| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:00] | In the fall of 2012, | 2012年的秋天 |
| [00:02] | Nick and Robin were going strong. | 尼克和罗宾感情越来越好 |
| [00:05] | Sometimes it’s hard to say what it is exactly | 有时很难说究竟是什么 |
| [00:07] | that makes a couple click. | 让一对情侣”琴瑟和鸣” |
| [00:11] | Bravissimo! | 妙极了 |
| [00:14] | Whatever it was, kids, Nick and Robin | 不管是什么 孩子们 尼克和罗宾 |
| [00:17] | really connected at first. | 起初真的很合拍 |
| [00:18] | Hey, you know, I think I’m really starting | 我觉得我们之间 |
| [00:21] | to feel something here.. | 好像真的有什么… |
| [00:23] | But then, as often happens, they started to drift apart. | 但后来这种情况时常发生 他们开始渐行渐远 |
| [00:27] | Why? | 为什么 |
| [00:28] | Who can say? | 谁知道呢 |
| [00:29] | Nick and I haven’t had sex in three days. | 我和尼克都三天没做爱了 |
| [00:32] | And it’s your fault. | 这全赖你 |
| [00:33] | Nick won’t have sex | 尼克不肯做爱 |
| [00:34] | because he pulled his groin muscle, | 是因为他拉伤了腹股沟肌肉 |
| [00:36] | all ’cause you made him join your stupid basketball team. | 都怪你让他加入白痴篮球队 |
| [00:39] | Did you say “stupid basketball team”? | 你刚才是说”白痴篮球队”吗 |
| [00:41] | – Yeah. – Oh, my gosh, guys, | -对 -天啊 伙计们 |
| [00:43] | we have to rush Robin to the hospital. | 我们得赶紧把罗宾送去医院 |
| [00:45] | Because somehow, she swallowed her vocal cords | 因为她把声带咽下去了 |
| [00:47] | and they got lodged in her rectum, | 现在卡在直肠里 |
| [00:49] | because she’s talking out of her ass. | 所以她都用屁股说”屁话” |
| [00:51] | Over the summer, Marshall had joined | 这个夏天 马修加入 |
| [00:52] | 先驱广场娱乐中心 | |
| [00:53] | a midtown professionals basketball league. | 一支市中心的职业篮球联盟 |
| [00:56] | His team of lawyers was called The Force Majeurs. | 他的律师队取名为”不可抗力” |
| [00:56] | 取自法律名词”force majeure” | |
| [00:59] | Ever since they lost to a group of accountants, | 自从他们输给了一支会计队 |
| [01:01] | he’d started getting a little intense about it. | 他就开始有点过于较真 |
| [01:03] | You sure you didn’t have a ringer or two out there, Joel? | 你确定没偷用一两个职业篮球员吗 乔尔 |
| [01:06] | Don’t know what you’re talking about. | 不知道你在说什么 |
| [01:08] | Good hustle out there, Aboubakar! | 刚才的进攻真不错 阿布巴卡尔 |
| [01:13] | If Joel can use ringers, then so can we. | 如果乔尔能找人来冒名顶替 我们也可以 |
| [01:16] | And Nick is our best player. | 尼克是我们最优秀的球员 |
| [01:17] | So as far as I’m concerned, | 所以依我看来 |
| [01:18] | you can both keep your groins on ice. | 你们俩都该”冷藏”下腹股沟 |
| [01:21] | Groins on Ice. | “冰上腹股沟”吗 |
| [01:22] | Least popular Madison Square Garden holiday show ever. | 麦迪逊广场最不受欢迎的假日节目 |
| [01:25] | Why are you so into this basketball league? | 你为什么那么热衷于这个篮球联盟 |
| [01:27] | Robin, it’s the Little Ivies Professionals Over 30 | 罗宾 这是30岁以上在市区工作人士的 |
| [01:29] | Who Work In Midtown League. | 小常春藤专业人员联盟 |
| [01:31] | It’s the show! | 这可是玩真的 |
| [01:33] | You know, it’s kind of funny, | 说来也有趣 |
| [01:35] | imagining people icing their groins. | 想象下人们把冰块放在腹股沟上 |
| [01:38] | I mean, first they’d be all cold, | 一开始会很凉很冰 |
| [01:40] | and then the ice would start to melt, and | 然后冰会开始融化 |
| [01:44] | things would get all wet and… steamy. | 那里就会变湿 “大湿特湿” |
| [01:50] | Okay, Lily. | 好了 莉莉 |
| [01:52] | Look, buddy, | 听着 伙计 |
| [01:53] | I’m also the captain of a team | 我也是”30岁以上在市区工作人士的 |
| [01:55] | in the Little Ivies Professionals Over 30 | 小常春藤专业人员联盟” |
| [01:56] | Who Work In Midtown League. | 其中一队的队长 |
| [01:58] | I’m addicted to the adrenaline, too. | 我也为那刺激感着迷 |
| [02:00] | Still, don’t you think you’re getting | 不过 你不觉得你有点 |
| [02:01] | a little obsessive about… | 太过痴迷于… |
| [02:02] | Uh, hold up, hold up. | 打住 打住 |
| [02:04] | Are you suggesting that you are | 你刚是说你不但 |
| [02:06] | a member of a sports team and you’re the captain? | 是篮球队的一员 而且还是队长吗 |
| [02:11] | So says the “C” | 说到”队长” |
| [02:12] | I personally sewed onto my jersey. | 我还把这个词缝到运动衫上了呢 |
| [02:15] | After Victoria and I broke up, | 我和维多利亚分手后 |
| [02:16] | I had some free time. | 有空闲时间了 |
| [02:18] | So, called up a few architect friends | 所以我叫上了几个建筑师朋友 |
| [02:20] | and put together a little team called | 组了个篮球队 名叫 |
| [02:22] | the T-Squares. | “T字尺”[建筑师常用绘图工具] |
| [02:27] | See that? | 看到了吗 |
| [02:28] | The floor’s uneven. | 地面不平 |
| [02:30] | And that window placement is rubbish. | 那个窗户的设计也烂死了 |
| [02:32] | You know, if a genie gave me one wish, | 如果精灵给我一个愿望 |
| [02:34] | I would knock down that wall and create a nice flow. | 我会拆掉那堵墙 然后重新整整 |
| [02:37] | Great wish. | 好愿望 |
| [02:38] | I mean, there’s too much hardwood, right? | 硬木太多了 对吧 |
| [02:42] | Did you nerds actually play any basketball? | 你们这群书呆子到底打没打篮球啊 |
| [02:45] | Um, us nerds focused on something far more important: | 我们这群书呆子 专注的是更重要的东西 |
| [02:50] | bonding. | 感情凝聚 |
| [02:51] | You guys are going to get pounded. | 你们肯定会被操傻了吧 |
| [02:53] | And I am not. | 而我却没那个福气 |
| [02:54] | Oh, come on. You can’t go a couple weeks without sex? | 拜托 你几周不做爱都受不了吗 |
| [02:57] | Our point guard’s a 52-year-old virgin, happy as a clam. | 我们的控球后卫是个52岁的处男 快乐得很 |
| [03:00] | I’m sure he’s quite a ball handler. | 那他一定控得”一手好球” |
| [03:02] | The problem is, now that we’re not having sex, | 问题是 现在我们不做爱 |
| [03:04] | we’re talking more, | 就更多机会谈话 |
| [03:05] | and I’m realizing that Nick is kind of… | 而我发现尼克有点… |
| [03:11] | dumb. | 蠢 |
| [03:12] | – Really? – News to me. | -真的吗 -不是吧 |
| [03:13] | – I hadn’t noticed that. – No. | -我没注意到 -不 |
| [03:14] | Oh, my God. | 天啊 |
| [03:15] | You guys think that he’s dumb, too? | 你们也觉得他蠢吗 |
| [03:17] | – So dumb. – Air bags are sharper. | -蠢爆了 -脑子比气囊还空 |
| [03:19] | Hot as lava but just as thick. | 肌肉身材 肌肉脑袋 |
| [03:31] | 老爸老妈浪漫史 | |
| [03:35] | When did you guys start to notice that he was kind of dumb? | 你们什么时候开始注意到他蠢的 |
| [03:39] | Well, there was that time Nick was doing the crossword. | 尼克在做字谜游戏的时候 |
| [03:43] | Hey, what’s a four-letter word for cut? | 跟”Cut”同义的四字词是什么 |
| [03:43] | “cut”和”nick”都有切的意思 | |
| [03:46] | – “Nick.” – Yeah? | -尼克[Nick] -什么事 |
| [03:48] | Is a four-letter word for cut. | 是与”cut”同义的四字词啊 |
| [03:50] | What is? | 是什么 |
| [03:50] | – “Nick.” – What? | -“Nick” -怎么了 |
| [03:53] | Oh. I got it. | 知道了 |
| [03:55] | “Shave.” | 是”Shave”[五字] |
| [03:55] | “cut”和”shave”都有削的意思 | |
| [03:58] | And there was the comment about Gypsies. | 还有他评论吉普赛人的时候 |
| [04:01] | No, no. I think Gypsies prefer | 不不 我觉得吉普赛人现在 |
| [04:03] | to be called Romani now. | 更爱被叫做罗姆人 |
| [04:06] | Do they? Really? | 是吗 真的吗 |
| [04:08] | And what do unicorns and, uh, elves | 那独角兽 精灵 |
| [04:11] | and leprechauns prefer to be called? | 和矮妖更爱被叫做什么呢 |
| [04:15] | You do know, uh, Gypsies are | 你知道吉普赛人 |
| [04:17] | a real ethnic group that actually exists? | 是真实存在的族群吧 |
| [04:21] | Oh, you guys, I feel terrible now. | 伙计们 真是太惭愧了 |
| [04:23] | I always thought they were just made up, | 我一直以为他们是虚构的 |
| [04:25] | like goblins or trolls or dolphins. | 就跟地精 巨魔和海豚一样 |
| [04:29] | And then there’s that story you told about how you and Nick | 还有你说过 你跟尼克是怎样 |
| [04:31] | picked up that Danish exchange student | 搭上一个丹麦交换生 |
| [04:33] | and you all took a shower together. | 然后三人共浴的事 |
| [04:35] | I never told a story like that. | 我从没说过那种事 |
| [04:37] | Well, no time like the present. | 那现在可以说了 |
| [04:39] | Let’s give this Danish ho a name. | 我们给那个丹麦骚货取个名字 |
| [04:41] | I’m thinking Nadia. | 就纳迪亚吧 |
| [04:43] | Yeah, she sounds slutty and bi-curious. | 对 这名字放荡不羁 而且性向不明 |
| [04:47] | What is wrong with you? | 你到底怎么了 |
| [04:49] | Your kid is right there. | 你孩子就在那边 |
| [04:50] | Maybe want to clean it up a lit… | 要不要别这么黄啊 |
| [04:53] | You’re wearing a baby and you’re doing pull-ups? | 你挂个宝宝 还练引体向上 |
| [04:55] | No, Ted, I’m sitting around getting soft, | 不 泰德 我闲坐着等肌肉变软 |
| [04:58] | ’cause that’s what champions do. | 因为冠军”从不锻炼” |
| [05:00] | The problem is, now that I know how dumb Nick is, | 问题是 现在我知道尼克有多蠢 |
| [05:04] | it’s kind of making me reconsider the relationship. | 我得重新考虑这段感情 |
| [05:07] | Why? | 为什么 |
| [05:08] | Eventually, Nick’s groin will heal | 最后 尼克的腹股沟会康复 |
| [05:10] | and you’ll be back in Sexville, | 你们也会重登巫山 |
| [05:11] | where all the crossword puzzles only have one box to fill. | 重登巫山后 填字游戏只是浮云 |
| [05:15] | Talk about a double standard. | 说到双重标准 |
| [05:16] | Every time I go after a busty dullard who can’t tell time | 每次我追不会看时间的大胸无脑女 |
| [05:20] | or thinks I’m the ghost of Leonardo DiCaprio, | 或以为我是莱昂纳多鬼魂的蠢妹 |
| [05:23] | I’m shallow. | 我就被骂肤浅 |
| [05:24] | But somehow it’s okay for Robin to date a guy | 但是罗宾却可以和一个 |
| [05:26] | who can’t be trusted around outlets. | 逛街时不能离开家长视线的蠢货 |
| [05:28] | Dump him! | 甩了他 |
| [05:29] | Okay, that is ridiculous. | 行了 太荒谬了 |
| [05:32] | Is Nick a genius? No. | 尼克是天才吗 不是 |
| [05:35] | But does he have average intelligence? | 他的智商有平均水平吗 |
| [05:37] | No. | 也没有 |
| [05:39] | But he is a human being, with a heart! | 但是他是一个人 有感情的人 |
| [05:41] | And you’re afraid if I dump him, it’ll throw off his game. | 你是害怕 如果我甩了他 会影响到比赛 |
| [05:44] | Robin, he got 36 points and 17 rebounds last week. | 罗宾 上周他拿了36分和17个篮板球 |
| [05:47] | And that was with his shoes on the wrong feet. | 那还是他球鞋穿错脚时的表现 |
| [05:52] | Well, you’re probably all wondering | 好吧 你们可能想知道 |
| [05:54] | how the T-Squares’ practice went today. | T字尺队现在是怎么训练的 |
| [05:57] | The T-What? | T什么 |
| [05:58] | We played up here. | 我们用头脑比赛 |
| [06:00] | Basketball, people don’t realize, | 其实人们并不知道 |
| [06:03] | is all geometry, physics and engineering. | 篮球关系到几何学 物理学和工程学 |
| [06:05] | If you think like an architect, | 如果你像建筑家那样思考 |
| [06:07] | you could win a thousand games without ever touching a ball. | 不用摸到球 就能赢一千场比赛 |
| [06:11] | What happened to your ball? | 你的球怎么了 |
| [06:13] | Some kids from the Hebrew school next door took it | 隔壁的希伯来小孩会把球抢了 |
| [06:15] | and wouldn’t give it back. | 而且不还我们 |
| [06:21] | How’d the breakup with Nick go? | 和尼克的分手进行得如何了 |
| [06:23] | Well… | 那个… |
| [06:24] | So, I went to this fortune teller today | 我今天去找了算命师 |
| [06:26] | and she said there was a curse on me. | 她说我身上有个诅咒 |
| [06:28] | Did she sell you something to ward off the curse? | 那她告诉你怎么驱除了吗 |
| [06:32] | It’s like you’re a fortune teller, too. | 这你也猜到 你跟她一样神啊 |
| [06:36] | Nick, um… | 尼克 |
| [06:38] | I think we need to talk. Yeah. | 我们得谈谈 |
| [06:40] | Uh… it’s just… | 就是… |
| [06:43] | Whoa, these are hard. | 练得好结实 |
| [06:45] | Anyway, this $500 bracelet will ward off evil | 反正这条五百元的手链 |
| [06:47] | till the end of the week, so… | 可以辟邪一周 |
| [06:49] | Do you think that you could do, | 你觉得你可以 |
| [06:50] | uh, sit-ups or something while you talk? | 边说话边做仰卧起坐什么的吗 |
| [06:53] | Yeah. | 可以啊 |
| [06:55] | Anyway, this fortune teller, | 总之 这个算命师 |
| [06:57] | she was able to tell me all sorts of stuff about my future, | 她仅从我的信用卡 |
| [07:00] | just from my credit cards | 社保号和驾照 |
| [07:02] | and my social security number, driver’s license. | 就能预见我的将来 |
| [07:05] | I knew you’d cave. | 我就知道你会失败 |
| [07:07] | Which is why I came up with | 所以为了让你和尼克分手 |
| [07:08] | a little extra incentive to break up with Nick. | 我想出了一个激励你的方法 |
| [07:11] | End it by 8:00 P.M. Tonight or this invite goes live. | 晚上八点分手 要么这个邀请生效 |
| [07:16] | “Robin and Patrice’s BFF fun day?!” | “罗宾和帕特里斯的闺蜜玩乐日” |
| [07:21] | Kids, Patrice was a coworker of Robin’s | 孩子们 帕特里斯是罗宾的同事 |
| [07:23] | who’d become sort of obsessed with her. | 她有点巴着罗宾不放 |
| [07:26] | Robin had managed, until now, | 罗宾一直到现在都设法 |
| [07:28] | to keep Patrice at arms length. | 和帕特里斯保持距离 |
| [07:32] | But if Patrice were invited to something called | 不过如果帕特里斯被邀请来参加 |
| [07:34] | Robin and Patrice’s BFF Fun Day, | “罗宾和帕特里斯的闺蜜玩乐日” |
| [07:37] | she’d latch onto Robin and never let go. | 她会一直粘着罗宾 绝不放手 |
| [07:40] | Why would you do that? | 你为什么这么做 |
| [07:41] | Delete that right now! | 马上删掉 |
| [07:42] | No! If I don’t give you a little push, | 不 我不给你点压力 |
| [07:44] | you’ll let this drag on until Nick can have sex again, | 你就一直拖 拖到他能再登巫山 |
| [07:47] | and then you’ll be right back to procrastinating on all fours. | 到时候你又会在床上任他摆布 并继续拖延 |
| [07:51] | I hate to admit it, but the man in the suit has a point. | 不得不承认 穿西服的男士说得对 |
| [07:55] | Fine, but the playoffs are coming up soon, | 好吧 不过季后赛就快开始了 |
| [07:57] | and I can’t have this guy an emotional wreck. | 他可不能精神崩溃啊 |
| [07:59] | If you do dump him, at least let him down easy. | 如果你要甩他 委婉点吧 |
| [08:02] | Yeah, take him to a nice restaurant. | 对 带他去一家精致的餐馆 |
| [08:04] | Preferably a dessert place. | 最好是吃甜点的地方 |
| [08:06] | That way, you won’t have to sit through a whole meal | 那样你就不必等吃完一顿饭 |
| [08:07] | before you get to… | 才到… |
| [08:08] | – Splitsville. – Exactly. | -分手点 -正解 |
| [08:10] | No, Splitsville. | 我说的是”分手甜品店” |
| [08:11] | It’s a dessert place right around the corner. | 在街角的那个甜品店 |
| [08:13] | It’s sort of the place to end a relationship. | 分手的必去场所 |
| [08:21] | Uh, Nick, listen. | 尼克 听我说 |
| [08:23] | You are awesome | 你是个很好的人 |
| [08:26] | and totally sweet, but we’re just not… | 好到爆 但是我们… |
| [08:32] | You know where I’m going with this, right? | 你知道我要说什么 是吧 |
| [08:34] | No. No clue. | 不 不知道 |
| [08:40] | I don’t know if we should keep seeing each other. | 我觉得我们不该再”见面”了 |
| [08:43] | You want to start turning off the lights during sex? | 你是想 关灯做爱 看不到对方吗 |
| [08:45] | No. God, no. | 不 天啊 不是 |
| [08:47] | No! No. | 不是 不是 |
| [08:48] | I am just worried that, as a couple, we’re not working out. | 我觉得我们不太适合做情侣[我们不锻炼] |
| [08:53] | You want to start going to the gym together? | 你想一起去健身房吗 |
| [08:56] | Okay, no, Nick, here is the deal. | 不是 尼克 事情是这样的 |
| [08:59] | Sorry, babe. I got to take this. | 对不起 亲爱的 接个电话 |
| [09:01] | Excuse me. | 抱歉 |
| [09:02] | Hello. | 喂 |
| [09:04] | Hey, what’s up? | 怎么了 |
| [09:07] | You… | 你… |
| [09:10] | What? I… | 什么… 我… |
| [09:11] | I don’t understand. | 我不明白 |
| [09:14] | But you… | 不过你… |
| [09:15] | Okay, um, you know what? | 好吧 其实呢 |
| [09:16] | I’m sorry, I-I have to go. | 对不起 我得挂了 |
| [09:20] | What happened? | 怎么回事 |
| [09:22] | I… | 我… |
| [09:25] | I, um… | 我… |
| [09:27] | Uh, I’m sorry, I can’t talk about this. | 抱歉 我不想说 |
| [09:33] | Anyway, | 对了 |
| [09:35] | what were you going to say? | 你刚想要说什么 |
| [09:38] | Uh… I was gonna say, | 我想说 |
| [09:42] | order whatever else you want. | 你还想吃什么 随便点 |
| [09:45] | It’s on me. | 我请客[放在我身上] |
| [09:46] | Well, thanks, but I think I’d just rather | 谢了 不过我还是 |
| [09:48] | eat it out of a bowl. | 放在碗里吃吧 |
| [09:54] | Well, no doubt you’re all wondering | 你们还想知道 |
| [09:55] | how the T-Square’s first game went. | T字尺队第一场比赛是什么情况 |
| [09:57] | What Squares? | 什么队 |
| [09:59] | Picture a well-oiled machine. | 想象一台完美协调的机器 |
| [10:00] | Your sewing machine? | 你的缝纫机吗 |
| [10:02] | There were two seconds left on the clock. | 时间只剩下两秒钟了 |
| [10:05] | Aboubakar was all over me. | 阿布巴卡尔全力防守我 |
| [10:07] | And that’s when all my years of architectural training | 突然间我多年以来所受的建筑学训练 |
| [10:09] | came to my aid. | 成为了我的神助 |
| [10:11] | I saw the space in a way my opponents never would. | 我看见了对手绝对发现不了的空隙 |
| [10:30] | Yes! | 帅呆了 |
| [10:31] | I told you guys I’d make one of these! | 我就说我会投进这种球的 |
| [10:34] | Turns out, those two points were taken away | 结果 这个进球也被判无效 |
| [10:36] | because apparently the ball went “out of bounds.” | 因为他们说这球”出界”了 |
| [10:39] | But don’t worry, | 不过别担心 |
| [10:40] | I’m appealing to the league office. | 我已经向联赛办公室申诉了 |
| [10:42] | This Aboubakar– I’m assuming you showered with the guy? | 那个阿布巴卡尔 打完你们是一起冲澡吗 |
| [10:45] | Paint me a word picture. | 描述一下共浴的情景 |
| [10:49] | Hello. | 你好 |
| [10:50] | Lil, is Barney there? | 莉莉 巴尼在吗 |
| [10:51] | He’s not answering his phone. | 他都不接电话 |
| [10:52] | Mm, he’s a little busy right now. | 他现在有点小忙呢 |
| [10:54] | It’s Robin. | 是罗宾打来的 |
| [10:55] | 37… 38… 37… 38… | |
| [10:57] | Put her on speaker. 39… | 打开免提放给我听 39 |
| [10:59] | When did you start being able to do stuff like this? | 你什么时候变得如此孔武有力了 |
| [11:01] | A few months ago, you had to catch your breath | 几个月前 你连做个三明治 |
| [11:02] | after making a sandwich. | 都累得上气不接下气 |
| [11:04] | Barney, delete the Robin | 巴尼 快把”罗宾 |
| [11:06] | and Patrice’s BFF Fun Day invite! | 和帕特里斯的闺蜜玩乐日”的邀请删了 |
| [11:08] | Did you break up with Nick yet? | 你和尼克分手没 |
| [11:09] | I can’t! He just got some horrible call. | 我分不了 他刚接了个特别不好的电话 |
| [11:11] | I think a family member might have died or something. | 我想大概是他家有亲戚死了之类的 |
| [11:14] | Oh! Yes! Yes! | 太好了 太棒了 |
| [11:15] | Yes! Yes! Yes! | 一级好 一级棒 |
| [11:17] | I mean, good that Robin can’t dump him. | 我是说 罗宾没和他分手很棒 |
| [11:19] | The death part, less good. | 死人的事当然是很惨 |
| [11:22] | Robin, if you dump Nick, | 罗宾 如果你和尼克分手 |
| [11:24] | he could get mad and tear your blouse off. | 他一怒之下 可能会把你上衣撕得粉碎 |
| [11:26] | And then he bites you on the neck, | 然后一口咬在你脖子上 |
| [11:28] | not super hard, just on the brink | 不是发狠地咬 而是介于 |
| [11:30] | between pleasure and pain. | 快乐与痛楚边缘的那种咬 |
| [11:31] | And then that Danish slut Nadia | 然后丹麦骚货纳迪亚 |
| [11:34] | bursts in… | 冲入 |
| [11:35] | You can’t wait. His groin will heal | 你没时间了 他的腹沟伤马上就好了 |
| [11:37] | and then before you know it, you’ll be marrying a man | 然后在不知不觉之间 你就会发现自己 |
| [11:40] | who once ate a vanilla-scented candle! | 嫁给一个曾把香草味蜡烛都吃掉了的人 |
| [11:42] | That was on me. | 那件事错在我 |
| [11:43] | I shouldn’t have left it in the kitchen. | 我就不该把蜡烛放在厨房 |
| [11:46] | Though, it was lit. Man, he dumb. | 尽管那蜡烛还在烧 靠 这男的真蠢 |
| [11:49] | The invite goes live in five minutes. | 这份邀请将在五分钟后发送 |
| [11:51] | What?! | 什么 |
| [11:52] | It goes out automatically unless I stop it, | 这份邀请会自动发送 只有我能让它停下 |
| [11:54] | and that only happens if I hear you dump Nick | 除非你在免提里甩了那个男人 |
| [11:56] | on speakerphone before then. | 否则我绝不按停 |
| [11:58] | Fine. | 好吧 |
| [12:03] | Hey, Nick. I’m sorry about that. | 尼克 抱歉抱歉 |
| [12:05] | Um, listen, | 听我说 |
| [12:08] | there’s something I need | 有件事我需要 |
| [12:09] | to talk to you about. | 和你谈一谈 |
| [12:10] | No, Robin, I’m sorry. I’m like half here. | 罗宾 抱歉 我刚没说完 |
| [12:14] | That phone call, it just… | 那通电话是 |
| [12:16] | I got some really bad news. | 我有坏消息要说 |
| [12:20] | My doctor did an MRI… | 我的医生帮我做了核磁共振图 |
| [12:23] | and… | 结果 |
| [12:26] | Oh… Oh, God. What, what is it? | 我的天 到底怎么了 |
| [12:30] | My groin injury is worse than they thought. | 我的腹沟受伤情况比推测的严重 |
| [12:33] | I can’t play basketball for weeks. | 我好几周都不能打篮球了 |
| [12:35] | Thank God. I thought he was dying or something. | 谢天谢地 我还以为他是要死了之类的 |
| [12:38] | How many weeks? How many weeks?! | 几周不能玩 到底几周不能玩 |
| [12:41] | Please tell me it’s not a tear | 拜托 千万不要是 |
| [12:43] | in the iliolumbar ligament. | 骼腰韧带拉伤 |
| [12:44] | It’s a tear in the “libioflumflar linament.” | 我的骼腰韧带拉伤了 |
| [12:47] | If it’s a small tear, he can still make playoffs. | 如果情况不严重 他还可以参加最后决赛 |
| [12:49] | It’s a big tear. | 拉伤得相当严重 |
| [12:51] | He better not be out for the season. | 千万不要这一季都上不了场 |
| [12:52] | – I’m out for the season. – Damn it! | -我这一季都上不了场了 -该死的 |
| [12:54] | They’re going up against The Number Crunchers without me. | 他们要独自对阵”算数能手”会计队了 |
| [12:57] | It’s an after-work basketball league for lawyers | 这不过是律师会计和爱缝纫的建筑师玩的 |
| [13:00] | and accountants and architects who sew. | 下班后篮球联赛 |
| [13:03] | I mean, who takes it that seriously? | 谁会这么看重这件事啊 |
| [13:06] | No…! | 老天爷啊 |
| [13:11] | I just hate letting coach Eriksen down. | 我只是不想让埃里克森教练失望 |
| [13:14] | I would follow that man through the gates of hell! | 我愿意陪他一起上刀山下火海 |
| [13:19] | Winning. | 胜利 |
| [13:21] | What do we win when we beat those Number Crunchers | 几周前 当我们战胜了”算数能手”队时 |
| [13:24] | a few short weeks hence? | 我们赢得了什么 |
| [13:26] | A game? Sure. | 一场比赛吗 这当然 |
| [13:28] | A trophy? Sort of. | 一个奖杯吗 勉强算吧 |
| [13:30] | We win a $25 gift card to Bennigan’s, | 我们赢得了商店的25块礼品券 |
| [13:33] | but what is it that we really win? | 但我们真正赢得了什么 |
| [13:35] | The game! | 赢了比赛 |
| [13:37] | – Yes, I said that Nick. – Right. | -这我已经说过了 尼克 -是 |
| [13:39] | But we also win | 我们同时赢得了 |
| [13:41] | the right to walk tall. | 昂首阔步的权利 |
| [13:44] | The right to call ourselves champions. | 赢得了敢于自称冠军的资格 |
| [13:46] | Yeah. So we are gonna go out and we are | 所以我们要全力以赴 |
| [13:48] | gonna wipe the floor with those accountants! | 把这群小会计打得溃不成军 |
| [13:51] | And afterwards, we will feast like kings | 赢得胜利之后 我们将会像君王一样 |
| [13:54] | on Southwest Fajitas and Cajun shrimp! | 尽情享用西南铁板香料虾 |
| [13:57] | And that check, that check will be marginally less expensive! | 而饭钱 也会稍微地便宜一些 |
| [14:01] | – Yeah! – Yeah! | -太好了 -太好了 |
| [14:04] | Now, they’re probably gonna have to pay full price for that meal. | 现在 他们大概不得不付全额的饭钱了 |
| [14:09] | Nick, you are so sweet, but I just… | 尼克 你人太好了 可我 |
| [14:13] | Good news is | 好消息是 |
| [14:14] | it doesn’t really matter if it takes my groin pull | 反正我的腹沟都需要 |
| [14:16] | a little longer to heal, | 长时间慢慢来恢复 |
| [14:17] | so I may as well start having sex again. | 所以我又可以和你翻云覆雨了 |
| [14:21] | Listening. | 我听着呢 |
| [14:22] | Sickening. | 恶心着呢 |
| [14:23] | Exiting. | 狂奔出门着呢 |
| [14:29] | Nick… | 尼克 |
| [14:31] | I just… | 我只是 |
| [14:32] | Ah… I… | 我 |
| [14:40] | What do you think? | 你觉得如何 |
| [14:43] | I think I am suddenly in the mood for something hot. | 我觉得我突然想要来点火热的东西了 |
| [14:47] | I see. Sounds like I should order some cappuccinos. | 我懂了 看来我得点热的卡布奇诺了 |
| [14:50] | Don’t talk till tomorrow morning. | 明早之前都闭嘴别说话 |
| [14:53] | She can’t go home with you, Nick. | 她不能和你一起回家 尼克 |
| [14:55] | – Barney? – Why not? | -巴尼 -为什么呀 |
| [14:57] | Because Robin and I are in love. | 因为罗宾和我深爱着彼此 |
| [15:04] | Barney, what are you doing here? | 巴尼 你来这里干什么啊 |
| [15:07] | Taking care of something | 我是来解决某件 |
| [15:07] | you clearly can’t do on your own. | 你显然没法独自完成的任务的 |
| [15:09] | I’m sorry, | 抱歉 |
| [15:10] | but you and Robin are done. | 但你和罗宾没戏了 |
| [15:11] | What? Robin, what is this? | 什么 罗宾 他什么意思 |
| [15:13] | Barney, look, I-I know what you’re doing, okay? | 巴尼 我知道你想干嘛 |
| [15:16] | Please stop. | 请别这样 |
| [15:17] | Robin doesn’t want to hurt your feelings | 罗宾不想伤害你的感情 |
| [15:18] | because you’re a nice guy, | 因为你这人不错 |
| [15:20] | but she thinks you’re stupid and she hates you. | 但她认为你很蠢 她讨厌你 |
| [15:22] | You’re welcome. | 不用谢 |
| [15:23] | Stop doing this. | 别这样 |
| [15:24] | I love her, Nick. | 我爱她 尼克 |
| [15:25] | Look, he doesn’t love me. | 他不爱我 |
| [15:27] | He’s just saying this because… | 他这样说是因为… |
| [15:29] | I love everything about her, | 我爱她的一切 |
| [15:30] | and I’m not a guy who says that lightly. | 说出这种话 对我来说不容易 |
| [15:32] | I’m a guy who has faked love his entire life. | 我这辈子对女人都是虚情假意 |
| [15:35] | I thought love was just something | 我认为爱情只是 |
| [15:36] | idiots thought they felt, | 白痴才会有的感觉 |
| [15:38] | but this woman has a hold on my heart | 但这个女人抓住了我的心 |
| [15:40] | that I could not break if I wanted to, | 就算我想挣脱也于事无补 |
| [15:42] | and there have been times that I wanted to. | 我不是没有试过摆脱对她的感觉 |
| [15:46] | It has been overwhelming and humbling | 我不知所措 任爱摆布 |
| [15:50] | and even painful at times, | 有时甚至心里好痛 |
| [15:53] | but I could not stop loving her | 但我没办法不爱她 |
| [15:55] | any more than I could stop breathing. | 就如同不能呼吸一样 |
| [15:58] | I am hopelessly, irretrievably in love with her. | 我无可救药地 义无反顾地爱着她 |
| [16:03] | More than she knows. | 而她却不知道我的爱有这么深 |
| [16:11] | Robin, is this true? | 罗宾 这是真的吗 |
| [16:15] | You heard him. | 你也听到啦 |
| [16:18] | Oh, wow, it feels like I have | 哇 感觉我心里 |
| [16:21] | a pulled groin muscle in my heart. | 有一块被拉伤的腹股沟肌肉 |
| [16:24] | – Nick, I-I’m so sorry.- Don’t. | -尼克 真是对不起 -别 |
| [16:26] | I just think that maybe… | 我只觉得也许… |
| [16:28] | Pardon me. | 打扰下 |
| [16:30] | But did you just also get your heart broken? | 你刚刚也心碎了吗 |
| [16:32] | Yes. | 碎了 |
| [16:34] | I just got my heart broken, too! | 刚刚我的心也碎了 |
| [16:39] | Well, do the… the two of you… | 那么你们两个 |
| [16:41] | …want to come back to my place? | 想去我家吗 |
| [16:43] | – Yes. – Come on. | -想 -走吧 |
| [16:48] | Thus concluded the Autumn of Breakups, | 分手之秋就此结束了 |
| [16:53] | – Crazy, right? – Yeah, | -够疯狂的 对吧 -是啊 |
| [16:55] | you know what would be really crazy? | 知道什么是真正的疯狂吗 |
| [16:57] | If all of ’em got it on– | 如果他们一起上 |
| [16:59] | Barney, Robin, Nick, and those two women, | 巴尼 罗宾 尼克 那两个女人 |
| [17:03] | and you just know Nadia’s watching in the corner | 纳迪亚也带着宠物蛇 |
| [17:06] | with her pet snake. | 在角落看着 |
| [17:07] | Okay, why aren’t you two having sex? | 够了 你俩为什么不做爱 |
| [17:10] | What? | 什么 |
| [17:11] | Excuse me? | 说什么呢 |
| [17:12] | Lily has been slobbering over Robin’s sex life | 莉莉垂涎罗宾的性生活 |
| [17:15] | like a cartoon hobo watching a pie cool on a windowsill, | 就像卡通里流浪汉 垂涎窗台上变凉的馅饼 |
| [17:18] | and you– | 至于你 |
| [17:19] | the only other time you’ve ever exercised this seriously | 唯一一次你这样玩命地锻炼 |
| [17:22] | was when Lily had mono freshman year | 是莉莉大一时患了单核血球增多症 |
| [17:24] | and I caught you doing one-armed push-ups | 被我撞到你做单手俯卧撑 |
| [17:26] | with your genitals over a bowl of ice. | 而你老弟下面摆着一碗冰 |
| [17:28] | So, when did you stop doing it and why? | 你们什么时候开始禁欲的 为什么 |
| [17:32] | It was, you know, | 就是从 |
| [17:35] | before Marvin was born. | 马文出生前开始的 |
| [17:37] | What? Th-That’s insane. | 什么 这太离谱了 |
| [17:38] | Well, you have to wait a while after having a kid, | 生孩子后要禁欲一段时间 |
| [17:41] | and, and then you’re exhausted from being up all night. | 然后又因为整晚照顾孩子而精疲力竭 |
| [17:44] | And then this uncanny phenomenon began. | 然后一种诡异的现象出现了 |
| [18:10] | Wow, you guys got to fix this. | 你们得解决这个问题 |
| [18:12] | It’s not that easy. | 没那么容易 |
| [18:17] | Ted, having a kid changes things. | 泰德 有了孩子一切都变了 |
| [18:20] | You don’t have the time or energy, you’re never alone. | 没有时间 没有精力 永远没有二人世界 |
| [18:26] | Come here. | 给我 |
| [18:27] | What are you doing? | 你干嘛 |
| [18:28] | Taking Marvin for a walk | 带马文出去散步 |
| [18:30] | so you guys can have some privacy. | 给你们一点私人空间 |
| [18:32] | Oh, Ted, come on, | 泰德 得了 |
| [18:34] | that’s, that’s just not the way that it works. | 这样解决不了问题 |
| [18:36] | Yeah, it’s not like we can have sex on cue. | 我们又不能说做就做 |
| [18:39] | Yeah, I’ll give you guys plenty of time. | 我会给你们很多时间 |
| [18:41] | Maybe I’ll even | 我甚至可能 |
| [18:42] | swing by the gym, show Marvin | 会顺路去体育馆 让马文看看 |
| [18:44] | where his uncle Ted made “the shot.” | 他的泰德叔叔投出”神球”的地方 |
| [18:46] | If I’m late, | 如果我回来晚了 |
| [18:47] | it’s ’cause I’ve been delayed by autograph seekers. | 那是因为有索要签名的人缠着我 |
| [18:52] | Oh, forgot Marvin’s diaper bag. | 忘了马文的尿布包 |
| [18:53] | Yowza! Okay. | 妈呀 快闪快闪 |
| [18:57] | And the Oscar for Best Fake Romantic Speech | 奥斯卡最佳虚假爱情宣言得主是 |
| [19:00] | goes to Barney Stinson. | 巴尼・斯丁森 |
| [19:02] | I’d like to thank all the ladies over the years | 我要感谢这么多年来 让我能够 |
| [19:04] | with whom I’ve practiced fake romantic speeches | 练习虚假爱情宣言的所有女士 |
| [19:06] | and, of course, Robin Scherbatsky | 当然了 感谢罗宾・特布罗斯基 |
| [19:08] | for being so hypnotized by hog | 对鱼水之欢没有抵抗力 |
| [19:10] | that she needed me to come and save her. | 所以我才有机会出马相救 |
| [19:12] | You know what? I didn’t need your help. | 知道吗 我不需要你来帮我 |
| [19:14] | You were this close to ripping off his misbuttoned shirt | 你还差一点就要撕开他扣错纽扣的衬衫 |
| [19:18] | and pulling down his inside-out underpants. | 扯掉他穿反的内裤 |
| [19:22] | I’ll give you this, you were pretty convincing. | 不得不承认 你刚才演得很逼真 |
| [19:25] | Hey, tricking good-looking idiots is kind of my thing. | 耍白痴帅哥玩是我的强项 |
| [19:28] | No. | 不是 |
| [19:31] | I mean, you were really convincing. | 我是说你的话 让人觉得是真心的 |
| [19:38] | Please. I was bro-ing you out. | 拜托 我只是救你这个兄弟出火坑 |
| [19:41] | I’m just glad he bought it so quick. | 真庆幸他这么快就信了 |
| [19:43] | Any longer, I’d have had to kiss you. | 时间再久些 我就得吻你了 |
| [19:55] | Hello. | 喂 |
| [19:55] | Whoo, oh, my God, Robin, BFF Fun Day! | 我的神啊 罗宾 闺蜜玩乐日 |
| [19:57] | That’s the most amazing thing ever. | 这是史上最美妙的事 |
| [19:59] | – Like, you totally read my mind… – Hey, Patrice. | -你真懂我的心 -帕特里斯 |
| [20:02] | Oh, you got the invite, great. | 你收到了邀请 很好 |
| [20:04] | Uh, yeah, uh, let me call you back. | 好的 我回头打给你 |
| [20:06] | This is so fantastic, I can’t even catch my breath. | 太好了 我都不能呼吸了 |
| [20:07] | Mm-hmm, yeah. | 好的 |
| [20:11] | You know what I forgot to do? | 知道我忘了做什么吗 |
| [20:14] | 罗宾和帕特里斯的闺蜜玩乐日 | |
| [20:32] | T-Squares. Well, bad news. | T字尺队员 坏消息 |
| [20:35] | Heard back from the league office. | 联盟办公室有回音了 |
| [20:37] | My shot is not going to count. | 我的得分不能算 |
| [20:39] | But onwards and upwards, right? | 但人生有高有低嘛 |
| [20:42] | What do you cats want to rap about, huh? | 小伙子们今天有啥想说的啊 |
| [20:45] | Listen, Coach… you’re great. | 听着 教练 你很出色 |
| [20:47] | And we all really want to stay friends. | 我们真的都很想继续做朋友 |
| [20:54] | I can change, I can… | 我可以改 我可以… |
| [20:57] | Come on, we, we had some good times. | 拜托 我们也有过开心的时候啊 |
| [20:59] | Things have been weird lately and… | 事情最近有些不顺 |
| [21:03] | Is there another architect? Just tell me. | 是不是有新的建筑师出现了 老实告诉我 |