| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:06] | This is the life. | 这才是天堂般的生活 |
| [00:08] | We got the three B’s. | 我们拥有美好生活的三”大”要素 |
| [00:09] | Beach, booze and bodacious babes. | 大片海滩 大杯喝酒 大波美女 |
| [00:13] | I don’t know. | 我不确定 |
| [00:14] | I’m starting to think we should call the police. | 我都有点想找警察求助了 |
| [00:16] | Oh, would you relax? | 拜托放轻松 好吗 |
| [00:18] | We’ve got it made. | 我们都搞定了 |
| [00:19] | One whole week at his bodacious beach house, | 他把海边大宅借我们用一个礼拜 |
| [00:21] | no strings attached. | 而且是无附加条件[无线] |
| [00:23] | Well, there is one string attached. | 其实 有一条线 |
| [00:29] | Hi, Barney. | 嗨 巴尼 |
| [00:38] | Bodacious. | 波大滔天 |
| [00:41] | “Weekend at Barney’s!” | “巴尼家的周末” |
| [00:42] | What is it? What’s wrong? | 什么 出什么事了 |
| [00:44] | The plays, Robin, the plays. | 秘技 罗宾 我的泡妞秘技 |
| [00:46] | The ingenious techniques I used as a bachelor | 那些我单身时候独创的 |
| [00:49] | to pick up busty dullards. | 泡波大无脑妹的把戏 |
| [00:50] | They just keep coming to me; I can’t turn them off. | 在我脑中一波波袭来 我关不掉那些画面 |
| [00:52] | Okay, Barney, let me ease your mind, okay? | 没事的 巴尼 我来帮你顺顺毛 |
| [00:55] | All right, here we go. | 好的 来吧 |
| [00:57] | Remember when you set your Playbook on fire? | 记不记得你烧掉《泡妞秘笈》那天 |
| [01:05] | That was the moment I realized you were someone I could marry. | 就在那一刻 我觉得你是可以托付终生的男人 |
| [01:09] | And I’d burn it again if I could. | 如果可以重来 我还是会选择烧掉它 |
| [01:11] | You’re right. | 你说得对 |
| [01:12] | I’m done with all these plays. | 我已经厌倦那些把戏了 |
| [01:14] | Besides, there’s no way I’ll ever come up | 而且 “巴尼家的周末” |
| [01:16] | with anything that tops “Weekend at Barney’s.” | 是我的巅峰之作 没有什么可以超越了 |
| [01:25] | “Weekend at Barney’s Two!” | “巴尼家的周末 第二集” |
| [01:27] | Damn it, Barney! | 去死吧 巴尼 |
| [01:29] | 更多影视更新 | |
| [01:40] | 老爸老妈浪漫史 | |
| [01:42] | So, there’s this big gallery opening tonight. | 今晚有个大型画展开幕 |
| [01:45] | Oh, we’d love to, but we’ve got this, um… | 我们很乐意出席 可惜我们要去… |
| [01:49] | Genesis reunion, Madison Square Garden, | 创世纪乐队回归演唱会 在麦迪逊广场花园 |
| [01:51] | front row. It’s gonna be legend… | 前排座位 绝对会成为传… |
| [01:52] | I wasn’t inviting you guys. | 我没有要邀请你们 |
| [01:54] | Oh, thank God. There is no concert. | 谢天谢地 其实没有什么演唱会 |
| [01:56] | As the captain’s new art buyer, | 作为船长新任的艺术买手 |
| [01:58] | I have to go schmooze this up-and-coming artist, | 有一个新秀艺术家叫斯特里克兰・史蒂文斯 |
| [02:01] | Strickland Stevens, | 我得去跟他套套近乎 |
| [02:02] | so we get first dibs on all his new stuff. | 这样就可以近水楼台先得月了 |
| [02:04] | And I’ll be helping Lily seal the deal | 我负责帮莉莉把买卖拿下 |
| [02:06] | by impressing the intelligentsia | 通过开几个与艺术沾边的玩笑 |
| [02:08] | with some art-related hilarity. | 博取那个知识分子的好感 |
| [02:10] | I’ve prepared some jokes. | 所以我准备了几个笑话 |
| [02:12] | Why couldn’t the art dealer pay his rent? | 为什么艺术品商人付不起房租 |
| [02:15] | – I don’t know. Why? – This is gonna be rough. | -不知道 为什么 -我要听不下去了 |
| [02:18] | Because he ran out of Monet. | 因为”莫奈”没了 |
| [02:18] | 莫奈和金钱英文读音相近 | |
| [02:22] | You’re gonna get that on the walk home. | 你们会在回家路上琢磨出笑点的 |
| [02:23] | How about this one? | 再听听这个 |
| [02:24] | You know what, we’d… we’d love to hear it, | 我们…我们特别爱听你讲笑话 |
| [02:26] | but we’ve got that, um… that… | 但是我们要去…那个… |
| [02:28] | Steely Dan, Carnegie Hall, | 斯迪力・丹乐队 卡内基音乐厅 |
| [02:29] | backstage pass. Let’s go. | 后台通行证 快走 |
| [02:30] | – We don’t want to miss whatever their big song was. – Yeah. | -我们可不想错过他们不知道啥的经典名曲 -对 |
| [02:33] | Your wedding response card, as promised. | 答应你们的婚礼请柬答复卡 |
| [02:35] | Why didn’t you just mail it like everybody else? | 你为什么不跟别人一样 邮寄给我们呢 |
| [02:38] | Oh, see, that’s sad, Robin. | 罗宾 太伤心了 |
| [02:40] | You should be touched that I hand-delivered it. | 我亲手奉上 你应该感动啊 |
| [02:43] | Has social media so eroded our interpersonal relationships | 社交媒体已经把我们的人际关系侵蚀了吗 |
| [02:47] | that we no longer wish to experience the… | 人们再也不想体验… |
| [02:48] | You wanted to keep the stamp? | 你只是舍不得花钱买邮票 |
| [02:50] | They’re 46 cents now. | 都涨到46美分一张了 |
| [02:51] | It’s getting out of hand. | 简直无法无天了 |
| [02:53] | “Your invitation is joyfully accepted | “我们很高兴接受您的邀请 |
| [02:55] | by Mr. Ted Mosby and Jeanette”” | 泰德・莫斯比和珍妮特上” |
| [03:00] | Kids, as you’ll recall, | 孩子们 还记得吧 |
| [03:01] | Jeanette was the last girl I dated | 珍妮特是遇见你们妈妈前 |
| [03:02] | before I met your mother. | 我交的最后一个女朋友 |
| [03:04] | My friends only had one tiny problem with her. | 我的朋友们对她 只有一点不满 |
| [03:09] | She was nuts. | 她是疯子 |
| [03:11] | So you’re bringing a plus one? | 所以你要带女伴参加啊 |
| [03:13] | If you count the voices in her head, | 如果算上她的分裂人格 |
| [03:14] | it’s plus five. | 其实带了五个女伴 |
| [03:16] | Guys, I’m bringing her, | 大伙 我会带她出席 |
| [03:17] | and you’re gonna love having her there. | 而且你们一定和她相处得很愉快 |
| [03:19] | Oh, and, um, by the way, | 对了 顺便说一句 |
| [03:20] | just so this doesn’t turn into an argument later, | 有件事希望你们不要有意见 |
| [03:23] | the dress she’s gonna wear | 她那天会穿白礼服 |
| [03:23] | isn’t technically white; it’s eggshell. | 严格说不是纯白色 是米白色 |
| [03:27] | The shoes are white, though. | 不过 她会穿纯白的鞋子 |
| [03:29] | And the gloves. | 戴纯白的手套 |
| [03:30] | And the veil. Well, see you guys. | 还有面纱 就这样 拜拜 |
| [03:33] | No, no, no. Mosby! Get… | 别走 别走 莫斯比 |
| [03:38] | Oh, my God, what happened? | 我的天啊 发生什么事了 |
| [03:40] | Oh, I trashed your apartment. | 我刚砸了你的公寓 |
| [03:43] | See, I got bored, | 我刚才有点无聊 |
| [03:44] | – so I started going through all your E-mails. – Sure. | -就开始翻你的电子邮件 -好吧 |
| [03:47] | And I found one from a woman | 我发现有个女人给你 |
| [03:48] | with the subject line, “Big penis orgasms,” | 发了一封标题为《大�乓�高潮》的邮件 |
| [03:51] | so naturally, I smashed your plates, | 所以很自然地 我砸烂你的盘子 |
| [03:53] | knifed your mattress, peed in your drawers, | 划穿你的床垫 还在你抽屉里撒尿 |
| [03:55] | the whole nine, but then, | 九个抽屉无一幸免 |
| [03:56] | while I was upper-decking your toilet, | 当我准备把屎拉在你马桶水箱时 |
| [03:58] | I actually read the e-mail. | 我仔细看了一下那封邮件 |
| [04:00] | Turns out it was spam. | 结果那是封垃圾邮件 |
| [04:04] | Classic Jeanette, huh? | 典型的珍妮特作风 对吧 |
| [04:06] | Oh, my God. | 老天啊 |
| [04:08] | You are certifiably insane… | 你绝对是病理学上的疯… |
| [04:11] | …about me. | 狂爱我啊 |
| [04:13] | Come here, you knucklehead. | 快过来 小傻瓜 |
| [04:14] | I can’t stay mad at you. | 我对你真是生不起气来 |
| [04:15] | Ted, Ted, I’m breaking up with you. | 泰德 泰德 我想跟你分手 |
| [04:18] | You’re just so intense, | 你总是紧张兮兮 |
| [04:19] | and it’s all moving way too fast. | 而且我们进展太快了 |
| [04:22] | Here’s your key back. | 钥匙还给你 |
| [04:24] | I never gave you a key. | 我没给过你钥匙啊 |
| [04:26] | And here’s your grandmother’s ring. | 你祖母的戒指也还给你 |
| [04:28] | She was buried wearing this. | 她不是戴着这戒指入土的吗 |
| [04:31] | And just like that, it was over. | 就这样 我们分手了 |
| [04:34] | I texted Barney and Robin. | 我发短信告诉巴尼和罗宾了 |
| [04:35] | I’m sure they’re over the moon | 他们听说珍妮特不出席婚礼 |
| [04:36] | that Jeanette’s not coming to the wedding. | 肯定高兴得不得了吧 |
| [04:38] | Oh, no, Ted, no. | 不 泰德 不会的 |
| [04:40] | They’re not gonna be happy about you being sad. | 他们不会把快乐建筑在你的悲伤之上 |
| [04:43] | They broke up! | 他俩终于分手了 |
| [04:46] | Ted, respectfully, | 泰德 容我冒昧问一句 |
| [04:48] | are you sure that this was the right girl for you? | 你真的觉得这女孩是你的天命真女吗 |
| [04:51] | Of course not. | 绝对不是 |
| [04:52] | She was crazy. | 她是个疯子 |
| [04:54] | Absolutely a nightmare. | 绝对是个噩梦 |
| [04:55] | It’s totally not worth the trouble. | 完全不值得为她劳心费神 |
| [04:57] | I mean, no matter how… | 我是说 无论如何 |
| [04:59] | no matter how great the sex was. | 不管我们的性爱有多棒 |
| [05:02] | Stay with us, buddy. | 兄弟 别让精虫上脑 |
| [05:03] | No matter how hot and passionate | 不管场面多么热辣 多么激情四射 |
| [05:07] | and surprising, | 多么奇招百出 |
| [05:09] | possibly illegal… | 或许违法了… |
| [05:10] | – I don’t like this. – Me, neither. | -我不喜欢这样 -我也是 |
| [05:13] | I’m gonna win her back. | 我要把她追回来 |
| [05:16] | Barney and Robin are gonna be so happy I’m happy. | 巴尼和罗宾一定会为我的幸福而高兴的 |
| [05:19] | I know. I know. | 我懂 我懂 |
| [05:24] | Did you just unhook my bra? | 你是不是把我胸罩解开了 |
| [05:27] | There, there. | 乖 乖 |
| [05:29] | That night was the big gallery show. | 当晚也是画展之夜 |
| [05:31] | Hey. I’m so sorry. | 真不好意思 |
| [05:33] | – I decided to grab a snack from the bodega. – Why? | -我刚去杂货店买了一份零食 -为什么 |
| [05:35] | They’ll have food at the gallery. | 画展都会准备吃的 |
| [05:36] | Oh, come on, these places never have food. | 拜托 这些地方从来没吃的 |
| [05:38] | It’s fine. | 没事的 |
| [05:39] | I got some Skittles. | 我拿了些彩虹糖 |
| [05:42] | That was the last bag of Skittles | 那是你马修叔叔 |
| [05:44] | your Uncle Marshall would ever buy. | 买的最后一包彩虹糖 |
| [05:47] | Meanwhile, I headed over to Jeanette’s place | 与此同时 我为了追回珍妮特 |
| [05:49] | to win her back. | 而跑到她家 |
| [05:58] | What the hell? | 什么情况 |
| [06:00] | I can’t let you do this, Ted. | 我不能让你这么做 泰德 |
| [06:02] | – I want Jeanette back. – No. | -我要追回珍妮特 -不行 |
| [06:04] | Well, then accept my apology. | 那么 请原谅我吧 |
| [06:06] | For what? | 原谅什么 |
| [06:08] | This. | 对你出手 |
| [06:15] | Damn it! You’re strong. | 靠 你真有劲 |
| [06:17] | – That’s just from Pilates? – Twice a week. | -这是练普拉提练的吗 -一周两次 |
| [06:20] | Look, I don’t want you getting back with Jeanette. | 我不希望你和珍妮特复合 |
| [06:22] | Ted, what is my one rule? | 泰德 我的唯一准则是什么 |
| [06:25] | You can tell how old a girl is by her elbows? | 根据姑娘的胳膊肘判断出她的年龄吗 |
| [06:26] | My other one rule. | 另外一条 |
| [06:28] | Flaxseed relieves upset stomach? | 用亚麻籽可以缓解腹痛 |
| [06:29] | My other one rule. | 另外一条 |
| [06:31] | Always have a fake pair of concert tickets in your pocket | 总是随身携带两张音乐会的假票 |
| [06:32] | in case Lily invites you to something stupid? | 以防莉莉邀请你们去参加什么白痴活动 |
| [06:34] | My other one rule. | 另外一条 |
| [06:35] | Lebanese girls sprint to third base and then stay there? | 黎巴嫩的妞都很容易上三垒 但也止步三垒 |
| [06:37] | – My other one rule. – New is always better. | -另外一条 -旧不如新 |
| [06:39] | New is always better! | 旧不如新 |
| [06:40] | Exactly, Ted. | 太对了 泰德 |
| [06:42] | You want to invite a date to our wedding, | 你想要带个女伴参加我们的婚礼 |
| [06:44] | it is not gonna be Jeanette. | 但她不可以是珍妮特 |
| [06:46] | It is gonna be someone new. | 得是某位新人 |
| [06:47] | And I am gonna help you find her | 而我将会帮你找到她 |
| [06:50] | with a little help from… | 只要稍稍借助于 |
| [06:52] | The Playbook. | 《泡妞秘笈》 |
| [06:54] | The Playbook? Didn’t you burn that? | 《泡妞秘笈》 你不是烧了吗 |
| [06:56] | Oh, I didn’t burn the real one. | 我又没烧那本真的 |
| [06:58] | That was the ceremonial playbook | 烧的那本是专门搞仪式用的 |
| [07:00] | for parades, mall openings, | 比如庆祝游行 商场开业 |
| [07:03] | inaugurations, stuff like that. | 就职典礼这些事情 |
| [07:04] | That’s a pretty big secret to keep from Robin. | 那可是瞒着罗宾的惊天大秘密啊 |
| [07:06] | Which is exactly why I’m trusting you, | 也正是我为什么会相信你 |
| [07:09] | my best bro, to never let her know | 我最好的兄弟 永远不会告诉她 |
| [07:11] | that the Playbook still exists. | 《泡妞秘笈》仍然存在世上 |
| [07:14] | Pinky swear? | 拉钩钩 |
| [07:16] | Fine. | 好吧 |
| [07:21] | 禁止携带食品 | |
| [07:21] | See, I told you. | 看 我跟你说了吧 |
| [07:23] | Thank God I snuck in this bag of goodness. | 感谢上帝 我把这包好东西偷带进来了 |
| [07:29] | There’s Strickland Stevens. | 那是斯特里克兰・史蒂文斯 |
| [07:31] | Even his scarf is up-and-coming. | 就连他的围巾都让人觉得很有前途 |
| [07:35] | Are you gonna be okay by yourself for a few minutes? | 你可以自己单独待一会儿吗 |
| [07:37] | Yeah, of course. Why wouldn’t I be? | 当然可以 有什么不可以 |
| [07:39] | Well, you’re sitting on an $80,000 sculpture. | 因为你坐着的一件价值8万美元的雕塑 |
| [07:43] | For 80 grand, | 这要8万美元啊 |
| [07:44] | you’d think it would be more comfortable. | 这价钱还以为能坐起来更舒服呢 |
| [07:46] | Lil, I’ll be fine. | 莉莉 我没事的 |
| [07:48] | Do you know who you’re talking to? | 你知道自己在跟谁说话吗 |
| [07:49] | 在美国有些高中学制为四年 | |
| [07:49] | In high school, I was voted most outgoing | 在高中 我高一 高三 高四 |
| [07:51] | freshman, sophomore and senior year. | 都被选为最会交际的人 |
| [07:54] | What happened junior year? | 高二那年怎么没选上 |
| [07:57] | Egdud Ferhaki, | 艾杜德・法兰克 |
| [07:59] | that outgoing son of a bitch. | 那个超爱交际的贱人 |
| [08:01] | He beat you for most outgoing? | 他打败你获得了最佳交际奖吗 |
| [08:04] | Huh? Oh, no, we tied. | 没有 我们并列了 |
| [08:07] | 96年度最佳交际奖 艾杜德・法兰克和马修・埃里克森 两人并列获得 | |
| [08:08] | Look, the point is, I can make friends anywhere, even here. | 重点是我能在任何地方交朋友 即便是这里 |
| [08:11] | – Thanks, baby. – You got it. | -谢谢你 宝贝 -没问题 |
| [08:16] | Hey, excuse me. | 你好 打扰了 |
| [08:18] | Listen. | 听着 |
| [08:19] | Do you think that you would enjoy a show | 你觉得你会不会喜欢一档 |
| [08:22] | featuring Donatello, Raphael, | 主要介绍多纳泰罗 拉斐尔 |
| [08:26] | Michelangelo and Leonardo? | 米开朗基罗和达芬奇的节目呢 |
| [08:29] | Sound like you’re a fan | 看来你确实是 |
| [08:29] | 忍者神龟是以这四位伟大艺术家的名字而命名的 | |
| [08:30] | of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. | 忍者神龟的粉丝啊 |
| [08:31] | Skin it是不敬的印度俚语 意为”手淫” | |
| [08:31] | Gotcha. Skin it. | 骗到你了吧 击下掌 |
| [08:38] | He will get that on the drive home. | 他开车回家路上会琢磨出笑点的 |
| [08:40] | He didn’t. | 他没有 |
| [08:43] | – Fireworks? – Yeah. | -烟花 -没错 |
| [08:45] | Everything in there is a prop we’ll need for tonight. | 里面的所有东西都是我们今晚要用的道具 |
| [08:52] | 爸爸 | |
| [08:53] | 地铁日报 世界末日 及时做爱 | |
| [08:55] | Everything. | 所有宝贝 |
| [08:56] | All right, here’s how this is going down. | 接下来要这样做 |
| [08:58] | You’ll be wearing this earpiece and microphone. | 你带着这个耳机和话筒 |
| [09:00] | I’ll be staked out here, telling you exactly what to say, | 我会守在这里 告诉你该说什么 |
| [09:03] | so just stay focused and you’ll be fine. | 所以你只要集中精神就好了 |
| [09:06] | Which play are we gonna run first? | 我们要先耍哪一出呢 |
| [09:08] | How about the “Weekend at Barney’s”? | “巴尼家的周末”怎么样 |
| [09:11] | Oh, Ted, your first day at the salon, | 泰德 你第一天到美发沙龙上班 |
| [09:14] | and you want to do a cut and color? | 就想给客人剪染一条龙服务吗 |
| [09:15] | No. Tonight we’re gonna start off with… | 不 今晚我们将从这章开始 |
| [09:18] | 特别专递 | |
| [09:20] | Ice Man to Neruda. | 冰人呼叫聂鲁达 |
| [09:22] | Ice Man to Neruda. | 冰人呼叫聂鲁达 |
| [09:24] | Bogey at 10:00, | 10点钟方向有妖怪 |
| [09:25] | and she is packing two fully-operational | 她装配有两台完全可操作的 |
| [09:27] | sweater stretchers. | 毛衫拉伸机 |
| [09:28] | That’s bravo, Oscar, Oscar, bravo, Sierra. | 也就是简称为BOOBS[咪咪]的神器 |
| [09:31] | Possible delta cups. | 估计有D罩杯 |
| [09:34] | Copy that. Engaging target. | 收到 确定目标 |
| [09:35] | Over. | 完了 |
| [09:36] | Excuse me, I have a delivery for Lisa. | 打扰了 我有一份给丽莎的快递 |
| [09:38] | Excuse me, I have a delivery for Lisa. | 打扰了 我有一份给丽莎的快递 |
| [09:41] | – Are you Lisa? – Are you Lisa? | -你是丽莎吗 -你是丽莎吗 |
| [09:43] | Uh, no. | 不是 |
| [09:44] | But you must be. | 可是应该就是你啊 |
| [09:45] | I was told to… | 有人让我 |
| [09:47] | …deliver this package to a girl named Lisa, | 把这个包裹给一个叫丽莎的女孩 |
| [09:50] | and that I’d recognize her because she’d be… | 我可以不费力就认出她 |
| [09:52] | The most beautiful girl in this bar. | 因为她是酒吧里最漂亮的女孩 |
| [09:55] | So, here’s your delivery, lisa. | 给 你的包裹 丽莎 |
| [09:58] | Uh, I am definitely not Lisa, | 我真不是丽莎 |
| [09:59] | but I would be happy to help you find her. | 不过我很乐意帮你找到她 |
| [10:02] | Great, and then maybe later… | 很好 等会儿也许… |
| [10:06] | I could give you a different package– my penis. | 我可以给你一个新的包裹 我的老二 |
| [10:11] | That is a terrible line! | 这台词真是糟透了 |
| [10:13] | You said it wrong. | 你说的方式错了 |
| [10:14] | I did not say it wrong. | 我没说错 |
| [10:16] | My penis. | 我的老二 |
| [10:17] | – No. – My penis. | -不对 -我的老二 |
| [10:18] | Still not right. | 语气还是不对 |
| [10:19] | My penis, my penis, my penis! | 我的老二 我的老二 我的老二 |
| [10:24] | Hello. | 大家好 |
| [10:27] | This sucks. | 太不爽了 |
| [10:28] | I can’t get near Strickland. | 我无法接近斯特里克兰 |
| [10:31] | At least Marshall’s having a good time. | 至少马修玩得挺开心 |
| [10:33] | Man, he always knows just the right thing to say. | 他总是能找对话题跟别人聊 |
| [10:35] | For a gay guy, Andy Warhol sure liked cans. | 作为一个同性恋 安迪・沃霍尔当然喜欢瓶瓶罐罐 |
| [10:35] | 20世纪艺术界最有名的人物之一 将浓汤罐头与可乐瓶化身成艺术品 | |
| [10:41] | This sucks. | 太失败了 |
| [10:43] | Maybe I’ve lost my charm. | 也许我的魅力已不如从前 |
| [10:45] | No, Marshall, | 不 马修 |
| [10:46] | if Lily’s gonna make it in this fancy art world, | 如果莉莉能在这个艺术殿堂里游刃有余 |
| [10:48] | you’re gonna have to make it, too, so suck it up, | 你也能做到 振作起来 |
| [10:50] | stop sitting on the art, | 别坐在艺术品上 |
| [10:52] | and bust out the “A” material. | 秀出最好的自己 |
| [10:59] | You two keep chugging like that, | 你俩继续这样多干几杯 |
| [11:01] | you’re gonna have to | 你们就要 |
| [11:01] | Vincent van go to the bathroom, am I right? | 文森特・梵[去]厕所了 对吧 |
| [11:04] | It’s pronounced van Gogh. | 人家叫文森特・梵高 |
| [11:09] | Oh, “Blogh” Me. | 去你的高 |
| [11:11] | 捐肾 | |
| [11:12] | I still don’t get why someone would leave the hospital | 我还是不明白 为什么出院之前 |
| [11:15] | without changing into their clothes first. Over. | 不换衣服呢 完毕 |
| [11:17] | Ted, this is my thing. | 泰德 这是我的招 |
| [11:18] | So just… okay? | 就… 行吗 |
| [11:20] | Over. | 完毕 |
| [11:21] | Okay? Over. | 行吗 完毕 |
| [11:25] | Are you all right? | 你没事吧 |
| [11:27] | What? Oh. | 什么 |
| [11:28] | Yes, yes, I’m fine. | 我没事 没事 |
| [11:31] | Tomorrow, I’m… | 明天 我… |
| [11:32] | donating a kidney to my best friend. | 要捐一个肾给我的好朋友 |
| [11:35] | My best friend Barney. | 我的挚友 巴尼 |
| [11:37] | Not Marshall. | 不是马修 |
| [11:39] | Barney. | 是巴尼 |
| [11:40] | Marshall’s so lame. | 马修弱爆了 |
| [11:43] | Anyway, uh… | 总之… |
| [11:45] | just wanted to grab one last drink, in case… | 我只想最后再喝一杯 以防… |
| [11:47] | you know, I don’t make it. | 我没挺过来 |
| [11:49] | You are so brave. | 你真勇敢 |
| [11:51] | Hey, listen. | 听我说 |
| [11:52] | Before I give my best friend this organ, how about… | 在捐赠我这个器官之前 不如… |
| [11:57] | Nope. | 不行 |
| [11:58] | Nope, I’m not saying that. | 不 我不会那么说 |
| [12:00] | I did hear you, | 我听到了 |
| [12:01] | but I’m not saying that. | 不过我不会说 |
| [12:03] | Because I’m not. | 因为我不会说 |
| [12:05] | Are you okay? | 你没事吧 |
| [12:06] | One second. I know you put a lot of work into this. | 等等 我知道你倾注了很多心血 |
| [12:09] | I understand that. | 我明白 |
| [12:11] | I understand that. | 我明白 |
| [12:12] | I understand that. | 我明白 |
| [12:16] | I understand that. | 我明白 |
| [12:18] | Why can’t I just talk to her? | 我为什么不能和她聊聊天 |
| [12:19] | Maybe we’ll hit it off… | 可能会擦出什么火花呢 |
| [12:23] | Fine. | 好吧 |
| [12:24] | Copy that. | 收到 |
| [12:29] | How about I give you a different organ? | 不如我把另一个器官给你 |
| [12:34] | My penis. | 我的老二 |
| [12:40] | – You said it wrong. – I did not say it wrong! | -你说的方式错了 -我没有说错 |
| [12:44] | Thank you all so much for coming. | 感谢大家的光临 |
| [12:46] | If you’ll indulge me, | 如果大家允许的话 |
| [12:47] | I would like to share a story | 我想给大家讲个关于 |
| [12:49] | about my dearly departed grandmother. | 我过世的祖母的故事 |
| [12:50] | Oh, God. | 天啊 |
| [12:52] | News flash, Johnny Ascot: | 告诉你个新闻 强尼・阿斯科特 |
| [12:54] | Lots of people have dead grandmas. | 很多人的祖母都过世了 |
| [12:57] | No, Marshall. | 不 马修 |
| [12:58] | Don’t be bitter. | 别这么尖酸 |
| [12:59] | You’re here for Lily. | 你是为了莉莉来的 |
| [13:01] | Just look at her, so professional. | 看看她 那么专业 |
| [13:03] | She hasn’t sat on a single piece of art. | 她可还没坐过一件艺术品呢 |
| [13:06] | You’re gonna ride this thing out with dignity for Lily. | 为了莉莉 你得有风度地忍着 |
| [13:09] | Not one more thing that might embarrass her. | 不能再做让她尴尬的事情 |
| [13:12] | I will simply stand here. | 我就站在这里 |
| [13:15] | Perfectly invisible. | 完全隐形 |
| [13:18] | And so I dedicate this show | 所有 我把这场展览 |
| [13:20] | to my grandmother’s memory. | 献给我的祖母 |
| [13:23] | Now… | 现在 |
| [13:24] | please join me in honoring her | 为了纪念她 请和我一起 |
| [13:27] | with 60 seconds of absolute silence. | 静默一分钟 |
| [14:01] | 我有一个宠物叫尼斯湖水怪 | |
| [14:03] | Okay, Neruda, this play is extremely complicated. | 好啦 聂鲁达 这场戏非常复杂 |
| [14:07] | Let me guess. Does it involve me | 我猜 是要我用苏格兰口音 |
| [14:09] | saying “My penis” in a Scottish accent? | 说出”我的老二”吗 |
| [14:11] | Now you’re gettin’ it, laddie! | 渐入佳境啊 小伙子[苏格兰口音] |
| [14:15] | Robin. What are you doing here? | 罗宾 你来干嘛呢 |
| [14:16] | I was curious as to whether | 我只是好奇你有没有 |
| [14:18] | you found Ted a date to our wedding | 给泰德找到女伴参加我们的婚礼 |
| [14:19] | who was a little less, you know, antichrist-y. | 找一个不这么…像魔鬼的女伴 |
| [14:25] | Is that the Playbook? | 那是《泡妞秘笈》吗 |
| [14:28] | No, Robin, that is a couch. | 不是 罗宾 那是沙发 |
| [14:40] | Oh, you mean the Playbook on the couch? | 你是说沙发上的《泡妞秘笈》吗 |
| [14:43] | – I can explain. – Don’t bother. | -我可以解释 -不用了 |
| [14:44] | I can ex… Uh, Ted? Uh… | 我能… 泰德 |
| [14:46] | I got to step away from mission control for a sec. | 我得离开指挥中心一下 |
| [14:48] | Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone. | 我走了之后 不要做任何傻事 |
| [14:50] | Robin… | 罗宾 |
| [15:04] | Robin, wait. | 罗宾 等等 |
| [15:07] | Um… shoot. I haven’t figured out | 糟糕 我还没想好 |
| [15:09] | what I’m gonna say yet. Keep going. | 要说什么 你继续走 |
| [15:12] | Robin, wait. | 罗宾 等等 |
| [15:15] | Look, I’m sorry that I still have the Playbook. | 很抱歉 我还留着《泡妞秘笈》 |
| [15:18] | It’s just, it’s filled with a lifetime of great ideas. | 可是那本书包含了我一生的好点子 |
| [15:21] | Am I supposed to just leave all that behind? | 我应该把这些心血都扔了吗 |
| [15:22] | – Yes. – But… | -是的 -但是… |
| [15:25] | “Weekend at Barney’s”! | “巴尼家的周末” |
| [15:27] | Okay, what is that? | 那是什么 |
| [15:28] | Explain the “Weekend at Barney’s” to me. | 给我解释一下”巴尼家的周末” |
| [15:30] | What’s to explain? | 这还用解释吗 |
| [15:31] | I play a dead guy, | 我假扮死人 |
| [15:32] | and Ted and Marshall carry me around. | 泰德和马修拉我到处转悠 |
| [15:34] | Okay. And based on that, girls want to sleep with you. | 好吧 凭这点 就有女人想和你上床 |
| [15:36] | – Big time. – But you’re dead. | -超成功的 -但你死了 |
| [15:38] | Yeah. Except not really, obviously. | 对 但显然不是真死了 |
| [15:40] | But the girl thinks you’re dead. | 但你泡的妞以为你死了 |
| [15:41] | No, she thinks I’m alive. | 不 她以为我活着 |
| [15:42] | – Which you are. – Exactly. | -你本来就活着 -对 |
| [15:43] | – Except you’re dead. – Exactly. | -除了你死了 -对 |
| [15:45] | – Except you’re alive. – Exactly. | -只是你活着 -对 |
| [15:46] | Okay, so instead of… of being an alive person | 好吧 与其一个大活人 |
| [15:50] | pretending to be a dead person | 假扮一个死人 |
| [15:51] | pretending to be an alive person, | 假扮的活人 |
| [15:53] | why not just be an alive person? | 为什么不就做个活人呢 |
| [15:56] | Okay, let’s start from the beginning. | 好吧 我们从头说起 |
| [15:59] | The movie is called Weekend at Bernie’s. | 电影名叫《伯尼家的周末》 |
| [16:03] | My name is Barney. | 而我叫巴尼 |
| [16:07] | I’m so sorry, sweetie. | 真是太对不起了 亲爱的 |
| [16:09] | I don’t know if you heard, | 不知道你听到没 |
| [16:10] | but I dropped some Skittles. | 我掉了些彩虹糖豆 |
| [16:12] | Do you know what, I’m just gonna go home before I make things worse. | 我还是回家算了 以免闯更大的祸 |
| [16:14] | You’re not going anywhere. | 你哪里都别去 |
| [16:16] | We’re a team. | 我们是团队 |
| [16:17] | You stuck by me after my nip slip | 我在你的法学院毕业典礼上露点 |
| [16:19] | at your law school graduation. | 是你掩护我 |
| [16:21] | And after my nip slip at the GNB Christmas party. | 我在巨人银行圣诞派对上露点 也是你掩护我 |
| [16:25] | And after my nip slip | 还有那次我在 |
| [16:26] | at the Honeywell and Coots Family Fun Day. | 霍尼韦尔和库茨公司的家庭同乐日上露点 |
| [16:28] | I don’t know why you keep wearing that top. | 我不明白你为什么总是穿那件上衣 |
| [16:30] | All right, I’ll stay put, | 好吧 我不走 |
| [16:32] | but I’m keeping my mouth shut. | 但我就此闭嘴 |
| [16:33] | No more jokes, no more candy, | 不再讲笑话 不再吃糖 |
| [16:36] | no more Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. | 不再说什么忍者神龟 |
| [16:39] | Hey, are you guys talking Ninja Turtles? | 你们在说忍者神龟吗 |
| [16:41] | I’m a huge TMNT fan. | 我是忍者神龟的铁杆粉丝 |
| [16:43] | I grew up on those comic books. | 我是看着忍者神龟的漫画长大的 |
| [16:45] | Me, too! I was obsessed. | 我也是 我可着迷了 |
| [16:47] | Did you know that the original comic debuted | 你知道原稿漫画是在1984年 |
| [16:49] | in 1984 at a convention in New Hampshire? | 新罕布什尔的动漫大会上首次展出的吗 |
| [16:51] | Uh, yes. | 知道 |
| [16:53] | Did you know that Eastman and Laird always had their doubts | 你知道漫画的两位作者总是对 |
| [16:54] | about their characters being commercialized? | 自己创作的人物被商业化有疑虑吗 |
| [16:56] | Yes! | 知道 |
| [16:57] | Did you know that the painting on the back wall | 你知道后面墙上的画 |
| [16:59] | is inspired by Master Splinter? | 灵感来源于斯普林特老师吗[忍者神龟角色] |
| [17:02] | Oh, the one of the rat doing karate. | 耗子玩空手道那幅啊 |
| [17:04] | I see it now. | 我现在明白了 |
| [17:06] | Hey, I’m Strickland. | 我是斯特里克兰 |
| [17:07] | Hey. Marshall. | 你好 我是马修 |
| [17:09] | And this is my wife, Lily, who, as a matter of fact, | 这是我妻子 莉莉 事实上 |
| [17:12] | happens to represent one of the biggest art collectors | 她是纽约最大的艺术品收藏家之一的 |
| [17:14] | in New York City. | 私人代理 |
| [17:15] | I love your work. | 我喜爱你的作品 |
| [17:16] | It’s great to see you getting some recognition. | 看到你得到认可 真是可喜可贺 |
| [17:19] | Thank you. It’s been a long haul. | 谢谢 一切来之不易 |
| [17:21] | The first painting I ever sold, | 第一幅画卖的钱 |
| [17:22] | I used the money to get my car fixed. | 我用来修车 |
| [17:26] | You might say… | 你可以说 |
| [17:27] | I used it to make my van go. | 我用钱让车走[音近梵高] |
| [17:34] | Um, a little something called rigor mortis? | 你知道有一种事叫死后僵”硬”吗 |
| [17:37] | Oh, come on. | 别这样 |
| [17:38] | Are you really this mad about a book? | 为了一本书你至于气成这样吗 |
| [17:40] | You really think that this is just about a book, Barney? | 你真以为我只是气这本书吗 巴尼 |
| [17:43] | You lied to me. | 你骗了我 |
| [17:45] | If we’re gonna be in a marriage | 如果我们要结婚 |
| [17:46] | and trust each other, you can’t lie to me ever. | 要彼此信任 那你永远也不能对我说谎 |
| [17:49] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [17:50] | Well, that’s just great. | 这真是太好了 |
| [17:51] | Because, in case you haven’t noticed these last eight years, | 不知你注意到没有 过去八年 |
| [17:54] | lying is what I do best. | 说谎是我的最强项 |
| [17:58] | I’m a magician, Robin. | 我是个魔术师 罗宾 |
| [18:00] | Misdirection and deceit are my stock in trade. | 误导与欺骗是我的惯用伎俩 |
| [18:04] | You don’t want me to lie to you? | 你不要我对你说谎 |
| [18:06] | Lies are the reason that we’re together. | 谎言是我们在一起的原因 |
| [18:08] | Everything single thing I did | 我做的每一件事 |
| [18:10] | to get you to say yes to me on that rooftop– | 令你在屋顶上答应求婚的每一件事 |
| [18:12] | Patrice, the false engagement, everything– | 帕特里斯 假订婚 每一件事 |
| [18:15] | it was all utter malarkey. | 全都是谎言 |
| [18:17] | But… | 但是 |
| [18:18] | underneath all of those lies | 在这些谎言之下 |
| [18:21] | is one true thing. | 有一个事实 |
| [18:22] | One true thing that can support the weight | 这个事实可以支撑 |
| [18:25] | of all the lies in the world, and… | 全世界的谎言 |
| [18:29] | and that’s the fact that I love you. | 这个事实就是我爱你 |
| [18:31] | And you know that when I say that… | 你知道我说这话时 |
| [18:33] | I am not lying. | 我没有说谎 |
| [18:57] | Did you just unhook my bra again? | 你刚刚又解开我的胸罩了吗 |
| [19:00] | Jeanette, this is great. | 珍妮特 这真是太好了 |
| [19:02] | We’re back together. | 我们复合了 |
| [19:04] | You’re coming to Barney and Robin’s wedding. | 你会参加巴尼与罗宾的婚礼 |
| [19:06] | I found two wine glasses you didn’t smash. | 我找到了两个你没有摔碎的酒杯 |
| [19:09] | Call me crazy, but I’ve got a feeling, | 你可以说我疯了 但我有预感 |
| [19:11] | from here on out, it’s gonna be nothing but blue skies and… | 从现在开始 我们的生活只有蔚蓝的天空… |
| [19:14] | What… the hell… | 这个 他妈的 |
| [19:16] | is this?! | 是什么 |
| [19:21] | Check out this text from Ted. | 你看这条泰德发来的短信 |
| [19:29] | Oh, my… What the hell happened here? | 我的天 这到底是怎么回事 |
| [19:32] | Jeanette and I had a little spat. | 珍妮特和我小吵了一架 |
| [19:36] | Would anyone like some wine? | 要来点红酒吗 |
| [19:37] | It’s a nice Cotes du Rhne. | 这是好酒 产地是罗讷河谷 |
| [19:39] | Still needs to breathe a bit. | 不过需要倒出来醒一下酒 |
| [19:40] | You know what? I got a decanter upstairs, so… | 知道吗 我楼上有醒酒杯 |
| [19:45] | We should just drink it now. | 就这么喝吧 |
| [19:47] | And for the grand finale, | 最后的压轴戏 |
| [19:49] | I found your fireworks. | 我找到了你的烟火 |
| [19:50] | Let’s see what they do to your precious Playbook! | 看看烟火会把你的宝贝《泡妞秘籍》怎么样 |
| [19:53] | No! Jeanette, please, | 不 珍妮特 别这样 |
| [19:55] | that’s Barney’s life’s work! | 那是巴尼毕生的心血之作 |
| [19:57] | It’s fine, Ted. | 没事 泰德 |
| [19:59] | Blow it up, Jeanette. | 炸了吧 珍妮特 |
| [20:38] | Okay. | 好了 |
| [20:39] | No more dating. | 再也不谈恋爱了 |
| [20:42] | I’m ready to settle down. | 我已经准备好安定下来 |
| [20:44] | And, kids… | 孩子们 |
| [20:45] | for the first time in my life, | 我这辈子第一次发自肺腑地 |
| [20:47] | I really meant it. | 说出这句话 |
| [20:50] | Oh… The boots… | 我的靴子 |