| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | So, this chick and I are going at it behind the Central Park Zoo. | 我跟那妞儿跑到中央公园的动物园后面亲热 |
| [00:04] | The Bonobo chimps start giving us a standing O, | 大猩猩看得来劲 站起来给我俩鼓掌 |
| [00:08] | and just when I’m about to give her the same thing– | 正当我要让她爽歪歪时 |
| [00:10] | what up? I-I… | 你们猜怎么着 我–我… |
| [00:14] | I can’t. | 我说不下去了 |
| [00:15] | I just… I can’t. | 我就是…说不下去了 |
| [00:16] | Guys, I know you count the minutes until you can escape | 我知道跟你们苍白惨淡的人生一比 |
| [00:20] | from your humdrum lives by hearing how awesome mine is, | 我精彩绝伦的人生 会让你们如坐针毡了 |
| [00:23] | and I love doing that for you, | 虽然我很享受你们的羡慕嫉妒恨 |
| [00:26] | but I just can’t tonight. | 但今晚哥实在没心情 |
| [00:27] | – What’s wrong? – I don’t want to talk about it. | -出啥事儿了 -我不想提 |
| [00:30] | Okay. Hey, you guys see Deadliest Catch last night? | 好吧 你俩昨晚看《致命捕捞》了没 |
| [00:33] | – Did I ever! – Deadliest Catch ever! | -怎么可能没看 -“最致命捕捞” |
| [00:35] | All right, I’ll tell you! | 好啦好啦 我说啦 |
| [00:37] | My mother is selling the house I grew up in. | 我妈要把我从小长大的房子卖掉 |
| [00:41] | All of my childhood memories gone, just like that! | 我一切童年的回忆 就这么灰飞烟灭了 |
| [00:44] | That sucks. | 那感觉糟透了 |
| [00:45] | I’ve been there, buddy. | 我懂的 哥们 |
| [00:46] | What are you talking about? | 你说啥呢 |
| [00:48] | Your mother still lives in the house you grew up in. | 你妈现在还住你小时候的家里呢 |
| [00:49] | With her new hippie husband, Clint. | 和她那嬉皮士老公克林特好不好 |
| [00:52] | The comfort of home is a little ruined | 那温暖舒适的小屋全被毁掉了 |
| [00:53] | when someone turns your old room | 还把我原来的房间改造了 |
| [00:55] | into what I’m pretty sure is a Tantric sex temple. | 我敢肯定那个是坦陀罗性爱神龛 |
| [00:58] | With all the bamboo, | 屋里摆满了竹子 |
| [00:59] | pot smoke and ’60s music, | 大麻罐 还总放60年代的老歌 |
| [01:00] | it’s like my old G.I. Joes are frozen in | 就像美国大兵被越南迷药 |
| [01:02] | some weird Vietnam flashback. | 迷得动弹不得一样 |
| [01:05] | Anyway, I need you guys to come out | 话说回来 我需要你们周六 |
| [01:07] | to Staten Island on Saturday and help box everything up. | 来我家帮我收拾东西 |
| [01:11] | You expect us to spend a whole day | 你想让我们浪费一整天 |
| [01:14] | packing up your mom’s house? | 跑去帮你收拾东西吗 |
| [01:16] | Of course not. | 怎么可能 |
| [01:17] | It’s a two-day job. | 要两天呢 |
| [01:18] | Uh, pass. | 我不去 |
| [01:20] | Same. | 不去 |
| [01:21] | Unsubscribe. | 必须不去 |
| [01:25] | You guys are adorable. | 你们真是傻得可爱 |
| [01:26] | You seriously believe that I, Barney Stinson, | 你们真的认为 我巴尼·斯丁森 |
| [01:29] | can’t talk you into this? | 会说不动你们几个吗 |
| [01:30] | I got the Queen to give me a fist bump. | 女王可跟哥顶拳问候过呢 |
| [01:32] | No one believes that story. | 鬼才信你 |
| [01:34] | You may be able to talk the brain surgeons | 你或许能哄到个脑外科医生 |
| [01:36] | you pick up into doing whatever you want, | 让你为所欲为 |
| [01:38] | but it’s not gonna work on us. | 但在我们这 绝对行不通 |
| [01:48] | How did he do that? | 他怎么办到的 |
| [02:04] | So there we were helping Barney pack up his childhood home. | 最终我们还是去帮巴尼收拾东西了 |
| [02:07] | Whoa, Ted, that thing you’re packing is way too big to fit in that box. | 泰德 你用那盒子根本装不下那个 |
| [02:10] | Yeah, that’s what your mom said. | 是啊 你妈也是这么说的 |
| [02:12] | How dare you! | 你胆子不小呀 |
| [02:13] | No, she actually said that. | 不是啦 这是她的原话 |
| [02:16] | Oh, dear, I thought I told you, | 亲爱的 我记得我告诉你了 |
| [02:17] | that’s just not going to fit in there. | 那个盒子装不下的 |
| [02:20] | Someone order something tall, dark and awesome? | 送外卖咯 又高又帅的黑色可餐来了 |
| [02:22] | – James! – Bro! | -詹姆斯 -兄弟 |
| [02:24] | – How you doing? – Hey. | -最近怎么样 -好啊 |
| [02:26] | Hey. | 好 |
| [02:27] | – Oh, my goodness. – Mama. | -天啊 -妈妈 |
| [02:28] | Look at my two sons. | 快看我俩儿子 |
| [02:30] | So big and strong and handsome. | 长得又高又壮还特帅 |
| [02:32] | Mom. | 妈 |
| [02:33] | Stop. | 会骄傲的啦 |
| [02:34] | And how is my delicious little grandson? | 我可爱的小孙子呢 |
| [02:36] | Oh, did he get the clothes I sent him? | 对了 收到我寄给他的衣服没 |
| [02:37] | Check it. Huh? | 你瞧 怎么样 |
| [02:41] | How cute is that, right? | 可爱死了 对吧 |
| [02:43] | When was the last time you saw a diaper poking out | 你们啥时候见过穿着名牌西装 |
| [02:45] | of a Dolce and Gabana suit? | 还露出尿布的人呀 |
| [02:47] | Tuesday at work. | 周二上班的时候 |
| [02:49] | Some of the senior partners are really getting up there. | 几个高级合伙人 岁数太大必须穿尿布 |
| [02:53] | So, Ted, | 泰德 |
| [02:54] | yesterday at work, I totally talked you up | 昨天上班 我在卖化妆品的辣妹利兹面前 |
| [02:56] | to that super-hot makeup girl, Liz. | 把你吹得天花乱坠 |
| [02:58] | Oh yeah? Mm-hmm. What did you say? | 是吗 你怎么说的 |
| [03:00] | Oh, you know, how funny you are… | 比如说 诙谐幽默 |
| [03:02] | – Guilty. – Handsome. | -真不好意思 -一表人才 |
| [03:03] | Who, me? | 不敢当 |
| [03:04] | Incredible lover. | 温柔体贴 最佳情人 |
| [03:05] | – Really? – Oh, yeah. | -真的吗 -没错 |
| [03:07] | Oh, yeah. I was all like, | 绝对的 我当时就说 |
| [03:09] | “He knows a woman’s body better than she knows her own, | “他对女人的身体了如指掌” |
| [03:12] | “Endless waves of pleasure just cresting and breaking | “无穷无尽的快感 一波波来袭” |
| [03:15] | for hours and hours…” Blah, blah, blah. | “耐力持久 坚挺不倒” 诸如此类的 |
| [03:17] | “Orgasms so intense that you just black out.” | “能带你到达幸福的巅峰 直至闭目久久回味” |
| [03:21] | All that stuff. | 全说的这些 |
| [03:22] | Robin, how can I possibly live up to that review? | 罗宾 你这样会让我觉得有压力的 |
| [03:26] | What? You know what you’re doing down there. | 怎么啦 你功夫的确了得 |
| [03:28] | Oh, Teddy Westside can bring it. We know this. | 这倒可以在我网站上小提一下 此话是不假 |
| [03:31] | But that is not the point. | 但这不是重点 |
| [03:33] | I mean, you broke the first rule | 重点是你破坏了当红娘的 |
| [03:34] | of setting people up: undersell. | 第一准则 不能瞎吹 |
| [03:36] | It’s like, if someone’s never seen The Karate Kid, | 就像你不能跟没看过《功夫梦》的人说 |
| [03:39] | you don’t say, “It’s the greatest movie ever.” | “这是史上最牛电影” |
| [03:41] | You say, “Uh, it’s pretty good”” | 你应该说”不错 还行吧” |
| [03:42] | And then they see it, it blows their freakin’ mind. | 等他们看之后 发现电影爽翻天 |
| [03:45] | Because Cobra Kai sensei’s all like, “Sweep the leg!” | 因为柯布拉·凯的师傅说”扫堂腿”时 |
| [03:48] | And Daniel-san’s all like… | 丹尼尔君就会… |
| [03:59] | Maybe I did oversell you a bit. | 我确实有点吹过了 |
| [04:02] | Thank you guys so much for helping us out with this stuff. | 实在太感谢你们来帮我俩收东西 |
| [04:04] | Oh, it gives us | 没什么啦 |
| [04:05] | a rare insight into the makings of Barney Stinson. | 这可是个了解巴尼·斯丁森的绝佳机会呢 |
| [04:08] | Hmm. | 没错 |
| [04:09] | Like, look at this. | 看这个 |
| [04:10] | Who was a cute little basketball player | 在变成世界无敌大变态之前 |
| [04:13] | before he became t biggest pervert in the world? | 还是个小小篮球手呢 |
| [04:17] | I loved Pee Wee basketball. | 我爱死儿童篮球队了 |
| [04:19] | Well, until they kicked me off the team… | 直到他们把我踢出球队 |
| [04:22] | I was so awesome, | 只因我太无敌了 |
| [04:23] | the coach asked me to quit | 教练只好劝我退出 |
| [04:25] | because it wasn’t fair to the other kids. | 因为那样对其他孩子太不公平 |
| [04:32] | That sounds plausible. | 说的跟真的一样 |
| [04:33] | Hey. It’s true. | 本来就是真的 |
| [04:35] | Tell him, James. | 你告诉他 詹姆斯 |
| [04:36] | Oh, yeah, he had, like, a four-foot vertical leap. | 没错 他当时可是垂直腾空四英尺啊 |
| [04:39] | He would hit it from the outside, | 他能在外围远投 |
| [04:40] | hit it from the inside… | 禁区内灌篮 |
| [04:42] | He sucked. | 他逊毙了 |
| [04:43] | Coach cut him from the team, | 教练把他踢出球队 |
| [04:44] | and Mom fed him that story so he’d feel better. | 然后我妈编个故事安慰他 |
| [04:46] | Oh, my God! Look at this. | 天啊 快看这个 |
| [04:48] | My letter from the Postmaster General. | 邮政大臣给我写的信 |
| [04:51] | I still can’t believe he took the time to write this… | 我一直不敢相信 他居然抽空写信给我 |
| [04:54] | “Dear Barney…” | 亲爱的巴尼 |
| [04:57] | I sincerely apologize about losing all the invitations | 在此 我要向你表示诚挚的歉意 |
| [05:00] | you sent out to your eighth birthday party. | 因为寄丢了你所有八岁生日派对的请帖 |
| [05:03] | That’s why none of your classmates showed up. | 导致了你的同学们都没能出席 |
| [05:07] | Not because you threw up | 这当然不是因为上次在天文馆 |
| [05:09] | when they turned the lights off at the Planetarium. | 灯一熄灭你就吓得吐了一地 |
| [05:11] | No one even noticed that. | 其实根本没有人注意到 |
| [05:14] | Also, Janey Masterson’s mother is a whore, | 还有 杰尼·马特森的妈妈是个 |
| [05:19] | and with gin on her breath at 10:00 in the morning, | 大早上就灌黄汤的荡妇 |
| [05:22] | she’s got some nerve kicking us out of the carpool. | 她吃了豹子胆居然敢不再跟我们拼车 |
| [05:26] | Love, Postmaster General. | 爱你的 邮政大臣 |
| [05:33] | Thank you. | 谢谢 你哟 |
| [05:36] | Does your mom make stuff like that up a lot? | 你们妈妈经常这么糊弄他吗 |
| [05:37] | Constantly. | 向来如此 |
| [05:39] | I mean, she put more effort into some lies than others. | 她撒谎有些处心积虑 有些就见机行事 |
| [05:42] | Mom? Who’s my dad? | 妈妈 我爸爸是谁 |
| [05:44] | All the other kids at school know who their dad is. | 学校里其他的孩子 都知道自己的爸爸是谁 |
| [05:47] | Who’s mine? | 我爸爸呢 |
| [05:49] | Oh, I don’t know… | 我不清楚 |
| [05:51] | That guy. | 就是他 |
| [05:55] | Did she tell you | 她有没有告诉你 |
| [05:55] | that Bob Barker was your dad, too? | 鲍勃·巴克也是你爸爸[著名节目主持人] |
| [05:57] | No. No, no. I heard Flip Wilson, | 不不不 我的版本是福利普·威尔森 |
| [06:00] | Bill Cosby, James Earl Jones, | 比尔·科斯比 詹姆斯·厄尔·琼斯 |
| [06:03] | Meadowlark Lemon… | 梅德拉克·勒蒙[黑人篮球明星] |
| [06:06] | The list goes on. | 版本层出不穷 |
| [06:06] | I still can’t get a straight answer about who my real dad is. | 但我还是不知道我的亲生父亲到底是谁 |
| [06:09] | And Barney’s no help. | 巴尼又屁事不管 |
| [06:11] | He still believes | 他依然相信 |
| [06:12] | every lie that my mom told us growing up. | 我妈在我们年少无知时撒的每一个谎 |
| [06:14] | Not me. I caught on early. | 我就不信 哥早就识破了 |
| [06:17] | Careful! | 小心 |
| [06:18] | Michael Jackson sent me this glove for my tenth… | 这手套是迈克尔·杰克逊送给我10岁的… |
| [06:21] | Damn. | 还是中计了 |
| [06:26] | Loretta really lied a lot to her kids. | 洛蕾塔真的对她的孩子们撒了不少谎呢 |
| [06:28] | Well, she’s not alone. | 不只她一个人 |
| [06:29] | Whenever Marshall was acting too hyper, | 每次马修兴奋过头的时候 |
| [06:31] | his mom would suddenly decide he was “Sick” | 他妈妈就会说这是生病的症状 |
| [06:34] | and give him cough medicine until he passed out. | 然后给他吃咳嗽药 吃到晕倒为止 |
| [06:38] | I’m pretty sure that’s what stunted my growth. | 我敢肯定 这事严重影响了我的发育 |
| [06:40] | I hit 6’4″ In the fifth grade, | 自从五年级长到2米1之后 |
| [06:41] | and then I just stopped. | 就再也没长过了 |
| [06:43] | And then there’s the most popular parental lie in history. | 这是史上最著名的父母谎言了吧 |
| [06:47] | Santa. | 圣诞老人 |
| [06:48] | Yeah, but that’s a good lie. | 是啊 不过是个善意的谎言 |
| [06:50] | Like when we tell Ted | 就像我们总跟泰德说 |
| [06:51] | he’ll meet the right girl and settle down. | 他一定会遇到他的真命天女 然后安定下来 |
| [06:53] | I always find that reassuring. | 这句话的确能让我安心呀 |
| [06:54] | You will meet her, buddy. | 你一定会遇到她的 兄弟 |
| [06:56] | – You think so? – Yeah! | -你这么觉得 -没错 |
| [06:59] | Santa’s still a lie, and I’m not lying to our kids. | 圣诞老人是不存在的 我可不会对我的小孩说谎 |
| [07:02] | Baby, it’s Santa. | 宝贝 这可是圣诞老人啊 |
| [07:04] | Don’t you want our kids going to sleep | 你难道不希望我们的孩子 |
| [07:06] | on Christmas Eve with their hearts full of hope, | 在平安夜里躺在小床上 |
| [07:09] | their heads full of crazy cough syrup nightmares, | 虽然脑子里满是止咳糖浆的噩梦 |
| [07:11] | knowing that downstairs kris Kringle is | 却依然充满希望地想着楼下 |
| [07:14] | stuffing their stockings full of joy | 圣诞老公公往他们的袜子里填满快乐 |
| [07:15] | and stuffing his belly full of milk and lutefisk that they left him? | 然后享用留给他的牛奶和鳕鱼吗 |
| [07:19] | Milk and lutefisk? | 牛奶和鳕鱼 |
| [07:20] | Santa doesn’t get cookies in Minnesota? | 圣诞老人在明尼苏达吃不到饼干吗 |
| [07:23] | Yeah, that’s just what Santa needs at 3:00 a.M. | 切 圣诞老人凌晨3点 |
| [07:25] | when he’s battling a snowstorm over the Rockies: | 在翻越了落基山脉 勇斗暴风雪后 |
| [07:27] | a sugar crash. No. Santa needs protein. | 会吃那种糖屑吗 他要补充蛋白质 |
| [07:30] | I’m not lying to our kids | 反正我不会跟我们的孩子说谎 |
| [07:33] | Valentines. | 情人节卡片 |
| [07:34] | The second base of third grade. | 三年级时期所谓的二垒 |
| [07:36] | I always got a Valentine from every single girl in my class. | 我每年都收到全班每个女生的情人节卡片 |
| [07:40] | Funny how all these girls have the exact same handwriting | 有趣的是 所有这些女生的笔迹都相同 |
| [07:44] | as the Postmaster General, Mom, and… | 还有邮政大臣的笔迹 妈妈的 和… |
| [07:47] | home run king, Frank Aaron. | 棒球之王 弗兰克·阿龙 |
| [07:51] | Yeah, school girls… | 小女生嘛 |
| [07:53] | The more they ignore you, pretend to hate your guts, | 表面上无视你 装作恨你入骨 |
| [07:55] | lock you in the coatroom over winter break, | 还会在寒假时把你所在衣帽间里 |
| [07:58] | the more they secretly like you. | 其实却是在暗恋你哦 |
| [08:01] | This isn’t… | 这张不是 |
| [08:03] | Who’s Sam Gibbs? | 谁是山姆·吉布斯 |
| [08:05] | No idea. Why? Hmm. | 不知道 怎么了 |
| [08:06] | Mom addressed this and never sent it. | 妈妈填了地址 却没有寄出去 |
| [08:08] | What’s in it? | 里面写了什么 |
| [08:15] | Hey. | 瞧 |
| [08:16] | It’s a picture of you and me when we were little kids. | 这是咱俩小时候的合照 |
| [08:21] | On the back, Mom wrote… | 背面 妈妈写着… |
| [08:23] | “Your son.” | “你儿子” |
| [08:30] | Okay, everyone, lunch is ready. | 好了 各位 午饭准备好了 |
| [08:32] | Who wants Sloppy Joes? | 香喷喷牛肉酱汉堡 谁要吃 |
| [08:33] | Mom, who’s Sam Gibbs? | 妈 山姆·吉布斯是谁 |
| [08:37] | That doesn’t sound familiar. | 好像没听说过啊 |
| [08:38] | Who wants Sloppy Joes? | 香喷喷牛肉酱汉堡 谁要吃 |
| [08:40] | There’s a picture of me and Barney | 这有封写着他的地址却没寄出的信 |
| [08:41] | in an envelope addressed to him. | 里面有我和巴尼的照片 |
| [08:43] | And you wrote “Your son” On the back. | 反面你写着”你儿子” |
| [08:44] | Oh, no, that… | 额 这个啊 |
| [08:46] | It says “Yourson.” | 上面写着的是”尔子镇” |
| [08:48] | For Yourson, North Dakota. | 北达科他州的尔子镇啦 |
| [08:50] | That’s where we took the picture. Lovely town. | 这照片就是在那里拍的 真是个好地方 |
| [08:52] | We went kayaking, and you two rescued the mayor’s dog | 我们去划爱斯基摩人的筏子 你们俩英勇地从急流里 |
| [08:55] | which had wandered into the rapids. | 救出了市长家的狗 |
| [08:57] | That mayor, Sam Gibbs, | 那个市长 就叫山姆·吉布斯 |
| [08:59] | asked for your picture so the city | 他本想在市里给你们塑雕像 |
| [09:00] | could make statues of you both. | 问我要你们的照片 |
| [09:02] | I guess I never sent it. That’s embarrassing. | 我觉得你们俩长得太抱歉 就没寄出去 |
| [09:04] | Now, how about those Sloppy Joes? | 好了 谁要吃牛肉酱汉堡 |
| [09:07] | If this picture was taken in North Dakota, | 如果照片是在北达科他州照的 |
| [09:09] | then why is our old swing set in the background? | 为什么背景中 还有我们家的老秋千 |
| [09:12] | I don’t know! | 我不知道 |
| [09:15] | I did my best as a single parent, | 作为一个单亲妈妈 我尽心尽力 |
| [09:16] | and it wasn’t always easy, | 我容易吗我 |
| [09:17] | and I’d recommend putting the coleslaw | 我在肉馅汉堡上夹了 |
| [09:19] | right on top of the Sloppy Joe, because it’s delicious that way! | 凉拌卷心菜 因为这样很好吃 |
| [09:25] | Can you believe her? | 你相信她吗 |
| [09:27] | I know. | 不信 |
| [09:29] | Forgetting to send the photo. | 怎么能忘记寄照片呢 |
| [09:31] | That poor sculptor had to work from memory. | 那边可怜的工匠 得靠记忆雕琢了 |
| [09:33] | Those statues probably look nothing like us. | 这些雕像很可能根本不像咱俩 |
| [09:35] | Damn it, Mom! | 都怪你 妈妈 |
| [09:38] | – So, Ted? – Hmm? | -泰德 -干嘛 |
| [09:39] | You were worried | 你不是担心 |
| [09:40] | that I oversold you to Liz. Well, I fixed it. | 我在利兹面前吓吹你吗 这问题我解决了 |
| [09:43] | – How? – I sent her another email. | -怎么解决的 -我给她发了一封邮件 |
| [09:45] | “Dear Liz. I hope it didn’t sound | 亲爱的利兹 希望我跟你说的话 |
| [09:48] | “Like I was trying to oversell Ted. | 听起来不像是在夸大其词 |
| [09:49] | “The truth is, he is a genuinely nice, down to earth guy, | 事实上 他是个真正善良诚实的好人 |
| [09:53] | and I think you two would really hit it off.” | 我想你们俩真的很相配 |
| [09:55] | Thank you. Thank you. That’s perfect. | 谢谢你 谢谢你 太好了 |
| [09:57] | That totally takes the pressure… | 真让我如释重负 |
| [09:58] | “Is he going to rock your world in bed? No. | 他会在床上让你爽翻天吗 不会 |
| [10:01] | “But he’s clean, | 但至少他还算干净 |
| [10:02] | “Open to criticism, and not into anything too weird. | 虚心接受批评 但是不喜欢太怪异的事情 |
| [10:06] | “He’s not bad at all. | 他还不错 |
| [10:07] | Not bad at all.” | 不算太糟的那种 |
| [10:09] | See, now you went too far in the other– | 你现在又到另一个极端了 |
| [10:10] | “I’ll be honest. The first few times | 老实说 一开始几次 |
| [10:12] | “Aren’t going to be that great. | 当然感觉不会太好 |
| [10:14] | “He’s going to say ‘Are you finished?’ | 他会问 你爽够了没 |
| [10:15] | more times than a waiter in a busy restaurant.” | 比繁忙的饭店服务员问得还勤快 |
| [10:17] | Stop! | 别说了 |
| [10:18] | Listen to me. There is no Yourson, North Dakota. | 听好了 根本没有北达科他州的尔子镇 |
| [10:21] | – Mom. – And Sam Gibbs wasn’t the mayor. | -妈 -山姆·吉布斯也不是什么市长 |
| [10:24] | He might be one of our fathers. | 他有可能是咱俩其中一人的爸爸 |
| [10:26] | Well, he’s not my dad. My dad’s Bob Barker. | 他不可能是我爸爸 我爸爸是鲍勃·巴克 |
| [10:28] | Barney! You… You’ve got to stop living | 巴尼 你该从妈妈讲的 |
| [10:30] | in these fairy tales that Mom told us! | 童话故事里醒醒了 |
| [10:33] | Bob Barker is not your father. | 鲍勃·巴克不是你爸爸 |
| [10:34] | Sam Gibbs might be, | 山姆·吉布斯倒是有可能 |
| [10:37] | but Bob Barker is absolutely, unequivocally not your father. | 但鲍勃·巴克是完全没可能 |
| [10:44] | I suppose you have a problem with the Easter Bunny, too. | 我猜你也不相信复活节兔子 是吧 |
| [10:46] | Not now. | 现在别提 |
| [10:48] | This address isn’t too far. | 这个地址不算太远 |
| [10:50] | Are you coming with me, or not? | 你要不要跟我一起去 |
| [10:53] | So we’re doing this? | 我们真要这么做吗 |
| [10:55] | We’re really going to go disturb | 我们真的要在 |
| [10:56] | the peaceful Long Island retirement | 一个星期天的下午去打扰 |
| [10:58] | of the former mayor of Yourson, North Dakota | 北达科他州的尔子镇的前市长 |
| [11:01] | on a Sunday afternoon? | 在长岛的平静生活吗 |
| [11:02] | Real classy, James. Real classy. | 干得漂亮 詹姆斯 干得漂亮 |
| [11:04] | You’re just too scared to face the truth. | 你就是不敢直面真相 |
| [11:05] | You’re living in a dream world. | 你是在自欺欺人 |
| [11:12] | Maybe we shouldn’t have brought these Sloppy Joes. | 或许我们不应该把香喷喷牛肉酱汉堡给带上 |
| [11:15] | Oh, what’s done is done. | 吃都吃上了 |
| [11:19] | “Ted Mosby is solid as a rock.” | 泰德·莫斯比像石头一样结实 |
| [11:22] | No. “Dependable.” | 不对 是可靠 |
| [11:24] | No. | 不对 |
| [11:25] | “Rugged.” No. | 是健壮 还是不对 |
| [11:27] | Why don’t I just go to the Chevy Web site | 还不如我直接去雪佛莱的官网 |
| [11:28] | and copy down adjectives? | 把形容车的词都复制一遍呢 |
| [11:30] | I just want to hit that perfect middle ground. | 我只是想找到最贴切的形容 |
| [11:33] | How about we just go wildly to both extremes | 还不如我们直接走两个极端 |
| [11:36] | and just let them balance each other out? | 然后让它们自己找平衡 |
| [11:38] | “Ted Mosby is really handsome, but extremely violent, | 泰德·莫斯比英俊非凡 但是无比暴力 |
| [11:42] | “And really rich, | 非常富有 |
| [11:43] | but lacks bladder control.” | 但膀胱不太好 |
| [11:47] | – Oh, damn. – What? | -靠 -怎么了 |
| [11:48] | That last bump just made me hit send. | 刚才那一下 我按到发送键了 |
| [11:50] | – Oh, no. – Don’t worry. | -糟了 -别着急 |
| [11:52] | I’m sure that everyone will get it’s a joke. | 我保证每个人都知道这只是个玩笑 |
| [11:54] | No, they won’t. They’re going to think… | 不会 他们会认为 |
| [11:56] | Wait. “Everyone”? | 等等 每一个人吗 |
| [12:00] | “Really rich”? | 非常富有 |
| [12:06] | You ready for this? | 你准备好了吗 |
| [12:08] | For what? | 准备什么 |
| [12:09] | I don’t know who lives here, but it’s not my dad. | 我虽然不知道谁住这 但肯定不是我爸 |
| [12:16] | Wait. Wait. | 等等 |
| [12:18] | Please, stop. | 拜托 等一下 |
| [12:19] | Just… just give me a second, okay? | 让我说几句话 行吗 |
| [12:21] | – I thought you said that he… – Stop. | -我还以为你会说 -别说了 |
| [12:23] | Come on. | 拜托 |
| [12:24] | I know Bob Barker’s not really… you know. | 我知道鲍勃·巴克根本不是 你懂的 |
| [12:27] | I’m not crazy. | 我没疯 |
| [12:29] | I just… | 只是 |
| [12:32] | I needed that. | 我需要这个谎言 |
| [12:35] | I know it may sound stupid, | 虽然这听起来可能很傻 |
| [12:36] | but I didn’t always feel so great about myself growing up, | 在成长的过程中 我并不总是自我感觉良好 |
| [12:37] | and so having a celebrity dad made me feel special. | 所以有个名人老爸 能让我感觉与众不同 |
| [12:41] | But you’re right, James. | 但你是对的 詹姆斯 |
| [12:44] | It’s time to let go of the fantasies. | 是该跟这些幻想说再见了 |
| [12:48] | It’s time to grow up. | 是该长大了 |
| [12:51] | Come here. | 过来 |
| [13:09] | Can I help you? | 有事吗 |
| [13:10] | Yeah. Um… | 是的 |
| [13:13] | you’re Sam Gibbs. | 你是山姆·吉布斯吗 |
| [13:14] | Yes. | 是的 |
| [13:16] | I’m James Stinson, | 我是詹姆斯·斯丁森 |
| [13:18] | and, uh, I think | 我想 |
| [13:20] | you may have known my mother, Loretta Stinson… | 你可能认识我母亲 洛蕾塔·斯丁森 |
| [13:23] | in the ’70s. | 七十年代的时候 |
| [13:25] | Loretta! | 洛蕾塔 |
| [13:26] | Yeah. | 认识 |
| [13:28] | Yeah. | 何止认识 |
| [13:29] | Yeah, I-I… I knew Loretta. | 是啊 我认识洛蕾塔 |
| [13:32] | My mother meant to send you this. | 我母亲本来想把这个寄给你的 |
| [13:46] | You’re my son. | 你是我儿子 |
| [13:58] | God, this must be so hard for Barney. | 天 巴尼肯定很难过 |
| [14:02] | Yeah, but you know what? | 是的 但是你知道吗 |
| [14:03] | He took a big step today… | 他今天跨出了一大步 |
| [14:04] | Papa! | 爹啊 |
| [14:10] | Uh-oh. | 不是吧 |
| [14:17] | Look at us! | 看看我们仨 |
| [14:19] | It’s like three of the same guy. | 三个人长的一模一样 |
| [14:23] | Oh, my God, this explains | 老天 这就能解释 |
| [14:24] | why I was always so awesome at basketball. | 我为什么篮球打得那么棒了 |
| [14:27] | Guys, I’m black! | 各位 我是个黑人 |
| [14:30] | Sorry. African-American. | 抱歉 非洲裔美国人 |
| [14:32] | No. I’m allowed to say either. | 不对 我两个都能说 |
| [14:34] | I got to go get my camera! | 我要去拿我的照相机 |
| [14:37] | That is my younger brother, Barney. | 这个是我弟弟 巴尼 |
| [14:39] | He just thought he’d meet his real dad today, | 他以为今天能见到他的亲生父亲 |
| [14:42] | and clearly, he’s not taking it so well. | 显然 这个打击有点大 |
| [14:44] | Oh, my head’s kind of spinning, too. | 我也有点兴奋 |
| [14:45] | I mean, Loretta and I only saw each other | 我和洛蕾塔只在一起了 |
| [14:48] | for a couple of months. | 几个月 |
| [14:50] | You were two before I even knew you existed, | 你两岁时我才知道有你 |
| [14:52] | and at that point, | 那时 |
| [14:53] | your mother made it very clear | 你母亲的态度很明确 |
| [14:54] | she was going to raise you on her own. | 她要独自抚养你长大 |
| [14:57] | I felt I had to respect her wishes, but | 我只好尊重她的意愿 但是 |
| [15:00] | I always wanted to meet you. | 我一直都想见到你 |
| [15:02] | Wait. | 等等 |
| [15:03] | Barney and James are two years apart. | 巴尼和詹姆斯差两岁 |
| [15:05] | If Sam only knew Loretta for a few months, | 山姆只跟洛蕾塔在一起几个月 |
| [15:07] | he couldn’t possibly be Barney’s father. | 他不可能是巴尼的父亲 |
| [15:10] | He’s also quite the detective. | 他也很会推理 |
| [15:16] | Don’t worry. We’ll, uh… | 别担心 我们会 |
| [15:18] | We’ll snap Barney out of this when he gets back. | 等巴尼回来 我们会让他重新振作起来 |
| [15:20] | Or, uh, we could just | 或者 我们可以 |
| [15:22] | let him have this one. | 让他拥有这个幻想 |
| [15:24] | What? Are you kidding? | 什么 你开玩笑呢吧 |
| [15:24] | Guys, Barney’s losing his childhood home, | 各位 巴尼失去了他童年的家 |
| [15:27] | he finally admitted Bob Barker’s not his dad, | 也终于承认鲍勃·巴克不是他爸 |
| [15:29] | and then he watched James meet his real father. | 现在他又目睹了詹姆斯找到亲生父亲 |
| [15:32] | It’s just a lot to go through in one afternoon. | 这个下午他承受太多了 |
| [15:35] | Can’t we just let the guy be black for a day? | 难道就不能让他当一天黑人吗 |
| [15:39] | Here, Ted. Capture the moment! | 给 泰德 为我们记录这经典一刻 |
| [15:42] | I think you’d need Salvador Dali | 其实你最需要的是萨尔瓦多·达利[超现实主义绘画大师] |
| [15:43] | to capture this particular moment, | 帮你记录这经典时刻 |
| [15:44] | but I’ll give it a whirl. | 不过我会尽力的 |
| [15:47] | Man… | 天啊 |
| [15:48] | I thought I was a light-skinned Caucasian, | 我本来以为自己是个白白嫩嫩的高加索人 |
| [15:50] | but in truth, I’m a really light-skinned African-American. | 事实上 我是个白白嫩嫩的非洲裔 |
| [15:55] | Man, | 嘿呦 伙计 |
| [15:56] | try to hail a cab in Manhattan. | 想在曼哈顿打辆车 |
| [15:58] | Am I right? | 我说对了吧 |
| [15:59] | Nope, no one’s stopping for this. | 不 这张脸可拦不到车 |
| [16:03] | These guys don’t understand what I’m talking about. | 他们不懂我在说什么 |
| [16:06] | During that afternoon, Sam and James began to discover | 那天下午 山姆和詹姆斯一直试着寻找 |
| [16:09] | how much they had in common. | 他们之间的共通点 |
| [16:11] | *When the night has come* | *当夜晚来临* |
| [16:17] | *Oh, and the land is dark* | *大地一片黑暗* |
| [16:18] | Come on. You know this. Come on. | 一起来 你会唱这首歌的 |
| [16:20] | *And the moon is the only – The moon* | *而月亮是那… 月亮* |
| [16:24] | *Light we see* | *唯一光亮* |
| [16:25] | *Light we’ll see* | *唯一光亮* |
| [16:27] | *Light we’ll see* | *唯一光亮* |
| [16:28] | *Oh, I won’t – Oh, I won’t* | *我不会* |
| [16:29] | *No, I wo-oh-on’t* | *我不会* |
| [16:30] | *Be afraid – Be afraid* | *感到害怕* |
| [16:31] | *Hey! Ho* | *嘿 吼* |
| [16:32] | *I won’t shed a tear* | *我不会轻易掉泪* |
| [16:34] | *No, I won’t shed no tear* | *不 我不会轻易掉泪* |
| [16:36] | *Not as long – Not as long* | *只要你* |
| [16:37] | *As you stand – As you stand* | *一如既往* |
| [16:40] | *Stand by me – Stand by me* | *在我身旁* |
| [16:42] | Here you go. Come on. | 来 一起来 |
| [16:42] | *Whenever you’re in trouble, won’t you stand* | *每当你遭遇困难 你会不会* |
| [16:45] | *Stand by me* | *在我身旁* |
| [16:47] | *Stand by me, stand by me – Won’t you stand?* | *在我身旁 在我身旁 你会不会* |
| [16:50] | *Won’t you stand now? Won’t you stand now? Hey!* | *你会不会在我身旁* |
| [16:52] | *Stand… – Stand…* | *在我身旁* |
| [16:55] | – Weird day. – Weird day. | -真是雷人又累人的一天 -的确 |
| [17:00] | Hey, look at that. | 来看看这个 |
| [17:01] | Liz still wants to meet you. | 利兹想见见你 |
| [17:02] | That’s great! | 那真是太棒了 |
| [17:05] | I guess. | 我猜 |
| [17:06] | Wait a minute. | 等等 |
| [17:08] | You said Liz was a total ten. | 你说利兹是个满分的完美女人 |
| [17:11] | Why would she want to meet | 她怎么会想见 |
| [17:12] | the incontinent freak show you described? | 你口中的这个怪胎呢 |
| [17:16] | You oversold her! | 又是你自己瞎吹的吧 |
| [17:18] | Maybe a little. | 或许是夸张了一小点 |
| [17:19] | You said she was a ten. | 你说她是个满分 |
| [17:20] | I did not specify on what scale. | 但我又没说评分的标准是什么 |
| [17:23] | You said she looked like a movie star. | 你说她长得像电影明星 |
| [17:24] | She does. | 没错 |
| [17:25] | It’s Robert De Niro, | 她像罗伯特·德尼罗 |
| [17:27] | but, like, super buff, like in Cape Fear. | 但像在《恐怖角》的扮相 |
| [17:30] | Dad, look how fast I can run! | 老爸 看我跑得多快 |
| [17:34] | He’s actually a really sweet guy, | 其实他是个很可爱的小伙子 |
| [17:35] | and he’s great with my son. | 而且他跟我儿子处得很好 |
| [17:38] | I have a grandson? | 我都有孙子了 |
| [17:42] | His name’s Eli. | 他叫伊莱 |
| [17:48] | He’s beautiful. | 长得真可爱 |
| [17:50] | Dad, you’re not looking! | 爸 看我啊快看我 |
| [17:53] | Eventually, | 最终 |
| [17:54] | the strangest afternoon of our lives wound to a close, | 我们人生中最怪异的下午画上了句号 |
| [17:57] | and we headed back to Staten Island, | 我们驱车返回史丹顿岛后 |
| [17:58] | where Barney and his mom had a long overdue heart-to-heart. | 巴尼和他妈妈敞开心扉聊了好久好久 |
| [18:02] | Barney? | 巴尼 |
| [18:03] | I need to talk to you. | 我得和你谈谈 |
| [18:05] | Uh, me first. | 我先说 |
| [18:06] | Mom, | 妈 |
| [18:07] | there’s something that I need to ask you, | 我想问你一些事情 |
| [18:09] | and I… I want you to be honest with me. | 希望你能够诚实回答 |
| [18:15] | Why do white people like Carrot Top? | 为什么白人喜欢萝卜头[美国著名喜剧演员] |
| [18:24] | Listen… | 听着 |
| [18:27] | I always wanted to be enough for you boys. | 我一直想让你和哥哥过得快乐 |
| [18:31] | I think that’s why it always hurt | 所以每次你们问起爸爸是谁的时候 |
| [18:33] | whenever you asked about your dads, | 总是让我很难过 |
| [18:35] | because I was always | 因为我一直努力地 |
| [18:36] | trying so hard to be both parents for you. | 去弥补你们缺少了的父爱 |
| [18:40] | But I was being selfish. | 我是有些自私 |
| [18:44] | You deserve the truth. | 你应该知道真相 |
| [18:46] | So here it is. | 所以听着 |
| [18:49] | Sam is not your father. | 山姆不是你的爸爸 |
| [18:52] | Are you sure? | 你确定吗 |
| [18:54] | Yes. | 当然 |
| [18:55] | He’s black, dear. | 他是黑人 亲爱的 |
| [18:59] | But if you want, | 如果你想知道的话 |
| [19:01] | I can tell you who your father really is. | 我能告诉你 你的亲生父亲是谁 |
| [19:06] | And at that moment, | 在那一刻 |
| [19:08] | Barney suddenly saw his childhood more clearly than he ever had before. | 巴尼的儿时记忆清晰地浮现眼前 |
| [19:14] | I’m sorry, but your son can’t be on the team. | 不好意思 你的儿子不能加入球队 |
| [19:17] | He’s terrible. | 他太糟糕了 |
| [19:21] | What’d Coach say, Ma? | 妈 教练说了什么 |
| [19:23] | He said you’re simply too good to be on the team. | 他说你不能加入球队 因为你太无敌了 |
| [19:25] | It’s not fair to the other boys. | 这对其他孩子不公平 |
| [19:28] | But that’s okay. | 但没关系 |
| [19:30] | We can just play together in the backyard. | 我们可以在后院玩儿 |
| [19:32] | Why didn’t anyone come? | 为什么没有人来 |
| [19:35] | Oh, you know what, dear? | 你知道吗 亲爱的 |
| [19:37] | Apparently, there was a mix-up with the mail. | 显然邮局出了点差错 |
| [19:40] | I just got this letter from the Postmaster General. | 我刚刚收到邮政大臣的来信 |
| [19:44] | “Dear Barney, I sincerely apologize | 亲爱的巴尼 在此我要向你 |
| [19:47] | “for losing all the invitations | 表示诚挚的歉意 因为寄丢了 |
| [19:50] | you sent out to your eighth birthday party.” | 你所有八岁生日派对的请帖 |
| [20:08] | Barney. | 巴尼 |
| [20:09] | It’s okay, Mom. | 没事的 妈妈 |
| [20:10] | I don’t need it. | 我不需要 |
| [20:11] | But it’s your father. | 但这是你爸爸的照片 |
| [20:13] | I already have a father. | 我已经有个爸爸了 |
| [20:17] | And his name… | 他的名字就是 |
| [20:19] | is Loretta. | 洛蕾塔 |
| [20:24] | Kids, your uncle Barney grow up without a dad | 孩子们 巴尼叔叔长在单亲家庭 |
| [20:27] | and it always made him feel incomplete. | 这让他觉得人生总有残缺 |
| [20:29] | But as he hugged Loretta, | 但当他抱着洛蕾塔 |
| [20:31] | surrounded by the box stuff reminisced his happy childhood, | 那些让他想起快乐童年的旧物围绕着他时 |
| [20:34] | he realized he had one hell of a mom. | 他发现 他有个满分老妈 |
| [20:42] | *If the sky – If the sky* | *即使* |
| [20:44] | *We look upon – Mmm…* | *我们头顶的* |
| [20:47] | *Should tumble and fall – Should tumble and fall* | *天空塌下* |
| [20:50] | *Or the mountains should crumble* | *即使山崩呀山崩* |
| [20:55] | *To the sea, to the sea…* | *海枯啊海枯* |
| [20:58] | Wait. Dad! James! | 等等 老爸 詹姆斯 |
| [21:01] | Where are you going? | 你们去哪儿 |
| [21:02] | That’s the best part. | 三人合唱才是最棒的 |
| [21:05] | Can we go camping? | 我们能去野营吗 |