| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:02] | Kids, in late 2012, | 孩子们 在2012年年末 |
| [00:04] | I received a very important text message. | 我收到了一条非常重要的短信 |
| [00:07] | 巴尼・斯丁森 罗宾和我订婚啦 | |
| [00:11] | Uncle Barney and aunt Robin were engaged. | 巴尼叔叔和罗宾阿姨订婚了 |
| [00:14] | Marking a truly happy time for our little group. | 我们这个小集体进入了无比欢乐的时光 |
| [00:18] | The problem was, | 而问题是 |
| [00:20] | one of us was definitely not happy | 我们中的某人倒是不怎么开心 |
| [00:25] | Marvin will not stop crying. | 马文止不住地哭啊 |
| [00:27] | What do you guys think it is? Is he hungry? | 你们觉得是什么原因 是不是肚子饿了 |
| [00:29] | Well, that must be it! | 肯定是这个原因 |
| [00:32] | Thank you for thinking of that, Ted! | 真是一语惊醒梦中人啊 泰德 |
| [00:34] | And here we were, just watering him, | 瞧瞧我们俩 只知道给他浇水 |
| [00:37] | facing him towards sun light! | 让他朝阳 进行光合作用 |
| [00:40] | Sorry, I haven’t slept in… January. | 抱歉 自新年起 我就没睡过觉 |
| [00:44] | Food going in isn’t the problem. | 马文进食不是问题 |
| [00:46] | It’s what’s coming out, or not coming out. | 排便才是 又或者说没有排便 |
| [00:49] | He hasn’t pooped in three days. | 他已经3天没有便便了 |
| [00:51] | Normally, I wouln’t wish one of his dirty diapers on my worst enemy. | 一般来说 我对脏尿布是恨之入骨 |
| [00:55] | But now, I kinda miss pop in the hood in the morning, | 但现在 我倒是挺想念早晨打开尿布的时光 |
| [00:58] | – and finding that first big, juicy, black– – Lily! | -看见那大条多汁 黑乎乎的… -莉莉 |
| [01:02] | I’m eating chili. I’m eating chili, Lily. | 我这正吃香辣炖肉酱呢 莉莉 |
| [01:06] | confetti! | 彩条 |
| [01:07] | Big blast of confetti! | 简直就是彩条大爆炸啊 |
| [01:09] | Normally, the kid’s a confetti machine. | 一般来说 那孩子就是彩条喷射机啊 |
| [01:11] | He’s Rip Taylor in a diaper. | 他就是婴儿版的雷普・泰勒 |
| [01:11] | 美国喜剧演员 经常以撒彩条方式登场 | |
| [01:14] | I have a feeling at this point, | 我有预感 这个时刻 |
| [01:15] | Rip Taylor is Rip Taylor in a diaper. | 我家的雷普・泰勒又在喷”彩条”了 |
| [01:17] | And with that image, dinner is done. | 如此生动的视觉形容 这饭是不用吃了 |
| [01:20] | – Hey, guys. – Well, well, well. | -伙计们 -啧啧 |
| [01:22] | Here comes the bride. | 新娘驾到 |
| [01:24] | Now the annoying part, right? | 最棘手的部分要开始了 对吧 |
| [01:26] | Planning the wedding? | 策划婚礼 |
| [01:27] | So not fun, right? | 太无趣了 对吧 |
| [01:29] | I don’t know– I’m kind of looking forward to it. | 怎么说呢 我还挺期待的 |
| [01:31] | Fine, I’ll do it for you. | 好吧 那我就帮帮你吧 |
| [01:33] | First thing we need to do is set a date. | 首先要定好时间 |
| [01:34] | May 25, 2013. | 2013年5月25日 |
| [01:36] | Thank you, Ted. | 谢谢你 泰德 |
| [01:37] | The ladies are talking. | 女人说话 男人闪边 |
| [01:39] | Actually, that is the date. | 其实 这就是婚期 |
| [01:40] | Ted offered to help with the planning a little. | 泰德毛遂自荐 帮忙策划了一点 |
| [01:43] | And, well, uh… | 然后呢… |
| [01:46] | That’s a big binder. | 这文件夹真够大的 |
| [01:47] | Oh, this? | 这个吗 |
| [01:48] | This is just cakes. | 这只是婚礼蛋糕的内容而已 |
| [01:51] | Anyway, we’re having the ceremony | 对了 典礼地点选在 |
| [01:52] | at that beautiful little church out on Long Island, | 长岛上那个美丽的小教堂 |
| [01:54] | where Victoria almost got married– lovely spot. | 也就是我和维多利亚差点结婚的地方 |
| [01:57] | And then we’re gonna have a reception in a big white tent | 在酒店前的草坪 搭一个巨大的白色帐篷 |
| [01:59] | on the front lawn of the hotel. | 用来宴请宾客 |
| [02:01] | Oh, and, uh, the colors are cream and lilac. | 颜色嘛 以乳白和淡紫为主 |
| [02:07] | I will cut you, bitch. | 老娘要把你碎尸万段 贱人 |
| [02:08] | No, L-L-Lily… | 别 莉莉… |
| [02:20] | 老爸老妈浪漫史 | |
| [02:25] | I’m cool, I’m cool. | 我没事 没事了 |
| [02:27] | Hey, Robin, where’s Barney? | 罗宾 巴尼人呢 |
| [02:28] | Did he skip town already? | 才订婚就跑路了吗 |
| [02:31] | If so, exactly what time was it? | 若真是跑了 什么时候跑的 |
| [02:33] | It’s important for the over/under. | 具体时间对于赌注输赢很重要 |
| [02:35] | Barney’s fine, it’s just… well, earlier this morning… | 巴尼没事 只是 今天早晨… |
| [02:39] | So, it’s been three days since I said yes. | 距我答应你求婚已经三天了 |
| [02:42] | True. | 的确 |
| [02:43] | And your panic attacks are getting | 你的恐慌发作的时间也越来越短 |
| [02:44] | shorter and further apart. | 次数越来越少 |
| [02:46] | I can’t do this! I feel like I’m drowning! | 我办不到 我快要窒息而亡了 |
| [02:50] | Also true. | 确实如此 |
| [02:51] | So I guess we’re officially engaged. | 看来我们可以正式算订婚了 |
| [02:54] | Maybe we should tell our parents. | 或许我们该通知一下父母吧 |
| [02:55] | I assume my dad already knows– you did call him | 我猜我爸已经知道了吧 你给他打过电话 |
| [02:57] | and got his permission, right? | 得到了他的允许 对吧 |
| [02:58] | Yeah, yeah, Robin. | 是啊 是啊 罗宾 |
| [03:00] | I bought you with an ox and some spices from the East. | 你是我用几头公牛和来自东土的香料换回来的 |
| [03:04] | Uh, he’s gonna put you in a cage. | 他要把你关在笼子里 |
| [03:06] | and send you on horseback to my remote desert camp. | 放在马背上 运到我那偏远的沙漠营地里 |
| [03:09] | – Okay, Barney… – Hold on, I’m not done. | -好了 巴尼 -慢着 我还没说完 |
| [03:11] | Where you’ll be bathed in perfumes and oils | 你用香水和精油沐浴净身 |
| [03:14] | and delivered to my tent. | 然后送至我的帐篷中 |
| [03:15] | After you perform the traditional Dance of the Seven Veils, | 在你表演完那传统的七重面纱之舞后 |
| [03:18] | we’ll adjourn to the tiger skin rug where we’ll… | 我们将躺在虎皮地毯上… |
| [03:21] | – Barney… – Robin! | -巴尼 -罗宾 |
| [03:22] | If we’re gonna build a marriage together, | 我俩若想共筑婚姻 |
| [03:25] | we have got to stop interrupting each other all the time. | 就千万不要总是打断对方说话 |
| [03:28] | Fine, finish your story. | 行吧 讲完你的故事 |
| [03:29] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [03:31] | Where we’ll do it. | 翻云覆雨 |
| [03:35] | Did you ask for my father’s permission? | 你有得到我爸的允许吗 |
| [03:36] | No, I did not. | 没有 |
| [03:38] | So, as some of you know, my dad is a little scary. | 你们也知道 我爹有点小可怕 |
| [03:41] | A little? Dude’s a stone cold Slytherin. | 才有点吗 你爸堪称食死徒般的可怕 |
| [03:44] | He always looks like he just came from slapping | 他面露凶光 总感觉像是刚抽完 |
| [03:47] | some guy tied to a chair in a back room. | 某个捆在密室椅子上的人的耳光 |
| [03:49] | Anyway, we go get lunch… | 总之 我们三个一同吃午餐 |
| [03:52] | Look, I know I already told you this, | 听着 我知道我警告过你 |
| [03:53] | but my dad is a scary guy. | 但我爸真的很可怕 |
| [03:56] | Please, I think I can handle… | 拜托 我能搞定他 |
| [04:00] | Oh, vampire in the daylight, vampire in the daylight! | 不惧光的吸血鬼 不惧光的吸血鬼啊 |
| [04:02] | Oh, my God. | 天啊 |
| [04:06] | Hello, Robin. | 你好 罗宾 |
| [04:07] | Hello, sir. | 你好 先生 |
| [04:09] | Put that thing away, | 把手拿开 |
| [04:10] | Give your old man a hug. | 给你老爸一个拥抱 |
| [04:14] | And then it got really scary. | 而噩梦才刚刚开始 |
| [04:17] | I’m glad you could meet me here | 我很高兴 你们能约在 |
| [04:19] | at my favorite restaurant. | 我最喜欢的餐厅见面 |
| [04:21] | Carol and I come here all the time. | 我和卡罗尔经常来这里 |
| [04:24] | I… you… | 我…你… |
| [04:26] | When… Da… who’s Carol? | 什么…怎么… 卡罗尔是谁 |
| [04:28] | Oh, right, you haven’t met Carol, um… | 对哦 你还没见过卡罗尔呢 |
| [04:30] | Very special woman. | 非常特别的女人 |
| [04:32] | 48 years old, dental hygienist, no kids. | 年方48 牙科清洁师 膝下无子 |
| [04:36] | Likes Zumba. | 喜欢跳尊巴舞 |
| [04:38] | She’s the reason I moved to New York City. | 为了她我才搬到纽约来 |
| [04:40] | Eight months ago. Thanks for the call, by the way. | 8个月前就来了 谢谢您现在才告诉我 |
| [04:42] | Well, I figured you knew. | 我以为你知道呢 |
| [04:44] | It’s on my Facebook page. | 我在脸书页面上更新了 |
| [04:47] | You really should respond to my friend request. | 你真应该通过我的好友申请 |
| [04:49] | I post a lot of great stuff. | 我经常贴一些很棒的东西 |
| [04:51] | Are you familiar with memes? | 你知道什么是”网络爆红”吗 |
| [04:53] | There’s a cat who says, | 一只猫竟然说 |
| [04:55] | “I can has cheeseburger?” | “我想吃芝士汉堡” |
| [04:57] | Okay, what the hell happened to you? | 你到底怎么了 |
| [05:00] | Robin, I know in the past, I have been… | 罗宾 我知道过去 我一直… |
| [05:04] | emotionally distant. | 挺冷漠的 |
| [05:06] | But Carol has brought out | 但是卡罗尔发掘了 |
| [05:08] | a whole new side of me. | 我全新的一面 |
| [05:10] | I have a new outlook on life | 我有了全新的人生观 |
| [05:12] | a devil-may-care insouciance that embodies the credo, | 无忧无虑逍遥自在 就像我的信条 |
| [05:16] | “No shirt, no shoes, no problem.” | “没衣服 没鞋子 没问题” |
| [05:19] | Robin… | 罗宾 |
| [05:20] | I’m fun now. | 我变得有趣了 |
| [05:22] | Oh, God. | 天啊 |
| [05:23] | – He’s fun now? – That does not sound fun. | -他变得有趣了吗 -听起来一点也不有趣啊 |
| [05:26] | No child should have to see a parent go through that. | 孩子不该看到家长变成那个样子 |
| [05:28] | Well, it probably took some of the pressure | 这样的话 巴尼对见家长这件事的 |
| [05:30] | off the Barney of it all. | 压力应该减轻不少吧 |
| [05:33] | Sir, hi. | 您好 先生 |
| [05:35] | My name is Barney Stinson. | 我叫巴尼・斯丁森 |
| [05:37] | This is Barney? | 这是巴尼吗 |
| [05:39] | This man is blond. | 这货居然是金发 |
| [05:41] | Grown men are not blond. | 成熟男人才不会留金发呢 |
| [05:43] | Dad. | 爸爸 |
| [05:45] | Pleased to meet you. | 很高兴见到你 |
| [05:46] | That’s a very… | 你的头发… |
| [05:48] | fun hair color. | 颜色真搞笑 |
| [05:50] | That’s nothing– when he met me, his first words were, | 那不算什么 他和我见面时第一句话是 |
| [05:52] | – “Nice blouse” – You were wearing a blouse. | -女衬衫不错 -你穿的就是女衬衫 |
| [05:54] | It was not a blouse! | 才不是女衬衫呢 |
| [05:55] | Oh, great. You’re all here. | 太好了 你们都在 |
| [05:56] | Let’s talk about our wedding band. | 商讨一下婚礼乐队的事吧 |
| [05:58] | How much do you guys think they should rock? | 你们觉得他们应该有多嗨 |
| [05:59] | ‘Cause I vote, a million. | 我觉得应该嗨翻天 |
| [06:01] | Yeah, yeah, I think we already settled on a DJ, so… | 是啊 我们早就定好DJ了啊 |
| [06:05] | Lily, do you remember the band you guys | 莉莉 你还记得你们结婚时 |
| [06:07] | almost hired for your wedding? | 差点请的乐队吗 |
| [06:08] | Remember them? | 何止记得 |
| [06:09] | I’ll call them up and book them for you. | 我可以帮你打电话预定 |
| [06:12] | Just say the word. | 只要你一句话 |
| [06:13] | Yeah, yeah, yeah, I feel like we keep coming back | 是啊 是啊 我觉得我们又绕回来 |
| [06:15] | to this DJ thing. | 说DJ的事了 |
| [06:17] | What do you think, baby? | 你觉得呢 宝贝 |
| [06:18] | Yeah, I don’t think anyone should book anything right now. | 我觉得现在决定 还为时尚早 |
| [06:22] | Why not? | 为什么 |
| [06:23] | Well, I am going to go the room marked “Spaghettis,” | 我要去标有”意大利面”的洗手间了 |
| [06:26] | which I’m hoping is the ladies room. | 但愿那是女厕 |
| [06:28] | “Meatballs” Has to be men’s, right? | “肉球”什么的应该是指男厕 对吧 |
| [06:30] | I don’t know what the hell “Calamaris” Is. | 虽然我搞不懂”鱿鱼”代表的是什么鬼东西 |
| [06:41] | Sir, I-I-I… | 先生 我… |
| [06:42] | Permission denied. | 我不准 |
| [06:44] | And it turns out, “Spaghettis” are men. | 结果 “意大利面”是男厕 |
| [06:48] | I saw a noodle. | 我还看见了一根”面条” |
| [06:54] | – He said no? – Yeah, I don’t know what we’re gonna do. | -他不同意吗 -对啊 我不知道该如何是好 |
| [06:57] | Relax, baby. I got this. | 别紧张 宝贝 交给我 |
| [06:59] | I know how to be persuasive. | 我知道如何说服他人 |
| [07:01] | The next day, Uncle Barney met Robin’s dad | 第二天 巴尼叔叔约罗宾的爸爸 |
| [07:03] | for lunch at the same restaurant. | 在同一家餐厅吃午饭 |
| [07:05] | This time, with a plan. | 这次 他制定了计划 |
| [07:07] | Hello, Mr. Scherbatsky. | 您好 特布罗斯基先生 |
| [07:09] | I think we got off on the wrong foot. | 我想我第一次没给您留下好印象 |
| [07:13] | You have my attention. | 你现在吸引到我的注意了 |
| [07:15] | I left the meatball at home | 我让”肉球”待在家里 |
| [07:16] | so I could talk to you spaghetti to spaghetti. | 这样我们就能”面”对”面”谈谈 |
| [07:18] | Sir… | 先生 |
| [07:19] | I’m very serious about marrying your daughter. | 我是诚心诚意想娶您的女儿 |
| [07:22] | Barney, when I wanted to marry Robin’s mother, | 巴尼 我想和罗宾的妈妈结婚时 |
| [07:27] | I slaughtered a whole family of bears | 我赤手空拳屠杀了 |
| [07:30] | with my bare hands. | 一窝熊 |
| [07:31] | I gave the pelts | 我把熊皮 |
| [07:34] | and the bear meat to her father as tribute. | 和熊肉给她爸爸作为聘礼 |
| [07:38] | You know what we call that in Canada? | 你知道这在加拿大叫什么吗 |
| [07:41] | Manners. | 规矩 |
| [07:42] | Would either of you like a mudslide? | 你们想来一杯”山崩”饮料吗 |
| [07:44] | I just had one. Thank you. | 我刚”崩”过了 谢谢 |
| [07:46] | I’ll have a Jazzy Pizzazzy Razzleberry Rainbow Milkshake | 我要一杯浮彩绚丽彩虹奶昔 |
| [07:51] | with a swirly straw? | 上面插一根弯吸管 |
| [07:53] | You didn’t say the magic word. | 你忘了说那个神奇的[请]字哦 |
| [07:56] | I’ll go get your drink. | 小的这就去拿您的饮料 |
| [08:00] | Still crying, huh? | 还哭着呢 |
| [08:01] | Yeah. We’ve tried everything short | 对 我们试尽了一切办法 |
| [08:03] | of a pack of smokes and a cup of coffee. | 除了让他抽烟和喝咖啡 |
| [08:05] | Still nothing but clean dipeys. | 他尿布还是干干净净 没有粑粑 |
| [08:07] | There’s only one explanation for this. | 只剩下一个解释了 |
| [08:10] | Marvin has potty-trained himself. | 马文自己学会了上厕所 |
| [08:11] | He sneaks into the bathroom while we’re sleeping. | 他趁我们睡觉时去厕所 |
| [08:13] | I’ll ask Barney to check the tapes. | 我去让巴尼看监控录像 |
| [08:15] | Barney has cameras in our bathroom?! | 巴尼在咱家厕所装了摄像头吗 |
| [08:17] | Well, I mean, don’t you think? | 你难道觉得他没有吗 |
| [08:20] | – Hey, guys. – Robin, good. | -你们好 -罗宾 真好 |
| [08:22] | You’re here. Bad news. | 你来了 坏消息 |
| [08:24] | That wedding band you wanted is booked for May 25. | 你想要的那婚礼乐队5月25日已经被预定了 |
| [08:27] | Oh, no. What are you gonna do? | 不是吧 你打算怎么办 |
| [08:29] | Oh! Oh, hey! Here’s an idea. | 对了 我有个主意 |
| [08:32] | Oh, God, Ted, if you suggest a DJ… | 天啊 泰德 如果你提议请DJ |
| [08:34] | Far from it. | 才不是 |
| [08:35] | I was going to suggest a band. | 我是想推荐一支乐队 |
| [08:37] | 爵士乐队 其代表作Celebration是婚礼常用曲 | |
| [08:37] | A band called… Kool and the Gang. | 名字叫库尔伙伴 |
| [08:40] | Robin, | 罗宾 |
| [08:41] | would you like for me | 你愿意让我 |
| [08:43] | to get Kool and the Gang to play at your wedding? | 预定库尔伙伴在你的婚礼上表演吗 |
| [08:46] | Uh… I… yeah, guess so. | 应该 可以吧 |
| [08:47] | And would it be okay if they invited their friends, | 他们邀请朋友来可以吗 |
| [08:50] | Beyonce and-and ABBA, | 碧昂斯 阿巴乐队 |
| [08:52] | and the Bee Gees, | 比吉斯乐队 |
| [08:53] | and Journey, | 旅途乐队 |
| [08:54] | and Queen? | 皇后乐队 |
| [08:55] | What? You’re…? What are you say…? | 什么 你说什么 |
| [08:57] | How… how is that even possible? | 这一切怎么可能办到 |
| [08:58] | I’ll tell you how. | 我告诉你怎么办到 |
| [09:00] | You hire a DJ. | 请个DJ |
| [09:01] | Wicka-wicka-wicka-burn. | 小手一转 万事俱备 |
| [09:03] | Ugh! God, this is, like, | 天啊 这大概是 |
| [09:04] | the fifteenth time my dad has sent me a friend request. | 我爸第十五次给我发送好友申请了 |
| [09:07] | I’m just gonna hit “Accept.” | 我干脆点”接受”算了 |
| [09:08] | – No, no, no. – No, no, no, no, don’t do it, Robin. | -千万不行 -别这样 罗宾 |
| [09:10] | You don’t want to see what’s behind that door. | 你不会想看见那扇门背后都藏着什么 |
| [09:12] | What are you talking about? | 你在说什么呢 |
| [09:14] | He’s talking about | 他说的是 |
| [09:15] | 风靡美国的情色小说 | |
| [09:15] | my mom’s 2,000-word review of Fifty Shades of Grey. | 我妈为《五十度灰》写的两千字书评 |
| [09:20] | And 14 of those words were “Vulva.” | 其中有十四个词都是”阴部” |
| [09:22] | You’re gonna get endless requests to play some game | 你会收到无数多的邀请 |
| [09:26] | that has something to do with gangsters and farming. | 邀你去玩黑帮游戏或者开心农场 |
| [09:28] | Never mind the embarrassing cheerleading photos | 还有令人尴尬的高中时代 |
| [09:31] | from high school. | 参加拉拉队的照片 |
| [09:32] | – Begged my mom to burn those. – Robin, | -我都跪求我我妈烧掉那些照片了 -罗宾 |
| [09:34] | trust me, | 相信我 |
| [09:35] | no good can come from accepting that friend request. | 接受父母的好友申请 绝对没有好下场 |
| [09:38] | Yeah, I-I think I may have given you guys the wrong impression. | 我大概是误导了你们大家 |
| [09:43] | Okay, my dad is actually not that bad of a guy. | 我爸他其实不是个坏人 |
| [09:45] | Do it, Barney. Squeeze that trigger. | 下手吧 巴尼 果断扣下扳机 |
| [09:48] | I don’t want to do this. | 人家不想做嘛 |
| [09:49] | Well, you think I wanted to kill that bear? | 你以为我当年想杀掉那只熊吗 |
| [09:51] | – Yeah, kind of. – Oh, yeah, you’re right. | -我觉得你是想的 -你说得对 |
| [09:56] | I can’t do this. | 我下不了手 |
| [10:02] | What… what the hell is this?! | 你们在搞什么呢 |
| [10:03] | Your dad is crazy! | 你爸是个疯子 |
| [10:05] | He wanted me to kill Fluffernutter! | 他非逼我杀了棉花酱不可 |
| [10:08] | I told you not to give him a name! | 告诉你不要给他取名字 |
| [10:09] | Well, I did! | 我就取了 |
| [10:10] | I gave him a name and a backstory! | 我不但取了名 还帮他编了个来历 |
| [10:12] | He comes from a magical rabbit warren | 他来自一个魔法小兔窝 |
| [10:14] | underneath the old rusty tractor. | 一家老小住在老锈的拖拉机下 |
| [10:16] | He was the runt of the litter, but he persevered. | 他出生时先天不足 但却坚韧地活了下来 |
| [10:18] | – He… – Oh, give me this. Give it to me! | -他… -把枪给我 还给我 |
| [10:22] | Dad, is there, um, something you want to tell me? | 爸 你就没有什么事要告诉我吗 |
| [10:26] | Well, in the early ’80s, I did some wet work for the CIA. | 80年代初期 我曾为中央情报局干过脏活 |
| [10:29] | Yes, Daddy, I remember the bedtime stories. | 爸 睡前故事我记忆犹新 |
| [10:30] | No, I’m, uh, talking about your Facebook page? | 不 我指的是你的脸书 |
| [10:33] | It says you’re married. | 上面写着你结婚了 |
| [10:36] | Well… | 那个 |
| [10:37] | yes, uh, Carol and I were in Key Largo | 是的 卡罗尔和我当时在基拉戈 |
| [10:40] | 老牌乡村摇滚歌星 | |
| [10:40] | at a performance of the recording artist James Buffett. | 参加吉米・布菲特的演唱会 |
| [10:43] | We’re what are known as Parrotheads. | 我们是铁杆的”鹦鹉头” |
| [10:43] | 鹦鹉头是吉米・布菲特粉丝团的昵称 | |
| [10:46] | And, uh, well, one thing led to the other, and, uh… | 总而言之 一来二去 |
| [10:52] | we got married. | 我们就结婚了 |
| [10:54] | You didn’t want to tell me about it? | 你不打算告诉我这件事吗 |
| [10:55] | I Facebooked it… on Facebook. | 我发脸书了啊 在脸书上宣布了 |
| [10:59] | Okay, you know what, Dad? | 好吧 知道吗 老爸 |
| [11:00] | Since you obviously have no interest in involving me | 既然你不想让我和你的私生活 |
| [11:03] | in your personal life, I may as well tell you: | 扯上关系 我就告诉你 |
| [11:06] | Barney and I are already engaged. | 巴尼和我已经订婚了 |
| [11:09] | That’s right. | 她说得没错 |
| [11:11] | I’m behind you on this, Robin. | 我是你的坚强后盾 罗宾 |
| [11:14] | Directly behind you. | 坚定地躲在你背后 |
| [11:16] | Anyway, this is happening. | 总之 事情就是这样 |
| [11:18] | And since I wasn’t invited to your wedding, | 既然你不邀请我参加你的婚礼 |
| [11:20] | you’re not invited to mine. | 你也别想来参加我的婚礼 |
| [11:22] | Good-bye. | 再见吧 |
| [11:29] | Oh, no! | 不好了 |
| [11:31] | Fluffernutter peed all over my pants! | 棉花酱尿了我一裤子 |
| [11:40] | So, I just called up that wedding band’s road manager | 我给那个婚礼乐队的经纪人打了电话 |
| [11:43] | to get the number of the people who booked them for the 25th, | 要来了预定25号的人的电话 |
| [11:47] | so I could bribe them into giving up the band. | 希望能塞点钱让他们取消预定 |
| [11:49] | You did what?! That is so dishonest! | 你都做了什么 这实在太卑鄙了 |
| [11:51] | No matter what happens next, I think we can all agree, | 不管接下来发生了什么 我们都一致同意 |
| [11:54] | you’re in the wrong here, Lily. | 你真是卑鄙无耻 莉莉 |
| [11:55] | It’s your number, Ted. | 那就是你的电话 泰德 |
| [11:57] | All right, you got me! | 好吧 被你逮到了 |
| [11:59] | I put a non-refundable deposit on that band | 我付了乐队一笔无法退还的定金 |
| [12:01] | to keep Barney and Robin from booking them. | 好让巴尼和罗宾订不到他们 |
| [12:03] | And I would’ve gotten away with it | 我本来可以成功骗过你们 |
| [12:05] | if it wasn’t a really stupid and expensive plan. | 如果这计划不是那么愚蠢又那么昂贵的话 |
| [12:08] | Dude, why would you do that? | 老兄 你干嘛要这么做 |
| [12:10] | I don’t see what the big deal is. | 我不觉得这有什么重要的 |
| [12:12] | The big deal is Robin deserves better | 重要的是罗宾值得拥有更好的选择 |
| [12:14] | than some crappy, unreliable band! | 而不是某支蹩脚又不靠谱的乐队 |
| [12:16] | Sure, bands seem cool | 乐队表面看起来是不错 |
| [12:18] | with their nice suits and their well-rehearsed moves, | 衣服帅 举手抬足都精心排练过 |
| [12:20] | but let’s be honest: bands let you down. | 可老实说 乐队总会让人失望 |
| [12:23] | They-They cheat, they deceive, | 他们会撒谎 欺骗 |
| [12:26] | and God knows they’ve slept with every girl in New York City. | 他们睡遍了纽约市的每个女人 |
| [12:27] | I just, I can’t believe | 我只是不敢相信 |
| [12:28] | Robin is going through with marrying… | 罗宾要忍受嫁给… |
| [12:31] | the idea of getting a band. | 请乐队这个想法 |
| [12:34] | And that is, that’s a perfectly normal way to phrase that. | 这句话没有一点语法错误哦 |
| [12:36] | Okay, Ted, bar. Now. | 好吧 泰德 去酒吧 马上走 |
| [12:39] | Nice try. | 想得美 |
| [12:41] | You’re gonna stick me with that baby | 你就想把孩子丢给我 |
| [12:43] | so that you guys can spend five minutes | 然后去酒吧花五分钟 |
| [12:45] | sorting out his love life, | 解决他的爱情烦恼 |
| [12:46] | followed by an hour of you getting drunk | 接下来的一小时就是喝得醉醺醺 |
| [12:48] | and pretending to be in The Departed. | 大玩《无间道风云》的角色扮演 |
| [12:50] | You know what? I’m sorry, Lily, okay? | 好吧好吧 我很抱歉 莉莉 |
| [12:53] | But I just need to know: | 可我只想知道一件事 |
| [12:55] | – Are you a cop? – I’m not a cop! | -你是警察吗 -我不是警察 |
| [12:56] | – Are you a cop? – I’m not a cop! | -你是警察吗 -我不是警察 |
| [13:00] | I got this. | 我来处理这事 |
| [13:01] | Ted, you, me, upstairs. | 泰德 你跟我 上楼 |
| [13:03] | Roof. Now. | 去楼顶 马上走 |
| [13:04] | – What? It’s January. – Move! | -哈 现在一月寒冬 -快走 |
| [13:07] | Let’s cut the crap. | 废话就不说了 |
| [13:08] | We’re both freezing– | 我俩都冻得要死 |
| [13:09] | just say it and we can go downstairs. | 所以赶紧说完 我们就可以下楼了 |
| [13:11] | Say what? | 说什么啊 |
| [13:12] | Say how much you hate | 说你有多不爽 |
| [13:13] | that Robin and Barney are getting married. | 罗宾要和巴尼结婚的事 |
| [13:15] | What? No. I… | 什么 不 我 |
| [13:17] | I’m happy for them. | 我为他们感到高兴啊 |
| [13:18] | I-I encouraged Robin to go after Barney. | 我还鼓励罗宾去追巴尼 |
| [13:21] | I know– because you thought you were okay letting her go. | 我知道 因为你以为自己可以放手 |
| [13:24] | But now that she’s really gone, | 但现在她真的要嫁人了 |
| [13:26] | it hurts. | 你大受打击 |
| [13:28] | Kids, at that point in my life, | 孩子们 在那个时候 |
| [13:30] | I’d been hurt quite a few times already. | 我的人生中已经受过不少次”打击”了 |
| [13:32] | Today, we’re gonna braid friendship bracelets. | 今天 我们要带上友情手链 |
| [13:40] | *I fell in love… | 我深深地爱上了* |
| [13:43] | There is a very simple explana… ah! | 这件事其实很简单 |
| [13:46] | This one time, I was playing tennis, and… | 有一次我正在打网球 |
| [13:55] | Hey, Schmosby, remember when you dookied | 对了 死尿斯比 还记得那次你在 |
| [13:57] | in your pants down by the lake? | 湖边尿裤子的事吗 |
| [13:59] | Unbelievable! | 真不敢相信 |
| [14:08] | Do you love me? | 你爱我吗 |
| [14:11] | No. | 不爱 |
| [14:15] | But when I saw that text message, | 但当我看到那条短信 |
| [14:16] | and found out Robin was engaged, | 发现罗宾已经订婚时 |
| [14:17] | 巴尼・斯丁森 罗宾和我订婚啦 | |
| [14:19] | it was like: | 感觉就像 |
| [14:23] | Unbelievable! | 真不敢相信 |
| [14:25] | No. | 不爱 |
| [14:27] | …times a million. | 这些加起来 再乘以一百万倍 |
| [14:30] | I am happy for them. | 我真心为他们高兴 |
| [14:31] | Is all you’ll let yourself say out loud, | 你只敢让自己这样说 |
| [14:33] | because if you said anything to the contrary, well, | 因为只要你说了任何相反的话 |
| [14:36] | that would make you | 你就会变成 |
| [14:37] | the most awful person on this rooftop. | 这屋顶上最可怕的人 |
| [14:40] | So, I’m gonna give you an out. | 我打算让你一吐为快 |
| [14:42] | And how are you gonna do that? | 你打算怎么做 |
| [14:44] | By saying something that is even more awful. | 我会说出更可怕的话 |
| [14:48] | Like what? | 什么话 |
| [14:50] | Sometimes I wish I wasn’t a mom. | 有时候我会希望自己不是一个母亲 |
| [14:53] | Sometimes I want to pack a bag | 有时候我想收拾好行李 |
| [14:55] | and leave in the middle of the night and not come back. | 半夜悄悄离开 不再回来 |
| [15:03] | Robin shouldn’t be with Barney, | 罗宾不应该嫁给巴尼 |
| [15:04] | she should be with me. | 她应该嫁给我 |
| [15:15] | You serious? | 你说真的吗 |
| [15:16] | I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
| [15:17] | I mean, I love being a mom, and… | 我喜欢做母亲 |
| [15:20] | I love Marvin so much. | 我好爱好爱马文 |
| [15:24] | But… | 但是 |
| [15:24] | but do you remember | 你还记得 |
| [15:25] | when I wanted to be an artist? | 我想做艺术家的时候吗 |
| [15:27] | Art was my whole life. | 艺术是我的人生意义 |
| [15:29] | And-and now it’s been months | 而现在我已经好几个月 |
| [15:31] | since I’ve even picked up a brush. | 没有拿起画笔了 |
| [15:33] | I-I spend the whole day taking care of kids at my job, | 我白天在幼儿园的工作就是照顾孩子 |
| [15:36] | and I come home and it’s more of the same. | 然后回到家 还是一样 |
| [15:38] | It just… | 只是 |
| [15:40] | It never lets up, it… | 从来没有休息的时候… |
| [15:43] | It’s just really, really hard, Ted. | 真的真的好累 泰德 |
| [15:48] | Have you talked to Marshall about how you feel? | 你有跟马修讲过你的感受吗 |
| [15:51] | Have you talked to Robin about how you feel? | 你有跟罗宾讲过你的感受吗 |
| [15:55] | Fair enough. | 说得好 |
| [15:57] | I just think we have to accept our lots in life, | 我想我们都必须接受人生的缺憾 |
| [16:00] | and I have to be a mom to a… | 我必须做一位母亲 |
| [16:03] | a beautiful, wonderful– | 做一位漂亮可爱 |
| [16:05] | if slightly constipated– | 有点小便秘的 |
| [16:07] | little boy, and… | 小男孩的母亲 |
| [16:09] | you have to let Robin and Barney get a band. | 你必须让罗宾和巴尼在婚礼上请乐队 |
| [16:15] | All right, let’s see what’s in this dipey. | 好吧 看看尿布里有什么 |
| [16:19] | Nothing. | 什么也没有 |
| [16:21] | Absolutely nothing. | 绝对是什么也没有 |
| [16:25] | Are you finally giving Daddy a smile? | 你终于肯对你老爸笑了吗 |
| [16:30] | Oh, God! | 上帝啊 |
| [16:32] | And, no, it wasn’t confetti. | 不 当时喷的可不是彩条 |
| [16:34] | Oh! Oh, God! | 上帝啊 |
| [16:39] | Please! | 求你了 |
| [16:43] | Holy confetti. | 好多的”彩条”啊 |
| [16:47] | That night, Robin agreed | 那天晚上 罗宾同意 |
| [16:48] | to meet her dad one more time. | 再见她父亲一次 |
| [16:50] | Your Dad has something to say. | 你爸有话要说 |
| [16:56] | I’m sorry for getting married without consulting you. | 抱歉我没问你意见就结婚了 |
| [17:01] | It was wrong of me. | 这是我的错 |
| [17:03] | There. Now, Robin… | 好了 罗宾 |
| [17:04] | I know that no mere apology will fix this. | 我知道只有道歉 是不能解决问题的 |
| [17:08] | And that is why | 所以 |
| [17:10] | I’ve asked Carol for a divorce. | 我已经要求卡罗尔和我离婚 |
| [17:12] | What?! | 什么 |
| [17:13] | She’s heartbroken, understandably. | 她的心都碎了 可以理解 |
| [17:16] | Possibly suicidal. | 可能会自杀 |
| [17:17] | I did not tell him… | 我没有让他… |
| [17:18] | But if that’s the price | 但如果付出这样的代价 |
| [17:19] | for my daughter’s love… | 才能得到我女儿的爱 |
| [17:22] | then I will gladly let Carol pay it. | 我很乐意这个代价让卡罗尔来付 |
| [17:27] | Was that not what you wanted? | 这不是你想要的吗 |
| [17:30] | You want to know what I want? | 你想知道我要什么吗 |
| [17:33] | A normal dad. That’s all. | 一个普通的爸爸 就是这样 |
| [17:35] | I want you to give this blond guy | 我要你同意这个金发男子 |
| [17:37] | permission to marry me. | 娶我为妻 |
| [17:39] | Come to the wedding, give me away, | 来参加我的婚礼 将我交给他 |
| [17:41] | smile in the pictures, and then… | 笑着拍照 然后… |
| [17:44] | dance with me like a normal dad. | 像普通父亲一样 和我跳舞 |
| [17:47] | Is that too much to ask? | 这个要求很过分吗 |
| [17:49] | “Of course not. | 当然不会 |
| [17:50] | Oh, Robin, my darling girl, | 罗宾 我亲爱的女儿 |
| [17:52] | of course I’ll do all stuff. | 我当然会这样做 |
| [17:54] | I love you and I’m proud of you.” | 我爱你 我为你感到骄傲 |
| [17:57] | – He didn’t say that? – No. | -他没这样说吧 -没 |
| [18:00] | Fine. One dance– | 好吧 只跳一支舞 |
| [18:01] | “Cheeseburger in Paradise.” | 舞曲是《天堂的芝士汉堡》 |
| [18:04] | And Carol’s going to sing it. | 必须得由卡罗尔演唱 |
| [18:07] | Well, see you at the wedding. | 我们婚礼见 |
| [18:10] | But it’s kind of amazing. | 但这是非常了不起的事 |
| [18:12] | I mean, he’s never apologized to me in his life. | 他这辈子从没向我道过歉 |
| [18:15] | Barney made it happen. | 巴尼却让他这样做了 |
| [18:18] | He must really love me. | 他肯定是真的很爱我 |
| [18:20] | Well, he’d be crazy not to. | 傻子才会不爱你 |
| [18:24] | I’m really happy for you guys. | 我真的为你们高兴 |
| [18:28] | But I still think you should get a DJ. | 但我依然认为你们该请DJ |
| [18:29] | For God’s sakes, Ted. | 有完没完 泰德 |
| [18:31] | Hear me out. | 听我说 |
| [18:32] | I made a pretty strong case that night, | 那晚我的理由强而有力 |
| [18:34] | but in the end, she didn’t want a DJ. | 但最后 她根本不想请DJ |
| [18:37] | She wanted a band. | 她想要乐队 |
| [18:38] | And guess what happened. | 猜猜结果是什么 |
| [18:40] | That’s right, the band cancelled at the last minute, | 没错 乐队在最终一刻放他们鸽子了 |
| [18:40] | 四个月后 | |
| [18:43] | just like I said they would. | 我早说过他们会这样做 |
| [18:44] | The wedding is in a week, and no bands. | 婚礼一周后举行 却连乐队都没有 |
| [18:47] | When will people realize I always know what’s what? | 大家何时才能意识到 我从不会看走眼 |
| [18:49] | He says to the lesbian he dated for a month. | 那你之前跟女同约会过一个月 怎么说 |
| [18:52] | That’s a fair point. | 说得好 |
| [18:54] | Anyway, you guys wouldn’t, uh, happen to know | 话说回来 你们不会恰好知道 |
| [18:56] | of any good wedding bands | 有什么优秀的婚礼乐队 |
| [18:57] | available at the last minute, would you? | 可以临危受命吧 |
| [19:00] | Ted, do you believe in destiny? | 泰德 你相信命运吗 |
| [19:02] | You really don’t know me, do you? | 看来你真是不认识我啊 |
| [19:04] | We just had brunch with my ex-roommate. | 我们刚和我的前室友吃完早午餐 |
| [19:07] | The bass player? | 那个贝斯手吗 |
| [19:07] | No, she’s not just a bass player. | 不 她不仅仅是贝斯手 |
| [19:09] | She’s a bass player in the best wedding band | 她是大纽约三州最优秀的 |
| [19:11] | in the tri-state area. | 婚礼乐队的贝斯手 |
| [19:12] | They had a gig lined up for this weekend, | 他们本来这周末有场演出 |
| [19:13] | but it just fell through this morning. | 但今早取消了 |
| [19:16] | You, my friend, are gonna save that wedding. | 我的朋友 你将是婚礼的救世主 |
| [19:19] | Do you know any DJs? | 你们有认识什么DJ吗 |
| [19:21] | Dude, come on. | 哥们 拜托 |
| [19:22] | Let it go, bro. Just let it go. | 别纠结了 兄弟 别纠结了 |
| [19:24] | All right, all right, all right. | 好的 好的 |
| [19:25] | Well, I guess, uh… | 我想 |
| [19:26] | Guess it’s a lucky thing I ran into you guys. | 碰到你们真是一件幸运的事 |
| [19:28] | And, kids, “Lucky” doesn’t even begin to describe it. | 孩子们 “幸运”完全不足以形容我有多幸运 |
| [19:38] | Because if Barney and Robin had taken my stupid advice | 因为如果巴尼和罗宾听了我的白痴建议 |
| [19:41] | and hired a DJ… | 请了DJ |
| [19:47] | …I never would have met your mother. | 我就永远不会碰到你们的母亲 |