| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | Kids, in the fall of 2010, | 孩子们 在2010年的秋天 |
| [00:03] | our friends Stuart and Claudia had a baby, | 我们的朋友斯图尔特和克劳蒂娅的孩子降临人世 |
| [00:05] | and Marshall and Lily were the first | 马修和莉莉立马就去拜访了 |
| [00:07] | to visit the happy new parents. | 这对兴奋的新父母 |
| [00:09] | So, have you guys landed on a name yet? | 你们给孩子取名字了吗 |
| [00:10] | We’re trying, but it’s tougher than you think. | 我们在努力 可这比想像的难多了 |
| [00:12] | You see, I like “Tiffany.” | 我喜欢蒂芙妮 |
| [00:14] | And I don’t want my daughter to have a whore’s name. | 我可不希望我女儿的名字跟妓女一样 |
| [00:16] | That’s my mother’s name. | 那是我妈的名字 |
| [00:17] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [00:19] | Oh, I got it. | 我知道了 |
| [00:20] | How ’bout we name the baby after you– “Frigid Shrew.” | 那孩子以你来命名吧 “性冷淡泼妇” |
| [00:23] | Oh, that’s good. | 那还不错 |
| [00:24] | No, no, no, no. | 不 不 不 |
| [00:25] | Let’s call her “Vodka.” | 叫她”伏特加”吧 |
| [00:27] | Then at least we know you’d hold her tight | 至少嗜酒如命的你会抱紧她 |
| [00:28] | and never let her go! | 打死也不撒手 |
| [00:30] | Don’t knock the vodka. Wouldn’t have a kid without it. | 不要拿伏特加说事儿 没它哪来的孩子 |
| [00:32] | Stuart, you are so… | 斯图尔特 你简直太 |
| [00:35] | That’s not gonna be us, right? | 我们不会这样的 对不对 |
| [00:36] | I mean, how hard can it be to name a baby? | 给孩子取个名字还能多难 |
| [00:39] | Right? I mean, just look at her. Yeah. | 没错 看看这个孩子 |
| [00:41] | She’s clearly a… | 她显然该叫 |
| [00:42] | – Emily. – Lisa. | -埃米莉 -丽莎 |
| [00:43] | – Lisa?! – Emily?! | -丽莎 -埃米莉 |
| [01:03] | Okay! I made a list of awesome baby names. | 我列了个名单 里面的名字都超赞 |
| [01:06] | Starting at the top: number one… | 从头开始 第一个是 |
| [01:08] | I’m gonna stop you right here, Marshall. | 马修 我不得不打断你一下 |
| [01:10] | You name a chubby white kid “LeBron,” | 你管一个胖乎乎白人小孩叫勒布朗 |
| [01:12] | and he’s the one getting stuffed in the basketball hoop. | 结果他腰围比篮球筐还粗 |
| [01:15] | Then I’m also crossing off, um, “Shaquille”… | 那我把这些篮球明星的都删了 沙奎尔 |
| [01:18] | “Hakeem,” and “Dikembe.” | 哈基姆 迪坎贝 |
| [01:22] | Hey, what about “Rob”? | 罗伯怎么样 |
| [01:23] | “Rob”? | 罗伯 |
| [01:25] | – No. – Why not? | -不 -为什么不 |
| [01:26] | Hey, Rob. What are you gonna make a turkey? | 罗伯 你打算怎么做火鸡 |
| [01:34] | Not “Rob.” | 罗伯不行 |
| [01:36] | Okay, um, how about “Ryan”? | 瑞安怎么样 |
| [01:44] | Not “Ryan.” | 瑞安不行 |
| [01:46] | “Johnny?” | 强尼 |
| [01:47] | Hey, where’s the goldfish? | 金鱼在哪去了 |
| [01:55] | Not “Johnny.” | 强尼不行 |
| [01:57] | Or “Gil.” | 吉尔也不行 |
| [02:02] | “Jeremy.” | 杰里米 |
| [02:06] | Jeremy, no! | 杰里米 不要 |
| [02:12] | Definitely not “Jeremy.” | 杰里米绝对不行 |
| [02:14] | His stuff was so derivative. | 他画的东西毫无创意可言 |
| [02:17] | Well, I mean, geez, Lily. | 天啊 莉莉 |
| [02:19] | Well, whatever you do, | 不管你们取什么名字 |
| [02:20] | do not name your baby “Becky,” right? | 都不会叫贝基对吧 |
| [02:22] | – Why? – What? What? | -为什么 -什么 |
| [02:23] | Becky. My new co-anchor? | 贝基 我的新搭档 |
| [02:27] | Don’t you guys ever watch the show? | 你们从来没看过我的节目 |
| [02:29] | – Oh, honey, I really try. – Our DVR won’t recognize it | -亲爱的 我试过 -我们的数字视频录像机 |
| [02:30] | as a television program. | 不能把它识别为电视节目 |
| [02:32] | I watched. | 我看了 |
| [02:34] | Robin insisted I confirm how “awful” Becky is, | 罗宾坚持让我目睹一下 贝基有多么糟糕 |
| [02:37] | so last night I checked it out. | 所以昨天晚上我确认了一下 |
| [02:39] | Peace talks in the region | 这个地区的和谈 |
| [02:41] | have been described as, “productive.” | 被称为”卓有成效” |
| [02:43] | Becky? | 贝基 |
| [02:44] | Last night, in Staten Island, | 昨天晚上 在斯塔腾岛 |
| [02:47] | a taco cart owner was robbed at gunpoint. | 墨西哥卷饼商贩被持枪抢劫 |
| [02:51] | That’s so sad. | 那太可怜了 |
| [02:53] | Becky, we’re-we’re journalists. | 贝基 我们是新闻工作者 |
| [02:54] | We can’t get emotional about the news, we… | 不能对这些新闻感情用事 |
| [02:56] | Oh, no! | 不 |
| [02:57] | They stole all his money and then pelted him | 他们偷了他所有的钱 |
| [02:59] | with his own taco meat! | 还用卷饼里的肉打他 |
| [03:00] | Who would do that? | 谁会做这种事 |
| [03:02] | Well, if you read the story, we might find out. | 如果你看了这个故事 我们就会揭发出来 |
| [03:06] | Oh, can I do this one, about the horse? | 我能报关于马的这个吗 |
| [03:09] | I love horseys. | 马什么的 最有爱了 |
| [03:12] | Aww, the horse died. | 马死了 |
| [03:14] | Guys! | 大伙 |
| [03:15] | This news is all really sad. | 这些新闻全部都让人悲痛 |
| [03:19] | Okay, no holds barred– what’d you think of Becky? | 你就毫不留情地说吧 贝基怎么样 |
| [03:27] | I thought she was charming. | 我觉得她非常迷人 |
| [03:29] | You, too? | 你也觉得 |
| [03:31] | Can somebody please explain to me | 有人能给我解释一下 |
| [03:32] | why the little girl act works on men? | 为什么这个小妞要在男人面前装童真 |
| [03:34] | You want the long version or the short version? | 你想要听长话长说 还是长话短说呢 |
| [03:36] | Short version. | 短说 |
| [03:37] | Short version. | 长话短说 |
| [03:39] | Who’s your daddy? | 谁是你爹地 |
| [03:41] | You know, when you think about that, | 当这句话从你口中说出来 |
| [03:43] | that phrase is really creepy. | 感觉特变态 |
| [03:45] | No, it’s not. It’s fun. | 不 挺有意思的 |
| [03:46] | Here, watch this. | 来 我说一遍 |
| [03:48] | Hey, Lily… Who’s your daddy? | 莉莉 谁是你爹地 |
| [03:52] | Okay, uh, let me get this straight. | 好吧 我把中心思想说明白点 |
| [03:54] | So, in, uh, in this scenario, | 在这个剧情里 |
| [03:55] | because you make such sweet love to Lily, | 因为你这么宠爱莉莉 |
| [03:57] | she is now your daughter. | 现在她是你女儿 |
| [03:59] | No, she is not my daughter. | 不 她不是我女儿 |
| [04:01] | I’m just her daddy. | 我只是她床上的主人 |
| [04:03] | Wow. That is disgusting. | 真让人厌恶 |
| [04:05] | Exactly. And it’s not like the opposite would work. | 没错 反过来就不成立了 |
| [04:07] | There’s no way a guy could pick up a girl, | 男人童言童语地说话 |
| [04:08] | going around talking like a little boy. | 是泡不到妞的 |
| [04:10] | – Challenge accepted. – No. | -接受挑战 -不 |
| [04:11] | I, Barney Stinson, | 我 巴尼·斯丁森 |
| [04:13] | will pick up a girl whilst talking like a little boy. | 能用童言童语泡到妞 |
| [04:19] | Okay. Here’s my list of baby names. | 这是我想的名字候选单 |
| [04:22] | Oh. What about “Tara”? | 泰拉怎么样 |
| [04:23] | No. Not “Tara.” | 不 泰拉不行 |
| [04:26] | Tara was the hottest girl in my high school. | 泰拉是我们学校的校花 |
| [04:28] | We were all, like, obsessed with her. | 我们所有人都对她着迷 |
| [04:29] | We didn’t just talk about her | 我们不仅仅谈论她 |
| [04:31] | and fantasize about her… | 意淫她 |
| [04:32] | We wrote songs about her. | 还写了一首歌 歌颂她 |
| [04:34] | * Tara, your booty is so smooth * | * 泰拉 你翘臀的曲线 迷死人 * |
| [04:40] | * And I hope this isn’t rude * | * 希望这不会太无礼 * |
| [04:45] | * But I want to get up on it.* | * 但我真的想上它 * |
| [04:49] | Not “Tara.” | 泰拉不行 |
| [04:51] | What about “Esther”? | 埃斯特怎么样 |
| [04:56] | Gentlemen, gentlemen. | 先生们 先生们 |
| [04:57] | Coming up on the main stage, | 即将登上主台的是 |
| [04:59] | give it up for Esther! | 埃斯特 掌声欢迎 |
| [05:01] | Oh. Oh. Hey, Barney. | 喂 巴尼 |
| [05:02] | That prime rib was surprisingly good, | 那个肋排肉确实很不错 |
| [05:05] | but it’s 10:30 in the morning. | 但现在才早上十点半 |
| [05:06] | I don’t need to see a lady get naked and dance. | 我还没性趣看女人跳脱衣舞 |
| [05:08] | Oh, Esther gets naked. | 衣服是肯定脱掉的 |
| [05:10] | But she doesn’t dance. | 但是埃斯特不表演跳舞 |
| [05:11] | Then what does she do? | 那她干嘛 |
| [05:19] | Sweet mother nature! | 偶滴个神呐 |
| [05:26] | That was my card! | 这真是我刚抽的牌 |
| [05:29] | Gentlemen, gentlemen. | 先生们 先生们 |
| [05:30] | Give it up for Esther! | 再次为埃斯特 献上热烈的掌声 |
| [05:36] | Not “Esther.” | 埃斯特不行 |
| [05:39] | I need a drink. Ted? Ted? | 我得来一杯 泰德 泰德 |
| [05:45] | Marshall, your list is entirely boy names. | 马修 你的名单是全是男孩名 |
| [05:47] | You do realize there’s roughly a 50% chance | 你知道你有大概一半的可能 |
| [05:49] | of you having a daughter, right? | 会生个女儿的吧 |
| [05:51] | Okay, honestly, I’ve never thought about having a girl. | 好吧 说实在的 我从没想过会生女孩 |
| [05:53] | I don’t want to think about having a girl. | 我也不想去考虑生女孩的事 |
| [05:56] | Tara, Esther– | 泰拉 埃斯特 |
| [05:57] | can you imagine being one of those girls’ dads? | 你能想象当那种妞的老爹 有多悲惨吗 |
| [06:00] | * Marshall’s daughter * | *马修的乖女儿* |
| [06:02] | * Your booty * | *你的翘臀* |
| [06:04] | * Your booty’s so smooth.* | *翘臀的曲线 迷死人* |
| [06:08] | Gentlemen, gentlemen. | 先生们 先生们 |
| [06:09] | On the main stage, give it up for Marshall’s daughter. | 即将登上主台的是 热烈欢迎马修的乖女儿 |
| [06:16] | He screwed up my childhood. | 是他毁了我的童年 |
| [06:18] | That’s why I do this. | 我才会堕落干这行 |
| [06:23] | I have no idea how to raise a daughter! | 我完全不知道该怎么养女儿 |
| [06:25] | What if she makes bad choices? | 万一她走歪路 怎么办 |
| [06:27] | I mean, what if she winds up dating some… | 我是说 要是她最后和那些… |
| [06:30] | Oh, God. | 上帝啊 |
| [06:32] | Papa, I want you to meet my new boyfriend. | 老爸 我要给你介绍我的新男友 |
| [06:37] | Hey, bro. | 好啊 兄弟 |
| [06:39] | Thanks for making such a hottie. | 感谢你生出如此尤物 |
| [06:43] | Who’s your daddy? | 谁是爹哋 |
| [06:44] | You are, ’cause of all the sex we have. | 你咯 因为我们嘿咻得那么爽 |
| [06:51] | I don’t want a girl. | 我不想要女儿 |
| [06:53] | I just want a little boy. | 我只想要个小子 |
| [06:54] | It’s not what it sounds like, folks. | 大伙别误会 我们是正常取向 |
| [07:03] | Hey, Mom. Hey, Dad. | 嗨 老妈 老爸 |
| [07:05] | Marshall? Is that you? | 马修 是你吗 |
| [07:07] | Oh, okay, um… | 呃 那个 |
| [07:09] | You guys, you’re a little too close to the camera. | 你们俩离摄像头太近了 |
| [07:10] | Can you back up a bit? | 能往后退退吗 |
| [07:14] | How’s this? | 这样行吗 |
| [07:16] | Every time. | 每回都这样 |
| [07:17] | Um, can you just sit in front of the computer | 你们能不能就坐在电脑前 |
| [07:20] | like normal human beings? | 像个正常人类 |
| [07:22] | Perfect! | 很好 |
| [07:23] | Perfect. | 很好 |
| [07:24] | What’s up, shooter? | 怎么啦 射手 |
| [07:26] | Um, to be honest, I’m getting a little freaked out | 老实说 我有点害怕 |
| [07:28] | about the idea of having a daughter. | 要是生个女儿怎么办 |
| [07:30] | I know you two probably aren’t the right people to talk to about this. | 我知道你们也没啥经验 |
| [07:33] | You had all boys. | 你们生了一窝小子 |
| [07:34] | Oh, well, that was just dumb luck. | 呃 那是走了狗屎运 |
| [07:36] | Hey, honey, would you get me a brewski from out of the shed? | 亲爱的 你能给我从小屋里拿瓶啤酒吗 |
| [07:39] | Sure. You want anything, Marshall? | 当然 你要什么吗 马修 |
| [07:41] | I’m in a computer, Mom. | 我在电脑这边 妈 |
| [07:44] | Yeah, all boys. | 是啊 都是儿子 |
| [07:46] | Total co-winky-dink. | 完全华丽丽的巧合 |
| [07:49] | It was no co-winky-dink. | 压根没巧合这回事 |
| [07:51] | Since the Viking age, | 自维京时代以来 |
| [07:53] | the Eriksen men have passed down ancient secrets | 埃里克森家族便世代相传着一个怀上男孩的 |
| [07:55] | for conceiving boys. | 古老秘方 |
| [07:57] | Number one, avoid lemons. | 第一 避开柠檬 |
| [07:59] | They’re baby girl fertilizer. | 那是女婴的肥料 |
| [08:02] | Okay… No offense, Dad, | 好吧 没别的意思 老爸 |
| [08:03] | but I doubt there’s any scientific data to support– | 但我强烈怀疑这没有科学依据 |
| [08:05] | “I doubt there’s any scientific data to support..” | “我强烈怀疑这没有科学依据” |
| [08:09] | I had all sons. | 我生的都是儿子 |
| [08:10] | Your grandfather had all sons. | 你爷爷生的都是儿子 |
| [08:12] | Your great-grandfather had all sons. | 你曾爷爷生的都是儿子 |
| [08:14] | Scoreboard! | 事实胜于雄辩 |
| [08:16] | Who you gonna listen to? | 你要听谁的 |
| [08:17] | Me? Or “Scientific data”? | 你爹我 还是”科学依据” |
| [08:23] | Members of the G-8 convened today in Vienna | 八国集团领导峰会 今日在维也纳召开 |
| [08:25] | to discuss plans to fight climate change by re- | 商讨关于应对气候变化的举措 |
| [08:28] | What? | 干嘛 |
| [08:30] | Ask me what I did yesterday. | 问问人家昨天干什么了 |
| [08:32] | Hey, Becky, Becky, this is our news segment, okay? | 贝基 这是我们新闻播报时段 明白吗 |
| [08:34] | Nobody cares what you did yesterday. | 没人关心你昨天干嘛了 |
| [08:35] | Lighten up, Robin. | 别生气嘛 罗宾 |
| [08:37] | What’d you do, sweetheart? | 小甜心 昨天你做什么啦 |
| [08:39] | Mike! | 麦克 |
| [08:40] | Well, I’m new in town and don’t know many people. | 人家刚来这里 人生地不熟 |
| [08:44] | But yesterday, I met the sweetest man, | 但昨天 我遇到了个无比贴心的男人 |
| [08:46] | who took me on a tour of the city. | 带我游览了整个城市哦 |
| [08:49] | Guys, New York is kind of cool. | 大伙 纽约真是帅呆了 |
| [08:52] | Okay, back to the G-8 conference. | 好了 回到八国集团领导峰会 |
| [08:54] | Hello? | 喂 |
| [08:56] | Mike, can I get in the shot? | 麦克 我能进镜头吗 |
| [08:58] | Fantastic. | 好极了 |
| [09:01] | Then this cutie patootie | 之后 这个帅哥 |
| [09:03] | took me to this bar called MacLaren’s, | 带我去了一个叫麦凯伦酒吧 |
| [09:05] | right underneath his apartment. | 就在他的公寓楼下哦 |
| [09:06] | Wait– did you go out with Ted Mosby? | 等下 你是跟泰德·莫斯比出去吗 |
| [09:09] | Yes! | 没错 |
| [09:10] | Guys, I went out with Robin’s roommate. | 大伙 我和罗宾的室友一起出去哦 |
| [09:13] | I saw her bedroom. | 我还看到她的卧室了哦 |
| [09:15] | She’s a messy Bessie. | 她可是个邋遢女王呢 |
| [09:18] | In other news, later today, | 另一则消息 今天的晚些时候 |
| [09:21] | a Manhattan architect gets punched in the throat. | 一位曼哈顿建筑师的喉咙 将遭受一拳重击 |
| [09:25] | Ted, of all the women in New York, | 泰德 纽约遍地都是妞儿 |
| [09:27] | You had to go out with an eight-year-old girl? | 你非得去泡一个八岁女孩吗 |
| [09:30] | Not what it sounds like, folks. | 大家别误会 我是正常取向 |
| [09:31] | Ted, you know that i hate her. | 泰德 你知道我讨厌她 |
| [09:34] | How could you go out on a date with this girl? | 你怎么可以跟她出去约会呢 |
| [09:36] | It wasn’t a date. | 我们没有约会 |
| [09:37] | She came over to the apartment looking for you. | 她来我们公寓找你 |
| [09:40] | I made Robin my famous chocolate chip cookies. | 我做了最拿手的巧克力碎片饼干给罗宾哦 |
| [09:43] | But instead of chocolate chips, I used gummie bears. | 但是我放的不是巧克力碎片 而是熊熊软糖 |
| [09:49] | A spider! | 有蜘蛛 |
| [09:52] | Let me guess, she acted like a helpless little girl, | 我来猜猜 她是不是装成一个无助的小女孩 |
| [09:55] | and you stepped in as the big, strong man. | 而你就成了那个救了她的英勇猛男 |
| [09:58] | I don’t know if that’s totally true. | 我不确定事发当时是不是那样 |
| [10:04] | It’s okay, little darlin’. | 没事的 小宝贝 |
| [10:06] | Poor spider. | 好可怜的小蜘蛛 |
| [10:11] | Spiders gotta die so trees can grow. | 只有蜘蛛消亡了 树木才能得以成长 |
| [10:17] | Then I held her tight and told her it was all gonna be okay. | 然后我紧紧抱住她 告诉她不会有事的 |
| [10:23] | By the way, I think I only wounded the spider. | 对了 我好像只是弄伤了那只蜘蛛 |
| [10:25] | It crawled off into my bedroom. | 它后来爬进了我卧室 |
| [10:27] | Wait. Is that why you slept on the couch last night? | 等等 你昨晚睡在沙发就是因为这事吗 |
| [10:29] | Yeah, I slept. | 是啊 我一宿不敢合眼 |
| [10:33] | I’m dying out here. | 快折腾死哥了 |
| [10:35] | Talking like a little boy is not working with the ladies. | 女人们根本不吃童言童语这一招 |
| [10:39] | Wow, lady. | 哇 小姐 |
| [10:41] | You got some tig ol’ bitties! | 你的奶奶好大哇 |
| [10:46] | Gosh! | 天啊 |
| [10:48] | Your body’s a perfect… | 你的身体有这 |
| [10:50] | this many. | 这么完美 |
| [10:53] | Hi. | 你好 |
| [10:55] | Do you want to wrestle with our special bathing suit places? | 咱们用游泳衣遮住的部分玩摔跤 怎么样 |
| [10:58] | Come on! | 给点力啊 |
| [11:01] | I just need two seconds, baby. | 给我两秒钟就好 宝贝 |
| [11:03] | I know you think that’s a compliment, | 我知道你可能会觉得 这是在夸奖你 |
| [11:05] | but I’d rather you took your time. | 但我还是希望你慢慢来 |
| [11:06] | No, um… I’ll be right back. | 不是的 我马上回来 |
| [11:17] | Ancient Norse wisdom tells us that, to sire a son, | 古代北欧的知识显示 想生儿子 |
| [11:21] | you must do three things right before you lay with your maiden. | 在你与夫人行房之前 必须先做三件事 |
| [11:25] | First, eat pickled herring. | 一 吃腌鲱鱼 |
| [11:29] | Eat it! | 吃下去 |
| [11:31] | This is ridiculous. | 这就是歪理谬论 |
| [11:36] | Gentlemen, gentlemen, on the main stage, | 先生们 先生们 在主舞台上 |
| [11:39] | throwing her life away, | 为爱放弃大好前程 |
| [11:40] | give it up for Marshall’s daughter! | 让我们一起为马修的乖女儿鼓掌 |
| [11:46] | Who’s your granddaddy? | 谁是你的爷爷 |
| [11:50] | That guy. | 那家伙 |
| [12:01] | Hey, want to have a three-way with me and my imaginary friend? | 你想要跟我 以及我幻想的朋友一起3P吗 |
| [12:05] | His name’s Otis. | 他的名字叫欧提斯 |
| [12:09] | Hey, hey, want to come to my house and play telephone? | 你想来我家一起玩传声筒电话吗 |
| [12:12] | I got the string; you got the cans. | 我有绳索 你有罐子 |
| [12:17] | I wet myself! | 我尿裤子了 |
| [12:19] | Will you change me? | 你愿意帮我换衣服吗 |
| [12:21] | Can’t blame her on that one. | 是我也会甩头走人 有点过了 |
| [12:25] | Guys… | 大伙们 |
| [12:27] | I have some terrible, terrible news. | 我有个很惨很惨的消息 |
| [12:29] | I, Barney Stinson, | 我 巴尼·斯丁森 |
| [12:32] | can’t pick up a girl whilst talking like a little boy. | 没办法用童言童语来泡到一个妞 |
| [12:36] | Challenge forfeited. | 挑战放弃 |
| [12:39] | – Yeah, we don’t care about this… – No one challenged you, | -没事 根本没人在乎 -没人向你挑战 |
| [12:42] | so it wasn’t really a challenge. | 所以那根本不算是个挑战 |
| [12:44] | I’m sorry. | 我对不起你们 |
| [12:46] | Hey, Gerard, what’s with that shirt? | 吉拉德 你那衣服是怎么回事 |
| [12:49] | Nobody could pick up a chick wearing that thing. | 穿着那衣服 鬼才会被你泡到 |
| [12:51] | Challenge accept… | 挑战接 |
| [12:57] | Wow, I’m glad that’s over. | 我很庆幸那终于结束了 |
| [12:58] | It was creepy watching Barney talk like a little kid. | 巴尼像个孩子般说话 真令人起鸡皮疙瘩 |
| [13:01] | Oh, but you find it irresistible when Becky does? | 但是贝基那样说话 你就无法抵抗吗 |
| [13:03] | I don’t get it. | 我真搞不懂 |
| [13:05] | The Ted that I went out with | 那位跟我交往过的泰德 |
| [13:06] | was attracted to the kind of woman | 居然会喜欢一个 在没人成人监管下 |
| [13:08] | who could use a steak knife without supervision. | 不能独自使用一把牛排刀的女人 |
| [13:10] | For your information, Becky doesn’t like steak, | 事实上 贝基不喜欢牛排 |
| [13:12] | she likes pasghetti. | 她喜欢大意利面 |
| [13:13] | Spaghetti. | 意大利面 |
| [13:14] | And more importantly, she makes me feel needed. | 更重要的是 她令我感觉被人需要 |
| [13:17] | Needed? | 被需要 |
| [13:18] | She makes training wheels feel needed. | 她让学步车感到被需要 |
| [13:20] | Hey, it’s nice to feel needed. And you know what? | 被人需要的感觉很好 而且你知道吗 |
| [13:23] | It’s not a feeling guys get when they’re with you. | 那是种跟你在一起的男人 无法得到的感觉 |
| [13:31] | Son… | 儿啊 |
| [13:33] | Viking lore tells us that to ensure the continuation | 维京人的学问告诉我们 想确保 |
| [13:36] | of your noble male lineage… | 你的高贵男性血脉得以延续 |
| [13:38] | Get a big old bowl of ice | 弄一大碗的冰块 |
| [13:41] | and dunk your man sack right in there! | 然后把你的蛋蛋狠狠地泡进去 |
| [13:45] | You two and your football. | 你俩在聊你们的大球球呢 |
| [13:52] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [14:04] | Now get in there, point Lily due north | 接下来上床准备行动 先把莉莉转向北方 |
| [14:07] | and make me a grandson! | 然后就给我搞个孙子出来 |
| [14:10] | Eriksen! | 埃里克森 勇往直前 |
| [14:12] | Eriksen! | 埃里克森 勇往直前 |
| [14:23] | When we were dating, I… I didn’t make you feel needed? | 当年我们在约会时 我没让你感觉被需要吗 |
| [14:26] | Come on! You always took charge of everything. | 拜托 你在任何事上都想要主控权 |
| [14:32] | I got this. | 交给我吧 |
| [14:34] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [14:36] | This okay? Am I hurting y… | 这样还行吗 我有没弄疼你 |
| [14:37] | I got this. | 交给我吧 |
| [14:41] | Someone’s trying to break in– call the cops. | 有人想闯进来 叫警察 |
| [14:45] | I got this. | 交给我吧 |
| [14:49] | Did that really bother you? | 那很困扰你吗 |
| [14:50] | Well, yeah. It’s nice to be needed. | 有一点吧 被人需要的感觉很好 |
| [14:53] | Look, I’m sorry. | 我很抱歉 |
| [14:55] | I didn’t mean to upset you. | 我不是故意要让你不开心的 |
| [14:58] | It’s Becky. | 是贝基 |
| [14:59] | Aw, she’s trapped in a revolving door. | 她被困在了一个旋转门里 |
| [15:03] | I got this. | 交给我吧 |
| [15:06] | Yeah. | 好 |
| [15:09] | Let’s make a baby! | 来搞个孩子吧 |
| [15:14] | Baby, you’re packing snowballs, | 宝贝 你那是雪球 |
| [15:16] | and your breath smells like a mermaid fart. | 而且你的口气闻起来像是一股屁味 |
| [15:19] | Loving the dirty talk. | 爱死了你的浪语 |
| [15:20] | But you know what’s even hotter? | 但你知道什么更让人情欲高涨吗 |
| [15:21] | If we face this a way. | 头冲这边更爽哦 |
| [15:23] | Ooh, we’re bad. | 我们好坏坏 |
| [15:25] | Wait… hey, baby, | 等等 宝贝 |
| [15:26] | why are you facing me north? | 为什么你要把我转向北方 |
| [15:29] | You’re trying to make us have a boy. | 你想让我生个儿子 |
| [15:32] | I… can ex… | 我 可以 解 |
| [15:35] | How do you know about the north thing? | 你怎么知道头冲北这件事 |
| [15:39] | And what are you doing with those lemons? | 还有那些柠檬是怎么回事 |
| [15:43] | Baby girl fertilizer! | 女孩受孕法 |
| [15:45] | You’re trying to make us have a girl! | 你想生个女儿 |
| [15:53] | You are tring to make us have a girl. | 你居然想生个女儿 |
| [15:56] | All my least favorite students have been boys. | 我最不喜欢的学生都是男孩子 |
| [15:58] | So I Googled “how to make a girl”– | 所以我在谷歌上搜索”女孩制造大法” |
| [16:01] | some really weird stuff came up | 一堆很黄很暴力的东西出现 |
| [16:04] | but finally, I found this conception web site | 不过最后我找到了一个 受孕的网站 |
| [16:07] | that said you should… | 它说你应该 |
| [16:08] | Point south at the moment of conception… | 在行房时 面向南方 |
| [16:11] | eat a lemon… | 吃个柠檬 |
| [16:16] | and heat up your lady parts to a balmy 105 degrees. | 把你的私密处 慢慢加热到40度左右 |
| [16:27] | Oh, that’s not bad. | 感觉还不赖 |
| [16:31] | Eriksen! | 埃里克森 勇往直前 |
| [16:35] | Lily, how could you do… | 莉莉 你怎么可以 |
| [16:37] | exactly the same thing I did? | 跟我做一模一样的事情呢 |
| [16:40] | You’re supposed to be the same one. | 你本应该支持我 跟我一样想要男孩 |
| [16:41] | See that? Another boy expecting a woman | 瞧 又是个期望女人 |
| [16:44] | to clean up his mistakes. | 来给自己过失善后的男孩 |
| [16:45] | That’s why girls are way better than boys. | 这就是女孩比男孩强的原因 |
| [16:47] | Oh, really. Well, then how come whenever there’s | 是吗 那为什么每部恐怖片里 |
| [16:49] | a creepy kid in a horror movie it’s always a little girl? | 演那种令人毛骨悚然的小孩 都是个小女孩呢 |
| [16:51] | Or twin girls, who speak… | 又或是一对女双胞胎 她们连说话都是 |
| [16:53] | in unison. | 异口同声 |
| [16:55] | Oh, well, what about Chucky? | 那恰奇呢[美国恐怖片《鬼娃孽种》里的主人公] |
| [16:57] | Okay, A) He was a doll; | 第一 他是个公仔 |
| [16:59] | B) He was possessed by an adult serial killer; | 第二 是在成人连环杀手指使他做事 |
| [17:02] | and C) How could you bring up Chucky right before bed? | 第三 你为什么要在睡前提起恰奇呢 |
| [17:12] | Um, when we were dating, | 呃 我们约会的时候 |
| [17:15] | did… did I make you feel needed? | 我 我有让你感觉被需要过吗 |
| [17:17] | No, I didn’t feel like you needed me at all. | 没 我一点儿也感觉不到你需要我 |
| [17:20] | That’s what I thought. | 果然不出所料 |
| [17:22] | – Uh, I’m sorry. – Wait, where are you… | -打扰了 -等等 你这是 |
| [17:25] | That’s a compliment. | 这是种赞美 |
| [17:27] | You are the least needy woman I’ve ever met | 你是我见过最独立的女人 |
| [17:29] | that’s awesome. | 这种女人最棒了 |
| [17:31] | I mean, no guy’s gonna say | 我是说 没有人敢问罗宾·施巴斯基 |
| [17:33] | “Who’s your daddy?” to Robin Scherbatsky. | “谁是你爹地” |
| [17:35] | You’re your own daddy. | 你就是自己的主人 |
| [17:36] | And mommy. | 不但身兼母职 |
| [17:38] | And weird survivalist uncle who lives in a cabin | 有时候还像个住在小木屋的奇怪幸存大叔 |
| [17:40] | with a shotgun blaming stuff on the government. | 边扛着猎枪 边抱怨着政府 |
| [17:45] | And that is what makes you the most amazing, strong… | 你是我上过最棒 最坚强 |
| [17:52] | independent woman I’ve ever banged. | 最独立的女人 |
| [17:55] | Thanks, Barney. | 谢谢 巴尼 |
| [17:57] | You know, um… | 呃 有个事 |
| [17:59] | there’s something that I wanted to ask you, | 我从刚才就一直想问你 |
| [18:01] | and I don’t really know how to say it so… here goes. | 但我不知道怎么开口 那我说啦 |
| [18:07] | Who’s the crazy chick in the apron? | 穿着围裙那个疯婆子是谁 |
| [18:10] | Someone naughty left his toys on the floor | 有个小淘气把他的公仔扔地上了 |
| [18:13] | and needs to be spanked on his tushy-tush. | 作为惩罚 我要打小屁屁咯 |
| [18:19] | Uh-oh, I’m in “twubble.” | 哇哦 我刚可是戴着套的哦 |
| [18:22] | You did it? How? | 你怎么做到的 |
| [18:24] | Last night, after admitting defeat, | 昨晚 在承认战败之后 |
| [18:26] | I just let myself go. | 我放纵自己 |
| [18:28] | Mmm, that looks so good. | 哇 看起来很好吃的样子 |
| [18:30] | Can I have some? | 可以分点给我吗 |
| [18:31] | No! | 不行 |
| [18:33] | It’s my ice cream; you can’t have any. | 这是我的冰淇淋 不给你吃 |
| [18:35] | Someone needs to teach you how to share. | 你应该学学如何分享 |
| [18:41] | Who’s your mommy? | 让妈咪来教教你吧 |
| [18:49] | Challenge completed! | 挑战完成 |
| [18:50] | Now, uh, can you get this freak out of here? | 现在 你能不能把这怪胎弄走 |
| [18:54] | I’m really scared. | 我好怕怕哦 |
| [18:55] | I got this. | 交给我吧 |
| [19:02] | Oh, so you finally agreed on a name? | 所以你们终于在名字上达成共识了 |
| [19:05] | Uh, well, | 那是因为 |
| [19:07] | the other night she ran a really high fever. | 有天晚上 她发高烧 |
| [19:10] | We rushed her to the emergency room at 3:00 in the morning, | 凌晨三点 我们抱着她冲到急诊室 |
| [19:13] | But they wouldn’t admit her without a name. | 但没有名字 医院不愿意接收她 |
| [19:18] | Right then and there, we realized how stupid we were being. | 就在那时 我们意识到我们的行为有多么愚蠢 |
| [19:23] | We looked at each other | 我们看着对方 |
| [19:24] | and, well, we just knew. | 名字就这么脱口而出 |
| [19:26] | Our baby’s name is… | 我们宝宝叫 |
| [19:28] | Esther. | 埃斯特 |
| [19:30] | Esther? | 埃斯特 |
| [19:32] | Esther! | 埃斯特 |
| [19:35] | That’s beautiful. | 真是个好名字 |
| [19:36] | Yeah. | 对啊 |
| [19:40] | We’re idiots. | 我们真愚蠢 |
| [19:41] | Baby, names and gender, it’s just, like.. | 宝贝 孩子的名字和性别 |
| [19:45] | it’s some way of giving ourselves the illusion | 在某种程度上 给我们一种错觉 |
| [19:48] | that we have any control whatsoever. | 以为我们能控制任何一切 |
| [19:50] | I-I just want a healthy, happy, 12-pound– | 我只想要一个健康快乐 重达将近11斤 |
| [19:53] | Whoa. | 哇哦 |
| [19:55] | Ten-pound? | 那9斤 |
| [19:57] | Eight-pound? | 7斤 |
| [19:58] | I guess, but, dude, | 我尽力吧 但是伙计 |
| [20:00] | you’re writing checks my vagina can’t cash. | 你一口气说了三个 我怕我的肚子不给力啊 |
| [20:04] | I love you. | 我爱你 |
| [20:05] | And I’m gonna love the crap out of whatever baby we have. | 无论生出来是男是女 我都会爱死我们的宝宝 |
| [20:09] | Me, too. | 我也是 |
| [20:15] | You know what? | 你知道吗 |
| [20:17] | We should just think of a name that’s good for either a girl or a boy. | 咱们应该先想一个男女通用的名字 |
| [20:21] | Like, um… | 比如 |
| [20:22] | Jamie. | 杰米 |
| [20:24] | Marshall… | 马修 |
| [20:26] | we just named our baby. | 咱们宝宝有名字了 |
| [20:29] | Jamie. | 杰米 |
| [20:34] | Not Jamie. | 杰米绝对不行 |
| [20:44] | Shoe’s untied. I got it. | 鞋带开了 我帮你系上 |
| [20:57] | Yeah, this is over. | 对 是该适可而止了 |