| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:00] | 周日\N凌晨1点\N \N | |
| [00:01] | 婚礼前17小时 | |
| [00:39] | Oh, sorry, kids. | 抱歉 孩子们 |
| [00:41] | I forgot to mention there’s a bit of a backstory | 我忘了告诉你们这记耳光 |
| [00:43] | to this particular slap. | 背后的故事 |
| [00:45] | 几周前 | |
| [00:45] | Oh, man. | 真衰 |
| [00:46] | Oh. | 噢 |
| [00:48] | At least it landed on the mustard stain. | 至少是掉到了上次的芥末渍上 |
| [00:50] | Don’t bother. That suit is a stain. | 别费心了 这套西装本身就是块污渍 |
| [00:53] | A stain on the very institution of suits. | 西装界的一块顽渍 |
| [00:56] | You know what tie goes with that suit? | 你知道什么领带配得上它吗 |
| [00:57] | The tie at the top of a Hefty bag. | 垃圾袋上的松紧带 |
| [01:00] | A suit like that | 这破西装 |
| [01:01] | only needs one button… self-destruct. | 只需要一个纽扣 自毁 |
| [01:01] | 纽扣和按钮都是 button | |
| [01:03] | Hey, I bought him that suit. | 客气点 这可是我买的 |
| [01:04] | Where? Barfs Brothers? | 哪买的 是呕吐兄弟 |
| [01:07] | Men’s Outhouse? | 男厕世界 |
| [01:09] | Giorgio Arms… Are-Not-the-Same-Lengthy? | 还是乔治•艾玛袖不齐 |
| [01:12] | That suit is a slap in the face to all suits everywhere. | 这西装简直就是给西装界弟兄们的一记耳光 |
| [01:15] | A slap in the face. | 说到一记耳光 |
| [01:17] | Uh, yes, Barney. | 对了 巴尼 |
| [01:19] | There’s something I need to tell you about the next slap | 关于我将要给你的下一记耳光 |
| [01:22] | that you’re going to receive. | 我有言在先 |
| [01:23] | You see, | 听着 |
| [01:24] | I want this slap to be | 我希望这一掌之疼 |
| [01:26] | as painful as humanly possible. | 能达到人类所能承受的极限 |
| [01:29] | -Sure. Sure. -Okay, okay. | -说得好 -先打住 打住 |
| [01:31] | Yeah, I’m gonna stop you right there. | 别急 我有话要说 |
| [01:33] | Yes, you won a slap bet with me seven years ago. | 没错 七年之前你赢了我的耳光赌 |
| [01:37] | And, yes, over the years, | 而且 这几年来的耳光 |
| [01:38] | you got in some great slaps. | 打得还算不赖 |
| [01:40] | Some great slaps. | 是超凡脱俗 |
| [01:43] | But here’s the problem. | 但是有一个问题 |
| [01:44] | You’ve tormented me so much | 你这么蹂躏我 |
| [01:46] | that I am now immune to it. | 我早就免疫了 |
| [01:48] | Hmm. It’s as if | 就好像 |
| [01:49] | my face, my psyche, my soul | 我的脸 精神 以及灵魂 |
| [01:52] | were covered in that numbing cream | 已经涂抹上了一层麻沸霜 |
| [01:54] | we all put on our deals so that we can go all night. | 就跟我们涂在小弟弟上 来干到通宵一样 |
| [01:56] | Am I right, fellas? | 你们说是吧 兄弟们 |
| [01:59] | Okay, we’ll all just pretend like we’ve never done that. | 好好好 就当我们从没这么干过 |
| [02:02] | Just like we’ve never sat on our left hand until it fell asleep | 就像我们从没把左手坐麻 |
| [02:06] | and then used it for an away gamer. | 装作是别人在帮自己打枪一样 |
| [02:08] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [02:10] | We’ll all pretend like we’ve never done that. | 就当我们也没这么干过 |
| [02:12] | Just like we’ve all never taken | 就像我们从没 |
| [02:13] | two live jumper cables… | 用过两根跨接电线 |
| [02:14] | Please stop. | 快别说了 |
| [02:16] | Barney, I’m well-aware that you’ve developed | 巴尼 我很清楚你对我的旧把戏 |
| [02:17] | a resistance to all of my old tricks, | 早就烂熟于心不为所动 |
| [02:20] | which is why I sought out special training. | 所以呢 我决定外出学艺 |
| [02:23] | Hi, hey, I’m sure you get this question all the time. | 你好 肯定很多人都这么问过你吧 |
| [02:26] | But is there a special class where I just learn slapping? | 你这里有专业教打耳光的课程吗 |
| [02:29] | We teach Kung Fu here. | 我们只教功夫 |
| [02:31] | Right, see, the thing is, I don’t need | 那个 情况是这样的 |
| [02:33] | to learn anything about kicking. | 我不需要学踢腿 |
| [02:34] | You know? | 明白吗 |
| [02:35] | ‘Cause, uh… | 因为 呃 |
| [02:38] | So, yeah. | 您看 |
| [02:39] | I’m good there. | 已经很高超了 |
| [02:41] | Um, what I really need to learn is slapping. | 所以我需要的课程是耳光进阶 |
| [02:43] | I need someone to teach me how to slap my friend | 我需要有人来教我怎么一大嘴巴子 |
| [02:45] | just like really hard right in his stupid face. | 狠狠扇我朋友的大傻脸上 |
| [02:49] | Can you teach me that? | 您能教我吗 |
| [02:50] | Kung Fu is an ancient and honorable martial art. | 功夫是一种古老而高贵的武术 |
| [02:53] | It must be learned with great devotion and respect. | 想学就必须心诚和尊重 |
| [02:58] | So, where are we on this whole slapping thing? | 那学打耳光的事怎么说 |
| [03:00] | -Yes, no, maybe…? -Get out. | -行还是不行 -滚 |
| [03:04] | Psst. | 这里 |
| [03:05] | I know what you seek. | 我知道你要找什么 |
| [03:07] | You seek to learn | 你要学的是 |
| [03:08] | the Slap of a Thousand Exploding Suns. | 爆日千裂掌 |
| [03:12] | Yes, that’s totally a thing I’ve heard of. | 这个我还真听说过 |
| [03:14] | Can you teach me? | 你能教我吗 |
| [03:16] | No, but I know who can. | 不能 但我知道一个人 |
| [03:18] | Can you take me to this great master? | 你能带我去见那位大师吗 |
| [03:20] | I have much gold. | 我有很多金子 |
| [03:21] | It is not one great master you seek but three. | 不是一位 是三位大师 |
| [03:24] | They will teach you | 他们会教你 |
| [03:26] | the three mighty virtues of slapistry. | 耳光术的三大法门 |
| [03:29] | Speed. | 速度 |
| [03:31] | Strength. | 力量 |
| [03:33] | And accuracy. | 和精准度 |
| [03:36] | Put these three virtues together, | 精通了这三大法门 |
| [03:39] | and only then will you have mastered | 你就能掌握 |
| [03:41] | the Slap of a Million Exploding Suns. | 百万爆日掌 |
| [03:46] | I’m sorry to interrupt, but a second ago, | 容我插个嘴 就在刚才 |
| [03:49] | wasn’t it the Slap of a Thousand Exploding Suns? | 不还只是爆日千裂掌吗 |
| [03:51] | -Pretty sure I said a million, guys? -I heard a million. | -明明是百万 对吧 -就是百万啊 |
| [03:54] | He said a million. One million. | 百万伏掌 一字不差 |
| [03:55] | So I went to Shanghai… | 于是我去了上海 |
| [03:57] | You didn’t go to Shanghai. | 你肯定没去过上海 |
| [03:58] | I went to Shanghai. | 我去了上海 |
| [03:59] | When did you go to Shanghai? | 你什么时候去的 |
| [04:00] | Last year I went to Shanghai. | 我去年去的上海 |
| [04:01] | You didn’t go to Shanghai. | 你根本没去上海 |
| [04:02] | He went to Shanghai. | 他去上海了 |
| [04:03] | -He didn’t go to Shanghai. -Totally went to Shanghai. | -他根本没去上海 -他绝对去上海了 |
| [04:05] | You didn’t go to Shanghai. | 你根本没去上海 |
| [04:05] | So I went to Shanghai. | 所以我去了上海 |
| [04:07] | In search of the first master. | 去寻找第一位大师 |
| [04:13] | Are you Red Bird? | 您是朱雀大师吗 |
| [04:21] | 朱雀大师的魔鬼训练 | |
| [04:21] | Okay, enough. | 好了 够了 |
| [04:24] | I know you’re trying to freak me out. | 看出来了 你想把我逼疯 |
| [04:25] | But like I said, it’s not working. | 但哥说了 没有用的 |
| [04:27] | So I will give you much gold | 所以我还是给你点金子 |
| [04:29] | to stop wasting my time. | 少来浪费我的时间吧 |
| [04:31] | Hold that thought, I just want to see if can fix this. | 等下 我看看能不能把它修好 |
| [04:43] | The Slap of Ten Million/500/Three Billion Exploding Suns/Stars! | -千万爆日掌 -五百爆日掌 -三兆爆星掌 |
| [04:48] | Whoops. | 一不小心 |
| [04:59] | Relax, I’m not gonna slap you right now. | 放心 我又不会现在扇你 |
| [05:03] | When I slap you, it shall be beneath a willow tree | 当我扇你的时候 我会在杨柳荫下 |
| [05:06] | next to four women and a tiger. | 在四个女人和一只老虎的旁边 |
| [05:10] | A willow tree, four women and a tiger? | 一棵柳树 四个女人和一只老虎 |
| [05:12] | What are you talking about? | 你在说什么啊 |
| [05:14] | Who said anything about a willow tree, four women and a tiger? | 谁说一棵柳树 四个女人和一只老虎的事了 |
| [05:17] | -Guys? -Nobody. | -对吧 -没人说啊 |
| [05:18] | -A tiger? -You were totally silent just now. | -一只老虎 -刚才没人说话啊 |
| [05:20] | But Marshall just said that! | 但是马修刚刚才说的 |
| [05:22] | What is going on? | 到底怎么啦 |
| [05:23] | How did you do that to the jukebox? | 你对那个点唱机做了什么 |
| [05:26] | Wait, it’s fake. | 等下 那个是假的吧 |
| [05:28] | That’s a prop jukebox, | 那是个道具点唱机 |
| [05:30] | designed just to mess with me. | 就是为了吓唬我设计的 |
| [05:32] | Marshall, that jukebox cost eight grand. | 马修 那个点唱机值8000块钱呢 |
| [05:36] | I have much gold. | 我有很多金子 |
| [05:40] | Huh, that is much. | 嗯 的确很多 |
| [05:43] | You got lucky, Eriksen. | 算你走运 艾瑞克森 |
| [05:45] | I don’t like this! | 我不喜欢这样 |
| [05:47] | I thought that nothing I said or did | 还以为不管我说什么或者做什么 |
| [05:49] | could intimidate you anymore. | 你都不觉得是威胁了呢 |
| [05:50] | That’s right. | 是的 |
| [05:52] | It can’t. | 的确不会 |
| [05:56] | Itch. | 好痒 |
| [05:57] | Look. | 这样吧 |
| [05:58] | If you’re really nervous, | 如果你真的很紧张 |
| [06:00] | don’t think of it as a slap. | 就别把它当作一个耳光 |
| [06:01] | -Think of it as a high five. -Okay. | -就把它当作一次击掌 -好 |
| [06:04] | For your stupid face. | 击在你的大傻脸上的而已 |
| [06:06] | So, anyway, I’m in the noodle house… | 我接着说 我在面馆里… |
| [06:07] | I’ll admit. | 我不得不承认 |
| [06:08] | I didn’t expect Red Bird, | 我没觉得朱雀 |
| [06:09] | Master of Speed, to be a girl. | 速度大师 会是个女孩子 |
| [06:13] | You sure you really know how to…? | 你确定你真的知道怎么… |
| [06:15] | What is the sound of one hand slapping? | 一记耳光会是什么声音呢 |
| [06:17] | I’m sorry, I don’t understa… | 对不起 我没… |
| [06:22] | Wait, how did you…? | 等下 你怎么… |
| [06:27] | Lucky shot, I wasn’t ready… | 算你走运 我都没准备… |
| [06:31] | You know, that tip isn’t a full 20%… | 你知道吗 那个小费还没到20%… |
| [06:31] | 在美国人的偏见中 中国人给的小费少 | |
| [06:36] | Train me, Red Bird. | 训练我吧 朱雀大师 |
| [06:37] | Teach me speed. | 传授我速度的秘诀吧 |
| [06:39] | No. | 不 |
| [06:40] | I retired long ago. | 我退隐很久了 |
| [06:42] | Retired? You’re like, 32. | 退休了吗 你看起来也就32岁啊 |
| [06:44] | I am 86 years old. | 我都86了 |
| [06:46] | But slapping is now | 但是扇耳光已经 |
| [06:48] | a part of my past. | 是我过去的一部分了 |
| [06:49] | Darn, I really wanted to slap Barney Stinson. | 妈蛋 我真的很想扇巴尼•斯丁森 |
| [06:53] | This is to slap Barney Stinson? | 你要扇巴尼•斯丁森耳光 |
| [06:54] | Yeah, okay. | 行 好啊 |
| [06:56] | I’ll totally teach you. | 我一定教你 |
| [06:58] | And so began my training. | 于是我开始了我的训练 |
| [07:00] | Slap this tree. | 扇这棵树 |
| [07:04] | Slap the tree? | 扇这棵树吗 |
| [07:05] | If you can. | 如果你可以的话 |
| [07:09] | I mean… | 我是说… |
| [07:11] | Seems pretty easy. | 看起来很简单啊 |
| [07:17] | Ooh! | 噢 |
| [07:18] | What the…? | 怎么回… |
| [07:21] | Ooh! | 噢 |
| [07:23] | The fabled Slapping Tree of Gongqing Forest. | 传说中的共青森林里的耳光树 |
| [07:28] | Beg your pardon. | 你说什么 |
| [07:29] | The “Fabled Slapping Tree | 传说中的共青森林 |
| [07:31] | -of Gongqing Forest”? -Sure. | -耳光树 -当然 |
| [07:34] | -Really? “Fabled”. -Mmm. | -真的 传说中的 -嗯 |
| [07:36] | ‘Cause I’ve never heard of it. | 因为我没听说过 |
| [07:38] | I’m pretty sure everybody’s heard of it. | 我倒觉得是所有人都听说过啊 |
| [07:39] | -Guys? -Yup. | -你们说呢 -听说过 |
| [07:40] | -Totally, yeah. -I backpacked there in college. | -绝对的 听过 -我大学期间去那里自助游过 |
| [07:41] | See? | 你看 |
| [07:42] | Fabled. It even inspired | 很有传奇色彩 它甚至启发了 |
| [07:44] | a popular Chinese children’s book. | 一本很流行的中国儿童书 |
| [07:47] | It’s a poignant parable | 这是一个凄美的寓言 |
| [07:49] | whose message, is if you love someone, set them free. | 大概传达的就是 如果你爱某个人 就让他们自由 |
| [07:53] | But not before first | 但是让他们自由之前 |
| [07:54] | slapping them right in their stupid face. | 先狠狠抽一大嘴巴子 |
| [07:58] | As my training continued, | 在我训练的同时 |
| [08:00] | I also learned the delicate art of Chinese painting. | 我也学会了精湛的中国国画艺术 |
| [08:05] | That looks nothing like this bowl of fruit! | 这跟果盘完全不像啊 |
| [08:09] | My training went on for a year. | 我训练了一年 |
| [08:10] | -A year? -A year. | -一年吗 -一年 |
| [08:12] | One year? None of us noticed | 一整年 我们没人注意到 |
| [08:14] | you were stuck in Shanghai for a year? | 你在上海待了整整一年 |
| [08:16] | I wasn’t being held slaptive, | 我不是被扇的不敢走 |
| [08:18] | I chose to stay and complete my training. | 我选择了留下来 完成我的训练 |
| [08:20] | I’m not even gonna… | 我实在是无力… |
| [08:23] | Just, whatever. | 你就 随便吧 |
| [08:25] | You have shown great slaptitude, young one. | 你的耳光水准已经达到了一定高度 年轻人 |
| [08:28] | You are ready for your final test. | 现在到了终极测试的时候了 |
| [08:30] | Slap me. | 扇我 |
| [08:32] | What? | 什么 |
| [08:33] | Slap me, now! | 扇我 快点 |
| [08:34] | No, Red Bird, I can’t. | 不 朱雀大师 我不能 |
| [08:36] | Slap me that is not a request. | 扇我 这可不是什么请求 |
| [08:38] | I won’t! | 我不能 |
| [08:38] | The Vikings will never | 维京队永远都拿不到 |
| [08:39] | win the Super Bo… | 超级碗冠军 |
| [08:42] | Wait, how did you…? | 等下 你怎么… |
| [08:44] | Lucky shot. | 算你走运 |
| [08:45] | I wasn’t re… | 我还没准… |
| [08:46] | That’s a big tip. | 出手真大方啊 |
| [08:47] | You must have much gold. | 你带了不少金子吧 |
| [08:50] | You are ready for your final step. | 你可以进入最后一步了 |
| [08:53] | Awesome! Oh, man! | 太棒了 哦天啊 |
| [08:55] | I can’t wait to slap Barney Stinson | 我恨不得现在就赏巴尼•斯丁森一耳光 |
| [08:57] | right across his stupid fa… | 力道狠劲正中傻脸 |
| [09:02] | What? What did I say? | 咋回事 我说错什么了 |
| [09:04] | You must not slap anyone until your training is complete. | 在训练结束前你不能去扇任何人 |
| [09:07] | The consequences could be dire. | 否则后果不堪设想 |
| [09:10] | First, you must meet White Flower, | 首先 你要去拜见白百合 |
| [09:13] | the second master, who will teach you strength. | 也就是第二位大师 她会训练你力量 |
| [09:16] | She lives atop a mountain. | 她住在一座山顶上 |
| [09:18] | Which mountain? | 哪座山 |
| [09:19] | No, not Witch Mountain. | 不 不是什么女巫山 |
| [09:19] | 哪个 和 女巫 同音 | |
| [09:22] | Slap Mountain. | 耳光山 |
| [09:24] | Hate to cut in again here, but… | 实在是不想打断你啊 但是… |
| [09:27] | -Slap Mountain? -That’s right. | -有没有搞错啊 耳光山 -没错 |
| [09:30] | You’re claiming there’s a mountain in China | 你是说中国有一座山 |
| [09:32] | in the exact shape of a hand? | 形状跟手掌一模一样 |
| [09:34] | Everyone knows that. | 人尽皆知啊 |
| [09:35] | -Right, guys? -True. | -大家说是吧 -没错 |
| [09:36] | -Totally. -I backpacked there in college. | -当然了 -我上大学的时候还去爬过 |
| [09:38] | 恶搞自阿巴拉契亚山脉 | |
| [09:38] | It’s the largest of the Slappalachian Mountains. | 他是耳光山脉中最高的一座 |
| [09:42] | And at the top… | 在山顶上 |
| [09:47] | Excuse me? | 打扰一下 |
| [09:49] | Uh, do you know where I can find White Flower? | 请问白百合大师在哪里 |
| [09:52] | How dare you speak that name? | 你怎么敢说出那个名字 |
| [09:55] | That is the most feared name in 40 villages! | 那个名字是附近40个村子的恶梦啊 |
| [09:58] | Really? “White Flower”? | 你确定吗 “白百合” |
| [10:01] | I’m sorry, it’s just, it’s not exactly Voldemort. | 对不起啊 只是 这又不是伏地魔什么的 |
| [10:03] | Bro! | 哥们啊 |
| [10:04] | Why don’t yo just say “Candyman” | 你说个三次”甜心宝贝” |
| [10:05] | three times and be done with it? | 大家伙不就懂了吗 |
| [10:07] | Geez! | 天啊 |
| [10:14] | 复仇打击课程 白百合 | |
| [10:22] | Awesome! | 太赞了 |
| [10:24] | Can-can you teach me how to do that? | 您能教教我那招吗 |
| [10:26] | No, I retired from teaching long ago. | 不 我很久以前就隐退了 不再传授 |
| [10:29] | Retired? You’re like, 32. | 隐退吗 你也就32岁吧 |
| [10:30] | I am 106 years old. | 我106岁了 |
| [10:33] | What is in these noodles? | 这都吃的什么回春面啊 |
| [10:35] | I’m sorry, but my slapping days are over. | 不好意思 扇巴掌的日子已经离我远去了 |
| [10:37] | Darn, I really wanted | 该死 我实在是 |
| [10:39] | this next Barney Stinson slap to be special. | 太想给巴尼•斯丁森一个十分特别的巴掌 |
| [10:43] | -This is to slap Barney Stinson? -Mmm. | -你是要扇巴尼•斯丁森吗 -嗯 |
| [10:44] | Yeah, okay, I’ll totally teach you. | 好呀没问题 我来教你 |
| [10:49] | The true power of any slap | 每个巴掌里蕴含的真正力量 |
| [10:51] | comes from the anger behind it. | 来自于它背后的怒火 |
| [10:53] | So for a truly devastating slap, | 所以为了扇出毁灭性的一巴掌 |
| [10:56] | you must harvest the anger of many. | 你必须要收集愤怒之元气 |
| [10:59] | Every times omeone who hates Barney slaps you in the face, | 每当一个恨着巴尼•斯丁森的人扇你一巴掌 |
| [11:03] | the power of their anger goes from your face | 她们的愤怒就会从你火热的面颊 |
| [11:07] | into your hand. | 传入你的手掌 |
| [11:11] | White Flower and I made love that night in the forest. | 那天晚上 我和白百合在树林里面做爱了 |
| [11:13] | No, sorry. Flag on the play. | 不可能 不好意思 你这犯规了 |
| [11:16] | You banged White Flower? | 你上了白百合吗 |
| [11:17] | I made love to White Flower. | 我和白百合做爱了 |
| [11:20] | And then I banged her. | 然后我上了她 |
| [11:22] | In the forest? | 在树林里 |
| [11:23] | In Gongqing Forest, yes. | 在共青树林中 没错 |
| [11:25] | Actually right near the Slapping Tree. | 就在耳光树旁边 |
| [11:28] | Which may or may not have come into play. | 它好像时不时的也加入了我们 |
| [11:31] | Oh, my God, you had a tree-way? | 天啊 你来了一次树の3P啊 |
| [11:34] | And, Lily, you were okay with Marshall having an affair? | 莉莉 马修出轨了你不生气吗 |
| [11:37] | What happens in the magical Gongqing Forest | 在神秘的共青森林里发生的事情 |
| [11:39] | stays in the magical Gongqing Forest. | 就让它留在神秘的共青森林里吧 |
| [11:41] | Best wife ever. | 真是完美老婆 |
| [11:44] | Like I was saying, | 就像我之前说的那样 |
| [11:45] | you need to harvest the anger | 你需要收集别人的怒火 |
| [11:47] | of others into your own slap. | 化为自己的巴掌 |
| [11:49] | Now, dig deep. | 现在 仔细想想 |
| [11:50] | Can you think of anyone, | 能不能想到有谁 |
| [11:52] | anyone at all | 任何人都行 |
| [11:54] | who hates Barney Stinson? | 对巴尼•斯丁森有着深仇大恨 |
| [12:00] | I know, I know, I almost couldn’t get through it | 我知道 我差点没办法 |
| [12:02] | with a straight face! | 板着脸说完这段 |
| [12:04] | There are just so many people | 恨巴尼的人 |
| [12:06] | who hate Barney’s guts! | 真是数也数不清 |
| [12:10] | Moving on. | 够了没 |
| [12:13] | The point is, you need to go get slapped in the face | 也就是说 你要让一大堆巴尼上过的无脑女 |
| [12:16] | by a bunch of gullible chicks Barney banged. | 通通赏你一巴掌 |
| [12:18] | I’m a friend of Barney Stinson. | 我是巴尼•斯丁森的朋友 |
| [12:20] | I’m a friend of Barney Stins… | 我是巴尼•斯丁森的朋… |
| [12:22] | I-I’m-I’m a friend of Barney Stinson. | 我是 我是巴尼•斯丁森的朋友 |
| [12:25] | I’m so sorry. | 不好意思 |
| [12:26] | I thought you said you were | 我以为你说的是 |
| [12:27] | a friend of Barney Stinson. | 你是巴尼•斯丁森的朋友 |
| [12:28] | I did. | 我是这么说的 |
| [12:35] | Could you… also… | 你 能不能 顺便 |
| [12:38] | slap me in the face? | 赏我一巴掌 |
| [12:41] | God, you’re just as perverted as Barney. | 天啊 你简直跟巴尼一样变态 |
| [12:47] | And after a while… | 说时迟那时快 |
| [12:54] | Look at this thing– it’s all hot and glowy! | 你快看我手啊 热辣锃亮啊 |
| [12:56] | I’ll never have cold pizza again! | 我这辈子都不用再吃凉匹萨了 |
| [12:59] | I’ll never have cold pizza again. | 我这辈子都不能再吃凉匹萨了 |
| [13:01] | Silence! | 安静 |
| [13:02] | Sorry, White Flower. | 对不起 白百合 |
| [13:04] | I’ve just got a slappetite for destruction. | 只是 真的有个人等着我去一巴掌扇死 |
| [13:05] | Thanks for everything! | 感谢你教我的一切 |
| [13:06] | I’m gonna go slap Barney Stinson | 我这就去扇巴尼•斯丁森 |
| [13:08] | right in his stupid face! | 力道狠劲正中傻脸 |
| [13:09] | Wait, first you must go learn accuracy | 慢着 在你扇巴尼之前 你必须 |
| [13:12] | from the one who is called The Calligrapher | 向一个叫书法家的人学习精准度 |
| [13:14] | in the far-off, mystical land of… | 他隐居的遥远的神秘国度 叫做 |
| [13:18] | 克利夫兰 | |
| [13:19] | -Cleveland? -Cleveland. | -克利夫兰吗 -对 克利夫兰 |
| [13:21] | Why Cleveland? | 为什么是克利夫兰 |
| [13:22] | It’s the city equivalent | 因为这城市本身 |
| [13:23] | of being slapped in the face. | 就是正中面门的大嘴巴子 |
| [13:25] | Bro. | 不是吧哥们儿 |
| [13:26] | Man, is this place a chain or something? | 好么 这地方是连锁的还是怎么的 |
| [13:29] | One for dinner? | 客官您一个人吗 |
| [13:30] | No, I’m here to meet her. | 不 我来这里是为了找她 |
| [13:34] | Bro. | 拜托人家是男生啦 |
| [13:38] | 在有些人看来是吹毛求疵但却是十分周全有效的 书法家训练 | |
| [13:42] | Can you teach me accuracy? | 您能教我精准度吗 |
| [13:43] | I can. | 我当然能 |
| [13:45] | The proper question is: will I? | 你该问的问题是 我愿不愿意 |
| [13:47] | Grammar is the first step | 在修炼精准度的千里长路上 |
| [13:49] | on the thousand-mile journey to accuracy. | 语法是第一步 |
| [13:52] | I’m, uh, assuming there’s no Mrs. The Calligrapher? | 我猜 您是不是还没有妻室 |
| [13:56] | The path I’ve chosen is lonesome. | 孤独乃吾之路 |
| [13:58] | But it’s no big deal. | 不过这都不叫事儿 |
| [14:00] | I prefer being alone, I really do. | 我更愿意一个人生活 真的 |
| [14:02] | Unless you know any single ladies | 不过你要是有什么单身适龄女青年 |
| [14:03] | you-you-you could set me up with. | 能 能 能介绍给我 那就另当别论了 |
| [14:05] | -Nope. -Good, because I prefer being alone. | -没有 -好的 因为我真的喜欢一个人呆着 |
| [14:08] | Also I’m sorry, | 另外 很抱歉 |
| [14:10] | but I retired from teaching long ago. | 我退隐山林已经很久了 |
| [14:13] | Retired? You’re like, 35. | 退休了吗 您看起来也就35岁啊 |
| [14:15] | I’m 34. | 人家明明只有34岁好吗 |
| [14:17] | Oh, sorry. | 啊…不好意思 |
| [14:18] | I use moisturizer every night. | 我每晚都搽保湿霜的 |
| [14:20] | I thought my skin still looked vibrant. | 我还以为我的肌肤依旧吹弹可破 |
| [14:22] | It does, it does. | 没错 依旧吹弹可破 |
| [14:23] | Look, uh, I’m just… | 听我说 我只是 |
| [14:25] | I’m really just here to finish my training, | 我真的需要你来帮我完成我的训练 |
| [14:27] | um, so, the, uh, look, the truth is, | 所以 那个 你看 其实 |
| [14:29] | I have a divorced cousin just outside of Akron. | 我有个离了婚的表妹 刚刚离开亚克朗市 |
| [14:32] | Now, I wouldn’t call Janice easy on the eyes– | 我吧 倒不是说詹尼斯有多让人赏心悦目 |
| [14:35] | or the springs of a bathroom scale– | 或者如沐春风 |
| [14:38] | but if you want, I could set you up. | 但是如果你想的话 我可以给你们撮合撮合 |
| [14:40] | Sold! Now, the most important lesson | 哦了 那 关于精准度 |
| [14:42] | in learning accuracy… | 最重要的一课就是… |
| [14:49] | He was dying right before my eyes. | 他就在我面前 命悬一线 |
| [14:52] | So I did the only thing that I could think to do. | 所以当时除了那样做 我别无选择 |
| [14:55] | Please! | 拜托帮帮忙 |
| [14:57] | I slapped his back. | 我一巴掌拍上了他的后背 |
| [14:59] | And that’s when I found out why | 那一刻我才真正明白 |
| [15:00] | “No slapping until your training is complete” | 为何”训练未成不可扇人” |
| [15:03] | is the most important rule. | 是最重要的法则 |
| [15:05] | Because my slap… | 因为我那一巴掌 |
| [15:06] | was too powerful. | 威力超乎想象 |
| [15:09] | I hadn’t learned accuracy | 我没有学习精准度 |
| [15:12] | and so I couldn’t control it. | 所以我无法控制我的功力 |
| [15:14] | And, well… | 于是乎… |
| [15:25] | No! | 不 |
| [15:28] | Stop it! Just stop! | 打住 快打住 |
| [15:30] | You did not slap the heart out of a man’s body! | 你才没有一巴掌把一个人的心脏都扇出来 |
| [15:33] | If only that were true. | 我倒真的希望我没有 |
| [15:35] | You’re saying that you committed a murder? | 你的意思是 你杀了人 |
| [15:38] | I was trying to save him! | 我那是在救他 |
| [15:40] | Shh, baby, it’s okay, you didn’t mean to. | 嘘 宝贝 没事的 你不是有意的 |
| [15:42] | He doesn’t sleep. | 他连觉都睡不着 |
| [15:43] | -You got to move on. -You were only trying to help. | -往事不堪回首 -你只是想帮他而已 |
| [15:44] | You’re making this whole story up. | 你丫就编吧 |
| [15:46] | I wish that I were. | 我倒真的希望这都是我编的 |
| [15:48] | Because of the tragedy, | 因为这场惨剧 |
| [15:50] | I never got to finish my training. | 导致了我再也没机会完成我的训练 |
| [15:51] | I never learned accuracy. | 我再也没机会学习精准度 |
| [15:54] | Because of that, I shall remain… | 也正是因此 我这辈子 |
| [15:57] | forever… | 都只是个 |
| [15:59] | a mere slapprentice. | 耳光学徒 |
| [16:02] | What does that mean, baby? | 此话怎讲 宝贝 |
| [16:04] | Here’s what it meant. | 此话这样讲 |
| [16:15] | Damn it! | 他奶奶的 |
| [16:18] | Please! Somebody! | 来人啊 有人吗 |
| [16:21] | Help me! | 救命啊 |
| [16:22] | There’s a crazy guy trying to slap me and he’s… | 有个疯子要扇我 他… |
| [16:26] | Oh, my God. | 我的天哪 |
| [16:28] | Four women. | 四个女人 |
| [16:30] | And a willow tree. | 一棵杨柳 |
| [16:33] | At least there’s no tiger. | 还好没有老虎 |
| [16:36] | Oh, my God. | 天哪 |
| [16:38] | Is that… half a tiger? | 那是不是…半只老虎 |
| [16:41] | You got here early. | 你来早了 |
| [16:46] | It’s time. | 是时候了 |
| [16:47] | But you never completed your training. | 但是你并没有完成训练啊 |
| [16:50] | Actually… | 其实呢 |
| [16:52] | Listen to me. I must speak fast. | 你听好了 我必须讲很快 |
| [16:54] | Once you’ve had your heart slapped out of your body, | 心脏一旦被扇出体外 |
| [16:56] | you’ve only got 10, 15 minutes to live, max. | 你只有大概十分钟 顶多十五分钟可活了 |
| [16:58] | -Sure. -The trick to accuracy | -没问题 -精准度的诀窍 |
| [17:01] | is to, like, try to be really accurate. | 在于呢 尽量做到真的精准 |
| [17:03] | Okay? Don’t just slap. | 懂吗 不要只是扇过去 |
| [17:05] | Like, like, really try to aim. | 你得 真正的去瞄准 懂不 |
| [17:07] | Look where you’re slapping, that’s important. | 看好你要扇哪儿 这是关键 |
| [17:09] | And then try to slap that spot | 然后呢 试着扇那个点 |
| [17:12] | instead of some other spot. | 别去扇别的地方 |
| [17:15] | Well, I guess that’s pretty much it. | 嗯 差不多就这些了 |
| [17:16] | You can slap people now. | 你现在可以扇人了 |
| [17:22] | He’s gone. | 他死了 |
| [17:23] | One other thing. | 还有一点啊 |
| [17:24] | Cleveland has a lot to offer. | 克利夫兰其实挺地大物博的 |
| [17:26] | Be sure to check out the James A. Garfield Monument. | 一定要去看看詹姆斯•A•加菲尔德纪念碑啊 |
| [17:29] | Um, I mean, sure, he was only president for four months | 虽然呢 他只当了四个月的总统 |
| [17:31] | before he was assassinated, | 就被暗杀了 |
| [17:33] | but if you get up to the top, you can see almost for 30 miles. | 但是你登顶之后呢 能看到三十英里的景色呢 |
| [17:35] | As long as the steel factory’s not smelting. | 不过得是钢铁厂没在熔炼排烟的时候 |
| [17:41] | He’s gone. | 他死了 |
| [17:42] | No, like I said, 10, 15 minutes. | 没呢 我说过了 十到十五分钟嘛 |
| [17:47] | Oh, God, this is awkward. | 天 这还挺尴尬的啊 |
| [17:49] | Yeah, yeah. | 是啊 |
| [17:50] | It’s like when you’re saying good-bye to someone, | 就好像你正跟人道别 |
| [17:52] | and then you realize you’re both heading in the same direction. | 却发现你俩往一个方向走 |
| [17:54] | It’s like, what do we, what do we | 然后就…怎么办呢 |
| [17:55] | we say good-bye again or…? | 我们再道别一次还是怎么着 |
| [17:57] | Right… | 没错 |
| [17:59] | He’s gone. | 他死了 |
| [18:03] | Wait, are you just pretending so it’ll be less awkward? | 等下 你是不是在假死来避免尴尬啊 |
| [18:07] | Should I just, like, go? | 那我是不是该走了之类的 |
| [18:09] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [18:17] | My training is complete. | 我的训练完成了 |
| [18:21] | I’m ready. | 我准备好了 |
| [18:25] | I’m ready, too. | 我也准备好了 |
| [18:28] | I love you. | 我爱你 |
| [18:29] | Enough to take this slap for me? | 爱到可以替我挨扇吗 |
| [18:30] | No. | 那倒没有 |
| [19:07] | That’s four! | 第四个 |
| [19:08] | All right! Yeah! Oh! | 哦耶 |
| [19:10] | Good one, you got me that time, bro. | 不错啊 你当时还真唬到我了 兄弟 |
| [19:12] | Yeah, right? Hey, only one slap left. | 是吧是吧 对了 还差一个 |
| [19:13] | Crazy! Where did the time go? | 过得真快啊 时间都去哪儿了 |
| [19:14] | I know, it’s, like, uh, slow down, life. | 对啊 时光时光慢些吧 |
| [19:18] | Hey, was that a fake jukebox? | 所以 那是个假的点唱机吧 |
| [19:20] | -Yeah, yeah, fake jukebox. -Nice, nice. | -嗯哪 是假的点唱机 -不错不错 |
| [19:21] | All right. | 好啦 |
| [19:23] | -You okay? -Yeah? Yeah, yeah, good. | -你没事吧 -嗯嗯 没事的啦 |
| [19:26] | Ladies and gentlemen, Boyz II Men. | 女士们先生们 欢迎Boyz II Men组合 |
| [19:34] | What is this feeling | * 这滋味如何 * |
| [19:37] | That’s put you in your place? | * 迫使你清醒 * |
| [19:41] | A hot red burning on the side of your face | * 滚烫与血红在你脸上烙印 * |
| [19:48] | Feel the blood rush to your cheek | * 你是否感觉热血窜涌脸颊 * |
| [19:51] | Tears start to fill your eyes | * 泪水夺眶而出 * |
| [19:55] | Your lips are trembling, but you can’t speak | * 嘴唇也开始颤抖 但你无言以对 * |
| [19:59] | You’re trying, oh | * 虽然你已尽力 * |
| [20:01] | You’re trying not to cry | * 噢 已尽全力 不哭出来 * |
| [20:05] | You just got slapped | * 你刚刚被扇了 * |
| [20:10] | Across the face, my friend | * 正中脸颊 我的朋友 * |
| [20:12] | Yeah, you just got slapped | * 你刚刚被扇了 * |
| [20:15] | Oh, yes. It really just happened | * 没错 那千真万确 * |
| [20:21] | Oh, everybody saw it– ha! | * 大家亲眼见证 * |
| [20:25] | And everybody laughed and clapped | * 大家鼓掌欢笑 * |
| [20:28] | Ooh, everybody saw it | * 大家亲眼见证 * |
| [20:31] | Ha! And everybody laughed and clapped | * 大家鼓掌欢笑 * |
| [20:36] | ‘Cause it was awesome So awesome | * 简直帅呆了 简直太赞了 * |
| [20:42] | The way that you just got slapped | * 你刚刚被扇了 * |
| [20:57] | One more. | 再来一个 |