| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | Kids, when Lily and Marshall started trying to have a baby, | 孩子们 当莉莉和马修开始尝试要孩子的时候 |
| [00:04] | they went a little crazy. | 他们有点儿”操”之过急了 |
| [00:05] | We’ve been trying and trying, | 我们努力努力再努力 |
| [00:07] | and still nothing’s happened. | 但依旧没有动静 |
| [00:10] | I’m just worried we can’t have children. | 我开始担心我们俩是不是没能力 |
| [00:13] | And how long have you been trying? | 你们尝试了多久 |
| [00:14] | Six days. | 整整六天了 |
| [00:16] | Oy. | 晕死 |
| [00:18] | But then, months went by, and still nothing happened. | 但几个月过去了 还是没怀上 |
| [00:22] | Something must be wrong. | 肯定是哪儿不对头了 |
| [00:23] | W-We’re doing it a lot. | 我们天天做 大做特做 |
| [00:26] | And everywhere– | 无处不做 |
| [00:27] | the kitchen, the bathroom, the living room, | 厨房 浴室 起居室 |
| [00:30] | outside in your wait– the kitchen. | 你的候客–厨房啊 |
| [00:32] | Seriously, Doc, | 说真的 大夫 |
| [00:34] | why isn’t this happening? | 为什么我还怀不上 |
| [00:36] | Look, if you’re really worried, here is a number | 如果你真的担心不孕 我这有个 |
| [00:38] | for a reproductive endocrinologist– Dr. Stangel. | 生殖内分泌方面的专家的电话 斯坦格医生 |
| [00:41] | He’s the best in the city. | 他是全纽约最权威的专家 |
| [00:43] | Dr. John Stangel? | 约翰·斯坦格医生 |
| [00:44] | I don’t know, baby, do we really need a specialist? | 宝贝 咱们有到专家会诊的地步吗 |
| [00:47] | Well, what’s your plan, Marshall, | 那你有什么高招 马修 |
| [00:48] | just have unprotected sex day after day after day | 就光日复一日地不带套子做爱 |
| [00:51] | in every position imaginable | 试遍所有想得出来的体位 |
| [00:53] | until…? | 直到 |
| [00:54] | Wait, it sounded worse in my head. | 等下 怎么刚才的话听起来这么糟啊 |
| [00:57] | Guys, we’ve got a problem. | 同志们 有情况 |
| [00:59] | This is the application for | 这是波基普西地区 |
| [01:01] | the regional doubles laser tag tournament in Poughkeepsie. | 真人CS双人组邀请赛的申请表 |
| [01:05] | Problem is, only one of you can be my partner. | 问题是 你们中只有一个能跟我搭档 |
| [01:07] | So it looks like we’ve got a bake-off. | 所以 看来你们要生死角逐一番了 |
| [01:10] | You may now present your arguments. | 现在你们可以开始争取了 |
| [01:12] | – I’m not playing laser tag. – I’m absolutely not playing laser tag. | -我不玩真人CS -我绝对绝对不玩真人CS |
| [01:14] | – Damn it. – And Marshall’s the winner. | -我靠 -马修获胜 |
| [01:17] | Well, I’m gonna call Dr. Stangel. | 我要打给斯坦格医生 |
| [01:19] | It can’t hurt. | 反正也没差 |
| [01:20] | So Aunt Lily went to see Dr. John Stangel, the man | 所以莉莉阿姨去见了斯坦格医生 |
| [01:23] | who knew more about human reproduction than anyone in New York City. | 那个全纽约生殖方面的泰斗 |
| [01:27] | So I understand you want to get pregnant. | 我明白你迫切想要怀孕的心情 |
| [01:46] | Yeah, and it cuts in and out. | 对 就进进出出的 |
| [01:48] | How did you do it? | 你怎么能这样 |
| [01:50] | Oh, God, you found one of the cameras. | 天啊 你发现摄像头了 |
| [01:53] | I swear that’s the only one. | 我发誓就那一个 |
| [01:54] | Wait, which one did you find? | 等下 你发现的是哪个 |
| [01:56] | What are you talking about? | 你说什么呢 |
| [01:57] | What are you talking about? | 你说什么呢 |
| [01:58] | My visit to a certain Dr. Stangel. | 我去见了某个斯坦格医生 |
| [02:02] | We’ll look at all the factors that contribute to fertility: | 我们会仔细查看所有有助怀孕的因素 |
| [02:05] | dietary, environmental, genetic. | 饮食 环境 基因 |
| [02:07] | But first, Ms. Aldrin, | 不过首先 艾得仁夫人 |
| [02:09] | do you have any questions for me? | 你有对我有什么疑问吗 |
| [02:12] | Just one, “Dr. Stangel.” | 就一个 所谓的斯坦格医生 |
| [02:14] | Where’d you get the beard? | 你的胡子哪儿来的 |
| [02:16] | Well, m-my mother’s Armenian. | 这个 我母亲是亚美尼亚人 |
| [02:20] | Lily, I’ve been with Barney since 9:00 a.m. | 莉莉 巴尼从早上九点就和我在一起 |
| [02:24] | Between the sexual harassment seminar all morning | 从一上午的性骚扰座谈会 |
| [02:25] | and the secretary beauty pageant all afternoon, | 到下午的俏秘书大游行 |
| [02:28] | he hasn’t left my sight. | 他一直都在我的视线范围内 |
| [02:30] | Wait, so you weren’t wearing a fake beard | 等下 就是说你没贴着假胡子 |
| [02:32] | and examining girl parts all day? | 检查姑娘的私处咯 |
| [02:34] | Not today I wasn’t. | 今天我还真没有 |
| [02:36] | Wow, we finally found Barney’s doppelgnger. | 哇哦 我们终于找到巴尼的酷似者了 |
| [02:39] | I guess we can tell you now, Lily. | 我想我们现在可以告诉你了 莉莉 |
| [02:40] | That hot dog guy did not look like Barney. | 那个卖热狗的一点都不像巴尼 |
| [02:44] | Uh, Marshall? | 马修 |
| [02:45] | Yes, I know, we made our little deal with the universe, but… | 没错 我知道 咱是跟小宇宙有个小约定 |
| [02:48] | No, we’ve made a binding covenant with the universe. | 不 我们和小宇宙发过誓 |
| [02:50] | We said we weren’t going to try to have kids | 说好了不见到巴尼的酷似者 |
| [02:52] | until we saw Barney’s doppelgnger. | 就不要孩子 |
| [02:55] | Oh, this is bad news. | 这下可完了 |
| [02:56] | This is like a black cat walked through my uterus. | 全都报应到我的子宫上了 |
| [03:00] | Okay, that’s it. | 得 够了 |
| [03:01] | I am going back to Dr. Stangel | 我要回去找斯坦格医生 |
| [03:03] | and getting thoroughly checked out. | 让他给我做全面检查 |
| [03:05] | Or– | 或者 |
| [03:05] | or cost-saving alternative: | 或者有个省钱省力的办法 |
| [03:07] | you could get checked out by someone who looks just like him. | 你可以让他的翻版 来给你检查 |
| [03:10] | I’m gonna go scrub up; I’ll meet you in stall three. | 我洗干净手手 在三号台等你哦 |
| [03:14] | I still kind of think it’s Barney. | 我还是觉得那是巴尼 |
| [03:17] | There’s no way it’s Barney. | 那不可能是巴尼 |
| [03:19] | Hello, you must be Mr. Eriksen. | 好啊 您一定就是埃里克森先生了 |
| [03:21] | I am Dr. Stangel. | 我是斯坦格医生 |
| [03:22] | It’s Barney. | 这是巴尼 |
| [03:25] | Really, dude, bravo. | 真像 哥们儿 你真厉害 |
| [03:28] | You almost got a peek. | 你差点就能成功窥探她的私处 |
| [03:30] | But seriously, | 不过说真的 |
| [03:31] | what second-rate community theater did you get…? | 你从哪个不入流的剧院找来的这个… |
| [03:34] | – Would you…? – I… | -你能不能 -我 |
| [03:37] | So my wife and I are trying to get pregnant. | 那个 我们夫妻俩想要个孩子 |
| [03:42] | All right, Ms. Aldrin, please just put your feet up in the stirrups. | 好的 艾得仁夫人 请把双脚放在支架上 |
| [03:45] | We can begin. | 我们可以开始了 |
| [03:46] | – Uh-uh, no. Can’t do it. – No, but, baby, | -不不 做不到 -可是 宝贝 |
| [03:49] | I yanked on his beard. | 我揪过他的胡子了 |
| [03:50] | He checks out. | 他没问题 |
| [03:52] | – I really don’t have time for this. – No, Barney– | -我没时间跟你们闹 -别 巴尼 |
| [03:53] | Doctor, wait, please, it’s… | 医生 请等一下 |
| [03:55] | Can you just give us a couple minutes? | 您能给我们俩几分钟时间吗 |
| [03:57] | – I… – Lily, | -我…-莉莉 |
| [03:58] | how can I convince you that this is not Barney? | 你要怎样才相信这不是巴尼呢 |
| [04:03] | Wow, it is like looking into a poorly dressed mirror. | 哇哦 就像是照一面超没品位的镜子 |
| [04:14] | Okay, you have to go. | 好了 你出去 |
| [04:18] | Leave the model of the vagina. | 把阴道模型拿回来 |
| [04:22] | Okay. | 好了 |
| [04:24] | Convinced. | 我信了 |
| [04:25] | Great. All right, | 很好 好了 |
| [04:26] | you’re a little low on the table. Please scoot up. | 你位置有点低 麻烦往前一点[谐音:穿戴整齐] |
| [04:28] | “Suit up”– not convinced. | “穿戴整齐” 又不信了 |
| [04:30] | This whole thing stinks to high heaven. | 这件事简直太邪恶了 |
| [04:32] | Baby, you just saw Barney. | 宝贝 你刚看到巴尼了 |
| [04:34] | He could have pulled some crazy switch. | 他花样这么多 难保其中诈 |
| [04:37] | Remember when his Swedish cousin came to visit? | 记得他的瑞典堂兄来那次吗 |
| [04:40] | Oh, yeah– Bjorney. | 记得 巴尔尼 |
| [04:42] | Yeah, I’m sorry, but unless I see Barney at the same time, | 对 抱歉 不过除非我看到巴尼同时在这 |
| [04:46] | I-I’ll never be sure that Dr. Stangel isn’t him. | 否则我不可能确定斯坦格医生不是他 |
| [04:50] | How you doing, Lily?! | 你还好吗 莉莉 |
| [04:51] | Should I have a boner?! | 能给点儿福利不 |
| [04:54] | Okay, we’re all done. | 好了 都完成了 |
| [04:55] | I’ll call you in a few days with the results. | 过几天出了结果 我给你电话 |
| [04:57] | Thank you. | 谢谢你 |
| [04:58] | Hey, you don’t mind if I take pictures, do you?! | 你们不介意我拍张照吧 |
| [05:00] | Can we leave him in here for a while? | 我们可以把他在这儿关一会儿吗 |
| [05:03] | I’m done for the day. | 我今天要下班了 |
| [05:04] | You can leave him in here all night. | 留他整晚在这儿都行 |
| [05:06] | Aw, yeah. | 没错 |
| [05:10] | Smile for the birdie, Lil! | 笑一个 莉莉 |
| [05:13] | Gyno-mite! | 这个画面好色情啊 |
| [05:16] | Now, while all this was going on, | 就在这一切发生之时 |
| [05:18] | your Aunt Robin was starting | 你们的罗宾阿姨开始了 |
| [05:20] | her new job at World Wide News, | 她在《环球新闻》的新工作 |
| [05:21] | AKA the big leagues. | 亦称加入大组织 |
| [05:23] | She was excited. | 她很激动 |
| [05:24] | This job was a new start, | 这份工作是新的开始 |
| [05:25] | a clean slate. | 全新的篇章 |
| [05:27] | So, first day of work? | 第一天工作如何 |
| [05:32] | Everyone, say hello to your new research associate | 各位 认识一下新的研究助理 |
| [05:34] | Robin Scherbatsky. | 罗宾·施巴斯基 |
| [05:35] | – Hi, guys. – Welcome. | -嗨 大伙儿 -欢迎 |
| [05:37] | Oh, here comes our new Hardfire host. | 这位是新来的《烈焰》节目主持人 |
| [05:39] | Robin, this is Sandy Rivers. | 罗宾 这位是桑迪·里维斯 |
| [05:42] | Sandy Rivers?! | 桑迪·里维斯 |
| [05:44] | Sandy Rivers– | 桑迪·里维斯 |
| [05:45] | Robin’s old cohost | 是罗宾以前的搭档 |
| [05:46] | and my old nemesis. | 也是我曾经的仇人 |
| [05:47] | We should have sex. | 我们应该上次床 |
| [05:49] | Oh, I hate that guy. | 我恨那个家伙 |
| [05:51] | It gets worse. | 还不止这样 |
| [05:53] | Sandy, this is… | 桑迪 这位是… |
| [05:55] | Robin. | 罗宾 |
| [05:56] | – You two know each other? – Know each other? | -你们俩认识 -何止认识 |
| [05:59] | We’ve had sex. | 我们上过床 |
| [06:00] | You had sex with Sandy Rivers? | 你跟桑迪·里维斯上过床 |
| [06:02] | No! Ugh! | 没有 真恶心 |
| [06:04] | And I can’t believe it’s my first day, | 我真不敢相信 上班第一天 |
| [06:06] | and already I’m the girl who slept with the host of the show. | 我就已经是跟主持人上过床的女孩了 |
| [06:09] | Already? | 已经 |
| [06:10] | Were you planning on eventually sleeping with the host? | 你有计划最终要跟主持人上床吗 |
| [06:12] | Well, now that I know it’s Sandy, I’m not. | 既然主持人是桑迪 我没这想法了 |
| [06:18] | Hey, babe. | 嗨 宝贝 |
| [06:19] | Hi, honey. | 嗨 甜心 |
| [06:20] | There’s a couple messages on the machine. | 答录机有两条简讯 |
| [06:22] | Your dad called. | 你爸爸打来了 |
| [06:23] | He wants to know if you have any sixes. | 他想知道你有没有找到幸运六 |
| [06:25] | Yeah, uh, we got a game of “Go Fish” going on the phone. | 是的 我们在电话里玩捕鱼游戏 |
| [06:28] | P.S., Pops, go fish. | 老爸 我还在撒网呢 |
| [06:33] | Who’s the second message from? | 第二条简讯呢 |
| [06:35] | Dr. Stangel’s office. | 是斯坦格医生办公室打来的 |
| [06:37] | I’m extremely fertile. | 我完全可以生育 |
| [06:38] | You’re extremely fertile! | 你完全可以生育 |
| [06:40] | Oh, my God. | 我的天啊 |
| [06:41] | I told you there was nothing to worry about. | 我跟你说过没什么好担心的 |
| [06:43] | I got to call my dad and tell him the good news. | 我得打给我爸 告诉他这个好消息 |
| [06:46] | …puts the ball on the 44-yard-line. | 球来到44码线 |
| [06:54] | If you’re fertile, um, then that means I’m the problem. | 如果你能生育 那就是说是我有问题 |
| [07:03] | Okay, now you’re being ridiculous. | 你这么说太荒唐了 |
| [07:05] | An hour ago, you didn’t even think | 一小时前 你根本不认为 |
| [07:07] | there was a problem. | 存在这方面的问题 |
| [07:08] | Well, I was just putting on a brave face. | 当时我只是假装勇敢而已 |
| [07:09] | Okay, think about it: we’ve had unprotected sex | 仔细回想 在过去四个月里 |
| [07:12] | 203 times in the past four months. | 我们无防护措施做爱203次 |
| [07:15] | Obviously I’m the problem. | 显然是我有问题 |
| [07:18] | Problem?! | 问题 |
| [07:19] | You can’t get a girl pregnant. | 没能力让女人怀孕 |
| [07:20] | That’s the dream. | 这是我梦寐以求的事 |
| [07:21] | I’d give my firstborn | 我宁愿牺牲我的第一个孩子 |
| [07:22] | to not be able to have children. | 也不愿意拥有生育能力 |
| [07:27] | So, second day of work? | 第二天工作如何 |
| [07:31] | What’s wrong? | 又怎么了 |
| [07:32] | Oh, you didn’t hear? She’s the office slut. | 你没听说吗 她成了办公室里的荡妇了 |
| [07:34] | Already? | 已然是了吗 |
| [07:35] | Oh, honey. | 哦 宝贝 |
| [07:36] | I wish I was the office slut. | 我真希望我是 |
| [07:39] | And we can explore how those policy changes | 我们可以探究这个政策变化 |
| [07:41] | will affect Iraq. | 是如何影响伊拉克的 |
| [07:43] | Yes. | 没错 |
| [07:46] | We definitely had sex. | 我们一定上过床 |
| [07:48] | We did not have sex. | 我们没有 |
| [07:49] | Then why do I remember you? | 那我为何记得你 |
| [07:51] | I don’t know, maybe because I’m | 我不清楚 也许因为我是 |
| [07:53] | a smart, talented, professional. | 集美貌智慧于一身的专业人士 |
| [07:55] | No, none of those. | 不 不是这原因 |
| [07:57] | Oh, I remember. | 我想起来了 |
| [07:58] | We didn’t have sex. | 我们没上过床 |
| [08:00] | Thank you. | 多谢 |
| [08:01] | You’re the girl who did the report on the carriage driver | 你就是那个采访马车夫 |
| [08:04] | and slipped and fell in horse poop… | 却失足掉进了马粪里的女记者 |
| [08:07] | We did have sex. | 我们是上过床 |
| [08:08] | Oh, I-I remember now. | 我现在想起来了 |
| [08:10] | Gregory, | 格莱格里 |
| [08:11] | do me a favor. | 帮我个忙 |
| [08:13] | But this reporter takes pride in… | 但记者十分自豪地… |
| [08:19] | And now everyone calls me Scherpoopie. | 现在大家都叫我屎粑粑 |
| [08:22] | It’s not funny. | 一点都不好笑 |
| [08:23] | Robin, a word of advice: play along. | 罗宾 送你句忠告 走自己的路 |
| [08:25] | Okay, the more you fight it, the worse it’s going to get. | 你越是否认越是抗拒 结果就越糟 |
| [08:28] | It’s like when your car slides on ice, | 就像你在冰上刹车 |
| [08:29] | you steer into the skid. | 反而会打滑 |
| [08:31] | Exactly! | 完全正确 |
| [08:32] | Or when your– I don’t know– | 或者是当 我也说不清 |
| [08:34] | friend invites you to a laser tag tournament, | 当你朋友邀请你去参加真人CS赛的时候 |
| [08:35] | you don’t fight it. | 你不用真去打仗 |
| [08:36] | You just strap on the vinyl holster | 你只需带上塑料手套 |
| [08:38] | and race into that abandoned JCPenney guns a-blazin’. | 找件不穿的杰西潘尼的无袖衫 走个过场 |
| [08:42] | I’m just agreeing with Ted. | 我只是同意泰德的说法 |
| [08:45] | Oh, it’s my dad. | 是我爸打来的 |
| [08:51] | Aren’t you going to get it? | 你不打算接吗 |
| [08:52] | No, no, you know what? | 不不 这样吧 |
| [08:54] | Um, I’m gonna get my stuff checked out first. | 我先去检查一下我的精子活力 |
| [08:57] | I’ll call my dad after Dr. Stangel | 等斯坦格医生肯定我的能力时 |
| [08:59] | gives me the thumbs up. | 我再打给我爸 |
| [09:00] | Ew! He has to do that? | 恶心 他必须得亲自上手吗 |
| [09:02] | But I thought you talk to your dad about everything. | 但我还以为你跟你爸无话不谈呢 |
| [09:05] | I only like to call my dad with good news. | 我对我爸是报喜不报忧 |
| [09:07] | I mean, telling him good news | 我是说 向他报告好消息 |
| [09:08] | is what makes it feel real to me. | 能让我确信这事是真的 |
| [09:10] | I’m getting married! | 我要结婚了 |
| [09:12] | Yeah…! | 太好了 |
| [09:14] | I passed the bar! | 我拿到了律师资格证 |
| [09:15] | All right! | 太棒了 |
| [09:17] | I found an amazing Viking lamp | 我找到一座北欧海盗灯 |
| [09:18] | that fits right on the coffee table, | 恰好能放在咖啡桌上 |
| [09:20] | as long as we don’t mind stepping over the cord. | 只要我们小心脚下的电线 |
| [09:22] | – That’s what I’m talking about! – Right?! | -我就是这个意思 -对吧 |
| [09:24] | I found someone who can fix the Viking lamp! | 我找到人会修海盗灯啦 |
| [09:30] | But the news that I might not be able | 但我可能让他抱不上孙子 |
| [09:32] | to give him a grandchild? | 这种消息 |
| [09:33] | You know, like, I don’t even know | 我都不知道该怎么 |
| [09:35] | how to have that conversation. | 开始这种谈话 |
| [09:37] | I’ll show you. | 我来教你 |
| [09:40] | “Dad, there’s, uh, there’s something I need to tell you, | 老爸 我有点儿事得跟你说 |
| [09:43] | “and it’s going to come as a bit of a shock to you, | 而且你可能需要做好心理准备 |
| [09:46] | “but here goes. | 那我说了 |
| [09:48] | “You are speaking | 你现在正在跟 |
| [09:50] | to the 2011 Tri-County Laser Tag Co-Champion.” | 2011年度三镇联合真人CS大赛冠军讲话 |
| [09:53] | -Barney, I’ve already told… -“Oh, and my sperm don’t work. | -巴尼 我跟你说了… -对了 我的精子有问题 |
| [09:56] | “Yeah, yeah, | 没错 |
| [09:57] | the laser tag thing is awesome.” | 镭射枪的事特别棒吧 |
| [10:02] | So, third day of work? | 第三天的工作如何啊 |
| [10:07] | And the fertilizer is seeping | 肥料开始向 |
| [10:09] | into the ground water, causing… | 地下水中渗入 导致了 |
| [10:11] | Is Scherpoopie pitching a story about manure? | 屎粑粑是在讲述自己的故事吗 |
| [10:16] | Genius. | 人才啊 |
| [10:17] | Okay, yes, I, uh, I fell into some manure. | 没错 我是摔倒在马粪里了 |
| [10:21] | It’s hilarious, fine. | 没错 是很滑稽 |
| [10:22] | In a five-year career of on-air reports, | 在五年的新闻直播生涯之中 |
| [10:24] | there are bound to be a few embarrassing moments. | 有那么几次尴尬的时刻也很正常 |
| [10:27] | A few? | 那么几次 |
| [10:29] | Uh, but in my case, it was just the one, | 呃 对我来说呢 也就这一次 |
| [10:33] | and you found it, so, uh… | 而且你们找到了 所以呢 |
| [10:35] | Just the one. | 就这一次而已 |
| [10:38] | Gregory. | 格莱格里 |
| [10:41] | Oh, God. | 神啊 |
| [10:42] | What did they find? | 他们找到了什么 |
| [10:48] | Everything. | 找到了一切 |
| [10:51] | * Everybody, come and play * | * 大家一起来逛吧 * |
| [10:55] | I’m a dirty, dirty girl. | 我是个浪荡妹 |
| [10:55] | * Throw every last care away * | *抛开所有的顾虑吧 * |
| [10:59] | * Let’s go to the mall today * | *让我们今天一起逛商场吧* |
| [11:03] | * Today, today * | * 今天 就是今天吧* |
| [11:05] | The Federal Reserve Board voted to leave interest… | 联邦储备局做了关于调整利率的投票 |
| [11:07] | * Let’s go to the mall * | *让我们一起逛商场吧* |
| [11:09] | * Today ? ?Let’s go to the ma-a-all * | *今天 让我们一起逛商场吧* |
| [11:11] | Aah. * Let’s got to the mall today * | *让我们今天一起逛商场吧* |
| [11:13] | * Let’s go to the ma-a-all ?Today * | *让我们今天一起逛商场吧* |
| [11:15] | * Let’s go to the mall * | *让我们一起逛商场吧* |
| [11:16] | * Today * * Let’s go to the ma-a-all * | *今天 让我们一起逛商场吧* |
| [11:18] | * Today… * *Let’s go to the mall… * | *今天 让我们一起逛商场吧* |
| [11:20] | They even found the video of me getting attacked by an owl. | 他们甚至找到我被猫头鹰攻击的视频 |
| [11:23] | You got attacked by an owl? | 你被猫头鹰攻击过? |
| [11:25] | I did not get attacked by an owl. | 没 我没被猫头鹰攻击过 |
| [11:27] | Robin, listen, here’s what you need to do– | 罗宾 听着 你应该这么做 |
| [11:29] | Okay, don’t you dare tell me to steer into the skid, okay? | 你千万别说让我享受着冰上打滑的瞬间 |
| [11:32] | It’s too late. I’m already wrapped around a hydro pole. | 太迟了 我已经被氢气杆给绕上了 |
| [11:36] | It’s a Canadian telephone pole. | 那是个加拿大的电线杆 |
| [11:38] | I never should have taken this job. | 我就不应该接这个工作 |
| [11:40] | Kids, at that moment, I knew what I had to do | 孩子们 在那一刻 为了我的朋友罗宾 |
| [11:43] | for my friend Robin. | 我知道我该做些什么 |
| [11:44] | But first I had to do something for me. | 但首先我得为自己做点事 |
| [11:46] | Show me “owl attack.” | 给我搜”猫头鹰袭人事件” |
| [11:51] | I am freaking out. | 我要抓狂了 |
| [11:53] | Is there a chance that I can’t have kids? | 我会不会有要不了孩子的可能 |
| [11:55] | I’ve been hit in the nuts a lot. | 我以前老是被”猴子偷桃“ |
| [11:57] | Well, we won’t know anything until we run some tests. | 在检查之前我们无法妄下结论 |
| [11:59] | We’ll need a sample of your sperm. | 我们需要你的精子样本 |
| [12:01] | No, no, no. | 你别急啊 |
| [12:02] | There’s a room at the end of the hall. | 你去走廊的最后一间 |
| [12:04] | If you find yourself inside the elevator, | 如果你走到电梯里了 |
| [12:06] | you’ve gone too far. | 说明你走过了 |
| [12:07] | You’d think I wouldn’t have to say that, | 你可能觉得我没必要说这些话 |
| [12:08] | but you’d be surprised. | 但到那你就知道了 |
| [12:15] | All yours, buddy. | 归你了 兄弟 |
| [12:26] | The thing you’re about to do in here– | 你接下来要做的事情呢 |
| [12:30] | I did that in here, too. | 我也在这做过了哦 |
| [12:32] | Three minutes ago. | 就在3分钟之前哦 |
| [12:35] | I was here eight minutes ago. | 我8分钟之前做过了哦 |
| [12:38] | 14 minutes ago. | 我14分钟之前做过 |
| [12:41] | I’m here every Thursday. | 我每周四都会来这里 |
| [12:45] | I can’t do it, Doc. | 我下不了手 医生 |
| [12:48] | Is there, like, another option? | 有没有 其他的选择啊 |
| [12:50] | Could I… Could I take this home? | 我 我可不可以回家做 |
| [12:52] | Sure, you could, but, uh… | 当然可以 可是 |
| [12:53] | we close in an hour and I’m not back till Tuesday. | 我们一个小时之内就下班了 我周二才上班 |
| [12:55] | So, clock is ticking. Make it fast. | 时间不多了 你快去快回 |
| [12:58] | Only way I know how, Doc. | 山人自有妙计 医生 |
| [13:02] | Only way I know how. | 山人自有妙计 |
| [13:09] | Surprise! Surprise! | 惊不惊喜 意不意外 开不开心 |
| [13:15] | Mom. Dad. Uh… | 老妈 老爸 |
| [13:17] | What are you doing here? | 你们怎么在这儿 |
| [13:18] | We hadn’t heard from you in a couple days. | 我们有好些天没听到你的消息了 |
| [13:19] | We were worried about you. | 我们很担心你 |
| [13:21] | For God’s sake, son. | 拜托 儿子 |
| [13:22] | – Do you have any sixes? – Go fish. | -你有没有成功中奖啊 -还在撒网中 |
| [13:25] | Excuse me. Hey, Lily, | 失陪一下 莉莉 |
| [13:27] | -can I just talk to you in here for a minute? -Oh, yeah. | -我能跟你说几句话吗 -当然 |
| [13:29] | Isn’t it great? They just showed up. | 是不是很神奇 他们才刚刚来 |
| [13:32] | Your mom’s already rearranged my kitchen, | 你妈就已经重新摆弄了我的厨房 |
| [13:34] | organized my closet… | 收拾了我的橱柜 |
| [13:36] | and she asked me if I lost height. | 而且她问我是不是变矮了 |
| [13:38] | Not weight. Height. | 不是重量 是高度哦 |
| [13:40] | Yeah, I’m very excited that they’re here, too. | 他们来我也很兴奋 |
| [13:42] | But right now, I have to get excited about something else. | 但现在我得要先为其他事情性奋 |
| [13:45] | Oh, okay. Well, I’ll go handle your parents. | 好 没问题 我去应付你爸妈 |
| [13:48] | And you handle your, well… | 那你应付你自己的… |
| [13:51] | Wait, wait, wait. Marshall. | 等等 马修 |
| [13:55] | Thank you, baby. You’re the best. | 谢谢 亲爱的 你真善解人意 |
| [14:00] | Marshall. Marshall. | 马修 马修 |
| [14:02] | I just got my new bathing suit for the beach this summer. | 我刚为这个暑假的海滩活动买了游泳衣 |
| [14:06] | It’s a two-piece. I mean, can you imagine? | 是两件式的哦 你能想象吗 |
| [14:08] | Me in a two-piece | 我这样的年纪 |
| [14:10] | bathing suit at my age? | 穿上下两件 中间露空的游泳衣 |
| [14:11] | Just picture it! | 你想象一下 |
| [14:12] | Picture it! | 想象一下嘛 |
| [14:14] | That’s why Fred Cox | 这就是为什么弗拉德·考克斯 |
| [14:16] | is the greatest kicker the Vikings ever had. | 是维京队有史以来最棒的球员 |
| [14:18] | Seriously, Marshall, picture it. | 说真的 马修 想象一下吧 |
| [14:21] | Just picture it. | 想象一下啊 |
| [14:23] | Give me a “C.” Give me an “O.” | 给我个”考” 给我个”克” |
| [14:24] | Give me an “X.” | 给我个”斯” |
| [14:26] | What’s that spell? Cox! Cox! | 是什么字 没错! 就是”考克斯” |
| [14:28] | Cox! Cox! Cox! Cox! | 考克斯 考克斯 考克斯 |
| [14:34] | Okay, I did a bad thing last night. | 听着 我昨晚做了点坏事 |
| [14:37] | I looked up his address. | 我看了他的地址 |
| [14:38] | Who? | 谁 |
| [14:41] | Sorry. You said “who.” | 抱歉 你说了”谁”[who与hoo同音] |
| [14:43] | It reminded me of the owl footage. | 让我想起了猫头鹰那个场景 |
| [14:44] | Genius. | 人才啊 |
| [14:46] | No. | 不 |
| [14:47] | Sandy. How dare he laugh at you. | 桑迪 他怎么敢笑你 |
| [14:49] | Who does he think… | 他以为他是谁 |
| [14:50] | Sorry. “Who.” | 抱歉 我是说”谁” |
| [14:53] | Anyway. | 总之呢 |
| [14:54] | I looked up his address in your contact list. | 我在你的通讯录里查到了他的住址 |
| [14:56] | Oh, God. Tell me you didn’t go over there. | 天啊 你不是真去了吧 |
| [14:58] | I just thought he needed to listen to common sense | 我严重认为他亟需些”动之以情” |
| [15:01] | and reasonable discourse. | 和”晓之以理” |
| [15:02] | Oh, God. Tell me those aren’t the names of your fists. | 天啊 别说这是给你拳头取的名字吧 |
| [15:05] | They’re my feet. | 是哥腿儿的名字 |
| [15:06] | I’m actually more of a kicker. | 哥更擅长踢腿踹人 |
| [15:08] | So I went to his apartment. | 于是乎 我去了他家 |
| [15:23] | You’re not the pizza guy. | 你不是送披萨的小子 |
| [15:29] | Oh, my God. This is… | 上帝啊 这就是… |
| [15:31] | This is how you make sure Sandy never makes fun of you again. | 这就是让桑迪再也不敢嘲弄你的杀手锏 |
| [15:34] | I told you to steer into the skid. That was bad advice. | 我教过你要顺势而为 那条建议太糟糕 |
| [15:36] | So new advice. | 所以新的来了 |
| [15:38] | Steer into Sandy, and run him down. | 顺势推桑迪 彻底搞垮他 |
| [15:40] | If people found out Sandy wears a toupee… | 要是大家发现桑迪靠假发遮丑… |
| [15:43] | Really? That’s your take-away? | 真的吗 你就关注这个吗 |
| [15:45] | Nothing on the bear in the bra? | 对那只戴胸罩的大熊视而不见吗 |
| [15:47] | Oh, no. He’s very open about that. | 不用 他对这些毫不避讳呢 |
| [15:49] | That’s Gregory. | 那是格莱格里扮的 |
| [15:50] | Nice guy. | 大好人一枚 |
| [15:52] | And the top is so low-cut. | 而且上半截超低胸 |
| [15:54] | Your father says he has | 你爸说他像在前排 |
| [15:56] | front-row seats to the Minnesota Twins. | 看明尼苏达双子队的表演呢 |
| [16:00] | By the way, Marshall, | 顺便问一句 马修 |
| [16:02] | we do need to know if you’re coming to Florida this summer. | 我们得知道你夏天会来弗罗里达吗 |
| [16:05] | Are you coming? | 你会来吗[双关语:你高潮了吗] |
| [16:06] | Marshall? | 马修 |
| [16:08] | Marshall, are you coming? | 马修 你到底来不来呀 |
| [16:12] | This isn’t working. | 一点用都没有 |
| [16:14] | Where you going, son? | 去哪儿 儿子 |
| [16:16] | I’m…I’m going to… | 我 我准备去 |
| [16:17] | I’m…I’m going to… | 我 我要去 |
| [16:20] | Kids, to this day, your uncle Marshall is thankful | 孩子们 时至今日 你们的马修叔叔依旧 |
| [16:23] | for what Lily said next. | 对莉莉当时的接话 心存感激 |
| [16:25] | He’s going to masturbate. | 他要去打飞机 |
| [16:26] | Lily! | 莉莉 |
| [16:27] | Marshall, just tell them what’s going on. | 马修 你就对他们实话实说吧 |
| [16:29] | And so Marshall told his parents everything. | 于是马修对他的爸妈一五一十地坦白 |
| [16:33] | And so, now, I’m just scared | 现在 我很担心 |
| [16:35] | that we won’t be able to give you a grandchild. | 生怕你们会抱不上孙子 |
| [16:37] | Aw, Marshall. | 马修 |
| [16:39] | Hey, we don’t care about that one bit. | 我们一点儿都不介意 |
| [16:42] | And if you guys want kids, | 而且如果你们俩想要孩子 |
| [16:44] | there are other ways. | 法子多着呢 |
| [16:46] | Adoption. | 领养 |
| [16:47] | Maybe you have a good friend who could loan you some sperm? | 又或是哪个好朋友能借点精子给你们 |
| [16:56] | Maybe adoption. | 还是领养吧 |
| [16:59] | What I’m saying is, | 我的重点是 |
| [17:01] | we love you no matter what. | 无论发生什么 我们都爱你 |
| [17:06] | Now, why don’t you pretend you’re in high school, | 好了 何不就假装你还是高中生 |
| [17:08] | get back in that bathroom, | 重新上阵 回浴室去 |
| [17:10] | and “Blow dry your hair.” | 上演”把头发吹干”的把戏呢 |
| [17:14] | Wait, you knew? | 慢着 你们都知道 |
| [17:15] | We didn’t have a hair dryer, dear. | 因为咱们家压根就没电吹风 宝贝儿 |
| [17:17] | So? | 进展如何 |
| [17:20] | Possibly last day of work? | 会是上班的最后一天吗 |
| [17:23] | Actually, it was a good day. | 实际上 今天过得不错 |
| [17:26] | And I need more numbers | 另外我需要更多 |
| [17:27] | on how the holiday season impacted the economy. | 有关节假日对经济的影响的数据 |
| [17:30] | Sparkles, got anything on malls? | 亮晶晶 商场那块的数据有吗 |
| [17:36] | Actually, Sandy, | 其实吧 桑迪 |
| [17:38] | I have something I think you’re all gonna want to see. | 我有样你们都想一睹为快的好东西 |
| [17:42] | Yes! Put him in a body bag! | 这就对了 置之死地永不翻身 |
| [17:46] | – Okay, I didn’t do it. – What? | -行了 我没这么干 -什么 |
| [17:48] | I didn’t want to just viciously attack someone | 我才不想恶毒地攻击别人 |
| [17:50] | out of the blue like some kind of… | 这样突如其来 像那种… |
| [17:52] | – Owl? – Exactly. | -猫头鹰吗 -正是 |
| [17:54] | So, instead of taking your advice, | 所以 恕不采纳您的建议 |
| [17:56] | I took your advice. | 我听从了你的忠告 |
| [18:01] | That day, Robin decided to steer into the skid. | 那天 罗宾决定顺势以博众人一笑 |
| [18:06] | And though she never quite shook the nickname, | 虽然她的绰号就此确立 且岿然不动 |
| [18:08] | Sparkles went on to do very well at World Wide News. | 但亮晶晶在《环球新闻》的工作却非常顺利 |
| [18:11] | Especially after this happened. | 尤其是在这一事件发生后 |
| [18:18] | After his parents had gone back to Minnesota, | 马修的父母回明尼苏达后 |
| [18:21] | Marshall got the results of his test. | 他的检查结果出来了 |
| [18:22] | I’m afraid I have some very bad news, Marshall. | 我恐怕有些坏消息 马修 |
| [18:27] | Judging from the results of your test, it is… | 从检查结果来看 |
| [18:30] | It is very unlikely that you’ll be able to father a child. | 你很可能无法为人父了 |
| [18:33] | Oh, God. | 上帝啊 |
| [18:35] | I know, I know. | 我懂 我懂 |
| [18:37] | It’s just… | 只是… |
| [18:38] | Now | 现在 |
| [18:40] | In some rare cases, a regimen change | 极少例子证明 改变养生锻炼 |
| [18:43] | can fix the problem, | 颇能见效 |
| [18:44] | So I’m recommending a spirited cardio routine. | 所以个人推荐一份英勇无畏的有氧体锻表 |
| [18:47] | Preferably with a partner. | 有伴甚佳 |
| [18:50] | Involving any light-based firearm activity | 包括在三镇地区里 |
| [18:52] | in the Tri-State area. | 各种激光射击活动 |
| [18:55] | Poughkeepsie, for example. | 举个例子 比如波基普西地区 |
| [18:57] | Have you heard of the gentlemen’s sport | 你有没有听说过一项绅士运动 |
| [18:59] | known as laser tag? | 被称之为真人CS呢 |
| [19:02] | Surprise! | 惊喜喔 |
| [19:04] | Damn it, Barney! | 该死 巴尼 |
| [19:05] | What are you doing in here? | 你在这里干什么 |
| [19:07] | Think about it, Marshall. | 考虑一下吧 马修 |
| [19:08] | All entrants get 20% off at the snack bar! | 所有参赛者在快餐部可享受八折优惠哦 |
| [19:11] | Oh, BTW， | 顺便问一声 |
| [19:13] | the receptionist. What’s her situation? | 那个接待小姐 她能生育不 |
| [19:14] | Go! | 走开 |
| [19:18] | Well, Marshall. | 那么 马修 |
| [19:20] | I’ve got your results. | 结果出来了 |
| [19:21] | And? | 然后呢 |
| [19:23] | Your sperm is fine. | 你的精子没问题 |
| [19:26] | My sperm is fine! | 哥的精子没问题 |
| [19:30] | Count, motility… | 数量 游动性 |
| [19:32] | everything’s off the charts. | 所有都好的不得了 |
| [19:35] | You, sir, have got some strong swimmers. | 阁下”精”力旺盛着呢 |
| [19:39] | Bro, that is awesome. | 兄弟 这可是大好事儿 |
| [19:40] | Motility five! | 游动击掌 |
| [19:45] | Hey, can I borrow your phone? | 手机借我一下 行不 |
| [19:46] | – I want to call my dad. – Yeah, go ahead. | -我想给我爸打个电话 -当然 去吧 |
| [19:50] | Man, this is great. | 天 这太棒了 |
| [19:52] | I was expecting bad news. | 我还以为会是个坏消息 |
| [19:54] | I really was. | 我真的曾这么以为 |
| [20:11] | You’re here! Oh, my God! | 你来了 天啊 |
| [20:13] | I love you so much! Can you believe it? | 我爱死你了 我简直不敢相信 |
| [20:15] | Marshall | 马修 |
| [20:18] | Something’s happened. | 家里出了点事儿 |
| [20:21] | Your father | 你爸爸 |
| [20:23] | He had a heart attack. | 他心脏病突发 |
| [20:24] | He… He didn’t make it. | 他 他没能挺过去 |
| [20:34] | My dad’s dead? | 我爸死了 |
| [20:55] | I’m not ready for this. | 我没想到 最终的坏消息会是这样 |