| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:02] | Kids, October of 2012 kicked off | 孩子们 公元二零一二年的十月 |
| [00:04] | The Autumn of Breakups. | 分手季来临了 |
| [00:06] | And Barney, having broken his engagement with Quinn, | 在跟奎恩分手后 |
| [00:08] | was slowly trying to pick himself back up. | 巴尼蜀黍正试着回到单身生活 |
| [00:11] | Welcome to Bangtoberfest! | 欢迎来到十月闪炮节 |
| [00:15] | Have a Bangtoberfest T-shirt! | 来件十月闪炮节T恤吧 |
| [00:17] | I’m back! | 我又回来了 |
| [00:19] | Have a Bangtoberfest T-shirt! | 免费的十月闪炮节T恤 |
| [00:20] | I’m single again! | 哥又单身了 |
| [00:23] | Sorry about your eye! | 真对不住您的眼睛嘞 |
| [00:25] | I’m available! | 我今晚有空哦 |
| [00:27] | “Bangtoberfest: | 十月闪炮节 |
| [00:28] | This Time It’s Really Not Personal.” | “单纯只为干一炮” |
| [00:31] | Barney, you just went through | 巴尼 你才结束了一段 |
| [00:33] | some really big emotional stuff. | 非常认真投入的感情 |
| [00:35] | You need to give yourself some time to heal. | 你得给自己一段时间去恢复 |
| [00:37] | Robin, I spent seven grand on merch. | 罗宾 我在这个节日的商品上花了七千多大洋 |
| [00:39] | This is happening. | 哥已经在恢复了 |
| [00:43] | Hey. | 嘿 |
| [00:45] | Hey. Hi, Marshall. | 嘿 马修 |
| [00:46] | So, Lily’s dad just showed up | 那个 两天前 莉莉的爸爸 |
| [00:48] | two days ago unannounced. | 不请自来了 |
| [00:51] | Remember when I bought all those | 还记得那些我买的 |
| [00:52] | Mexican fireworks so I’d never | 多到用不完而且可以撑到 |
| [00:53] | have to buy Christmas presents again? | 圣诞节都不用再买礼物了的墨西哥爆竹么 |
| [00:55] | Oh, God, you blew up the house. | 噢 天啊 房子都被你给炸没了 |
| [00:57] | Blew up the house? | 房子被我炸没了 |
| [00:58] | Oh, no. | 没有的事 |
| [01:00] | Nothing like that, no. | 压根就不那样 |
| [01:02] | No, the fireworks blew up the garage. | 爆竹只是把车库给炸了 |
| [01:04] | The house burned down. | 房子是烧没的 |
| [01:06] | Holy frijoles, | 我的妈呀 |
| [01:07] | do I smell brownies? | 是布朗尼的味道么 |
| [01:10] | We covered that fire on the news. | 我报道过这件失火新闻 |
| [01:12] | I had no idea “Naked man runs back into inferno | 我压根没想到那个“跑回炼狱里去救回土豆沙拉的赤裸侠” |
| [01:16] | to rescue potato salad” Was Mickey. | 说的居然是米奇 |
| [01:19] | My hour’s up. Your turn, Marshall. | 我的时间结束了 换你上岗了 马修 |
| [01:21] | Oh, no. | 噢 不 |
| [01:23] | Baby Marvin, did you just go poo-poo? | 小马尔文 你刚便便了么 |
| [01:26] | Craziest thing. | 太神奇了 |
| [01:27] | He just went poo-poo this very second. | 他就在刚刚这一秒便便了 |
| [01:29] | Are you sure this | 你确定么 |
| [01:31] | poo-poo didn’t happen on your watch | 这泡屎不是在你的看管下拉的吗 |
| [01:33] | and you just ran out the clock until it was my problem? | 然后你就干等到你时间到了 然后好让我去处理这问题 |
| [01:36] | Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, right. | 噢 是啊 是啊 就是这样 |
| [01:37] | What kind of mother lets her son sit in his own filth | 得是怎样的麻麻会让自己宝宝在他自己的便便上 |
| [01:41] | for an extra nine minutes and 42 seconds? | 多坐九分四十二秒呢 |
| [01:48] | I got my eye on you, Aldrin. | 我盯着你呢 爱尔德林 |
| [01:52] | It’s watering right now, but I got my eye on you. | 虽然现在哥被熏得流泪 但我时刻监督着你 |
| [01:58] | I can’t believe I have to go | 真不敢相信下周一 我就得回去工作了 |
| [02:00] | back to work on Monday and we still haven’t found a nanny. | 而且到现在我们还找不到保姆 |
| [02:03] | Well, if Grandpa Mickey’s there, couldn’t he just… | 既然米奇爷爷在的话 他能不能… |
| [02:05] | Are you kidding? | 开什么玩笑 |
| [02:07] | My dad was never there for me when I was a kid. | 我小时候我爸就从来没照顾过我 |
| [02:09] | And when he was… | 当他在的时候… |
| [02:13] | What’s wrong, Daddy? | 怎么啦 爸爸 |
| [02:14] | Oh, Daddy can’t pick a horse to save his freakin’ life. | 爸爸要选匹小马来改变这悲催的命运呀 真心不好挑 |
| [02:18] | All I need is just one lucky number. | 我只需要一个幸运的数字就够了 |
| [02:22] | Hey, when’s your birthday? | 对了 你生日是什么时候 |
| [02:24] | Today. | 今天 |
| [02:26] | Well… | 好吧 |
| [02:29] | We’ve got to find a nanny, and my dad’s definitely not it. | 我们要找个保姆 我爸绝对干不了这个 |
| [02:32] | Well, um, and this doesn’t solve your nanny problem, | 嗯 如果你没法解决保姆问题 |
| [02:35] | but if you’re in need of a babysitter, | 你又很需要人看管孩子的话 |
| [02:37] | Nick and I could do it. | 我和尼克可以代劳 |
| [02:38] | We’re really clicking as a couple. | 我们是超合拍的情侣 你懂的 |
| [02:41] | Um, if any couple is clicking these days, | 呃 如果非要说哪对情侣超合拍的话 |
| [02:44] | it’s me and Victoria. | 那必须是我和维多利亚 |
| [02:47] | Do you think that you and Victoria | 你不会真的认为你和维多利亚 |
| [02:50] | are clicking more than me and Nick? | 比我和尼克更合拍吧 |
| [02:52] | Do you think you and Nick are… | 你和尼克也算合拍吗 |
| [02:54] | Oh, that’s precious. | 噢 真不容易 |
| [02:56] | Kids, when you’re in a new relationship | 孩子们 当你处在一段新恋情中 |
| [02:59] | and you’re competing with your ex for who’s happier, | 并且还和你的前任比赛谁更幸福的话 |
| [03:02] | it can get ugly | 这个过程真上不了台面 |
| [03:03] | Anyway, I should get going. | 随你怎么说 我要走了 |
| [03:06] | I have to go get a key made for Nick. | 我要去给尼克配一把 |
| [03:08] | For my apartment. | 我公寓的钥匙 |
| [03:10] | Ha-burn. | 傻眼了吧 |
| [03:11] | Hey, maybe the locksmith who made the key | 嘿 也许帮我给维多利亚配钥匙的锁匠 |
| [03:13] | I gave to Victoria will give you a deal. | 能帮上你这个忙呢 |
| [03:15] | Oh, wait, he won’t remember me. | 哦 对了 他可能不记得我了 |
| [03:16] | It was three weeks ago. | 因为那是三周前的事了 |
| [03:17] | Ha-double burn. | 两只眼都傻了吧 |
| [03:18] | Nick signed for a package when I wasn’t there. | 我不在的时候 尼克帮我签了一个包裹 |
| [03:20] | Victoria keeps tampons at my apartment. | 维多利亚把姨妈棉都放在我家了 |
| [03:22] | Damn it! | 她大爷的 |
| [03:24] | 老爸老妈浪漫史 | |
| [03:37] | The next day, Lily and Marshall’s | 第二天 马修和莉莉的找保姆行动 |
| [03:39] | nanny search hit pay dirt. | 取得了重大进展 |
| [03:40] | Mr. And Mrs. Eriksen, | 埃里克森夫妇 |
| [03:42] | I promise to create a safe, nurturing environment | 我保证我会营造一个安全舒适 |
| [03:46] | full of learning, laughter and love. | 充满欢声笑语的有爱氛围 |
| [03:49] | So that even when | 有多有爱呢 |
| [03:51] | we have to eat lima beans | 有爱到即使我们吃了难吃豆 |
| [03:52] | or we get a boo-boo on our knee, | 或者膝盖粘上了粑粑 |
| [03:54] | we know everything will be just fine. | 我们都记得 一切都还那么美好 |
| [03:57] | And do you know why? | 你知道为什么吗 |
| [03:59] | Because you’re an angel sent from heaven? | 因为你是天堂派来的天使吗? |
| [04:01] | I want to bury my head in the safety of your bosom. | 我好想投进你温暖的怀抱 |
| [04:03] | Because Mrs. Buckminster is here. | 因为巴克敏斯特太太在这儿 |
| [04:07] | The search is over. | 我们再也不用寻找了 |
| [04:09] | Mrs. Buckminster, we just need to know your salary. | 巴克敏斯特太太 告诉我们你想要的薪水 好吗 |
| [04:12] | Oh, delightful! | 喔 好呀 |
| [04:14] | Well, my weekly fee is… | 我的周薪是… |
| [04:18] | There, there. | 别哭了 别哭了 |
| [04:19] | I’m sure you’ll find someone you like just as much. | 我相信你会找到一个差不多的人的 |
| [04:23] | No, we won’t! | 不 我们找不到了 |
| [04:24] | Not like you! | 没人像你一样 |
| [04:27] | Hey, Robin, can I borrow a stamp? | 嘿 罗宾 能借一张邮票吗 |
| [04:29] | Oh, wait, this wedding reply card already has one. | 哦 不用了 这个婚礼回执上已经有一张了 |
| [04:33] | Why, you ask? | 你想问为什么 |
| [04:34] | Victoria and I are RSVPing to a wedding… | 我和我家维儿正在给一个婚礼寄回执 |
| [04:38] | in Jamaica… | 这婚礼六个月后 |
| [04:39] | six months from now. | 在牙买加举行 |
| [04:41] | Ha-triple burn. | 三只眼都傻了吧 |
| [04:42] | Oh. | 哦 |
| [04:44] | Jamaica. | 牙买加 |
| [04:45] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [04:46] | That’s an island, right? | 是个岛吧 |
| [04:47] | Depends where you’re going with this. | 那得看你怎么想了 |
| [04:50] | All the way to the island of Hawaii. | 在去夏威夷岛的路上 |
| [04:53] | Why, you ask? | 你想问为什么是吧 |
| [04:54] | Well, I was invited | 好吧 我被邀请 |
| [04:55] | to spend New Year’s there… | 去那儿过新年了 |
| [04:56] | last night when I met Nick’s parents. | 就在昨晚 我见尼克父母的时候 |
| [04:59] | Ha-aloha burn. | 傻眼傻眼傻死你 |
| [05:00] | Have you, um, | 你是否…呃… |
| [05:02] | met Victoria’s parents, Ted? | 见过维多利亚的父母呀 泰德同学 |
| [05:04] | As a matter of fact, I haven’t. | 事实上 我没有 |
| [05:08] | Because they’re dead. | 因为他们去世了 |
| [05:10] | Are they, Ted? | 真的吗 泰德 |
| [05:13] | Are they really dead? | 他们真的去世了吗 |
| [05:14] | No. | 没有 |
| [05:17] | Damn it! | 你大爷的 |
| [05:18] | Bangtoberfest is a flop! | “十月闪炮节”就一大杯具 |
| [05:21] | I can’t think of an innovative way to bang chicks | 我想不出任何一种新的泡妞方式 |
| [05:25] | that properly honors my return to the game. | 来使我荣耀回归 |
| [05:27] | Sure, I’ve tried some old reliables. | 当然我也试了一些旧的稳妥方案 |
| [05:30] | Ten unpaid parking tickets? | 十张未付停车罚单么 |
| [05:31] | I suppose there is one way I could… “Get you off.” | 我想只有一条路可以让你摆”脱”了 |
| [05:39] | No! | 不是这样的 |
| [05:40] | I’ve used that admittedly awesome line a thousand times. | 这个神句都用了好几千遍了 |
| [05:44] | You’re better than this, Barney! | 你该更强些啊 巴尼君 |
| [05:46] | Well, the evidence is pretty incriminating, but… | 怎么说呢 现有的证据对你不太有利 |
| [05:49] | I suppose there is one way I could “Get you off.” | 但我有一个办法能让你摆”脱” |
| [05:54] | Damn it! What? | 我妹的 我在干嘛 |
| [05:56] | Bangtoberfest is about innovation, | 十月闪炮节是一种创新 |
| [05:59] | about ideas. | 观念上的创新 |
| [06:00] | Bangtoberfest used to mean something. | 它曾有着深远的意义 |
| [06:03] | You just made it up yesterday. | 这不是你昨天刚编出来的么 |
| [06:04] | Enough questions. | 问够了没 |
| [06:05] | I need time to think! | 我得去好好想想 |
| [06:10] | So, how’s the nanny search going, Lil? | 保姆找的怎么样了 莉莉 |
| [06:11] | Lousy. | 垃圾 |
| [06:13] | Mrs. Buckminster was a spoonful of sugar. | 巴克敏斯特太太是如此和蔼可亲 |
| [06:16] | But so far, everyone we can afford on this Web site | 但目前 我们在”嘿保姆保姆”网站上唯一能雇得起的 |
| [06:18] | HeyNannyNanny.com is Scary Poppins. | 只有仙女保姆 斯卡利・波平斯了 |
| [06:22] | But Lily and Marshall needed a nanny, | 可莉莉和马修真很需要一位保姆 |
| [06:24] | so they forged ahead with their search. | 所以他们继续埋头苦寻 |
| [06:27] | So, zero experience as a nanny? | 这么说 你没做过保姆 |
| [06:29] | Right. But in rehab, I was in charge of the cats. | 嗯啊 不过我在戒毒期间负责照看小猫 |
| [06:32] | And only two died, so I figured… | 也就只死掉了两只嘛 所以我想 |
| [06:35] | I’m available. | 我有空哟 |
| [06:38] | How do you feel about spanking? | 你如何看待体罚 |
| [06:40] | For eight bucks an hour, you can do whatever you want to me. | 一小时八块钱 你想对我做什么就做什么 |
| [06:44] | I’m available. | 我有空哟 |
| [06:45] | Dad, we know. | 爸 我们知道了 |
| [06:46] | I wasn’t talking to you. | 我没在跟你讲话 |
| [06:49] | Finally, they met Julie Jorgensen. | 最后 他们遇见了朱莉・约格森 |
| [06:52] | You’re from St. Cloud, Minnesota? | 你是明尼苏达州圣克劳德镇的 |
| [06:55] | I’m from St. Cloud. | 我也是圣克劳德人 |
| [06:56] | Really? Oh, you must know my dad, George Jorgensen? | 真的 喔 那你肯定知道我爸爸 乔治・约格森 |
| [06:59] | Of course. | 当然知道 |
| [07:00] | George Jorgensen’s Organs. | 乔治・约格森风琴公司 |
| [07:01] | Last year, my brother joined the business. | 去年 我哥哥也加入了公司 |
| [07:02] | Really? Who knew that Morgan Jorgensen would go into organs? | 哎呀 谁能想到摩根・约格森也开始造风琴了 |
| [07:05] | Anyway, Julie… | 这样的话 我问你朱莉 |
| [07:06] | Is it still called George Jorgensen’s Organs | 你爸爸那儿还叫乔治・约格森风琴公司 |
| [07:08] | or did they change it to George Jorgensen and Son Organs? | 还是把名字改成乔治・约格森和儿子风琴公司 |
| [07:10] | They changed it to George and Morgan Jorgensen’s Organs. | 他们把名字改成乔治和摩根・约格森风琴公司 |
| [07:13] | Guess whose idea that was? | 猜猜那是谁的主意 |
| [07:14] | -Morgan’s. -Morgan’s. | -摩根的呗*2 |
| [07:16] | They just opened a new shop out of state. | 他们刚在州外开了一家新店 |
| [07:18] | -Oh, yeah? Where? -Oregon. | -嗯 在哪儿 -俄勒冈州 |
| [07:19] | What’s that one called? | 那家店叫什么名字 |
| [07:20] | Piano Town. | 钢琴城 |
| [07:23] | Well, you have experience, | 你看 你有工作经验 |
| [07:25] | and I think it’s safe to say you have my husband’s approval. | 而且我敢说我老公很乐意请你工作 |
| [07:28] | What’s your salary? | 你要多少薪水 |
| [07:30] | Oh, um, it’s right there. | 喔 就在这儿 |
| [07:33] | Julie, we would love for you to be our nanny. | 朱莉 我们很乐意请你给我们的孩子当保姆 |
| [07:36] | Oh, thank you so much. | 好啊 多谢 |
| [07:38] | Um, I just have one last interview today, | 呃 我今天还有一个面试 |
| [07:40] | but to be honest,I can’t imagine | 说真的 我觉得我可能遇不到 |
| [07:41] | liking anyone more than I like you guys. | 比你们更好的人了 |
| [07:43] | Oh… | 喔 |
| [07:45] | Okay, bye. | 好滴 拜拜 |
| [07:46] | Bye. | 拜拜 |
| [07:47] | Yay. | 太好啦 |
| [07:50] | Well, she was a total bitch. | 切 丫就一贱货 |
| [07:53] | That night, Lily and Marshall called Julie | 那天晚上 莉莉和马修给朱莉打电话 |
| [07:56] | hoping she’d accept the job. | 希望她能接受这份工作 |
| [07:57] | I’m so sorry, I can’t. | 十分抱歉 我不能做了 |
| [08:00] | Don’t tell us you took the other job. | 别说你又另找到一份保姆工作 |
| [08:02] | No, I didn’t. I’m not taking any nanny job. | 不 我没有 我没有做保姆 |
| [08:04] | I don’t understand. | 我不明白 |
| [08:06] | The most amazing thing happened | 在跟你们面试之后 |
| [08:08] | at my next interview after you guys. | 发生了一件超棒的事 |
| [08:09] | I fell in love with a single dad | 我爱上了一位单身父亲 |
| [08:11] | who turns out to be a billionaire. | 而他是个亿万富翁 |
| [08:13] | Tomorrow, we’re heading off to Paris in his private jet. | 明天 我们就要坐他的私人飞机飞巴黎 |
| [08:16] | It’s gonna be, as he would say, legend– wait for it… | 就像他说的，这一切即将成为传–静候 |
| [08:20] | Barney! | 巴尼 |
| [08:23] | Ix-nay on the eal-ray ame-nay. | 要-不 说我的 实-真 名-姓 |
| [08:26] | Mr. and Mrs. Eriksen? | 埃里克森夫妇 |
| [08:28] | You son of a… | 你个… |
| [08:31] | itch-bay! | 球儿-混 |
| [08:38] | Look, Barney’s our friend, for some reason, | 你看 不知道为啥 巴尼是我们的朋友 |
| [08:41] | and everything he told you was a lie. | 告诉你 他说的一切都是谎话 |
| [08:43] | But the good news is | 可好消息是 |
| [08:45] | you’re free to come work for us. | 你还可以来给我们工作嘛 |
| [08:47] | I’m sorry, I can’t nanny for anyone | 抱歉 我绝不会给和那个怪物 |
| [08:49] | who’s friends with this monster. | 是朋友的人做保姆 |
| [08:57] | Look, I’d offer you guys coffee, | 你看 我还想跟你们坐下来喝点咖啡 |
| [08:59] | but I have another nanny interview | 但十五分钟后 |
| [09:00] | in about 15 minutes, so… | 还有另一个保姆过来面试 所以 |
| [09:02] | Barney, quick question: why are you interviewing nannies? | 就一个问题 巴尼 你为嘛要面试保姆 |
| [09:05] | Glad you asked! | 多亏你问了 |
| [09:06] | You guys were all pressuring me to think of | 你们几个总是逼着我想出 |
| [09:08] | a revolutionary new way to get chicks for Bangtoberfest. | 一种革命性方式来庆祝十月闪炮节 |
| [09:10] | And frankly, I was stumped. | 说真的 我那时真没头绪 |
| [09:12] | Until… | 直到… |
| [09:14] | So far, everyone we can afford on this Web site | 但目前 我们在”嘿保姆保姆”网站上唯一能雇得起的 |
| [09:16] | HeyNannyNanny.com is Scary Poppins. | 只有仙女保姆斯卡利・波平斯了 |
| [09:20] | And there it was. | 突然灵光乍现 |
| [09:21] | The Big Bro in the sky had answered my prayers. | 天上的老大哥回应了我的祈祷 |
| [09:25] | Almighty-five. | 万能的上帝之击掌 |
| [09:26] | Ow. | 嗷 |
| [09:28] | I’d introduce you to little Baby Edgar, | 我给你们介绍下小宝宝埃德加 |
| [09:30] | but one, he’s napping, | 有一点 他还在睡觉呢 |
| [09:32] | and two, he doesn’t exist. | 还有一点 他根本就不存在 |
| [09:36] | And these nannies are really falling for this? | 那些保姆们还真相信你了 |
| [09:39] | Yeah, these toys don’t even make sense for a baby. | 也是啊 这些玩具根本就不是婴儿玩的 |
| [09:42] | You’ve got an air rifle, you got the exact race track | 这儿是把气枪 那是我小时候曾经玩过的 |
| [09:45] | with the double loopty-loop I had as a kid! | 双环四驱车赛道 哇 |
| [09:47] | Oh, can I open it, can I open it, can I open it? | 我能拆开吗 我能拆开吗 我能拆开吗 |
| [09:50] | What about Baby Edgar’s mom? | 那埃德加的妈妈去哪儿了 |
| [09:52] | Oh, that’s a sad story. | 噢 那可是个令人伤心的故事 |
| [09:56] | And in the end, the coroner’s report confirmed | 但到最后 验尸官的报告证实了 |
| [09:59] | what I already feared: | 我所害怕的一点 |
| [10:00] | the female body cannot withstand that many consecutive orgasms. | 女性的身体不能承受那么多连续的高潮 |
| [10:08] | I blame myself. | 我一直都在责备我自己 |
| [10:11] | Okay, does anybody have six nine-volt batteries? | 好吧 谁有6节9伏的电池 |
| [10:16] | Once I got the nannies all sympathetic, | 每次我得到这些保姆的同情 |
| [10:19] | I had to check their qualifications. | 我就要查查她的资历 |
| [10:22] | I’d like to see how you handle bath time. | 我想看看你怎么处理婴儿洗澡的问题 |
| [10:24] | Follow me to the tub. | 跟着我来浴缸吧 |
| [10:26] | Should I get the baby? | 我应该带着孩子过来吗 |
| [10:28] | No. | 不 |
| [10:30] | I’m just gonna take the batteries | 我就是想把这些电池 |
| [10:32] | out of these smoke detectors. Cool? Cool. | 从烟雾报警器里拿出来 行吗 好的 |
| [10:35] | Once the interview was over, I went in for the kill. | 每次我面试完 我就要使出杀手锏 |
| [10:40] | You’re perfect for the job. | 你很适合这份工作 |
| [10:42] | So, congratulations, you’re hi… | 所以 恭喜你 你被雇… |
| [10:44] | No. | 不 |
| [10:46] | I can’t do this. | 我不能这么做 |
| [10:47] | I find you very attractive, | 我觉得你很吸引人 |
| [10:50] | and it wouldn’t be appropriate. | 我这么做不是很合适 |
| [10:55] | It wouldn’t be appropriate. | 我这么做不是很合适 |
| [11:01] | It wouldn’t be appropriate. | 我这么做不是很合适 |
| [11:05] | I repeat– it would not be appropriate. | 我是说 我这么做不是很合适 |
| [11:13] | It was like taking candy from an imaginary baby! | 就像是从一个虚构出来的小孩那儿抢糖吃一样 |
| [11:17] | Barney, I just went five months with no help, | 巴尼 有五个月都没人帮我了 |
| [11:19] | and interviewed 92 nannies before finding one we liked, | 在遇到我们喜欢的那个妞之前 我们还面试了92个保姆 |
| [11:22] | and you ruined everything | 你在我得回去工作的前一晚 |
| [11:24] | the night before I’m supposed to go back to work? | 把一切都毁了 |
| [11:27] | Thank you for being the most immature person | 真心谢谢你 你是我见过的 |
| [11:29] | I have ever met. | 最不成熟的人 |
| [11:31] | Marshall, let’s go. | 马修 我们走 |
| [11:32] | Five more minutes! | 再玩五分钟 |
| [11:33] | Now. | 现在就走 |
| [11:36] | I’ll be right back. Okay. | 我很快就回来 |
| [11:47] | I’ll miss you. | 我会想你的 |
| [11:52] | Oh! Oh! | 哦 |
| [11:55] | Overcompensating a bit? | 太作了吧 |
| [11:57] | Why would I need to overcompensate? | 我哪里做作了啊 |
| [12:00] | I am… | 我… |
| [12:02] | …deliriously happy in my perfect relationship. | 在这段完美的恋情中是非常幸福的 |
| [12:05] | What about what I just witnessed not two minutes ago? | 那我在两分钟前看到的怎么说 |
| [12:09] | How can the Giants pass on third and one?! | 巨人队怎么能以3:1给超了 |
| [12:12] | Honey, it’s okay. | 亲爱的 没事的 |
| [12:14] | It’s the first quarter, and the Browns are only up by three… | 这才第一节 布朗队才拿了3分 |
| [12:16] | Robin, I don’t want you to fix this. | 罗宾 我不是想让你去解决问题 |
| [12:18] | I just want to feel heard. | 我只是想要被倾听 |
| [12:23] | First of all, the Giants were smart | 首先 巨人队很聪明地 |
| [12:25] | not to run on my Dawg Pound defense. | 没有通过我的道格庞德的防守 |
| [12:27] | They suck, Ted. I know. | -他们糟透了 泰德 -我知道 |
| [12:28] | And two– | 第二 |
| [12:30] | there is no way that you like being with a guy | 你不可能喜欢和那家伙在一起 |
| [12:33] | who’s so emotional and needy. | 他太感性又太缺爱 |
| [12:34] | You want to dance, Mosby? | 你想挑事是吧 莫斯比 |
| [12:36] | Let’s talk about yesterday. | 我们来说说昨天吧 |
| [12:39] | Hi! You guys, I’m so sorry I’m so late. | 嗨 你们好 对不起我回来太晚了 |
| [12:42] | I’m gonna run upstairs, change, I’ll be back | 我会在5分钟之内 跑上楼 换衣服 |
| [12:45] | in five minutes. | 然后回来 |
| [12:47] | Take your time, sweetie. | 慢慢来 亲爱的 |
| [12:52] | Victoria’s a slob! | 维多利亚是个邋遢鬼 |
| [12:54] | Well, at least I’m not dating a girl. | 嗯 至少我没有和娘炮约会啊 |
| [12:56] | You know what I mean. | 你知道我什么意思 |
| [12:58] | Hey, you know what? | 嘿 你知道吗 |
| [12:59] | I-I really appreciate how sensitive | 我真的很喜欢他是这么的 |
| [13:01] | and in touch he is with his… | 细心和感性 还有他的… |
| [13:04] | God, who am I kidding? | 天啊 我这不是搞笑么 |
| [13:06] | 20 bucks says he is crying in the ladies’ room right now. | 我赌20刀 他在女厕所哭呢 |
| [13:09] | Well, at least when he’s finished, he’s gonna flush. | 嗯 至少当他哭完 他还会冲一下厕所 |
| [13:15] | So, just as Lily was about to call in sick | 正当莉莉准备在在返工的第一天 |
| [13:18] | on her first day back to work… | 打电话请病假的时候 |
| [13:26] | Good morning! | 早上好 |
| [13:27] | Mrs. Buckminster, hold me and make everything okay! | 巴克敏斯特太太 抱抱我 什么都好说 |
| [13:31] | I mean, uh… what are you doing here? | 我的意思是 额 你来干嘛 |
| [13:35] | A Mr. Stinson called the agency and offered to pay my salary. | 一个叫斯丁森的先生给中介打电话给了我薪水 |
| [13:40] | Wow. Really? | 哇噢 真的 |
| [13:42] | It’s a nice gesture, but I’m still pissed. | 他这行为很不错 但我还是很生气 |
| [13:45] | He also sent along this. | 他还让我捎来一份这个东西 |
| [13:48] | Are the batteries…? | 电池呢 |
| [13:50] | Yes, the batteries are included, dear. | 电池早装上咯 亲 |
| [13:53] | Yes! | 太好了 |
| [13:55] | Now, off to work, you two. | 现在 你们俩 追求事业去吧 |
| [13:57] | Mr. Marvin and I are going to get acquainted. | 小马尔文先生和我还要熟悉一下 |
| [14:00] | Great. | 好 |
| [14:02] | I can’t wait to hand him off | 我等不及把他放到你手里了 |
| [14:03] | and-and finally get some freedom. | 然后 终于能解放了 |
| [14:05] | You deserve it. Now hand him over. | 你确实该解放了 来 递过来 |
| [14:08] | Hand him over, yup. | 递过去 好的 |
| [14:11] | I’ll just take little Marvin off your hands then. | 我这就把小马尔文从你手里接走 |
| [14:14] | Take him off my hands. | 从我手里接走 |
| [14:16] | There he goes. | 来吧 |
| [14:18] | Ready to receive him! | 准备好要接他了哟 |
| [14:20] | I can’t give Marvin to a stranger! | 我不能把小马尔文送到一个陌生人手里 |
| [14:27] | Okay, somebody who’s not in the middle of a race | 好吧 没在比赛的人 |
| [14:30] | should probably go talk to her. | 得去和她谈谈 |
| [14:35] | I’m sorry Mrs. Buckminster | 对不起 巴克敏斯特太太 |
| [14:37] | we’ve decided we’re not going to use a nanny afterall. | 我们决定以后不找保姆了 |
| [14:40] | You’re fired. | 你被解雇了 |
| [14:41] | Calm down. | 淡定 |
| [14:42] | Lily, you’re just nervous about spending | 莉莉 你只是因为要和小马尔文 |
| [14:45] | your first day away from Marvin. | 分开一天而紧张 |
| [14:46] | That’s perfectly normal. | 这很正常 |
| [14:48] | Oh, I am holding on to you forever. | 噢 我要永远抱着你 |
| [14:51] | And when I die and I become a skeleton | 哪怕我死了 变成骷髅了 |
| [14:52] | I’ll still be holding you. Yes. | 我依然会抱着你 么么 |
| [14:57] | Last night, Nick cried when I killed a spider. | 昨晚 尼克因为我杀死了一只蜘蛛 哭了 |
| [15:02] | You should have brought that spider over to my house | 你应该把那只蜘蛛带到我家 |
| [15:04] | to feast on the ant colony | 这样可以喂我家的那群 |
| [15:06] | breeding on Victoria’s unwashed dishes. | 被维多利亚没洗的盘子招来的蚂蚁 |
| [15:09] | Whoa! | 哇 |
| [15:11] | Barney, what happened to you? | 巴尼 怎么了 |
| [15:13] | It was a nightmare. | 简直是梦魇啊 |
| [15:16] | I’m walking down the street, minding my own business, | 我沿着街走 想着自己的事情 |
| [15:18] | and I see one of the nannies | 然后我看到一个我验过的保姆 |
| [15:20] | that I interviewed, and I’m thinking, | 然后我在想 |
| [15:22] | “Maybe I can get her behind a Dumpster | 也许我可以让她到垃圾箱后面 |
| [15:24] | and interview her again.” | 然后再验一次 |
| [15:25] | But then… | 但是 |
| [15:29] | And then… | 然后 |
| [15:31] | They were everywhere. | 她们到处都是 |
| [15:33] | I was surrounded! | 我被包围了 |
| [15:36] | Hey. Hi. | -嘿 -嗨 |
| [15:37] | Did you | 你丫 |
| [15:39] | really think you could get away with this? | 真的以为你能逃的了吗 |
| [15:42] | As a matter of fact, I did, yeah. | 事实上 我觉得能 |
| [15:45] | Time for your nap! | 好好歇一会儿吧你 |
| [15:48] | I woke up in a Dumpster | 醒来时我在一个垃圾站 |
| [15:50] | covered in diapers. | 被一堆尿布盖着 |
| [15:52] | And I found a pacifier | 我还从一个“不可说”的地方 |
| [15:54] | somewhere I’m not willing to discuss. | 找到了一枚奶嘴 |
| [15:58] | What is wrong with me?! | 我到底怎么了 |
| [16:00] | You’re still getting over Quinn. | 你还没从奎恩那儿缓过来 |
| [16:02] | You can’t just dive right back into single Barney mode. | 你不能一头扎回单身巴尼模式 |
| [16:05] | But I can’t stop myself! | 但是我停不下来 |
| [16:06] | I’m out of control! | 我控制不了自己了 |
| [16:07] | No, I’m not. I’m fine! | 不 才不呢 我好着呢 |
| [16:09] | Now, | 现在 |
| [16:10] | if you’ll excuse me, | 我要先离开一下 |
| [16:11] | that blonde at the bar looks as loose as my rear molars. | 吧台旁那个金发妞看来松得和我的大牙一样好“拔” |
| [16:16] | Stop me! Don’t stop me! I’m fine. Help! | 快阻止我 别阻止我 我挺好的 救命 |
| [16:18] | Being single’s great! | 单身最棒了 |
| [16:23] | You know, Victoria’s messiness | 你知道吗 维多利亚乱糟糟的习惯 |
| [16:26] | just forces me to grow as a cleaner. | 迫使我成为了一个爱干净的人 |
| [16:30] | Totally. And without Nick, | 完全正确 如果没有尼克 |
| [16:33] | who’s gonna hem my pants? | 谁帮我缝裤边 |
| [16:34] | To making these relationships last. | 敬可持续发展的爱情 |
| [16:37] | Both relationships would implode within the month. | 这两段感情在这个月内都玩儿完了 |
| [16:42] | Hey, sweetie. | 嘿 亲爱的 |
| [16:43] | Hey. Did you guys conk out? | 嘿 你们两个都累晕了吗 |
| [16:46] | Yeah, I guess we did. | 我想是的 |
| [16:48] | What time is it? | 几点了 |
| [16:49] | 5:00. | 五点 |
| [16:50] | Wow. We slept all day! | 哇 我们睡了一整天了呢 |
| [16:53] | Quick question. Um, | 问个问题啊 |
| [16:55] | where’s Marvin? | 马尔文在哪里 |
| [16:56] | Right here. | 这里啊 |
| [17:10] | Hey, gang. What’s the big whoop? | 嘿 伙计们 一惊一乍的做什么 |
| [17:13] | Marvin! | 马尔文 |
| [17:14] | Dad, what happened? | 老爸 发生什么事了 |
| [17:15] | Well, when I came back this morning from my jog, | 呃 我早上跑完步回来 |
| [17:18] | Marshall was gone, | 马修已经走了 |
| [17:20] | and I couldn’t find Mrs. What’s-her-face. | 保姆“爱谁谁”太太也没在 |
| [17:22] | And you two were sawing logs, so I figured I’d lend a hand. | 然后我发现你们俩睡得跟死猪似的 我就来搭把手 |
| [17:37] | Then, why did I wake up | 那 为啥我醒来的时候 |
| [17:39] | holding a monkey? | 怀里抱了个猴子 |
| [17:41] | Well, a little later, I got kind of hungry. | 这个 没过多久我有点小饿然后就 |
| [17:51] | So I gave him a bath, and put his diaper rash ointment on, | 而后我给他洗了个澡 涂上护臀膏 |
| [17:54] | and fed him strained peas, not bananas, | 喂了他豌豆泥 没喂香蕉 |
| [17:56] | ’cause he had bananas yesterday, | 因为他昨天才吃了的 |
| [17:58] | and I did the laundry, | 我还把衣服洗了 |
| [17:59] | finished my burrito, | 干掉了我的卷饼 |
| [18:01] | put him down for his nap at noon, | 安顿他睡了个午觉 |
| [18:02] | sterilized the bottles, and then we just went to the park. | 把瓶子消了毒 然后我们刚刚从公园回来 |
| [18:05] | Okay. | 以上 |
| [18:06] | Wow. That’s incredible. | 哇塞 这不科学 |
| [18:09] | When did you get so good with kids? | 你什么时候起这么会带小孩的 |
| [18:11] | You know something, honey, you don’t remember this, | 我得告诉你一些你早已淡忘的事情 宝贝 |
| [18:13] | but, um, for the first few years of your life, | 在你人生最初的几年里 |
| [18:16] | your mom worked, and I was a stay-at-home dad. | 你的妈妈在工作 所以我就成了家里蹲奶爸 |
| [18:19] | I thought Grandma and Grandpa took care of me. | 我以为是爷爷奶奶来照顾我的 |
| [18:21] | Well, they visited a lot, | 是啊 他们是经常来看你 |
| [18:22] | but I was the guy who took care of you. | 但是一手把你拉扯大的 还是我 |
| [18:24] | You know, America thinks | 听着 也许全美国人都认为 |
| [18:26] | I ran into that burning house to get potato salad, | 我冲进火海就为了拿盘土豆沙拉 |
| [18:29] | but I actually ran in to get this photo album. | 但实际上 我冲进火海 为的是抢救这本相册 |
| [18:31] | And potato salad. Sure. | 当然 还顺带拿了土豆沙拉 |
| [18:43] | Dad, I never realized you were… | 爸 我之前就没发现你一直 |
| [18:47] | there for me. | 在我身边 |
| [18:50] | How come there are no pictures of me after I go to preschool? | 那为什么在我上学前班之后就没照片了呢 |
| [18:53] | Well… | 这个 |
| [18:56] | Oh. Okay, well, | 唔 就这样吧 |
| [18:59] | have fun on your first day of preschool, Princess. | 祝你在学前班的第一天愉快 小公主 |
| [19:02] | Okay. Off you go. | 好了 你去吧 |
| [19:05] | There you go. | 走了啊 |
| [19:07] | Ugh! | 哦 不 |
| [19:09] | How am I gonna make it to 3:00 without her? | 没她在身边 我怎么熬得到三点啊 |
| [19:15] | “Belmont Race Track?” Hmm. | 贝尔蒙特赛马场 唔 |
| [19:18] | I guess it couldn’t hurt to go just once. | 小赌怡情啊 |
| [19:23] | Six months later, | 六个月后 |
| [19:24] | guess what gambling addict’s thumbs had metal pins in them? | 猜猜看哪个赌鬼的手指得用钢钉接起来哟 |
| [19:28] | This guy. | 正是在下 |
| [19:32] | Look, honey, I was a jerk | 听我说 亲爱的 我是个混蛋 |
| [19:34] | who wasn’t there for most of your childhood, | 你童年的大部分时间我都没照顾好你 |
| [19:37] | and I regret that every single day of my life. | 为此我每天都感到后悔 |
| [19:40] | But I promise you, | 但我保证 |
| [19:42] | I’m here now for Marvin… | 现在开始我会照顾好马尔文 |
| [19:45] | if you want. | 如果你愿意的话 |
| [19:48] | You’re hired. | 你被录用了 |
| [19:51] | I look up to you | 我仰望着你 |
| [19:52] | You don’t look down on me | 你却没有看低我 |
| [19:56] | What do you see in me? | 你眼中的我是怎样的 |
| [19:58] | Is it oceans of blue? | 是不是如海洋般深邃 |
| [20:01] | How do you make the colors say | 你如何能用无数种方式 |
| [20:05] | In a thousand crazy ways | 让颜色开口述说 |
| [20:08] | That in the end | 就在最后 |
| [20:10] | Most things will be okay… | 一切基本就绪 |
| [20:17] | Ten parking tickets, huh? | 十张罚单 对吧 |
| [20:19] | I suppose there is a way I could, uh… | 我想只有一条路可以让你 呃 |
| [20:21] | “Get you off.” | 摆“脱”了 |
| [20:23] | Why did I ever doubt a classic? | 经典永不褪色啊 |
| [20:26] | Now, now, now. | 打住 打住 打住 |
| [20:28] | This is exactly the sort of behavior | 你雇我来就是为了制止类似行为的 |
| [20:30] | you hired me to put an end to, Mr. Stinson. | 斯丁森先生 |
| [20:33] | Off with you, dear. | 请圆润地离开 亲爱的 |
| [20:35] | Go make better decisions! | 不要犯傻了 |
| [20:40] | You’re right. | 你是对的 |
| [20:42] | Thanks, Mrs. Buckminster. | 谢了 巴克敏斯特太太 |
| [20:44] | You’re welcome. | 不客气 |
| [20:45] | And I’m proud of you for trying to change. | 我为你改变自己做出的努力感到骄傲 |
| [20:48] | What you’re doing with these young women | 你对这些年轻姑娘们做的事情 |
| [20:51] | is simply not appropriate. | 太不合适了 |
| [20:59] | That can never happen again. | 下不为例 |
| [21:03] | Oh, pish-posh. You said that five times ago. | 哦 省省吧 五次之前你就这么说了 |