| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:00] | 周五 下午6点 | |
| [00:04] | Ooh, Chicago! | 噢 芝加哥 |
| [00:05] | There is this pizza place called Gazzola’s. | 那有一家卖披萨的叫”加佐拉” |
| [00:07] | It’s fantastic. | 美味爆棚啊 |
| [00:08] | It was closed down for a while, but it just reopened. | 有段时间停业了 不过现在又重新开张了 |
| [00:10] | I’m sure they got a Godzilla’s in New York. | 我敢肯定纽约也有”哥斯拉”的 |
| [00:12] | We’re not stopping. | 我们不停车 |
| [00:14] | It’s just pizza. | 就只是披萨而已 |
| [00:16] | Just… pizza? | 只是… 披萨 |
| [00:19] | Let me tell you | 我来告诉你 |
| [00:21] | about the thing you say is just pizza. | 什么叫只是个披萨 |
| [00:25] | We begin with the first bite. | 咬下去的第一口 |
| [00:27] | Oh, the crunch! | 噢 嘎嘣脆啊 |
| [00:29] | And then the marinara. | 里面的披萨酱 |
| [00:30] | That roiling lava | 如岩浆般喷涌而出的 |
| [00:33] | of tomato and oregano– it overtakes you! | 番茄和牛至香料的热流 回味无穷 |
| [00:37] | I’m falling! | 我沦陷了 |
| [00:40] | And that’s…. when she catches you. | 就在那时 能一把抓住你的 |
| [00:43] | That chewy, | 是那份软糯 |
| [00:44] | voluptuous mistress, Mozzarella. | 像撩人的情妇一样的 马苏里拉奶酪 |
| [00:50] | Her oven-kissed cheeks crackle with warmth in your mouth, | 她那被烤箱热吻的脸颊 在你的口中带着火热 滋滋作响 |
| [00:53] | cradling the sauce and the bread, | 孕育着酱汁和面包 |
| [00:55] | letting you know that from now on… | 让你知道此时此刻… |
| [00:58] | this… is home. | 这… 就是家 |
| [01:03] | This pizza… | 这个披萨… |
| [01:05] | is home. | 就是家 |
| [01:09] | If it was so delicious, | 如果它真有这么好吃 |
| [01:11] | why’d they close it in the first place? | 那当初他们为什么停业 |
| [01:13] | -Rats. -We’re not stopping! | -因为老鼠 -我们不停车 |
| [01:15] | This road trip sucks! | 这趟自驾游烂爆了 |
| [01:30] | Barney’s bachelor poker game was winding down. | 巴尼的单身汉扑克游戏节奏变慢了 |
| [01:33] | Tim Gunn, out. | 蒂姆•古恩 出局 |
| [01:35] | Lily, busted. | 莉莉 破产 |
| [01:37] | Marshpillow, fluffed and turned down. | 马枕枕 软软地倒下了 |
| [01:40] | We were playing what | 当我们认为我们玩到 |
| [01:43] | we thought was our final hand, and it was getting intense. | 最后一把的时候 气氛变得紧张 |
| [01:45] | Action to Ranjit. | 到兰吉特了 |
| [01:50] | Ranjit, action to you. | 兰吉特 到你了 |
| [01:52] | What?! | 啥 |
| [01:54] | Hey, Ted, thanks again for your gift. | 嘿 泰德 还是要谢谢你的礼物 |
| [01:56] | He gave us a framed photo of all of us at the bar, and | 他给了我们一张五人组在酒吧里的带框的照片 |
| [01:59] | he’s getting us two other wedding gifts. | 还准备再送两个结婚礼物 |
| [02:01] | What can I say? I just love giving wedding gifts. | 还有什么好说的 我就是喜欢送结婚礼物 |
| [02:03] | I love giving wedding gifts so much, | 我超喜欢送结婚礼物 |
| [02:05] | I wish I could marry giving-wedding-gifts, | 我都希望我能和”送结婚礼物”结婚 |
| [02:08] | and then get myself and giving-wedding-gifts | 这样我和我的”送结婚礼物”夫人就能收到 |
| [02:10] | a wedding gift. | 一份结婚礼物 |
| [02:13] | Maybe saying things like that’s why I am not married. | 就好像在解释我为什么没结婚哈 |
| [02:17] | Oh, you know what. I should explain why Lily was angry | 噢 对了 我应该解释一下为什么莉莉这么生气 |
| [02:19] | Six years earlier, a few weeks after their wedding, | 六年前 他们婚礼后几个星期 |
| [02:22] | Marshall and Lily were going through their wedding gifts. | 马修和莉莉在整理他们的结婚礼物 |
| [02:24] | Well, that’s weird. | 太诡异了 |
| [02:26] | Did Ted get us anything? | 泰德送了我们什么吗 |
| [02:28] | Come on, Lily. | 拜托 莉莉 |
| [02:30] | Ted… Ted’s our best friend. | 泰德…他是我们最好的朋友 |
| [02:31] | If his gift hasn’t arrived yet, it’s on the way. | 如果他的礼物还没到 那肯定在路上 |
| [02:34] | But time passed, and no gift arrived. | 时间飞逝 没有礼物送达 |
| [02:37] | Finally, Marshall started dropping hints. | 终于 马修开始给我暗示 |
| [02:39] | Hey, man, | 嘿 哥们 |
| [02:40] | it was great having you at our wedding. | 你能参加我们的婚礼太棒了 |
| [02:41] | Thanks, Bro, and thanks for this coffee. | 谢了 兄弟 还有谢谢这杯咖啡 |
| [02:44] | It is great. | 太棒了 |
| [02:45] | You were not wedding absent. | 你才不会缺席婚礼呢 |
| [02:48] | No, sir. | 绝对不会的 |
| [02:50] | You were wedding present. | 你出现在了婚礼上 |
| [02:53] | Do I detect a note of hazelnut? | 我是不是还尝到了一点榛子的味道 |
| [02:57] | Wedding present. | 结婚礼物 |
| [03:01] | I think he got it. | 我觉得他懂了 |
| [03:05] | But I didn’t get it. | 可惜我没有 |
| [03:06] | More months passed. | 又过了几个月 |
| [03:08] | His hints got more desperate. | 他的暗示更明显了 |
| [03:10] | Happy Halloween! | 万圣节快乐 |
| [03:11] | What-what are you supposed to be? | 你扮演的是什么 |
| [03:13] | Well, I’m a wedding present, Ted! | 我是一份结婚礼物 泰德 |
| [03:15] | How could you not get me a wedding present? | 你怎么不懂我这个结婚礼物呢 |
| [03:18] | I mean, how could you not get that I am a wedding present? | 我是说 你怎么看不出我要扮一份结婚礼物呢 |
| [03:22] | Get me? A wedding present! | 懂了不 结婚礼物 |
| [03:25] | Get me a wedding present. | 快给我结婚礼物 |
| [03:28] | Why isn’t he getting it?! | 为什么他就是不懂呢 |
| [03:29] | I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
| [03:31] | Why didn’t you get the message | 那你为什么就没搞懂应该要 |
| [03:32] | to dress up like a pregnant teenager, home skillet? | 扮成一枚怀孕少女呢 你个家用大笨锅 |
| [03:35] | But he kept on waiting until the summer of 2008 | 他一直等到了2008年的夏天 |
| [03:38] | when I got engaged. | 当时我订婚了 |
| [03:39] | So Ted’s getting married, huh? | 泰德要结婚了啊 |
| [03:41] | Bet he’d love a gift from his old pal Marshall. | 猜他一定会喜欢老伙伴马修的礼物 |
| [03:43] | Well, he can forget it! | 哼 想得美 |
| [03:44] | We’re getting them a gift. | 我们要送他们礼物 |
| [03:46] | But Lily, this is the dream. | 可是莉莉 这是终极梦想啊 |
| [03:48] | This is the whole reason we wanted Ted to get married. | 这可是我们如此希望泰德结婚的全部理由 |
| [03:50] | So we could not give him a wedding gift, | 就为了他结婚时不送礼 |
| [03:52] | and he would know exactly how it feels! | 让他也尝尝这种滋味 |
| [03:53] | Baby, I’m as pissed as you are, but we’re getting them a gift. | 宝贝 我也很不爽 但我们还是要送他礼物的 |
| [03:57] | We have to. | 必须送 |
| [04:00] | Fine. | 好的 |
| [04:02] | We’ll get them a gift. | 我们就送他份礼物 |
| [04:05] | A gift that’ll send a message loud and clear. | 一份涵义昭然若揭的礼物 |
| [04:08] | A gift-wrapping station! | 礼品包装器 |
| [04:11] | Oh, boy. This time, | 哼 臭小子 这一次 |
| [04:13] | he has to get it. | 不信他还不懂 |
| [04:15] | And not long after that, a package arrived. | 而不久之后 他们收到个包裹 |
| [04:18] | Oh, well, well, well. | 哦 好好好 |
| [04:20] | Package from one Mr. Ted Mosby. | 从一个叫泰德•莫斯比的家伙那来的 |
| [04:23] | It’s a little late, but… | 虽说有点晚 不过 |
| [04:25] | What the balls is this?! | 你妹啊搞球啊 |
| [04:27] | It-It’s a thank you note | 是一张感谢函 |
| [04:29] | for the gift-wrapping station. | 谢谢我们的礼品包装器 |
| [04:32] | Which explains the face. | 于是就有了这张臭脸 |
| [04:35] | Wedding gift. | 结婚礼物 |
| [04:36] | Hey, Barney. | 嘿 巴尼 |
| [04:38] | I’ve got a wedding gift for you, too. | 我也要送你结婚礼物 |
| [04:39] | Don’t get married. | 别结婚 |
| [04:41] | Ah. | 啊 |
| [04:42] | In fact, it comes in His and Hers. | 其实 这礼物男女各一份 |
| [04:44] | Don’t get married! | 别结婚呦 |
| [04:46] | Don’t get married! | 别结婚呀 |
| [04:47] | Ah. | 啊哈 |
| [04:48] | I’m not cheating! Don’t tell anyone! | 我没作弊 别告诉别人 |
| [04:51] | I’ll cut you in on half! | 我会分你一半的 |
| [04:53] | Hey, Barney, | 嘿 巴尼 |
| [04:54] | can you ask James to stop crapping all over marriage? | 可不可让詹姆斯停止吐槽结婚这件事呢 |
| [04:58] | He’s not crapping on marriage. | 他没有在吐槽结婚啦 |
| [05:00] | He literally drew this on the toilet. | 他简直都把这个画马桶上了 |
| [05:04] | Come on, Robin. Please don’t ask me to pick sides. | 别这样 罗宾 别逼我左右为难啊 |
| [05:06] | In two days, he’s gonna be your brother, too. | 两天后 他也要是你的哥哥了 |
| [05:08] | Just be honest and tell him what’s bothering you. | 你就可以敞开心扉告诉他你在困扰什么 |
| [05:11] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [05:14] | Marshall, are you…? | 马修 你在 |
| [05:16] | Hey, Andretti! | 嘿 安得雷蒂 |
| [05:17] | Beat it! | 闪边 |
| [05:19] | Marshall, are you sitting down? | 马修 你坐好了么 |
| [05:22] | Well, I’m in a car, | 我在车上 |
| [05:24] | and you were pretty clear about | 而你应该很了解 |
| [05:25] | the No-Teen-Wolfing Now-That-I’m-A-Dad rule, | “禁止少男思维 专做成熟老爸”守则 |
| [05:27] | so, yeah, I’m sitting down. | 所以 我当然老实坐在车里 |
| [05:29] | Ted is getting Barney and Robin three wedding gifts! | 泰德准备送给巴尼和罗宾三份结婚礼物 |
| [05:34] | I hate him. | 我恨他 |
| [05:36] | Lily, | 莉莉 |
| [05:37] | requesting permission to make a stink? | 申请因为此事拿屁崩死泰德权限 |
| [05:38] | Stink away! | 申请通过 |
| [05:40] | Hurry up and get it over with. | 有屁快放 |
| [05:45] | Oh, that’s Marshall. | 哦 马修的电话 |
| [05:47] | I should take this. | 我得接个电话 |
| [05:48] | Well, | 好吧 |
| [05:49] | call me Akira Yoshizawa. | 请叫我吉泽章 |
| [05:54] | World’s most famous origamist? | 世上最著名的折纸师 |
| [05:57] | I fold. | 我折翼了 |
| [06:01] | Barney, here’s a good one. | 巴尼 这个比较好笑 |
| [06:04] | What’s the difference between a Journey song | 一首歌曲和一个丈夫 |
| [06:06] | and a husband? | 有什么不同 |
| [06:09] | A Journey song has a climax. | 歌曲有高潮 丈夫没有啦 |
| [06:12] | I’m sorry, Robin. | 不好意思 罗宾 |
| [06:13] | I’m just messing with you. | 吓唬你一下 |
| [06:15] | Raise a hundred. | 加一百 |
| [06:17] | No, it’s fine. | 没啦 还好 |
| [06:19] | It’s just funny hearing all this anti-marriage stuff | 不过听一个离了婚还带着他的婚戒的人 |
| [06:21] | from a divorced guy who still wears his wedding ring. | 说这些反婚姻的段子 还真有趣啊 |
| [06:24] | What, this? Mm. | 什么 这个吗 |
| [06:26] | Only wear it because, | 我还带戒指的唯一原因 |
| [06:27] | nothing attracts a gay guy faster than a wedding ring. | 没有什么比戒指更能诱惑到基友了 |
| [06:30] | Except saying hi to him. | 除了跟他打招呼 |
| [06:31] | Or being in the same room, or every app on my phone. | 也除了同处一室 还除了我手机里每一个十八禁应用 |
| [06:35] | People, it is a good time to be gay. | 同志们 搞基真欢乐啊 |
| [06:38] | So you can just… you can take that ring off anytime you want? | 这么说那你 是不是想摘就摘的呢 |
| [06:41] | Anytime. | 想摘就摘 |
| [06:42] | I’m all in. | 我全压 |
| [06:46] | And raise you… | 再加上 |
| [06:48] | one ring. | 一枚戒指 |
| [06:51] | Ooh! | 哟 |
| [06:55] | Fine. | 好吧 |
| [06:57] | It’s just a ring. | 不过一枚戒指 |
| [07:00] | Okay, let’s see what you got. | 好吧 看底牌了 |
| [07:03] | Robin has three jacks, | 罗宾有三张J |
| [07:05] | James has… | 詹姆斯呢 |
| [07:07] | just shy of a pair of a sixes. | 一对可怜的怂6 |
| [07:09] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [07:13] | I’m gonna hit the gym. | 我去健身房出个汗 |
| [07:14] | Let me know if you want to get some dinner later. | 等你们要吃饭了再叫我 |
| [07:16] | Oh, we’ll give you a ring, just not this one. Ho! | 噢 我们会让你”接旨”的 但不是这个戒指 哟 |
| [07:22] | You, Ted Mosby, | 你大爷的 泰德•莫斯比 |
| [07:24] | never got me and Lily a wedding gift! | 从来没有给过我和莉莉结婚礼物 |
| [07:26] | J’accuse! | 本法官指控你 |
| [07:27] | I did, too, get you a gift! | 我也指控你 我给过你们礼物的啊 |
| [07:29] | It was a coffeemaker, | 是一个咖啡机 |
| [07:31] | and you never sent me a thank you note! | 而且你们从没有给我寄过感谢信 |
| [07:33] | Oh. | 噢 |
| [07:35] | So-so… me-cuse? | 所以…被指控的是我 |
| [07:38] | You-cuse! | 指控你 |
| [07:40] | Robin, when I said, “Be honest and say what’s bothering you,” | 罗宾 当我说”坦诚一点 有什么困扰你就说出来”的时候 |
| [07:43] | I meant, stuff it down and never do anything about it. | 我的意思就是 能忍就忍 不要有任何过激反应 |
| [07:45] | How did you not get that? | 你怎么就不懂呢 |
| [07:46] | It’s fine. He’s a grown-up. | 没关系的 他是个成年人 |
| [07:50] | What did you do to my little boy? | 你们对我的小可爱做了什么 |
| [07:54] | Hi, Mom. | 嗨 妈 |
| [07:59] | -You get your brother’s ring back! -Mom, please don’t make me | -你给我把你哥的戒指要回来 -妈 求你不要让我 |
| [08:02] | -take sides! -That’s your brother out there. | -左右为难啊 -那可是你的好哥哥啊 |
| [08:04] | You two shared bunk beds and baseball mitts, | 你们可是睡同一张双层床 戴同一副棒球套 |
| [08:06] | and, when you were hungry, these supple breasts. | 而且在饿的时候 吸的还是同一对乳房 |
| [08:09] | Arguably a little too long. | 好吧 可能吸得还有点太久了 |
| [08:11] | Stinsons stand up for each other. | 斯丁森家族 为彼此而战 |
| [08:12] | Take care of this! | 你自己看着办吧 |
| [08:14] | -I… -I’m gonna play some cards. | -我.. -我要去打会儿牌 |
| [08:16] | All right, chumps. | 好的 呆瓜们 |
| [08:18] | I’m gonna tell you what I told Frampton’s guitar tech | 当弗兰普顿的吉他手找不到套套的时候 |
| [08:21] | when he couldn’t find a condom: let’s gamble. | 我就会对他说 我们赌一下吧 |
| [08:26] | You gave us a coffeemaker? | 你给了我们一台咖啡机吗 |
| [08:28] | Not just ah coffeemaker. | 不仅仅是一台 咖啡机 |
| [08:30] | I asked what they used at your favorite coffeehouse | 我专门去问了你们最喜欢的那家咖啡店用的机子 |
| [08:33] | and got you that exact… one tier down model. | 买到了刚刚好好 低一级的那款 |
| [08:35] | And you know what you got me? Huh? | 而你给我的又是什么 啊 |
| [08:39] | No thank you note. | 没有感谢函 |
| [08:41] | So I started dropping hints about it. | 所以我就一直在给你暗示 |
| [08:43] | Do I detect a note of hazelnut? | 这咖啡是不是含有点榛子味 |
| [08:45] | Wedding present. | 结婚礼物 |
| [08:46] | Kind of want to say thank you | 真有点想感谢 |
| [08:48] | to that note of hazelnut. | 这里面含的榛子 |
| [08:51] | Thank you… note. | 感谢…含 |
| [08:54] | Wedding… present. | 结婚…礼物 |
| [08:57] | Anyway… | 总之 |
| [09:00] | Thank you note. | 感谢函 |
| [09:04] | Yeah, he got it. | 是的 他肯定懂了 |
| [09:06] | But you never got it! | 可你根本就没懂 |
| [09:08] | I drank so much coffee that year, | 那年我喝了好多好多咖啡 |
| [09:10] | hoping you’d take the hint, | 希望你能懂我的暗示 |
| [09:11] | my resting pulse was like the drum solo from “Wipeout.” | 我的脉搏都跟”智勇大冲关”里的击鼓一个节奏了 |
| [09:14] | And then, uh, Halloween rolled around. | 然后 万圣节到了 |
| [09:17] | Get me a wedding present. | 快给我结婚礼物 |
| [09:18] | On that note… | 在那一点上 |
| [09:20] | I think you’ll like my costume. | 我觉得你会喜欢我的装扮的 |
| [09:22] | Mm. | 嗯 |
| [09:23] | I’m a thank you note. | 我是一封感谢函 |
| [09:26] | -Thank you note. -Ah. | -感谢函 -嗯哪 |
| [09:28] | Guess you could say that we sort of go together. | 我想你会说我们差不多算是一起出现的 |
| [09:31] | That’s right, Marshall. That’s right. | 对啊 马修 说的太对了 |
| [09:33] | When someone gets you a gift, | 每当有人送了你一件礼物 |
| [09:35] | you give them a thank you note. | 你就会回寄一封感谢函 |
| [09:38] | That is how it works. | 就是这么回事 |
| [09:39] | Give a gift, get a note. | 送了礼物 收到信函 |
| [09:41] | -Agreed. -Exactly. | -同意 -正解 |
| [09:42] | Exactly. | 正解 |
| [09:43] | -Exactly. -Exactly. | -正解 -正解 |
| [09:49] | I think he got it. | 我觉得他懂了 |
| [09:51] | Yeah. Yeah, he got it. | 好的 好的 他懂了 |
| [09:54] | I have to find a bathroom. | 我得去找地方上厕所 |
| [09:57] | I didn’t get it! | 我没听懂 |
| [09:58] | And I thought for sure you’d get it | 而且我觉得你一定是懂了 |
| [10:00] | when I sent that thank you note for the wrapping station. | 我可是回寄了那个包装器的感谢函 |
| [10:03] | “Dear Marshall and Lily, | 亲爱的马修和莉莉 |
| [10:06] | This is a thank you note to thank you | 这是一封感谢函 以感谢 |
| [10:09] | For the gift-wrapping station. | 你们赠送的礼物包装器 |
| [10:12] | Because even though the wedding never happened, | 因为就算婚礼根本没有举行 |
| [10:15] | There’s one thing that didn’t leave me at the altar, | 仍然有一样东西不会离我而去 |
| [10:18] | and that’s my manners. | 就是我的礼节 |
| [10:21] | I can’t believe this. | 我简直不敢相信 |
| [10:23] | Eriksens send thank you notes. | 艾瑞克森家族 必会寄感谢函 |
| [10:24] | It’s the one thing that we always do! | 这是我们万年不变的礼节 |
| [10:26] | We even have a family saying about it. | 我们家族甚至有个关于这个的谚语 |
| [10:28] | “Lick it, before you stick it!” | “戳之前 先舔之” |
| [10:30] | “It” being the stamp on the thank you note, | “它”是指感谢函上的邮票 |
| [10:33] | before you stick it in the mailbox. | 在你把信函戳进信箱之前 |
| [10:35] | I will make this right! | 我得把这事儿办好了 |
| [10:37] | I know, right? | 我知道 对吧 |
| [10:38] | Hey, listen, we’re about to go through a tunnel. | 嘿 听着 我们马上要过隧道了 |
| [10:40] | Guys, big dilemma. | 伙计们 大困境啊 |
| [10:41] | My mom’s insisting that I get Robin | 我妈妈一定坚持要我管管罗宾 |
| [10:44] | to give James his ring back, but Robin’s refusing. | 要回詹姆斯的戒指 可是罗宾拒绝了 |
| [10:47] | But James seems like he’s really upset. | 然后詹姆斯看起来好像特别难过 |
| [10:50] | But Robin’s gonna be my wife. | 但是罗宾就要成为我的妻子了 |
| [10:52] | But James is my brother. | 可詹姆斯是我哥哥啊 |
| [10:54] | But Robin lets me do sex to her. | 但是罗宾又让我跟她滚床单 |
| [10:56] | But I have | 可我死后 |
| [10:58] | to spend eternity in my mom’s mausoleum. | 又要永远躺在我老妈的陵墓里 |
| [11:00] | I just wish there was a way I didn’t have to take sides! | 就不能有个权宜之计 让我不这么为难么 |
| [11:03] | What should I do?! | 我到底该怎么办啊 |
| [11:07] | Choose your wife. | 当然是支持老婆了 |
| [11:09] | You always choose your wife. Easy. | 你永远都应该支持自己老婆的 多简单的事儿啊 |
| [11:11] | Got any other stumpers, like how to answer | 诸如此类的问题还有如何回答这个 |
| [11:13] | “Does this make me look fat?” | “我穿这件衣服显胖么” |
| [11:15] | Well, maybe a little around the hips but no more than usual. | 貌似屁股那儿显胖 但是比以前好点儿 |
| [11:17] | You’re getting married, | 看在你要结婚的份儿上 |
| [11:19] | so I will deal with that one after your honeymoon. | 这笔账我等你蜜月完了再跟你算 |
| [11:22] | And she did. | 她果然算了 |
| [11:23] | Belize was amazi… | 伯利兹简直美呆… |
| [11:29] | In marriage, being right is less important than being supportive. | 在婚姻里 分清谁错谁对永远没有支持你的另一半重要 |
| [11:32] | Remember, “happy wife equals happy life.” | 你记住”妻子快乐 幸福生活” |
| [11:35] | Wow, thanks. That’s some great advice, Lil. | 哇 谢了 这建议真是极好的呢 莉儿 |
| [11:38] | I knew I could count on you. | 我就知道你能帮到我呢 |
| [11:42] | He’s gotten very respectful with his fake listening. | 他假装听进去了 装得跟真的一样 |
| [11:45] | Anyway, Lily, | 不说别的 莉莉 |
| [11:46] | I told Marshall this already, but… | 我已经告诉马修了 但是… |
| [11:47] | don’t worry about not sending a thank you note | 别因为没给我寄感谢函而自责啦 |
| [11:49] | for the coffeemaker. It’s cool. | 不就一个咖啡机嘛 没事儿 |
| [11:52] | Uh, we did send a thank you note for the coffeemaker. | 但…我们真的给送咖啡机的人寄过感谢函了啊 |
| [11:55] | Uh… no, you didn’t. | 但…你们才没有写呢 |
| [11:57] | Uh… yes, we did. | 但…我们真的写了 |
| [12:00] | To Stuart and Claudia, | 写给了斯图尔特和克劳迪娅 |
| [12:02] | the people who gave us the coffeemaker. | 是人家两口子送的我们咖啡机 |
| [12:05] | Uh… | 但… |
| [12:09] | what? | 什么 |
| [12:10] | Hey, you two! | 嘿 你们好啊 |
| [12:12] | -Hey. -Hey. | -好啊 -好啊 |
| [12:13] | Hey, thanks again for that coffeemaker. | 嘿 再次谢谢你们送我们咖啡机啊 |
| [12:15] | We use it all the time. | 我们天天都用呢 |
| [12:17] | Especially when Ted’s over. | 特别是泰德那个破咖啡机坏掉以后 |
| [12:19] | Yeah, it’s a great machine. | 那个咖啡机超好呢 |
| [12:20] | We have one at home and we love it. | 我们自己家也有一个 我们可喜欢用了 |
| [12:22] | Did I forget to get you a wedding gift? | 难道说是我忘了送你们结婚礼物了吗 |
| [12:26] | What kind of monster am I? | 我这是什么禽兽行为啊 |
| [12:27] | Mosbys always give wedding gifts. | 莫斯比全族 无不送礼物 |
| [12:29] | We even have an expression: “Wrap it before you tap it.” | 关于送礼我们家还有俗话呢 “啪啪之前先套好” |
| [12:32] | You know, | 你懂的 |
| [12:33] | wrap the gift | 先套好礼物 |
| [12:34] | before you tap the person on the shoulder | 然后再啪啪拍两下对方肩膀 |
| [12:36] | and say, “Here’s your gift.” | 说”是你的礼物” |
| [12:37] | I will make this right. | 我得把这事儿办好了 |
| [12:41] | Robin? Two things: | 罗宾 两件事 |
| [12:42] | number one, are you dropping heat right now? | 第一件事 你现在是不是轻解罗裳性感到爆 |
| [12:44] | -No. -Great. | -没有 -太好了 |
| [12:46] | Number two. | 第二件事 |
| [12:47] | -Nice. -Thanks. Anyway, | -真有你的 -谢了 那什么 |
| [12:50] | I came up with an amazing plan | 我想到一个万全之策 |
| [12:51] | that I think will make everyone happy. | 保证皆大欢喜 |
| [12:53] | Step one, you let my mom win the ring back in a hand of poker. | 第一步 你让我妈赢一局扑克 这样她就把詹姆斯的戒指赢回去了 |
| [12:56] | Step two… | 第二步… |
| [12:58] | No, that’s all the steps. | 然后就没有然后了 |
| [12:59] | What do you think? | 你觉得怎么样 |
| [13:01] | So your plan is you do absolutely nothing | 所以照你说的 你就什么都不用做 |
| [13:04] | to get your fiancee’s back. | 也不帮你的未婚妻咯 |
| [13:05] | Okay. | 行啊 |
| [13:06] | Let me propose a different plan. | 那我来提另外一个建议怎么样 |
| [13:09] | Step one… | 第一步… |
| [13:10] | Good game, everybody! | 玩得不错啊 各位 |
| [13:13] | And that’s all the steps. | 然后就没有然后了 |
| [13:19] | That’s a really pretty bra, Mom. | 文胸真漂亮啊 老妈 |
| [13:25] | Well, I’d better leave now before I lose any more of my dignity, | 我想 在我的尊严还苟延残喘的时候 我还是离开吧 |
| [13:28] | the likelihood of which | 因为可能出现的状况是 |
| [13:30] | is increasing every moment in this very chilly room. | 这屋里越冷 我脱得越多 丢人丢得越大 |
| [13:33] | Oh… | 哎 |
| [13:36] | Not good, Robin. | 不咋地啊 罗宾 |
| [13:38] | Very not good. | 相当之不咋地 |
| [13:40] | How do you keep winning, anyway? | 你究竟是怎么做到每局都赢的啊 |
| [13:42] | Well, to the keen observer, | 对于一个善于观察的人来说 |
| [13:43] | all of you Stinsons have the same very subtle tell. | 你们斯丁森家的每一个人都非常不会装 |
| [13:48] | Whenever you’re bluffing, | 你们每次使诈 |
| [13:49] | you say the word “Bluff.” | 都会把”诈”这个字儿说出来 |
| [13:50] | Hey, I’m hungry. Uh… | 嘿 我有点饿了 那个 |
| [13:52] | should we get some bluffalo wings? | 要不要来点水牛城诈鸡翅 |
| [13:54] | Raise you $20. | 加20块 |
| [13:57] | When I walked in, I saw an all-you-can-eat bluffet. | 我过来的时候看见了一个包饱自诈餐 |
| [14:00] | Raise $50. | 加50块 |
| [14:02] | Mmm… I could use a bluffberry muffin. | 嗯…我来个诈莓松糕 |
| [14:06] | A blueberry bluffin. Sorry. | 蓝莓诈糕 说错了 |
| [14:08] | A bluebluffy muffbluff. All in. | 诈莓诈糕 全押 |
| [14:11] | I don’t believe it. | 我真不敢相信 |
| [14:12] | Robin, you’ve got to give her that blouse back. | 罗宾 你必须得把这件上衣还给我妈 |
| [14:14] | She loves that blouse. | 她特别喜欢这件衣服 |
| [14:15] | She got those sequins from Rick James…’s open casket. | 那些小亮片来自瑞克•詹姆斯… 的开着盖儿的棺材 |
| [14:20] | Nope. Not happening. | 没门 想都别想 |
| [14:21] | Woman, as your bridegroom, I command you! | 女人 作为你的新郎 我命令你 |
| [14:25] | We’ll leave and give you guys some privacy. | 我们先走了 你俩好好商量 |
| [14:31] | You, uh, want to take back that “I command you” Thing? | 你 你想收回”我命令你”这句话吗 |
| [14:35] | Please can I? | 求你了 女王大人 |
| [14:36] | Why is this so important to you? | 这些事对你就这么重要吗 |
| [14:38] | Because it’s my family. | 因为他们是我的家人 |
| [14:40] | And, so help me, you and I will never have sex again | 我对天发誓 你别想着再跟我滚床了 |
| [14:44] | if you don’t give back their bluff. | 除非你把他们的诈意换回去 |
| [14:46] | Stuff! Damn it. | 是玩意 气死我了 |
| [14:47] | I just… I want to feel like | 我就是… 就是想体会下 |
| [14:49] | you’re on my side once in a while. That’s all. | 你站在我这边什么感觉 没别的意思了 |
| [14:52] | Look, I’m gonna be your wife, for God’s sakes. | 看在老天爷的份上 我都快是你老婆了 |
| [14:54] | But, look, | 好吧 不过 |
| [14:56] | if it’s… if it’s that important to you, here. | 要是这些在你心中如此重要 拿走吧 |
| [14:58] | Do what you want. | 爱干嘛干嘛吧 |
| [15:01] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [15:02] | And please don’t play strip poker with my mom again. | 还有再也别跟我妈玩脱衣扑克了 求你了 |
| [15:06] | It’s all kinds of confusing. | 小孩子看了根本把持不住 |
| [15:17] | Oh, that’s where my phone is. | 哦 原来我的手机在这儿呢啊 |
| [15:21] | I wasn’t eavesdropping. Hey, baby. | 我一点也没偷听哦 喂 宝贝 |
| [15:24] | Lily, we were wrong the whole time. | 莉莉 我们一直都误解了 |
| [15:25] | Ted got us the coffeemaker! | 是泰德送了我们咖啡机 |
| [15:27] | He’s a wonderful man! | 他是个大好人 |
| [15:29] | What? No. Claudia and Stuart gave us our coffeemaker. | 什么 没有 咖啡机是克劳迪娅和斯图尔特给的 |
| [15:33] | Ted’s a rat bastard! Never mention his name again! | 泰德是个大混蛋 再也别跟我提他的名字 |
| [15:35] | Your coffeemaker? | 你们的咖啡机吗 |
| [15:36] | Ted got you that. | 是泰德送的 |
| [15:37] | I was with him when he bought it. | 我看着他买的 |
| [15:38] | I don’t know what to feel! | 我不知道做何感想了 |
| [15:40] | But Stuart said he got it for us. | 但斯图尔特说是他送的啊 |
| [15:42] | Stuart and Claudia checked in. | 斯图尔特和克劳迪娅登记入住了 |
| [15:44] | I saw them in the lobby. | 我看到他们进大厅了 |
| [15:47] | Let’s go get to the bottom of this. | 走 咱去把这事儿解决了 |
| [15:52] | Stuart, | 斯图尔特 |
| [15:53] | no B.S., did you really get us | 废话少说 我们结婚时那台咖啡机 |
| [15:55] | that coffeemaker for our wedding? | 真的是你送给我们的吗 |
| [15:57] | Of course. | 当然啦 |
| [15:58] | What a crazy thing to ask. | 你怎么会这么问呢 |
| [16:01] | They never give you enough of these things. | 房间里这些东西总是不够用 |
| [16:02] | Oh, my God. | 天哪 |
| [16:04] | Ted got us that coffeemaker, | 咖啡机明明是泰德送的 |
| [16:06] | and you just played it off as your gift. | 你只是把它假装成你送的礼物 |
| [16:09] | You’re a weasel. Admit it. | 鼠辈 速速招来 |
| [16:12] | No, that’s insane. | 不 根本不是这样 |
| [16:13] | Really? | 不是吗 |
| [16:14] | Housekeeping! | 呼叫清洁大妈 |
| [16:15] | Conditioner thief! | 有人偷护发素啦 |
| [16:16] | Okay, shh, shh. Yes, I am a weasel. | 好了 嘘 对对对 我是个鼠辈小贼 |
| [16:18] | I ripped the card off Ted’s gift and I wrote my name on it. | 我把泰德礼物上的卡片扯下来 换上我自己的名字 |
| [16:22] | Does Claudia know about this? | 克劳迪娅知道这件事吗 |
| [16:23] | No. Please don’t tell her. | 不知道 求你不要告诉她 |
| [16:26] | That gift was a turning point for us. | 这件礼物是我们关系的转折点 |
| [16:31] | I got to admit, | 我得承认 |
| [16:33] | I came pretty close to leaving you. | 我几乎马上就要离开你了 |
| [16:36] | Bags packed, plane ticket purchased, | 行李收拾好了 机票也买好了 |
| [16:39] | topless pics sent to your brother, the whole nine. | 露胸小照也发给你哥哥了 高清无码 |
| [16:41] | But seeing that you got our friends such a nice gift, | 但现在发现你送给我们的朋友如此精心的礼物 |
| [16:46] | ah, it just really puts you in a whole new light. | 真是让我觉得你又闪闪发亮了 |
| [16:49] | Oh. | 是吗 |
| [16:52] | I’m a pretty great guy. | 我是个大好人 |
| [16:58] | And since that day, on the foundation of that coffeemaker, | 于是从那天起 在那台咖啡机的基础上 |
| [17:01] | we’ve built a strong, nurturing relationship. | 我们建立了牢靠的有品质的关系 |
| [17:05] | Well, out of respect for your marriage, I won’t say anything. | 好吧 为了你们的婚姻 我不会告发你的 |
| [17:10] | Say hi to Claudia when she gets out of the shower. | 等克劳迪娅洗完澡替我向她问好 |
| [17:13] | That’s not Claudia. Good night. | 里面不是克劳迪娅 晚安 |
| [17:16] | Tap tap. | 啪啪 |
| [17:18] | Look what I wrapped! | 看我包了什么 |
| [17:20] | What? | 怎么了 |
| [17:23] | So, I went to give James his ring back… | 我刚才去把戒指还给詹姆斯 |
| [17:27] | Glad you came to your senses. | 真好 你恢复理智了 |
| [17:29] | You can’t let being married keep you from being you. | 你可不能让婚姻阻碍你做自己 |
| [17:32] | It’s like Tom, | 就像汤姆那样 |
| [17:33] | always telling me I spend too much time at the gym. | 他总说我在健身房花了太多时间 |
| [17:36] | Exactly. Is it so wrong | 没错 难道每周去个两三次 |
| [17:37] | if you want to work out a couple times a week? | 健身房运动一下有错吗 |
| [17:39] | Right. Or a couple times a day. | 就是说啊 或者每天两三次 |
| [17:40] | Or a couple times… | 或者说每… |
| [17:42] | A couple times a day? Really? | 每天两三次 真的吗 |
| [17:44] | A few hours before work, a few hours after. | 上班前练几小时 下班后练几小时 |
| [17:47] | Only way to keep up the chocolate xylophone. | 只有这样才能让我这枚巧克力木琴紧致有活力 |
| [17:51] | Still, that’s a lot of time at the gym. | 就算这样 在健身房的时间还是太多了 |
| [17:53] | Especially with two kids. | 尤其是家里还有两个孩子的情况下 |
| [17:55] | It’s like I always said to Tom, | 就像我一直对汤姆说的那样 |
| [17:56] | “I’ve got to stay in shape | 我得保持身材 |
| [17:58] | in case I’m ever single again.” | 万一我又单身了呢 |
| [18:00] | And, hello, I was right. | 而且 拜托 我是对的 |
| [18:02] | Oh, my God. | 我的天哪 |
| [18:05] | I think I finally understand what Lily was mumbling | 我好像终于明白莉莉刚才 |
| [18:08] | in my peripheral vision earlier. | 一直在那嘀咕什么了 |
| [18:11] | I’m marrying Robin | 我娶了罗宾 |
| [18:12] | so I can be part of a team, | 我就要做她身后的一员了 |
| [18:13] | not just some guy alone at a gym | 不是那种一个人在健身房晃悠 |
| [18:16] | with admittedly amazing abs. | 带着八块亮闪闪的腹肌 |
| [18:18] | Thanks, Bro. | 谢了 老弟 |
| [18:19] | No. Thank you, Bro. | 不 是我该谢你 老兄 |
| [18:24] | You’re not getting this ring. | 这戒指你要不回去了 |
| [18:26] | I’m always gonna have your back. | 我会一直在你身后给你依靠 |
| [18:28] | No matter what. | 无论发生什么 |
| [18:30] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [18:32] | I love you. | 我爱你 |
| [18:34] | I love you, too. | 我也爱你 |
| [18:37] | Oh, oh! I almost didn’t tell you the best part! | 哦 差点忘了告诉你高潮部分 |
| [18:39] | There’s more! | 还有呢 |
| [18:40] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [18:41] | James, let me spell this out for you: | 詹姆斯 你给我听好了 |
| [18:44] | now that I’ve got Robin, | 我现在有罗宾了 |
| [18:46] | we are not brothers anymore. | 我们往后就不用做兄弟了 |
| [18:48] | What?! | 什么 |
| [18:49] | Uh-huh. | 嗯哼 |
| [18:51] | If you and Robin are both ever hanging from a cliff | 如果你和罗宾都挂在悬崖边上 |
| [18:55] | and I have one hand free, | 我只有一只手可以救人的话 |
| [18:56] | enjoy the fall. | 享受自由落体吧您呐 |
| [18:58] | Uh, buh-bye. | 嗯哼 拜 |
| [19:00] | If you… Oh, Mom! Good! | 如果你… 妈也来了 真好 |
| [19:02] | You should hear this, too. | 你也来听听吧 |
| [19:03] | This mother-son thing– it’s over. | 咱们这母子关系 就此了断了 |
| [19:06] | It’s been a nice few decades, | 虽然这么些年来关系挺不错的 |
| [19:07] | but I’ve got a wife now, | 但哥现在有媳妇了 |
| [19:09] | so you mean nothing to me. | 你对我来说毛线都不算了 |
| [19:11] | Oh, and me coming over for Thanksgiving and Christmas, | 对了 还有我回家来过感恩节圣诞节的事儿 |
| [19:14] | that’s done! | 没戏了您呐 |
| [19:15] | No more of that! | 想都别想了 |
| [19:16] | And you know why? | 知道为什么不 |
| [19:18] | Because Robin said so! | 因为罗宾这么说的 |
| [19:19] | This came directly from her! | 我完完全全照搬原话 |
| [19:23] | See ya, losers! | 拜拜了 俩怂货 |
| [19:27] | Oh, my God. | 我滴个神呐 |
| [19:28] | Yeah. | 如何啊 |
| [19:29] | Fiance of the year? | 年度最佳未婚夫 |
| [19:31] | -I think I know what’s next. -Oh, God. | -我知道下面要干嘛了 -天哪 |
| [19:34] | Oh, God. I can’t leave this room for the rest of the weekend. | 神呐 我整个周末都没法出这房间了 |
| [19:37] | I’m sure we can find something to do, eh? | 我们肯定能找到乐子的 对吧哈 |
| [19:41] | Ted, I’m so sorry! | 泰德 真对不起 |
| [19:43] | No, I’m sorry. | 不 是我该说对不起 |
| [19:45] | I shouldn’t have spent the last six years passive-aggressively | 我不该在过去的六年里都是一副消极的样子 |
| [19:47] | drinking gallons of coffee around you. | 在你身边喝那么多咖啡 |
| [19:49] | And I shouldn’t have taken that sewing class | 我也不该去参加那个缝纫班 |
| [19:51] | to learn how to make that wedding present costume. | 就为了学怎么自制结婚礼物服装 |
| [19:53] | -I regret all of it. -Me, too! | -我太后悔了 -我也是 |
| [19:55] | Except I actually don’t regret that sewing class. | 其实我不后悔报那个缝纫班 |
| [19:57] | I learned a fun and useful lifetime skill. | 真心学到了又有趣又有用的终生技能 |
| [20:00] | But, seriously, even without the coffeemaker, | 不过说真的 就算没有那个咖啡壶 |
| [20:03] | you’ve given us more than enough. | 你已经给了我们太多了 |
| [20:05] | Well, there is one more gift on the way. | 嗯 还有一个礼物在路上 |
| [20:08] | Whatever it is, send it back. | 不管是什么 送回去吧 |
| [20:10] | It’s a little late for that. | 现在说有点迟了 |
| [20:14] | Marshall Eriksen?! | 马修•艾瑞克森 |
| [20:15] | Yes?! | 什么事 |
| [20:17] | I got your pizza! | 我这有你的披萨 |
| [20:19] | Oh, Ted! | 哦 泰德 |
| [20:21] | You are the best friend ever! | 你真是史上最好的朋友 |
| [20:23] | Don’t say another word, Marshall. | 别再说下去了 马修 |
| [20:24] | Save it for the thank you note. | 留着写在感谢函上吧 |
| [20:27] | You got it, buddy! | 你就瞧好吧 兄弟 |
| [20:28] | And, kids, I got that thank you note four months later. | 孩子们 我四个月后才收到感谢函 |
| [20:33] | Four months. | 四 个 月 |
| [20:39] | Uh, here’s your blouse back. | 呃 这是你的上衣 |
| [20:41] | Is there any way we could just, um… | 咱们有没有办法可以…呃… |
| [20:43] | forget about all this? | 忘掉这事呢 |
| [20:44] | Oh, no, dear, you keep the blouse. | 哦 宝贝儿 你留着吧 |
| [20:47] | Think of it as your consolation prize. | 就当做是个安慰奖吧 |
| [20:50] | Consolation prize? | 安慰奖 |
| [20:52] | You won the battle. | 你虽然初战告捷 |
| [20:55] | But I’ll win the war. | 但最后胜利的肯定是我 |
| [20:59] | Game on, bitch. | 好戏开场吧 贱人 |
| [21:04] | On the next episode of How I Met Your Mother | 下集《老爸老妈浪漫史》将会如何 |
| [21:09] | Before you say your vows, | 在你们说出誓言之前 |
| [21:10] | -Hi. -Hi. | -嗨 -嗨 |
| [21:12] | -Hi. -Hi. | -嗨 -嗨 |
| [21:14] | You stole our story of how we met?! | 你们居然剽窃了我们的相遇故事 |
| [21:16] | you better get your stories straight. | 最好把自己的故事搞清楚哟 |
| [21:18] | If you do wanna get married in my church, | 如果你们还想在我的教堂里结婚 |
| [21:20] | you’ll stop breaking the night-commitment. | 就赶紧把夜誓背牢守住 |
| [21:22] | “No fat chicks”? | “肥妞别上”吗 |
| [21:24] | You’re killing me. | 你杀了我得了 |