时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:01] | Kids, in the fall of 2010, | 孩子们 在2010年的秋天 |
[00:03] | I was designing the new headquarters | 巨人国家银行委派我 |
[00:05] | for Goliath National Bank, | 设计一座新的总部大楼 |
[00:06] | which meant working side by side | 这意味着 我和你们的巴尼叔叔 |
[00:08] | with your Uncle Barney. | 并肩作战 一起工作 |
[00:09] | I love your idea | 我喜欢你提议的点子 |
[00:11] | about a giant rooftop ring of fire | 在屋顶安置一个巨大的火圈 |
[00:12] | you can jump through with a motorcycle, | 这样你就可以骑着摩托钻过去 |
[00:13] | but I tweaked it slightly and… | 不过我做了一点小小的改动 |
[00:15] | This is still super bad-ass. | 仍然超级无敌的 |
[00:17] | It’s now a patio garden | 屋顶建一座空中花园 |
[00:19] | where you can bring a nice bag lunch. | 你可以带午餐上去吃 |
[00:22] | Sick. | 真牛逼 |
[00:23] | Yeah. | 没错 |
[00:24] | Dude. | 兄弟 |
[00:25] | Working together is gonna be legen– | 一起工作 一定会成为传… |
[00:29] | Wait for it. | 等等 |
[00:30] | I’ll send you an inter-office memo with the rest | 没说完的字 我会用办公室内部备忘发给你 |
[00:32] | ’cause we freakin’ work together! | 因为我们现在在一起工作了 |
[00:34] | Everything was going great. | 一切都进展得很顺利 |
[00:36] | That is, right up until Barney said… | 然而就在这时 巴尼说 |
[00:38] | Oh, big news. | 重大消息 |
[00:39] | The board finally settled on a site for the building. | 新楼的选址终于敲定了 |
[00:42] | It was the site of The Arcadian, | 新址选在阿卡迪亚酒店这块地 |
[00:43] | one of New York’s grandest old hotels. | 纽约最古老的旅馆之一 |
[00:45] | In its heyday, | 在它最辉煌的时期 |
[00:46] | it was the New York home to kings and queens. | 这里是国王和皇后们在纽约的家 |
[00:48] | But lately… | 但现在… |
[00:52] | …mostly just queens. | 只剩下扮装皇后了 |
[00:54] | Hi, handsome. | 嗨 帅哥 |
[00:55] | Lookin’ for a date? | 想找个伴吗 |
[00:57] | Uh, no, thank you. | 不了 谢谢 |
[01:00] | Still got it. | 我还挺有魅力的 |
[01:03] | Barney, we have to talk. | 巴尼 我们得谈谈 |
[01:06] | Sure. What’s up? | 当然 怎么了 |
[01:07] | Excuse me, Mr. Stinson. | 打扰了 斯丁森先生 |
[01:08] | Not now, Trish! | 等会再来 翠施 |
[01:09] | But there’s an urgent memo for Mr. Mosby. | 但这是一封加急备忘 给莫斯比先生的 |
[01:15] | – “Dary.” – Legendary! | -“奇” -传奇 |
[01:18] | So, what’s on your mind? | 你刚才要说什么来着 |
[01:22] | I can’t design the building. | 这楼 我不设计了 |
[01:38] | Oh, yeah. | 太好了 |
[01:40] | Oh, baby. No, no. | 宝贝 不行不行 |
[01:42] | Not the slipper socks with the rubber soles. | 别穿着橡胶脚垫的丝光袜 |
[01:45] | I work so hard to-to set the mood, | 我花了好多心血来营造这浪漫的情调 |
[01:47] | and-and when I see those, | 可我一看到这个 |
[01:49] | I feel the egg go | 我就觉得我的卵子 |
[01:51] | right back up my Fallopian tube. | 直接从输卵管缩回去了 |
[01:53] | Baby, these satin sheets are slippery. | 宝贝 这缎面的床单太滑了 |
[01:55] | – Papa needs traction. – Traction? | -爸比需要加大摩擦 -什么摩擦 |
[01:57] | As you know, | 你也知道 |
[01:58] | Papa likes to get down with enthusiasm. | 爸比十分享受翻云覆雨的过程 |
[02:00] | Please stop calling yourself “Papa.” | 别再管你自己叫”爸比”了 |
[02:02] | And without traction, | 但没有了摩擦 |
[02:03] | Papa’s likely to boogie himself right out of bed. | 爸比我只想赶紧了事 离开这张床 |
[02:05] | It’s either these or soccer cleats. | 要么穿这双袜子 要么穿足球防滑鞋 |
[02:09] | Hey, so I talked to Robin. | 对了 我跟罗宾聊过了 |
[02:11] | I guess she and Max hooked up last night. | 我想她昨晚跟马克斯搞上了 |
[02:13] | Kids, as you may remember, | 孩子们 你们也许还记得 |
[02:15] | Max was a friend of Marshall’s from law school… | 马克斯是马修在法学院认识的朋友 |
[02:17] | with whom Robin was really starting to hit it off. | 最近正跟罗宾打得火热 |
[02:19] | Nice! I love that guy. | 还好了 我喜欢那家伙 |
[02:21] | Max is both his name and his level of awesomeness. | 大家伙马克斯 这个名字充分显示了他的优秀度 |
[02:25] | Yeah. He’s a sweet guy. | 没错 他人很好 |
[02:26] | She feels really comfortable with him. | 她跟他在一起觉得很舒服 |
[02:28] | They bonded over hockey. | 曲棍球让他们走到一起 |
[02:29] | I guess he has a small penis, | 我想他小弟弟应该很小 |
[02:31] | but they want to double-date next weekend. | 下周末他们想来个四人约会 |
[02:33] | Why would you tell me that? | 你干嘛告诉我这个 |
[02:36] | So you’ll clear your schedule. | 好让你空出时间来啊 |
[02:37] | No! The other part! | 不 上一句 |
[02:39] | Oh, the small penis thing? | 小弟弟的事吗 |
[02:41] | Ah! Don’t! Stop saying that! | 停 别说了 别再说了 |
[02:42] | Why do you keep saying that? You… | 你干嘛要不停地说 |
[02:43] | I don’t want to know that. | 我不想知道这个 |
[02:45] | I’m not going to be able to look the guy in the eye. | 我以后没法直视他的眼睛 |
[02:46] | I’m certainly not going to be able to call him “Max.” | 也肯定没法叫他”大家伙” 了 |
[02:49] | That’s insane. | 你真有病 |
[02:50] | I mean, just because you know Max has a small penis– | 就因为你知道大家伙马克斯有个小弟弟 |
[02:53] | Just don’t! | 别说了 |
[02:55] | You’re kidding me. | 你开什么玩笑 |
[02:57] | I’m sorry. I can’t do this | 对不起 我做不到 |
[02:58] | if it means tearing down The Arcadian. | 因为这意味要拆毁阿卡迪亚酒店 |
[03:00] | It’s an architectural landmark. | 它可是一座标志性建筑 |
[03:02] | Plus, people live there. | 而且还有人住在里面呢 |
[03:04] | How does GNB plan to get hundreds of residents | 巨人银行打算怎么遣散 |
[03:06] | to just up and leave? | 这数百名居民 |
[03:07] | – Snakes. – Did you just say “snakes”? | -放蛇 -你刚才是不是说”蛇”这个词儿了 |
[03:08] | I don’t recall saying “snakes”” | 我不记得我刚有说过 |
[03:10] | Ted, I know you love crappy old stuff no one cares about. | 泰德 我知道你热爱那些无人问津的老古董 |
[03:14] | But I’m gonna give you four words to live by: | 但我要送你一句四字箴言 |
[03:17] | New is always better. | 旧不如新 |
[03:21] | New is always better? | 旧不如新 |
[03:23] | You know who’s a million times hotter | 你知道谁会比 我睡过最辣的妞 |
[03:25] | than the hottest girl I’ve ever slept with? | 还要好上一百万倍吗 |
[03:27] | Her okay-looking friend I haven’t seen naked. | 她身边还没被我扒光 还算看得过眼的朋友 |
[03:30] | Why? | 为什么 |
[03:32] | Because new is always better. | 因为 旧不如新 |
[03:34] | Mm-hmm? And this theory applies to everything? | 是吗 这理论放之四海而皆准吗 |
[03:37] | Everything. | 没错 |
[03:38] | So, those new Star Wars movies… | 那新拍的《星球大战》的电影 |
[03:40] | those are better than the old ones? | 也比那些老版的更好吗 |
[03:42] | Yeah. The first three barely mention | 没错啊 头三部根本没有提到 |
[03:45] | the intricacies of intergalactic trade law. | 银河贸易法的错综复杂之处 |
[03:48] | And when you’re at a Guns n’ Roses concert, | 可当你去听枪炮与玫瑰乐队的演唱会时 |
[03:50] | you’re like, “Yeah, yeah, Paradise City, whatever. | 你是不是会说 《天堂之城》也就那样吧 |
[03:52] | “When are they gonna rock me some Chinese Democracy”? | 应该唱几首《民主大中国》的歌 比较带劲 |
[03:56] | Axl’s really matured as a songwriter, Ted. | 作为一位作曲家 阿历克斯真的成熟了 |
[03:59] | Wendy! I’d like to buy my friend a drink. | 温迪 我想请我朋友喝杯酒 |
[04:01] | What’s your oldest Scotch? | 最陈年的苏格兰威士忌是什么 |
[04:03] | Glenmckenna, aged 30 years in oak casks. | 格兰麦肯纳 封存在橡木桶里30年 |
[04:06] | Amazing. | 超赞的 |
[04:07] | And what’s your newest scotch? | 那你这儿最新的苏格兰威士忌呢 |
[04:08] | Jumbo Jim’s Grape Scotch. | 大吉姆葡萄威士忌 |
[04:12] | Don’t let it touch your skin. | 千万不要喝 |
[04:15] | Your call, buddy. | 你决定吧 兄弟 |
[04:19] | A glass of the J-Jumbo Jim’s Grape Scotch sounds lovely. | 一杯大吉姆葡萄威士忌 听起来不错 |
[04:23] | Lots of ice. | 多来点冰块 |
[04:25] | New is always better, Ted! | 旧不如新 泰德 |
[04:27] | That’s a rule. | 这是规律 |
[04:28] | Just like bigger is always better | 就像小不如大一样 |
[04:30] | Pfft. That’s not true. | 胡说 才不是呢 |
[04:32] | Uh, sometimes smaller is better. | 有时候小 反而更好 |
[04:34] | “Hey, look how big my cell phone is!” | “各位快看 我的手机跟砖头一样大” |
[04:36] | You don’t hear people say that. | 你听过有人这样说吗 |
[04:39] | No. You want something compact | 没有 你需要的是 |
[04:40] | and efficient that fits comfortably in your pocket, | 能塞进你口袋的 小巧好用的手机 |
[04:43] | And I think this Max is just a great guy. | 而且我觉得马克斯是个不错的男人 |
[04:46] | Lily told you. | 莉莉告诉你了 |
[04:47] | Told him what? | 告诉他什么了 |
[04:48] | Max has a small penis. | 大家伙马克斯有个小弟弟 |
[04:51] | How can you speak of such things? | 这种话 你们怎么说得出口 |
[04:53] | Girls talk about everything. | 女生之间无话不谈 |
[04:54] | Size, shape, | 大小 形状 |
[04:56] | left or right leaning orientation… | 放裤裆左边 还是右边 |
[04:57] | Length, resemblance to a historical figure, | 长度 就像一位著名的历史人物 |
[04:59] | such as Winston Churchill… | 温斯顿·丘吉尔[身高袖珍] |
[05:01] | Yes, that’s one of you. | 猜对了 说得就是你们其中之一 |
[05:02] | Girth, grooming… | 周长 毛发长势 |
[05:03] | How can you speak of such things? | 这种话你们怎么说得出口 |
[05:06] | You’re kidding. | 少给我装正经 |
[05:07] | Barney, every time I mention a woman you don’t know, | 巴尼 每回只要我提到个你不认识的妞 |
[05:10] | the first thing you say is, “Boobs?” | 你说的第一件事永远是 “咪咪如何” |
[05:12] | Not the complete sentence, “Does she have big boobs?” | 连句完整的”她咪咪大不大”都懒得说 |
[05:15] | Which also would not be great. | 其实都一样让人不爽 |
[05:16] | Just: “Boobs?” | 永远只会说 “咪咪如何” |
[05:18] | I do not do that. | 我才不那样的 |
[05:20] | My friend Lori from work… | 我同事罗芮 |
[05:21] | Boobs? Damn it. | “咪咪如何” 我靠 |
[05:23] | But… seriously. | 但是…话说回来 |
[05:24] | Boobs? | 咪咪如何啊 |
[05:25] | So why is it okay for guys to talk about boobs, | 那凭什么男人谈论咪咪就天经地义 |
[05:28] | but the moment we bring up a topic | 而我们女人刚提起个话题 |
[05:29] | like Max’s small penis– | 像是马克思的小小弟弟 |
[05:32] | I’m gonna pretend this conversation never happened. | 你们刚什么都没说 我什么都没听见 |
[05:34] | Impossible. | 怎么可能 |
[05:35] | Max’s penis is stuck in my brain like a splinter. | 马克思的弟弟像个小倒刺在我脑子里扎根了 |
[05:38] | Like a splinter-sized splinter. | 小倒刺尺寸的小弟弟 |
[05:41] | Speaking of disappointing weenies… | 说起不尽人意的小弟弟 |
[05:43] | Ted, tell them what you told me. | 泰德 告诉他们你刚说的话 |
[05:45] | I want to ask the board at GNB | 我想让巨人国行的董事会 |
[05:48] | to move the site for the new headquarters | 改变新总部的选址 |
[05:50] | so we don’t have to tear down a classic old building. | 这样就不用拆掉一栋经典建筑了 |
[05:52] | I still don’t get this. | 我就不明白了 |
[05:53] | Why, all of a sudden, out of nowhere, | 你咋就 莫名其妙突然间就 |
[05:56] | do you want to ruin– | 你是不是想毁了– |
[05:58] | Wait a minute. | 咦 等一下 |
[06:00] | Who’s the girl? | 哪家的妞 |
[06:03] | – Duh. – Of course there’s a girl. | -这就对了 -肯定是为了妞嘛 |
[06:04] | What? I… | 啥 我… |
[06:06] | There’s no g-girl. | 哪儿有什么妞不妞的 |
[06:08] | Why would you even– | 你们干嘛 |
[06:10] | Her name is Zoey. | 她叫苏伊 |
[06:13] | Boobs? | 咪咪如何 |
[06:19] | Beautiful building, right? | 多美的建筑啊 不是吗 |
[06:21] | Look, mister, you are very convincing, | 是这样的 先生 你的外表很有说服力 |
[06:24] | and I am very flattered. | 本人深感荣幸 |
[06:26] | Confused, even. | 差点忘了你的真身 |
[06:28] | But I’m not looking… | 但我这不是来找… |
[06:29] | I’m not a drag queen. | 我不是那种扮装皇后 |
[06:31] | But you definitely have me rethinking this eye shadow. | 不过我确实该考虑换个眼影了 |
[06:35] | Not only is she funny, | 她不光幽默 |
[06:37] | hot and genetically female, | 辣 是个货真价实的女人 |
[06:39] | but get this… | 还懂这个… |
[06:41] | Look at the Palladian windows, the rusticated stonework, | 看那帕里迪奥式窗 充满乡村气息的石雕 |
[06:44] | the marble cornices… | 那大理石飞檐 |
[06:47] | She’s an architecture nerd! | 她是个建筑迷耶 |
[06:49] | A hot architecture nerd! | 一个辣到爆的建筑迷 |
[06:50] | That’s the dream! | 简直梦想成真 |
[06:52] | Whose dream? | 谁做这种梦 |
[06:53] | We wound up talking for hours. | 我俩兴奋地聊了几个小时 |
[06:56] | I love how old parts of the city are. | 我爱这座城市老旧的部分 |
[07:00] | It makes me feel connected to history. | 让我觉得自己与历史相连 |
[07:02] | Old is always better. I can’t wait to be old. | 新不如旧 我都等不及想变老了 |
[07:04] | Me, too. | 我也是 |
[07:05] | You can wear elastic everything. | 衣服可以穿各种带松紧的 |
[07:07] | Your lipstick doesn’t have to stay inside the lines. | 口红随便涂 不用担心涂到唇线外面 |
[07:09] | You can shoplift and pretend you’re just confused. | 可以在商店顺手牵羊 然后装老糊涂 |
[07:13] | – You could nap anywhere. – Uh-huh. | -在哪儿都能打盹儿 -没错 |
[07:15] | Even while driving. | 甚至是开车的时候 |
[07:16] | It’s gonna be great. | 爽翻了 |
[07:18] | I can’t wait to be all run-down and weathered and wrinkly. | 我早等不及退化 饱经风霜 满脸褶子了 |
[07:21] | Well, I’d say you got a pretty long wait. | 看你现在的样子 你有的等了 |
[07:25] | That’s sweet. | 真窝心 |
[07:26] | It would be sweeter if you hadn’t thought i was a tranny before, | 要是你之前没把我当成男人 我会更觉得窝心 |
[07:30] | but it’s still sweet. | 不过还是很甜蜜 |
[07:32] | Oh, Ted, that’s so romantic. | 泰德 好浪漫哦 |
[07:34] | I want to fill a pillowcase | 让我特想拿个 |
[07:36] | with dead batteries and beat you with it. | 装满废电池的枕套 抡你 |
[07:38] | Hey, Ted, | 泰德 |
[07:40] | can I ask you something? | 能帮我个忙吗 |
[07:41] | Anything. | 赴汤蹈火 |
[07:47] | Will you sign this petition? | 能签这个请愿书吗 |
[07:50] | “Save The Arcadian”” | “拯救阿卡迪亚” |
[07:52] | We are gonna stop the bastards at Goliath National Bank from demolishing it. | 我们不能让巨人国家银行的那帮杂种毁了它 |
[07:58] | Will you support us? | 你会支持我们吗 |
[08:00] | And you said…? | 然后你说啥了 |
[08:04] | Where do I sign? | 签在哪儿 |
[08:08] | Grape scotch. Not bad. | 葡萄味威士忌 不错哦 |
[08:14] | Ted, you only think The Arcadian needs to be saved | 泰德 你之所以不想拆阿卡迪亚酒店 |
[08:17] | because some pretty girl thinks that. | 是因为某个辣妹不想拆 |
[08:19] | And seriously… | 而且 说正经的 |
[08:20] | Boobs? | 咪咪如何 |
[08:21] | This isn’t about the girl. | 这跟那姑娘没半毛钱关系 |
[08:23] | It’s about the building. | 是那栋建筑 |
[08:24] | And what did this “Zoey” say | 那这位苏伊小姐 |
[08:27] | when she found out that you’re the one | 在得知你 |
[08:29] | tearing down her beloved Arcadian? | 就是拆掉她心爱建筑的元凶 |
[08:31] | That you, Ted Mosby, | 你 泰德·莫斯比 |
[08:32] | are the Architect Of Destruction? | 就是破坏计划的设计师之后 她作何感想 |
[08:35] | Sweet wrestling name alert. | 要开始甜蜜的挣扎咯 |
[08:39] | Well… | 这个… |
[08:39] | Uh, it’s a… it’s a funny thing about that… | 这个嘛 说来有趣 |
[08:42] | So what do you do, Ted? | 你是做什么的 泰德 |
[08:44] | I’m a veterinarian. | 我是兽医 |
[08:47] | What? I panicked! | 咋了 我慌了 |
[08:48] | This whole Arcadian thing is classic Mosby. | 这个偶遇事件充分凸显了典型莫斯比 |
[08:51] | Changing your personality to fit some girl. | 会为了迎合女生 而改变自己 |
[08:53] | I don’t do that. | 我才不那样呢 |
[08:57] | Well, off to meet Steph. | 我要去见斯黛啦 |
[08:59] | We’re adrenaline junkies! | 我们追求刺激一簇 |
[09:06] | Penelope is taking me to the Battle of Gettysburg. | 佩内洛普要带我重温葛底斯堡战役 |
[09:09] | We’re gonna eat squirrel! | 我们要吃松鼠哦 |
[09:18] | Look, she’s really hot, okay? | 她真的很辣 好不好 |
[09:23] | Come on! Come on! | 别这样嘛 拜托 |
[09:26] | We all change a little for whoever we’re into. | 我们对喜欢的人多少会迁就 |
[09:28] | Barney pretended to be a rabbi to get laid. | 巴尼为骗个女孩儿上床 装成犹太祭司 |
[09:30] | Asian girls love them some Jews. | 亚裔美女喜欢带点犹太风情的 |
[09:33] | And Marshall never would’ve listened | 要不是为了莉莉 |
[09:34] | to The Indigo Girls if it weren’t for Lily. | 马修这辈子都不会去听蓝色少女合唱 |
[09:36] | Um, I think you got that backwards there, Chief. | 我想某人乐不思蜀了呢 首长 |
[09:39] | And you’re welcome. | 不用太客气哦 |
[09:42] | The point is, you weren’t pretending | 我要说的是 你并不是在 |
[09:43] | to like the Indigo Girls for the other person. | 为对方佯装你喜欢蓝色少女 |
[09:45] | You realized you liked them because of the other person. | 而是对方让你意识到 你是真的喜欢 |
[09:48] | Just like me, Zoey and The Arcadian. | 就像我 苏伊和阿卡迪亚酒店一样 |
[09:51] | Did GNB really put snakes in The Arcadian? | 巨人国行真的往楼里放蛇了吗 |
[09:54] | No. | 怎么会 |
[09:55] | Technically, they were eggs. | 严格的说 只放了蛇蛋 |
[09:57] | – Did you just say “eggs”? – I don’t recall saying “eggs.” | -你刚是不是说蛇蛋 -我不记得我有说过 |
[10:00] | So I walk into my boss’s office | 于是 我就走进老板的办公室 |
[10:03] | and suddenly I realize, | 然后突然意识到 |
[10:04] | “Holy crap, I’m about to quit”” | “我的天啊 我要辞职了” |
[10:07] | Small penis. | 小弟弟 |
[10:08] | You have a small penis. | 你弟弟很小哦 |
[10:10] | Oh, that super interesting, but you have a small penis. | 你真幽默啊 但你弟弟太小了 |
[10:13] | Damn it, Marshall! | 靠 马修 |
[10:15] | Okay. Okay. Think of any two words | 淡定 除了”小”和”弟弟” |
[10:17] | other than “small” or “penis.” | 随便想两个别的词 |
[10:19] | Got it: small penis. | 想到了 “小弟弟” |
[10:21] | Damn it! | 妈的 |
[10:22] | Yeah, I-I think it is so cool that you started your own law firm. | 你能成立自己的律师事务所 是很了不起的事 |
[10:25] | Well, right now it’s a pretty small practice. | 没什么啦 现在规模还很小 |
[10:29] | Hey, hey. | 别谦虚 |
[10:31] | I bet it’s not that small. | 肯定没那么小 |
[10:34] | Bro, it’s… | 老兄 |
[10:35] | pretty small. | 确实非常小 |
[10:37] | Yeah, but, uh, you know what they say. | 但是 人们常说 |
[10:38] | The important thing is-is how you use it, you know? | 关键是你怎么使用它 对吧 |
[10:40] | “The motion of the ocean.” That whole thing. | 像《海的韵律》那个故事一样 |
[10:42] | He said it’s small, Marshall, and everybody’s fine with that. | 他说小就小吧 马修 大家没意见 |
[10:45] | Let’s just move on. | 我们谈谈别的 |
[10:46] | I’m just saying that I bet it’s bigger than he thinks. | 我的意思是 我打赌肯定比他认为的要大些 |
[10:50] | And thick. | 更厚实 |
[10:53] | Nah. Everything about it is tiny. | 没有 它小到骨子里了 |
[10:54] | The office is tiny. The conference room is tiny. | 办公的地方小 两侧的会议室更小 |
[10:57] | Plus, I got a very small staff. | 而且 我的员工也少得可怜[我的精子也少得可怜] |
[10:59] | Let’s order! | 我们点菜吧 |
[11:01] | As I was mustering the courage to call Zoey | 就在我鼓起勇气打算”打电话给苏伊 |
[11:03] | and tell her my true identity… | 并且告诉她我的真实身份” |
[11:06] | Zoey… | 苏伊 |
[11:08] | I’m Batman. | 我是蝙蝠侠 |
[11:09] | Hmm. That’d be cool. | 能这么讲该多好 |
[11:11] | …the strangest thing happened. | 最诡异的事情发生了 |
[11:19] | I need your help. | 我需要你的帮助 |
[11:20] | Just to warn you. | 先提醒你 |
[11:21] | What I’m about to show you is not a hundred percent legal. | 我等会要给你看的有可能违法 |
[11:25] | Wasn’t expecting bunnies. | 真没想到会是兔子 |
[11:28] | I stole them, Ted. | 我偷来的 泰德 |
[11:29] | My animal rights group liberated these guys | 我的保护动物权利小组 |
[11:31] | from an evil cosmetics company. | 从一个邪恶的化妆品公司解救了这些兔子 |
[11:33] | And I figured, “Hey, Ted’s a vet. | 我想 正好泰德是个兽医 |
[11:35] | He can check them out and make sure they’re okay.” | 他可以给它们检查一下 保证它们的健康 |
[11:37] | Absolutely. Just let me run up and get my bag of vet supplies. | 当然 我先上去拿来我的兽医专用工具包 |
[11:41] | Okay. | 好的 |
[11:42] | Why would I say that? | 我为什么要说我是兽医呢 |
[11:45] | Well, I know what I’m getting. | 我想好要点什么了 |
[11:48] | The porterhouse. | 上等腰肉牛排 |
[11:49] | I’ve had it here before. | 我以前在这家店吃过 |
[11:50] | It is like this. It’s huge. | 肉有这么厚 |
[11:55] | Well, spare no expense, buddy. | 别省钱 老兄 |
[11:55] | Dinner is on me, and-and get dessert. | 这顿我请 再点些甜点 |
[11:57] | Maybe this molten chocolate lava cake? | 这个巧克力熔岩蛋糕怎么样 |
[12:00] | I just want you to be happy. | 只要你高兴就好 |
[12:02] | Thanks, man. | 谢谢 老兄 |
[12:03] | Next time, it is on me. | 下顿我请 |
[12:05] | Excuse me. I’ll be right back. | 不好意思 我去下洗手间 |
[12:07] | We’ll just be here. | 我们在这儿等你 |
[12:12] | You’re great. | 你是个好人 |
[12:14] | Ah. Thanks, bro. | 谢谢夸奖 老兄 |
[12:16] | It’s, uh…. it’s going on a while. | 抱的时间有点长了 |
[12:19] | I know. | 我知道 |
[12:20] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
[12:22] | Damn, baby, be cool! | 靠 宝贝 你淡定点 |
[12:24] | You’re acting like he has six months to live. | 你搞得好像他就剩6个月的命了 |
[12:27] | It’s your fault! | 都是你们的错 |
[12:28] | You ladies and your salty sailor talk! | 你们俩女人和你们喝酒闲聊的对话 |
[12:31] | Oh, come on! What about you men and your locker room talk? | 拜托 你们男人和你们更衣室里的对话呢 |
[12:34] | Locker room talk. | 更衣室对话 |
[12:35] | Do you want to know what it’s like in a men’s locker room? | 你真想知道在男更衣室里是什么状况吗 |
[12:38] | It’s just a bunch of uncomfortable dudes | 一帮不自在的大老爷们 |
[12:41] | trying to get out of there as quickly as possible. | 想赶紧穿衣服走人 |
[12:44] | And one old guy just letting it all hang out. | 还有一个老头子 赤裸裸地站那遛鸟 |
[12:48] | Are you suggesting that guys don’t talk about sex? | 难道你是说男人从来不谈论自己的性生活吗 |
[12:51] | Yes, we do, but you know what we say? | 不 我们谈 但我们怎么说的你知道吗 |
[12:53] | “I hit that.” | 哥搞了个女的 |
[12:55] | “I got some.” | 哥来了次双飞 |
[12:56] | “I tapped it.” | 哥玩了把群交 |
[12:57] | “I squeezed those.” | 哥抓了把咪咪 |
[12:59] | Discreet and efficient. | 简洁到位 |
[13:00] | Not to mention classy. | 用词还很老套 |
[13:02] | Thank God that I’m not dating. | 幸好我现在不用约会了 |
[13:03] | If I thought that Lily talked in that much detail | 如果我一想到莉莉大谈特谈 |
[13:06] | about our sex life, I’d probably kill myself. | 我们的性生活的话 我会恨不得自杀的 |
[13:11] | Oh, no. | 不会吧 |
[13:14] | What did you tell her? | 你告诉她什么了 |
[13:15] | I told her nothing. | 我什么都没说 |
[13:17] | We don’t talk about you! | 我们从来不谈论你 |
[13:19] | Are you sure? | 确定一定以及肯定吗 |
[13:21] | Yeah. That argument has no traction whatsoever. | 对 反正我们从来没谈过你的摩擦力理论 |
[13:26] | You just broke in and stole these guys? | 你就这么破门而入 去偷那些家伙的东西吗 |
[13:29] | Aren’t you worried about getting arrested? | 难道你都不担心被抓的吗 |
[13:30] | Nah. I’ve been arrested lots of times. | 没事 我都被抓过好多次了 |
[13:43] | Chinese Democracy. | 《民主大中国》是张烂专辑 |
[13:47] | You’re a little bit crazy. | 你的行为还真有点疯狂 |
[13:49] | Well, I’m usually crazy for a good cause. | 我都是因为做好事才会变得疯狂 |
[13:52] | I can’t just sit by while voiceless people or animals, | 当不会说话的人或动物 甚至大楼 |
[13:55] | or even buildings get screwed over. | 面临危险时 我不能袖手旁观 |
[13:57] | I’m certainly not going to just sit by | 当然 国家巨人银行想把阿卡迪亚酒店 |
[13:59] | while GNB turns The Arcadian into a soulless metal box. | 变成一座没有灵魂的金属盒子 我也绝不袖手旁观 |
[14:02] | Yeah. Yeah. | 对 你说得对 |
[14:04] | Although I hear there’s a lovely rooftop patio | 尽管我听说会设计一个可爱的顶楼露台 |
[14:06] | where folks can enjoy a nice bag lunch, so… | 让人们可以好好享受自备的午餐 |
[14:08] | Ted, I will find the bastards at GNB responsible for this, | 泰德 我会揪出那个巨人银行的混蛋负责人 |
[14:12] | and I promise you, | 我向你保证 |
[14:14] | I will take them down. | 我一定会 打垮他们 |
[14:18] | Cuckoo! | 活该了吧 |
[14:20] | Ted, this woman is an anarchist, | 泰德 这个女人是个扰乱分子 |
[14:22] | a sociopath, a lunatic, | 反社会分子 极端分子 |
[14:24] | and for the love of God, boobs?! | 还有看着上帝的份上 咪咪如何 |
[14:28] | Solid C-cup, perky bounce. | 坚挺的C杯 来回乱蹦 |
[14:30] | Momentary grudging respect. | 短暂勉强地致敬一下 |
[14:34] | Zoey does what she believes is right, | 只要苏伊相信是对的 她就会坚定不移地去做 |
[14:36] | and I want to do the same thing. | 我也想成为她那样的人 |
[14:38] | We have to find a new site for this building. | 我们得给大楼重新选址 |
[14:40] | Ted, that is never gonna happen. | 泰德 这不可能 |
[14:41] | Well, I can’t tear down The Arcadian. | 我不能拆毁阿卡迪亚酒店 |
[14:44] | I’m sorry, but I’m off the project. | 抱歉 我不干了 |
[14:47] | Hey, guys! | 伙计们 |
[14:48] | I appreciate the great turnout, | 我很感谢到场人数能这么多 |
[14:50] | but just so we’re all on the same page, | 鉴于我们的意见一致 |
[14:52] | this is not a rally to legalize marijuana. | 但这真的不是让大麻合法化的游行 |
[14:55] | Oh, bummer! | 你个无赖 |
[15:00] | Hey. | 嗨 |
[15:01] | Hey, Ted. | 嗨 泰德 |
[15:02] | I’m so glad you came. | 我真高兴你能来 |
[15:04] | Well, you really got to me the other night. | 那天晚上 你的话让我深受启发 |
[15:06] | I want to get involved with “Save The Arcadian.” | 我也想参与到”拯救阿卡迪亚”的行动中 |
[15:09] | Great. I’ll grab you a picket sign. | 很好 我给你拿个标牌吧 |
[15:13] | Do you want “GNB puts the douche in fiduciary..”” | 你是要”巨人银行轻信于一个混球” |
[15:18] | …or “It’s always 4:20 somewhere”? | 还是要”在某处永远都是4点20分”呢 |
[15:21] | Dudes, you forgot your signs! | 伙计 你忘了拿你的标牌 |
[15:23] | As I looked up at that magnificent old structure, | 我抬头看这座宏伟的古老建筑 |
[15:26] | I realized I wasn’t letting my feelings for Zoey mislead me. | 我意识到 苏伊没有误导我的感觉 |
[15:30] | This building really was worth saving. | 这座大楼真得值得保存 |
[15:37] | Ted, everything okay? | 泰德 你还好吧 |
[15:38] | Yea… um… um… | 没 呃 没事 |
[15:44] | You work for GNB? | 你为巨人银行工作 |
[15:49] | Dude, why are you dressed like a wizard? | 伙计 为什么你穿得跟个男巫一样 |
[15:52] | She was really hot, okay? | 她真的很辣 好不好 |
[16:05] | How the hell could you do that? | 你到底怎么做到的 |
[16:07] | Simple. I rented the chair. | 很简单 我去租了把椅子 |
[16:09] | The bunny was here already. That was lucky. | 这只兔子本来就在这儿了 真巧 |
[16:11] | I waited to do the dramatic swivel | 直到听见你把钥匙插进门之前 我一直等着 |
[16:12] | until I heard your key enter the door. | 做这个充满戏剧性的转身动作 |
[16:13] | The billboard, Barney. | 那个广告牌是怎么回事 巴尼 |
[16:15] | I had to. Now that you have no shot with the girl, | 我必须这么做 现在你跟她之间没戏了 |
[16:17] | you’ll realize you never cared about the building, | 才会意识到 你从来都不关心那座大楼 |
[16:19] | and everything can go back to normal. | 然后一切都会恢复原样 |
[16:20] | You’re wrong. I do care. | 你错了 我很关心 |
[16:22] | And I’m still quitting. | 我不会改变决定的 |
[16:24] | Don’t you get it, Ted? | 你还不明白吗 泰德 |
[16:25] | We’re tearing down The Arcadian either way. | 无论如何 阿卡迪亚酒店都是要被拆毁的 |
[16:27] | It’s a stupid old piece-of-crap, | 这是一个愚蠢老旧 废物典型 |
[16:29] | run-down, snake-infested dump! | 破败不堪 毒蛇滋生的垃圾堆 |
[16:31] | Okay, are there or aren’t there snakes?! | 够了 到底那里有没有蛇 |
[16:33] | Who mentioned snakes?! | 谁说有蛇了 |
[16:35] | And stop shouting! | 别大声嚷嚷 |
[16:37] | You’re scaring Cottontail. | 你会把小棉尾巴吓坏的 |
[16:39] | You named the rabbit? | 你还给这兔子起名字了 |
[16:40] | You took longer to get here than I thought, | 谁让你比我预期的还要晚回来 |
[16:42] | we bonded, I’m keeping her. | 我们已经结盟了 它跟我了 |
[16:43] | The point is, | 重点是 |
[16:45] | you now have a chance | 机会来了 |
[16:46] | to design your own building. | 一个全权归你设计的大楼 |
[16:48] | Dude, you can do whatever you want with it. | 兄弟 你想怎么设计 就怎么设计 |
[16:51] | You’re right. | 你说得对 |
[16:53] | You’re right. I can design it however I want. | 你说得对 我可以随心所欲设计 |
[16:56] | So you’re back in? | 那你决定回来了吗 |
[16:58] | Yeah. | 是的 |
[17:00] | That night, as I worked on a new design | 那天晚上 我致力于重新设计 |
[17:03] | that just might solve all my problems… | 一个能解决我所有问题的方案 |
[17:08] | …Marshall was visited by a disturbing vision. | 而一个让人不爽的幻想 悄悄地来访马修 |
[17:11] | Ugh, he thinks I like this… | 唉 他以为我好这口 |
[17:13] | But it feels disgusting. | 但其实感觉很恶心 |
[17:16] | Uh, it looks disgusting. | 看起来就很恶心 好不好 |
[17:18] | Um… | 呃 |
[17:20] | Uh, is this working for you? | 这么做 你会有感觉吗 |
[17:22] | “Uh, is this working for you?” | “这么做 你会有感觉吗” |
[17:24] | Oh, of course, | 当然 |
[17:24] | because what woman doesn’t like being slobbered on | 因为女人最不喜欢 有某个巨物顶着她下体时 |
[17:27] | while some giant paws at her nether regions | 被口水淹没了 |
[17:30] | like Lenny from Of Mice and Men? | 就像《人鼠之间》里面的蓝尼一样 |
[17:32] | Oh, you’re bad. | 你真坏 |
[17:34] | More Cosmos? | 我说得对吧 |
[17:36] | I can’t… I can’t do this! | 不行 我做不下去 |
[17:37] | I can’t stop thinking about you and Robin! | 我总是忍不住去想你和罗宾 |
[17:39] | Oh, I’ve had that a couple times. | 我也幻想过好几次 |
[17:41] | Just lean into it and let it fuel things. | 好好享受 然后让欲望装满你的装备 |
[17:44] | Look, no. You know what? | 听着 不是这样的 |
[17:46] | Why don’t you just… | 你为什么 |
[17:47] | Why don’t you just call Robin, okay, | 你为什么不索性打给罗宾算了 |
[17:49] | and have a good laugh about it? | 然后把这过程当笑料 好好乐一下 |
[17:54] | Traction could have prevented that. | 穿着我的袜子 就可以避免惨剧发生 |
[18:02] | Well, hope you don’t mind, we made some changes to the billboard. | 希望你不介意 我们在广告牌上做了点小调整 |
[18:09] | Well, that explains a few voicemails. | 这倒解释了那几封语音邮件是怎么回事 |
[18:11] | Listen, Zoey, I think we can save The Arcadian. | 苏伊 我相信我们可以拯救阿卡迪亚酒店 |
[18:14] | No. Maybe not in the way you were picturing, | 可能不是你设想的那种方式 |
[18:17] | but I stayed up all night | 但我熬了一通宵 |
[18:18] | working on a new concept, all right? | 设计了一个新方案 |
[18:20] | What if my design could incorporate The Arcadian’s facade | 如果我的设计可以把阿卡迪亚的外墙 |
[18:23] | into the new GNB headquarters? | 和新巨人银行大楼融合在一起 |
[18:25] | Kids, it was one of those moments in life | 孩子们 这是生命中难得的 |
[18:28] | where everything comes together– | 事事顺心的一刻 |
[18:29] | the girl, the building,everything,until… | 女人 建筑 所有东西 直到 |
[18:35] | Are you married? | 你结婚了吗 |
[18:37] | So you were saying, the facade will be completely preserved? | 你刚说外墙将会完全保存下来吗 |
[18:45] | This isn’t about the girl. | 这跟辣妹没关系 |
[18:46] | It’s about the building. | 是为了建筑 |
[18:48] | Yeah, it was about the girl. | 好吧 我承认就是为了辣妹 |
[18:50] | Ted, wh-wh-what are you doing? | 泰德 你在干什么 |
[18:53] | This wouldn’t work. | 这办法不行 |
[18:54] | Zoey, The Arcadian was a really great building once, | 苏伊 阿卡迪亚酒店曾经是一个伟大的建筑 |
[18:57] | but it’s falling apart, and it’s full of snakes. | 但现在已经摇摇欲坠 而且里面到处是蛇 |
[18:59] | – Snakes? – I don’t recall saying snakes.thanks | -蛇 -谢谢 我不记得我有说过这个词儿 |
[19:02] | Then he gets this panicked look on his face, says, | 然后他满脸惊恐地说 |
[19:05] | “I can’t do this,” and storms out. | 我做不到 然后冲出去了 |
[19:07] | Wow, that is weird. | 确实很奇怪 |
[19:09] | But here’s the crazier part. | 但接下来部分更疯狂 |
[19:11] | No. You know what? | 不 你知道吗 |
[19:13] | Papa don’t back down from a fight. | 爸比遇到挑战 从不退缩 |
[19:15] | So why don’t you tell Robin… about this! | 所以你可以告诉罗宾 我有多勇猛 |
[19:21] | It was amazing. | 太爽了 |
[19:23] | He was passionate, animalistic, | 热情似火 野兽般勇猛 |
[19:26] | a complete stud. | 就像一只大种马 |
[19:28] | Wow. | 天啊 |
[19:29] | So he’s right there making you say all this, huh? | 他是不是就在你旁边 逼你说这些呢 |
[19:32] | Yup. “‘You’re like a Greek god,’ | 是滴 他就像希腊诸神 |
[19:35] | I moaned, as the…” | 我呻吟着 就像 |
[19:37] | I can’t read that, baby. | 我看不见 宝贝 |
[19:39] | “Musky scent of man.” | 充满男性气息 |
[19:41] | “As the musky scent of man | 充满男性气息 |
[19:44] | “and Marshall’s sure-footed traction intoxicated | 和马修摩擦力丝光袜 让我无比兴奋 |
[19:49] | and overpowered me.” | 彻底征服了我 |
[19:51] | That sounds real. | 听起来还挺真实 |
[19:52] | And as for Zoey, it was funny. | 至于苏伊 还挺有趣 |
[19:54] | I’d lied to her, then completely let her down. | 我不但骗了她 还让她很失望 |
[19:56] | And I barely knew the girl. | 而且我压根儿不了解她 |
[19:58] | But there was something about her. | 但她身上有种难以言说的特质 |
[19:59] | I couldn’t help but wonder if I’d ever see her again. | 我不禁想道 我会不会再见到她 |
[20:03] | Hey, Mosby! | 喂 莫斯比 |
[20:04] | You’re gonna have to come out of your hole at some point, | 你迟早要从你的洞穴里趴出来的 |
[20:09] | you son of a bitch! | 你个混球 |
[20:10] | Yeah! | 对 |
[20:11] | Legalize it! | 大麻合法化 |
[20:13] | Dude! | 老兄 |
[20:14] | Ready. | 准备 |
[20:16] | Aim. | 瞄准 |
[20:17] | Fire! | 开火 |
[20:19] | Why, yes. Yes I would see her again. | 是的 我会再见到她 |
[20:26] | – Hey. – Hey. – Hey. | -你们好 -好啊 -好 |
[20:29] | How’s it going with Robin? | 你和罗宾怎么样了 |
[20:30] | Uh, I think I have to break up with her. | 我得和她分手 |
[20:34] | – Really? – Why? – You with her? | -真的吗 -为什么 -你甩她啊 |
[20:36] | Yeah, well, there’s this… | 是啊 |
[20:39] | kind of weird thing she likes to do in the bedroom. | 她在床上喜欢玩一种很奇怪的花样 |
[20:42] | It just makes me uncomfortable. | 我觉得很不舒服 |
[20:45] | I get it. | 明白 |
[20:46] | Yeah, that is not for everyone. | 对 确实不是每个人都能接受 |
[20:49] | Hey, what’s not for everyone? | 什么不能接受 |
[20:52] | Guys, come on. What is it? | 伙计们 说嘛 是什么 |
[20:55] | Come on, bro. | 拜托 老兄 |
[20:56] | This is a locker room. | 更衣室里不谈这个 |
[20:59] | I… | 我 |
[21:04] | What do you think it was, Murray? | 你认为会是什么呢 莫瑞 |