| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:00] | By the fall of 2011, technology had taken | 2011年秋天 高科技已经让 |
| [00:03] | a lot of the intrigue out of life. | 人们的生活失去了秘密 |
| [00:07] | The Internet had everyone’s wall of information. | 网络上有每个人的信息墙 |
| [00:12] | Nothing was a mystery anymore. | 任何事都不再神秘了 |
| [00:18] | But, kids, there was a time before that, | 不过 孩子们 在那之前有一段时间 |
| [00:20] | way back in the dark ages. | 回到那段黑暗时期 |
| [00:22] | Are you people insane?! | 你们疯了吗 |
| [00:23] | The most popular food in America is the cheeseburger! | 美国最受欢迎的食物是芝士汉堡 |
| [00:26] | No way! It’s pizza! | 不可能 是披萨才对 |
| [00:27] | Are we forgetting about a certain Mr. Furter, | 我们是不是忘了某位香肠先生 |
| [00:31] | first name Frank? | 他的名字叫法兰克福 |
| [00:32] | Um, what did every kid bring in their lunchbox | 嗯 每个孩子午餐盒里带的是什么 |
| [00:35] | every day till grade eight? | 直到八年级前的每一天都带 |
| [00:37] | Pancakes with maple syrup. | 蘸着枫糖浆的薄煎饼 |
| [00:39] | Thanks, Canada. | 谢谢你 加拿大 |
| [00:41] | We’re looking for a food the average American eats. | 我们在寻找一种普通美国人吃的食物 |
| [00:43] | – Yeah. Yeah. – Oh! | -没错 没错 -哦 |
| [00:45] | Chinese food. | 中国菜 |
| [00:46] | And then came the smartphone. | 后来智能手机出现了 |
| [00:51] | Hey, remember | 嘿 还记得 |
| [00:52] | when we were arguing about the most popular food? | 有一次我们争论什么才是最受欢迎的食物吗 |
| [00:56] | It’s bread. | 是面包 |
| [00:58] | Hm. | 嗯 |
| [00:59] | And the barroom debate was dead. | 酒吧争论就从此消失了 |
| [01:02] | You guys are idiots! | 你们都是白痴 |
| [01:04] | – Okay, not completely dead. – You are seriously telling me | -好吧 没有彻底消失 -你真的要告诉我 |
| [01:07] | you don’t want to open that envelope | 你不打算拆开这个信封吧 |
| [01:08] | and find out if you’re having a boy or a girl? | 看看你怀的是男孩还是女孩 |
| [01:10] | Nope. Dr. Sonya only gave us this in case we wanted to know. | 不打算 索尼娅医生给我们这个只是为了以防万一我们想知道 |
| [01:14] | But we don’t. | 但我们不想 |
| [01:16] | Lilypad and I are just gonna wait till that baby pops out | 莉莉派和我只是想等着宝宝生出来 |
| [01:18] | and enjoy the big surprise. | 然后享受这个巨大的惊喜 |
| [01:20] | Look, I have pretended to be a licensed therapist | 听着 我假装持照医生的时间 |
| [01:22] | enough times to know there is something unhealthy | 已经长到能发现你们不想知道孩子性别这件事 |
| [01:25] | about your not wanting to find out. | 是很不健康的 |
| [01:26] | – Back me up here, Kev. – No, no, no, no, no. | -支持我一下 凯文 -不 不 不 不 不 |
| [01:29] | This real therapist won’t risk upsetting | 这名真正的医生不会冒着让 |
| [01:32] | his wonderful new girlfriend by analyzing her wonderful friends. | 他的完美的新女朋友生气的风险去分析她的完美的朋友的 |
| [01:37] | No matter how mentally unbalanced they may be. | 不管他们的精神有多不正常 |
| [01:40] | I hear you. | 我懂的 |
| [01:41] | I don’t think you do. | 我觉得你不懂 |
| [01:42] | We just don’t want to burden our little angel | 我们只是不想让那种大男子主义的期望 |
| [01:45] | with all kinds of gender-specific expectations. | 给我们的小天使太多的负担 |
| [01:49] | Boys can do ballet; girls can play football. | 男孩可以跳芭蕾 女孩也可以打橄榄球 |
| [01:51] | Hell, the Green Bay Packers have been | 太对了 绿湾包装工队几年前 |
| [01:53] | proving that for years. | 就已经证明了这点了 |
| [01:57] | That would’ve gotten a big laugh at a sports bar. | 要是在体育酒吧的话这个笑话会让人哄堂大笑的 |
| [02:00] | Well, I say define gender roles early. | 嗯 我说要早点确定性别 |
| [02:02] | All the other girls got a pretty dress | 其它女孩14岁生日得到的都是 |
| [02:04] | and a cake when they turned 14. | 漂亮的裙子和蛋糕 |
| [02:07] | Me… | 可我 |
| [02:08] | I want to go home, Daddy! | 我想回家 爸爸 |
| [02:10] | That direction is nothing but wolves. | 那个方向只有狼 |
| [02:16] | And 40 kilometers that way is the mining town of Smithers. | 而那边40公里处是斯密舍矿山镇 |
| [02:20] | I’d take my chances with the wolves. | 要是我就选狼 |
| [02:25] | I’ll see you in three days. | 三天后见 |
| [02:28] | Well, wait, wh-what am I supposed to eat? | 等一下 我吃什么啊 |
| [02:31] | Hey, you’ve got a knife, the forest is full of animals– | 嘿 你有把刀 森林里到处是动物 |
| [02:34] | what do you want, a buffet? | 你还想要什么 自足餐吗 |
| [02:36] | Papa…! | 爸爸 |
| [02:38] | Happy birthday, son…! | 生日快乐 儿子 |
| [02:42] | Got any thoughts on that, Doc? | 对此有什么想法吗 大夫 |
| [02:45] | If you guys think I’m going near that, you’re crazy. | 如果你们觉得我会有想法的话 那么 你们疯了 |
| [02:47] | Why’d you emphasize “you’re”? | 你为什么要强调”你们” |
| [02:49] | No reason. You’re pretty. | 没有原因 你漂亮极了 |
| [02:52] | 神秘感 vs. 现实 | |
| [03:05] | By the way, do you guys want to come over tomorrow night | 顺便问一句 你们明晚想来我们那吗 |
| [03:07] | for sangria and tapas? | 我们会准备鸡尾酒和小吃 |
| [03:08] | That sounds awesome. | 听上去好极了 |
| [03:10] | Great. We’re also gonna paint the nursery. | 太好了 我们要粉刷育儿室 |
| [03:11] | Oh, and a quick update on the sangria and tapas– | 哦 快速更新下 关于鸡尾酒和小吃的那部分 |
| [03:14] | that’s cancelled. Mmm… | 取消了 嗯 |
| [03:16] | Guess what smooth son of a bitch | 猜猜哪个狡猾的混蛋 |
| [03:17] | just picked up a girl at the bar? | 刚刚在吧台泡到妞了 |
| [03:20] | Barney, you’re cheating on Nora already? | 巴尼 你这么快就已经背着诺拉偷情了吗 |
| [03:22] | No, guys, it’s me. | 不是 伙计们 是我 |
| [03:23] | Janet McIntyre. | 珍妮特·麦肯泰尔 |
| [03:25] | Struck up a conversation at the bar | 我在吧台点东西的时候 |
| [03:26] | while ordering, she guessed bread right away, | 和她开聊的 她马上猜到我要点面包 |
| [03:28] | we laughed, it was a thing, boom, going | 我们笑了 这就是火花 砰 明天 |
| [03:31] | out tomorrow night. | 晚上约会 |
| [03:32] | – So, she said yes just like that? – Just like that. | -然后呢 她就这么答应了 -就这么答应了 |
| [03:35] | There’s something wrong with her. | 她有毛病 |
| [03:36] | No, no, no, no. | 不 不 不 不 |
| [03:38] | Stop it. They always do this. | 停 他们总这么干 |
| [03:39] | Every time I go on a first date | 每次我和一个新认识的女孩约会 |
| [03:41] | they snap right into research mode. | 他们都会突然进入调查模式 |
| [03:43] | It started by accident. | 它的开始是因为一个意外 |
| [03:45] | Ooh. | 哦 |
| [03:48] | Hello? | 你好 |
| [03:50] | Ted, we did a little Internet research | 泰德 我们刚刚人肉了下 |
| [03:52] | on your Mia Plumley. | 你的米娅·普拉姆雷 |
| [03:53] | We just sent you | 我们刚刚给你发了 |
| [03:54] | a picture of her from six months ago. | 她六个月前的照片 |
| [03:56] | I don’t understand– is Mia standing behind | 我不明白 米娅是站在 |
| [03:58] | this morbidly obese wo… Oh, my God! | 那个病态的胖子后 哦 我的天啊 |
| [04:01] | They had cookies and cream. | 他们有饼干和奶油 |
| [04:04] | And what you were saying about how women feel | 你说的关于女人被迫节食时的感受的那些话 |
| [04:06] | they have to starve themselves makes so much sense. | 实在是太有道理了 |
| [04:09] | Ooh, hot dogs. Score! | 噢 有热狗 追 |
| [04:12] | After that, background checks | 从那以后 背景调查 |
| [04:14] | became standard operating procedure. | 成为了固定流程 |
| [04:17] | The date with Nadine went great. | 和娜丁的约会还不错 |
| [04:19] | Unless you guys found something. | 除非你们又人肉一些东西 |
| [04:21] | Are you sitting down? | 坐下来说 |
| [04:22] | No. | 不 |
| [04:26] | She’s wanted in Florida on crystal meth charges. | 她在弗罗里达吸毒被通缉了 |
| [04:30] | She breeds pit bulls for dog fighting. | 她养比特犬用来斗狗 |
| [04:33] | – Also, the FBI… – What’s this link? | -还有 联邦调查局 -这个链接是什么 |
| [04:35] | Oh, she also writes online movie reviews. | 哦 她还在网上写影评 |
| [04:37] | Anyway, she’s still married to a death row inmate convicted… | 而且 她现在还是一个死囚的妻子 |
| [04:40] | She gave Annie Hall two out of ten stars? | 她只给了安妮·霍尔两颗星 （安妮·霍尔是1977年的奥斯卡电影） |
| [04:43] | “Slow and overrated”? | “情节拖沓且过誉了” |
| [04:45] | Really? That’s your takeaway? | 不是吧 你就注意到了这个 |
| [04:48] | It’s the Wood Man at the height of his powers. | 这可是伍迪·艾伦的巅峰之作 |
| [04:50] | The way he broke the fourth wall by talking directly to camera? | 他对着摄像机独白的那种独特方式 |
| [04:53] | People have been ripping that off ever since. | 从那以后人们都快把这种方式用烂了 |
| [04:55] | Can you believe this guy? | 这是什么人啊 |
| [04:58] | Paula Vincenzo. | 波拉·文森索 |
| [05:00] | She’s in the bathroom. | 她在厕所 |
| [05:01] | What’s wrong with her? | 她怎么了 |
| [05:02] | Total psycho. Her Facebook wall | 疯子一个 在她的脸书上 |
| [05:04] | has a link to a site about dating inanimate objects. | 有一个与静物约会的网站链接 |
| [05:07] | For most of last year, she was engaged… | 去年的大部分时间 她都和一个 |
| [05:09] | to a mini fridge. And there’s pictures: | 迷你冰箱处在订婚状态 这里有照片 |
| [05:12] | her and the mini fridge on a hike, | 她和那个迷你冰箱的徒步旅行 |
| [05:14] | her and the mini fridge in wine country, | 她和那个迷你冰箱在葡萄园 |
| [05:16] | here’s the mini fridge meeting her parents… | 这是那个迷你冰箱在会见岳父母 |
| [05:18] | Run like the wind. | 快闪人 |
| [05:22] | So… want to go back to my place? | 呃 想到我那儿去吗 |
| [05:25] | Yeah, all right. | 嗯 好吧 |
| [05:29] | Well, thanks to us, you ran screaming from | 托我们的福，你尖叫着 |
| [05:31] | that freak show, right? | 从那个变态那里逃走了 对吧 |
| [05:32] | – Absolutely. – Cuckoo! | -完全正确 -整个一疯子啊 |
| [05:36] | So what’s the problem? | 所以说嘛 |
| [05:38] | You need us. | 你需要我们 |
| [05:39] | No, I don’t, okay? | 不，我不需要，好吧？ |
| [05:40] | I don’t want a background check. | 我不想要背景调查 |
| [05:41] | I want adventure and excitement. | 我想要冒险和刺激 |
| [05:43] | Look, if it’s a choice | 听着，如果我要在 |
| [05:45] | between mystery and history, | 神秘感和现实之间选择 |
| [05:47] | I want mystery. | 我选择神秘感 |
| [05:49] | In fact… | 事实上 |
| [05:50] | Ted, I wouldn’t… | 泰德 我觉得 |
| [05:52] | Uh, Janet. | 啊 珍妮特 |
| [05:54] | I have a theory. People don’t get the chance | 我有一个想法 人们不再拥有 |
| [05:56] | to just discover each other anymore, so… | 了解对方的机会 所以 |
| [05:58] | here’s my idea. | 我有个提议 |
| [05:59] | Before we go out tomorrow, | 在我们明天的约会之间 |
| [06:01] | let’s not do any prior Internet research on each other. | 请不要上网搜对方的信息 |
| [06:04] | It sounds like I’m hiding something horrible, doesn’t it? | 我听起来是不是像在隐瞒什么恐怖的信息 |
| [06:06] | I’m pretty sure you’re a serial killer. | 我百分之百确定你是个连环杀手 |
| [06:08] | I’m not. I’m not. | 我不是 我不是 |
| [06:09] | It’s just, you know, like, when my parents met, | 我的意思是 你看 我爸妈认识的时候 |
| [06:11] | they didn’t have the Internet–they just went out | 还没有互联网 他们只是 |
| [06:13] | on a blind date and fell in love. | 相了个亲就相爱了 |
| [06:15] | That’s nice. And they’re still together? | 很好啊 他们还在一起吗 |
| [06:17] | Right up to the divorce. | 直到他们离婚的时候都在一起 |
| [06:18] | The point is, I’d love to get to know you | 我的意思是 我很想通过你本人来了解你 |
| [06:21] | in person, not on my computer. | 而不是通过网络 |
| [06:23] | I like that. What started out | 想法不错 开始听起来 |
| [06:25] | sounding really creepy turned out really sweet. | 很诡异 后来就变得还挺有爱的 |
| [06:28] | That’s kind of my move. | 这是我的行事风格 |
| [06:31] | And she was | 她居然 |
| [06:32] | on board with the whole “no Internet” thing? | 同意了“无网约会” |
| [06:34] | She loved it. | 她觉得很有爱 |
| [06:37] | The bitch is hiding something. | 这个女人有不可告人的秘密 |
| [06:38] | The bitch is totally hiding something. | 这个女人肯定有不可告人的秘密 |
| [06:44] | Hey, Ted, before you leave– | 嘿 泰德 你走之前问一句 |
| [06:46] | is Janet McIntyre M-A-C or M-C? | 是珍妮特·麦-艾-克泰尔还是麦肯泰尔 |
| [06:49] | For the last time, I don’t want to know | 最后说一次 在和她约会之前 |
| [06:51] | anything about her before the date. | 我不想知道她的任何信息 |
| [06:52] | You might want to see this, Ted– naked pictures. | 你可能想看看这个 泰德 有裸照 |
| [06:55] | That’s not Janet. | 那不是珍妮特 |
| [06:57] | Who, now? | 那是谁？ |
| [06:59] | Seriously… | 说正经的 |
| [07:01] | if you guys respect me as a friend… | 如果你们把我当朋友 |
| [07:04] | stop looking. | 就别查了 |
| [07:10] | Well, Ted was pretty clear there, so… | 呃 既然泰德的意思很清楚了 那么 |
| [07:12] | let’s shut those laptops | 我们就关掉本本 |
| [07:13] | and go help Lily and Marshall, just like we promised. | 就如我们之前说好的 去帮马修和莉莉 |
| [07:17] | Let’s leave the laptops here and go paint that baby room. | 把本本留在这里 去粉刷婴儿室 |
| [07:22] | Without laptops. | 别带本本 |
| [07:24] | Or bring the laptops. Either way. | 带就带吧 无所谓 |
| [07:26] | This is exciting. | 激动人心的时刻 |
| [07:28] | I give you… | 给你们看看 |
| [07:30] | the color our child will grow up with. | 伴随我们宝宝长大的颜色 |
| [07:33] | Yellow, like the sun. | 黄色，像太阳一样 |
| [07:36] | Or daughter. Pun snuggle. | 也可能是女儿 近音双关 （sun-太阳与son-儿子发音相近） |
| [07:39] | Oh, God, this room’s about to get its first spit-up. | 哦 天哪 宝宝马上就要入住了 |
| [07:43] | Just open the envelope already! | 打开信封不就完事了 |
| [07:45] | Kevin, will you please tell Barney that it is | 凯文 你能不能告诉巴尼 |
| [07:47] | perfectly normal for us to want to preserve the mystery. | 想保持神秘感是很正常的 |
| [07:50] | I’m not here to analyze; I’m here to win boyfriend points. | 我不是来做分析的 我是来给自己加男友分的 |
| [07:52] | By the way, you all look great, especially Robin. | 顺便说一句 你们都很好 尤其是罗宾 |
| [07:55] | Come on, if you don’t know the gender, | 好吧 如果你们不知道孩子的性别 |
| [07:58] | you’re gonna get generic crap at the baby shower. | 在婴儿洗礼上会被鄙视的 |
| [08:00] | But if you do know the gender, | 但如果你们真的知道了性别 |
| [08:02] | you’ll get, oh,I don’t know, this! | 你们就会 |
| [08:05] | Marshall! Lights! | 马修 关灯 |
| [08:07] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [08:11] | BARNEY: When little Jack’s not turning double plays, | 当这个小男孩儿还不能双飞的时候 |
| [08:14] | he’s turning heads with this | 他会穿着这身 |
| [08:16] | home run of an outfit! | 家庭版本垒打的帅气衣服 |
| [08:18] | And if it’s a little girl… | 但如果是一个小女孩儿 |
| [08:20] | This royal ensemble may leave you speechless, | 这身皇家公主一样的打扮会让你无话可说的 |
| [08:23] | but it’s sure to make little Sally say, | 而我们的小公主一定会说 |
| [08:25] | “I wuv you, Mommy, and I wuv my dress, | 我奈你 妈妈 我奈我的衣服 |
| [08:28] | and I would love to see you in the shower.” | 我会很乐意看到你洗澡的样子的 |
| [08:32] | Sorry, I kind of fell out of character in that last part. | 不好意思 上句话有点脱离这个角色 |
| [08:34] | But if you don’t know the gender… | 但如果你们不知道它的性别 |
| [08:37] | Little Fran is sure to be the pariah of the playground | 我们的小朋友就只能像一个在操场上被遗弃的小孩子一样 |
| [08:41] | in this hermaphroditic burlap sack. | 穿着这身像雌雄同体一样的麻布衣了 |
| [08:46] | Marshall! Lights! | 马修 开灯 |
| [08:50] | Barney, | 巴尼 |
| [08:51] | you don’t really care abo’. | 你一点也不在乎我们孩子的性别 |
| [08:54] | No. You just | 你只是不能 |
| [08:54] | can’t stand | 忍受 |
| [08:55] | not knowing something. | 你不知道的一些事情 |
| [08:57] | That’s ridiculous! | 这太荒唐了 |
| [09:00] | Marshall, will you… | 马修你能 |
| [09:01] | will you hold these for a second? | 帮我拿着这些东西一小会儿么 |
| [09:02] | Yeah, sure. Why? | 当然你要干什么 |
| [09:03] | Because I gots to know! | 我一定要知道 |
| [09:05] | Oh, Barney, no!Help! Get him off of me! | 哦 巴尼 帮我把他推开 |
| [09:07] | Everybody hold it Hold it! | 所有人都hold住 |
| [09:10] | I found Janet McIntyre,who’s been widowed three times. | 我发现珍妮特·麦肯泰尔当过三次寡妇 |
| [09:13] | She’s obviously killing her husbands! | 很显然她杀了她的老公们 |
| [09:15] | Oh, my God! | 我勒个去 |
| [09:17] | They’re six minutes into the date. | 他们约会已经六分钟了 |
| [09:19] | Ted’s probably already told her that he loves her! | 泰德可能已经对她说我爱你了 |
| [09:21] | We’ve got to get down there! | 我们必须赶到那儿去 |
| [09:25] | Nobody’s going anywhere! | 谁都不准走 |
| [09:27] | Why?! | 为什么 |
| [09:28] | Kids, at that moment, | 孩子们 就在那会儿 |
| [09:29] | Kevin thought backto his earlier rule… | 凯文想起了之前他定下的规矩 |
| [09:31] | This real therapist won’t risk | 我这个真正的心理医生 |
| [09:34] | upsetting his wonderful new girlfriend | 不会去冒着惹火他完美的女朋友的风险 |
| [09:36] | by analyzing her wonderful friends. | 去分析她这些完美的朋友们 |
| [09:38] | …and threw it out the window. | 凯文把这些规矩统统抛弃了 |
| [09:40] | You’re all the most codependent, incestuous, | 你们是我见过的最最相互依赖的乱七八糟的 |
| [09:42] | controlling group of people I’ve ever met! | 喜欢控制别人的一群人了 |
| [09:46] | By the way, you all look great, especially Robin. | 顺便说一句 你们都很不错 尤其是罗宾 |
| [09:49] | Oh, mm-mm. | 哦 别 |
| [09:53] | This is so great. | 这真的很棒 |
| [09:56] | Right? See, if we’d researched each other, | 对吧 如果我们事先调查了对方 |
| [09:58] | we’d both be secretly steering the conversation | 我们都会偷偷的把对话引向 |
| [10:00] | one way or the other. | 一个又另一个方向 |
| [10:01] | But this is more exciting, right? | 但像我们这样却更刺激不是么 |
| [10:02] | Way more exciting. | 老刺激了 |
| [10:04] | I mean, we can talk about anything we want. | 这样我们就可以谈论任何我们想说的话题了 |
| [10:06] | Anything. | 任何话题 |
| [10:11] | So… | 所以 |
| [10:13] | …how was the traffic getting here? | 来的路上路况怎么样啊 |
| [10:16] | You picked me up at my apartment. | 你把我从公寓接来的 |
| [10:19] | I certainly did. | 我确实这样做了 |
| [10:21] | Oh, my God, | 老天啊 |
| [10:23] | I’ve lost the ability to talk to girls without the Internet. | 没有了网络我就失去了和女人交流的能力了 |
| [10:25] | My brain is completely shutting down. | 我的大脑彻底短路了 |
| [10:28] | So, are you folks gonna have dinner or just drinks? | 请问两位是准备吃饭还是只喝东西 |
| [10:32] | I-I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
| [10:34] | What the hell was that, Kevin? | 你说的到底是什么鬼东西 凯文 |
| [10:37] | We’re all crazy just because | 我们都是一群疯子仅仅因为 |
| [10:38] | I’m looking up some stuff on the Internet, | 我上网找了些东西 |
| [10:40] | and Barney wants to know the baby’s gender? | 而巴尼希望知道那个孩子的性别么 |
| [10:42] | Well,to be honest, | 这个 老实说 |
| [10:44] | I noticed some other disturbing… | 我注意到了另外一些让人不安的东西 |
| [10:47] | Never mind. | 算了 |
| [10:49] | It’s nothing. I’m sorry. | 当我没说 对不起 |
| [10:50] | I gots to know! | 我必须知道 |
| [10:52] | Okay, last night alone… | 好吧 昨天晚上 |
| [10:54] | When-When are you coming back? | 你什么时候回来 |
| [10:57] | Because I miss you, silly! | 因为我想你了 小傻瓜 |
| [11:02] | Wait, who’s he talking to? | 等下 你在和谁说话 |
| [11:03] | Shh, I’ll be back soon. | 嘘 我马上就回来 |
| [11:05] | Yeah, you want me to bring you a pretzel? | 嗯 你想让我帮你带份椒盐脆饼么 |
| [11:07] | separation anxiety | 分离焦虑症 |
| [11:09] | Ted’s texting me from the bathroom. | 泰德在洗手间给我发短信 |
| [11:13] | Oh. | 哦 |
| [11:15] | I don’t get it. | 我表示我不明真相啊 |
| [11:16] | – It’s just a “C” with an apostrophe.- Oh. | -只是发了一个带撇号的C啊 – 哦 |
| [11:18] | Oh, yeah. | 是啊 |
| [11:19] | Sometimes when one of us is on the can, | 当有的时候我们中的一个在大号 |
| [11:22] | we’ll, uh, sneak a peek and then text each other, | 我们会偷偷看一眼然后发信息给别人 |
| [11:24] | you know. | 你懂的 |
| [11:26] | Symbols to describe what your bowel movement looks like? | 用符号来描绘你拉的一坨的样子 |
| [11:32] | This morning,I took an ampersand. | 今天早上我拉了一坨像 & 的东西 |
| [11:35] | Last summer,I dropped a deuce | 去年夏天我拉了个两点 |
| [11:37] | that actually looked like the number two! | 看上去确实就像数字2 |
| [11:39] | inapporopriate social behavior | 不合时宜的社会行为举止 |
| [11:42] | When you worked late Wednesday, | 你上个礼拜三加班的时候 |
| [11:45] | I… I got lonely and… | 我感到很寂寞 |
| [11:49] | I watched Survivor without you. | 所以我就一个人偷偷看了幸存者 |
| [11:53] | Survivor guilt | 幸存者的内疚感 |
| [11:55] | Practically the only unhealthy behavior I didn’t see | 我唯一没能看到的你们不健康的行为 |
| [11:57] | from you people was physical violence. | 就是肢体暴力 |
| [12:06] | Yeah. | 耶 |
| [12:08] | At least we don’t do that. | 至少 我们最近没那样做 |
| [12:10] | And to top it off, | 其中最极端的就是 |
| [12:12] | all the meddling in Ted’s love life, | 你们不仅干涉泰德恋爱的事情 |
| [12:14] | 更不用说莉莉怀孕的事了 | |
| [12:15] | It all strikes me as just deeply dysfunctional. | 这些让我感觉自己被你们刺激的都有点不正常了 |
| [12:19] | So what you’re saying is,we’re fine? | 所以综上所述 我们都很正常 是么 |
| [12:21] | denial | 否认 |
| [12:24] | So, while this font is often | 虽然这些字体经常 |
| [12:27] | mistaken for Helvetica, | 错误的被认为是黑体 |
| [12:29] | the fact is… | 事实上 |
| [12:33] | it’s Helvetica Bold. | 这些是黑粗体 |
| [12:36] | I can actually hear the sound | 我都能确切的听到 |
| [12:38] | of her vagina being boarded up. | 她的阴道关上门的声音 |
| [12:42] | I got to be honest, Janet. | 坦诚点说 珍妮特 |
| [12:44] | First of all..this is Times New Roman. | 首先 这是新罗马字体 |
| [12:48] | Second, I’m having trouble | 其次 我很纠结 |
| [12:49] | coming up with things to talk about. | 要怎么找话题 |
| [12:51] | You? I’m sitting here thinking, | 我也一直在想 |
| [12:53] | “Damn it, I wish I had something as good as that font thing. | 擦 我真希望我也能找出想字体这类一样好的话题 |
| [12:57] | That’s gold.” | 那真是个不错的话题 |
| [12:58] | Guys, I’m so sorry I said anything. | 伙计们 我很抱歉说了那些话 |
| [13:00] | Um, you basically called my friends mentally ill. | 你基本上把我的朋友们当成了精神病 |
| [13:04] | Yeah, you think some lame apology will fix that? | 而你却还想仅仅用几句抱歉来化解么 |
| [13:06] | What if I just paint the rest of the room by myself? | 那我一个人粉刷这个屋子怎么样 |
| [13:09] | ROBIN, LILY & MARSHALL:Apology accepted. | 接受你的道歉 |
| [13:11] | Okay, let’s do this. | 好的 我们干脆这样吧 |
| [13:13] | Let-Let’s find out each other’s likes and dislikes. | 来找找彼此的好恶吧 |
| [13:14] | Start with something totally random. | 就随便找个东西开头吧 |
| [13:15] | Like, um, oh, I don’t know. | 比如 我不知道怎么说 |
| [13:17] | Are you a fan of–I don’t know– | 你是 怎么说呢 |
| [13:20] | Annie Hall? | 安妮·霍尔的粉丝么 |
| [13:22] | I’m guessing that’s not random at all, and you use that movie | 我想这绝不是个随便的话题 你想用这部电影 |
| [13:25] | to test whether a girl is cool? | 来测试我是不是一个很酷的女孩儿 |
| [13:27] | No, it’s-it’s the first movie that popped into… | 不不不 这只是一部第一时间跃入我脑海的电影 |
| [13:28] | -I love Annie Hall. -Oh, thank God you’re cool. | -我喜欢安妮·霍尔 -哦 感谢上帝 你很酷 |
| [13:30] | But just as things started | 但就像一切刚开始那样 |
| [13:32] | to go well with Janet McIntyre… | 和珍妮特·麦肯泰尔相处的开始 |
| [13:34] | Whoa. I just found Janet McIntyre. | 哇哦 我找到了关于珍妮特·麦肯泰尔的东西 |
| [13:36] | The Janet McIntyre. | 是传说中的珍妮特·麦肯泰尔 |
| [13:45] | Sweet… mother… of God! | 我 勒 个 去 |
| [13:55] | Uh, well, I got to run to the restroom. | 我要去下洗手间了 |
| [13:56] | No internet, Mister. | 别上网啊 亲 |
| [13:59] | If you find out my deep, dark secret, I’ll have to kill you. | 如果你发现我那些阴暗的秘密 我会宰了你的 |
| [14:00] | It’s just my friends checking up on me. | 这只是我的朋友在问我约会怎么样 |
| [14:02] | I’ll politely let them know we’re having a lovely time. | 我会很礼貌的告诉他们我享受了一段美好的时光 |
| [14:04] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [14:07] | Ted says, “I’m not clicking on the link, so leave me alone.” | 泰德说 我不会点击链接的 别烦我 |
| [14:09] | And then either texted me a bunch of symbols for profanity, | 然后又给我发了一堆表示脏话的符号 |
| [14:12] | or got food poisoning | 或者是表示拉肚子的符号 |
| [14:13] | and dropped the weirdest deuce of all time. | 然后用一直以来最诡异的两点来结尾 |
| [14:15] | You guys have to see this. | 你们真的应该看看这些 |
| [14:17] | No. We’re with Ted on this. | 不 我们现在和泰德站在一边 |
| [14:19] | We don’t want to find out about Janet, | 我们不想知道珍妮特是什么人 |
| [14:21] | just like we don’t want to find out about the baby. | 就好像我们不想知道孩子的性别一样 |
| [14:24] | Because we like mystery, | 因为我们喜欢神秘感 |
| [14:25] | whether it’s the hairy majesty of Bigfoot, | 不管是威严而毛茸茸的野人 |
| [14:27] | or the bloodsucking ferocity of the Chupacabra, | 还是卓柏卡布拉凶猛的吸血鬼 |
| [14:30] | or the gender of our little miracle. | 还是莉莉肚子里这个奇迹一般的生命的性别 |
| [14:32] | Thanks for putting those together | 谢谢你啊 |
| [14:33] | in the same sentence, sweetie. | 把这些归为一类 |
| [14:35] | Mm. | 额 |
| [14:36] | Look, if you guys don’t want to know, how about this? | 这样吧如果你们不想知道那这样 |
| [14:39] | Let me look,and I won’t tell you. | 让我看看我不会告诉你们的 |
| [14:41] | -Absolutely not. -Fine. | -绝对不行 -可以 |
| [14:44] | Baby, if it will shut him up, | 亲爱的 如果这样能把他的嘴堵上 |
| [14:45] | what’s the harm? | 又有什么关系呢 |
| [14:48] | Can I…? | 我可以么 |
| [14:55] | This may have been a mistake. | 我觉得我犯了个错误 |
| [14:57] | Boy! | 男孩 |
| [14:59] | Do I like babies! | 我喜欢孩子吗 |
| [15:01] | Girl! | 女 |
| [15:03] | …friend, | 朋友 |
| [15:04] | your hair looks fantastic! | 你的头发看上去真不错 |
| [15:06] | Twins! | 双胞胎 |
| [15:08] | was the feel-good movie of 1988. | 是1988年的一部超好的电影 |
| [15:10] | Okay, Barney, hey, it doesn’t matter what you guys say. | 好了 巴尼 我们不会在乎你说什么的 |
| [15:13] | We’re not gonna cave. | 我们不会感兴趣的 |
| [15:14] | Yes, we are! | 不 我们想知道 |
| [15:15] | Oh, just open your eyes. | 哦 睁开眼睛看看 |
| [15:17] | This gender-neutral yellow is horrible! | 这种中性的黄色看上去糟透了 |
| [15:20] | We’re clearly gonna paint over the whole thing! | 我们肯定要重新粉刷的 |
| [15:22] | That’s what you want to hear. | 这就是你想听的 |
| [15:24] | I gots to know! | 老娘我一定要知道 |
| [15:26] | Yeah. | 耶 |
| [15:27] | “It’s a…” | 是一个 |
| [15:30] | It’s a… | 是个 |
| [15:32] | Where is the rest of the card? | 剩下的卡片去哪里了 |
| [15:33] | I ripped it in half. | 我把它撕成两半了 |
| [15:35] | I knew you’d be desperate to see it, | 我知道你极其渴望的想看一看 |
| [15:37] | and I’ll give it to you. | 当然我会把它给你的 |
| [15:38] | All you have to do is admit that mystery is stupid | 你只需要读一读珍妮特·麦肯泰尔的事情 |
| [15:41] | by reading about Janet McIntyre. | 然后承认神秘感是愚蠢的 |
| [15:45] | This is in no way emotional extortion. | 这一点都不是感情勒索 |
| [15:47] | You guys are great. | 你们要不要这么有才 |
| [15:48] | Fine, we’ll look at your laptop. | 好吧 让我们来看看你本本 |
| [15:51] | Sweet… | 我 |
| [15:54] | mother… of God. | 勒 个 去 |
| [15:58] | I can’t really see the computer screen. | 我没看到电脑屏幕 |
| [16:00] | It just went down the wrong pipe. | 只是被呛到了 |
| [16:04] | Whoa. | [莉莉和我都坚决认为你得看看这个关于珍妮特·麦肯泰尔的链接] 哇 |
| [16:06] | If Lily and Marshall want me to click on it, | 要是莉莉和马修要我看看 |
| [16:09] | maybe Janet really does have a deep, dark secret. | 那估计珍妮特·麦肯泰尔真是有什么不为人知的阴暗面了 |
| [16:12] | What’s going on? | 肿么了 |
| [16:14] | I’m a prostitute. | 我是个妓女 |
| [16:15] | You didn’t think I was | 你该不会以为我 |
| [16:16] | actually into you, did you? | 真的是看上你了吧 |
| [16:17] | Sort of. | 有点 |
| [16:20] | Get it together, Mosby. | 淡定点 莫斯比 |
| [16:25] | Oh. | 噢 |
| [16:28] | You don’t buy beer,you rent it. | 这酒喝了又得尿回去哈 |
| [16:30] | Am I right? | 对吧 |
| [16:31] | This is the men’s room. | 这可是男厕所 |
| [16:33] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [16:34] | I’m a dude. | 我是男人啊 |
| [16:45] | Listen, there’s something you should know. | 听着，有些事情你应该知道 |
| [16:48] | I lied. | 我撒谎了 |
| [16:50] | I only kind of liked Annie Hall. | 我只对安妮·霍尔这电影只有一点点喜欢 |
| [16:56] | I gots to know! | 我得看看 |
| [17:03] | Sweet… | 我 |
| [17:05] | mother… of God. | 勒 个 去 |
| [17:19] | Hey. | 嘿 |
| [17:24] | Ted, are you okay? You look freaked out. | 泰德 你还好吧 你看起来有点被吓到了 |
| [17:26] | I’m not freaked out. | 我哪有 |
| [17:29] | I was freaked out. Why? | 我被吓到了 为啥呢 |
| [17:31] | ‘Cause I had just discovered that Janet McIntyre was… | 因为我刚发现了珍妮特·麦肯泰尔 |
| [17:34] | amazing! | 超级赞 |
| [17:38] | Janet McIntyre:Princeton Grad at Age Fifteen | 珍妮特·麦肯泰尔:15岁的普林斯顿大学毕业生 |
| [17:41] | Princeton prodigy Janet McIntyre donates kidney to complete stranger | 普林斯顿神童珍妮特·麦肯泰尔向陌生人捐肾 |
| [17:45] | Kidney donor climbs Everest | 肾脏捐献者登上珠穆朗玛峰 |
| [17:48] | Youngest woman to climb everest saves baby from creek | 最年轻的珠穆朗玛峰登峰者从河里救了一个孩子 |
| [17:51] | Baby-saving Genius inherits billion dollar McIntyre Fortune | 挽救了孩子的天才少女继承了麦肯泰尔家族的亿万财富 |
| [17:56] | I just want someone to cuddle up with & watch Annie Hall | 我想找个人抱着一起看安妮·霍尔 |
| [17:58] | And just like that, the wall went up. | 然后 那堵信息墙出现了 |
| [18:02] | Okay, he looked at Janet McIntyre’s | 好吧 他看到了珍妮特·麦肯泰尔的 |
| [18:04] | Internet extravaganza. | 网上超强事迹 |
| [18:06] | Here’s the other half of the card. | 这是卡片的另一半 |
| [18:14] | Wait. Should we do this? I… | 等等 我们应该这样做吗 |
| [18:16] | I don’t know. I mean, my soul says no, | 我不知道 我的意思是 我内心深处有个声音说 不应该 |
| [18:18] | but these hideous yellow walls scream yes. | 但是这些丑陋的黄色墙却尖叫着说 应该 |
| [18:21] | Should I just stop, or…? | 那我是停下来 还是 |
| [18:23] | Sweet mother of God! | 我勒个去 |
| [18:26] | A dog in Ottawa ran all the way to Saskatoon! | 一只狗从渥太华跑到了萨斯卡通 |
| [18:30] | What? | 怎么 |
| [18:31] | We figured out the Janet thing. | 我们已经把珍妮特·麦肯泰尔人肉了个底朝天了 |
| [18:33] | I’m catching up on Canada. | 我得看看加拿大的新闻啊 |
| [18:38] | You’re with me on this, right? | 你是赞同我这样做的吧 |
| [18:39] | Otherwise, I can go down,and I can get the card. | 不然的话 我得下去把纸条捡回来 |
| [18:42] | Absolutely. | 绝对赞同 |
| [18:43] | Oh, thank you. | 噢 谢谢 |
| [18:47] | And so the gender remained a secret, | 所以 孩子的性别依然是一个迷 |
| [18:49] | but Janet McIntyre’s life no longer was. | 但是 珍妮特·麦肯泰尔的生活却不再是了 |
| [18:53] | There was only one problem. | 只有一个问题 |
| [18:55] | Ted, what’s going on? | 泰德 怎么了 |
| [18:56] | Nothing. | 没事 |
| [18:59] | Did I mention that I’m the youngest architect | 我有没有跟你说过我是纽约建筑史上 |
| [19:01] | in New York historyto have a skyscraper built? | 最年轻的摩天大楼的建筑师 |
| [19:03] | Oh.So, I’m not quite | 噢 所以 我也没有你想像的那么 |
| [19:05] | as far beneath you as you might think. | 的默默无闻啦 |
| [19:08] | Why would I think that? | 为什么我要那样想 |
| [19:10] | No reason, but this one time in sixth grade, | 没啥原因 但是我六年级时 |
| [19:12] | I saw a raccoon trapped in a gutter, and I told my dad, | 我见到一只浣熊被困在了排水沟里 然后我告诉我爸爸 |
| [19:15] | and the firemen came and got it out, | 后来 消防员们来把它救出来了 |
| [19:17] | so it’s not like I pulled a baby from a creek or anything, | 虽然这不像我把孩子从河里救出来或别的事那么伟大 |
| [19:20] | but at least I didn’t ignore it | 至少 我没有因事小而不为之 |
| [19:21] | and keep lighting bugs on fire with my magnifying glass. | 而且我还用放大镜把萤火虫烧着了 |
| [19:24] | We had one promise, and you broke it. | 我们有过约定的 但是你打破了 |
| [19:26] | What are you talking about? | 你在说什么啊 |
| [19:28] | You looked me up, and now you find me intimidating. | 你查了我 结果现在你发现我很可怕了 |
| [19:30] | Why-Why would I find you intimidating, okay? | 为什么我要觉得你很可怕呢 |
| [19:32] | It’s not like I donated a kidney, | 这又不像我捐了个肾 |
| [19:35] | but I donated blood once, | 但我曾经献过血 |
| [19:36] | although I wound up fainting, | 尽管我紧张得昏过去了 |
| [19:37] | and they had to put it all back in. | 然后他们不得不把血又输回去了 |
| [19:39] | I was so excited about this. | 这些事真是让我超激动 |
| [19:41] | But now you’re just a blubbering idiot like the rest of them. | 但现在你和其他人一样就像个又哭又闹的蠢蛋 |
| [19:45] | No, I ain’t! | 我不是 |
| [19:46] | I mean, no, I never do that thing you says. | 我是说 我哪里又哭又闹了 |
| [19:50] | What I mean is, you gooder than me | 我的意思是 你比我优秀太多 |
| [19:52] | no make difference! | 是没什么关系的 |
| [19:55] | And that’s that. | 就那样了 |
| [19:58] | I wish to God I’d never clicked on that link. | 我真希望我没去点那个网页 |
| [20:00] | I’m sorry, Ted. | 真是遗憾 泰德 |
| [20:01] | We were just trying to help. | 我们只是想帮帮忙 |
| [20:03] | I said it was meddling and manipulative, | 我觉得的那是咸吃萝卜淡操心 |
| [20:06] | but Kevin insisted we butt in. | 但是凯文非要我们插手 |
| [20:09] | pathological liar | 病态的惯性骗子 |
| [20:11] | No, it’s my fault. | 不 是我的错 |
| [20:13] | I never should have looked. | 我不应该看的 |
| [20:14] | In the battle of mystery versus history, | 在这场神秘感和现实大对抗中 |
| [20:17] | it’s best not to know. | 还是不要知道的比较好 |
| [20:19] | Lily Pad | 莉莉派 |
| [20:22] | What? | 怎么 |
| [20:23] | We’re having a boy. | 我们有个男宝宝了 |
| [20:27] | We’re having a boy. | 我们有个男宝宝啦 |
| [20:29] | We’re having a boy! You’re having a boy! | 我们有个男宝宝啦 你有个男宝宝了 |
| [20:32] | We’re having a boy. | 我们有个男宝宝了 |
| [20:35] | I’ll go buy some blue paint. | 我去买些蓝色的油漆 |
| [20:48] | It needs sharpening. | 刀得磨一磨了 |
| [20:50] | You see? I told you three days would go by in no time. | 你看到了吧 我三天前就说 你会很快回来的 |
| [20:54] | Phineas, take us up! | 菲利斯 起飞吧 |
| [20:55] | Well, in case you were wondering, | 要是你想问我 |
| [20:57] | it rained the entire time I was in the Caribbean. | 我在加勒比海的时候是不是一直在下雨 |
| [20:59] | Thank you for asking. | 那么 谢谢你的关心 |
| [21:03] | == sync, corrected by elderman == |