| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:00] | Kids, in the spring of 2012, | 孩子们 2012年的春天 |
| [00:02] | your Uncle Barney went off the grid for a couple weeks. | 你们巴尼叔叔突然失联了好几周 |
| [00:04] | So I was relieved when I got a text | 所以等他发短信让我去他家时 |
| [00:06] | asking me to come over to his place. | 我松了一口气 |
| [00:08] | Glad to hear from you, buddy. | 很高兴收到你短信 兄弟 |
| [00:09] | I was worried something bad happened… | 我还挺担心你是不是遭遇… |
| [00:13] | …to you. | 不测了 |
| [00:14] | Welcome, brother. | 欢迎你 我的兄弟 |
| [00:16] | What is this? | 这是干嘛 |
| [00:17] | Ted Evelyn Mosby, | 泰德·艾弗琳·莫斯比 |
| [00:20] | you are about to be sworn to secrecy | 你将宣誓替我守密 |
| [00:22] | through the sacred vows of a Bro Oath, | 要以神圣兄弟的誓言起誓 |
| [00:25] | or “Broath.” | 或简称”兄言” |
| [00:28] | Please, put on your “Brobe.” | 请穿上你的”兄袍” |
| [00:31] | Yeah, I’m not putting on the “Brobe.” | 我才不要穿这破”兄袍” |
| [00:34] | Ted, just… | 泰德 你就… |
| [00:35] | just… Okay? | 配合点 可以吗 |
| [00:38] | * Broooo… * | * 兄…* |
| [00:41] | Wait, are they chanting “Bro”?”? | 等等 这格列高利圣咏是在吟唱”兄”字吗 |
| [00:41] | 格列高利圣咏 是罗马天主教做弥撒时所用的音乐 | |
| [00:44] | * Bro… * | * 兄… * |
| [00:45] | I got some local monks to record this. | 我找了些当地的僧人给我录的 |
| [00:47] | Yeah! I got a monk guy. | 没错 我佛教界也有人 |
| [00:49] | Cool, right? | 厉害吧 |
| [00:50] | It actually is, yeah. | 是蛮厉害的 |
| [00:51] | I’ll burn it for you. | 我刻张碟给你 |
| [00:52] | Just remind me after The Broath. | “兄言”仪式结束后提醒我就行 |
| [00:54] | Anyway, Ted Evelyn Mosby, | 言归正传 泰德·艾弗琳·莫斯比 |
| [00:57] | this ritual forever binds you to keep a solemn secret… | 宣誓仪式后 你就要永远为我保守秘密 |
| [01:02] | Which is? | 什么秘密 |
| [01:03] | I really like this Quinn girl! | 我真的好喜欢昆茵哦 |
| [01:05] | We’ve been spending tons of time together, | 我们最近总是形影不离 |
| [01:07] | and I want the gang to meet her. | 我好想带她见见大伙 |
| [01:08] | but I’m afraid they’re gonna disapprove because, | 不过我又怕其他人会反对 原因… |
| [01:10] | well, you know. | 你懂的 |
| [01:12] | I did know. You see, | 我确实懂 |
| [01:14] | Quinn was a stripper… | 昆茵是个脱衣舞娘 |
| [01:16] | who had swindled Barney out of quite a bit of cash. | 还坑过巴尼不少钱 |
| [01:19] | We’re inviting everyone to dinner at Quinn’s, | 我们打算请大伙来昆茵家吃饭 |
| [01:20] | and I want them to keep an open mind, | 我不想大家对她有成见 |
| [01:22] | which brings us to The Broath. | 所以才需要你以”兄言”的名义起誓 |
| [01:24] | Place your hand on The Bro Code. | 把你的手放在《兄弟法典》上 |
| [01:27] | Yeah, yeah, yeah… | 好 好 随便 |
| [01:29] | Repeat after me. | 随我复诵 |
| [01:30] | I, Ted Evelyn Mosby… | 我 泰德·”艾弗琳”·莫斯比 |
| [01:34] | “I, Ted “Why Did I Ever Tell You My Middle Name” Mosby…” | 我 泰德·”跟你说我中间名真蠢”·莫斯比 |
| [01:39] | …solemnly swear not to tell our friends | 慎重地起誓 不会给大伙们泄露半句 |
| [01:41] | that Quinn is a stripper. | 昆茵是个脱衣舞娘的事 |
| [01:42] | “…solemnly swear not to tell our friends | 慎重地起誓 不会给大伙们泄露半句 |
| [01:44] | that Quinn is a stripper” Who duped you out of lots of money. | 昆茵是个脱衣舞娘 还坑了你不少钱的事 |
| [01:48] | You’re only supposed to repeat after me. | 你复诵我说的就行了 |
| [01:49] | “You’re only supposed to repeat after me.” | 你复诵我说的就行了 |
| [01:51] | – Stop it. – Stop it. | -别闹了 -别闹了 |
| [01:52] | Silence! | 肃静 |
| [01:54] | Look, I know that things started out sketchy with me and Quinn, | 我知道我和昆茵一开始不是很顺遂 |
| [01:58] | but I really like her, so please. | 但我真的很喜欢她 就行行好吧 |
| [02:00] | Do you, | 你 |
| [02:01] | Ted Middle-Name-Omitted Mosby, | 泰德·中名省略·莫斯比 |
| [02:05] | swear to uphold this Broath? | 愿意发誓永远遵守”兄言”吗 |
| [02:09] | I do. | 我愿意 |
| [02:11] | Barney’s dating a stripper who’s gonna steal all his money! | 巴尼跟一个会把他钱骗光光的脱衣舞娘好上了 |
| [02:23] | 老爸老妈浪漫史 | |
| [02:27] | Okay, time to go to Quinn’s. Now remember, | 好了 该昆茵家吃饭啦 记住 |
| [02:29] | I told you nothing, okay? | 我什么都没说过 知道吗 |
| [02:30] | Barney really wants us all to like her. | 巴尼真的很希望我们都喜欢她 |
| [02:32] | But how can we? | 怎么可能呀 |
| [02:33] | Quinn totally duped Barney, and he couldn’t even see it. | 巴尼被人玩弄于股掌之间 还浑然不觉 |
| [02:36] | Well, apparently, the sex is mind-blowing. | 显然 昆茵的床技让巴尼忘却了一切 |
| [02:39] | Ha, I’ve been there. Yeah. | 我也有过这种经历 没错 |
| [02:42] | I was once with this chick who answered the door | 某个妞开门时 |
| [02:44] | wearing nothing but, uh, whipped cream, a dog collar | 上身赤裸 涂满奶油 脖戴狗链 |
| [02:47] | and a hot pink thong. | 粉红丁字绕股沟 |
| [02:49] | Marshall, you can’t tell sex stories about “This chick,” | 马修 你不能用”某个妞”来说你的性事 |
| [02:52] | because everyone knows it’s me. | 因为大家都知道那个妞是我 |
| [02:54] | I’m the only woman you’ve ever been with. | 你这辈子只跟我一个女人爽过 |
| [02:56] | It’s not fair, the guys are always telling their sex stories | 这不公平 他们都能显摆跟妞的性事 |
| [02:59] | and I can top every one of them. | 我有更好的却不能说 |
| [03:00] | Baby, you’re like 20 slutty chicks all rolled into one. | 宝贝 二十个性感风骚妞才荟萃成一个风情万种的你 |
| [03:04] | Sweet talk is not going to change my mind. | 说再多的甜言蜜语也没用 |
| [03:07] | Let’s focus. | 别再岔题 |
| [03:08] | Tonight, we want to make sure | 今晚 我们得看清 |
| [03:10] | that Quinn is not out to scam Barney. | 昆茵到底是不是在骗巴尼的钱 |
| [03:12] | So, when we walk back through that door three hours from now, | 所以 当三个小时后重回这里时 |
| [03:15] | we should all be able to answer one simple question: | 我们心中都得有个答案 |
| [03:19] | 三小时后 | |
| [03:20] | Do we trust this girl? | 这女人我们信不信得过 |
| [03:23] | Well, for one thing, | 先提一点 |
| [03:24] | she seems kind of controlling. | 她控制欲有点儿强 |
| [03:27] | Is it okay if I put out the hummus, bunny face? | 要端鹰嘴豆泥出来吗 兔兔宝贝 |
| [03:29] | No, save it for dessert. | 不许 留着当甜点 |
| [03:30] | Idiot. | 白痴 |
| [03:36] | More red wine, beauty-swan? | 再来点红酒吗 天鹅美妞 |
| [03:38] | She drinks a lot. | 她酒量超好 |
| [03:41] | – Is it okay if I go pee, sugar lamb? – No! | -我可以去尿尿吗 甜心小绵羊 -不准 |
| [03:44] | You just went three hours ago. | 你不是三个小时前刚去尿过吗 |
| [03:46] | You’re right, baby bear! | 你说得对 熊宝宝 |
| [03:52] | Yes, so Barney’s whipped; | 那又如何 就算巴尼是妻管严 |
| [03:53] | it doesn’t mean that Quinn is a con artist. | 也不代表昆茵就是个骗子啊 |
| [03:55] | Well, maybe we could’ve gotten a better read on her | 要不是因为某两个人一直在岔题 |
| [03:58] | if two people hadn’t gone off topic. | 或许我们会更多机会分析她了 |
| [04:01] | By the way, Quinn, your apartment is amazing. | 顺带一提 昆茵 你这公寓真不错 |
| [04:04] | Oh, yeah, it’s beautiful. | 是啊 真漂亮 |
| [04:05] | I’m actually moving out soon. | 其实我快要搬了 |
| [04:07] | If you know anyone looking for a sublet, | 你们有认识人想租房吗 |
| [04:09] | this place is rent-controlled. | 这里有租金管制制度 |
| [04:10] | You would not believe what I pay. | 价钱划算到让你们难以置信 |
| [04:12] | Kids, things have been tense | 孩子们 那段时间 |
| [04:13] | between Robin and I for weeks. | 我和罗宾的关系变得紧张 |
| [04:15] | Ever since she moved out, | 她搬走后 |
| [04:17] | and I gave the apartment to Marshall and Lily, | 我把公寓让给了马修和莉莉 |
| [04:20] | I’d been crashing in university housing. | 然后自己跑去住大学宿舍 |
| [04:22] | It’s 10 o’clock, damn it. | 都晚上十点了 我靠 |
| [04:24] | Ned, Martin and Millie, | 耐德 马丁和米莉 |
| [04:26] | people are trying to sleep! | 有人想好好睡觉呢 |
| [04:27] | Hey, you were young like us once, right? | 你年轻时不也这样吗 |
| [04:30] | I was never like you guys. | 我年轻时 才不是你们这样 |
| [04:35] | And Robin was staying with her coworker, Patrice. | 罗宾则是去她同事帕拉里斯家住 |
| [04:37] | You seem so down today, Robin. | 你今天心情好像不太好啊 罗宾 |
| [04:39] | I made you cookies. | 我烤了点饼干哦 |
| [04:40] | Damn it, Patrice, stop smothering me! | 我靠 帕拉里斯 你想烦死我呀 |
| [04:44] | So, when Quinn said her apartment was available… | 因此 当昆茵说出她的公寓待租的时候… |
| [04:48] | It’s mine! It’s mine! It’s mine! | 我的 我的 我的 |
| [04:50] | Dibs! Dibs! Dibs! | 我先 我先 我先 |
| [04:51] | We got off topic? What about Marshall? | 岔题的是我们吗 那马修算什么 |
| [04:54] | Hey, I was just going along with | 我只是附和那个 |
| [04:56] | whoever suggested we play that game. | 提议要玩游戏的人而已 |
| [04:58] | Hey, let’s play a game! | 大伙们 来玩个游戏吧 |
| [04:59] | Uh, craziest sex-in-public story; I’ll start. | 来说说”公共场合最刺激的性爱经历” 我先说 |
| [05:02] | I was once with this chick | 曾经有某个妞 |
| [05:04] | who loved to get freaky in elevators. | 她爱在电梯里”性”奋 |
| [05:06] | Doors would close; suddenly, | 门一关上 她会突然间 |
| [05:08] | she’s panting on all fours like a dog in heat. | 四脚着地喘粗气 像只发情的母狗 |
| [05:14] | Marshall, stop. | 马修 别说了 |
| [05:15] | I never said that it was you. | 我可没说过那人就是你 |
| [05:17] | Okay, so anyway, last August, | 好吧 不管怎样 去年八月 |
| [05:18] | I go bareback with this same slut. | 我和这个小荡妇做爱时没戴套 |
| [05:21] | She get’s pregnant; bitch is even hornier. | 结果她怀孕了 此后这妞性欲更强了 |
| [05:25] | Oh, yeah? I was once with this dude | 是吗 我也和某个男的交往过 |
| [05:27] | who I caught eating a sandwich during sex. | 被我发现他在做爱时吃三明治 |
| [05:29] | Big ol’ meatball falls out, lands on my back, | 大肉丸掉出来 砸过我背上 |
| [05:32] | rolls on to the elevator floor. | 一直滚到电梯地板上 |
| [05:34] | Hmm. Disgusting, right? | 恶心吧 |
| [05:37] | What, I never said it was you. | 怎么了 我可没说那人就是你 |
| [05:40] | Yeah, sorry we didn’t stay as laser-focused as you guys. | 是啊 抱歉我们没你们那么专注 |
| [05:43] | Hey, at least I got some evidence. | 至少我发现了些证据 |
| [05:45] | Look what I found in Quinn’s bedroom. | 瞧我在昆茵卧室里发现了什么 |
| [05:48] | Barney’s taking her to Hawaii. | 巴尼要带她去夏威夷 |
| [05:50] | Lily, you snooped through her stuff? | 莉莉 你还偷翻她的东西了 |
| [05:52] | No. It’s like the first thing you see | 才没有 我不过是用开信刀 |
| [05:54] | when you Jimmy open her desk drawer with a letter opener | 偷偷打开她的抽屉 一眼就看到了 |
| [05:57] | her grandfather left her, according to her diary. | 她日记里面还说 这开信刀是她奶奶留给她的呢 |
| [06:00] | First-class tickets, | 一等舱机票 |
| [06:01] | a four-star hotel– this cost Barney a fortune. | 四星级酒店 这得花巴尼不少钱呢 |
| [06:03] | Yeah, this proves that Quinn is totally using him for his money. | 对 这证明昆茵只是把巴尼当金主 |
| [06:07] | You know what, Lily, enough. | 好了 莉莉 别闹了 |
| [06:09] | Guys, even if you’re right about Quinn, this is Barney. | 伙计们 即使你们说得没错 但这是巴尼的事 |
| [06:11] | He’ll come to his senses. | 他迟早会意识到的 |
| [06:12] | I give this whole thing a week, two weeks, tops. | 我们再等一周 最多两周 |
| [06:15] | And now, we have an announcement. | 现在 我们有事要宣布 |
| [06:17] | Can I tell them? | 能让我来说吗 |
| [06:18] | No. | 不行 |
| [06:20] | – We’re moving in together – We’re m… | -我们要同居了 -我们… |
| [06:22] | – Congrats! That’s great. – So happy for you. | -恭喜 太好了 -真替你们高兴 |
| [06:25] | We gotta end this. | 我们得棒打鸳鸯了 |
| [06:26] | Yup. | 对 |
| [06:31] | Kids, as you’ll recall, | 孩子们 你们应该记得 |
| [06:33] | our gang had a subtle way of letting someone know | 我们这伙人会通过隐晦的方式 |
| [06:35] | they were making a mistake. | 让朋友知道他们在犯错 |
| [06:37] | 劝诫大会 | |
| [06:39] | Where have you been? | 你去哪里了 |
| [06:40] | Oh, worth it. Hang on. | 没白跑 等等 |
| [06:45] | 戒茵大会 | |
| [06:51] | You know we would’ve hated ourselves, right? | 我们事后肯定会恨死自己的 对吧 |
| [06:55] | So, | 所以 |
| [06:56] | did Robin tell you the incredibly devious thing she did today? | 罗宾有说今天自己偷摸着干嘛了吗 |
| [06:59] | Me?! | 怎么是我 |
| [07:02] | Hey, so I just happened to be in the neighborhood | 我刚碰巧来这个小区 |
| [07:04] | and I thought, “Man, Quinn is in such great shape, | 然后灵光一闪 “天啊 昆茵身材那么好” |
| [07:06] | she must love fruit.” | “她一定喜欢吃水果” |
| [07:09] | So, unrelated, | 对了 随便问下 |
| [07:11] | how’s the search for a sub-letter going? | 你代租人找得怎么样了 |
| [07:13] | This is such a weird coincidence! | 这也太巧了吧 |
| [07:16] | Robin also “just happened” to be in the neighborhood | 罗宾也”正好碰巧”来这个小区 |
| [07:19] | with a bottle of wine and her credit scores. | 还带了一瓶酒和她的信用评级 |
| [07:29] | I can’t believe you two. | 你俩真是不可理喻 |
| [07:30] | What do you care about more, | 你们更在意什么 |
| [07:31] | protecting your friend from getting hurt | 是保护朋友不受伤害 |
| [07:33] | or scoring this girl’s apartment? | 还是抢占这个姑娘的公寓 |
| [07:35] | There’s a working fireplace! | 那房子有个能用的壁炉 |
| [07:37] | Patrice is ironing my pants all wrong! | 帕拉里斯把我的裤子都给烫坏了 |
| [07:40] | You guys should be ashamed. | 你们真该感到难为情 |
| [07:42] | Speaking of shame, | 说到难为情 |
| [07:43] | I was once with this chick who liked to do hand stuff | 以前有某个妞 她喜欢在麦凯伦酒吧 |
| [07:46] | underneath a jacket while we were all | 我们最喜欢的小隔间里 |
| [07:47] | sitting around our favorite booth at MacLaren’s. | 盖着外套帮我打手枪 |
| [07:49] | Gross. | 真恶心 |
| [07:50] | We share appetizers. | 我们前菜可是一起吃的 |
| [07:52] | Okay, well, I was once with a dude | 好吧 我以前交往过的某个男的 |
| [07:55] | who couldn’t even fantasize about a three-way. | 连意淫下三人行都不敢 |
| [07:58] | He was all, “Ew, she’s your best friend.” | 他就只会说 “她可是你的闺蜜” |
| [08:00] | What now? | 干嘛现在说 |
| [08:01] | I was once with a chick who wanted | 我以前交往过的某个妞 |
| [08:02] | to get it on during a school production of Peter Pan. | 想在演学校话剧《彼得潘》的时候亲热 |
| [08:05] | Well, I… Wait, that wasn’t me. | 我…等等 你说的不是我 |
| [08:09] | So, back to Patrice and this ironing issue… | 还是继续聊帕拉里斯和烫衣服的事吧 |
| [08:11] | I thought I was the first girl you ever did anything with. | 我以为你所有的第一次都是和我做的 |
| [08:13] | Anything serious. | 所有认真的第一次 |
| [08:15] | Please don’t tell me that you’re jealous of me getting | 别告诉我你嫉妒我在十年级时 |
| [08:17] | to second base in tenth grade with Jenna Cristalli. | 和珍娜·克里斯托莉进行到二垒[摸胸] |
| [08:20] | Don’t say that whore’s name in front of our baby. | 别当着我们宝宝的面提那个婊子的名字 |
| [08:24] | What’s going on? | 什么事 |
| [08:26] | Barney, this in an intervention. | 巴尼 这是场劝说大会 |
| [08:31] | A “Quinntervention.” | 是”戒茵大会” |
| [08:33] | You and Quinn are moving really fast, and we don’t trust her. | 你和奎茵进展太快了 而我们不信任她 |
| [08:37] | We’re just looking out for your best interests. | 我们只是让你留个心眼 |
| [08:42] | “Quinn-terests.” | “留心昆茵” |
| [08:45] | I don’t understand. Wh… | 我不明白 |
| [08:47] | Wait a sec. | 等等 |
| [08:49] | Ted Evelyn Mosby… | 泰德·艾弗琳·莫斯比 |
| [08:51] | you broke The Broath. | 你违反了”兄言” |
| [08:54] | How dare you?! | 你可别血口喷人 |
| [08:56] | A Broath is the most sacred bond between– | “兄言”是兄弟间最神圣的… |
| [08:58] | okay, yeah, I did. | 是 我违反了 |
| [09:00] | Are you aware that breaking a Broath can have deadly, | 你知道违反”兄言”后果严重 |
| [09:04] | even fatal repercussions? | 甚至可能招来杀生之祸吗 |
| [09:06] | – Have you studied history, Ted? – Extensively. | -你有学过历史吗 泰德 -我古今皆通 |
| [09:09] | But I’m a little shaky on fake history, so… | 可我对捏造的历史一窍不通 所以… |
| [09:11] | The tragic cost of a broken Broath | 违反”兄言”的惨痛代价 |
| [09:14] | dates back to Ancient Bro-man times… | 可以追溯到古”罗兄”时期 |
| [09:20] | Hey, Bro-tus, | 兄鲁图 |
| [09:20] | 源自罗马政治家布鲁图[Brutus] 马尔库斯·尤尼乌斯·布鲁图是凯撒最宠爱的助手、挚友和养子 | |
| [09:22] | you’d tell me if, like, a bunch of dudes | 要是有一群人合谋刺杀我 |
| [09:24] | were conspiring to assassinate me, right? | 你会告诉我的 对吧 |
| [09:26] | Um, totally, Caesar. | 没错 凯撒 |
| [09:30] | Paranoid much? | 被害妄想症又烦了吧 |
| [09:32] | Just to be sure, | 我只是想确定 |
| [09:35] | can you swear a Broath to me? | 你能对着”兄言”发誓吗 |
| [09:37] | Sure. I swear. | 好 我发誓 |
| [09:41] | Thanks. | 谢了 |
| [09:42] | You’ve always got my back. | 就知道你一直都挺我 |
| [09:49] | [恺撒被一班反对君主制的罗马元老院成员一人一刀捅死 行刺者包括布鲁图] | |
| [10:04] | Et tu, Bro-te? | 你也有份吗 兄鲁图 |
| [10:04] | “Et tu, brute”出自英国文艺复兴时期 大文豪威廉·莎士比亚的作品《儒略·恺撒》 | |
| [10:12] | And then he banged, like, a hundred chicks | 然后他上了上百个妞 |
| [10:14] | and invented a salad. | 还发明了凯撒沙拉 |
| [10:14] | 凯撒沙拉则是由一名墨西哥餐厅主厨 凯撒·卡迪尼在1924年发明 | |
| [10:17] | True story. | 真事哟 |
| [10:18] | Well, Quinn lied to you, she manipulated you. | 昆茵骗了你 还把你玩弄于股掌之间 |
| [10:21] | What if she’s just using you? | 如果她只是在利用你呢 |
| [10:23] | She’s not just using me. | 她没有利用我 |
| [10:24] | What about the expensive trip to Hawaii? | 夏威夷奢华之旅怎么说呢 |
| [10:26] | What expensive trip to Hawaii? | 什么夏威夷奢华之旅 |
| [10:29] | The one I got for you. | 那是我为你准备的 |
| [10:32] | That was supposed to be a surprise for Barney. | 那本来是给巴尼的惊喜 |
| [10:34] | He asked me to meet him here. | 巴尼让我来这里找他 |
| [10:36] | What’s going on, you guys? | 你们在做什么 |
| [10:39] | Tell her. | 告诉她 |
| [10:42] | Fine, I’ll fill her in. | 好 那我来告诉她[我来塞满她] |
| [10:45] | And I am so angry, | 我现在一肚子火 |
| [10:46] | I’m not even gonna make a joke about “filling her in.” | 都没心情开黄色玩笑了 |
| [10:49] | Which I did three times last night, self-five. | 虽然我昨晚塞了三次 自己鼓掌 |
| [10:52] | My friends think you’re wrong for me, | 我朋友觉得你不适合我 |
| [10:54] | so they’re having an intervention. | 所以他们在开劝诫大会 |
| [10:59] | A “Quinntervention.” | 是”戒茵大会” |
| [11:01] | I don’t understand. | 我不明白 |
| [11:03] | Well, see, your name is Quinn, and so… | 你叫昆茵嘛 “戒”是指… |
| [11:05] | I’ll explain. | 我来解释 |
| [11:08] | I made Ted promise not to tell them what you do, | 我让泰德不要告诉他们你的职业 |
| [11:11] | but he did, | 但是他还是说了 |
| [11:12] | and now they don’t trust you. | 现在他们不信任你 |
| [11:14] | Wow, that really hurts. | 还真是伤人啊 |
| [11:17] | But what’s even worse is that | 但让我更伤心的是 |
| [11:19] | you felt the need to lie about me. | 你居然觉得有必要隐瞒我的职业 |
| [11:21] | I’m not ashamed of who I am, Barney, | 巴尼 我不已自己为耻 |
| [11:23] | but you clearly are. | 但你却觉得不光彩 |
| [11:25] | I’m not ashamed of you. | 我没有觉得不光彩 |
| [11:27] | I just didn’t want them to judge you without… | 我只是不想让他们对你妄下评判 |
| [11:29] | Maybe we are moving too fast. | 也许我们是进展得太快了 |
| [11:31] | What? What is that supposed to mean? | 什么 你这话什么意思 |
| [11:33] | I don’t think I can do this. | 我没办法继续了 |
| [11:35] | Wait, are you ending things just like that? | 你就这样和我分手吗 |
| [11:39] | If you walk out that door, you prove them right. | 如果你走出那扇门 就证明他们是对的 |
| [11:42] | You prove that you’re just some heartless stripper | 也证明了 你是个绝情寡义的脱衣舞娘 |
| [11:44] | who never gave a damn about me in the… | 一心在乎的是我的钱而不是… |
| [11:48] | Don’t call me. | 别找我了 |
| [11:54] | Wow. That was intense. | 真是紧张又激烈 |
| [12:02] | We just destroyed what could have been | 我们刚刚破坏了 |
| [12:03] | a once-in-a-lifetime shot at happiness. | 一个千载难逢的幸福机会 |
| [12:06] | I know. I feel guilty, too. | 我知道 我也很自责 |
| [12:09] | Fireplace, balcony, | 壁炉 阳台 |
| [12:11] | hardwood floors… | 硬木地板 |
| [12:13] | Okay, I’ll just say it: | 够了 我就直说吧 |
| [12:15] | After everything that happened between us, | 在我们发生那么多事后 |
| [12:16] | I can’t believe you wouldn’t back down | 我真不敢相信你居然还不肯放手 |
| [12:18] | and let me have Quinn’s place. | 把昆茵的房子让给我 |
| [12:20] | Ted, can I talk to you out in the hall? | 泰德 我们能出去聊聊吗 |
| [12:25] | Has it ever occurred to you | 你有没有想过 |
| [12:27] | that the last few weeks haven’t been easy for me either? | 过去的几周 我也很难熬 |
| [12:30] | In the span of one day, my engagement fell apart, | 一天之内 我感情破裂 |
| [12:33] | I lost my best friend, then I lost my apartment. | 痛失挚友 无家可归 |
| [12:36] | And-and now I’m about to lose my job. | 而现在 我又即将变成无业游民 |
| [12:39] | What do you mean? | 这话什么意思 |
| [12:40] | I-I’ve been completely distracted at work. | 我最近无法专心工作 |
| [12:44] | And now my boss wants to see me Friday at 5:00, | 老板要我周五五点去见他 |
| [12:46] | which, around the office, is known as “fire o’clock.” | 全办公室的人都知道那是”炒鱿鱼专点” |
| [12:50] | I had no idea. | 我不知道 |
| [12:52] | How could you? | 你怎么可能知道 |
| [12:53] | The one person I want to talk to most barely looks me | 我唯一想与之倾诉的那个人 |
| [12:57] | in the eye anymore, much less returns my calls. | 现在不愿看我一眼 更别说回我电话了 |
| [13:00] | Ted, I know it took guts to tell me you love me. | 泰德 我知道向我表白需要很大的勇气 |
| [13:03] | And I-I know how much it hurt that I didn’t say it back, | 我也知道我没有接受你有多伤心 |
| [13:07] | but… | 但是… |
| [13:08] | Damn it, th-this sucks for me, too. | 该死的 我心里也不好受 |
| [13:13] | And I-I miss you. | 我想你 |
| [13:17] | Is there any way we can just… | 我们能不能… |
| [13:20] | go back to normal? | 重新做回朋友 |
| [13:24] | I don’t think I can do normal anymore. | 我们回不去了 |
| [13:31] | Barney still isn’t answering. | 巴尼还是没回电话 |
| [13:32] | We gotta go find him and apologize. | 我们得找到他 向他道歉 |
| [13:39] | Oh. I thought you were Quinn. | 我还以为是昆茵呢 |
| [13:42] | Barney, we’re so sorry. | 巴尼 真的很抱歉 |
| [13:43] | We never should’ve meddled like that. | 我们不该这么蛮横插手你的事 |
| [13:46] | – Can you forgive us? – I don’t know. | -你能原谅我们吗 -我不知道 |
| [13:47] | You had no right to do that. | 你们没有权利那么做 |
| [13:49] | How can we make it up to you, buddy? | 兄弟 那你想我们怎么补偿你 |
| [13:54] | I, one of Barney’s best friends… | 我 巴尼的死党之一 |
| [13:57] | “I, one of Barney’s best friends…” | 我 巴尼的死党之一 |
| [14:00] | …promise never to interfere with his personal life again… | 发誓再也不会干涉他的私人生活 |
| [14:04] | “…promise never to interfere with his personal life again…” | 发誓再也不会干涉他的私人生活 |
| [14:07] | …unless it’s an issue of health, national security, | 除非涉及到身体健康 国家安全 |
| [14:11] | or he’s about to get up on a fattie. | 或他准备上一个胖妞 |
| [14:13] | “…unless it’s an issue of health, national security, | 除非涉及到身体健康 国家安全 |
| [14:17] | or he’s about to get up on a fattie.” | 或他准备上一个胖妞 |
| [14:20] | And now, to seal this sacred vow, | 现在 两位女士请亲吻对方 |
| [14:25] | – the two ladies will kiss. – Barney… | -以吻封住这庄严的誓言 -巴尼 |
| [14:27] | The two ladies will kiss! | 两位女士请亲吻对方 |
| [14:36] | Lil… | 莉莉 |
| [14:37] | Okay. | 好了 |
| [14:39] | And now the gentlemen. | 现在该男士了 |
| [14:40] | Dude… | 老兄 |
| [14:41] | And now the gentlemen! | 现在该男士了 |
| [14:45] | – Let’s just… – This is silly. | -我们就… -太乱来了 |
| [14:50] | Don’t-don’t touch my face. | 别 别碰我的脸 |
| [14:57] | I was going to say, | 我本来要说 |
| [14:57] | “And now the gentlemen bump fists.” | “现在该男士碰拳封住誓言” |
| [14:59] | How long you been holding back that one? | 你们俩想亲对方多久了呀 |
| [15:02] | Hot stuff, fellas. | 太香艳了 老兄 |
| [15:04] | Did I see a little tongue in there? | 是有伸舌头吗 |
| [15:07] | I don’t understand. | 这是怎么回事 |
| [15:09] | Well, if these two will keep their sweaty paws off each other | 如果这两位不是那么如胶似漆的话 |
| [15:12] | for half a second, I’ll explain. | 我就解释给你们听 |
| [15:13] | It all started a couple days ago… | 这是因为几天前… |
| [15:15] | I want you to meet my friends. | 我想带你去见我的朋友 |
| [15:17] | Should I be nervous? | 我应该紧张吗 |
| [15:18] | Is it like bringing me home to meet your parents? | 就像你带我回家见家长一样 |
| [15:20] | No, no, no. | 不 不 不 |
| [15:22] | Much more stressful than that. | 比见家长更有压力 |
| [15:23] | You see, my friends, while awesome, can be presumptuous, | 我的朋友们虽然很棒 但又自以为是 |
| [15:25] | meddlesome and downright destructive. | 爱管闲事 搞砸事情功夫一流 |
| [15:28] | When they learn what you do and how we met, | 当他们知道你的职业 知道我们如何邂逅 |
| [15:30] | they’ll probably try to break us up. | 他们很可能会想办法拆散我们 |
| [15:33] | So let’s have some fun with them. | 不如我们就将计就计 |
| [15:34] | Mess with their heads. | 陪他们玩玩 |
| [15:35] | Are you saying… evil plan? | 你是说 整人计划吗 |
| [15:38] | Hells to the yes. | 正是此意 |
| [15:40] | My God, you’re hot. | 天啊 你真撩人 |
| [15:42] | Wait for it. | 等等 |
| [15:44] | Here’s what we do. | 我们的计划如下 |
| [15:45] | I’ll make Ted swear not to tell anyone what he knows about you, | 我会让泰德发誓不向任何人透露有关你的事 |
| [15:48] | and he’ll cave immediately. | 他肯定会立马跑去泄密 |
| [15:50] | Barney’s dating a stripper who’s gonna steal all his money! | 巴尼跟一个会把他钱骗光光的脱衣舞娘好上了 |
| [15:52] | Next, we invite everyone over. | 接着 我们邀请大伙来做客 |
| [15:54] | I’ll keep saying stuff like: | 我会不断征求你的意见 |
| [15:55] | Is it okay if I put out the hummus, bunny face? | 要端鹰嘴豆泥出来吗 兔兔宝贝 |
| [15:57] | And I’ll be the bossy bitch who says: | 我则摆出悍妇的样子来回答 |
| [15:58] | No, save it for dessert, idiot. | 不许 留着当甜点 白痴 |
| [16:01] | Nice. | 太棒了 |
| [16:02] | And, finally, we’ll announce… | 最后 我们会宣布 |
| [16:03] | We’re moving in together! | 我们俩要同居了 |
| [16:05] | I’ve got an idea. | 我有个主意 |
| [16:06] | Let’s get your friends Ted and Robin | 让你的朋友泰德和罗宾 |
| [16:08] | fighting over my apartment. | 一起争夺我的公寓吧 |
| [16:09] | Wait, what does that have to do with you and me? | 等等 这对于咱俩有啥好处吗 |
| [16:11] | Nothing. I just worship chaos. | 没好处 我就爱损人不利己 |
| [16:13] | I can’t handle how hot you are right now. | 你真是让我欲火焚身 |
| [16:15] | – Wait for it. – Next, | -再等等 -接下来 |
| [16:17] | they’ll try to talk me into dumping you. | 他们会劝我和你分手 |
| [16:20] | And I’ll walk in on it. | 我则正好撞见此事 |
| [16:21] | Then we pretend to break up. | 然后我们假装分手 |
| [16:22] | And when they crawl back, | 当他们回来 |
| [16:23] | begging for forgiveness… | 跪求我的原谅时 |
| [16:25] | I’ll be the bigger man and let them off the hook. | 我就装出大人有大量的样子 原谅他们 |
| [16:27] | Or make the monkeys dance for you. | 又或者 将他们玩弄于股掌之间 |
| [16:29] | God, you’re smart! | 我的天啊 你太有才了 |
| [16:31] | It’s gonna be legen… | 这将会成为传 |
| [16:34] | I’m not waiting for it anymore. | 我再也等不了了 |
| [16:37] | …dary. | 奇 |
| [16:40] | My God, you two are… | 我的天啊 你们俩真是 |
| [16:42] | Perfect together. | 天造地设的一对 |
| [16:44] | So you’re not really moving in? | 所以你不打算搬进来了吗 |
| [16:46] | Well, it started out as a joke, | 一开始我们只是开玩笑而已 |
| [16:48] | but the more we talked about it… | 可当我们越深入地谈这事 |
| [16:49] | The more excited we got. | 就越起劲 |
| [16:50] | So, yeah, we are. | 所以没错 我们要同居了 |
| [16:53] | You have anything to say about that? | 你们对此有何意见吗 |
| [16:57] | – So happy for you. – Congratulations. | -为你们俩高兴 -恭喜了 |
| [17:01] | Thank you. | 谢谢你们 |
| [17:02] | Thank you. | 谢了 |
| [17:05] | You two realize this means | 你俩明白这就意味着 |
| [17:06] | my apartment really is up for grabs, right? | 我的公寓真的要出租了 对吧 |
| [17:11] | I’m sure I’ll find something else. | 我一定能找到其他住所的 |
| [17:12] | Me, too. | 我也是 |
| [17:14] | And that’s the story of how we met Quinn. | 这就是我们和昆茵相识的经过 |
| [17:18] | That Friday, I met Robin to see how it went at “fire o’clock.” | 周五 我和罗宾碰面详谈”炒鱿鱼专点”的事 |
| [17:22] | They promoted me to on-air talent. | 他们调我去主持直播达人秀 |
| [17:24] | I’m gonna be Sandy Rivers’ new co-host. | 我将成为桑迪·里维斯的新主持搭档 |
| [17:27] | Oh, my God! | 我的天 |
| [17:28] | How’d that happen? | 怎么会这样 |
| [17:29] | Remember New Year’s Eve? | 还记得跨年夜吗 |
| [17:30] | When I filled in for Sandy, it turns out | 我临时代替桑迪主持 结果 |
| [17:33] | the C.E.O. of World Wide News liked me. | 环球新闻的执行总裁很喜欢我 |
| [17:35] | He said I have “moxie.” | 他说我挺”带种”的 |
| [17:37] | So he’s a 1940s gangster? | 他是四十年代的黑帮分子吗 |
| [17:38] | Apparently. | 显然是的 |
| [17:40] | And I got a big raise, | 我的薪水涨了不少 |
| [17:42] | so I’m taking this apartment on Central Park West, | 所以我决定租下中央公园西区的公寓 |
| [17:46] | which means… | 这就意味着 |
| [17:47] | Quinn’s apartment. | 昆茵的公寓 |
| [17:48] | I already told her you’d take it. | 我已经告诉她那房子归你了 |
| [17:51] | Wow. Thanks. | 多谢了 |
| [17:53] | Yeah. | 没事 |
| [17:55] | Hey, and congrats. | 也祝贺你 |
| [17:56] | You deserve it all. | 你真的是名至实归 |
| [17:59] | You know, I’ve been thinking about it, and… | 我一直在考虑那件事 |
| [18:03] | I can do normal. | 我可以跟你重新做回朋友 |
| [18:06] | To back to normal. | 为重新做回朋友干杯 |
| [18:07] | To back to normal. | 为重新做回朋友干杯 |
| [18:17] | – Uh… I-I should get going. – Yeah. | -我该走了 -行 |
| [18:19] | – You’ve got a lot to do. – Totally. | -你还有好多事要办呢 -没错 |
| [18:21] | So… Um, see you soon. | 那就 回头见吧 |
| [18:22] | See you soon. | 回头见 |
| [18:23] | Yeah. | 好 |
| [18:25] | We wouldn’t see each other for a long time. | 后来我们很长一段时间没有见面 |
| [18:28] | But I’ll get to that. | 不过这事以后再说 |
| [18:30] | Listen, um… | 听着 |
| [18:32] | about me getting to second base in tenth grade | 关于我在十年级时和珍娜·克里斯托莉 |
| [18:34] | with Jenna Cristalli… | 进行到二垒的事 |
| [18:36] | I don’t know what you’re talking about. | 我不知道你在说什么 |
| [18:37] | I’ve already forgotten about that dumb hobag. | 我早就把那小贱货给忘了 |
| [18:40] | Yeah, um, it didn’t happen while we were watching Peter Pan. | 那事不是在我俩看《彼得潘》时发生的 |
| [18:44] | It happened while I was playing Peter Pan. | 而是在我扮演彼得潘时发生的 |
| [18:49] | Here’s a photo from the day I was cast. | 这里有我演出时的照片 |
| [18:51] | That’s me in the middle. | 中间那娃就是我 |
| [18:52] | But then I had my growth spurt. | 当时我正值生长迅猛期 |
| [18:56] | By opening night, I was too big for the flying harness, | 演出当晚 我已经长到套不进悬空安全带了 |
| [18:59] | and, well… | 于是乎 |
| [19:03] | I fell hands-first right onto Jenna Cristalli. | 我摔在珍娜·克里斯托莉身上 双手先着胸 |
| [19:07] | The tissues in her bra saved me two broken wrists. | 她在胸罩里塞的那堆纸巾让我免于双腕骨折 |
| [19:10] | I’m sorry. I just, I just wanted | 抱歉 我只是想要有件 |
| [19:11] | to have one cool sex story that wasn’t you. | 主角不是你的劲爆性事 |
| [19:14] | Okay. Next time you tell it, | 好吧 下次你就说 |
| [19:16] | you were in your dad’s car, | 你偷开了你爸的车 |
| [19:18] | which you stole to go to a Metallica concert, | 带她去看金属乐队的演唱会 |
| [19:21] | and you got to third base with that slut. | 然后你和那浪货成功冲上三垒 |
| [19:21] | 三垒 指爱抚触摸私密部位 | |
| [19:27] | I was once with this chick… | 我曾经和某个妞有过一腿 |
| [19:31] | who is just the best wife ever. | 她是世上最棒的老婆 |
| [19:37] | Thank you for being so cool about what I do. | 谢谢你不介意我的工作 |
| [19:39] | A lot of guys would be weird or jealous. | 好多男人对这事不是纠结就是嫉妒 |
| [19:41] | Are you kidding? | 开什么玩笑 |
| [19:42] | Who am I to judge anyone? I’m the devil! | 我有什么资格来说别人 我自己就坏透了 |
| [19:49] | I mean, if you ever wanted to stop stripping, I’d support it. | 当然如果你不想跳了 我肯定举双手赞成 |
| [19:52] | If you wanted… to. | 前提是你不想 |
| [19:54] | So, you are jealous? | 所以你还是嫉妒咯 |
| [19:56] | What? No, no, not at all. | 什么 才不是 真没有 |
| [19:59] | I’m just saying, if you ever wanted to hang up the old G-string, | 我只是说 有天你不想宽衣解带了 |
| [20:01] | I’d completely understand. | 我完全理解你的决定 |
| [20:03] | Nah, I like taking my clothes off for money. | 不要 我喜欢为钱宽衣解带 |
| [20:06] | Great. | 很好 |
| [20:07] | Let me… let me finish. | 听我 听我把话说完 |
| [20:10] | Hypothetically, what would make you stop? | 假设说 什么才能让你不跳呢 |
| [20:14] | Hypothetically… | 假如说… |
| [20:17] | I would stop stripping if I ever got married. | 哪天我结婚了 我就不跳脱衣舞了 |
| [20:22] | Good night. | 晚安 |
| [20:30] | And then we agreed to “go back to normal.” | 于是我们决定”重新做回朋友” |
| [20:34] | But I’m starting to wonder if we can ever really just be friends. | 可我开始怀疑我们是否能够只做朋友 |
| [20:39] | Anyway, that’s the story of me and Robin, 2005 to the present. | 总之 这就是我和罗宾从05年起纠结至今的故事 |
| [20:44] | What do you think? | 你们怎么看 |
| [20:46] | I think your stories are way too long. | 我觉得你这故事比一匹布还长 |
| [20:49] | I feel bad for his future kids, dude. | 我真替他未来的小孩难过 |
| [20:52] | Hey, my kids are gonna love my stories. | 我的孩子肯定爱听我的故事 |
| [20:58] | They’re gonna… yeah, they’re gonna love my stories. | 他们肯定爱死这些故事了 |