| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | Kids, everyone has one or two moments when they make a huge, crazy decision | 孩子们 每个人都会时不时地 做出一些可能永远改变他们人生的 |
| [00:05] | that changes their lives forever. | 疯狂决定 |
| [00:07] | This is the story of mine. | 这是关于我的故事 |
| [00:09] | It all started with a visit from my mom and her longtime boyfriendry.Clint, | 一切都是由我母亲和她 一直交往的男友Clint的到访开始的 |
| [00:12] | who was always saying stuff like… | 她男友总是喜欢说些… |
| [00:14] | ted,your mother is a very,very erotic woman. | Ted 你母亲是个性欲非常强的女人 |
| [00:19] | Please don’t. | 拜托别说了 |
| [00:21] | As a painter, slash, songwriter, slash, | 作为一名画家 作曲家 |
| [00:24] | volunteer fear-fighter, I find her… | 兼恐惧消除员志愿者 我觉得她… |
| [00:28] | Incredibly sexual. | 非常性感 |
| [00:31] | But you have your own sexual memories with your mom, don’t you? | 不过你和你母亲 也有特别的性回忆 不是吗? |
| [00:34] | Please don’t. | 别… |
| [00:35] | Exiting her womb, receiving her milk.You get me? | 离开她的子宫 接受她的乳汁 你懂我的意思吗? |
| [00:39] | Good. | 很好 |
| [00:43] | Mom. Mom,It’s okay. | – 真不敢相信我竟然跟那个男人在一起 – 妈 妈 没事 |
| [00:47] | You don’t have to settle.There are plenty of guys who… | 你不用这么快就定下来的 还有很多男人… |
| [00:49] | He is so cool! | 他是这么的酷! |
| [00:52] | And he picked me! | 但却选择了我! |
| [00:57] | Well, I’m, uh…I’m glad you’re both so happy. | 呃…我…很高兴你们都这么开心 |
| [00:59] | Well, good, because we do have an announcement… | 很好 我们确实有件事要宣布… |
| [01:04] | Son. | 儿子哎 |
| [01:11] | how.i.met.your.mother.Season 05 Episode 20 | |
| [01:19] | And so my mom was lapping me. | 没错 我老妈远远超越了我 |
| [01:21] | Getting married for a second time before I was even married once. | 在我还光棍着的时候就二婚了 |
| [01:24] | I was so happy for them.So freakin’ happy. | 我真为他们开心啊 真…是开心 |
| [01:28] | ******* | 不过 婚礼是不可思议的 |
| [01:30] | ************* | 我最终和我的未来妻子跳上了舞 |
| [01:34] | And if you don’t boil those jam jars, | 如果你不拿开水泡过哪些果酱罐 |
| [01:36] | it’s just a welcome mat for bacteria. | 它们就会变成细菌滋生地 |
| [01:39] | ****** | 不是她 |
| [01:42] | Oh, congratulations! Oh! | 哦 恭喜你! 哦! |
| [01:44] | We are so happy for you. | 我们真为你高兴 |
| [01:46] | I feel like I’m 19 again. Oh. | 我觉得我又回到了19岁 哦 |
| [01:48] | It’s like the last 35 years of my life never happened. | 就好像过去35年从来没发生过一样 |
| [01:51] | So wonderful to hear… Mom. | 真高兴你这么说啊…老妈 |
| [01:55] | Son, to show that your mom and I will always be there for you, | 儿子 为了表示 你母亲和我将永远在你身边 |
| [02:00] | I want you to have this beautiful picture that I painted. | 我希望你能收下这幅我画的画 |
| [02:06] | Kids, there was no guitar. | 孩子们 画里其实没有吉他 |
| [02:08] | Excuse me, Ted. | 失陪一下 Ted |
| [02:11] | Best… Wedding……ver! | 史上…最棒的…婚礼! |
| [02:15] | Hello, everyone. | 大家好 |
| [02:17] | Mahalo for being here with us. | 感谢大家来到这儿 |
| [02:20] | My entire life… | 我的一生… |
| [02:22] | Well, this life. | 也就是这一生 |
| [02:25] | I’ve waited for a muse like Virginia. | 都在等待一位 像Virginia的缪斯女神的出现 |
| [02:29] | Baby… | 宝贝儿… |
| [02:31] | This is your song. | 这是送给你的歌 |
| [02:37] | * When I squeeze her trembling bosom… * | * 当我挤她的胸部的时候… * |
| [02:41] | Oh, God… | 哦 天… |
| [02:42] | * The blood pumps to my loins * | * 血液就冲到了我的腰部 * |
| [02:46] | * When I penetrate her…* | * 当我穿透她的时候… * |
| [02:49] | Kids, I swear to God, I blacked out for the next 12 minutes. | 孩子们 我向上天发誓 接下来的12分钟 我的脑袋就当机了 |
| [02:52] | So I have no idea how the song got to this ending. | 所以 我不知道那歌是怎么结束的 |
| [02:55] | * And Mahatma Gandhi * | * 圣人甘地啊 * |
| [02:58] | * And the pancakes * | * 还有薄饼啊 * |
| [02:59] | Everyone! * And the dragon * | 大家一起来! * 还有龙啊 * |
| [03:03] | * And you Virginia. * | * 最后还有你 Virginia * |
| [03:11] | Guys!Guys! Guess what Robin just did. | 伙计们! 伙计们! 你们猜刚刚Robin做了什么 |
| [03:15] | 20s ago | 20秒前 |
| [03:15] | * Red and true…* | * 红色 且真是…* |
| [03:17] | Are you crying? | 你在哭? |
| [03:20] | – I know it’s stupid, but… – Everyone! * And the dragon…* | – 我知道这很傻 但是… – 大家一起来! * 还有龙…* |
| [03:26] | They’re happy, you know? | 他们很快乐 明白吗? |
| [03:29] | Not as happy as I am, Robin. | 没我来的快乐 Robin |
| [03:33] | Guys! Guys! | 伙计们! 伙计们! |
| [03:34] | Guess what Robin just did. | 你们猜刚刚Robin做了什么 |
| [03:36] | And then, I told you guys what Robin just did, but you were there for that. | 结果 等我告诉了你们 你们竟然感同身受 |
| [03:41] | I gotta tell the rest of the wedding. | 我得去告诉婚礼上所有其他的人 |
| [03:43] | Aunt Meredith! | Meredith阿姨! |
| [03:45] | Kids, I can’t overstate how horrible it is | 孩子们 在老妈二婚的现场 |
| [03:48] | to be the single guy at your own mother’s second wedding. | 却还是单身太可怕了 |
| [03:52] | So, Ted, When’s your wedding? | Ted 你什么时候结婚? |
| [03:54] | So, Ted, When’s your wedding? | Ted 你什么时候结婚? |
| [03:56] | When’s your wedding? | 你什么时候结婚? |
| [03:59] | Robin cried at Clint’s song. | Robin因为Clint的歌而哭了 |
| [04:02] | Oh, I told you already. | 哦 我告诉过你了 |
| [04:03] | Ted’s hot sister, Heather! | Ted的火辣妹妹 Heather！ |
| [04:06] | I have to leave. | 我得走了 |
| [04:07] | Wait, Ted. What about your toast? | 等等 Ted 你的祝词怎么办? |
| [04:09] | Make up some emergency or something.I just… I-I can’t handle this. | 随便编点理由 我只是…我实在受不了了 |
| [04:12] | Ted, Ted, where are you going?It’s your mother’s wedding! | Ted Ted 你去哪儿? 这可是你妈的婚礼啊! |
| [04:14] | Uncle Larry,my hand to God…Niagara Falls. | Larry叔叔 我向上天发誓… 尼亚加拉瀑布啊 |
| [04:18] | This one.She’s pouring. | 就是这家伙 是她流的 |
| [04:20] | And my friends didn’t see me for the next 72 hours. | 接下来3天 我的朋友们都没见到我 |
| [04:23] | Seriously, is Ted okay? | 说真的 Ted没事吧? |
| [04:25] | I mean, I know it was a rough weekend, but… | 我是说 我知道这个周末很糟糕 但… |
| [04:27] | – This radio silence is weird. – I know. | – 这么毫无音讯可太奇怪了 – 我也觉得 |
| [04:30] | His mom’s called, like, five times asking where he disappeared to. | 他妈打了有5次电话 问他跑哪儿去了 |
| [04:33] | Sorry, Robin. They’re all out of pretzels. | 抱歉 Robin 他们的脆饼都卖完了 |
| [04:35] | And I know how emotional you get. | 我知道你很多愁善感 |
| [04:41] | Let it go. Okay! | 放下吧 放下吧 好了! |
| [04:45] | Shh… Okay, I… | 嘘…好了 我… |
| [04:46] | I cried at Clint’s song. | 我确实因为Clint的歌哭了 |
| [04:47] | She cried at Clint’s song. | 她因为Clint的歌哭了 |
| [04:49] | Hey, guys. | 嘿 伙计们 |
| [04:50] | Ted, where have you been? Are you okay? | Ted 你去哪儿了? 你没事吧? |
| [04:52] | Oh, I’m better than okay. I am on top of the world. | 哦 我好极了 我状态超佳啊 |
| [04:55] | Come on. We’re going for a ride! | 走 我们去兜兜风! |
| [04:59] | Hey, buddy, do you want to, maybe, | 嘿 伙计 你想不想 |
| [05:01] | let somebody who isn’t having some sort of manic episode drive for a while? | 让个没发狂躁症的人来开会儿? |
| [05:04] | Yeah, and where the hell are we going? | 是啊 还有 我们到底要去哪儿? |
| [05:06] | First, let me tell you what happened the night of the wedding. | 首先 让我告诉你们婚礼 那天晚上发生了什么吧 |
| [05:10] | Watching my mom get married, | 看到我妈的婚礼 |
| [05:11] | I realized how far behind I was in my own life. | 我意识到我的生活落后了太多 |
| [05:14] | I just had to get out of there. | 我不得不离开那儿 |
| [05:16] | So I went back to my hotel room and got onto this Web site | 于是我回到旅馆房间 上了这个网站 |
| [05:18] | I sometimes visit when I can’t sleep… | 有时候我睡不着就会上去看看 |
| [05:20] | Oh! Oh! Oh-oh! Ted, come on. Oh, God. T.M.I. | 哦! 哦! 哦！Ted 拜托 哦 天 说太多了哦 |
| [05:22] | We do not want to know what you and the Internet do when you’re lonely. | 我们可对你孤单的时候 用网络干嘛不敢兴趣 |
| [05:26] | I didn’t… I… | 我没…我… |
| [05:27] | That’s not the part of the night I was talking about. | 我说的不是那个时候的事 |
| [05:32] | I went to my favorite real estate auction site- | 我上了我最喜欢的房地产拍卖网站 |
| [05:34] | come on, we’ve all got one- | 拜托 我们都有的 |
| [05:35] | scrolled through a few properties and… | 察看了几处房产 结果 |
| [05:39] | Guys… | 伙计们… |
| [05:40] | I just bought my dream house. | 我刚买了我的梦想之屋 |
| [05:48] | What do you mean you bought this house? | 什么叫做你买了这房子? |
| [05:50] | I mean, I made a bid online. | 我的意思是 我在网上竞标了 |
| [05:51] | I won the auction the next day and I got approval. | 我赢了拍卖 第二天就获得了批准 |
| [05:54] | I just finalized the paperwork. | 我刚刚结束了文书工作 |
| [05:56] | And was the Blair Witch easy to deal with | 那布莱尔女巫 (美国热门电影)很好对付 |
| [05:59] | or did she haggle over the closing costs? | 还是不停讨价还价呢? |
| [06:01] | Don’t even joke about that, man. | 别开这玩笑 |
| [06:03] | So, I’m thinking this room will be the study. | 我在想 这个房间将会变成书房 |
| [06:05] | You know, a place just for Dad. | 你知道 给爸准备的 |
| [06:06] | I mean, the kids are welcome in here if they’re reading a book, but no toys. | 孩子可以来这儿 如果他们 要看书的话 但是 不能带玩具进来 |
| [06:10] | It’s not a question of withholding love.It’s a question of drawing boundaries. | 这不是在抑制爱心 而是在设立规矩 |
| [06:14] | Ted, this is insane. | Ted 这太疯狂了 |
| [06:16] | This is going to take years | 这要花很多年 |
| [06:17] | and a small fortune to make livable. | 还有很多钱才能住人 |
| [06:20] | I’m an architect.I’ll find a way. | 我是个建筑师 我能想出办法来的 |
| [06:22] | And if I start right now,it’ll be done by the time | 如果现在就开始 等我妻子和我 |
| [06:24] | the ol’ wifey and I are ready to move in. | 准备搬进来的时候就会完成了 |
| [06:29] | Is she in the room with us right now, Ted? | 她现在是和我们在一起吗 Ted? |
| [06:33] | Okay, okay, I know I haven’t found Mrs. Mosby yet, | 好的 好的 我知道我还没有找到Mosby太太 |
| [06:36] | but I will, knock on wood. | 但我会成功的 上帝保佑哦 |
| [06:38] | Careful, buddy. | 小心点 哥们儿 |
| [06:40] | Ted, you can’t just skip ahead to where you think your life should be. | Ted 你不能就这么直接跳过去 决定你的人生将在哪里展开 |
| [06:44] | – It doesn’t work that way. – Yeah, I’ve got to agree. | – 人生不是这样的 – 是啊 我也不得不同意 |
| [06:46] | This may be the stupidest thing you’ve ever done. | 这是你做过的最愚蠢的事了 |
| [06:49] | Stupidest thing any of us has ever done. | 是我们所有人做过的最愚蠢的事了 |
| [06:51] | Okay, all right.Let’s lay off Ted, all right? Thank you. | 好了 我们就放过Ted吧 好吧? 拜托 |
| [06:53] | We’ve all done some stupid things in our lives. | 我们都做过愚蠢的事 |
| [06:55] | For example, I remember a time when I dropped some bottle rockets in the toilet, | 比如 我记得有一次 我掉了几个瓶装火箭到厕所里 |
| [06:59] | and I tried to dry them off in the microwave. | 而我想要用微波炉烘干他们 |
| [07:02] | God, you must have been drunk off your ass. | 天 你一定是醉倒家了 |
| [07:04] | No, too stupid to be an adult. | 不 太傻了 不可能是一个成人做的 |
| [07:06] | He was obviously a kid when it happened. | 显然那时候他还是个孩子 |
| [07:07] | A kid? How does a kid even get… | 孩子? 一个孩子怎么可能… |
| [07:09] | Oh, my God. Guys! | 哦 我的天 伙计们! |
| [07:12] | Great new game: | 新游戏: |
| [07:13] | “Drunk or Kid” Which one was I? | “是醉了还是是个孩子” 到底是哪个? |
| [07:15] | Lock in your guesses. | 仔细想想吧 |
| [07:16] | Drunk. Drunk. Kid. | 醉了 醉了 孩子 |
| [07:18] | Kid. Drumroll, please. | 孩子 请击鼓 |
| [07:23] | I was… | 我… |
| [07:26] | *** | 醉了 |
| [07:30] | You know,I’m glad Robin got it right. | 知道吗 我很高兴Robin猜对了 |
| [07:32] | ‘Cause she’s very sensitive and fragile. | 因为她非常的敏感脆弱 |
| [07:36] | I’m referencing the time she cried at Clint’s song. | 想想那次她因为 Clint的歌而哭的时候吧 |
| [07:41] | And even though I’m whispering, I actually hope she hears me. | 尽管我是在轻声说 事实上我希望她能听见 |
| [07:45] | It wasn’t me! What? | – 不是我! – 什么? |
| [07:48] | I’m not the one who cried at Clint’s song. | 听完Clint的歌哭的人不是我 |
| [07:52] | * Red and true… * | * 红色 且真是…* |
| [07:54] | Are you crying? | 你在哭? |
| [07:57] | – I know it’s stupid, but… – Everyone!* And the dragon… * | – 我知道这很傻 但是… – 大家一起来!* 还有龙…* |
| [08:03] | They’re just happy, you know? | 他们真快乐 明白吗? |
| [08:05] | Not as happy as I am. | 没我来的快乐 |
| [08:08] | I will give you $500 if this just happened to you instead of me. | 如果你说是你哭了 而不是我的话 我就给你500美元 |
| [08:10] | 500 bucks? Deal. | 500? 成交 |
| [08:13] | Thank you, Robin. | 谢谢你 Robin |
| [08:14] | You just saved me unspeakable public humiliation and shame. | 你刚刚将我从无法言传的 耻辱和羞愧中解救了出来 |
| [08:18] | Guys! Guys! Guess what Robin just did. | 伙计们! 伙计们! 你们猜刚刚Robin做了什么 |
| [08:23] | Wait, you guys are… | 等等 你们… |
| [08:25] | Hi, I’m here for the inspection. | 嗨 我是来检查的 |
| [08:27] | Oh, great! I was worried you weren’t coming. | 哦 太好了! 我还担心你不来呢 |
| [08:29] | I was actually here a few minutes ago, but I guess the doorbell doesn’t work. | 事实上几分钟前我就到了 但是我猜门铃坏了 |
| [08:32] | Hmm. Oh, hey! | 哦 嘿! |
| [08:35] | Doorbell does not work. | 门铃坏了 |
| [08:39] | Wait, wait… you’re just getting this place inspected now? | 等等…你现在才检查屋子? |
| [08:43] | Well, yeah. | 是啊 |
| [08:45] | Okay! All right!Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! | 好了! 嘿! 嘿! |
| [08:48] | All right, let’s all remember that we’ve all done | 好了 记住 我们都做过 |
| [08:50] | some stupid things in our lives, okay? | 一些蠢事 好吗? |
| [08:52] | For example, I once tried to ride my bike down | 比如 我曾经想要用自行车 |
| [08:54] | an extension ladder from the roof of a two-story house. | 通过伸缩梯从一栋 两层楼高的房子上骑下来 |
| [08:58] | The only looming question is was I drunk or a kid? | 唯一的问题就是 我是醉了还是我还是个孩子? |
| [09:03] | Drunk! Kid! Kid! Drunk! | 醉了! 孩子! 孩子！醉了! |
| [09:04] | Drumroll, please. | 请击鼓 |
| [09:09] | I was… | 我… |
| [09:10] | Marshall’s dead! | Marshall死了! |
| [09:14] | *** | 是个孩子 |
| [09:18] | Moms, right? | 妈妈就是这样 是吧? |
| [09:19] | Just always making a big deal out of nothing. | 总是喜欢大惊小怪 |
| [09:22] | I came out of that coma in under a week. | 我一周内就醒过来了 |
| [09:25] | Let’s check out the porch, huh?Come on. | 我们去看看门廊吧 哈? 来 |
| [09:28] | I’m going to put a grill out here.Every Sunday, right here, | 我要在这儿放个烤架 每个周日都进行烧烤 就在这儿 |
| [09:31] | it’s going to be a total sausage fest. | 那会是一场香肠盛宴 |
| [09:33] | Hmm… Sausage party? | 呃…香肠派对? |
| [09:35] | Burgers, we’ll do burgers. | 汉堡好了 汉堡派对 |
| [09:36] | Ted, stop it. | Ted 别说了 |
| [09:38] | You can’t keep this house.It’s a huge mistake. | 你不能留着这个房子 这是个错误 |
| [09:41] | Lily, listen to me. | Lily 听我说 |
| [09:42] | I had a plan, okay? Wife, house, kids. | 我的人生计划里有妻子 房子 孩子 |
| [09:45] | As it turns out, the universe is being kind of a wad about the whole wife and kids part. | 但是目前来看 妻子和孩子那部分还没个着落 |
| [09:49] | So, what’s the one thing I can control? | 所以我唯一能控制的是什么? |
| [09:51] | The house. I bought it. | 只有这栋房子 所以我买下来了 |
| [09:53] | It’s not a huge mistake. | 这不是一个大错误 |
| [09:55] | Exactly. Now, me driving my brother’s car the wrong way down I-94, | 没错 我开着我哥哥的车 在I-94公路上逆向行驶 |
| [09:59] | that was a huge mistake. | 那才是个大错误 |
| [10:02] | Drunk! Kid! Kid! Kid! | 喝醉了! 小孩子! |
| [10:04] | I was… | 我那时候是… |
| [10:07] | KID | 小孩子 |
| [10:10] | Yes! | 太棒了! |
| [10:14] | Wow, Barney. | 哇 Barney |
| [10:15] | Did you cry on that guy or something? | 你把眼泪撒到人家身上了么? |
| [10:17] | You got leaky pipes. | 这里水管是漏的 |
| [10:19] | But the bright side: | 不过好处是 |
| [10:20] | the pond in your basement is drowning some of the larger, slower rats. | 地下室里的池子里淹死了一些 身体肥硕 行动迟缓的老鼠 |
| [10:24] | The rest of them, well… they’re headed this way. | 其他的老鼠…都朝这边跑过来了 |
| [10:29] | See? You should have waited to find out the problems with this house. | 看见没? 你应该等到检查出所有毛病之后再买的 |
| [10:33] | You can always find problems with any decision, | 一切决定都会有各种各样的问题 |
| [10:35] | but you can’t let that stop you. | 但是这不能阻止我们做出决定 |
| [10:36] | Freshman year, Marshall knew right away he wanted to spend his life with you. | 早在大一的时候 Marshall就知道他要和你共度余生 |
| [10:40] | What if someone had been there to second-guess that decision? | 如果那时候有个人过来劝他会怎么样? |
| [10:44] | Bye. | 再见 |
| [10:48] | I know we’ve only been on two dates, | 我知道我们才约会了两次 |
| [10:50] | but damn it, Lily Aldrin, I’m, I’m going to marry you. | 但是管他呢 Lily Aldrin 我要跟你结婚 |
| [10:53] | Not so fast. | 先别忙 |
| [10:59] | We got some structural issues here. | 有些生理结构问题不容忽视 |
| [11:01] | These hips are not Eriksen baby-compliant. | 这屁股生不出Eriksen家的孩子 (Marshall家的孩子都是巨人) |
| [11:04] | And this thing right here does not have a proper filter. | 这张脸蛋也不够标致 |
| [11:08] | That’s a maintenance issue that’s never going to go away. | 维修工作可是一辈子的事 |
| [11:11] | And I know you think that you like this Gothic exterior now, | 我知道你现在喜欢她的哥特打扮 |
| [11:15] | but deep down didn’t you always picture yourself in something Spanish? | 不过在你内心深处 难道不是一直钟情于拉丁风格吗? |
| [11:20] | I’d recommend you look into the rental option. | 我建议你再仔细筛选一番 |
| [11:23] | But Marshall took that leap of faith, | 但是Marshall始终坚持信念 |
| [11:25] | and it’s the best thing that ever happened to you both. | 才有你们俩今天的幸福美满 |
| [11:29] | It was Robin! | 是Robin! |
| [11:32] | “What?!” | “什么?!” |
| [11:33] | Yes, it was Robin who cried at Clint’s song! | 没错 被Clint的歌感动得哭的人是Robin! |
| [11:36] | “But she said… ” I know what she said. | “可她说… ” 我知道她是怎么说的 |
| [11:38] | But here’s what she didn’t want you to know. | 但这是她不想让你们知道的 |
| [11:41] | **** | 十分钟前 |
| [11:41] | Listen, Barney, | 听着 Barney |
| [11:43] | I can’t stand all these jokes about me crying. | 我实在受不了你老是笑话我哭了 |
| [11:46] | If I pretend to reveal that you were the one who cried, will you go along with it? | 如果我假装告诉他们哭的人是你 你能同意吗? |
| [11:51] | Sure. | 当然 |
| [11:53] | I made a mistake letting you go, didn’t I? | 让你离开我真是个大错误 不是吗? |
| [11:57] | Your penis is enormous. | 你床上功夫太棒了 |
| [12:00] | Dude, you almost had us. | 好家伙 差点就被你骗了 |
| [12:02] | You always take it one too far. | 你总是言过其实 |
| [12:03] | Damn it! | 见鬼 |
| [12:05] | All right, good news. | 好消息 |
| [12:06] | – Think we’ll be out of here early. – Really? | – 我们能早点检查完走人了 – 真的吗? |
| [12:08] | Yep, I finished downstairs and the outside. | 是的 我检查了楼下和外面 |
| [12:11] | Now, I could keep looking and see what else I can find | 现在 我再来继续看看有没有其他问题 |
| [12:13] | besides the black mold, the damaged retaining wall, | 除了有黑斑 破挡墙 |
| [12:16] | the frayed electrical wires, the lead paint, the water damage, | 电线磨损 铅涂料过多 水渍 |
| [12:19] | the fire damage, the sun damage, the broken furnace, the rotted floorboards… | 被火烧过 被暴晒过 坏火炉 烂地板… |
| [12:23] | Hey, look at that… no termites. | 不过…没有白蚁 |
| [12:25] | The cracked chimney,the bats, the rats, | 裂烟囱 蝙蝠 老鼠 |
| [12:27] | the spiders, the raccoons, the hobo,the detached gutter, | 蜘蛛 浣熊 流浪汉 排水沟断层 |
| [12:30] | the outdated fuse box and the paint job in the kitchen, | 保险丝盒过旧 厨房里有乱涂乱画 |
| [12:32] | which is fine, but the trim really clashes with the countertops. | 这也倒还好 只是和整个台面板不太搭调 |
| [12:36] | Or I could just recommend that you do not buy this godforsaken | 我的建议是你们千万别买这栋 比拘留所还不如的房子 |
| [12:39] | Guantanamo Bay of a house, and suggest that we all | 在风把这天煞的房顶掀翻了之前 |
| [12:42] | get our asses out of here before a medium-sized wind blows the whole sum’bitch down. | 大伙赶紧撤了得了! |
| [12:48] | What if, uh… | 如果 呃… |
| [12:50] | What if I already bought the sum’bitch? | 如果我已经买了这栋天煞的房子呢? |
| [12:54] | I – I will check out the upstairs. | 我…我去楼上检查一下 |
| [13:05] | Did he say he found a hobo? | 他说这儿还有个流浪汉是吧? |
| [13:08] | Okay, yes, there are problems, | 好吧 没错 这房子确实有些问题 |
| [13:10] | but I see this house for what I know it can be. | 但是它正是我想要的一切 |
| [13:14] | I see a swing on that tree outside. | 我看见了外面荡漾的秋千 |
| [13:16] | I – I see a wreath on the front door at Christmas. | 我看见了圣诞节时门前悬挂的花环 |
| [13:19] | I see a grill out on that patio | 我看见了天井里的烤架 |
| [13:21] | where I’ll be barbecuing every weekend. | 每个周末 我都会在那烧烤 |
| [13:24] | I see a life that I know I can have here. | 我看见了我渴望的人生 |
| [13:31] | Mama! Oh! | 我的老天爷啊! |
| [13:35] | I see a lawsuit. | 我看他会起诉你 |
| [13:37] | Found termites. | 发现白蚁了 |
| [13:45] | Hey, well, the good news is the inspector killed some roaches on impact. | 值得高兴的是房检员压死了些蟑螂 |
| [13:49] | Oh, hold on. | 等等 |
| [13:51] | Giant hole in second floor. | 二楼有个大洞 |
| [13:54] | Just wanted to make sure the report is thorough. | 要报告得彻底点嘛 |
| [13:59] | You were right. | 你们是对的 |
| [14:01] | This was a huge mistake. It’s just… | 这是个巨大的错误 我只是觉得… |
| [14:04] | Everyone’s moving on but me. | 每个人过得越来越好 除了我 |
| [14:05] | You guys got a place years ago; | 你们俩早就买了房子 |
| [14:07] | Robin’s getting serious with Don. | Robin和Don的发展也很顺利 |
| [14:09] | Barney…Maybe that’s a new tie? | Barney…这是条新领带? |
| [14:12] | Thank you! Jeez. | 有眼光! |
| [14:14] | And now my mom’s remarried. | 现在连我妈妈都再婚了 |
| [14:16] | I… I’m exactly where I was five years ago. | 我…我却还和五年前一模一样 |
| [14:19] | I’m sick of it. | 我真的受不了了 |
| [14:21] | I’m, I’m ready for the life that fits into this house. | 我已经准备好了搬进这栋房子 开始新的生活 |
| [14:25] | It’s all right, buddy. | 没事的 哥们 |
| [14:28] | Sometimes people make the wrong decisions in life. | 有时候 人们会做出错误的决定 |
| [14:32] | Like your mother. | 就像你妈妈 |
| [14:35] | What do you mean? | 你什么意思? |
| [14:36] | Ted, as you know, I’ve always been very, very fond of your mother. | Ted 你知道的 我一直非常非常喜欢你妈妈 |
| [14:42] | Please don’t. | 别说了好吧 |
| [14:43] | In fact, Virginia and I shared a special moment back in 2006 B.C… | 实际上 Virginia和我在2006年 曾在一起度过了一段美好的时光 |
| [14:49] | Before Clint. | 早在有Clint之前 |
| [14:52] | What the hell are you talking about? | 你在说什么呢? |
| [14:54] | I wanted to be your dad! | 我想当你继父! |
| [14:56] | – What does that even mean? – Don’t you talk back to me, young man! | – 这是什么意思啊? – 别顶嘴 小伙子 |
| [14:59] | That’s why I cried at Clint’s song: | 这就是为什么Clint唱歌的时候我会哭 |
| [15:02] | because that bastard took her away from me. | 因为那个混蛋从我身边夺走了她 |
| [15:05] | And now, all I’m left with… | 现在 剩下的 |
| [15:08] | is the memory of dropping her off at the airport. | 只有那段我送她去机场的记忆了 |
| [15:13] | And that’s how you got the brooch? | 你是这么拿到胸针的? |
| [15:16] | Unbelievable. | 太不可思议了 |
| [15:18] | You… | 你… |
| [15:22] | So, here we are. | 我们到了 |
| [15:26] | Here we are. | 到了 |
| [15:29] | – We made good time… – Not a lot of traffic… | – 我们很开心… – 交通很通畅… |
| [15:36] | Oh, I love this song. | 我爱死这首歌了 |
| [15:38] | Do you?I can… | 是吗? 我能… |
| [15:48] | Listen, Ted’s mom… | 听着 Ted的妈妈… |
| [15:51] | I… | 我… |
| [15:53] | should really… | 真的应该… |
| [15:55] | I sh… | 我应… |
| [16:11] | Your penis is enormous. | 你床上功夫太棒了 |
| [16:14] | Again?!Always one too far! | 又是这样! 言过其实! |
| [16:16] | Okay, all right.Fine, that last part I made up, | 好吧好吧 最后一句是我编的 |
| [16:18] | but the rest of it, I swear it was true. | 不过其他的 我发誓是千真万确的 |
| [16:20] | Come on, dude. Your mom is a cougar. | 哥们 你妈真是辣妈一枚啊 |
| [16:22] | Wait, I thought you said a cougar can’t be over 50. | 等等 你不是说辣妈不能超过五十岁吗? |
| [16:25] | Okay, she’s a Mellencamp. | 好吧 她是辣奶奶 |
| [16:28] | Guys, I am screwed. | 我完蛋了 |
| [16:29] | I mean, the best I can do is level this place and sell the property for a huge loss. | 我只能把这房子给拆了 再贱价卖掉土地 |
| [16:34] | Look, Ted, usually in life when you make a stupid decision, | Ted 通常情况下 你做了件傻事之后 |
| [16:38] | you just have to live with it. | 只能默默接受它 |
| [16:40] | But how often do you get the chance to pick up a sledgehammer | 但是你能有几次机会拿起大锤子 |
| [16:44] | and bash the living hell out of it? | 把傻事击得粉碎呢? |
| [16:59] | This is stupid. | 这傻死了 |
| [17:00] | Your mom and I got to second base. | 你妈妈和我已经上过二垒了 |
| [17:08] | * You place the flowers in the vase * | * 你把你今天买的花 * |
| [17:12] | * That you bought today * | * 插到花瓶里 * |
| [17:18] | * Staring at the fire * | * 盯着熊熊烈火 * |
| [17:21] | * For hours and hours while I listen… * | * 久久不肯移开目光… * |
| [17:26] | Thanks, Lily.That felt fantastic. | 谢谢你 Lily 这感觉太棒了 |
| [17:30] | To Ted Mosby… homeowner,friend, and if he can rent it out, slumlord. | 敬Ted Mosby…房主 朋友 如果能把房子租出去 那就是恶房东 |
| [17:40] | There’s, uh… | 还有 呃… |
| [17:42] | There’s one last thing I’ve got to do. | 我还要最后做件事 |
| [17:45] | And my friends didn’t see me for the next 72 hours. | 接下来我消失了72个小时 |
| [17:49] | He was our ride. | 他载我们来的 |
| [17:58] | Ted, what are you doing here? | Ted 你来干什么? |
| [18:01] | I never got to give you guys your toast. | 我没能给你们敬祝酒词 |
| [18:04] | I was selfish and I freaked out and I’m so sorry, | 我当时自私又慌神 真的很对不起 |
| [18:07] | so here it is. | 现在请听好了 |
| [18:11] | “How bout a hand for the deejay?Gesture to dee… “ | “给DJ鼓个掌如何…” |
| [18:15] | I’ll skip down. | 我跳过这段吧 |
| [18:18] | “Mom, I love you, | 妈妈 我爱你 |
| [18:20] | “and I’ve never seen you as happy as you are with Clint. | 在你和Clint在一起之前 我从没见过你这么开心过 |
| [18:23] | “And, Clint,welcome to the family. “ | Clint 欢迎你成为我们家的一员 |
| [18:27] | “What you two have is what I one day hope to find. | 你们之间的感情是我渴望拥有的 |
| [18:31] | But until then, cheers to you both. “ | 敬你们二位 |
| [18:34] | I love you, guys. | 我爱你们 |
| [18:37] | Ted… | Ted… |
| [18:40] | I am so… | 我现在有点… |
| [18:43] | baked right now. | 有点茫了 (吸大麻了) |
| [18:46] | I’m only 60% sure you’re actually standing in front of me. | 我只有百分之六十确定你站在我面前 |
| [18:50] | But if you are, I love you. | 不过如果你是真的 我爱你 |
| [18:55] | And you are the best son a mother could ever have. | 你是全世界最好的儿子 |
| [19:11] | There was no logical reason why my mother should be with a guy like that. | 不知道我妈妈为什么会和这种人在一起 |
| [19:15] | And yet, as you kids know, | 但是孩子们 你们也知道 |
| [19:16] | being with your Grampa Clint was the best decision your grandma ever made. | 和Clint爷爷在一起是奶奶做过的最好的决定 |
| [19:25] | Sometimes our best decisions are the ones that don’t make any sense at all. | 有时候我们最好的决定常常是那些最不靠谱的 |
| [19:38] | Hey. Hey, buddy. | – 嗨 – 嗨 哥们 |
| [19:40] | How’d you know I was going to be up here today? | 你怎么知道我今天会来这儿? |
| [19:42] | Robin told me. | Robin告诉我的 |
| [19:45] | Happy housewarming. | 乔迁愉快 |
| [19:47] | But I-I, I told you the last time I saw you I’m selling the place. | 但是我…我说过我要卖掉这儿 |
| [19:51] | I know what you said. | 我知道你说过 |
| [19:54] | I also know my best friend, Ted Mosby. | 我也知道我最好的朋友是个什么样的人 |
| [19:57] | Look… | 想想看… |
| [19:58] | of all the times over the years when I’ve said to you, | 这么多年来 我一直在跟你说 |
| [20:02] | “Slow down. Don’t rush into things with this girl” | “慢慢来 不要和这个女人进展太快了” |
| [20:05] | you haven’t listened to me a single damn time. | 你一次都没有听进去过 |
| [20:09] | Your heart is both drunk and a kid. | 你的心里同时住着醉汉和孩子 |
| [20:17] | Thanks for sticking up for me, man. | 谢谢你这么支持我 |
| [20:19] | That’s what I do. | 我一直都会 |
| [20:24] | Can I, uh… Can I show you some of the ideas I have? | 我…呃…我能跟你说说我的想法吗? |
| [20:26] | Yeah. | 好啊 |
| [20:29] | And, kids, Marshall was right. | 孩子们 Marshall是对的 |
| [20:31] | I didn’t give up on my dream house | 我没有放弃我梦想中的房子 |
| [20:33] | because that’s the thing about stupid decisions: | 因为所有愚蠢的决定都是这样 |
| [20:35] | we all make them. | 不撞南墙不回头 |
| [20:37] | But time is funny. | 但是时间是个很有趣的东西 |
| [20:41] | And sometimes a little magic… | 有时候也很神奇 |
| [20:45] | It can take a stupid decision… | 它能把一个愚蠢的决定 |
| [20:49] | and turn it into something else entirely. | 转变成一个正确的选择 |
| [20:52] | Because, kids,as you know… | 因为 孩子们 你们知道 |
| [20:56] | that house is this house. | 那栋房子就是现在我们的家 |
| [21:03] |