| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:14] | Kids, when your best friend loses someone… | 孩子们 当你最好的朋友失去了至亲 |
| [00:16] | My dad’s dead? | 我爸死了 |
| [00:18] | …you drop everything and rush to his side. | 你会放下手边的一切去陪着他 |
| [00:21] | only to find yourself standing there | 结果却发现 一旦你真站在那 |
| [00:23] | with no idea what to do or say. | 却不知道该做些什么 或是说些什么 |
| [00:25] | This is the toughest time in Marshall’s life | 这是马修生命中最艰难的时刻 |
| [00:27] | and I feel absolutely useless. | 可是我却什么也做不了 |
| [00:29] | What can we do to help? | 我们能做些什么呢 |
| [00:31] | Don’t look at me. | 别看我 |
| [00:32] | This morning Marshall said, “I have to pee.” | 今天早上马修说 我得去上厕所 |
| [00:34] | And I, “Don’t worry, baby, I’ll do it for you.” | 然后我说 别担心 宝贝 我帮你去吧 |
| [00:36] | Halfway through the pee, | 走到一半的时候 |
| [00:37] | I’m, like, “This doesn’t even make sense!” | 我突然觉得 这也太扯了吧 |
| [00:38] | Well, uh, I’ve been to a couple funerals, | 我参加过不少葬礼 |
| [00:40] | so I know my role: I’m Vice Girl. | 所以我深知自己的角色 我是”资源部长” |
| [00:43] | Whatever Marshall needs to get through this day, | 马修今天需要的一切 |
| [00:45] | I got it right here. | 我都准备了 |
| [00:50] | Cigarettes, alcohol… | 香烟 酒 |
| [00:52] | Are these firecrackers? | 这些是鞭炮吗 |
| [00:53] | My God, Robin, you somehow crammed | 天啊 罗宾 你简直是把 |
| [00:55] | Tijuana into a purse. | 蒂华纳在包里了[墨西哥城市] |
| [00:58] | Be cool, nerds! | 别大惊小怪了 傻冒 |
| [01:02] | Marshall’s mom hasn’t eaten, | 自从我们来了之后 马修的妈妈 |
| [01:04] | slept or sat down since we got here. | 一直不吃不喝 不眠不休 |
| [01:07] | Wait! That can be my role! | 等等 我找到我的角色了 |
| [01:09] | I’ll take care of Judy! | 我来负责照顾朱迪 |
| [01:11] | Yeah, but doesn’t Marshall’s mom hate you– | 可以啊 但马修的妈妈不是一直不喜欢 你 |
| [01:13] | the fact that you two aren’t very close? | 们 不够亲近这件事吗 |
| [01:15] | Sweet save. | 你反应真快 |
| [01:16] | Okay, yes, Judy and I aren’t besties, | 好吧 就算我俩没有那么亲近 |
| [01:19] | but today, whatever she needs, I’m there. | 可是今天 只要她需要 我都会陪在左右 |
| [01:21] | I’m on Judy duty. | 我今天为朱迪值日 |
| [01:23] | “Judy duty.” | “为朱迪值日” |
| [01:24] | She said “doody.” | 我以为她说的是”为朱迪擦屎” |
| [01:25] | Really, guys? At a funeral? | 至于吗 伙计们 咱可是来参加葬礼的 |
| [01:27] | Uh, okay, while not all of us possess | 好吧 不是每个人都像你 |
| [01:30] | your lofty sense of decorum, | 这个”80年代放学后特需品供应”的毒贩 |
| [01:32] | Drug-Dealer From-An-’80s- After-School-Special, | 那么大方得体 |
| [01:34] | we have to laugh today. | 今天我们一定要笑 |
| [01:35] | -It’s healthy. -Wait a minute! | -笑笑有益健康 -等等 |
| [01:37] | Today, we are gonna make Marshall laugh. | 我们今天一定要让马修 开怀一笑 |
| [01:40] | How? | 怎么做 |
| [01:41] | Ted, what’s the one thing that | 泰德 什么事情总能让 |
| [01:43] | always cracks him up? | 马修开怀一笑呢 |
| [01:44] | Internet footage of a guy getting hit in the nuts. | 男人被各种袭蛋的网络视频 |
| [01:45] | Internet footage of a guy | 没错 就是男人 |
| [01:46] | getting hit in the nuts, exactly! | 被各种袭蛋的网络视频 |
| [01:48] | So we are gonna get our bro a four-star nad rattler. | 所以我们要为兄弟 找个四星级的狠命一击 |
| [01:51] | You search knees, feet, banisters, | 你来搜索膝盖 脚 栏杆 |
| [01:53] | fire hydrants and diving boards, | 消防栓 冲浪板 |
| [01:55] | and I’ll cover bats, rackets, hockey sticks, | 我来搜索球棒 球拍 曲棍球棒 |
| [01:57] | golf clubs and riding crops. | 高尔夫球俱乐部和短马鞭 |
| [01:58] | What about animals? | 那动物的关键词是什么 |
| [01:59] | Uh… Claws, paws, talons, | 爪子 脚爪 魔爪 |
| [02:02] | hooves, beaks and clenched monkey fists. | 蹄子 鸟嘴 握紧的猴子拳头 |
| [02:04] | We can do this! | 我们一定做到 |
| [02:05] | Hey, guys, sorry, | 朋友们 抱歉 |
| [02:06] | uh… I left my charger back in New York, | 我把我的充电器忘在纽约了 |
| [02:08] | so my phone’s out of juice. Does anyone have…? | 我的电话没电了 你们有没有人带… |
| [02:10] | Outlet or USB? | 插线的 还是USB的 |
| [02:11] | Uh, outlet. | 插线的 |
| [02:13] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [02:16] | Wow, you really do have everything in there, don’t you? | 你那个手袋就跟小叮当的口袋一样 应有尽有 |
| [02:19] | You’re like Mary Poppins, if her magic purse was | 你简直就像是《欢乐满人间》的保姆[1964年美国电影] |
| [02:21] | also filled with drugs. | 如果她的包里也装的是毒品的话 |
| [02:22] | “If”? Ted, the kids in that movie jumped | “如果” 泰德 电影里的那群孩子 |
| [02:25] | into a painting and spent 15 minutes chasing a cartoon fox. | 跳到一幅画里 并且花了15分钟追一只卡通狐狸 |
| [02:29] | “Spoonful of sugar…”? | 真的只是因为”一勺糖”吗 |
| [02:31] | Grow up. | 醒醒吧你 |
| [02:33] | I’m so sorry for your loss, Judy. | 节哀顺变 朱迪 |
| [02:36] | Thank you, Reverend. | 谢谢你 神父 |
| [02:37] | We’re so happy that you’re going to lead the services today. | 我们很高兴你能主持今天的仪式 |
| [02:41] | Unfortunately, I can’t. | 抱歉 我做不了 |
| [02:43] | My daughter in Chicago just went into labor. | 我在芝加哥的女儿要生了 |
| [02:46] | But I’m leaving you in the capable hands | 但是我的得力助手会留下帮你的 |
| [02:49] | of my second-in-command: my son. | 那就是我儿子 |
| [02:52] | Your son? | 你儿子 |
| [02:53] | Oh, you remember Trey. | 对啊 你记得特里吧 |
| [02:55] | I’ll go grab him. | 我去叫他 |
| [02:58] | Guys… | 朋友们 |
| [02:59] | Trey Platt terrorized me growing up. | 特里·普拉小时候老是吓唬我欺负我 |
| [03:03] | He was, he was the toughest bully in school. | 他是我们学校最凶狠的男生 |
| [03:05] | ‘Sup Marshall. | 最近好吗 马修 |
| [03:06] | Hello, Trey. | 你好 特里 |
| [03:09] | Long time | 好久不见 |
| [03:11] | I was not aware that you had become a reverend. | 我还真没想到 你会子承父业当神父 |
| [03:15] | Yeah, well, your lunch money finally ran out. | 是啊 你上交的午饭钱最后还是花光了 |
| [03:17] | Kidding! | 开个玩笑 |
| [03:20] | Marshall Eriksen, you could use a laugh. | 马修·埃里克森 你准备好要笑了 |
| [03:23] | Yeah! | 没错 |
| [03:25] | This video is entitled, | 这个短片的题目是 |
| [03:27] | “Little League Coach Gets Hit in the Nuts | “教练被界外球袭蛋” |
| [03:28] | by a Foul Ball and Then Vomits in a Garbage Can.” | “在垃圾桶旁呕吐不止” |
| [03:31] | I don’t wanna give anything away. Let’s just watch. | 我可不想剧透 咱们还是看吧 |
| [03:38] | See? ‘Cause, ’cause he got hit… | 看吧 因为他被球 |
| [03:40] | …right in the nuts, | 打到蛋了 |
| [03:41] | The fat kid just runs away. | 那胖小子立马就跑走了 |
| [03:44] | Trey Platt. | 特里·普拉 |
| [03:47] | I can’t believe my father’s funeral service is being led | 我简直不敢相信我父亲的葬礼 居然让这个”撞头机器” |
| [03:50] | by Trey “The Noogie Machine” Platt. | 特里·普拉来主持 |
| [03:53] | That guy gave you noogies? | 这人能撞到你的头吗 |
| [03:54] | What, did he carry a stepladder? | 靠 难道他还自带扶梯不成 |
| [03:56] | He made me carry it. | 他让我带上的 |
| [03:59] | So, my dad has these questions he asks to help create | 我爸爸想通过这些问题 |
| [04:02] | a theme for the service, or whatever. | 来给这次仪式 找一个主题 |
| [04:05] | Question one: | 第一个问题 |
| [04:07] | “What were your last words with the deceased?” | “你跟逝去者最后一次谈话是什么” |
| [04:10] | Lame. | 没新意 |
| [04:11] | Question two: | 第二个问题 |
| [04:13] | Wait… | 等等 |
| [04:14] | My last words with Marvin were lovely. | 我跟马尔文最后一次谈话特别甜蜜 |
| [04:17] | I’ve been thinking about them a lot. | 我最近常常回想这个 |
| [04:19] | Me, too. | 我也是 |
| [04:20] | We went for a hike in the snow | 我们一起在雪中远足 |
| [04:22] | and had this amazing talk. | 还有了那次极妙的谈话 |
| [04:24] | My last day with Pop, | 我跟父亲在一起的最后一天 |
| [04:25] | he taught my son how to skate. | 他教会我儿子怎么滑冰 |
| [04:30] | Well, this is clearly yielding nothing. | 看来是没什么收获 |
| [04:32] | Thanks, Dad. | 谢谢 老爸 |
| [04:33] | Guess I’ll have to fill the time | 看来我又只能找些笑话 |
| [04:35] | with some jokes… again. | 来凑时间了 |
| [04:38] | “Last words” seems like a good theme. | “最后的话语”是个很好的主题 |
| [04:42] | Marshall, do you remember the last thing your father said to you? | 马修 你记得你爸爸最后跟你说的话是什么吗 |
| [04:46] | -Bye, sweetie.-Bye, Mom. | -再见了 亲爱的 -再见了 妈妈 |
| [04:50] | Son, | 儿子 |
| [04:52] | there’s something I want to say before I leave. | 走之前我想跟你说 |
| [04:55] | Yeah, Dad? | 什么事 爸爸 |
| [04:59] | Could I snag that extra pork chop for the flight? | 我能把剩下的猪排 带上飞机吃吗 |
| [05:03] | I was gonna make a sandwich with that, Dad. | 我还想留着做三明治呢 爸 |
| [05:06] | Dad, don’t they have food on the plane? | 爸 飞机上不是提供食物吗 |
| [05:07] | Yeah, but plane food is ass. | 是啊 但飞机餐太屎了 |
| [05:12] | “Plane food is ass.” | “飞机餐太屎了” |
| [05:15] | Those are the last words my father will ever say to me. | 这是我爸跟我说的最后一句话 |
| [05:19] | Right after I denied the man a pork chop. | 就在我要独食猪扒 而拒绝他之后说的 |
| [05:22] | Oh, God. | 我的天 |
| [05:28] | Wait! | 等等 |
| [05:29] | I’m wrong! | 我记错了 |
| [05:30] | I’m wrong! That wasn’t it! | 我记错了 不是这句话 |
| [05:32] | They couldn’t find a cab… | 他们打不到车 |
| [05:34] | Hey, Marshall! | 马修 |
| [05:35] | – so my dad called up from the street. – Marshall! | -我爸就在街上对我喊话 -马修 |
| [05:38] | Looks like rain out here! | 好像有点下雨 |
| [05:40] | I couldn’t find an umbrella in your closet! | 我在你柜子里没找到雨伞 |
| [05:45] | You know who probably has an umbrella? | 你知道谁会有把雨伞吗 |
| [05:47] | And then, well, see, | 其实吧 你们都知道 |
| [05:50] | my dad grew up in a small town, in another generation, | 我爸在一个小镇上长大 是上一代人 |
| [05:52] | so sometimes– totally well-meaningly– | 所以有时候 他会说类似这样的话 |
| [05:55] | he’d say stuff like… | 但是完全没有恶意 |
| [05:56] | The Koreans across the hall! | 对门的韩国人 |
| [05:59] | Hey, the Koreans are a trustworthy and generous people! | 韩国人值得信赖 而且慷慨大方 |
| [06:02] | Dad… | 爸爸 |
| [06:04] | I betcha one of the Koreans has an umbrella! | 我打赌肯定有个韩国人有雨伞 |
| [06:06] | Heck, they’re Koreans! | 管他呢 他们是韩国人 |
| [06:10] | My dad’s last words to me were a string | 我爸对我说的最后一句话 |
| [06:14] | of odd racial stereotypes. | 是一堆奇怪的种族偏见 |
| [06:16] | All that stuff was really nice! | 但都是好话 |
| [06:18] | Yeah! It’s positive racism! | 对啊 积极的种族主义 |
| [06:21] | This is worse than the pork chop. | 这句比猪排那句还烂 |
| [06:25] | This next clip is entitled, | 下段短片的题目是 |
| [06:27] | “Guy Playing Bagpipes Gets Hit in the Nuts by Low-Flying Seagull”” | “吹风笛的人 被低速飞行的海鸥袭蛋” |
| [06:31] | Let’s see what happens. | 我们来看看是怎么回事 |
| [06:34] | Here he comes… | 鸟来了 |
| [06:41] | ‘Cause he gets hit right in the nuts. | 正中蛋心 |
| [06:44] | And then the fat kid loses his swim trunks. | 那个胖小子的游泳裤掉了 |
| [06:48] | – Fall off. – Shorts just fall right off. | -掉了 -短裤就这么掉了 |
| [06:50] | No, wait– I’m wrong. | 等等 我记错了 |
| [06:51] | That wasn’t it. | 那不是最后一句 |
| [06:51] | They couldn’t find a cab, so I went down there. | 他们打不到车 所以我下楼了 |
| [06:53] | Hey, you were right. | 你说的没错 |
| [06:56] | The Kangs did, in fact, have an umbrella. | 康家确实有伞 |
| [06:58] | Of course they did. | 他们肯定有 |
| [07:00] | Bye, sweetie. | 再见 亲爱的 |
| [07:03] | Hey, son, I just want to leave you with a little advice. | 儿子 我想给你一个小小的建议 |
| [07:12] | Rent Crocodile Dundee III. | 去租《鳄鱼邓迪3》 |
| [07:15] | I caught it on the cable last night. | 昨晚电视上放了 |
| [07:18] | It totally holds up! | 超好看的 |
| [07:21] | Crocodile Dundee III is the second-best of the Croc trilogy, | 《鳄鱼邓迪3》是鳄鱼三部曲里面第二好看的 |
| [07:25] | so maybe I can live with that. | 这个我还能接受 |
| [07:29] | Oh, sorry, my phone’s charged. | 抱歉 我的手机在充电 |
| [07:32] | I, uh, I hear you’re a woman who can get things. | 我听说 你就是那个能搞到货的女人 |
| [07:35] | I’ve been known to locate certain objects | 我有时是能搞到你们想要的东西 |
| [07:37] | from time to time. | 所以此传闻不假 |
| [07:38] | I need vodka and dirty playing cards. | 我想要伏特加 和能出老千的扑克牌 |
| [07:43] | I got ya. | 包在我身上 |
| [07:47] | Oh, my God. | 我的天 |
| [07:48] | What is it? | 怎么了 |
| [07:51] | I have a voice mail from my dad. | 我电话里有我爸的一则语音留言 |
| [08:00] | You have a voice mail from your dad? | 你爸给你留了一则语音留言 |
| [08:02] | How? | 怎么可能 |
| [08:03] | My phone’s been out of juice, | 我的手机一直都没电 |
| [08:06] | so he must’ve called me the day the he, uh… | 他肯定是出事那天给我打的电话 |
| [08:10] | Baby, are you okay? | 宝贝 你还好吗 |
| [08:12] | I hold in my hand the last words my father will ever say to me. | 我手里握着我爸对我说的最后一句话 |
| [08:21] | I’m gonna hit play. | 我要按播放键了 |
| [08:25] | What’s wrong? | 怎么了 |
| [08:26] | What if it’s worse than Crocodile Dundee III? | 要是比《鳄鱼邓迪3》还要糟糕的话 怎么办 |
| [08:31] | I can’t do this. I can’t… | 我做不到 我做不到 |
| [08:34] | My mom is about to collapse. I’m gonna… | 我妈的盘子快倒了 我得去帮她 |
| [08:36] | Wait. no, no, baby… Baby, I got it. Let me. | 等等 你别去了 宝贝 我去帮她 |
| [08:42] | You should listen to it. | 你应该听听看 |
| [08:43] | Just don’t put too much pressure on it. | 别给自己太大压力了 |
| [08:45] | She’s right. | 她说的没错 |
| [08:46] | I mean, this idea that someone’s last words have | 谁规定人死前最后的话语 |
| [08:48] | to be profound and meaningful? | 一定要深刻又有意义 |
| [08:49] | I mean, who can live up to that? | 我是说 有几个能真正做到的 |
| [08:51] | Exactly. | 说得对 |
| [08:52] | All those “famous last word” people supposedly said? | 所有那些人们信以为真的”著名遗言” |
| [08:54] | They’re all made up. | 全都是瞎掰的 |
| [08:56] | Like that patriotic dude, Nathan Hale, | 比如三年级历史课本上 那个爱国的老兄 |
| [08:59] | from third-grade history? | 内森·黑尔[美国内战英雄] |
| [09:00] | My I only regret | 我唯一的憾事 |
| [09:03] | is I have but one life to lose for my country. | 就是只有一次生命献给我的祖国 |
| [09:07] | You know what his real last words were? | 你知道他真正的最后一句话是什么吗 |
| [09:09] | I’m peeing my pants! | 我尿裤子了 |
| [09:12] | True story. | 这是真事 |
| [09:15] | The point is, last words are overrated. | 重点就是 最后一句话往往被夸大 |
| [09:18] | Look, think of it this way: | 你应该这么想 |
| [09:20] | you get to hear your dad’s voice one last time. | 你还能最后再听一次你爸爸的声音 |
| [09:23] | I should go listen to this… | 我应该去听一下 |
| [09:25] | alone, okay? | 我自己去 可以吗 |
| [09:27] | – I’ll be back. – Okay. | -马上回来 -好的 |
| [09:32] | Hey, so, um, I heard you might have… | 我听说 你能 |
| [09:36] | You heard right. | 你听说的没错 |
| [09:37] | I’m getting a reputation. | 姐名声在外了 |
| [09:40] | So, what you need, mama? Come here. | 这位妈妈 你需要点什么 跟我来 |
| [09:45] | Guys, listen to what just happened. | 伙计们 刚才发生件大事了 |
| [09:47] | Judy, do you need a break? I’m happy to cook for a while. | 朱迪 你要休息一下吗 我很乐意帮你做饭 |
| [09:51] | You think your snobby New York cooking is | 你认为你那虚有其表的纽约厨艺 |
| [09:54] | better than mine– admit it! | 比我强对吧 你就承认吧 |
| [09:56] | Well, go ahead, Lily, why don’t you just whip up a batch | 来啊 莉莉 你干嘛不来做一堆 |
| [10:00] | of your fancy tofu sushi bagels! | 华丽丽的豆腐寿司面包圈呢 |
| [10:03] | And choke on them! | 然后把人通通噎死 |
| [10:06] | Whoa. Are you okay? | 你还好吗 |
| [10:07] | Listen! | 听我说完 |
| [10:11] | I’m gonna go take a nap. | 我要去小睡一会儿 |
| [10:14] | Judy’s finally sleeping and it’s all because of me! | 朱迪终于去睡觉了 这都是我的功劳 |
| [10:17] | Guys, I have a role: I’m Judy’s bitch! Yeah! | 各位 我的新角色就是 朱迪的出气包 |
| [10:21] | Well, but this day is tough on you, too. | 今天对你来说也很难熬吧 |
| [10:23] | You sure you can absorb all that? | 你确定你都能承受得了吗 |
| [10:25] | Yeah! Robin gave me a little orange pill from her purse. | 能 罗宾从她包里拿了一个橘黄色小药片给我 |
| [10:28] | I don’t know what’s in it, | 虽然我不知道是什么成分 |
| [10:29] | but things are flowin’ pretty smooth right now. | 但现在所有事情都进展顺利 |
| [10:32] | Hey, stay hydrated. | 要多喝水 |
| [10:36] | So? | 怎样了 |
| [10:37] | I couldn’t listen to it. | 我没勇气去听 |
| [10:40] | Guys, this is hard. | 伙计们 这太难了 |
| [10:42] | We know, baby. | 我们了解 宝贝 |
| [10:43] | But you’ll always wonder, if you don’t. | 但如果你不听 你会一直想知道他说了什么 |
| [10:45] | Your dad loved you. | 你爸爸爱你 |
| [10:46] | It almost doesn’t matter what he said. | 真的不必太在意 他最后这则留言 |
| [10:48] | – It doesn’t. – That’s true. | -别太在意了 -就是 |
| [10:49] | Guys, guys, what if– | 伙计们 要是 |
| [10:50] | God forbid– | 但愿这样的事不会发生 |
| [10:52] | all of your dads died right now? | 要是你们的父亲们 现在突然过世了 |
| [10:56] | What would their last words to you have been? Seriously. | 他们留给你们最后的话语会是什么呢 我是说真的 |
| [10:58] | I know mine. | 我知道我爸的 |
| [11:01] | When I was in Cleveland last month, | 上个月我在克利夫兰的时候 |
| [11:03] | I went to visit my dad at his… | 去我爸的离婚后单身公寓 |
| [11:06] | post-divorce bachelor pad. | 拜访他 |
| [11:08] | Been fun bro-ing out with you tonight, T-Dawg. | 今晚跟你以兄弟档的身份出去玩真爽 小泰泰 |
| [11:12] | Yeah… so glad we can we can talk about our sex lives now. | 是啊 真高兴现在我们能高谈阔论彼此的性生活 |
| [11:16] | That’s totally an improvement. | 这真是个重大的进步 |
| [11:18] | I hooked up with a younger woman the other week– | 我前几周勾搭上了一个年轻女人 |
| [11:22] | Donna Bromstead. | 她叫唐娜·布罗斯带德 |
| [11:25] | My prom date?! | 我之前约会过的那个 |
| [11:26] | How far did you get, T-Dawg? | 你们进行到哪一步了 小泰泰 |
| [11:30] | I have to go. | 我得走了 |
| [11:35] | How would you like those to be your father’s last words? | 如果那些是你父亲跟你最后的谈话 你感觉如何 |
| [11:39] | Well, they might be. | 很有可能 |
| [11:40] | Donna Bromstead’s husband is a cop. | 唐娜·布罗斯带德的老公是个条子 |
| [11:47] | Lawyered. | 法律上算成立 |
| [11:50] | Lily? | 莉莉 |
| [11:53] | Hello. | 喂 |
| [11:55] | Lily, it’s Dad. | 莉莉 是爸爸 |
| [11:57] | Listen, I’m sort of in jail for not paying taxes | 听着 我因为过去25年没交税 |
| [11:59] | for the last 25 years. | 而进了监狱 |
| [12:01] | But bright side– I thought of a great new board game. | 但令人高兴的是 我想到了一个新的棋盘游戏 |
| [12:03] | “Tax Evasion”– ages six to ten. | 叫”偷税漏税” 适合六到十岁儿童 |
| [12:06] | Which is, ironically, what I might be looking at. | 真讽刺啊 我整好看见边上放着这么一个棋盘 |
| [12:09] | Anyway, Pumpkin, I need $15,000. | 无论如何 亲爱的 我需要一万五千美金 |
| [12:12] | Fooled ya. | 骗到你啦 |
| [12:14] | Leave a message after the beep. | 嘀声后请留言 |
| [12:15] | We’ll get back to ya. | 我们会尽快回复你 |
| [12:17] | Beep. | 嘀 |
| [12:22] | Lawyered. | 法律上算成立 |
| [12:25] | Robin? | 罗宾 |
| [12:28] | And so, despite the endless disappointment you’ve caused me, | 尽管你带给我无穷无尽的失望 |
| [12:31] | I pray that this will finally be the year | 我仍然祈祷今年会是 |
| [12:34] | that you achieve something of actual significance. | 你终于能真正有所作为的一年 |
| [12:37] | I’d love to stop lying to my friends | 我再也不想跟朋友们撒谎 |
| [12:39] | about you being in a coma. | 说你还在昏迷中了 |
| [12:42] | Anyway, the point is, happy birthday, RJ. | 尽管如此 我还是要说 生日快乐 罗宾 |
| [12:48] | That’s awful. | 真糟糕 |
| [12:49] | No, here’s the awful part. | 不 糟糕的在后面呢 |
| [12:51] | You remembered my birthday! | 你终于记得我的生日了 |
| [12:58] | Lawyered. | 法律上算成立 |
| [12:59] | Now can we all just admit | 现在我们是不是都该承认 |
| [13:02] | that last words are, in fact, a big deal? | 实际上最后的话语还是挺重要的吧 |
| [13:04] | Yes. Yes. | 是啊 |
| [13:06] | Man, I always thought I had it rough | 伙计们 我总以为不知道 |
| [13:09] | not really knowing my dad, but… | 自己的父亲是谁挺不幸的 但是 |
| [13:12] | now I realize at least | 现在我意识到 |
| [13:13] | I’ll never have to suffer like this. | 至少我不用为这个问题而痛苦 |
| [13:16] | Our next video is called | 我们的下一段短片叫做 |
| [13:18] | “German Shepherd Activates Tennis Ball Cannon | “德国佬遭遇网球大炮 |
| [13:20] | While Fat Kid Sips Energy Drink.” | 小胖孩浅酌功能饮料” |
| [13:21] | –Barney, please, Barney! –It’s… | -巴尼 行了 巴尼 -那是关于 |
| [13:23] | No more videos, okay? | 别提视频了 好吗 |
| [13:25] | I just need a minute. | 让我一个人静一静 |
| [13:28] | Okay… | 够了 |
| [13:30] | okay, who is responsible for this? | 够了 这是谁干的好事 |
| [13:32] | Who got Cousin Daphne drunk? | 谁把达芙妮表妹灌醉了 |
| [13:34] | She is 15 years old. | 她才15岁 |
| [13:37] | Whoa, they grow big out here. | 哇 他们家人发育真好 |
| [13:39] | And here’s your phone number back. | 电话号码还你 |
| [13:45] | – Judy, I… – I did it. | -朱迪 我 -是我干的 |
| [13:47] | What possible excuse could you have for this? | 你还有什么好辩解的吗 |
| [13:51] | I’m from New York. | 我来自纽约 |
| [13:52] | We think getting minors drunk is funny. | 我们觉得小醉怡情 |
| [13:54] | There’s nothing funny about getting minors drunk! | 小醉没什么可怡情的 |
| [13:58] | You should be ashamed, Lily! | 你应该觉得羞愧 莉莉 |
| [14:00] | Ashamed! | 羞愧 |
| [14:06] | Oh, cripes, that’s tasty. | 天啊 真好吃 |
| [14:09] | That salad’s the first food she’s eaten in two days. | 那盆沙拉是她两天以来头一次进食 |
| [14:13] | Sure, it’s mostly cheese, mayonnaise and jelly beans, | 虽然 沙拉里大部分是奶酪 蛋黄酱和彩色软糖 |
| [14:15] | but it counts. | 但也算食物 |
| [14:17] | Well, at least someone’s helping. | 至少有些人还有点用 |
| [14:18] | We haven’t made Marshall laugh once. | 咱们一次都没让马修笑过 |
| [14:20] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [14:22] | Showing videos of guys getting hit in the nuts | 给他看了男人各种袭蛋的视频 |
| [14:25] | wasn’t going to do anything. | 一点用也没有 |
| [14:26] | – I’m just stupid. – Stupid. | -我真蠢 -蠢死了 |
| [14:27] | What we need to do is hit each other in the nuts. | 我们应该自己表演袭蛋 |
| [14:30] | Yes. | 对呀 |
| [14:32] | Nothing beats the immediacy of live theater. | 没有什么比得上现场演出的视觉冲击 |
| [14:35] | But which one of us is going to take the hit? | 但是咱们俩谁的蛋会这么不幸呢 |
| [14:38] | Hey, Marshall. | 嘿 马修 |
| [14:41] | So that’s it? | 这就踢了 |
| [14:43] | No discussion? | 都不商量一下 |
| [14:45] | I’m not going to listen. | 我还是不听了 |
| [14:48] | “Rent ‘Crocodile Dundee III’ “ | “去租《鳄鱼邓迪3》” |
| [14:50] | are the last words that my father will ever say to me, | 就是爸爸对我说的最后一句话 |
| [14:53] | and I think I can live with that. | 我觉得我能接受 |
| [14:58] | Is he laughing? | 他笑了吗 |
| [15:01] | Marshall really did think he could live with that. | 直到追悼会前夕 马修一直坚信 |
| [15:04] | That is, until later, at the memorial service. | 自己真的可以接受 |
| [15:07] | My last talk with Marvin was so lovely. | 马尔文与我最后的谈话是那么地美好 |
| [15:11] | The stories his mother and brothers told were so perfect. | 他的妈妈和兄弟发表的悼词是如此完美 |
| [15:16] | Then he picked my crying son up off the ice. | 于是他把我哭泣的儿子从冰上抱起来 |
| [15:19] | He gave him a hug and said, | 然后给他一个拥抱 并说道 |
| [15:20] | “Champ, it doesn’t matter if you fall down once in a while.” | “查普 偶尔跌倒 没什么大不了的” |
| [15:24] | And as we hiked, a little deer appeared on the path. | 我们父子俩一起去远足时 一只小鹿出现在路上 |
| [15:27] | She hopped over to Dad and started eating– | 她径直跃到父亲跟前 在他手掌边 |
| [15:30] | right out of his hand. | 低下头 静静吃草 |
| [15:32] | And then he kissed me and he said… | 然后他吻我 他还说 |
| [15:36] | “I will always be proud of you” | “我将永远以你为荣” |
| [15:38] | “Life is such a gift.” | “生命是上天赐予我们的一份礼物” |
| [15:41] | “You know something, gorgeous, “ | “大美人 告诉你” |
| [15:44] | “I’m the luckiest man alive.” | “我是活在世界上最幸运的男人” |
| [15:49] | Lame. | 没新意 |
| [15:50] | These stories suck. | 这些故事真没劲 |
| [15:52] | Doesn’t hold a candle to your Crocodile Dundee thing. | 这些烂悼词还没《鳄鱼邓迪》来得感人 |
| [15:58] | You’re up next, baby. | 宝贝 下一个该你了 |
| [16:04] | I just need some air. | 我需要呼吸点新鲜空气 |
| [16:11] | Baby, are you okay? | 宝贝 你还好吧 |
| [16:15] | I have to listen to it. | 我一定要听这个 |
| [16:31] | It’s a pocket dial. | 是手机放在口袋里 不小心按到的 |
| [16:34] | It’s nothing. | 什么都没有 |
| [16:46] | Hey, so it’s a pocket dial. | 就算是不小心按到又怎么样 |
| [16:50] | You have so many great memories with your dad. | 你跟你父亲已经拥有这么多美好的回忆 |
| [16:53] | Who cares about the last one? | 何必要对最后一则留言耿耿于怀 |
| [16:55] | – She’s right. – Your dad was hilarious. | -她说得对 -你父亲是一个有趣的人 |
| [16:57] | You guys don’t get it, okay? | 你们都不明白 别说了 |
| [16:58] | None of you do. | 没人懂我 |
| [17:01] | My dad was my hero. | 我的父亲是我心目中的英雄 |
| [17:05] | And he was my teacher. | 他是我人生的导师 |
| [17:07] | And he was my best friend. | 他还是我最好的朋友 |
| [17:11] | He always came through for me. | 他总是帮我解决难题 带我离开困境 |
| [17:14] | And now he’s just gone. | 而他现在 就这么走了 |
| [17:18] | And what am I left with? | 可留给我的 是什么 |
| [17:23] | Thanks a lot, God! | 老天爷 感激不尽呀 |
| [17:26] | Thank you! | 谢谢你 |
| [17:27] | You took my father– | 你带走了我的父亲 |
| [17:29] | the greatest man that I have ever known– | 他是迄今我所认识的最伟大的人 |
| [17:33] | and you ripped him off this Earth, way too young! | 而你却硬生生把他带离这个世界 让他英年早逝 |
| [17:38] | And he’ll never get to meet our kids, Lily. | 他还没来得及见我们的孩子 莉莉 |
| [17:42] | But we got this voice mail. | 但他留给我们一则电话留言 |
| [17:47] | Thank you so much for the voice mail! | 老天爷 多谢你怜悯我 赐我这则留言 |
| [17:49] | It’s a great comfort! | 我深感安慰 |
| [17:50] | ‘Cause whenever I’m starting to feel lonely or sad, or– | 因为每当我感到孤独 或难过的时候 |
| [17:54] | or you know what,or maybe a little bit cheated, | 又或是 在生活中觉得被捉弄时 |
| [17:57] | at least I got the sound of his pocket to console me. | 至少我还有他口袋里的噪音 来安抚我 |
| [18:00] | Marshall… | 马修 |
| [18:01] | How is this fair? | 这太不公平了 |
| [18:02] | You know, like, an entire human life | 就好比一个人 他整个人生 |
| [18:06] | and it just ends for no reason, and… | 突然就结束了 毫无缘由 |
| [18:09] | and what are we left with? | 而留给我们的 又是什么 |
| [18:14] | Marshall? | 马修 |
| [18:16] | Oh, looks like I’ve been calling you for almost five minutes. | 好像这通话时间快将近五分钟了 |
| [18:20] | How’s my pocket sound? | 我的口袋听起来如何 |
| [18:24] | Oh, sorry about that, buddy. | 真是不好意思啊 儿子 |
| [18:26] | Um, anyway, your mom and I had such a great time seeing you. | 总之 与你这次见面 我和你妈都很开心 |
| [18:30] | I love you. | 我爱你 |
| [18:35] | Looks like your dad came through one last time. | 感觉好像你爸又活了最后一次 |
| [18:47] | “I love you.” | “我爱你” |
| [18:49] | My father’s last words to me are “I love you.” | 我父亲对我说的最后一句话是 “我爱你” |
| [18:53] | Ooh, and let me know if you find my foot cream. | 对了 如果你找到我的足部药膏 记得告诉我 |
| [18:57] | That fungus thing is acting up again. | 我的香港脚又开始复发了 |
| [19:02] | “I love you.” | “我爱你” |
| [19:06] | My father’s last words to me are “I love you.” | 我父亲对我说的最后一句话 就是”我爱你” |
| [19:09] | – Yes. – Yes, they were. | -是的 -是 就是 |
| [19:10] | – We heard it. – Loud and clear. | -我们都听见了 -又响亮又清晰 |
| [19:14] | Bye, Pop. | 爸 再见 |
| [19:18] | So Marshall finally got up to speak. | 马修终于鼓起勇气 上台念悼词 |
| [19:20] | Funny thing, though… | 不过 他要说有趣的事 |
| [19:22] | Then my father said the last words that he’ll ever say to me: | 我的父亲对我说的最后一句话是 |
| [19:26] | “Rent Crocodile Dundee III. | “去租《鳄鱼邓迪3》” |
| [19:31] | “I caught it on the cable last night | “我昨晚在电视上看了” |
| [19:32] | and it totally holds up.” | “超好看的” |
| [19:34] | He decided to keep Marvin’s real last words | 而马尔文真正的最后一句话 |
| [19:37] | just for himself. | 马修决定留给自己 |
| [19:39] | Thanks. | 谢谢你 |
| [19:40] | For what? | 为啥谢我 |
| [19:42] | I know what you’ve been doing today. | 我知道你今天的小把戏 |
| [19:45] | And I really needed it. | 不过 我真的很需要它 |
| [19:48] | Any time. | 随时为您效劳 |
| [19:52] | That dress makes you look like a Kansas City whore. | 你这条裙子让你看起来像堪萨斯城里的妓女 |
| [19:56] | Sorry, dear. Last one. | 抱歉 亲爱的 最后一次了 |
| [20:03] | Oh, man. | 天啊 |
| [20:05] | I should have rented Crocodile Dundee III. | 我真应该把《鳄鱼邓迪3》租回来 |
| [20:10] | Okay, seriously, how are you doing that? | 够了 说真的 你是怎么做到的 |
| [20:15] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [20:17] | I’ll be right back. | 我马上回来 |
| [20:23] | And if I don’t come back, | 如果我没回来 |
| [20:25] | well, then these are my last words to you all. | 以下这句话 就是我留给你们的最后一句话 |
| [20:30] | I really, really, really love you guys. | 我真的 真的很爱你们 |
| [20:36] | Now I’m going to go drop a deuce. | 现在 请容我去排个便 |
| [20:40] | Last words– it’s a lot of pressure, kids. | 孩子们 最后一句话 往往饱含压力 |
| [20:43] | * And what do we know * | * 我们到底多了解 * |
| [20:43] | It gets you thinking. | 同时发人深省 |
| [20:46] | * About what we’ve earned * | * 我们所拥有的是多么珍贵 * |
| [20:48] | * Will all the love we’ve spent * | * 我们付出全部的爱 * |
| [20:48] | Hi, Dad. | 爸 |
| [20:50] | * Return to us * | * 最终都会收到回报吗 * |
| [20:50] | Hi, Dad. | 爸 |
| [20:53] | * Or will we sour one another * | * 或是我们会在匆忙中* |
| [20:53] | Hi, Dad. | 爸 |
| [20:55] | * In a rush * | * 为了让自己好过 * |
| [20:55] | Hey, Mom. | 妈 |
| [20:59] | * To feel right. * | * 而让彼此失望吗 * |
| [20:59] | I’m ready to meet my dad. | 我准备好去见我亲生父亲了 |