| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | Oh, God, guys, I’m still really hungover. | 天啊 我宿醉还没过去 |
| [00:03] | Did I really ruin a wedding? | 我真的毁了一场婚礼吗 |
| [00:04] | No, you didn’t ruin a wedding. | 没有 你没毁了婚礼 |
| [00:06] | Just the reception. | 只有接待处而已 |
| [00:08] | And the bar mitzvah next door. | 还有隔壁的犹太成年礼 |
| [00:10] | And my dress. | 还有我的裙子 |
| [00:12] | And your dress. You put on a dress at one point. | 还有你的裙子 你一度穿了条裙子 |
| [00:14] | Okay, you know what, that’s it. | 好了 到此为止 |
| [00:16] | I’m about to be a dad, and I want to be | 我就要当爸爸了 我要成为 |
| [00:19] | the kind of man that my child can look up to. | 让我孩子崇拜的男人 |
| [00:21] | So, sweeping declaration– | 所以在此郑重宣布 |
| [00:24] | I am never getting drunk again as long as I live. | 我此生再也不喝醉了 |
| [00:28] | I’m serious. | 我说真的 |
| [00:30] | Kids, it’s not that your Uncle Marshall | 孩子们 你们的马修叔叔 |
| [00:33] | had a drinking problem. | 并不嗜酒 |
| [00:34] | But whenever he made a sweeping declaration like that, | 只是他每次像那样郑重宣布 |
| [00:36] | you pretty much knew… | 结果你们也都清楚 |
| [00:38] | 第二天 | |
| [00:40] | I did it again. | 我又醉了 |
| [00:41] | But I’m getting ahead of myself. | 这件事回头再细说 |
| [00:44] | What happened to your leg? | 你的腿怎么了 |
| [00:47] | Oh, nothing. | 没事 |
| [00:48] | I’m meeting Nora for coffee. | 我约了诺拉喝咖啡 |
| [00:50] | She’s still mad at me, so I need some sympathy points. | 她还在生我的气 所以我需要装可怜 |
| [00:52] | She likes musicals, so I’m going to tell her | 她喜欢音乐剧 所以我准备告诉她 |
| [00:54] | I fell off the stage | 我在表演《堂吉诃德》的时候 |
| [00:55] | during a performance of Man of La Mancha. | 不慎从舞台上摔下来了 |
| [00:57] | What do you think? | 你们觉得呢 |
| [00:58] | Lose the cast. | 别提演员的事 |
| [01:00] | A one-man show– I like it! | 单人剧目啊 我喜欢 |
| [01:00] | 《堂吉诃德》是群舞剧目 | |
| [01:03] | Just so we’re clear– | 我们先理理思路 |
| [01:05] | this woman is mad at you because you lied to her. | 这个女人生你气是因为你对她撒谎 |
| [01:07] | So your solution is to pretend you broke your leg? | 而你的解决方法 是假装摔坏腿博同情吗 |
| [01:11] | You’re right. | 你说的对 |
| [01:12] | A neck brace. Thanks, Lil. | 应该加个护颈 多谢 莉莉 |
| [01:15] | Man, I wish I’d have talked to you sooner. | 天 我早点问你们就好了 |
| [01:17] | I’ve been practicing with these crutches all day | 我这一整天都在练习使用这副拐杖 |
| [01:19] | and whoever left them in my lobby | 把它们落在我楼道的人 |
| [01:20] | probably really needs ’em. | 现在应该非常需要它们吧 |
| [01:22] | Well, uh, I have some good news. | 我有好消息 |
| [01:24] | As you all know, I recently decided to get back out there | 你们都知道 我最近决定重振旗鼓 |
| [01:27] | and start dating again. And, uh, well… | 开始约会了 然后 |
| [01:33] | Is this you? | 这是你吗 |
| [01:35] | Uh, yeah. Hi. | 是啊 你好 |
| [01:38] | I’m Ted. | 我是泰德 |
| [01:40] | – Hi. – Hi. | -你好 -你好 |
| [01:41] | That’s great, Ted. | 这太好了 泰德 |
| [01:43] | Yeah. Yeah, it was a moment of pure destiny. | 是啊是啊 这纯粹是机缘巧合 |
| [01:45] | The kind you just can’t manufacture. | 绝对不是我故意去创造的 |
| [01:47] | Or so I thought. | 或许只是我的个人看法 |
| [01:53] | Oh, no. How did I get on there? | 哇 我居然成了封面人物 |
| [01:57] | Hi. Ted Mosby. | 你好 我是泰德・莫斯比 |
| [01:59] | Guilty. | 有罪啊 |
| [02:00] | Hi. Ted Mosby. | 嗨 泰德・莫斯比 |
| [02:02] | That is embarrassing. | 真是太难为情了 |
| [02:04] | I should be on the cover of Egg On My Face magazine. | 我应该当《尴尬一刻》的封面人物 |
| [02:07] | But I’m not. | 可我没有 |
| [02:09] | I’m on the cover of this one. | 我是被印在了这本 |
| [02:11] | Hi. Ted Mosby. | 嗨 泰德・莫斯比 |
| [02:13] | 16 moments of pure destiny in one day, | 一天内 16次机缘巧合 |
| [02:16] | and of those 16,ten were single. | 在这16人中 有10人是单身 |
| [02:20] | Of those ten, seven liked what they saw. | 这10人中 有7人对我有好感 |
| [02:23] | Of those seven,four were women. | 在这7人中 有4人是女性 |
| [02:27] | Of those four,two gave me their real number. | 在这4人中 有2人给我了真实号码 |
| [02:31] | And I have a date with both of them. | 然后我成功约到了她们俩 |
| [02:33] | Okay. | 太好了 |
| [02:38] | Guys,it’s Garrison Cootes. | 各位 是加里森・库兹打来的 |
| [02:40] | Kids, Garrison Cootes was a senior partner | 孩子们 加里森・库兹是 |
| [02:41] | at Honeywell & Cootes. | 哈尼维尔/库兹公司的高级合伙人 |
| [02:43] | One of the biggest environmental law firms in America. | 此公司是美国最大的保护环境律所 |
| [02:46] | Marshall would have given anything to work there. | 马修为了供职与此 愿意不惜一切 |
| [02:48] | If I don’t get this job, I might end up working | 如果我得不到这份工作 我也许沦为 |
| [02:50] | at, like, a Taco Bell somewhere. | 玉米卷快餐店的小工 |
| [02:52] | And nobody wants that. | 谁也不想这样 |
| [02:53] | Or maybe you guys want that, | 不过也许正合你们心意 |
| [02:54] | because you’ll get free tacos, | 因为那样你们就有免费玉米卷吃了 |
| [02:56] | ’cause your my peeps. | 毕竟你们是我的好朋友 |
| [02:57] | But right now I need all of you to calm down! | 但是现在我需要你们所有人冷静下来 |
| [03:03] | Hello. | 您好 |
| [03:05] | Marshall, this is Garrison Cootes. | 马修 我是加里森・库兹 |
| [03:06] | Sorry I didn’t get back to you sooner, | 抱歉我没能及时回复你 |
| [03:08] | but I’ve just been swamped. | 我最近老抽不开身 |
| [03:12] | Which is funny, ’cause I’m literally | 这太好笑了 因为我现在真的 |
| [03:14] | standing in a swamp. | 身处一片沼泽里 抽不开身 |
| [03:18] | Anyway, I’m just out here, I’m just collecting some samples | 总之 我来这儿采集一些 |
| [03:21] | for this pollution case we’re working on. | 我们调查的污染案要用的取样 |
| [03:23] | I love the work you guys do. | 我喜欢你们的工作 |
| [03:24] | That’s a croc… | 有条鳄鱼[双关语有假话的意思] |
| [03:25] | No, I mean it. | 不 我说真的 |
| [03:27] | No, no, there’s a crocodile about five feet away from me. | 不不 真有条鳄鱼 离我五步远 |
| [03:30] | So I’m just going to ignore the hot urine | 所以我准备忽略我们对话期间 |
| [03:31] | filling my waders as we speak, | 有泡热腾腾的尿灌满了我的靴子 |
| [03:33] | and tell you that we’re very interested. | 我只想告诉你 我们对你很感兴趣 |
| [03:35] | He’s interested. | 他很感兴趣 |
| [03:36] | Obviously we have to do some sort of credit check, | 显然我们还要做一些信誉度 |
| [03:39] | you know, a criminal record and Google search, | 犯罪记录和网络搜索等调查 |
| [03:41] | but as long as nothing unseemly turns up, | 只要不出现什么不堪入目的事情 |
| [03:43] | you’re good to go, man. | 你就准备入职吧 伙计 |
| [03:44] | That is fantastic, Mr. Cootes! | 这太好了 库兹先生 |
| [03:46] | Well, I gotta run. | 我先挂了 |
| [03:50] | This is so funny, | 真是太好笑了 |
| [03:51] | because, actually, I physically have to run now. | 因为如果我再不跑就真的要挂了 |
| [03:54] | – Croc saw you? – He’s advancing, yeah. | -鳄鱼看见你了 -是啊 它在向我逼近 |
| [04:07] | 老爸老妈浪漫史 | |
| [04:11] | The next night, Barney met Nora for coffee. | 第二天晚上 巴尼约了诺拉喝咖啡 |
| [04:13] | Thankfully, without the ridiculous leg cast. | 谢天谢地 他放弃了拄拐博同情的戏码 |
| [04:16] | Hey, Nora, thanks for meeting me here. | 诺拉 谢谢你来见我 |
| [04:19] | What happened to your neck? | 你脖子怎么了 |
| [04:20] | My wha…? Oh, it’s nothing. | 我 哦 没事 |
| [04:22] | I was performing in a one-man show of Fiddler. | 我当时正在表演单人剧目《屋顶上的小提琴手》 |
| [04:25] | There was this roof. | 然后不幸从屋顶摔下来了 |
| [04:27] | Wow, that one has fantastic ta-tas. | 哇 那人有一对绝世好咪 |
| [04:30] | What, where? | 什么 哪里 |
| [04:31] | Oh… Oh, damn it. | 完蛋 暴露了 |
| [04:32] | Ta-ta. | 再见 |
| [04:33] | Wait, Nora, wait… No, look, please don’t. | 等等 诺拉 等等 别走 |
| [04:35] | I’m sorry. I’m sorry. | 抱歉 真的很抱歉 |
| [04:36] | What is the matter with you? | 你这是怎么回事 |
| [04:38] | What kind of person needs to lie like that. | 什么样的人才需要撒这种谎 |
| [04:40] | A person who really, really likes you. | 一个真心喜欢你的人 |
| [04:42] | And suspects, probably accurately, | 或许更确切地说 是一个怀疑 |
| [04:44] | that you’re way out of his league, | 自己配不上你的人 |
| [04:46] | and so he feels the need to… | 所以他觉得有必要 |
| [04:51] | I’m sorry, you were kidding about the fantastic ta-tas, right? | 抱歉 你刚才说的绝世好咪 是开玩笑的吧 |
| [04:53] | ‘Cause I’m looking around and I do not see ’em… | 因为我扫完一遍 都没看见 |
| [04:57] | I just had two back-to-back dates. | 我刚才连续赴了两个约会 |
| [05:00] | That’s right, two lovely ladies, | 没错 和两位可爱的女人 |
| [05:02] | four large cappuccinos, and… | 喝了四大杯卡布奇诺 还有 |
| [05:05] | one sec. | 马上回来 |
| [05:07] | 两分钟后 | |
| [05:07] | And I don’t know which date was more awesome. | 我不确定哪个更好 |
| [05:10] | Let’s meet the girls. | 我来介绍一下她们吧 |
| [05:12] | Jessica is a Rhodes scholar. | 杰西卡是个领罗氏奖学金的研究生 |
| [05:12] | 罗氏奖学金是英国大学历史最长并且也是声誉最高的奖学金 | |
| [05:14] | She’s traveled all over the world. | 她周游了世界列国 |
| [05:15] | Speaks four languages, is a concert pianist. | 会说四种语言 还是个职业钢琴演奏家 |
| [05:19] | And Claire reached for the check. | 而克莱尔则主动买单 |
| [05:22] | So I don’t know. | 所以我也不知道 |
| [05:23] | It’s a squeaker. | 差距好微弱哦 |
| [05:25] | I mean, both of these girls | 这两个女孩 |
| [05:26] | have the potential to be something really special. | 都是潜力股 |
| [05:29] | – They both move on to the next round. – Wait a minute. | -她俩同时晋级了 -等等 |
| [05:32] | You’re going to date two girls at once? | 你是准备脚踏两条船吗 |
| [05:33] | Don’t you think you should just choose one | 难道你不觉得应该在正式恋爱之前 |
| [05:35] | before it gets serious? | 先选好一个吗 |
| [05:37] | Define serious. | 什么算正式恋爱 |
| [05:38] | Well, that’s complicated. | 一言难尽 |
| [05:40] | I guess you have to weigh expectations, | 你得先权衡期望值 |
| [05:42] | emotional investments… | 感情投资 |
| [05:43] | Third base. | 三垒 |
| [05:44] | Seriously, third base. | 上了三垒就算 |
| [05:46] | So I can go to second base with both of these girls, no problem? | 所以我和这两个女孩能上到二垒 对吧 |
| [05:48] | Oh, honk away, my friend. Yeah, honk away. | 放手做吧 朋友 放手去做 |
| [05:51] | Oh, no. | 不是吧 |
| [05:53] | Ever since Mr. Cootes mentioned the background check, | 自从库兹先生提出要调查背景后 |
| [05:55] | Marshall had been scouring the Internet. | 马修就一直在刷网页 |
| [05:57] | Most of what he found was pretty harmless. | 他发现大部分都无伤大雅的小玩笑 |
| [05:59] | In some cases, really awesome, until… | 有的还特别赞 直到… |
| [06:02] | Not good. | 不妙 |
| [06:03] | This– this is not good. | 这下不妙了 |
| [06:07] | Thanks, Stacy. | 谢了 史黛西 |
| [06:09] | Wesleyan has a new cafeteria, | 卫斯利大学开了家新的自助餐厅 |
| [06:11] | thanks to the generous endowment from– | 感谢捐助这笔丰厚善款的 |
| [06:14] | Did somebody say generous endowment? | 刚才是说有人慷慨解囊吗 |
| [06:17] | I’m Marshall Eriksen, but you can call me Beercules! | 我是马修・埃里克森 也可以叫我啤酒猛男里斯 |
| [06:32] | Well, that could be anybody. | 随便嫁祸给一个路人就好啦 |
| [06:38] | Oh, man, I forgot about Beercules. | 伙计 我居然忘了啤酒猛男里斯的事 |
| [06:41] | Who made this Web site anyway? | 话说这个网站是谁做的 |
| [06:43] | – Pete Durkenson.- Of course. | -皮特・�钥仙� -难怪 |
| [06:45] | Is that the guy who convinced you to run across campus naked? | 是那个人说服你裸奔校园的吗 |
| [06:48] | I was pledging his frat, | 我当时正申请加入他的兄弟会 |
| [06:50] | which I gave up on after three days, | 不过三天后我就放弃了 |
| [06:52] | because frats are stupid and elitist | 因为兄弟会里鱼龙混杂 |
| [06:55] | and also I found out he wasn’t in a frat. | 而且我发现他不是兄弟会的成员 |
| [06:58] | Oh, my God.This is awesome. | 天啊 太棒了 |
| [07:01] | I just got invited to the Architects’ Ball, | 我刚接到建筑师舞会的邀请 |
| [07:04] | the annual gala that honors the city’s greatest architects. | 这是为全市最棒的建筑师举行的年会 |
| [07:07] | Oh, no, you guys see why this sucks, right? | 天 你们知道这事的弊端了吧 |
| [07:10] | Because it’s an annual gala | 因为这年会是 |
| [07:12] | honoring the city’s greatest architects? | 为全市最棒的建筑师举行的吗 |
| [07:13] | Robin, this is the social event of the year. | 罗宾 这是年度社交活动 |
| [07:17] | You take a girl to the Architects’ Ball, | 如果你带女伴去参加了这次盛会 |
| [07:19] | brother, you’re going to third base. | 兄弟 你今晚绝对能上三垒 |
| [07:22] | Whichever girl I take as my date, | 不管我选谁做我的女伴 |
| [07:25] | she will be Miss Ted Mosby’s girlfriend | 她都会在今晚前 |
| [07:27] | by the end of the night. | 成为泰德・莫斯比的女友 |
| [07:29] | Okay, no more sitting on the fence. | 好 不能再举棋不定了 |
| [07:32] | Robin, get me my legal pad. | 罗宾 把我的拍纸簿拿来 |
| [07:34] | It’s pros and cons time! | 二选一时间 |
| [07:38] | And kids, they really cheered. | 孩子们 这是发自内心的欢呼 |
| [07:41] | Let me make one thing very clear to you. | 有件事我要说清楚 |
| [07:43] | I don’t date guys who lie to me. | 我不和撒谎骗我的人约会 |
| [07:46] | Well, see, I did not know that. | 你看 我事先不知道 |
| [07:49] | My bad. | 我的错 |
| [07:50] | So, from here on in, no more lies. | 从现在起 我不会撒谎了 |
| [07:53] | I will never lie to you again. | 我不会再骗你了 |
| [07:54] | I’m serious. Ask me anything. | 我是认真的 不信你试试 |
| [07:57] | Okay. | 好 |
| [07:59] | Have you ever successfully | 你有没有成功 |
| [08:00] | gotten a woman in bed by lying to her? | 骗到女人上床 |
| [08:02] | Have I ever… | 我有没有 |
| [08:08] | If I’m being totally honest… | 如果我完全坦诚 |
| [08:14] | Yes. | 有 |
| [08:15] | More than once? | 不止一次 |
| [08:17] | More than once… | 不止一次 |
| [08:20] | Wow, that’s… | 这真是 |
| [08:24] | I guess if we’re splitting hairs, | 我想如果我们斤斤计较 |
| [08:27] | Then, technically… there was a plurality | 然后就会涉及到我说了多少次谎 |
| [08:31] | to the times I’ve lied to women for sex having purposes. | 来骗一个女人上床 |
| [08:35] | What were they? | 多少次 |
| [08:36] | Nines and tens mostly. | 大部分是九次或者十次 |
| [08:38] | There was a four once. | 只有一回是四次 |
| [08:39] | She was a slump buster. | 她是个丑八怪 |
| [08:41] | But, Nora, after that, I had a run that you would not believe. | 但是之后 我连续得手的次数肯定会让你大吃一惊 |
| [08:45] | Man, honesty feels good. | 天啊 诚实的感觉真好 |
| [08:47] | What were the lies? | 你撒的都是什么谎 |
| [08:49] | You want me to tell you every lie I’ve ever told a woman | 你想知道 我为了哄女人上床 |
| [08:51] | to get her into bed? | 而撒的每一个谎吗 |
| [08:53] | A bed or any other place you had sex with her. | 只要骗到她们跟你发生关系的谎 我都要听 |
| [08:55] | Oh, you’re good. | 你果然够醒目 |
| [08:58] | Pete, Pete. Hey. | 皮特 皮特 你好 |
| [09:01] | Beercules! | 啤酒猛男里斯 |
| [09:02] | Bring it in, dude. | 来抱一个 老兄 |
| [09:04] | Hey, I’ve been trying to call you, | 我一直在给你打电话 |
| [09:06] | like, all night. | 打了一整晚了 |
| [09:07] | Oh, my God, sorry. | 我的天 对不起 |
| [09:08] | I would have answered, but it is Tuesday night. | 我本来可以接的 但是今天是周二之夜 |
| [09:10] | It’s Sunday. | 今天是周日 |
| [09:11] | And you know what that means. | 你知道那意味着什么 |
| [09:13] | “Edward Forty Hands.” | “爱德华啤酒手” |
| [09:15] | Kids, “Edward Forty Hands” | 孩子们 这是个游戏 |
| [09:17] | is a game that involves taping two 40-ounce bottles | 把两瓶四十盎司的麦芽酒 |
| [09:19] | of malt liquor to your hands. | 绑在你的双手上 |
| [09:22] | The object is to finish both bottle– | 任务就是喝完两瓶酒 |
| [09:24] | Oh, my God, why am I telling you this? | 天啊 我什么要告诉你们这些 |
| [09:25] | Let’s move on. | 我们继续主题 |
| [09:26] | Okay, you know that old video of me streaking? | 你知道我裸奔的那个视频吧 |
| [09:30] | I watch it every day. | 我每天都温习 |
| [09:32] | Well, I need you to take it down off the Internet. | 麻烦你把视频从网上删了吧 |
| [09:35] | Like, right now. | 比如 就现在 |
| [09:36] | There are two ways that can happen. | 现在你有两个选择 |
| [09:38] | One, you can give me $4 million, | 要么你给我四百万 |
| [09:40] | or… you can help me go to the bathroom, | 要么你在我上厕所的时候搭把手 |
| [09:43] | because I… I can’t… | 因为 我不能 |
| [09:45] | Yeah, those are two non-negotiable no’s. | 不 这两个选择都没得商量 |
| [09:49] | Well, I’m sorry we could not do business together. | 很遗憾我们没能达成交易 |
| [09:51] | But if you’ll excuse me, | 如果你不介意 |
| [09:52] | I’m in the middle of a game of “Edward Forty Hands,” | 我正在玩”爱德华啤酒手” |
| [09:54] | and the competition is fierce. | 比赛很激烈 |
| [09:58] | Who are you playing with, anyway? | 你和谁玩呢 |
| [09:59] | Just myself. | 自娱自乐 |
| [10:02] | Meanwhile, Barney continued listing every lie | 与此同时 巴尼继续把他骗女孩上床的 |
| [10:05] | he’d ever told to get laid. | 伎俩全数抖出 |
| [10:06] | There’s no time to explain how I got bit there. | 没时间解释我为什么被咬了 |
| [10:08] | I just need someone to suck the poison out. | 我需要有人帮我把毒吸出来 |
| [10:10] | The surgeons gave me a new face, | 外科医生给我换了一张新面孔 |
| [10:13] | honey. | 亲爱的 |
| [10:14] | Aren’t you relieved I’m alive? | 我还活着 你不开心吗 |
| [10:15] | Me llamo David Beckham. | 我是大卫・贝克汉姆 |
| [10:18] | If I were only casting The White Swan | 如果我来选《白天鹅》的演员 |
| [10:21] | the role would be yours. | 女主角绝对是你 |
| [10:22] | No, I am a lesbian. | 不 我是个拉拉 |
| [10:24] | This thing that I’m wearing is just really lifelike. | 只不过我身上戴的某个器官实在是太栩栩如生了 |
| [10:28] | Okay, let’s skip ahead. | 行了 这些都跳过 |
| [10:29] | What’s the worst one? | 最坏的是哪一次 |
| [10:30] | The lowest of the low? | 毫无下限 |
| [10:32] | The creme de la creepy? | 怪异之极的那次 |
| [10:33] | Uh… Oh, I once pulled The Soul Man. | 有一次我利用电影《灵魂歌手》来泡妞 |
| [10:37] | There was this beautiful girl who only dated black guys… | 因为有个美女 她只跟黑人约会 |
| [10:40] | Barnell! Ooh, I knew it! | 巴奈尔 我就知道 |
| [10:46] | I can’t decide. | 我无法抉择 |
| [10:48] | They’re both awesome. | 她们都很棒 |
| [10:50] | If only architects had two balls, right, Ted? | 要是建筑师有两个舞会就好了 对吧 |
| [10:50] | 引申义 要是您这大建筑师有勇气抉择就好了 | |
| [10:53] | I got this. | 我有办法 |
| [10:54] | Ted, left or right? | 泰德 左还是右 |
| [10:55] | Yes, yes, great idea. | 对对 好主意 |
| [10:57] | Let the fates decide, huh? | 交给命运来抉择吧 |
| [10:59] | I will pick left. | 我选左边 |
| [11:01] | Just call one of ’em. | 随便打给其中一个 |
| [11:03] | Ted, deep in your heart, | 泰德 在你的内心深处 |
| [11:05] | you know that you kind of like one more than the other. | 你知道你更喜欢的是谁 |
| [11:08] | Trust me– take the other. | 相信我 带另一个去 |
| [11:10] | Um, maybe I haven’t been clear: this is… | 我可能没说清楚 这是 |
| [11:13] | the Architects’ Ball, Robin. | 建筑师舞会 罗宾 |
| [11:15] | It’s a star-studded event. | 众星云集啊 |
| [11:16] | Okay, name one celebrity who’s gonna be there. | 哪个名人会去啊 |
| [11:18] | Uh… Lenny Kravitz. | 蓝尼・克罗维兹 |
| [11:20] | Lenny Kravitz is gonna be there? | 蓝尼・克罗维兹会去 |
| [11:21] | Yeah. He’s there every year. | 是啊 他每年都来 |
| [11:22] | And that guy’s a rock star. | 那家伙可是个摇滚明星呢 |
| [11:24] | You know, Ted, I’ve been thinking– | 泰德 我一直在想 |
| [11:27] | it’s too soon to narrow it down between these two girls. | 现在让你在这两个女孩中做决定 有点为时过早 |
| [11:30] | Just take a friend. | 带一个朋友去吧 |
| [11:31] | Like I… I don’t know, maybe, uh, a friend | 我不知道 或许你可以带 |
| [11:34] | who had a poster of Lenny Kravitz on her wall, | 家里有蓝尼・克罗维兹海报的那个吧 |
| [11:37] | and may or may not have, perhaps, | 也许她的整个高中时期 |
| [11:40] | dated that poster, on and off, throughout high school. | 和那海报分分合合 把它黏上撕下了无数次 |
| [11:44] | This pros and cons list isn’t cutting it. | 这个利弊列表没什么用处 |
| [11:48] | I need a color chart. | 我要一个彩色图表 |
| [11:51] | Color chart! Color chart! | 彩色图表 彩色图表 |
| [11:53] | And, kids, we all really chanted. | 孩子们 这是发自内心的欢唱 |
| [11:55] | Pete, please. | 皮特 求你了 |
| [11:56] | I’m unemployed. | 我待业家中 |
| [11:58] | I have a huge mortgage. | 还有巨额贷款 |
| [12:00] | I have a baby on the way. | 我的孩子马上就要降临人世 |
| [12:01] | And now, I’m about to lose a job I really need | 而现在 我却要因为十五年前的一个玩笑 |
| [12:04] | because of a 15-year-old prank! | 失去一份我急需的工作 |
| [12:06] | Ugh! Do you hear yourself? | 你听到你自己说的话了么 |
| [12:07] | Beercules, what happened? | 啤酒猛男里斯 你怎么了 |
| [12:09] | You’re like a different person. | 你完全不一样了 |
| [12:10] | The guy in that video was awesome. | 视频里那人好棒 |
| [12:13] | He had potential. | 他潜力无限 |
| [12:15] | He could have been president of the frat one day. | 他还可能当上兄弟会的老大哦 |
| [12:18] | There was no frat! | 根本就没什么兄弟会 |
| [12:19] | Now he’s just a bummer. | 现在他就一扫兴鬼 |
| [12:20] | It’s not like I want to be a bummer. | 我并不想做扫兴鬼 |
| [12:23] | I just… I have to be. | 我只是 不得已而为之 |
| [12:25] | I’m gonna be a dad. | 我要做父亲了 |
| [12:27] | You’ll have kids someday. | 你以后也会有孩子的 |
| [12:28] | You’ll understand. | 那时你就会明白我的心情 |
| [12:29] | Dude, I have four kids. | 兄弟 哥有四孩子 |
| [12:32] | Pete, please take the video down. | 皮特 请你把视频删掉吧 |
| [12:36] | All right, Beercules, I’ll take the video down. | 好的 啤酒猛男里斯 我会把视频删掉 |
| [12:38] | If… | 如果 |
| [12:39] | you can best me in a game of my own choosing. | 你能在我指定的比赛中胜过我 |
| [12:42] | Oh, no… | 不是吧 |
| [12:43] | And I select the beautiful game, | 我选择精彩之战 |
| [12:46] | the sweet science… | 动人之技 |
| [12:47] | Pete, please, I’m so hungover… | 皮特 拜托 我还宿醉未醒呢 |
| [12:49] | …the sport of kings… | 王者之拼 |
| [12:50] | I don’t want to play “Edward Forty Hands.” | 我不想玩”爱德华啤酒手” |
| [12:52] | I was gonna say darts– | 我本来想说飞镖 |
| [12:53] | but “Edward Forty Hands” it is! | 那就比”爱德华啤酒手”吧 |
| [12:56] | And that concludes all the space-related lies. | 以上是太空相关谎言 |
| [12:59] | Let’s move on to the world of sports. | 再来说运动方面的 |
| [13:02] | Oh, wait, sorry– I just thought of another space one. | 等等 我刚想起还有一个太空的 |
| [13:05] | “I’ve been bitten by a moon snake. | 我被月球上的蛇咬了 |
| [13:07] | You need to suck all the space poison out of my–“ | 你得吸光我的太空之毒 |
| [13:09] | Okay, Barney, uh, | 好了 巴尼 |
| [13:11] | I have to be at work tomorrow at 8:00, | 我明天八点得上班 |
| [13:13] | which means I have just about enough time | 如果我现在就走 |
| [13:14] | to sit in a shower for 11 hours, hugging myself. | 整好够时间泡11个小时的澡 安慰自己受伤的心灵 |
| [13:19] | So this was fun. | 咱们聊得挺开心的 |
| [13:20] | Can I call you, or…? | 我再打给你还是… |
| [13:21] | Barney, you’re funny, handsome | 巴尼 你风趣 帅气 |
| [13:24] | and really quite clever. | 非常聪明 |
| [13:26] | But you’re also a sociopath. | 但同时你也是个毫无良知的人 |
| [13:29] | Well, I count three pros and one con, so… | 三个优点比一个缺点 那 |
| [13:31] | How do you still think you have a chance with me? | 为什么你会觉得和我还有机会呢 |
| [13:33] | Because you sat here all night. | 因为你听我说了一晚 |
| [13:35] | You could’ve left right away, but you didn’t. | 你可以马上走的 但你没有 |
| [13:38] | Look, Nora, all those lies– that’s the old me. | 诺拉 那些谎言 都是过去的我 |
| [13:43] | But I swear to you, I am trying to change. | 我向你发誓 我在试图改变 |
| [13:45] | You… make me want to change. | 是你 让我想改变 |
| [13:49] | How do I know that’s not a lie? | 我如何知道这不是个谎言 |
| [13:52] | I’ll prove it. | 我会向你证明 |
| [13:54] | I will prove how serious I am. | 我会向你证明我有多认真 |
| [13:56] | I will not leave this diner | 我不会离开这家餐厅 |
| [13:59] | until I get a second date with you. | 除非你答应再跟我约会 |
| [14:03] | Good-bye, Barney. | 再见 巴尼 |
| [14:04] | I’m not kidding. | 我没开玩笑哦 |
| [14:06] | This is a 24-hour diner. | 这家餐厅24小时营业 |
| [14:07] | I’ll stay here forever, if I have to– and I will! | 我会永远待在这里 如果必须的话 我会的 |
| [14:13] | Just water for me. Thanks. | 来杯水就行 谢谢 |
| [14:17] | Okay, so red indicates level of attractiveness, | 好了 红色代表吸引力 |
| [14:20] | blue– intellectual stimulation, | 蓝色 智力激发 |
| [14:22] | green– emotional connection, | 绿色 情感沟通 |
| [14:24] | yellow– compatibility of life goals, | 黄色 人生目标的和谐性 |
| [14:27] | and purple– whether or not she reached for the check. | 紫色 有没有抢着买单 |
| [14:31] | Well, it looks like Jessica’s ahead | 看来杰西卡领先了 |
| [14:33] | in the first four categories. | 前四项 |
| [14:36] | Did not reach for the check… | 有没有抢着买单 |
| [14:42] | Oh, this? | 这件礼服吗 |
| [14:44] | No big deal. This… | 没什么大不了的 |
| [14:46] | This cost three months rent, | 虽然价值三个月房租 |
| [14:47] | and, uh, I’ve never gotten to wear it, | 可惜没机会穿 |
| [14:50] | because I bought it for that big event that you invited me to, | 我之所以会买 是因为你邀请我参加一个隆重的场合 |
| [14:52] | which then fell through. | 可惜最终泡汤了 |
| [14:54] | But, you know what? | 可你知道吗 |
| [14:55] | Don’t feel guilty about that. | 你不用感到内疚哦 |
| [14:57] | What big event? | 什么场合 |
| [14:58] | That thing with your uncle. | 为你叔叔举办的 |
| [14:59] | His funeral? | 他的葬礼吗 |
| [15:01] | It didn’t fall through, | 那可不是泡汤 |
| [15:02] | he miraculously came out of a coma. | 是他奇迹般地苏醒了好不好 |
| [15:04] | And I forgive you. | 我原谅你了 |
| [15:06] | Now, can I please meet Lenny Kravitz? | 现在 我能够有机会见蓝尼・克罗维兹吗 |
| [15:11] | I did it again! | 我又喝醉了 |
| [15:13] | Aw, honey. | 亲爱的 |
| [15:15] | You got drunk again. | 你又喝醉了 |
| [15:16] | I can’t believe I took the over. | 真不敢相信我居然下注他不再犯 |
| [15:19] | Just to be clear, “I did it again” is not a reference… | 申明下 就我当前醉酒的情况而言 |
| [15:23] | to my current state of inebriation. | “我又喝醉了”这句话没那么简单 |
| [15:26] | What’s it a reference to? | 那是有多复杂 |
| [15:28] | My name is Marshall Eriksen. | 我叫马修・埃里克森 |
| [15:30] | I’m 33 years old. | 现年33岁 |
| [15:32] | And if my potential future employer, Garrison Cootes, | 如果我的未来老板 加里森・库兹 |
| [15:37] | is watching this… | 在看这个 |
| [15:39] | bow down to Beercules! | 向啤酒猛男里斯鞠躬吧 |
| [15:49] | Well, that could be anybody. | 随便嫁祸给一个路人就好啦 |
| [15:57] | Oh, goodness. | 天啊 |
| [16:06] | Pete, this is Lily Aldrin. | 皮特 我是莉莉・艾得仁 |
| [16:08] | I’m gonna make this real simple: | 我就开门见山了 |
| [16:09] | You’re gonna take down that video of Marshall. | 你要删掉马修的视频 |
| [16:11] | You know why? | 知道为什么吗 |
| [16:12] | Because I’m friends with three girls who dated you in college, | 你在大学时约会的三个女生 都是我的朋友 |
| [16:16] | and girls tell each other everything. | 女生之间是无话不谈的 |
| [16:18] | Every tiny detail. | 连任何一个”小”细节都不放过 |
| [16:21] | Huh. So… | 所以 |
| [16:22] | tick-tock, Pete– tick-tock goes the little wee-wee clock. | 滴答滴答 皮特 小老二的钟要敲响咯 |
| [16:28] | Pete’s got a little wee-wee? | 皮特的老二很小吗 |
| [16:30] | No idea. What’s everyone getting? | 不知道 大家都点了什么 |
| [16:31] | This was bound to happen eventually. | 这事注定是要发生的 |
| [16:35] | I’ve been trying so hard to suppress, like, | 我一直拼命压制 |
| [16:37] | my carefree idiot side, | 自己快活无知的一面 |
| [16:39] | that it just rebelled and came out swingin’! | 可越压制越爆发 |
| [16:43] | It sure did. | 的确如此 |
| [16:44] | Look at me! I’m a windmill! | 快看我 我是人体风车 |
| [16:46] | Who am I kidding? I’m not ready to be a dad. | 我骗谁呀 我果然不够格当爸爸 |
| [16:50] | I thought that I was, but it’s, like… | 我曾一度觉得我可以 但 |
| [16:52] | my dad never did stuff like that, you know? | 我爸爸就从来不会干这种傻事 |
| [16:55] | So what if he did? | 如果他做过呢 |
| [16:57] | You’d still love him. | 你依然那么爱他 |
| [16:59] | And be honest– wouldn’t you love to stumble onto a video | 老实说 难道你不想偶然发现一个视频 |
| [17:02] | of him running down the street naked, yelling, | 是你自己老爸全裸狂奔在大街上 大声嚷道 |
| [17:05] | “Hey, Marshall, look at me! | 马修 快看我 |
| [17:07] | I got an icicle on my deal!” | 我的大腿内侧有一根大冰柱 |
| [17:13] | Oh! Hey, guys! | 各位好啊 |
| [17:15] | Ow! My neck! | 哎呦 我的脖子 |
| [17:19] | Look at that. | 你们看 |
| [17:20] | Barney, what are you doing here? | 巴尼 你在这儿干嘛 |
| [17:23] | Oh, I told Nora I wouldn’t leave | 我告诉诺拉 除非她愿意跟我再次约会 |
| [17:24] | until she gave me a second date, | 否则我要一直呆在这儿 |
| [17:26] | and I mean it. | 我可是很认真的哦 |
| [17:27] | I’ve already been here nine hours. | 我已经在这儿呆了九个小时了 |
| [17:29] | I still need another minute. | 再给我点时间考虑考虑 |
| [17:32] | I mean… call me crazy, but | 可能你们会觉得我很疯狂 但是 |
| [17:35] | I’m gonna stay here until I get that girl back. | 我一定要在这儿 把那个女孩等回来 |
| [17:40] | That– that’s what I want. | 那 那就是我想要的 |
| [17:44] | The way Barney feels about Nora– | 巴尼对诺拉的执着 |
| [17:46] | I want that feeling again. | 我想重拾那份执着 |
| [17:47] | I don’t want to be choosing between two girls, | 我不想在两个女孩间摇摆不定 |
| [17:50] | I want to be… a complete head-over-heels idiot for one. | 我想为了一个女孩 成为彻头彻尾的傻瓜 |
| [17:55] | Yeah, the complete head-over-heels idiot thing’s | 对 成为彻头彻尾的傻瓜 |
| [17:57] | pretty nice. | 也挺好 |
| [18:01] | It’s not bad. | 是不错 |
| [18:02] | Although, for the record– | 虽然如此 还是要报备一下 |
| [18:05] | sweeping declaration!– | 决定性的重大宣告 |
| [18:08] | I am never getting drunk again. | 我再也不会喝醉酒了 |
| [18:14] | And sure enough… | 结果当然是 |
| [18:16] | All hail Beercules! | 向啤酒猛男里斯致敬吧 |
| [18:19] | Yeah! | 太棒了 |
| [18:21] | But, again, I’m getting ahead of myself. | 这件事也留着下次再细说吧 |
| [18:32] | Hello. | 你好 |
| [18:34] | Marshall! Garrison Cootes. | 马修 我是加里森・库兹 |
| [18:36] | Yes, Mr. Cootes. | 是的 库兹先生 |
| [18:37] | Hi. How are you? | 嗨 你好 |
| [18:38] | I just wanted to let you know, we did the background check, | 我是来通知你 我们的背景调查完成了 |
| [18:40] | and that is some disturbing streaking. | 这个分层真让人心烦哪[streaking有裸奔的意思] |
| [18:40] | 马修理解为 他发现了一些有碍风化的裸奔视频 | |
| [18:43] | Sir, th-th-the thing is, um… | 先生 这是其实是 |
| [18:45] | The rainbow streaking in this sample | 这个取样出现的彩虹分层 |
| [18:47] | is definitely from chemical runoff. | 肯定是化学径流所致 |
| [18:49] | Oh, I… | 我 |
| [18:51] | Bottom line– we’d love to have you on board. | 总之 我们欢迎你的加入 |
| [18:54] | That is fantastic! | 太棒了 |
| [18:55] | Thank you, Mr. Cootes! | 谢谢你 库兹先生 |
| [18:57] | Well, you’re welcome. | 不用客气 |
| [18:58] | And– oh, and when you’re at the office, | 对了 当你来上班时 |
| [19:00] | try to wear some clothes, okay, Beercules? | 麻烦把衣服穿上 啤酒猛男里斯 |
| [19:04] | Wow! That’s a big snake. | 哇 是条大蟒 |
| [19:06] | Oh, there’s a snake in the swamp? | 沼泽里有条大蟒吗 |
| [19:07] | No, I’m talking about your penis. | 不 我是在说你的老二 |
| [19:08] | See you tomorrow. | 明天见 |
| [19:11] | I got the job. | 我录取了 |
| [19:12] | Yay! | 好耶 |
| [19:14] | And I think that my boss already sexually harassed me. | 我觉得我的老板刚在性骚扰我 |
| [19:16] | But he saw the video and he doesn’t care! | 但是他看了视频 他却不当一回事 |
| [19:18] | See that? Maybe Beercules isn’t so bad after all. | 看吧 啤酒猛男里斯也没那么糟嘛 |
| [19:21] | Yeah. | 对 |
| [19:24] | Hello? | 你好 |
| [19:25] | Hey, Marshall, my name is Pete Durkenson. | 马修 我叫皮特・�钥仙� |
| [19:27] | We went to Wesleyan together. | 我们当年一起在卫斯利念大学 |
| [19:29] | Yeah, no, I know. | 是 我知道 |
| [19:30] | Pete, we… we just hung out yesterday. | 皮特 我们昨天还一起喝酒来着 |
| [19:32] | All right, now Lily’s message makes a little more sense. | 好吧 我明白为什么会收到莉莉的留言了 |
| [19:35] | Listen, don’t worry, bro, | 听着 别担心 兄弟 |
| [19:35] | I’m gonna take down the video. | 我会把视频撤下来的 |
| [19:37] | You know what? | 你知道吗 |
| [19:38] | Leave it up. | 算了吧 |
| [19:40] | Whatever you say, Beercules. | 那随你咯 啤酒猛男里斯 |
| [19:44] | Scalpel. | 解剖刀 |
| [19:46] | You know what? This is good. | 其实这也不错 |
| [19:48] | I want our kid to see every side of who I am. | 我想让我的孩子看到我的多面性 |
| [19:51] | Yeah. | 对 |
| [19:51] | Even the side that runs through | 即使是带着喝醉的脑子 |
| [19:54] | the East Village hangin’ brain. | 裸奔向东村区的那一面 |
| [19:57] | I’m gonna call Pete back. | 我还是打电话给皮特好了 |
| [19:59] | That’s a good idea. | 这个主意不错 |
| [20:00] | That evening, I took Robin to the Architects’ Ball. | 那晚我带罗宾去参加建筑师年会 |
| [20:03] | Thanks again for taking me to this. | 再次感谢你能带我来 |
| [20:05] | My pleasure. | 乐意之极 |
| [20:06] | And, you know, you might find it interesting. | 或许你会觉得很有趣也说不定 |
| [20:10] | Yeah, yeah. Where’s Lenny Kravitz? | 是啊是啊 蓝尼・克罗维兹在哪里 |
| [20:11] | Right there. | 那里 |
| [20:13] | Leonard Kravitz, world-renowned architect. | 蓝尼・克罗维兹 世界闻名的建筑大师 |
| [20:16] | Guy’s a rock star. | 他就是个不朽的明星 |
| [20:19] | He’s gonna be giving his famous | 他准备发表著名的 |
| [20:20] | 90-minute lecture on crossbeams. | 关于横梁的90分钟演说 |
| [20:22] | Well, great. | 真是太棒了 |
| [20:23] | I’m gonna go find one and hang myself from it. | 我真想找根横梁 吊死自己算了 |
| [20:25] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [20:27] | Kids, you can’t talk yourself into falling in love. | 孩子们 你们无法说服自己去恋爱 |
| [20:30] | It doesn’t take days of deliberation. | 爱情是无需浪费时间去深思熟虑 |
| [20:33] | When it’s real, you know pretty quickly, | 只要是真爱 你立刻便能知晓 |
| [20:36] | and with absolute certainty. | 并且坚信不移 |
| [20:40] | I had forgotten that. | 我忘记了那种感觉 |
| [20:43] | But I was about to be reminded. | 但记忆即将被唤醒 |
| [20:45] | * Victoria | 维多利亚 * |
| [20:49] | * Victoria… | 维多利亚 * |