how an intervention works,Marshall. | 这么干预才有效嘛 Marshall |
| [16:00] | You wouldn’t stop using, so,we flushed your stash. | 你老是没完没了 我们只得斩草除根 |
| [16:03] | Come on,Ted! I need my charts,man! | 拜托 Ted! 图表要派用场 伙计! |
| [16:05] | Just for today and then I promise I will never ever use charts again. | 就今天 我保证以后再也不用图表了 |
| [16:08] | I’m under at lot of pressure here. I need my charts,Jack! | 我快崩溃了 还我图表 蠢蛋! |
| [16:12] | Oh,my God,you’re doing charts at work? | 我的天 你上班时间还在制图表? |
| [16:14] | They’re for work,you idiot! | 派工作用场 蠢蛋! |
| [16:16] | I’m giving a big presentation right now and if I don’t have those charts I’m gonna get fired! | 我正在做报告 要是没那些图表 我就会被炒鱿鱼! |
| [16:20] | Oh,crap. Um,okay,uh,stay right there. I’ll bring them to you. | 真要命 好的 等着 我马上送来 |
| [16:23] | Hurry up! I’ll try to think of a way to stall them. | 快点 我得想办法拖延时间 |
| [16:27] | Hi,okay,um… | 嗨 好的… |
| [16:29] | I’m sorry but there’s been a little delay with the charts. | 抱歉图表会晚点到 |
| [16:31] | But we will get started in just a minute. | 我们马上开始吧 |
| [16:41] | Fish are weird,right? | 鱼很怪异 对吧? |
| [16:43] | I mean,uh,what’s up with fish? | 我是说 鱼哪怪了? |
| [16:52] | Charts! Get your charts here! | 图表! 看看图表吧! |
| [16:56] | Oh,uh,excuse me,Milt? | 打扰下 Milt? |
| [16:58] | Um,I think those are my charts. | 我想那些图表是我的 |
| [17:01] | – These charts? – Yeah. | – 这些图表? – 嗯 |
| [17:02] | On my blanket? | 毯子上的呢? |
| [17:03] | Uh,that’s also my blanket. We’ll get to that later. | 其实毯子也是我的 那些我们慢点说 |
| [17:06] | But I really need these charts. | 我现在就要这些图标 |
| [17:07] | Oh,good,’cause they’re for sale. | 好 我正在卖呢 |
| [17:10] | Fine,how much? | 好吧 多少钱? |
| [17:12] | Uh,one million dollars. | 一百万 |
| [17:15] | I’ll give you five bucks. | 我给你5块 |
| [17:16] | A million dollars. | 一百万 |
| [17:18] | No one’s gonna pay a million dollars for these charts! | 鬼才会花一百万买这些图表! |
| [17:21] | One million dollars. | 一百万 |
| [17:23] | Okay,Milt,you win. | 好吧 败给你了 |
| [17:26] | I’m gonna give you one million dollars. | 我会付一百万 |
| [17:29] | Urinating… | 嘘嘘… |
| [17:30] | The problem is,the ATM… | 问题是ATM机… |
| [17:32] | The alien time machine. | 外星时空机 |
| [17:34] | The alien time machine has a withdrawal limit. | 外星时空机有提款限制 |
| [17:38] | So,here’s what I’m gonna do. | 所以我想这么做 |
| [17:39] | I’m gonna give you one dollar a day for a million days. | 我每天给你一块直至一百万天 |
| [17:45] | That’s,uh… | 要… |
| [17:47] | – That’s 2700 years. – Yeah. | – 要2700年 – 嗯 |
| [17:50] | Deal! | 成交! |
| [17:54] | Sucker. | 蠢蛋 |
| [17:56] | I’m sorry,is there a land bass I don’t know about? | 不好意思 还有哪种鲈鱼我不知道? |
| [18:04] | Let’s get started. | 我们开始吧 |
| [18:05] | And so,if I hadn’t bought those charts back for Marshall, | 要是我不把图表送还给Marshall |
| [18:08] | I wouldn’t have had to cut down 77th to give Milt his daily dollar and well,you know the rest. | 露过第77街后就不会 给Milt一块钱 结果可想而知 |
| [18:13] | So,there you have it,kids. | 你们现在知道了吧 孩子们 |
| [18:15] | There’s a lot of little reasons why the big things in our lives happen. | 很多微不足道的小事 促成了人生的重大节点 |
| [18:18] | If I had known then where all those little things were leading me, | 要是那时我知道这些小事会促成 |
| [18:21] | and how grateful I’d be to get there, well,I probably would’ve done something like this. | 我现在的幸福生活 我会满怀感激地这么做 |
| [18:27] | * Hey,glad girls only wanna get you high | |
| [18:35] | * Hey,glad girls only wanna get you high | |
| [18:42] | * Hey,glad girls Only wanna get you high | |
| [18:51] | * And they’re all right | |
| [18:52] | * And they’re all right | |
| [18:54] | * And they’re all right | |
| [18:56] | * And they’re all right | |
| [18:57] | * Glad girls only wanna get you high | |
| [19:03] | * And they’re all right | |
| [19:07] | ‘Cause somehow,I ended up in the right place at the right time. | 因为冥冥之中 我处于 对的时间 对的地点 |
| [19:11] | And,as a result, my life would never be the same. | 此后我的生活不再平淡 |
| [19:30] | A few days later,Uncle Barney finally confronted Matthew Panning, | 第二天Barney叔叔终于见到Matthew Panning |
| [19:33] | the stud of Port Richmond Middle School. | 利治蒙港中学的小霸王 |
| [19:35] | So,Barney,great to hear from you after all this time. | Barney 真高兴接到你电话 |
| [19:38] | What’s been going on? | 过得咋样? |
| [19:39] | I’ve had sex with 200 women. | 我和200个妞上过床了 |
| [19:43] | Oh,God! That’s way too many. | 我的天! 太多了吧 |
| [19:47] | I mean,that’s just gross. | 我是说 有点恶心 |
| [19:49] | Have you sought counseling for sex addiction? | 你去咨询过性上瘾症吗? |
| [19:51] | Because you’re a prime candidate. | 你这样可不妙 |
| [19:52] | Uh,have you sought counseling for I win you lose? | 你去咨询过我赢你输不? |
| [19:55] | Yeah,suddenly those 100 girls you nailed in the seventh grade aren’t so impressive. | 嗯 你初一就泡到100妞也不怎么厉害 |
| [20:01] | 100 girls? Is that what this is about? | 100个妞? 就为这破事? |
| [20:03] | Barney,I lied. | Barney 我骗你的 |
| [20:05] | Sure you did. | 你确实干了 |
| [20:06] | I was 12– of course I was lying. | 我才12岁 撒谎的年纪 |
| [20:09] | I didn’t have a pet Ewok either. | 我也没有养Ewok(见电影星球大战) |
| [20:11] | Sure you didn’t. | 你确实没有 |
| [20:13] | Your whole adult life has been built around something I lied about when I was 12? | 你的全部生活都围绕着 我12岁时说的谎话? |
| [20:19] | Jealous? | 嫉妒了? |
| [20:21] | Look,I gotta go pick my kids up at school. | 听着 我得去接孩子回家 |
| [20:24] | It sounds like you got a lot of problems. | 貌似你病得不轻 |
| [20:26] | Good luck,I guess. | 祝你好运 |
| [20:30] | I’m awesome. | 我真牛逼 |
| [20:33] | Okay,200. | 好吧 200 |
| [20:37] | Now what? | 然后呢? |