| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | Kids, the summer of 2012 was the Summer of Love. | 孩子们 2012年的夏天堪称爱之夏 |
| [00:05] | Barney and Quinn, | 巴尼和昆茵 |
| [00:07] | me and Victoria, | 我和维多利亚 |
| [00:10] | Robin and Nick, | 罗宾和尼克 |
| [00:12] | Lily, Marshall and Marvin. | 莉莉 马修和小马文 |
| [00:15] | Everyone was happy as can be. | 每个人都沉浸在幸福中 |
| [00:18] | Which means there are absolutely no good stories. | 这就意味没什么好故事可以讲 |
| [00:22] | Let’s skip ahead… | 我们直接跳到 |
| [00:24] | …to October 2012, | 2012年10月 |
| [00:26] | the official kick-off of what came to be known as | 正式分离的月份 也就是我们熟知的 |
| [00:29] | the Autumn of Breakups. | 分手之秋 |
| [00:31] | 三天前 | |
| [00:32] | It all started when Barney got | 这一切始于巴尼 |
| [00:33] | a little friendly advice from a coworker. | 从同事那里得到一条友好的建议 |
| [00:35] | Get a prenup, | 定份婚前协议 |
| [00:36] | or I’ll neuter you before she ever has a chance! | 不然我就在她之前阉了你 |
| [00:39] | First of all, if you have an onion bagel, | 首先 你要是吃了洋葱圈 |
| [00:41] | you don’t need scallion cream cheese. | 就不要再吃大葱奶油干酪了 |
| [00:46] | Secondly, Quinn is a great girl. | 再说 昆茵是个好女孩 |
| [00:48] | I trust her. | 我信任她 |
| [00:50] | Oh, Darlene was a great girl. | 达琳当初也是个好女孩 |
| [00:52] | I trusted her. | 我也信任过她 |
| [00:53] | And then she took everything! | 可后来她夺走了一切 |
| [00:54] | My house, my car… | 我的房子 我的车 |
| [00:57] | my dog Tugboat. | 我的爱犬小拖船 |
| [00:59] | I even lost out with the kids. | 我甚至在孩子方面也输了 |
| [01:02] | Full custody! | 全部监护权 |
| [01:03] | I got full custody of those kids! | 我得到了孩子的全部监护权 |
| [01:06] | Your kids are horrible. | 你的孩子太可怕了 |
| [01:08] | The worst. | 简直是混世魔王 |
| [01:09] | Barney, I watched as Darlene | 巴尼 我看着达琳 |
| [01:10] | cut everything good out of my life | 把我生活中美好的东西一一切除 |
| [01:12] | like a deranged surgeon hacking out organs, | 就像一个神经错乱的外科医生在切除器官 |
| [01:15] | and that’s not a metaphor. | 我说这话不是在比喻 |
| [01:17] | She got one of my kidneys. | 她真的拿走了我的一颗肾 |
| [01:21] | That’s her ringtone. | 这是她的来电铃声 |
| [01:24] | I have nothing left to give you, Darlene! | 我已经一无所有了 达琳 |
| [01:38] | 老爸老妈浪漫史 | |
| [01:43] | You won’t believe what Barney did today. | 你们不会相信巴尼今天做了什么 |
| [01:45] | You won’t believe what Quinn did today. | 你们不会相信昆茵今天做了什么 |
| [01:47] | Hey, you ready for lunch? | 可以去吃午饭了吗 |
| [01:49] | Hey, there she is. | 她来了 |
| [01:50] | The future Mrs. Barney Stinson. | 未来的巴尼・斯丁森太太 |
| [01:53] | You better enjoy signing your name “Quinn Garvey” | 你最好珍惜一下签名还能 |
| [01:55] | while you still can, right? | 签”昆茵・加维”的最后时光 |
| [01:57] | Like, I don’t know… | 不如这就签上 |
| [01:59] | here, here, here, initial here… | 这里 这里 这里首字母大写 |
| [02:03] | What is this? | 这是什么 |
| [02:04] | Oh, this is our prenup. | 这是我们的婚前协议 |
| [02:07] | Black or blue? Totally up to you. | 黑笔或蓝笔 完全由你做主 |
| [02:09] | Um, can I read it first? | 我能先看看吗 |
| [02:11] | Can you believe that? | 难以置信 |
| [02:12] | He wants me to sign a prenup! | 他想让我签婚前协议 |
| [02:14] | Can you believe that? | 难以置信 |
| [02:15] | She wants to read it first! | 她还想先看看 |
| [02:18] | Just go ahead and sign. | 你就直接签吧 |
| [02:19] | It’s all pretty standard. | 都是些标准化条款 |
| [02:22] | “In the event of divorce, | 离婚后 |
| [02:24] | “Mr. Stinson is granted weekly visitation rights | 斯丁森先生可获准每周探视一次 |
| [02:26] | to Ann, Sarah and Molly.” | 安娜 萨拉和茉莉 |
| [02:29] | You named our future kids? | 你还给我们将来的孩子取了名吗 |
| [02:31] | That’s actually pretty sweet. | 这还蛮贴心的 |
| [02:33] | Those are Mr. Stinson’s names for your lady parts. | 那些是斯丁森先生为您的三点区域取的名 |
| [02:37] | It’s important for the girls to maintain a relationship | 孩子们要跟爸比维持良好的关系 |
| [02:40] | with their daddy. | 这点很重要哦 |
| [02:43] | You named her lady parts? | 你给她的三点区取了名吗 |
| [02:46] | Everyone does that. | 大家都这么做 |
| [02:48] | So… Lily? | 那么 莉莉的是 |
| [02:50] | Snap, Crackle, Pop. | 噼啪 咔嚓 砰 |
| [02:53] | – Solid. – Wait. | -有默契 -等等 |
| [02:55] | Is this prenup in any way legit? | 这种婚前协议合乎常理吗 |
| [02:58] | I mean, so far, it sounds a lot like | 我是说 目前为止 这听起来 |
| [02:59] | that bar napkin document you make one-night stands sign, | 就像是你写在酒吧纸巾上的一夜情协议 |
| [03:02] | promising not to get clingy. | 好保证事后不会缠着你 |
| [03:03] | The Pre-Shtup, patent pending. | 那是滚床单前协议 专利申请中 |
| [03:05] | God, I gotta come up with a lot of good stuff! | 天啊 我得多想点好点子 |
| [03:08] | Anyway, I realize | 总之 我意识到 |
| [03:09] | these aren’t just terms for divorce, so I ask… | 这些并不只是离婚协议 所以我问… |
| [03:12] | Are these rules for how I have to behave in our marriage? | 这些是我要在婚后如何表现的规矩吗 |
| [03:15] | Rules? | 规矩 |
| [03:17] | Suggestions. | 是建议 |
| [03:19] | Rich people and celebrities put stuff like this | 那些富人和名人常常把这些 |
| [03:21] | in their prenups all the time. | 写进他们的婚前协议里 |
| [03:23] | And those are the marriages that last. | 而那些婚姻都得以持久 |
| [03:27] | I have to pay $2,000 every time I gain a pound? | 我每长一磅就要付你两千美元 |
| [03:31] | Not every time. | 不是每长一磅就算 |
| [03:33] | Just if it shows up at the weekly weigh-in. | 只有每周过磅的时候才算 |
| [03:36] | See, you can’t do that. | 你不能这么做 |
| [03:37] | “Miss Garvey must invent 12 new | 加维小姐每年必须发明 |
| [03:39] | sexual positions per year, | 12个新的性爱姿势 |
| [03:41] | “At least ten of which | 其中至少10个姿势 |
| [03:42] | involve her doing all or most of the work.” | 是全部或大部分由她主动 |
| [03:45] | You definitely can’t do that. | 你绝对不能这么做 |
| [03:47] | “Miss Garvey’s breasts must be enhanced every five years | 加维小姐必须每五年做一次隆乳 |
| [03:50] | or 50,000 honka-honkas, whichever comes first.” | 或五万次抓胸 先后次序随意 |
| [03:54] | – That’s actually not bad. – I’ll allow it. | -这其实不错 -这条我同意 |
| [03:58] | That’s repulsive. | 这简直太变态了 |
| [03:59] | And, sidebar: why do men think | 再说 男人怎么会觉得 |
| [04:01] | women like to be honka-honka’d? | 女人喜欢被抓胸呢 |
| [04:03] | What woman wants her breasts squeezed like a seal horn? | 什么女人会喜欢自己的胸被挤得像牛角 |
| [04:06] | Um… totally. | 对啊 就是 |
| [04:08] | Lily like-a-like-a the honka-honka. | 莉莉就很爱被抓胸 |
| [04:13] | “All hair below the neck must be removed weekly.” | 脖子以下的毛发必须每周脱一次 |
| [04:17] | Hey, you’re gonna be thanking me for that hair loss | 每周过磅的时候 你会因为少了毛发的重量 |
| [04:19] | during the weigh-in. | 而感谢我的 |
| [04:21] | “Miss Garvey’s parents may stay at our place | 加维的父母可以在我们家 |
| [04:23] | as long as they like.” | 想待多久待多久 |
| [04:25] | Well, at least that one’s nice. | 至少这条不错 |
| [04:29] | Provided they each arrive in an urn. | 前提是他们被火化装进骨灰盒 |
| [04:33] | “Wives two through eight will make a weekly chore wheel. | 妻子二号到八号 每周要有两位做家里的杂务 |
| [04:36] | I’m sorry, I borrowed a few sections | 抱歉 我从一个沙特阿拉伯的苏丹人 |
| [04:38] | from a prenup I did for a Saudi Arabian sultan. | 制定的婚前协议里借鉴了几条 |
| [04:41] | I’ll cross out the extra wives stuff. | 我会把其他一夫多妻的条款划掉 |
| [04:43] | – Unless… – Cross it out. | -除非… -划掉 |
| [04:47] | My God! What the hell does Barney think | 天啊 巴尼到底觉得 |
| [04:48] | marriage is going to be like, anyway? | 婚姻意味着什么啊 |
| [04:51] | Just a healthy, modern-day marriage, | 健康现代的婚姻是建立在 |
| [04:53] | based on mutual respect between two equals. | 两个平等的人相互尊重的基础上 |
| [04:57] | Ready for your wake-up lap dance, Master? | 主人 准备好享受您的叫醒大腿舞了吗 |
| [05:00] | Aren’t you forgetting something? | 你是不是忘了什么 |
| [05:02] | Oh, my God, it’s 9:00 a.M. | 天啊 现在早上九点了 |
| [05:05] | Legally mandated morning pillow fight time! | 依法须执行的晨间枕头大战时间 |
| [05:11] | Best husband ever. | 史上最棒老公 |
| [05:13] | Best husband ever. | 史上最棒老公 |
| [05:15] | Best husband ever. | 史上最棒老公 |
| [05:17] | Best husband e… | 史上最棒… |
| [05:19] | Sorry, sorry, we crossed out the wives | 抱歉抱歉 我们划掉妻子二号到八号 |
| [05:21] | two through eight stuff. Unless… | 只保留您这个大老婆 除非… |
| [05:23] | – Nope. – Okay. | -没门 -好吧 |
| [05:25] | Don’t worry. I crossed it out. | 别担心 我划掉了 |
| [05:27] | I didn’t really cross it out. | 其实我没划掉 |
| [05:29] | I can hear you. | 我听到了 |
| [05:30] | I’ll cross it out. | 我会划掉的 |
| [05:33] | I didn’t really cross it out. | 我才不会真划掉 |
| [05:37] | Hey, guys, what’s up? | 伙计们 怎么了 |
| [05:39] | Oh, Quinn’s pissed | 昆茵生气了 |
| [05:40] | because Barney wants her to sign a crazy prenup. | 巴尼想让她签一份疯狂的婚前协议 |
| [05:42] | But is it really crazy? | 真有那么疯狂吗 |
| [05:44] | – Yes. – Well, I’m new to this but guessing yes. Yes. | -对 -虽然我刚到 但我猜也是 |
| [05:47] | Okay, look. Did I go… | 听着 那我有没有… |
| [05:49] | a speck of sand, a fairy eyelash, | 做出像一粒沙 一根仙女的睫毛 |
| [05:52] | a unicorn whisper too far? | 一声独角兽的耳语那么过分的要求呢 |
| [05:54] | Perhaps. | 或许吧 |
| [05:57] | But can you tell me there’s nothing | 但是难道你们就敢说 |
| [05:59] | in any of your relationships you’d want to change? | 在你们的感情中 没有一点需要改变的地方吗 |
| [06:02] | No behavior you’d want to outlaw? | 没有想摒弃的行为吗 |
| [06:04] | No terms you’d want to renegotiate? | 没有想重新协商的地位吗 |
| [06:06] | Look me in the eye and tell me I’m crazy. | 想清楚再看着我的眼睛 说我疯了 |
| [06:09] | You’re crazy. | 你疯了 |
| [06:12] | But a funny thing happened that night. | 可当晚 有意思的事发生了 |
| [06:16] | Look, I’m not saying he’s right, but | 我没说他说是对的 可… |
| [06:18] | Barney does have a little bit of a point. | 巴尼的话的确有点道理 |
| [06:20] | But on this one, he may have a point. | 在这一点上 他可能说得道理 |
| [06:22] | I mean, look… | 我是说 |
| [06:23] | the idea of renegotiating the terms of the relationship, | 重新协商感情中两人地位的想法 |
| [06:26] | that’s valid. | 是正确的 |
| [06:28] | No. | 才不是 |
| [06:29] | There isn’t anything about you that I’d want to change. | 你没有任何我想改变的地方 |
| [06:33] | Well, okay, maybe a couple of things. | 或许是有那么一两个地方 |
| [06:36] | Like what? | 比如什么 |
| [06:38] | And just like that… | 就这样 |
| [06:40] | one of these four couples would break up the very next day. | 这四对情侣中 有一对会在第二天分手 |
| [06:46] | Okay, it wasn’t Lily and Marshall. | 当然不是莉莉和马修 |
| [06:49] | One of these three couples would break up | 这三对中 有一对会在第二天分手 |
| [06:58] | What happened? | 怎么了 |
| [06:59] | So last night Nick was all like, | 昨晚尼克一直在说 |
| [07:01] | “Barney has a point “About renegotiating the terms | 巴尼在”协商关系”这点上说得有道理 |
| [07:04] | of the blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.” | 然后说了一堆有的没的废话 |
| [07:06] | Yeah, and Marshall was all like, | 对啊 马修也这样 |
| [07:07] | “Uh, I want to blah, of the blah, | 说什么”我想干嘛干嘛” |
| [07:09] | uh, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.” | 废话一堆 |
| [07:11] | If I shut my eyes it’s like they’re here. | 如果我闭上眼睛 仿佛能感觉到他们的存在 |
| [07:13] | They’re just using Barney’s prenup | 他们在借巴尼的婚前协议 |
| [07:15] | as a way to complain about us. | 来抱怨我们的不是 |
| [07:17] | I’m just saying, you’ve forbidden certain things | 我只是说 你禁止了一些 |
| [07:20] | that I might like to revisit. | 我可能还会想去做的事 |
| [07:22] | Marshall, you’re not going on a Sasquatch hunt | 马修 你不许再跟一群疯子 |
| [07:25] | in Oregon with a bunch of loonies. | 去俄勒冈州追寻大脚野人了 |
| [07:27] | Loonies? | 疯子 |
| [07:29] | Those brave, bearded men and women are crypto-zoologists, | 那些勇敢的大胡子男女都是神秘生物学家 |
| [07:33] | and they deserve the respect that title commands. | 你起码该对他们的职称有所尊重 |
| [07:36] | But that’s not what I was thinking of. | 但那不是我想说的重点 |
| [07:40] | You’re too precious with the baby. | 我想说的是 你太宝贝孩子了 |
| [07:42] | Okay, when we first came home with Marvin, | 好吧 我们第一次带马文回家 |
| [07:45] | there was a bad moment. | 发生了点不愉快 |
| [07:47] | Welcome home, buddy. | 欢迎回家 孩子 |
| [07:55] | Was it really that high? | 真有抛那么高吗 |
| [07:56] | I don’t know. I was hormonal. | 我不知道 我当时荷尔蒙作祟 |
| [07:58] | And suddenly, this primal, | 突然间 这个压抑已久 |
| [08:00] | protective mother voice came out of me. | 充满保护欲的母亲的声音嚷了出来 |
| [08:03] | Actually, it was two voices. | 事实上 是两个声音 |
| [08:05] | I seriously think one was coming from my vagina. | 我严重觉得有一个是我阴道的声音 |
| [08:09] | Never do that again! | 以后再也别这样了 |
| [08:12] | What is the big deal? | 有什么大不了的 |
| [08:15] | My brothers and my dad used to roughhouse with me all the time. | 我爸和我哥哥以前总把我扔来扔去的 |
| [08:18] | Welcome home, Marshall. | 欢迎回家 马修 |
| [08:22] | Hi. Boys… | 孩子们 |
| [08:24] | go long. | 接好 |
| [08:28] | Stop! Not in the house. | 住手 不许在屋里玩 |
| [08:31] | That’s how lamps break. | 灯就是被你这么打碎的 |
| [08:33] | Now go pass that baby around outside. | 想玩宝宝 到外面去 |
| [08:38] | Oh, fumble! | 哎呀 没接住 |
| [08:40] | And I turned out perfectly fine. | 我还不是茁壮成长了吗 |
| [08:42] | Marshall, this morning you thought | 马修 今天早上你还以为 |
| [08:44] | a ghost made your toast. | 你的烤面包是鬼做的呢 |
| [08:47] | I didn’t put the bread in. | 我没把面包放进去 |
| [08:48] | You didn’t put the bread in. | 你也没把面包放进去 |
| [08:51] | You know what? I will play with my son | 我要跟我的儿子玩 |
| [08:53] | however I see fit. And you know what else? | 我自有分寸 还有就是 |
| [08:57] | You can honka-honka yourself tonight. | 今晚你得”自娱自乐”了 |
| [09:00] | Barney’s prenup ruined my night, too. | 巴尼的婚前协议也毁了我的夜晚 |
| [09:03] | Okay, uh, what behavior of mine don’t you like? | 我哪种行为你不喜欢了 |
| [09:07] | I’m talking about the TV thing. | 我是说看电视那个 |
| [09:09] | Okay, the TV thing is an argument | 我们因为看电视吵架 |
| [09:12] | from, like, three weeks ago. | 是从三周前就开始了 |
| [09:22] | Oh, I’m sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [09:24] | Didn’t realize it takes 42 inches | 没想到要42英寸 |
| [09:26] | to keep you satisfied. | 才能让你满足 |
| [09:27] | The TV happened to be on. | 电视正好开着 |
| [09:28] | I happened to glance at it. | 我正好瞥到一眼 |
| [09:30] | – Does that make me so weird? – No. | -那样会很怪吗 -不会啊 |
| [09:32] | – Not at all. – Thank you. | -一点也不 -谢谢 |
| [09:36] | I may be a little weird. | 我可能是有点怪 |
| [09:43] | Oh, yeah. | 真舒服 |
| [09:45] | I get… turned on watching myself | 做爱时 我看着自己播新闻的样子 |
| [09:48] | do the news during sex. | 变得无比性奋 |
| [09:52] | Yeah, that’s a little weird. | 对 是有点奇怪 |
| [09:53] | Look, seeing myself on TV makes me | 听着 看着电视上的自己 |
| [09:56] | feel confident and sexy. | 让我觉得自信又性感 |
| [09:58] | And that is nothing to be ashamed of, right, sisters? | 没什么好丢人的 是吧 姐妹们 |
| [10:03] | – Never speak of this. – Ever. | -这事别再提了 -永远别提 |
| [10:05] | Yeah, of course. Yeah. | 好 那是当然 |
| [10:08] | There’s more. | 其实还有 |
| [10:14] | Wait. | 等等 |
| [10:15] | So when you’re doing the news live at 7:00, | 你在直播早上七点新闻的时候 |
| [10:18] | you wink to future you watching the rebroadcast at 11:00? | 对晚上看十一点重播的自己抛媚眼 |
| [10:23] | Maybe. | 可能吧 |
| [10:26] | – Never speak of this.- Ever | -这事别再提了 -永远别提 |
| [10:28] | You won’t believe | 你们不会相信 |
| [10:30] | what Ted did last night. | 泰德昨晚干了什么好事 |
| [10:32] | You said you were happy to help him out. | 你说你很乐意帮他 |
| [10:34] | Well, now I’m changing my mind. | 现在我改主意了 |
| [10:36] | Sorry to interrupt, roomie, | 抱歉打扰了 室友 |
| [10:37] | but I am trying to make sausage. | 我想做香肠 |
| [10:38] | Where do you keep your pig intestines? | 你家猪肠子放在哪里 |
| [10:41] | What’s your ex-fiance doing at Ted’s? | 你的前未婚夫在泰德家干嘛 |
| [10:44] | Klaus came to me a few weeks ago. | 克劳斯几周前来找我 |
| [10:47] | Since we broke up, | 我们分手后 |
| [10:48] | he lost his job, he got evicted. | 他失业了 又被房东赶了出来 |
| [10:50] | He’s miserable. | 他太惨了 |
| [10:52] | I’m so sorry. | 不好意思 |
| [10:53] | If I could just take a quick whore’s bath | 如果你能让我在你家厨房水槽 |
| [10:56] | in your kitchen sink, then I will skedaddle. | 洗洗腋下和胯下 然后我立马走人 |
| [10:58] | Oh, Klaus, I wish that there was something I could do to help. | 克劳斯 真希望我能帮你做点什么 |
| [11:02] | There is, little lady. | 你能 小姑娘 |
| [11:04] | I’ve got a guest room. | 我这儿有客房 |
| [11:06] | You’ll stay here till you’re back on your feet. | 你在回到正轨前 就住在这里好了 |
| [11:08] | Are you sure? | 你确定吗 |
| [11:10] | This is your apartment. | 这是你的公寓 |
| [11:13] | Think of this as our apartment. | 把这里当作是我们的公寓吧 |
| [11:16] | Hero Ted. | 扮英雄的泰德 |
| [11:17] | He loves that move. | 他好喜欢这样 |
| [11:18] | Yeah, for about five minutes, then he gets hero’s remorse. | 是呀 过不了五分钟 英雄就会后悔 |
| [11:21] | Danke schon, roomie. | 多谢你了 室友 |
| [11:23] | I will go get my things. | 我去拿行李 |
| [11:25] | Das is super-duper-duper. | 这真是太好了太好了 |
| [11:27] | My ferrets will be so happy. | 我的雪貂一定开心死了 |
| [11:29] | They have been living in an airport locker for weeks. | 它们已经在机场储物柜住了几星期了 |
| [11:32] | Here comes papa, children. | 爸爸来了 孩子们 |
| [11:34] | I’ll admit, | 我承认 |
| [11:35] | there have been a few awkward moments. | 的确有些时候蛮尴尬的 |
| [11:38] | You are going to love this. | 你们肯定会喜欢这个的 |
| [11:39] | This is the popular German situational-comedy, | 这是德国最受欢迎的情景喜剧 |
| [11:42] | Strange Compatriots. | 《陌生的同胞》 |
| [11:45] | Here we come. | 开始咯 |
| [11:46] | Ooh. Here’s the thing about this show, okay? | 我跟你讲讲这个节目哈 |
| [11:49] | One of them is very neat | 其中有一个人非常好 |
| [11:51] | und the other one is very, very neat. | 另一个人 则是非常非常的好 |
| [11:57] | Oh, Fritz, kommen sie hier. | 弗理兹 过来 |
| [11:59] | Ah, Fritz… | 弗理兹 |
| [12:01] | It’s time to give Klaus “Das boot.” | 是时候把克劳斯踹走了 |
| [12:06] | Klaus? | 克劳斯 |
| [12:08] | Wait, can-can you hear us through the wall? | 等等 隔着墙你都能听到我们讲话吗 |
| [12:11] | Yes, I can hear you. | 是的 可以听到 |
| [12:13] | I hear everything. | 什么都听得到哦 |
| [12:16] | That’s it. | 受不了了 |
| [12:17] | Klaus, get in here! | 克劳斯 进来 |
| [12:20] | For God’s sake. | 我的天 |
| [12:22] | I want you out of my apartment. | 我要你离开我的公寓 |
| [12:24] | You, those ferrets and all five newborns. | 你 那些雪貂 还有五只刚出生的 |
| [12:28] | Six and counting. | 是六只 继续计数中 |
| [12:30] | Mama is still going. | 妈妈还在生呢 |
| [12:31] | It is like a clown car. | 它那里就像小丑车一样 |
| [12:31] | 一个接一个地出来 | |
| [12:33] | Suddenly, it wasn’t our apartment anymore. | 突然之间 没有”我们的”公寓这一说了 |
| [12:36] | I had no say in the matter. | 我没有发言权了 |
| [12:38] | These guys are unbelievable. | 这些家伙太不像话了 |
| [12:40] | You know what, I am gonna go home | 我这就回家 |
| [12:42] | and watch the news all by myself. | 自己一个人”看”新闻 |
| [12:45] | Wait. | 等等 |
| [12:47] | I have an idea. | 我有个主意 |
| [12:50] | You know what? | 知道吗 |
| [12:52] | I’m on board with the whole prenup thing. | 我同意签署婚前协议 |
| [12:54] | That’s great. | 太好了 |
| [12:55] | It’s here to protect you, too, sweetie… | 婚前协议也是保护你啊 小甜心 |
| [12:57] | from becoming unappealing to me. | 以防你变得对我不具吸引力 |
| [13:01] | Actually, I made my own prenup | 事实上 我找人帮了点忙 |
| [13:03] | with a little help. | 拟定了自己的婚前协议 |
| [13:05] | Ladies? | 女士们 |
| [13:12] | Go ahead and sign. It’s all pretty standard. | 直接签字吧 全是标准的法律条款 |
| [13:16] | This might not be the best time to ask– | 现在可能不太合适问这个 |
| [13:18] | I’m sort of getting back in the game. | 我现在算是重回情场了 |
| [13:20] | The redhead with the baby, | 那个抱孩子的红发妞 |
| [13:22] | what’s her situation? | 有主了吗 |
| [13:29] | “In the event of divorce, Miss Garvey shall get | 离婚后 加维小姐将获得 |
| [13:32] | full custody of Mr. Stinson’s suits”? | 斯丁森先生西服的全部监护权 |
| [13:35] | Why? | 为什么 |
| [13:37] | – What would you do with them? – Nothing. | -你怎么处理它们 -置之不理 |
| [13:39] | I’d just sit around and watch them go out of style. | 我就是坐着看它们慢慢过时 |
| [13:42] | That is just sick. | 这也太变态了吧 |
| [13:44] | Keep reading. | 继续看吧 |
| [13:46] | “Mr. Stinson is allowed to attend | 斯丁森先生可以参加 |
| [13:48] | any function at the Playboy Mansion.” | 花花公子女郎宿舍的任何活动 |
| [13:50] | Well, at least that’s nice. | 至少这条不错 |
| [13:53] | “Provided he arrives in an urn.” | 前提是他被火化装进骨灰瓮 |
| [13:59] | Gentlemen, just in time. | 先生们 来得正好 |
| [14:01] | What are you bitches doing here? | 你们这些贱人来干嘛 |
| [14:02] | – Lily. – Oh, he’s napping. | -莉莉 -他在睡觉 |
| [14:04] | It’s the only time I get to go blue. | 只有这时候我才能发泄两句 |
| [14:05] | Barney texted us that you guys were ganging up on him. | 巴尼发短信说你们集体来找他茬 |
| [14:09] | So we’re just here to ensure | 所以我们只是来确保 |
| [14:10] | he doesn’t sign anything he’ll regret. | 他不会签什么会让他后悔的东西 |
| [14:13] | I’m sorry, I don’t think anyone here other than me is a lawyer. | 不好意思 这里只有我才是律师 |
| [14:16] | A well-paid, successful lawyer. | 一名高薪成功的律师 |
| [14:20] | I-I’m a lawyer. | 我也是律师 |
| [14:22] | Actually, we worked together for years. | 事实上 我们曾共事过几年 |
| [14:24] | Back off, stretch, I saw her first. | 闪一边儿去 大高个 是我先瞧见她的 |
| [14:27] | Hang on a second. | 等等 |
| [14:28] | “A half million dollar fine any time Mr. Stinson can’t | 只要斯丁森先生不能”随鸡变硬” |
| [14:32] | ‘rise to the occasion,’ | 就要处以50万美元的罚款 |
| [14:34] | cue sad slide whistle sounds”? | 提示 悲惨的下垂口哨声 |
| [14:39] | Hey, what’s this about a shock collar? | 这个电击圈是怎么回事 |
| [14:41] | Ah, yes, we’ll explain. | 那个啊 我们来解释 |
| [14:44] | Miss Garvey has many attractive friends who will come to visit. | 加维小姐会有很多的迷人的朋友来做客 |
| [14:48] | May I offer you some goat cheese puff pastries I made, mistress? | 来点我做的山羊奶酪酥吗 小姐 |
| [14:52] | As long as you can do it quietly. | 只要你默默端上来就行 |
| [15:02] | Wait, I’m confused. | 慢着 我糊涂了 |
| [15:03] | If it’s not around my neck, | 如果不是套在我脖子上 |
| [15:04] | then where’s the shock collar? | 那这个电击圈套在哪里啊 |
| [15:08] | Oh, God. | 我的娘哟 |
| [15:10] | Oh, God. | 我的亲娘哟 |
| [15:12] | It’s more of a shock ring, really. | 其实说电击环更准确些 |
| [15:15] | Her idea. | 她的主意 |
| [15:16] | Little missy is packing a brain, too. | 原来是美貌与智慧并存啊 |
| [15:20] | Okay, you know what? | 好吧 |
| [15:21] | Since we’re all pitching in, | 既然我们都来了 |
| [15:22] | may I suggest a provision? | 我能建议加项条款吗 |
| [15:25] | In the event that you have a son, Mr. Stinson is free | 你们生了儿子以后 斯丁森先生有权以 |
| [15:29] | to play with his child however he sees fit. | 他认为适当的方式和儿子玩耍 |
| [15:31] | How about forbidding your future husband | 再加一条禁止你未来的老公 |
| [15:33] | from spiking his child into his crib? | 用球棒把孩子打进婴儿床如何 |
| [15:36] | How about a clause protecting you from having to engage | 再加一条避免你被她用来 |
| [15:39] | in a three-way with her and whatever’s on basic cable? | 和常规电视节目玩”三人行”的条款如何 |
| [15:42] | Oh, yeah? How about forbidding… | 是吗 那要不要禁止 |
| [15:46] | I got nothing. | 我想不出来 |
| [15:47] | How about a provision barring any nudist German ex-fiance | 再加一条禁止光屁股前德国佬未婚夫 |
| [15:50] | from slapping his strudel up and down your sofa? | 在我的沙发上磨蹭他的”香肠”如何 |
| [15:52] | How about pretending to be a hero, | 再加上逞能装英雄 |
| [15:54] | but then caving the moment a ferret bite breaks the skin? | 结果被雪貂咬破皮就怂成软蛋了如何 |
| [15:57] | The skin of my eyelid. | 是咬破了我的眼皮 |
| [15:59] | That’s how they kiss. | 那是雪貂亲吻的方式 |
| [16:01] | Are you serious? | 你是认真的吗 |
| [16:07] | Enough! Enough! | 够了 够了 |
| [16:09] | You all have someone who loves you, | 你们都拥有深爱自己的人 |
| [16:10] | and you’re screwing it up, and over what? | 却要亲手毁掉这一切 为了什么啊 |
| [16:13] | Who has the most power? | 就为了比谁权力大吗 |
| [16:14] | That’s not love. | 这不是真爱 |
| [16:16] | Love is trusting someone enough | 真爱是足够信任对方 |
| [16:18] | to tell them what’s really bothering you. | 敢于说出让自己困扰的事情 |
| [16:20] | So that’s what we’re gonna do. | 所以我们就要这么做 |
| [16:21] | You, start. | 从你开始 |
| [16:26] | When you got scared about Marvin, | 当你为了马文惊慌失措时 |
| [16:28] | it felt like you were saying that | 感觉好像你在暗示 |
| [16:31] | I’m not as good a parent as you. | 我不是像你这样称职的父母 |
| [16:34] | You’re an amazing mom, | 你是个很棒的妈妈 |
| [16:36] | and I want to live up to that. | 我希望能和你一样 |
| [16:41] | Well, I probably have trust issues | 我可能会对别人缺乏信任 |
| [16:44] | because my dad wasn’t there for me. | 因为小时候爸爸总不在我身边 |
| [16:46] | But I know that you’ll always be there to catch Marvin. | 但我知道你会永远稳稳地接住马文 |
| [16:51] | You, next. | 接下来轮到你 |
| [16:55] | Having Klaus back in our lives | 跟克劳斯住在一起 |
| [16:58] | made me scared we’re never gonna escape the past. | 让我害怕我们永远摆脱不了过去 |
| [17:02] | I only wanted to help Klaus | 我之所以想帮克劳斯 |
| [17:03] | because I feel guilty about how happy I am with you. | 是因为我们的幸福 让我觉得有愧于他 |
| [17:09] | Next. | 到你们了 |
| [17:11] | I find you so sexy, | 我觉得你非常性感 |
| [17:13] | it just hurt that you don’t feel the same about me. | 而发现你对我没有同样的感觉 我很受伤 |
| [17:18] | I get turned on watching myself do the news during sex. | 我做爱时 会被播新闻的自己挑起”性”致 |
| [17:25] | Well, that’s cool. | 我可以接受 |
| [17:30] | Look at that, no legal documents needed. | 看看 不需要任何法律文件 |
| [17:32] | Just honesty and vulnerability. | 只需坦诚相对 愿意改变 |
| [17:34] | That’s love. | 这就是爱 |
| [17:36] | You see, I once loved someone, | 曾经我也深爱过某人 |
| [17:38] | only I didn’t say it enough. | 可惜我说得不够多 |
| [17:40] | Now I wish I could say it every day. | 现在我希望我每天都大声地说出来 |
| [17:43] | Hell, i don’t care if it’s crazy, | 管它疯不疯狂 |
| [17:45] | I-I’m doing it. | 我要弥补回来 |
| [17:48] | Hello, Darlene? | 达琳吗 |
| [17:49] | Put Tugboat on the line. | 让小拖船听电话 |
| [17:51] | Hey, buddy. | 老伙计 |
| [17:53] | Hey, it’s the man. | 是我啊 |
| [17:56] | And for a moment, | 在那一刻 |
| [17:57] | all felt right with the world. | 世界回到了正轨 |
| [18:00] | But that very night, | 但当天夜里 |
| [18:01] | the Autumn of Breakups would claim its first victims. | 分手之秋出现了第一对受害者 |
| [18:05] | …wish you a very safe and pleasant evening. | 祝您今晚平安 愉快 |
| [18:07] | Good night. | 晚安 |
| [18:09] | Good night. | 晚安 |
| [18:15] | Good night. | 晚安 |
| [18:17] | Good night. | 晚安 |
| [18:19] | Gute Nacht. | 晚安哟 |
| [18:20] | And you too, my babies. | 小宝贝们也晚安哈 |
| [18:21] | Oh, danke for the sweet eye kisses. | 谢谢你们甜蜜的眼皮吻 |
| [18:25] | After you, sir. | 您先请 先生 |
| [18:26] | Ladies first. | 女士优先 |
| [18:28] | I insist. | 你先丢 |
| [18:29] | I insist. | 你先丢 |
| [18:31] | – I’m not throwing mine out first. – I’m not throwing mine out first. | -我不会先扔掉 -我也不会先扔掉 |
| [18:33] | You’ve slept with half the women in New York. | 你跟全纽约一半的女孩都上过床 |
| [18:36] | I’m the one who needs a prenup. | 我才是需要婚前协议保护的那个 |
| [18:37] | You duped me out of thousands of dollars. | 你这些年骗走了我好几万大洋 |
| [18:39] | I’m the one who needs a prenup. | 我才是需要婚前协议保护的那个 |
| [18:41] | I just thought of some more stuff to add. | 我刚想到还可以加上几条 |
| [18:42] | I’m not half finished. | 我这还没完成一半呢 |
| [18:51] | Let’s dive in. | 我们开始吧 |
| [18:58] | It should be simpler than this, shouldn’t it? | 婚姻没那么复杂 不是吗 |
| [19:00] | Yeah. | 是 |
| [19:02] | Maybe it should be. | 或许不该这么复杂 |
| [19:06] | Barney, do you trust me? | 巴尼 你相信我吗 |
| [19:12] | No. | 不 |
| [19:15] | Do you trust me? | 你相信我吗 |
| [19:18] | No. | 不 |
| [19:23] | If we really need something | 如果我们需要这么大费周章 |
| [19:24] | this complicated to get married… | 才能够结婚的话 |
| [19:31] | Yeah. | 没错 |
| [19:33] | *I was anxious to be found | 我担心被人发现* |
| [19:39] | *You can always go home | 你却永远可以回到* |
| [19:42] | *to the safety of your cloud. | 你安全的云中城堡* |
| [19:47] | I’m sorry, buddy. | 我很遗憾 老兄 |
| [19:49] | Hey, there’s always wives two through eight. | 不过你还剩下老婆二号到八号 |
| [19:52] | They sounded pretty hot in your fantasy. | 从你的幻想中听来 她们蛮性感的 |
| [19:54] | All but wife seven. | 除了老婆七号 |
| [19:56] | She was just there ’cause her dad was rich. | 我娶她纯粹因为她爸有钱 |
| [19:59] | Actually, I’m okay. | 老实说 我没事 |
| [20:02] | I found out I’ll never trust someone enough to get married, | 我发现自己不可能找到 信任到可以结婚的那个人 |
| [20:05] | and that’s fine. | 那也没关系 |
| [20:07] | My single life is, and always will be, | 我的单身生活现在是 也永远将是 |
| [20:11] | legen… wait for it… | 传 等一下 |
| [20:13] | 晚些时日 | |
| [20:16] | …dary! | 奇 |
| [20:17] | My wedding is gonna be legendary. | 我的婚礼一定非常传奇 |
| [20:21] | So, prenup? | 那么 婚前协议呢 |
| [20:23] | Not this time. | 这次不用签了 |
| [20:25] | Oh, hey you. Ready for lunch? | 亲爱的 可以去吃午饭了吗 |
| [20:27] | Totally. | 当然 |
| [20:32] | Thanks. | 谢了 |
| [20:35] | See, Tugboat? | 看到没 小拖船 |
| [20:36] | That’s love. Yeah. | 这就是爱 没错 |
| [20:45] | You see, Ludwig has started to polish the doorknobs, | 路德维格准备给门把手打蜡了 |
| [20:49] | but Wilhelm has already completed this task! | 可维尔汉姆早就打过一次蜡了 |
| [21:00] | You know, it’s big comedy. | 这虽然是喜剧 |
| [21:03] | but you really care about the characters. | 但你会真心在乎其中的角色 |