| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | Lily, I just saw the worst thing ever! | 莉莉 我刚目睹了最恐怖的事儿 |
| [00:03] | Kind of busy right now, Marshall. | 我忙着呢 马修 |
| [00:04] | Quiet. He can hear you. | 小声点 他能听见你 |
| [00:06] | Who’s “He”?! | 他是谁 |
| [00:07] | He’s coming! Everyone shut up! | 他来了 所有人都闭嘴 |
| [00:09] | Okay, kids, you’re probably wondering how | 好吧 孩子们 你们可能想知道 |
| [00:10] | we all got here. | 我们是如何陷入那番境地的 |
| [00:12] | Oh, hey, buddy, can we borrow your air mattress? | 嘿 老兄 能借你气垫床用用吗 |
| [00:14] | My mom’s coming into town for a few days. | 我妈要进城呆几天 |
| [00:16] | Absolutely not. | 绝对不可以 |
| [00:17] | Bummer, I guess she can’t stay with us. | 真可惜 我想她不能和我们住在一起喽 |
| [00:20] | Hey, look, what I just found. | 嘿 看看我找到什么 |
| [00:22] | A list of hotels and other creative housing options. | 一张宾馆和创意住宿的详单 |
| [00:25] | Baby, my mom is not staying at a hotel. | 宝贝 我老妈不能去住旅馆 |
| [00:28] | Or our storage unit. | 或我们的储藏室 |
| [00:30] | Why can’t we borrow your air mattress? | 为什么我们不能借你的空气床垫 |
| [00:32] | Because when you animals borrow things, | 因为你们这些禽兽每次来借东西 |
| [00:33] | you never return them. | 从来都没还过 |
| [00:34] | That’s ridiculous. | 这不科学 |
| [00:36] | No, my Cleveland, Ohio, Chamber of Commerce | 不 俄亥俄州克利夫兰商会送的 |
| [00:38] | mini-cooler is ridiculous. | 迷你冷藏箱才是最不科学的 |
| [00:40] | Ridiculous at keeping stuff cold | 在冷藏效果奇好的同时 |
| [00:42] | while also promoting Ohio’s second-largest rubber producer. | 也宣传了 俄亥俄州第二大的橡胶制品生产商 |
| [00:45] | Watch your back, Akron. | 当心点啊 阿克伦市 |
| [00:47] | I totally gave that back. | 我绝对把它还给你了 |
| [00:49] | And what about that “Vote For Ted” Hoodie | 还有那件 我高中时竞选财长时穿的 |
| [00:51] | from when I ran for treasurer in high school? | 印有”投票给泰德”的卫衣 跑哪儿去了 |
| [00:54] | Mrs. Gooding said | 古丁夫人说 |
| [00:55] | my concession speech was, “Full of grace.” | 我的退选演讲”魅力满堂” |
| [00:59] | I don’t recall borrowing that. | 我不记得借过那个啊 |
| [01:02] | And whatever happened to my limited edition DVD | 还有 我那套限量版的《老板去度假》DVD |
| [01:05] | of the classic 1989 Silverman-McCarthy romp, | 它可是1989年 休耳曼和麦卡锡的经典之作 |
| [01:07] | Weekend at Bernie’s, “Borrowed” Well over six months ago? | 六个月前 谁把它借走了 |
| [01:11] | Yeah, I’m keeping that. | 好吧 我不还你了 |
| [01:13] | Those extra features are awesome. | 那个番外篇超赞 |
| [01:15] | I mean, that making-of documentary? | 我是说 那个拍摄过程纪录片 |
| [01:16] | “How Bernie Avoided The Gurney: A Cinematic Journey.” | 伯尼躲担架奇遇记:电影之旅 |
| [01:19] | Look, I’m just tired of people borrowing things | 其实 我是厌倦了人们总借我东西 |
| [01:22] | and never returning them. | 还从来不还 |
| [01:24] | If you don’t believe me, ask my ex-friend Stuart. | 如果你不相信 问问我的前任朋友斯图尔特 |
| [01:27] | Ted, I gave your red cowboy boots back | 泰德 我明明在万圣节后第二天 |
| [01:30] | the day after Halloween. | 就把那双红色牛仔靴还给你了 |
| [01:31] | How could you lie to me right to my face, Stuart? | 你怎么能睁着眼说瞎话呢 斯图尔特 |
| [01:34] | You are a horrible human being. | 你这人真不讲究 |
| [01:38] | Congrats on your daughter’s christening. | 顺便恭祝你女儿的圣洗 |
| [01:42] | And where’s the worst abuser of my generosity, Barney? | 还有那位肆意践踏我的好心者 巴尼何在 |
| [01:45] | Or should I say, “Borrow-ney”? | 或者我该叫他”霸着不还尼” |
| [01:48] | You should never say that. | 你不该再那样说 |
| [01:49] | And I think he’s out with Patrice. | 好像他跟帕特里斯出去了 |
| [01:51] | Uch, Patrice? That’s still happening? | 呃 帕特里斯 他们还搞在一起呢 |
| [01:53] | Kids, you remember Patrice. | 孩子们 你们记得帕特里斯吧 |
| [01:54] | She worked with your Aunt Robin. | 她和你们罗宾阿姨一起工作 |
| [01:56] | Robin! You left your purse at the vending machine, | 罗宾 你把钱包忘在贩售机那里了 |
| [01:59] | and some guy tried to steal it! | 有个家伙甚至想偷走它 |
| [02:00] | I fought him off, but I think I dislocated my shoulder. | 我把他赶跑了 但我貌似把肩膀弄脱臼了 |
| [02:06] | You scratched the leather! Oh! | 你把皮面刮花了 擦嘞 |
| [02:08] | Can’t you do anything right, Patrice?! | 你就不能办一样好事吗 帕特里斯 |
| [02:10] | That Barney-and-Patrice thing is so bogus. | 巴尼和帕特里斯绝对是玩假的 |
| [02:13] | He’s clearly trying to get back at me | 他显然是想报复我 |
| [02:15] | for rejecting him. | 因为之前我拒绝了他 |
| [02:16] | Um, Robin, after you rejected Barney, | 呃 罗宾 你拒绝巴尼之后 |
| [02:18] | didn’t he reject you? | 他不是也拒绝你了吗 |
| [02:19] | And didn’t you go | 而且 话说回来 |
| [02:20] | over to his place and try to sleep with him | 你不也试图跑他家把给睡了 |
| [02:23] | in your purple-and-black underwear? | 情趣内衣穿的一逼 |
| [02:24] | Hey, uh, Lil, feel free to disregard that | 嘿 莉莉 你的人生字典里 |
| [02:27] | “Don’t tell anyone about this ever” Thing. | 就继续没有”守口如瓶”这个词吧 |
| [02:29] | She has your mini-cooler. | 她拿着你的迷你冷藏箱 |
| [02:31] | I knew it! | 我就知道 |
| [02:32] | But seriously, what other reason would | 说真的 巴尼和帕特里斯约会 |
| [02:34] | Barney have to date Patrice? | 还有会有其他原因吗 |
| [02:36] | It’s an over-correction. | 这完全是矫枉过正 |
| [02:37] | How dare you?! What is that?! | 岂有此理 顺便那是啥 |
| [02:40] | Barney was engaged to Quinn, a stripper he never really trusted. | 巴尼和他一直都不信任的 脱衣舞娘昆茵订婚了 |
| [02:43] | So he overcorrects by dating her opposite: | 所以走个极端 跟与昆茵完全相反的人交往 |
| [02:45] | warm and nurturing Patrice. | 也就是热情的治愈系妹子 帕特里斯 |
| [02:47] | That does happen, like Ted. | 确实有这种事 比如泰德 |
| [02:49] | After you broke up with sweet innocent Victoria. | 在你和纯洁甜美小维维分手后 |
| [02:52] | No, you hang up first. | 不 你先挂 |
| [02:54] | No, you hang up first. | 不嘛 你先挂 |
| [02:55] | No, you hang up first. | 不要嘛 你先挂 |
| [02:56] | Hang up, you little bitch! | 赶紧挂电话 你个小贱人 |
| [03:00] | Over-correction. | 矫枉过正 |
| [03:01] | Yeah. And it’s not just relationships. | 这个不仅仅出现在感情中 |
| [03:03] | Remember when that comedy club owner told Marshall | 还记得那个喜剧俱乐部老板跟马修说 |
| [03:05] | that his “Funny fish names” Stand-up act | 他那个”鱼之怪名”的单口相声 |
| [03:07] | didn’t have enough edge? | 没那么好笑吗 |
| [03:08] | Flounder? I barely know her! Oh! | 比目鱼 我根本不认识她 药! |
| [03:13] | Over-correction. | 矫枉过正 |
| [03:14] | Although it was better than his Chris Rock rip-off. | 当然 那比他模仿克里斯•洛克的段子好多了 |
| [03:17] | A trout with a daughter has one job. | 一条鳟鱼和他女儿只有一个任务 |
| [03:20] | One job! | 一个任务 |
| [03:22] | To keep her off the fishing pole! | 就是让他女儿远离鱼竿 |
| [03:26] | You suck! | 弱爆了 |
| [03:28] | Lily! | 莉莉 |
| [03:44] | I’m a little worried about Ted. | 我有点担心泰德 |
| [03:46] | I mean, we’re parents now, and even Barney is moving on. | 你看 咱们已经为人父母了 甚至巴尼都辞旧迎新了 |
| [03:51] | I just wish he had someone to talk to. | 真希望他能有个说体己话的人儿 |
| [03:54] | Even for a week. | 就算只有一个礼拜也好 |
| [03:56] | Or you know, four days, three nights. | 有个四天三夜什么的也行 |
| [03:58] | My mom is not staying with Ted! | 我妈不能住泰德那里 |
| [03:59] | He’d love her bacon- gummy bear pancakes. | 他会喜欢她做的培根小熊糖煎饼的 |
| [04:01] | I’m her special boy, I get her special pancakes. | 我是他儿子 她做的煎饼都归我 |
| [04:05] | But my dad is here nannying all the time. | 但我爸一直在这里带孩子 |
| [04:07] | Then add your mom in? | 你妈又要来 |
| [04:08] | This place is crowded enough already. | 这里已经够挤的了 |
| [04:11] | Hey, Lil, | 嘿 莉儿 |
| [04:13] | let me know how the pump’s working. | 吸奶器还好用吗 |
| [04:14] | I cleaned it for you. | 我帮你洗过了 |
| [04:16] | It’s fine, Dad. | 挺好的 爸 |
| [04:17] | Yeah, I had to check the suction, so I tested it on myself. | 呃 我为了检查吸力 还在自己身上试了下 |
| [04:21] | Oh, no. | 哦 不是吧 |
| [04:22] | Don’t worry, the suction’s fine, | 你放心 吸力很好 |
| [04:24] | actually kind of nice. | 其实还挺舒服的 |
| [04:28] | Okay, Barney is so not for real about Patrice. | 听我说 巴尼对帕特里斯完全不是真心 |
| [04:32] | Today he did the craziest, | 今天他做了件最疯狂的 |
| [04:34] | most clearly staged for my benefit thing ever. | 超出我接受范围的事儿 |
| [04:37] | Hey, Patrice, you ready for lunch? | 嘿 帕特里斯 去吃午饭吗 |
| [04:38] | Sure. | 好呀 |
| [04:41] | Right, right? | 对吧 对吧 |
| [04:43] | I mean, | 我是说 |
| [04:44] | what’s next, birthday gifts? | 接下来要干什么 送生日礼物 |
| [04:46] | Wake up, people, this is not an overcorrection, | 醒醒吧 同志们 这可不是矫枉过正 |
| [04:50] | it’s fraud, | 这是欺骗 |
| [04:50] | and we need to keep trying to stop this. | 我们必须继续尽力阻止他 |
| [04:53] | What do you mean, “Keep trying”? | “继续”尽力 什么意思 |
| [04:56] | Barney is not who you think he is. | 巴尼不是你想象的那个样子 |
| [04:58] | What do you mean? | 你想说什么 |
| [04:59] | Well, he has a book of plays he uses | 他有一本写着各种坑蒙拐骗的招数 |
| [05:01] | to trick women into sleeping with him. | 用来骗女人滚床单的宝典 |
| [05:03] | Oh, no way, Barney’s my honey bear. | 哦 才不是 巴尼是我的蜜糖熊熊 |
| [05:06] | Actually, one of his plays is called The Honey Bear. | 事实上 他有一招就叫做蜜糖熊熊 |
| [05:08] | He dresses up like Winnie the Pooh, | 他把自己扮成维尼小熊的样子 |
| [05:10] | and the next thing you know, his hand’s stuck in your pot. | 不知不觉的 他的手就伸进你小蜜壶里出不来啦 |
| [05:12] | Robin, you’re a doll for worrying about me, | 罗宾 谢谢你关心我 |
| [05:15] | but that doesn’t sound at all like my Barney. | 但你说的一点也不像我家巴尼 |
| [05:18] | Why won’t you let me help you, Patrice?! | 听人劝吃饱饭懂不 帕特里斯 |
| [05:23] | She can’t see that Barney is using her, | 她不知道巴尼在利用她 |
| [05:25] | and it breaks my heart. | 我心都要碎了 |
| [05:27] | You know, I-I-I love Patrice. | 你造吗 我爱帕特里斯 |
| [05:29] | We’re like sisters. | 我们就像亲姐妹一样 |
| [05:31] | You’ve never gotten through even one exchange | 你从来没和她好好说过话 |
| [05:33] | without screaming at her. | 只会对她尖叫 |
| [05:34] | Sisters fight, Ted! | 亲姐妹也吵架的 泰德 |
| [05:36] | But the bond is always there. | 但是情深永不渝 |
| [05:39] | -Okay? -Okay. | -懂不 -好吧 |
| [05:40] | And that’s why I need | 所以我得偷出 |
| [05:41] | to steal The Playbook and show it to Patrice, | 那本泡妞宝典 让她好好瞧瞧 |
| [05:44] | so she’ll believe me. | 她就会相信我了 |
| [05:46] | Or you could do almost anything else | 或者 你能做点任何别的事 |
| [05:49] | and not sound so creepy. | 只要听起来不这么猥琐 |
| [05:51] | Robin, | 罗宾 |
| [05:52] | seriously, this obsession isn’t healthy. | 真的 你这种执着 很不利于身心健康 |
| [05:55] | Just let it go. | 让他们去吧 |
| [05:58] | Maybe you guys are right. | 或许你们是对的 |
| [06:01] | Thanks for talking some sense into me. | 谢谢你们劝我 |
| [06:09] | Lily, can I ask you a question? | 莉莉 我能问你件事儿吗 |
| [06:11] | If it’s “Did somebody put gravel | 如果你想问 有没有人在你睡觉用的 |
| [06:13] | in the couch cushions you’re sleeping on,” | 沙发垫里填了小石子的话 |
| [06:15] | absolutely not. | 那绝对不是我 |
| [06:16] | What would be the motive? | 谁会干这种缺德事儿啊 |
| [06:18] | No, it’s not that. | 不 我问的不是这个 |
| [06:19] | Uh, don’t tell Marshall because he’s not ready, | 呃 先别告诉马修 他没有心理准备 |
| [06:22] | but I think I might want | 我可能要迎来第二春 |
| [06:26] | to get back out there and meet a nice man. | 走出阴霾 找个好男人 |
| [06:29] | Wow, that’s great, Judy. | 哇哦 那真好 朱迪 |
| [06:31] | And I thought you might be able to help | 我想请你帮忙 |
| [06:33] | because you always look so good. | 因为你总是那么美 |
| [06:34] | You think I look good? | 你觉得我美 |
| [06:36] | I mean, you dress like a Duluth streetwalker, | 我是说 你穿得像个德卢斯站街妓女 |
| [06:38] | but my son seems to like it. | 但我儿子好像还挺喜欢的 |
| [06:41] | I’ll take it. | 我接受啦 |
| [06:43] | So, any advice? | 那么 有什么建议么 |
| [06:46] | Well, first I’d throw out any giant sweater | 呃 首先我会丢掉所有马匹图案的 |
| [06:49] | with a horse on it. | 宽大毛衣 |
| [06:50] | Even the ones…? | 就连 |
| [06:51] | Even the ones that have manes with real horse hair, yes. | 连那些用真马鬃缝的一起丢掉 没错 |
| [06:53] | And second, I’d let the gals out to play a little more. | 第二 我会让姐妹们出来放放风 |
| [06:56] | The gals? | 姐妹们 |
| [06:59] | Oh… | 哦 |
| [07:01] | you mean the Minnesota Twins. | 你是说”明尼苏达姐妹花”啊 |
| [07:06] | Meanwhile, Robin was about to give up | 与此同时 罗宾已经快要放弃 |
| [07:08] | on ever finding The Playbook until… | 寻找泡妞宝典了 直到 |
| [07:18] | Ugh, the Bro Code, damn it. | 啊 兄弟法典 去死吧 |
| [07:36] | David Lee Roth’s autobiography? | 大卫•李•罗斯自传 |
| [07:38] | Crap. | 不会吧 |
| [07:41] | “To the best wingman ever. | 致最佳泡妞搭档 |
| [07:42] | “We’ll always have Panama. | 巴拿马永远是我们的 |
| [07:43] | Love, Diamond Dave.” | 爱你的 钻石大卫 |
| [07:53] | Patrice, it’s really nice of you to buy Robin a new purse, | 帕特里斯 你给罗宾买新包是好事 |
| [07:56] | but it’s not your fault that the other one got scratched. | 但原来那个刮坏了 也不是你的错 |
| [08:00] | Anyway, just get yourself over here. | 不管怎样 你先过来吧 |
| [08:02] | I’ve got the tree, the decorations, | 我弄到了圣诞树 装饰品 |
| [08:04] | and the know-how from Lethal Weapon 2 | 和致命武器2的技术指导 |
| [08:05] | to pop that shoulder right back into place. | 来教我们怎么接上你脱臼的肩膀 |
| [08:07] | Yep, there is not one reason to leave this apartment | 要我从家里离开哪怕一秒钟 |
| [08:10] | for even a second tonight. | 门儿都没有 |
| [08:16] | Ow. | 惨了 |
| [08:20] | How’s my favorite architect? Other than incredibly handsome. | 我最爱的那位 帅到掉渣的建筑师 近来可好 |
| [08:23] | Hey, Mom. | 嗨 妈妈 |
| [08:24] | No, it’s Robin. | 不 是罗宾啊 |
| [08:26] | What do you need? | 你要借什么东西 |
| [08:27] | For reasons that aren’t important, | 由于种种鸡毛蒜皮的原因 |
| [08:29] | I’m trapped in Barney’s closet. | 我困在巴尼的衣柜里了 |
| [08:30] | Help get me out, and I’ll return your Weekend at Bernie’s DVD. | 救我出来 我就把《老板去度假》的碟子还你 |
| [08:33] | No way, that’s not enough to get me involved in your crazy mess. | 没门 这点东西就想让我处理你那破事儿 |
| [08:36] | I’ll also go with you | 我会跟你去沙漠 |
| [08:37] | to the five-day fan convention in the desert. | 参加长达五天的粉丝见面会的 |
| [08:40] | You’ll come with me to Bernie Man? | 你会跟我去伯尼展吗 |
| [08:42] | Yes, just hurry. | 对啊 快点过来 |
| [08:43] | Ooh… | 哇哦 |
| [08:45] | someone’s excited to see me. | 是谁那么急不可耐啊 |
| [08:48] | Who’s Mama’s big boy? | 谁是老娘的大宝贝儿 |
| [08:50] | Who is Mama’s big boy? | 谁是老娘的大宝贝 |
| [08:53] | Wait. | 等等 |
| [08:56] | I am. | 我咯 |
| [08:57] | Mickey? | 米奇 |
| [08:59] | And I’ve been bad. | 我好坏 求惩罚哦 |
| [09:05] | Get off my mommy. | 放开我妈咪 |
| [09:19] | Hugh Hefner in your lobby right now. | 休•赫夫纳在楼下大厅 就现在 |
| [09:21] | I’m gonna grab my robe. | 我去取我战袍 |
| [09:32] | “Teddy’s first Christmas”? | 泰迪的第一次圣诞节 |
| [09:34] | Barney, are these my ornaments? | 巴尼 那是我的装饰球吗 |
| [09:36] | That could be anyone’s baby handprint, Ted. | 是谁家小孩的手印都有可能 泰德 |
| [09:38] | Now, come on, Hef’s old, but he moves like a cheetah. | 快来 赫夫纳虽然老了 但他依旧像豹一样迅速 |
| [10:04] | Why would you do that… | 你为什么搞那个… |
| [10:08] | with Mickey? | 还是和米奇 |
| [10:10] | I’ve been lonely, Marshall, and all the men | 我一直很孤单 马修 |
| [10:12] | in St. Cloud’s idea of romance is taking me ice fishing. | 而且圣克劳斯男人的浪漫方式 就是破冰钓鱼 |
| [10:18] | That was me and your father’s thing. | 那可是我和你爹的回忆 |
| [10:19] | Plus, | 另外 |
| [10:21] | call it an overcorrection, but it’s kind of nice | 虽说有点矫枉过正 但是这样也挺好的 |
| [10:24] | being with a sophisticated, big-city man. | 和一个饱经风霜的大城市男人一起 |
| [10:29] | You know, I don’t know what the big deal is. | 听着 我觉得这没什么大不了的 |
| [10:31] | You’ve been bumping uglies with my daughter for years. | 你和我女儿云来雨去这么多年了 |
| [10:34] | The second I climb up on your mom, it’s the end of the world? | 我刚爬到你妈身上 就到世界末日了吗 |
| [10:39] | How could you think that was Hef? | 你怎么会认为那是赫夫纳呢 |
| [10:41] | It was an honest mistake. | 我不是故意要骗你的 |
| [10:43] | That guy was black, Ted. | 那是黑人啊 泰德亲 |
| [10:45] | I guess I just don’t notice that kind of stuff. | 我压根没注意到那方面的事情 |
| [11:00] | We’ll get to the grotto one day, my pet. | 我们会到那片神秘的地方的 小伙子 |
| [11:03] | One day. | 总有一天 |
| [11:06] | How’s my favorite architect? Other than well-endowed. | 我最爱的 天赐巨根的 建筑师近来如何 |
| [11:08] | Mom? | 妈 |
| [11:10] | No, it’s Robin again. | 不 还是罗宾我 |
| [11:11] | Look, you’ve got to come back in and get my purse. | 听着 你得回来帮我 拿我的包 |
| [11:13] | Nope, I’m done. Bye, Robin. | 别 我不管你了 再见 罗宾 |
| [11:16] | Wait! | 别挂 |
| [11:17] | What if I told you I was looking at | 如果我告诉你我现在盯着 |
| [11:18] | your red cowboy boots right now? | 你的红靴子 你会怎样 |
| [11:21] | Describe them. | 描述一下 |
| [11:23] | They’re red and they’re cowboy boots. | 红色的 牛仔靴 |
| [11:24] | That’s them! | 就是它们了 |
| [11:26] | Why are they at Barney’s? | 为什么在巴尼那里 |
| [11:27] | Hey, Barney. | 你好 巴尼 |
| [11:29] | Just returning Ted’s boots I borrowed for Halloween. | 我来还万圣节时 向泰德借的靴子 |
| [11:31] | You were a cowboy? | 你COS牛仔吗 |
| [11:33] | No, my wife was Wonder Woman. | 不 是我老婆COS神奇女侠 |
| [11:34] | Can you believe Ted thinks a guy can get laid wearing these? | 你相信吗 泰德居然觉得 穿着这个会泡到妞 |
| [11:39] | Challenge accepted. | 接受挑战 |
| [11:43] | Do you know what that sound is, Ted? | 你知道这声音意味着什么 泰德 |
| [11:46] | That’s a red boot | 这是红靴 |
| [11:47] | about to be savagely cut up by my pocketknife! | 即将被我的小刀吞噬殆尽前的哀嚎 |
| [11:50] | You mean my pocketknife. | 你说的是我的小刀吧 |
| [11:51] | I lent it to you two years ago. | 我两年前借你的 |
| [11:58] | Hey. | 嘿 |
| [11:59] | Sorry about the Hugh Hefner mix-up. | 很抱歉我把休•赫夫纳认错了 |
| [12:01] | But seriously, Jon Bon Jovi is downstairs. | 但是这次是真的 约翰•邦乔维就在楼下 |
| [12:04] | You sure it isn’t my landlady, Mrs. Takahashi? | 你确定那不是我的女房东 高桥桑 |
| [12:07] | I’m serious. | 我是认真的 |
| [12:08] | The janitor just mopped the floor. | 清洁工刚刚把地拖了的 |
| [12:09] | Bon Jovi is literally standing next to a sign | 邦乔维就站在那块写着 |
| [12:11] | that says “Slippery When Wet.” | 小心地滑的牌子旁边 |
| [12:12] | Uh-uh. I want those ornaments back. | 把装饰球还给我 |
| [12:36] | Damn it, Ted! | 滚粗 泰德 |
| [12:37] | You get those ornaments all year. | 你整年都可以用这个球 |
| [12:39] | I just need ’em for Christmas! | 我就在圣诞节用用 |
| [12:41] | Oh. Hey, Patrice. | 是你啊 帕特里斯 |
| [12:42] | Did you have any trouble finding Rudolph? | 找小驯鹿有问题吗 |
| [12:44] | No, it was right on Ted’s fire escape like you said. | 没问题 就像你说的 在泰德的逃生梯上面 |
| [12:46] | Are you sure he’s okay with us borrowing it? | 你确定他不介意吗 |
| [12:48] | Positive. | 杠杠滴 |
| [12:53] | -I got your purse. -Oh, Ted, you’re the best! | -我拿到你的钱包了 -噢 泰德 你太靠谱了 |
| [12:56] | But I’m trapped in Barney’s living room closet. | 但我现在困在巴尼的客厅储藏室里了 |
| [12:57] | Oh, Ted, you’re the worst. | 噢 泰德 你太不靠谱了 |
| [12:59] | Okay, enough messing around. | 好了 别再添乱了 |
| [13:00] | I’m calling in The Wolf. | 我搬救兵去了 |
| [13:01] | -Lily? -Lily. | -莉莉么 -莉莉 |
| [13:11] | -What are you doing here? -What are you doing here? | -你在这里干什么 -你在这里又干什么 |
| [13:14] | Hold on, Marshall’s calling me on the other line. | 等一下 马修给我电话了 |
| [13:20] | Lily, I just saw the worst thing ever. | 莉莉 我刚目睹了最恐怖的事儿 |
| [13:22] | Kind of busy right now, Marshall. | 现在有点小忙 马修 |
| [13:24] | Quiet. He can hear you. | 安静点 他听得见你说话 |
| [13:25] | Who’s “He”? | 他是谁 |
| [13:26] | He’s coming! Everyone shut up! | 他要进来了 大家表出声 |
| [13:37] | I’m just gonna grab this star to put on top of the tree. | 等我把放在圣诞树上的星星拿出来 |
| [13:40] | It’s gonna be legend– wait for it– merry! | 这将变得 非常-等一下-开心 |
| [13:53] | What are you doing here, Lily? | 你在这做什么 莉莉 |
| [13:55] | I’ve been using Barney’s apartment | 我一直在借用巴尼的公寓 |
| [13:56] | to pump milk for Marvin. | 给马尔文挤母乳 |
| [13:57] | What?! Why? | 什么 为什么 |
| [13:59] | Our apartment is so crowded these days, | 我的公寓最近变得特别的拥挤 |
| [14:01] | I don’t get a minute to myself! | 我都没有自己的空间了 |
| [14:03] | I have a key to Barney’s apartment, | 我刚好有巴尼家的备用钥匙 |
| [14:05] | he has a kick-ass couch, | 他有超级舒服的沙发 |
| [14:06] | and he DVR’s all the Real Housewives shows, | 而且他的录影机里还有《家庭主妇》的节目 |
| [14:08] | including the reunion specials. | 包括重聚特辑 |
| [14:22] | What are you doing here? | 你在这里干什么 |
| [14:23] | I came to get The Playbook | 我来找那本泡妞宝典 |
| [14:24] | so I could show Patrice who Barney really is. | 然后 我就能拿给帕特里斯看看 巴尼到底是怎样的人 |
| [14:26] | Why can’t you just let them be happy? | 你怎么就不能让他俩快乐的在一起呢 |
| [14:29] | Because they’re not really happy, Lily! | 因为他们不是真正的快乐 莉莉 |
| [14:31] | Patrice, can you grab my computer from the bedroom? | 帕特里斯 你能去我房间把我的电脑拿来么 |
| [14:33] | I want to change my Facebook status to “Happy!” | 我想把我在脸书的状态改成”快乐” |
| [14:36] | You shouldn’t have that. | 你不该这么做 |
| [14:38] | You’re right. | 你说的没错 |
| [14:48] | What? | 怎么了 |
| [14:50] | Where is Ted? | 泰德在哪 |
| [14:52] | My label maker! | 我的标签机 |
| [14:57] | No! I’m never coming out! | 不 我永远都不会出来 |
| [14:59] | You know, Marshall, you’ve been in there for a while now. | 马修 你知道么 你已经在里面有段时间了 |
| [15:03] | And I couldn’t help but notice you chugged that Super Big Gulp. | 而且我不小心注意到 你刚刚灌下一杯超大号的饮料 |
| [15:07] | It’s not gonna work, Mickey. | 没用的 米奇 |
| [15:09] | My bladder’s as big as your betrayal! | 我的膀胱和你的背叛一样大 |
| [15:11] | I see. So it’s not gonna bother you to think | 我明白了 那我这么说 也不会困扰你吧 |
| [15:14] | about leaky faucets or open hydrants, | 那个漏水龙头 或者喷水的消防栓 |
| [15:17] | or rushing rivers, or… | 或者激流的湖水 或者… |
| [15:21] | Oh, God, I got to pee. Oh! | 噢 天啊 我要去尿尿 |
| [15:25] | What is this? | 这是什么 |
| [15:26] | Where did you find that? | 你在哪里找到它的 |
| [15:28] | I didn’t want to believe that this existed, | 我不敢相信这本书竟然存在 |
| [15:30] | but is this… The Playbook? | 这是泡妞宝典吗 |
| [15:32] | Let’s see him lie his way out of this one. | 让我们看看 他怎么帮自己打圆场 |
| [15:35] | Yes, it is. | 是的 没错 |
| [15:37] | These are | 这些 |
| [15:38] | all the tricks I used | 这些都是我用过的泡妞伎俩 |
| [15:39] | to get women to sleep with me. | 可以让她们跟我共睡一晚 |
| [15:41] | What do you mean, tricks? | 这什么意思 伎俩 |
| [15:43] | Like… | 比如说 |
| [15:46] | “The Two-Can-Play-at-That Game.” | 两人组的游戏 |
| [15:51] | Can I help you? | 有什么事么 |
| [15:53] | I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, but… | 我很抱歉的告诉你这事儿 不过 |
| [15:56] | my wife is having an affair with your husband. | 我妻子跟你丈夫搞在一起了 |
| [15:58] | I even found a list of | 我还发现了这个单子 |
| [16:00] | every dirty way they’ve enjoyed each others’ bodies. | 上面有他们彼此享受对方身体的所有姿势 |
| [16:03] | I wish there was some way we could get back at them. | 我真希望有什么方法 能让我们一起报复他们 |
| [16:07] | There is. | 有个方法 |
| [16:10] | We can kill them. | 我们可以杀了他们 |
| [16:19] | I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this… | 我很抱歉的告诉你这事儿 |
| [16:22] | You’re not who I thought you were. | 你不是我以为的那种人 |
| [16:24] | Patrice, I… | 帕特里斯 我… |
| [16:25] | I need some air. | 我得透透气 |
| [16:27] | I… | 我… |
| [16:29] | Come on, Patrice, you… | 不是这样的 帕特里斯 你… |
| [16:31] | You have got to be kidding me. | 你是在逗我吧 |
| [16:38] | Wait. Is that my mini-cooler?! | 等等 这是我的迷你冷藏箱 |
| [16:40] | Not now, Ted. Let’s go! | 现在不该说这个 泰德 我们走 |
| [16:42] | Shh! Shh! | 嘘 嘘 |
| [16:45] | Patrice, I have done some sleazy stuff to seduce women, but | 帕特里斯 我是用了下作手段去勾引女性 但是 |
| [16:52] | I want to be a better person. | 我想成为一个更好的人 |
| [16:53] | You make me want to be a better person. | 是你让我想做一个更好的人 |
| [16:55] | I can’t be with a man who has a playbook. | 我不能跟一个拥有泡妞宝典的人 在一起 |
| [16:58] | I understand. | 我理解 |
| [17:09] | Whoa. | 哇哦 |
| [17:11] | Whoa! | 哇哦 |
| [17:12] | Whoa! | 哇哦 |
| [17:13] | Whoa! | 不是吧 |
| [17:15] | Is that my garbage can?! | 那不是我的垃圾桶么 |
| [17:20] | I knew you were a keeper. | 我就知道 你是个值得信赖的人 |
| [17:22] | Oh. | 噢 |
| [17:30] | I should go explain this to the super. | 我可能得跟管理员解释下这个 |
| [17:32] | Hey, come with. There’s a small chance | 嘿 一起来吧 可能有机会在大厅见到 |
| [17:34] | Jon Bon Jovi’s down in the lobby. | 乔恩•邦•乔维呢 |
| [17:36] | “You Give Love a Bad Name” Is the first track | 那首”你给爱一个恶名”是在我自制的 |
| [17:38] | on my “Get Psyched” Mix! | “疯狂吧”混音碟里的第一首歌 |
| [17:39] | Mine, too! | 我的也是 |
| [17:47] | You still don’t believe those two are for real? | 你还是不相信 他们俩是认真的么 |
| [17:51] | I’ll take that. | 我来拿着这个 |
| [17:52] | The Ted Mosby Store is officially closed. | 泰德•莫斯比供应店正式休业 |
| [17:54] | What spilled in here? | 什么东西撒在里面了 |
| [17:56] | Breast milk. | 母乳 |
| [17:58] | Seriously, I give and give, | 说真的 我一直在不停给予 |
| [18:00] | and all I ask back is a little bit of respect. | 我所需要的回报 只是一点点尊重 |
| [18:09] | Okay, so tonight got weird. | 好吧 今晚太诡异了 |
| [18:12] | You have no idea. | 诡异到你难以想象 |
| [18:13] | My mom’s apparently ready to get back out there. | 我妈显然准备找回第二春了 |
| [18:16] | Marshall, she told me all about it, | 马修 她已经跟我说过了 |
| [18:19] | and I was happy to help. | 而且我很开心能帮上忙 |
| [18:20] | You helped?! Why? | 你帮忙了 为什么 |
| [18:22] | I know it’s hard to think of your mom as a woman with needs, | 让你意识到 你妈是个有需求的女性 是很困难的 |
| [18:25] | but you have to let her get out there | 但是你必须让她找到第二春 |
| [18:27] | and rediscover her sexuality with someone special. | 让她和某个特别的人 重新开发她的欲望 |
| [18:30] | Oh, you don’t know. | 看来你还不知道啊 |
| [18:33] | No, uh, Marshall, I do know. | 不 马修 我完全知道 |
| [18:37] | You just think it’s gross because it’s your parent. | 你觉得恶心 是因为她是你妈妈 |
| [18:39] | But you know what? | 但是你知道吗 |
| [18:41] | It’s beautiful. Mm. | 性爱是很美妙的 |
| [18:42] | My mom | 我妈 |
| [18:45] | and your dad are humping. | 和你爸搞在一起了 |
| [18:51] | I think you should be happy for them. | 我觉得你们应该为他们开心 |
| [18:53] | What? Why? | 什么 为什么 |
| [18:55] | What is good about this? | 这有什么好的 |
| [18:56] | Well, first of all, respect to Mickey. | 首先 向米奇致敬 |
| [18:59] | Your mom’s a piece. | 你妈挺辣的 |
| [19:01] | She’s no Ted’s mom, but she’s a piece. | 她虽不如泰德的妈妈 但是也挺辣的 |
| [19:03] | And secondly, | 其次 |
| [19:04] | I mean, it’s nice that they found each other. | 我是说 他们能够找到彼此也是一件很不错的事啊 |
| [19:08] | Sometimes you fall for someone you’d never expect, | 有时 你会爱上某个 你从没预料到的人 |
| [19:10] | but that doesn’t make it wrong. | 但是这没让生活变糟 |
| [19:12] | Doesn’t everyone deserve to be happy? | 每个人都应该得到幸福 不是吗 |
| [19:15] | I guess | 我觉得 |
| [19:17] | none of us thought of it that way. | 我们都没想到这一点 |
| [19:19] | Next round’s on me. | 下一轮我请 |
| [19:23] | Wow. | 哇哦 |
| [19:24] | I know. | 确实 |
| [19:26] | Barney’s lost it. | 巴尼迷失了 |
| [19:27] | He needs an intervention. | 得给他来个批斗大会 |
| [19:29] | Oh! Oh! Oh… | 噢 噢 噢 |
| [19:30] | Robin, after everything we’ve seen, | 罗宾 看了这么多事情以后 |
| [19:33] | do you still think Barney’s faking this? | 你还依然觉得 巴尼是装出来的吗 |
| [19:35] | No, but we have to stop it. | 不 但是我们还是得阻止一下 |
| [19:37] | Barney is not Barney anymore. | 他已经不再是巴尼了 |
| [19:39] | Well, people change. | 好吧 人都会变的 |
| [19:40] | But not this fast and this drastically. | 但是不该这么快 这么彻底 |
| [19:42] | This is a cry for help, okay? | 这是求救呐喊啊 好伐 |
| [19:44] | If I was out of control, I would want you guys to help me. | 要是我失去控制的话 我也想要你们来帮我 |
| [19:48] | So, what do you say? Intervention? | 所以 怎么说 批斗大会么 |
| [19:52] | Intervention. | 那就批斗吧 |
| [19:54] | Oh, good. You’re all here. | 噢 挺好的 你们都在 |
| [19:56] | Um, | 嗯 |
| [19:57] | when Barney shows up, | 当巴尼出现的时 |
| [19:59] | it’s important for him not to feel ganged up on, | 重要的是 别让他觉得我们在整他 |
| [20:01] | so, let’s start with, um, | 所以我们可以用这句话开头 |
| [20:03] | “We love you, and we’re worried about you.” | 我们爱你 我们也很担心你 |
| [20:05] | We love you, and we’re worried about you. | 我们爱你 我们也很担心你 |
| [20:08] | Oh. Great. | 噢 很好 |
| [20:10] | But you know, with less pity in your eyes. | 但是 你们眼里得少点怜悯 会更好 |
| [20:12] | Sweetie, sit down. | 小甜心 坐下吧 |
| [20:14] | Uh, no. Only the person getting the intervention sits down. | 额 不 只有被批斗的人才要坐下啊 |
| [20:19] | Yeah. | 对啊 |
| [20:21] | Oh. | 噢 |
| [20:24] | Please tell me this is about my drinking. | 是批斗我的酗酒问题吧 |
| [20:28] | Damn it. | 擦嘞 |
| [20:33] | So, we, um… we just wanted to say | 所以 我们只想说 |
| [20:35] | that we’re sorry for the way that we acted | 对于之前发现你们俩时的反应 |
| [20:39] | when we found out about you two. | 我们感到很抱歉 |
| [20:44] | Your happiness is what is most important, | 你们的幸福是最重要的事 |
| [20:47] | so, if you two want to date, it’s okay by us. | 所以 如果你们俩想交往的话 我们能接受 |
| [20:51] | Who said anything about dating? | 谁说我们要交往了 |
| [20:52] | This is just about sex. | 这仅仅是滚床单 |
| [20:55] | We’re family… with benefits. | 我们是水乳交融的一家人 |