| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:02] | Kids, early in this story, | 孩子们 你们可能还记得 |
| [00:03] | you may recall me saying something along the lines of… | 我曾在故事开头说过类似这种话 |
| [00:06] | Okay, no more dating. | 好了 再也不谈恋爱了 |
| [00:08] | I am ready to settle down. | 我已经准备好安定下来 |
| [00:10] | And at the time, I probably thought I meant it. | 当时 还真以为自己是发自肺腑的 |
| [00:12] | But, kids, I’ll be honest. | 不过 孩子们 说实话 |
| [00:14] | Being single’s fun. | 单身真是太欢乐了 |
| [00:16] | As a young unattached man in New York City, | 做为一名纽约的年轻单身汉 |
| [00:18] | I had a great time. | 我过得精彩极了 |
| [00:20] | A great time. | 真心精彩啊 |
| [00:23] | What was I saying? | 说到哪了 |
| [00:24] | Oh, yeah. | 对哦 |
| [00:25] | I had such a great time that it took someone very special | 我过得精彩极了 直到出现一个很特别的人 |
| [00:28] | to make me want to settle down. | 才让我有了安定下来的想法 |
| [00:30] | And that someone… | 而那个特别的人 |
| [00:32] | was Jeanette. | 就是珍妮特 |
| [00:34] | What made Jeanette so special? Well… | 珍妮特特别在哪里 |
| [00:37] | That was a foul! | 那是犯规啊 |
| [00:40] | Jeanette was the last girl I dated | 珍妮特是我遇见你们妈妈之前 |
| [00:42] | before I met your mother. | 最后一个女友 |
| [00:43] | The girl who finally got me to say… | 那女孩最终让我决定 |
| [00:46] | >No more dating. | 不再恋爱了 |
| [00:48] | I’m ready to settle down. | 我准备好安定下来了 |
| [00:50] | …and really mean it. | 发自肺腑的 |
| [01:04] | 老爸老妈浪漫史 | |
| [01:07] | But let’s back up a little bit. | 不过时间先往前倒一点 |
| [01:08] | She broke your TV with a beer bottle? | 她拿酒瓶砸坏了你的电视机 |
| [01:11] | In her defense, she was aiming for the window. | 拿她的话说 她本想砸窗户的 |
| [01:13] | Dude, you gotta get rid of this girl. | 老兄 你得甩了这女的 |
| [01:15] | Agreed. Cray-cray gotta go bye-bye | 同意 你得在这疯妹妹 |
| [01:17] | before you get stab-stabbed. | 拿刀刀捅你前 跟她说拜拜 |
| [01:19] | Oh, really? | 是吗 |
| [01:20] | And are you guys saying this | 你们这么说 |
| [01:21] | because you don’t want me to be with Jeanette, | 是不希望我和珍妮特在一起 |
| [01:23] | or because you want me to stay single | 还是不希望我恢复单身 |
| [01:25] | so you guys can keep your clubhouse? | 好让你们继续塞东西过来啊 |
| [01:27] | J’accuse! | 我控诉[法语] |
| [01:28] | I had a point, and they knew it. | 我不是无的放矢 他们也心知肚明 |
| [01:30] | You see, in early 2013, | 2013年初 |
| [01:32] | I was the only single guy in the group. | 那时就我一人还单着 |
| [01:35] | Which meant whenever Marshall or Barney bought something | 这就意味着只要马修和巴尼买了 |
| [01:37] | they weren’t allowed to keep in their apartments… | 伴侣不准他们放家里的东西… |
| [02:08] | You know what, Ted? That reminds me. | 话说 泰德 这让我想起来 |
| [02:10] | I just bought this antique Swiss clock, | 我刚买了个瑞士古董钟 |
| [02:13] | but Robin won’t let us put it in the apartment, | 不过罗宾不让放家里 |
| [02:14] | so I was gonna leave it at your place. | 于是我就打算放你这了 |
| [02:16] | Only problem? It’s broken. | 不过有个问题是 它坏了 |
| [02:18] | So I was just gonna sit here and try to fix it | 所以我会坐这 试着修好它 |
| [02:21] | while maybe you tell us what you and Jeanette did last night? | 你也可以顺便说昨晚和珍妮特做了什么 |
| [02:24] | Okay. Well, uh, Jeanette is a big Marilyn Monroe fan. | 好吧 珍妮特是玛丽莲・梦露的脑残粉 |
| [02:28] | There you go! Now it’s working! | 可以了[听到了吧] 能叫唤了 |
| [02:28] | 布谷鸟声也可以形容别人白痴 疯子 | |
| [02:30] | Sorry. Sorry. Go on. Go on. She’s a Marilyn Monroe fan | 抱歉 继续说 她是玛丽莲・梦露的粉丝 |
| [02:33] | so I guess you watched one of her movies? | 我猜你俩一起看了她的电影吗 |
| [02:35] | Uh, No, we had a seance. | 没有 我们召唤了她的亡灵 |
| [02:38] | Look at that! Good as new. | 瞧[听他说的] 跟新的一样 |
| [02:41] | Anyway, were you able to contact Marilyn | 然后呢 你们跟异度空间的玛丽莲 |
| [02:43] | in the spirit world? | 通上话了吗 |
| [02:45] | No. We talked to her cat. | 没 我们跟她的猫通上话了 |
| [02:50] | Screw loose! That’s the problem. | 螺丝松了[脑子坏了] 问题找到了 |
| [02:55] | Looks like somebody’s hungry. | 貌似有人肚子饿了 |
| [02:56] | I’m gonna get his food ready. | 我去给他弄吃的 |
| [02:57] | Robin, can you grab him? | 罗宾 你能把他抱起来吗 |
| [03:00] | Can I? Try and stop me! | 我能吗 真是求之不得啊 |
| [03:03] | Now, kids, what Lily didn’t realize– | 孩子们 莉莉没有意识到 |
| [03:05] | what none of us realized, in fact– | 其实我们都没意识到 |
| [03:07] | was that in the eight months since your cousin Marvin was born, | 你们的堂兄马文出生了八个月之久 |
| [03:10] | Robin had never once held him. | 罗宾还一次都没抱过他呢 |
| [03:12] | The truth was, the thought of holding him terrified her, | 事实上 她想到抱他就怕 |
| [03:15] | so she had always avoided it, ever so discreetly. | 因此她一直在不着痕迹地回避 |
| [03:18] | – Can you hold… – Oh, shoot! Look at that! | -你能抱着… -该死 瞧啊 |
| [03:20] | Oh, geez. | 天哪 |
| [03:23] | I got him. | 我来抱 |
| [03:24] | Come here, you little munchkin. | 来啊 小乖乖 |
| [03:25] | Aw, man… | 老兄 |
| [03:27] | Oh, well, I call next. | 那下次我来 |
| [03:29] | Well, I should go. It’s time for Jeanette’s… something. | 我该走了 珍妮特的非常时间到了 |
| [03:33] | Time for Jeanette’s what, Ted? | 珍妮特的什么非常时间 泰德 |
| [03:35] | Uh, we’re taking her dog to an exorcist. | 我们要带她的狗狗去驱魔人那 |
| [03:40] | Wow, Ted, that sounds… | 泰德 那听起来… |
| [03:48] | Crap, it’s really broken now. | 该死[真扯淡] 这回是真坏了 |
| [03:49] | Okay, fine. I admit it. She’s crazy. | 好吧 好吧 我承认 她疯疯癫癫的 |
| [03:53] | Obviously. | 这明摆着的 |
| [03:54] | But I’m not in this for the long haul. | 但我又不是要跟她过一辈子 |
| [03:55] | It’s just, you know, it’s just fun. | 现在只是好玩而已 |
| [03:57] | Of course it’s fun, at first. | 一开始的确好玩 |
| [04:00] | But then when she starts calling out the name of her | 不过在翻云覆雨时 她开始喊她 |
| [04:02] | high school science teacher in the throes of passion, | 高中理科老师的名字时 |
| [04:05] | it’s really fun. | 就更好玩了 |
| [04:06] | But then when she starts bringing knives into bed | 然后她把刀带到床上 |
| [04:10] | and making you fear for your safety? | 害你为自身安全担惊受怕是 |
| [04:13] | It’s really, really fun. | 那更是好玩到不行啊 |
| [04:14] | But then when she starts unbuttoning your pants | 再后来她逼你在高速上蒙着眼睛开车时 |
| [04:18] | while you’re being forced to drive blindfolded | 还一边要解开你的裤子 |
| [04:21] | down the freeway with a gun pointed at your… | 并拿枪指着你的… |
| [04:27] | I’m sorry, what were we talking about? | 不好意思 我们在聊什么来着 |
| [04:28] | Jeanette. | 珍妮特 |
| [04:29] | Oh, right. That girl’s crazy. | 对哦 那女孩是个疯子 |
| [04:31] | You gotta break up with her. | 你得跟她分手 |
| [04:32] | I know. I know. You’re right. I-I have to break up with her. | 我知道 你们是对的 我应该跟她分手 |
| [04:36] | I should do it in a public place, though, | 不过我得在公共场合分手 |
| [04:37] | so she doesn’t flip out. | 以免她失控 |
| [04:39] | So the next night, I met her in a public place | 于是第二天晚上 我和她约在公共场所 |
| [04:41] | so she wouldn’t flip out. | 以免她失控 |
| [04:42] | I will kill you, ref! | 我要杀了你 裁判 |
| [04:44] | I will kill you in front of all these people! | 我要当着这么多人面把你碎尸万段 |
| [04:46] | Oh, boy. | 老天啊 |
| [04:47] | What, you think I won’t just ’cause I’m in a public place?! | 怎么 你以为我在这么多人面前就不敢吗 |
| [04:49] | I’ll go to jail for the rest of my life if I have to! | 老娘豁出去了 下半辈子坐牢也愿意 |
| [04:55] | Listen, before the game starts, I think we need to talk. | 比赛开始前 我想跟你谈谈 |
| [04:58] | I can’t believe Ted’s dead. | 真不敢相信泰德死了 |
| [05:00] | I know. | 就是啊 |
| [05:02] | What a way to go. | 死得真惨啊 |
| [05:03] | Killed by a bazooka. | 被火箭筒给爆了 |
| [05:04] | All right, all right, so I’m not on my game today. | 行了行了 我心情不好打得差嘛 |
| [05:06] | I did just break up with someone last night. | 我昨晚刚跟人分手嘛 |
| [05:09] | Anyway… | 总之 |
| [05:10] | I gotta hop out for a bit. | 我出去溜达一会 |
| [05:12] | You guys stay here. | 你们待在这 |
| [05:13] | Oh, and, um, if Jeanette comes by, | 如果珍妮特来了 |
| [05:16] | do not let her into the apartment. | 千万别让她进来 |
| [05:18] | Don’t let her in. Got it. | 别让她进来 收到 |
| [05:20] | Guys, this is serious. This girl is like bedbugs. | 伙计们 我是认真的 这女的就跟臭虫一样 |
| [05:22] | Once she’s in the apartment, there’s no getting her out. | 一旦进来了 赶都赶不走啊 |
| [05:26] | Ted, buddy, | 泰德老兄 |
| [05:29] | how long have we been dealing with | 我们一起合力对付 |
| [05:30] | Barney’s insane girlfriends? Years. | 巴尼的疯女友们多少年了 好多年了吧 |
| [05:33] | Nigh on a decade! | 历时近十年 |
| [05:35] | I had to testify in five competency hearings. | 我都五度出席听证会 指证被告精神失常 |
| [05:38] | I think we can handle Jeanette. | 我认为我们对付珍妮特绰绰有余 |
| [05:41] | Okay, okay. | 好吧 好吧 |
| [05:43] | See you soon. | 回见 |
| [05:46] | That kid. Am I right? | 嫩着呢 是吧 |
| [05:50] | Now look who forgot his keys. | 肯定是忘了带钥匙了 |
| [05:55] | What is it? | 是谁 |
| [06:01] | Meanwhile, Lily and Robin were out getting lunch, | 与此同时 莉莉和罗宾去外面吃午饭 |
| [06:04] | when disaster struck. | 一场灾难降临了 |
| [06:05] | Oh, God, I left his binky on that bus! | 天啊 我把他的奶嘴落公车上了 |
| [06:07] | Wait. Don’t you have other binkies? | 等等 你没有其他奶嘴了吗 |
| [06:09] | That one’s his favorite! He’ll know the difference! | 那是他最爱的奶嘴 他分辨得出来 |
| [06:11] | I’m not gonna let this be the reason | 我不会让他因为这事 |
| [06:13] | he resents me later in life! | 而记恨我一辈子 |
| [06:14] | If he starts crying, just pick him up! | 他一哭 就把他抱起来 |
| [06:18] | What? Uh, uh… | 什么 |
| [06:22] | Okay, okay. Yeah, there, there, there. Okay. | 好好 不哭 不哭 乖乖 |
| [06:27] | Hey, I’m back. Did I miss anything? | 我回来了 有发生什么事吗 |
| [06:29] | Nope. | 没有 |
| [06:30] | Did Jeanette come by? | 珍妮特来过吗 |
| [06:32] | Jeanette? I know lots of Jeanettes. | 哪个珍妮特 我认识好多珍妮特 |
| [06:34] | Guys! | 伙计们 |
| [06:36] | Okay, she came by because she forgot her book. | 好吧 她来过 她把书落这了 |
| [06:39] | So we let her go up in your room and get it. | 于是我们让她进你房间拿了 |
| [06:42] | And then? | 然后呢 |
| [06:44] | And then what? | 然后什么 |
| [06:45] | And then she left? | 然后她走了吗 |
| [06:48] | I think she left. | 我想她走了吧 |
| [06:53] | Are you sure she left? | 你确定她走了吗 |
| [06:56] | I am… | 我… |
| [06:58] | 90% sure… that she left. | 90%确信她走了 |
| [07:03] | 80% 80 percent. | |
| [07:05] | Actually, I’m gonna change my answer. | 事实上 我要重新回答这个问题 |
| [07:07] | I am now starting to think she never left, | 我现在觉得她没走 |
| [07:09] | and instead she barricaded herself in your room. | 而且她还把自己关在你的房间了 |
| [07:13] | And I’m never coming out! | 我永远都不会出来的 |
| [07:16] | A hundred percent. | 百分百确定了 |
| [07:22] | I cannot believe you guys! | 你们俩不是吧 |
| [07:24] | Well, maybe if you had given us a warning that she was crazy! | 谁让你事先没提醒过我们她是疯妹子 |
| [07:27] | Dude, it’s okay. | 兄弟 没事啦 |
| [07:29] | She can’t stay in there forever. | 她不可能永远待在里面的 |
| [07:31] | She’ll have to come out to eat and drink | 她总得出来吃喝啊 |
| [07:33] | and go to the bathroom, right? | 或者上厕所 对吧 |
| [07:36] | Now, a few months earlier, | 几个月以前 |
| [07:37] | the East Coast had been hit by a bad storm, | 东海岸曾遭到暴风雨袭击 |
| [07:40] | and some intelligent, forward-thinking New Yorkers | 于是某些聪明过人 富有远见的纽约人 |
| [07:42] | took it as a wake-up call, | 视其为醒世警钟 |
| [07:44] | making sure to stock their bedrooms | 确保自己卧室里储存了 |
| [07:45] | with enough food and water to last months, | 足够维持好几个月的食物和饮用水 |
| [07:48] | not to mention a portable waste management system. | 当然还有一个便携式排泄物处理装置 |
| [07:51] | It was really the smart thing to do. | 这些措施实在是聪明之举 |
| [07:53] | You dumbass! | 你个大呆瓜 |
| [07:54] | Really, Ted. How could you be so unbelievably stupid? | 真的 泰德 你怎么能笨到如此不可救药呢 |
| [07:58] | No, no, you guys are the ones | 才怪 是你们笨蛋把 |
| [08:00] | who invited a vampire into my apartment! | 那个吸血魔女请到我卧室的 |
| [08:02] | This is your fault! | 这都是你们的错 |
| [08:03] | And P.S., if this disaster had been a superstorm | 随带一提 如果今天我们遇到是超强暴风雨 |
| [08:06] | instead of a hot lunatic, | 而不是什么性感女魔头 |
| [08:08] | you’d all be begging to eat my freeze-dried protein paste | 你们俩绝对会苦苦哀求 要我给冷冻蛋白酱吃 |
| [08:10] | and crap in my biohazard bucket. Just sayin’. | 要我给生化垃圾桶排便 |
| [08:13] | I got it. | 我找到了 |
| [08:14] | It was on the floor of the bus. | 落在公车的地板上了 |
| [08:17] | I should probably throw it out. | 我应该直接丢掉算了 |
| [08:20] | Did he give you any problems? | 他没出什么问题吧 |
| [08:22] | He cried a little, but then he stopped. | 小小哭了一下 然后就没事了 |
| [08:24] | Oh, good. Anything else happen? | 太好了 没出其他什么事吧 |
| [08:28] | Nope. | 没有 |
| [08:29] | That… is… it. | 仅此而已 |
| [08:31] | 4年后 | |
| [08:34] | All gone! | 喝光了 |
| [08:35] | We have to do this more often. | 我们真该经常这样 |
| [08:36] | Oh, we totally do. | 完全同意 |
| [08:38] | I can’t believe Marvin’s in kindergarten. | 真不敢相信马文都读幼儿园了 |
| [08:40] | He’s growing up so fast. | 他长得可真快啊 |
| [08:44] | Can I confess something to you? | 我可以向你坦白一件事吗 |
| [08:46] | Remember the day you left Marvin’s binky on the bus | 还记得你把马文的奶嘴忘在巴士上 |
| [08:49] | – and you left me alone with him? – Yeah. | -然后让我独自照顾马文的那次吗 -记得 |
| [08:51] | Well, I didn’t tell you this at the time, but… | 我当时没敢把这事告诉你 不过… |
| [08:56] | Okay, okay. Yeah, there, there, there. | 好了好了 不哭不哭 |
| [09:00] | Okay, shh, shh. | 乖乖 |
| [09:02] | Oh, no, it looks like somebody’s not happy. | 看来某人很不开心啊 |
| [09:05] | No kidding. I’m miserable. | 真的 我超不爽的 |
| [09:06] | Listen to this thing. | 他怎么能哭成这样 |
| [09:08] | He probably just wants to be held. | 他大概只是想要人抱抱吧 |
| [09:11] | I think you’re right. | 你说得对 |
| [09:13] | – Can you do it? – All right. | -你能抱抱他吗 -当然 |
| [09:16] | Come here, handsome. | 来让我抱抱 小帅哥 |
| [09:18] | Oh. Yeah. Yes. | 乖乖 |
| [09:22] | I let a stranger pick up Marvin. I’m sorry. | 我让一个陌生人抱了马文 对不起 |
| [09:25] | It’s just, I hadn’t actually picked him up at that point, | 我当时没有亲自抱他 |
| [09:27] | and I was scared, so… | 我吓坏了 所以… |
| [09:28] | You know what? It was four years ago. | 算了吧 都四年以前的事了 |
| [09:31] | He’s obviously fine. Don’t even worry about it. | 他现在茁壮成长 所以别担心这个了 |
| [09:34] | – Really? – Yeah. | -真的吗 -真的 |
| [09:36] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [09:38] | I mean, as long as there’s not more to that story. | 反正除此之外 没别的事发生了吧 |
| [09:41] | Nope. | 没有 |
| [09:42] | That… is… it. | 仅此而已 |
| [09:47] | Jeanette, you have to leave! | 珍妮特 你得离开 |
| [09:49] | In a minute! I still haven’t found that book! | 马上 我还没找到我的书呢 |
| [09:54] | Listen, Jeanette, I didn’t want to do this, | 听着 珍妮特 我不想做到这个份上 |
| [09:55] | but I called the police. They’re on their way. | 但我已经报警了 警察马上就到 |
| [09:58] | All units, all units. | 各小组注意 各小组注意 |
| [09:59] | Possible 10-90 in progress at 521 West 82nd, apartment 15. | 521号西街82幢15户需要出警 |
| [10:04] | Where’s that coming from? | 这声音是从哪儿来的 |
| [10:05] | – Is that you, Dolores? – Jeanette? | -是你吗 德罗丽斯 -珍妮特 |
| [10:07] | Hey, girl. How you been? | 妹子 最近过得如何啊 |
| [10:09] | Oh, you know, I’m just doing me. | 还是原来的老样子啦 |
| [10:12] | Anyway, I’ll check out that 10-90. | 总之 我会去查看那个地址的 |
| [10:14] | Okay, but remember… | 好的 不过要记住… |
| [10:15] | I know, no excessive force. | 我知道 不要过度使用暴力 |
| [10:18] | Last thing I need is another suspension, am I right? | 我不想要再被停职查看了 对吧 |
| [10:21] | And that, kids, was how I found out | 孩子们 那个时候我才发现 |
| [10:24] | what Jeanette did for a living. | 珍妮特的职业原来是警察 |
| [10:24] | 珍妮特・彼得森中尉 | |
| [10:26] | Wait a second. | 等一下 |
| [10:28] | Is she a cop?! | 她是条子吗 |
| [10:30] | I think she’s a cop! | 我看她是条子哦 |
| [10:30] | Did you know she was a cop?! | 你早就知道她是条子了 |
| [10:31] | I didn’t know she was a cop! | 我根本不知道她是个条子[《无间行者》的哏] |
| [10:34] | Ted, I’m sorry I have to say this– | 泰德 抱歉地通知你 |
| [10:37] | Jeanette lives here now. This is her place. | 这里现在是珍妮特的家了 是她的地盘 |
| [10:39] | – You’re gonna have to leave. – What? | -你赶快离开吧 -什么 |
| [10:41] | Why don’t you have to leave? | 那你们怎么不离开呢 |
| [10:42] | They can stay. | 他们可以留下来 |
| [10:44] | – Thank you, Officer Jeanette. – Thank you, Officer Jeanette. | -谢了 珍妮特警官 -谢了 珍妮特警官 |
| [10:46] | 12年后 | |
| [10:49] | All gone. | 又喝完了 |
| [10:50] | We need to do this more often. | 我们真该经常这样 |
| [10:51] | We totally do. I can’t believe marvin’s in middle school. | 完全同意 真不敢相信马文已经上初中了 |
| [10:54] | Oh, he’s growing up so fast. | 他长得可真快啊 |
| [10:57] | Can I confess something to you? | 我可以向你坦白一件事吗 |
| [10:59] | Remember that day you left Marvin’s binky on the bus | 还记得你把马文的奶嘴忘在巴士上 |
| [11:01] | and I let that old lady pick him up? | 然后我让个陌生老太太抱他的事吗 |
| [11:03] | I seem to recall that was the entire story. | 我记得事情应该就这么简单吧 |
| [11:06] | There’s a little bit more. | 其实我还剩一点没说完 |
| [11:08] | There, there, little one. | 不哭不哭 小乖乖 |
| [11:10] | Let’s put you back in your strolly-poo, | 我把你放回你的小车车 |
| [11:13] | so you can drift off to dreamy-dreamy land. | 这样你就能慢慢飘向梦梦园 |
| [11:18] | Oh, thank you so much. | 真是太谢谢你了 |
| [11:20] | Yeah, this is my first time alone with him, | 这是我第一次和他单独在一起 |
| [11:22] | and, you know, um, I have this weird feeling that I’m gonna, | 我一直忐忑不安 觉得我会 |
| [11:24] | I don’t know, like, drop him or injure him in some way, | 我会把他掉地下 或是害他受伤 |
| [11:27] | which is completely insane. | 我可真是杞人忧天 |
| [11:29] | – But… – Oh, heavens. | -不过 -天啊 |
| [11:30] | Oh, my God! | 妈呀 |
| [11:31] | Oh, my God. | 我的天呀 |
| [11:32] | I know, I’m so sorry. | 我真的真的很抱歉 |
| [11:34] | Well, you know what? | 算了 |
| [11:35] | That was what, 12 years ago? | 那已经是12年前的事了 |
| [11:38] | Don’t even worry about it. | 别为这事担心了 |
| [11:39] | – Really? – Yeah. | -真的吗 -真的 |
| [11:40] | Oh, thank you. | 谢谢你 |
| [11:42] | Just promise me there’s no more to that story. | 答应我 除此之外没其他事情发生了吧 |
| [11:46] | Nope, that is it. | 没有 仅此而已 |
| [11:52] | Are you sure you want to do this? | 你真的要这么做吗 |
| [11:53] | The girl’s a cop. | 那姑娘可是警察呢 |
| [11:54] | Yeah, this seems like a really bad idea. | 真的 这主意看起来很不妙 |
| [11:59] | I don’t care. | 我不管了 |
| [12:00] | I am going into that bedroom | 我要冲进我的卧室 |
| [12:02] | because this is my home | 因为这里是我家 |
| [12:04] | and I have to defend it. | 我必须拼死保卫它 |
| [12:06] | But mostly because | 但最主要的原因是 |
| [12:08] | my allergy medication is in there! | 人家的抗过敏药都放在里面呢 |
| [12:12] | All right, just be careful, okay? | 好吧 总之一切小心 好吗 |
| [12:13] | This girl is really crazy. | 那个姑娘真是个疯妹子 |
| [12:15] | Yeah, why can’t she just accept | 对啊 她怎么就不能接受 |
| [12:17] | the fact that you guys broke up? | 你们分手的事实呢 |
| [12:18] | I know, I know, why can’t she just accept that? | 我也觉得 她怎么就不能好好接受呢 |
| [12:21] | Why, it’s, like, why? | 为什么 到底是为什么啊 |
| [12:26] | It might be because we didn’t actually break up. | 也许是因为我们其实还没有分手吧 |
| [12:30] | Aw, man. Jeanette, come on, that’s vintage vinyl. | 拜托 珍妮特 那可是我的珍藏黑胶唱片啊 |
| [12:37] | Ted, did you or didn’t you break up | 泰德 昨天晚上你到底有没有 |
| [12:40] | with Jeanette last night? | 和珍妮特分手 |
| [12:42] | I don’t know, it’s kind of confusing. | 我不知道 状况有点混乱 |
| [12:45] | I think we need to talk. | 我们需要谈一谈 |
| [12:47] | Oh, oh, okay. | 哦 好呀 |
| [12:49] | I see where this is going. | 我知道你要说什么了 |
| [12:52] | You’re in love with Lily. | 你爱上了莉莉是吧 |
| [12:53] | That’s it, isn’t it? | 你是要说这个吧 对不对 |
| [12:54] | What? No, I… | 什么 不 我 |
| [12:56] | Like I should be surprised with her fancy medical degree | 想到她光鲜的医学文凭和性感的南方口音 |
| [12:59] | and her sexy Southern drawl. | 我早就该料到了 |
| [13:01] | What? She’s not… | 什么 她不是… |
| [13:02] | Don’t talk to me, don’t look at me. | 别跟我说话 别看我 |
| [13:04] | I hate you and I never want to see you again! | 我恨你 我再也不要见到你了 |
| [13:09] | And then things got crazy | 接下来的事一发不可收拾 |
| [13:10] | and we got thrown out of the Barclays Center. | 我们被赶出了巴克莱中心 |
| [13:13] | I don’t know, it felt pretty breakup-y. | 我觉得这就算是分手了吧 |
| [13:17] | Anyway, | 总之 |
| [13:18] | we parted on pretty bad terms, so… | 当时我们不欢而散 所以… |
| [13:20] | I kind of thought maybe I could… | 我以为也许我可以借此… |
| [13:23] | Never contact her again and hope she’d take the hint | 再不和她联系 希望她能意识到这点 |
| [13:25] | and just leave you alone? | 从此再也不来打扰你吗 |
| [13:26] | Barney, give me some credit. | 巴尼 别把我想得这么烂 |
| [13:28] | – Was that the plan? – Yes. | -那这是你的计划吗 -正是 |
| [13:30] | 14年后 | |
| [13:32] | – All gone. – We need to do this more often. | -喝完了 -我们真该经常这样 |
| [13:34] | We totally do. | 完全同意 |
| [13:35] | I can’t believe Marvin’s in high school. | 真不敢相信马文都读高中了 |
| [13:36] | He’s growing up so fast. | 他长得可真快啊 |
| [13:37] | – Can I confess something to you? – Oh, no. What? | -我可以向你坦白一件事吗 -又来了 什么事 |
| [13:39] | What happened? | 到底发生了什么事 |
| [13:40] | Tell me what you did to my son. | 告诉我你把我儿子到底怎么了 |
| [13:44] | This is not going well at all. | 真是太不顺利了 |
| [13:46] | Oh, honey, you are shaking. | 亲爱的 你浑身发抖 |
| [13:48] | Let’s get you out of the cold. | 咱们找个暖和的地方 |
| [13:50] | What’s open near here? | 这附近有什么店吗 |
| [13:55] | You took my infant child to a strip club? | 你带着我家婴儿去脱衣舞俱乐部了 |
| [13:58] | It was just topless. | 只是露两点而已 |
| [14:00] | He saw yours all the time anyway. | 反正他在家也老看你的啊 |
| [14:02] | Okay, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that, | 好了 对不起 我不该带他去那里 |
| [14:04] | but that is all there is. | 但全部经过就是这样 |
| [14:06] | Okay, there is no more to the story. | 真的没有什么要补充的了 |
| [14:07] | I have now told you everything. | 我把全部经过都告诉你了 |
| [14:09] | 16年后 | |
| [14:11] | All gone. | 喝光了 |
| [14:11] | We need to do this more often. | 我们真该经常这样 |
| [14:13] | We totally do. I can’t believe Marvin’s driving. | 完全同意 真不敢相信马文已经会开车了 |
| [14:15] | He’s growing up so fast. | 他长得可真快啊 |
| [14:17] | – Okay, there’s one other thing. – What? | -好吧 还有一件事 -又怎么了 |
| [14:19] | Well, I have to go use the ladies’ room. | 我得去下洗手间 |
| [14:21] | Can you watch him for me? | 你能帮我照看他一下吗 |
| [14:22] | Of course. | 当然没问题 |
| [14:25] | I could just eat you up. | 真想把你一口吞下去 |
| [14:27] | You left him with a complete stranger? | 你把他交给一个完全陌生的人 |
| [14:30] | He could’ve been… | 他可能被… |
| [14:32] | Robin, how could you? | 罗宾 你怎么能这样 |
| [14:33] | Lily, please, okay, it was 16 years ago. | 莉莉 拜托 这是16年前的事了 |
| [14:36] | He’s fine. | 他没事 |
| [14:38] | You’re right. | 你说的对 |
| [14:39] | It’s fine. | 没事 |
| [14:41] | God, it feels so good to have gotten this off my chest. | 老天 能彻底坦白的感觉真是太好了 |
| [14:45] | Finally it is all on the table. | 我终于鼓足勇气说出一切 |
| [14:47] | All secrets are exposed | 所有秘密都坦白了 |
| [14:48] | and there is nothing left to be revealed. | 再也没有好隐瞒的了 |
| [14:51] | 17年后 | |
| [14:52] | – All gone. We need to do this more… | -又喝光了 -我们真该经常… |
| [14:54] | – There’s more to the story. – Damn it, Robin. | -其实我还没说完 -见鬼 罗宾 |
| [14:55] | What could you possibly have left out? | 你到底还有什么没告诉我 |
| [14:58] | It’s just there’s, um, | 只是有 |
| [15:00] | one little detail that I may have slightly altered. | 一个小细节 我稍微修改了一下 |
| [15:05] | If he starts crying, just pick him up. | 如果他哭 就把他抱起来 |
| [15:12] | Yeah, there, there. | 乖乖 别哭 |
| [15:14] | Come on, buddy, shh. | 配合点 小家伙 |
| [15:16] | Looks like somebody’s unhappy. | 看来有人不开心啊 |
| [15:17] | No kidding, I’m miserable. | 真的 我超不爽的 |
| [15:19] | Listen to this thing. | 他怎么能哭成这样 |
| [15:20] | Maybe he needs to be held. | 他大概只是想要人抱抱吧 |
| [15:22] | I think you’re right. | 你说得对 |
| [15:25] | Can you do it? | 你能抱抱他吗 |
| [15:26] | Sure. | 当然 |
| [15:28] | Come here, handsome. | 过来 小帅哥 |
| [15:28] | Come here, come here, you handsome devil, you. | 过来过来 你这个帅气的小家伙 |
| [15:30] | You’re such a beautiful… | 你长得真漂亮啊 |
| [15:31] | Aw, you’re such a cool dude. | 真是个酷小伙 |
| [15:33] | Oh, look at you, oh. | 瞧你 |
| [15:35] | All right, there, there, little one, there, there. | 好了 乖了不哭 小家伙 乖乖 |
| [15:37] | Let me put you back in your strolly-poo | 我把你放回你的小车车 |
| [15:40] | so you can drift off to dreamy-dreamy land. | 这样你就能慢慢飘向梦梦园 |
| [15:43] | Okay? All right. | 好吗 好了 |
| [15:45] | Thank you so much. | 太感谢了 |
| [15:46] | Hey, don’t worry about it. | 别客气 |
| [15:47] | It’s my first time alone with him, | 这是我第一次单独和他在一起 |
| [15:48] | and I just have this weird feeling | 我一直忐忑不安 |
| [15:49] | I’m gonna drop him or injure him in some way. | 觉得我会把他掉地下 或是害他受伤 |
| [15:52] | I know it’s completely insane… | 我可真是杞人忧天 |
| [15:53] | Oh, heavens, oh, watch it, no! | 我的天 小心 不好 |
| [15:54] | No! | 不 |
| [15:57] | This is not going well at all. | 真是太不顺利了 |
| [16:01] | Oh, hon, you’re shaking. | 亲爱的 你浑身发抖 |
| [16:03] | Let’s get out of the cold. | 咱们找个暖和的地方 |
| [16:04] | Is there anything open near here? | 这附近有什么店吗 |
| [16:10] | Hey, I need to go to the ladies’ room– | 我得去下洗手间 |
| [16:11] | can you watch him for me? | 你能帮我照看他一下吗 |
| [16:12] | Of course. I could just eat you up. | 当然没问题 真想把你一口吞下去 |
| [16:14] | Look at you, yum, yum, yum, yum. | 瞧你 怎么这样可耐 好可耐 |
| [16:18] | You waited 17 years to tell me | 你隐瞒了17年才告诉我 |
| [16:21] | that you met the greatest boxer of all time? | 你曾经碰到了史上最伟大的拳击手 |
| [16:24] | My son was rocked to sleep by Senator Mike Tyson? | 我的儿子曾经被参议员迈克・泰森哄睡着 |
| [16:29] | – I wanted to tell you, believe me. – How could you…? | -我想告诉你的 相信我 -你怎么能这样 |
| [16:31] | Okay, this is the right thing to do. | 正确的做法是 |
| [16:33] | You got to go up there and break up with her for real. | 你上楼去 真正和她分手 |
| [16:36] | And don’t worry, if anything happens, | 别担心 如果有事 |
| [16:37] | just scream, we’ll come rescue you. | 尖叫就行 我们会去救你的 |
| [16:40] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [16:52] | 5分钟后 | |
| [17:00] | Did you guys not hear me screaming up there? | 你们没听到我在上面尖叫吗 |
| [17:03] | Aw, I feel so awful. | 我觉得好内疚 |
| [17:04] | We went to get subs. | 我们去买赛百味三明治了 |
| [17:06] | We got you one though. | 不过给你也买了一个 |
| [17:08] | We didn’t get you one. | 我们没有给你买 |
| [17:10] | So, Jeanette’s squatting in your room? | 这么说你的房间被珍妮特霸占了 |
| [17:12] | What are you guys doing here? | 你们怎么来了 |
| [17:13] | We heard you screaming from three blocks away. | 我们在三条街外听到你尖叫 |
| [17:16] | Why is she in there? | 她为什么在房间里 |
| [17:17] | Lily, there is no reason why. | 莉莉 没有什么”为什么” |
| [17:19] | That’s like asking why is the earth round? | 这就像问地球为什么是圆的 |
| [17:21] | Why does the sun come up in the morning? | 为什么早上会出太阳 |
| [17:23] | What do I do for a living? | 我为什么要工作 |
| [17:25] | There are some questions we’re not meant to know the answer to. | 有些问题就是注定不该知道答案的 |
| [17:27] | Crazy girls are crazy because they’re crazy. | 疯妹子是疯子 是因为她们本来就疯 |
| [17:31] | I-I don’t think it’s quite that simple. | 我不认为这么简单 |
| [17:33] | I was talking to a friend of mine about Ted and Jeanette. | 我跟一个朋友说了泰德和珍妮特的事 |
| [17:36] | Oh, great, what friend is this? | 有没搞错 什么朋友 |
| [17:39] | Uh, just this wise old lady that I know. | 我认识的一个充满智慧的老太太 |
| [17:42] | Here’s the thing about crazy. | 疯狂其实是因为 |
| [17:44] | When a guy sends mixed signals to a girl, | 当一个男的发送模棱两可的信号给妹子时 |
| [17:46] | it takes a toll on her psychological well-being. | 会给她的心理健康造成伤害 |
| [17:49] | You want to know why a girl acts crazy, | 想知道妹子为什么会发疯 |
| [17:51] | look at the guy she’s dating. | 瞧她的男朋友就明白了 |
| [17:52] | Then you really see some crazy. | 你会看到什么叫真正的疯狂 |
| [17:54] | Trust me. | 相信我 |
| [17:58] | Are you Mike Tyson? | 你是迈克・泰森吗 |
| [18:00] | Now, hold on. | 慢着 |
| [18:01] | I’ve dated tons of crazy girls in my life, | 我这辈子约会过数不清的疯妹子 |
| [18:03] | and not once have I ever treated them with anything other than… | 我每一次对待她们的方式是… |
| [18:08] | Oh, right, I’m a monster. | 对 我禽兽不如 |
| [18:10] | Maybe the old lady with the face tattoo is right. | 也许脸上有纹身的老太太是对的 |
| [18:13] | Maybe the reason Jeanette’s acting this way | 也许珍妮特会这样的原因 |
| [18:16] | is Ted. | 就是泰德 |
| [18:17] | Me? How is this my fault? | 我 怎么成了我的错了 |
| [18:19] | Yeah, come on, this is Ted we’re talking about. | 就是 这可是泰德 |
| [18:21] | I’m sure he didn’t do anything to lead her on | 我相信他没有做什么事误导她 |
| [18:23] | or send mixed signals, right, Ted? | 或是发送模棱两可的信号 对吧 泰德 |
| [18:27] | Don’t talk to me, don’t look at me. | 别跟我说话 别看我 |
| [18:29] | I hate you and I never want to see you again! | 我恨你 我再也不想看到你了 |
| [18:37] | And we got thrown out of the Barclays Center. | 然后我们被赶出了巴克利中心 |
| [18:39] | Okay, that’s disappointing. | 好吧 我失望了 |
| [18:41] | So disappointing. | 太失望了 |
| [18:42] | Seriously. | 对啊 |
| [18:45] | But that was last night. I mean, it’s not like… | 但那是昨晚的事了 又不是说… |
| [18:49] | Listen, Jeanette, we really need to | 听着 珍妮特 我们得 |
| [18:51] | have a serious talk about our… | 认真谈谈我们的事 |
| [18:54] | So, did Lily leave these boots here | 这双靴子是莉莉留在这里的吗 |
| [18:56] | or was it some other bitch? | 还是其他贱女人啊 |
| [19:01] | Marshall, Barney, help me! | 马修 巴尼 救命 |
| [19:05] | I don’t think they’re coming. | 我想他们不会上来了 |
| [19:08] | I guess not. | 我想也是 |
| [19:13] | It’s those red boots. | 都怪那双红靴子 |
| [19:15] | They just look sexy on everyone. | 谁穿上都是那么性感撩人 |
| [19:17] | Okay, Ted, what is with the red boots? | 泰德 你对这双红靴子有什么情结啊 |
| [19:19] | You’re a smart guy, you’ve got some taste, | 你是个聪明人 你有品味 |
| [19:21] | you got a visual sense, I mean, | 你长了眼睛 |
| [19:23] | you’re an architect for Pete’s sakes. | 你可是个建筑师啊 |
| [19:25] | How can you look at those boots and think… | 你怎么能看着那双靴子然后觉得… |
| [19:27] | Oh, my God, I’m holding it, I’m holding the baby. | 我的天 我抱着他 我抱着宝宝 |
| [19:29] | What, you’ve never held him before? | 你从来没抱过他吗 |
| [19:31] | Uh, tons of times. | 抱过无数次了好吧 |
| [19:32] | This-this is not a big moment for me. | 这对我来说可不是什么重大时刻 |
| [19:36] | This is exhilarating. | 太令人激动了 |
| [19:39] | Look, yes, I know what you’re gonna say. | 好了 我知道你要说什么 |
| [19:41] | I have to break up with her. | 我必须和她分手 |
| [19:43] | No, I was actually gonna say the opposite. | 不 我准备说相反的话 |
| [19:46] | I think you need to be with Jeanette right now. | 我认为你现在应该和珍妮特在一起 |
| [19:48] | Because she’s the one. | 因为她就是我的真命天女 |
| [19:50] | No. What? No. | 不 怎么会 绝对不是 |
| [19:51] | She’s insane. | 她是个疯子 |
| [19:53] | But I think you are also a little insane right now. | 但我认为现在你也有点疯 |
| [19:57] | So I think you need to go be with your crazy girl for a while | 你应该和你的疯妹子约会一段时间 |
| [20:00] | and when it all goes down in flames– | 然后等到一切热情燃烧殆尽时 |
| [20:02] | and I don’t mean that figuratively, | 我不是在打比方 |
| [20:04] | I expect there to be actual flames… | 我盼望着能真的有一场熊熊大火 |
| [20:06] | And there were. | 还真被她说中了 |
| [20:07] | …we’ll be here for you because we love you. | 我们会陪着你的 因为我们爱你 |
| [20:14] | Jeanette I just want to say that, uh, | 珍妮特 我想说 |
| [20:17] | you going through my stuff like that… | 你这样乱翻乱砸我的东西 |
| [20:21] | You are really something special. | 你真的很特别 |
| [20:25] | I’m gonna send Lily a dead animal in the mail. | 我会给莉莉寄一只死动物 |
| [20:30] | I think I’m falling for you. | 我想我真的喜欢上你了 |
| [20:32] | I think we should have a three-way with my therapist. | 我认为我们应该和我的心理医生玩3P |
| [20:34] | He’s 70. | 他70岁了 |
| [20:36] | What is your ring size? | 你戴几号的戒指 |
| [20:47] | Robin. | 罗宾 |
| [20:48] | It’s 3:00 in the morning. | 已经凌晨三点了 |
| [20:50] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [20:51] | Yeah, you sure you don’t want to just | 对 你要不要把他 |
| [20:53] | put him in the crib and, you know, go home? | 放进婴儿床 然后回家休息 |
| [20:57] | No, I’m good. | 不用 我没事 |
| [20:59] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [21:00] | Good night. | 晚安 |
| [21:01] | Good night. | 晚安 |
| [21:06] | What’s that smell? | 那是什么味道 |
| [21:09] | Lily! Lily! | 莉莉 莉莉 |