| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:00] | Okay, it’s over. | 好了 这阵过去了 |
| [00:02] | Starting the clock, now. | 开始计时 |
| [00:06] | -Labor sucks, huh? -Yeah. | -生孩子很痛吧 -那当然 |
| [00:09] | That fun-sounding name? | 那个听起来很有意思的名字 |
| [00:10] | It’s totally misleading. | 其实根本不是那么回事 |
| [00:13] | Better have this baby soon. | 这孩子最好还是早点出生吧 |
| [00:14] | You know my mom’s rule: | 你知道我妈是怎么说的吗 |
| [00:16] | Nothing good happens after 2:00 a.M. | 凌晨两点之后 准没好事发生 |
| [00:18] | I don’t buy it. | 我不信 |
| [00:19] | Just like I don’t buy what her son told me: | 我也不信她儿子说的 |
| [00:22] | Let’s go away for one last weekend before the baby comes. | “在孩子出生前再共度一个周末吧” |
| [00:24] | We’ll be fine! | “一定不会出事的” |
| [00:26] | Well, I hate to point fingers, | 不是我想推卸责任 |
| [00:28] | but you should never listen to me. | 但是你本来就不该听我的话 |
| [00:30] | You know that. | 你该知道的 |
| [00:31] | That’s my bad. | 是我的错 |
| [00:34] | Oh! | 噢 |
| [00:36] | -Here comes another one. -Already? | -又宫缩一次 -这么快吗 |
| [00:37] | -Yeah. Yeah yep. -Okay, okay, okay. | -对 -好 |
| [00:38] | We should get you to the hospital. Come on. | 我们现在就得去医院了 快走 |
| [00:40] | Okay. | 好 |
| [00:41] | 远汉普顿旅馆 2017年 | |
| [00:41] | Oh, here we go. | 抓着我的手 |
| [00:46] | 远汉普顿旅馆 今日 | |
| [00:49] | You guys can’t still see where Marshall slapped me, can you? | 我的脸看不出来被马修扇过了吧 是吗 |
| [00:51] | Your face looks like a “Don’t walk” Signal. | 你的脸就是一个”此处禁止通行”的告示 |
| [00:54] | Your face looks like a photo negative | 你的脸就像汉堡小助手盒子上 |
| [00:55] | of the Hamburger Helper box. | 小手标志的底片一样 |
| [00:57] | A palm reader could tell Marshall’s future by studying your face. | 看手相的能从你的脸上 看出马修的未来运势 |
| [01:00] | The phrase “Talk to the hand ’cause the face ain’t listening” | “我不想听你讲话 跟我的手说去” |
| [01:02] | doesn’t work for you | 这招你没法用了 |
| [01:03] | because the hand is on your face. | 因为你脸上有一个手印 |
| [01:05] | A simple “Yes” would’ve sufficed. | 一句”是”就够了 |
| [01:09] | Oh, baby, I missed you so much. | 亲爱的 我快想死你了 |
| [01:12] | I am so angry! | 我快被你气死了 |
| [01:13] | I am gonna tear you apart tonight. | 今晚让我好好跟你撕扯 |
| [01:16] | I am gonna tear you apart tonight! | 今晚老娘要撕了你 |
| [01:17] | Okay, okay. | 好啦 好啦 |
| [01:19] | Look, we said that we wouldn’t fight | 我们不是说好了吗 |
| [01:20] | until the gang was all done hanging out, remember? | 等大家今晚散了以后再吵 记得吗 |
| [01:23] | Ever since Lily heard that Marshall | 自从莉莉听说 |
| [01:25] | had accepted an offer to be a judge, | 马修接下了做法官的工作 |
| [01:27] | thus jeopardizing their planned year in Italy, | 也就是说去意大利的计划就泡汤了 |
| [01:29] | they both knew a big fight was coming. | 他们俩都知道一场大战在所难免 |
| [01:31] | But when they finally saw each other… | 但是当他们终于相见的时候 |
| [01:34] | Pause? | 暂停吧 |
| [01:36] | Pause. | 暂停 |
| [01:37] | See, Lily and Marshall had a long tradition | 你看 莉莉和马修有一个传统 |
| [01:39] | of hitting “Pause” On their arguments. | 吵架的时候按暂停 |
| [01:41] | Sometimes they paused because | 有时候暂停是因为 |
| [01:43] | they suddenly had other things to do. | 他们突然有别的事要做 |
| [01:45] | We have to stick to our budget! Okay? | 过日子得按着预算来 明白吗 |
| [01:47] | You cannot be out there buying all these | 你不能把钱都花在 |
| [01:49] | Brazilian bikini waxes | 巴西式比基尼除毛 |
| [01:51] | and Kama Sutra body oils | 印度神油 |
| [01:53] | and edible… Pause. | 和可食的… 暂停 |
| [01:56] | Sometimes, they paused to keep their fights | 有时 他们暂停是为了 |
| [01:58] | from subtly changing subjects. | 防止争论主题跑偏 |
| [02:00] | Baby, I cannot put up with | 亲爱的 我不能接受 |
| [02:01] | your shoes being all over the house! | 你把鞋到处乱扔 |
| [02:03] | Why not? I put up with your terrible mother. | 凭什么 我就能接受你的恶毒老妈 |
| [02:06] | -Pause! -Pause. | -暂停 -暂停 |
| [02:08] | And now that they were paused, | 现在他们处于暂停状态 |
| [02:09] | Marshall realized he would do anything | 马修意识到 只要能继续保持暂停状态 |
| [02:11] | to stay paused for as long as he could. | 他愿意付出任何代价 |
| [02:14] | Okay, time to go to bed. | 好了 该睡觉了 |
| [02:15] | Big day tomorrow. | 明天可是大日子 |
| [02:16] | -Big day tomorrow! -Big day tomorrow! | -明天是大日子 -大日子 |
| [02:17] | Screw tomorrow! | 别等明天了 |
| [02:18] | We go big tonight, huh? | 我们今晚就嗨到底 怎么样 |
| [02:20] | -We go big tonight! -We go big tonight! | -我们今晚就嗨到底 -今晚嗨到底 |
| [02:22] | I mean, uh… come on, you know, uh, | 我说 接着玩吧 呃 |
| [02:25] | what time is it, anyway? | 你看现在才几点啊 |
| [02:27] | 周日\N凌晨两点\N \N | |
| [02:28] | 婚礼前16小时 | |
| [02:29] | 周日\N凌晨两点零一分\N \N | |
| [02:44] | Hey, where’s the baby? | 马尔文在哪啊 |
| [02:48] | -The elevator! -The elevator! | -落在电梯里了 -落在电梯里了 |
| [02:51] | Ah, that joke just never gets old. | 这梗真是百玩不烂 |
| [02:52] | And it’s not at all inspired by real-life events. | 而且纯属杜撰 绝无巧合 |
| [02:54] | -No, it is not. -Mm-mm. | -没发生过 -绝对 |
| [02:56] | Anyway, the sitter has Marvin for the night. | 今晚马尔文由保姆照顾 |
| [02:58] | Ooh! | 对了 |
| [03:00] | And now… the best thing | 这趟横穿美国自驾行 |
| [03:02] | to come out of my cross-country trip: | 我可是得到了点好东西 |
| [03:03] | a little segment I like to call | 主题叫做 |
| [03:05] | Embarrassing Souvenirs I Picked Up From Ted’s Childhood Home. | 我从泰德童年房子里搜出来的尴尬纪念品 |
| [03:11] | Totally Awesome Ted. | 泰德帅呆了 |
| [03:15] | What, did you steal this off some other kid named Ted? | 一定是你偷的别家叫泰德的孩子的杯子对不对 |
| [03:17] | I’m just getting warmed up here. | 这还只是热身呢 |
| [03:18] | This is fun. | 真有趣啊 |
| [03:20] | We’re all… you know, it’s… | 我们一起 你懂的 |
| [03:21] | I’m having fun. | 我开心着呢 |
| [03:23] | When you squeeze this toy, a recording of Ted says, | 你要是捏一捏这个小玩偶 泰德的声音会说 |
| [03:25] | I wuv you, Mommy! | 我耐你麻麻 |
| [03:28] | Oh, but that’s sweet! | 多可爱啊 |
| [03:29] | Why would we make fun of him for that? | 这有什么好取笑的 |
| [03:31] | He gave it to her when he was 19. | 因为这是他19岁的时候录的 |
| [03:32] | I wuv you, Mommy. | 我耐你麻麻 |
| [03:36] | And lastly, a photo of young Ted | 最后 一张泰德小时候的照片 |
| [03:39] | and his best friend dressed up like cowboys. | 和他最好的朋友打扮成牛仔的模样 |
| [03:42] | -No -oh, all right. | -不要啊 -噢 好了 |
| [03:43] | Leave him alone. | 放过他吧 |
| [03:45] | His best friend was a balloon. | 他最好的朋友是个气球 |
| [03:46] | I want to see that picture | 我想看这张照片的欲望 |
| [03:47] | more than I want to get married! | 比我想结婚的欲望都强 |
| [03:51] | I hate you so much. | 我恨你一辈子 |
| [03:53] | Oo yah maya stupa koon! | 你个白痴 |
| [03:56] | Ho ho ho! | 吼 吼 吼 |
| [03:58] | Over the years, we’d seen | 这些年 我们看到过 |
| [04:00] | all sorts of levels of Barney’s drunkenness. | 巴尼很多级别的醉酒 |
| [04:02] | How you doin’? | 你最近怎么样 |
| [04:03] | “Richard Dawson drunk…” | 理查德•道森式 |
| [04:05] | Ah, is this your sister? | 啊 这是你妹妹吗 |
| [04:08] | “Big plans with strangers drunk…” | 陌生人计划未来式 |
| [04:09] | Hey! | 嘿 |
| [04:10] | Me and the Road Dawgs | 我和这几个兄弟 |
| [04:12] | going splitsies on a time share in Flint, Michigan! | 要去密歇根的弗林特玩玩去 |
| [04:15] | And… | 然后… |
| [04:17] | non-refundably booked! | 预定成功 不接受退款 |
| [04:19] | Come on! I’m gonna buy you all some mopeds! | 来吧 我给你们买几辆小摩托车 |
| [04:21] | Road Dawgs! | 上路吧哥们 |
| [04:23] | And “Marcel Marceau drunk…” | 还有马塞尔•马索式 |
| [04:27] | But we knew the night was over | 但我们一种情况发生 美好夜晚就结束了 |
| [04:29] | whenever Barney got… “Jabba drunk.” | 那就是巴尼”贾巴式醉酒”的时候 |
| [04:30] | So drunk that his speech | 他醉到言语 |
| [04:32] | bore an uncanny resemblance to that of… | 和在绝地归来里的 |
| [04:34] | Jabba the Hutt from Return of the Jedi. | 赫特人贾巴说的一模一样 |
| [04:38] | Ha ha ha! | 哈 哈 哈 |
| [04:39] | Okay, we have to go to bed. | 好了 我们都该睡觉了 |
| [04:41] | Big day tomorrow. | 明天是大日子呢 |
| [04:42] | -Big day tomorrow! -Noon-eeg Han Solo! | -明天是大日子 -明天大日子 |
| [04:43] | Screw tomorrow! | 别管明天了 |
| [04:45] | Let’s go big tonight! | 今晚就嗨到底 |
| [04:46] | -We go big tonight! -Ah wotto potto tapa ho! | -我们今晚就嗨到底 -今晚嗨到底 |
| [04:48] | No, Marshall, let’s go now. | 不 马修 我们现在就走 |
| [04:51] | Okay, okay, okay, okay. | 好吧 好吧 好吧 好吧 |
| [04:52] | Look, I-I guess we have to do this. | 这样的 我觉得我们得开始了 |
| [04:54] | Okay, first off, I know how important Italy was to you… | 好的 但首先 我知道意大利对你来说有多重要 |
| [04:57] | Shut up and do me! | 闭嘴 干我 |
| [05:01] | Okay, we have to go to bed. | 好啦 我们该睡觉了 |
| [05:04] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [05:06] | Yeah. I need to get | 是啊 我明早得 |
| [05:08] | my ear hair trimmed in the morning. | 把我耳毛剪剪了 |
| [05:10] | It’s like a rain forest in there. | 感觉那里和热带雨林一样 |
| [05:12] | Uh, why would you volunteer that information? | 呃 你怎么就自己说出来了呢 |
| [05:14] | Because it’s the truth. | 因为这是事实啊 |
| [05:16] | Also, I peed a little on my tie at the urinal. | 另外 我在小便池那儿不小心尿领带上了 |
| [05:19] | Uh, Barney… | 哦 巴尼… |
| [05:22] | who’s taller me or you? | 我还是你 谁更高 |
| [05:23] | You’re taller. I wear lifts in all my shoes. | 你更高 我所有鞋子里都加垫了 |
| [05:25] | Oh, my God, Robin… | 噢 天啊 罗宾 |
| [05:27] | Barney has reached a whole new level. | 巴尼到达了一个新境界 |
| [05:29] | He’s “Truth serum drunk.” | 吐真剂式醉酒 |
| [05:31] | He can’t lie. | 他不能说谎 |
| [05:33] | So we can finally get the answers | 所以我们终于可以知道 |
| [05:35] | we’ve always been wondering about. | 我们一直疑虑的答案了 |
| [05:36] | Look, I know you said you had to go to bed, | 这样 我知道你说你想回去睡觉 |
| [05:38] | but I really think… | 但是我真的觉得 |
| [05:39] | Screw tomorrow! | 别管明天了 |
| [05:40] | We go big tonight. | 我们今晚就嗨到底 |
| [05:41] | Yeah. | 好啊 |
| [05:43] | -Hey, buddy. -Hey, buddy. | -嘿 老哥 -嘿 老哥 |
| [05:45] | Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. | 等下 等下 等下 等下 等下 |
| [05:47] | We’re not unpaused? | 我们没有结束暂停 |
| [05:48] | Not yet. | 还没呢 |
| [05:49] | Mama needs some Papa. | 妈妈需要爸爸 |
| [05:51] | But as soon as we’re done having sex, | 但是我们一做完爱 |
| [05:52] | we are having that fight! | 就要开始吵了 |
| [05:53] | Wait, so we’re not gonna fight | 等下 所以 我们… |
| [05:57] | until after we’re done having sex. | 在做完爱之前都不会开始吵架 |
| [06:00] | Challenge accepted. | 接受挑战 |
| [06:04] | Um, so… just, just to be clear, | 嗯 所以…再次确认一下 |
| [06:05] | after we finish having sex, | 我们做爱之后 |
| [06:07] | that’s when we’ll have our fight? | 我们才开始吵架 |
| [06:09] | That’s right. | 你说对了 |
| [06:10] | Excuse me. | 等我一下 |
| [06:18] | Okay, Marshall. | 好的 马修 |
| [06:20] | It’s go time. | 是进击的时候了 |
| [06:21] | You’ve had great nights of sex before, | 之前你有过几个夜晚 十分尽性 |
| [06:23] | most of them with Lily, | 大部分都是跟莉莉 |
| [06:25] | a few by yourself | 有几次是你自己 |
| [06:27] | and we’ll always have that | 我们总会记起 |
| [06:28] | Unscrambled Spice Channel Glitch of ’93– | 93年色情频道出问题那次的精彩表现 |
| [06:31] | but this has got to be the performance of a lifetime. | 但是 这次绝对是人生的终极表演 |
| [06:33] | Jimi Hendrix at Monterey. | 就像吉米•亨德里克斯在蒙特雷表演时 |
| [06:35] | James Brown at the Apollo. | 詹姆斯•布朗在阿波罗演出时 |
| [06:38] | Your law school funk band pretty much anywhere. | 你的法学院乐队在任何场合的时候 |
| [06:40] | So get out there | 所以 走出去 |
| [06:41] | and bang your wife for as long as you possibly can! | 干你老婆 干的越久越好 |
| [06:47] | Not a good sign that I’m already out of breath. | 尽管我现在有点喘不上来气并不是个好兆头 |
| [06:53] | So… Barney will answer any question we ask him with the truth? | 所以…巴尼会诚实回答一切问题吗 |
| [06:59] | I think so. | 我觉得是 |
| [07:00] | Honey… | 亲爱的 |
| [07:02] | when that Bryan Adams song came on the radio, | 当电台播布莱恩•亚当斯的歌时 |
| [07:06] | did two mosquitoes really fly into your eyes at the same time? | 真的有两只蚊子同时飞进你眼睛里吗 |
| [07:09] | No. | 没有 |
| [07:10] | I got all choked up thinking about how | 一想到他所做的一切都是为了她 |
| [07:12] | everything he does, he does it for her. | 我就哽咽了 |
| [07:16] | Checks out. | 测试成功 |
| [07:17] | Okay, what next? | 好 接下来呢 |
| [07:18] | I mean, it’s… | 我是说 这… |
| [07:19] | it’s so hard to know where to begin. | 都不知道该怎么开始才好 |
| [07:21] | I mean, there are so many… | 你看 有这么多的… |
| [07:22] | What did you do to my mom?! | 你到底对我妈妈做了什么 |
| [07:24] | Well, that night, | 嗯 那天晚上 |
| [07:26] | we were in my car… | 我们在我车上 |
| [07:28] | I was wrong! I can’t handle this! | 我错了 我没法承受这个 |
| [07:29] | Uh, just tell me in baseball terms. | 算了 就用棒球术语告诉我吧 |
| [07:31] | I got thrown out trying to stretch | 在尝试变一垒为二垒的时候 |
| [07:33] | a single into a double. | 我就被掷出了 |
| [07:38] | I can live with that. | 我能接受这个 |
| [07:41] | How about that time you walked into the bar | 那次你戴着”三倍射线护目镜” |
| [07:43] | wearing “Triple-X-Ray Goggles”? | 走进酒吧又是怎么一回事 |
| [07:46] | Well, hello, you two lovely ladies. | 哇哦 你好啊 两位可爱的女士 |
| [07:49] | What are you wearing? | 你戴的是什么 |
| [07:50] | Oh, hey, Robin, didn’t see you there. | 噢 嘿 罗宾 没看到你在这儿 |
| [07:52] | Just Triple-X-Ray Goggles, no big deal. | 就是三倍射线护目镜啦 没什么了不起的 |
| [07:55] | There is no way those things work. | 那东西不可能会有用的 |
| [07:57] | I’m not even here. | 假装我不在这儿 |
| [07:59] | Just act natural. | 表现的自然一点 |
| [08:04] | Right. | 对 |
| [08:05] | ‘Cause that jacket’s made of lead. | 因为那夹克是用铅做的 |
| [08:08] | Those things didn’t work, did they? | 那东西没用的 对吧 |
| [08:10] | Absolutely. Lily’s boobs always work for me. | 当然啦 莉莉的双峰一向都对我起作用的 |
| [08:12] | Oh, the goggles? No. | 噢 你说护目镜啊 没用 |
| [08:14] | Next question. | 下一个问题 |
| [08:16] | You keep saying “Ring bear” | 你一直在说”花熊” |
| [08:20] | instead of ring bear-er. | 而不是说花童 |
| [08:23] | Will there or will there not | 到底会不会有一只熊 |
| [08:25] | be a bear at our wedding? | 出现在我们的婚礼上 |
| [08:28] | The truth is… | 其实呢 |
| [08:30] | aggle flaggle klabble. | 阿格 弗拉格 克拉伯 |
| [08:30] | 童书《古纳什小兔》里的对话 | |
| [08:32] | Wumby flappy snurp… | 伍比 弗拉皮 斯那普 |
| [08:34] | Oh, my God, he’s dipped back down to Jabba drunk! | 我的天哪 他又降级为贾巴醉酒模式了 |
| [08:35] | Give him another drink! | 再灌他一轮酒 |
| [08:36] | Come on. | 来来 |
| [08:38] | Oh, yeah, baby. | 噢耶 宝贝 |
| [08:40] | I could go all night. | 我能战斗一整晚 |
| [08:42] | I can’t hold out much longer! | 我马上就把持不住了 |
| [08:45] | What are the least arousing things I can think of? | 我能想起的最消灭性趣的东西是什么 |
| [08:47] | Day-old roadkill | * 腐烂的路毙动物 * |
| [08:50] | Ah, yeah… | * 啊 是啊 * |
| [08:53] | Fingernail | * 手指甲 * |
| [08:54] | Fingernail clippings | * 剪指甲掉下的碎边 * |
| [08:59] | That is some dull stuff | * 这些都是无趣的东西 * |
| [09:01] | How your TMJ night guard smells in the morning | * TMJ夜用护板次日早晨的味道 * |
| [09:06] | Nasty | * 肮脏的 * |
| [09:08] | Bugs… | * 臭虫子 * |
| [09:10] | Mmm | * 嗡 * |
| [09:13] | More bugs | * 更多的臭虫子 * |
| [09:15] | It’s working! It’s working! | 在起作用 在起作用 |
| [09:17] | Uh-oh, it’s working too well. | 啊哦 作用起的太过了 |
| [09:20] | Think sexy thoughts. Think sexy thoughts! | 用性感的方式来想 用性感的方式来想 |
| [09:23] | Bugs with boobs… | * 长着咪咪的臭虫子 * |
| [09:26] | Marshall, are you all right? | 马修 你还好吧 |
| [09:28] | You don’t seem to be, um… | 你看起来好像不… |
| [09:29] | Please, uh, excuse Medium-Sized Fudge. | 拜托 呃 体谅下中号的软糖 |
| [09:34] | 6 and 3/64 inches. | 六又六四分之三英尺 |
| [09:36] | Yeah, he’s back to telling the truth. | 没错 他又开始讲真话了 |
| [09:37] | Okay, Barney, | 好 巴尼 |
| [09:39] | how are you always able to do that magic trick | 你是怎么完成那些魔术把戏的 |
| [09:40] | where you make doves appear? | 那些鸽子是从哪儿来的 |
| [09:42] | Special dehydrated birds I get in Chinatown. | 我从唐人街搞来的特制脱水鸟 |
| [09:48] | I knew it! | 我就知道 |
| [09:50] | Okay. Okay. | 好了 好了 |
| [09:52] | Will there or will there not | 到底会不会有一只熊 |
| [09:54] | be a bear at our wedding? | 出现在我们的婚礼上 |
| [09:57] | The truth is… | 真相就是 |
| [09:58] | -Barney… -Oh, come on! | -巴尼… -噢 卧槽 |
| [10:01] | I know that you always say | 我知道你总是在说在床上 |
| [10:02] | that you don’t need any kind of | 你不需要任何形式的 |
| [10:03] | “Help” In bed, but if you, um… | “帮助” 但如果你 呃… |
| [10:06] | I always keep these on hand. | 我总是把这个留在手边上 |
| [10:07] | But be careful. | 但要小心 |
| [10:09] | When you go off, there’s a kickback like a cannon. | 当你发”射”时 会像大炮一样反应强烈 |
| [10:11] | Thank you. | 谢了 |
| [10:15] | How much a year do you spend on suits? | 你一年要在西装上花多少 |
| [10:17] | Kids, I won’t bother you with the number… | 孩子们 我不想让你们为这个数字困扰 |
| [10:20] | but it was a crapload. | 就当做是一坨翔吧 |
| [10:22] | Around one crapload. | 大概有一坨翔 |
| [10:24] | That much? | 那么多 |
| [10:25] | Well… aren’t you concerned about your future? | 呃…你都不担心你的未来吗 |
| [10:27] | Nope. | 不 |
| [10:28] | Especially since Robin is massively wealthy. | 特别是在知道罗宾太特么有钱之后 |
| [10:30] | -Barney! -What? | -巴尼 -什么 |
| [10:31] | You’re rich? | 你很有钱 |
| [10:33] | L-Like how rich? | 有多有钱 |
| [10:34] | It’s my family’s money, not mine. | 是我家里的钱 又不是我的 |
| [10:35] | I-I don’t really know how much. | 我也不知道具体有多少 |
| [10:36] | How much is her family worth? | 她家产到底有多少啊 |
| [10:37] | 6,000 craploads. | 六千坨翔 |
| [10:39] | Canadian craploads. | 加拿大翔 |
| [10:40] | That much?! | 那么多 |
| [10:42] | But when we dated, | 但我们交往时 |
| [10:43] | I paid for everything. | 可什么钱都是我花的啊 |
| [10:44] | You didn’t pay for everything. | 才不是什么钱都是你花的了好吗 |
| [10:46] | He paid for everything. | 的确是什么钱都是他花的 |
| [10:47] | I pick up our bar tab all the time. | 咱俩在酒吧吃饭从来都是我结账 |
| [10:48] | Three times in the last nine years. | 九年就结过三次 |
| [10:50] | I took you out to tons of four-star restaurants. | 我带你去过无数次四星级酒店 |
| [10:52] | Two-star restaurants. | 二星级酒店 |
| [10:53] | Figuring, on average, two meals out a week | 平均算下来 每周两顿饭 |
| [10:55] | plus 20% tip… | 外加20%的小费 |
| [10:57] | 12 and a half percent tip. | 12.5%的小费 |
| [10:58] | Do you know how much money you cost me? | 你知道我在你身上花了多少钱吗 |
| [11:00] | What am I? A prostitute? | 你拿我当什么啊 妓女吗 |
| [11:02] | You are not a prostitute. | 你不是妓女 |
| [11:03] | No, a prostitute would’ve been cheaper. | 妓女还花不了那么多钱呢 |
| [11:05] | Depends on the prostitute. | 那得看什么级别的妓女了 |
| [11:07] | Wait, hold on, Ted, What are we doing? | 不是 等会儿 咱俩在干嘛啊 泰德 |
| [11:09] | You’re arguing about Robin’s wealth | 你们一直在纠结罗宾到底有多有钱 |
| [11:11] | when you really should be asking me embarrassing questions. | 明明应该问我难以启齿的问题的 |
| [11:13] | He’s right. | 他说的对 |
| [11:15] | Let’s do this. | 我们继续问 |
| [11:16] | And so we did it. | 然后我们就继续问了 |
| [11:17] | We asked Barney all the questions we’d always wanted to. | 我们问了巴尼这些年来我们一直想知道的所有问题 |
| [11:20] | In one night? Four. | 一晚上嘛 四次 |
| [11:22] | In one family? Three. | 在一家人里嘛 三个 |
| [11:25] | Yes, but not while she was secretary of state. | 是的 但她做国务卿的那会儿没有 |
| [11:28] | Yes, but not while she was secretary of state. | 没错 但她做国务卿的那会儿没有 |
| [11:32] | Just once. | 只有一次 |
| [11:34] | With a French male model Henri. | 跟一个法国男模亨利 |
| [11:37] | It was late. | 时间很晚了 |
| [11:38] | We were the last two people in the club. | 酒吧里就剩下我们两个人 |
| [11:40] | I was lonely and I figured, why not try it? | 我很寂寞 于是我想 试试看又不会死 |
| [11:43] | That was the only time I ever split a cab. | 那是我这辈子唯一一次跟别人打一辆出租车 |
| [11:46] | Yes, but not the M.I.T. You’re thinking of. | 上过 但不是你们想的麻省理工大学那个M.I.T |
| [11:49] | The Magician’s Institute of Teaneck. | 是蒂内克市魔术师培训学校 |
| [11:49] | Teaneck 新泽西州东北部城市 | |
| [11:52] | I’ve had sex in Ted’s bed 14 times. | 我在泰德的床上搞过14次 |
| [11:56] | I asked if you wear shoulder pads. | 我问的是你用不用垫肩 |
| [11:59] | I think I’ve just got one question left. | 看来我们只剩下一个问题了 |
| [12:02] | And it’s a biggie. | 还是个大问题 |
| [12:04] | Barney Stinson… | 巴尼•斯丁森 |
| [12:06] | …what do you do for a living? | 你是做什么工作的 |
| [12:11] | You did it. | 你做到了 |
| [12:13] | You banged your wife to sleep. | 你把你老婆送入了仙境又送入了梦境 |
| [12:15] | Nice job… | “干”得漂亮 |
| [12:19] | Still-Big Fudge. | 大且不软糖 |
| [12:25] | I wuv you, Mommy. | 我耐你麻麻 |
| [12:27] | Unpause. | 暂停取消 |
| [12:30] | Kids, in all the time we knew Barney, | 孩子们 认识巴尼这么多年 |
| [12:32] | there was one question he would always answer the same way. | 有一个问题 他始终只给我们这一个回答 |
| [12:35] | Seriously, what is it that you do? | 说真的 你到底是干什么的 |
| [12:36] | Please. | 拜托 |
| [12:38] | Okay, seriously. | 好了 正经点 |
| [12:39] | What do you do for a living? | 你到底是做什么工作的 |
| [12:41] | Please. | 拜托 |
| [12:42] | Are you finally gonna tell me exactly what your job is? | 你终于打算告诉我你是做什么工作的了吗 |
| [12:44] | Please. | 拜托 |
| [12:46] | So, naturally, this was a pretty big moment for us. | 所以对我们来说 此刻自然是个非常重要的时刻 |
| [12:49] | Well, what do you do for a living? | 说吧 你是做什么工作的 |
| [12:56] | Please. | 拜托 |
| [12:58] | God, he’s not telling us. | 老天啊 他还是不说 |
| [12:59] | More booze. | 继续灌酒 |
| [13:00] | Not so fast, princess. | 别这么着急 姑娘 |
| [13:03] | I guess subtle clues and the bar tab | 我觉得 有两样东西你从来不理 |
| [13:05] | are two things you just don’t pick up. | 一是暗含的信息 二是酒吧账单 |
| [13:07] | Because… | 因为 |
| [13:08] | I think he is telling us. | 我觉得他已经告诉我们了 |
| [13:10] | Tell us more about this job. | 再跟我们说说你的工作 |
| [13:14] | Well, as you know, | 你们知道的 |
| [13:15] | back in my hippie days, | 在我还是个小嬉皮的时候 |
| [13:16] | a business man came into my coffee shop, | 有个商人走进了我工作的咖啡厅 |
| [13:18] | told me money was all that mattered, | 告诉我金钱至上的道理 |
| [13:20] | and stole my girlfriend. | 然后丫抢了我的女朋友 |
| [13:22] | That’s when I decided to become awesome. | 于是我就决定要做个超凡的人 |
| [13:25] | But I had no idea how to break into the corporate world. | 但我对于如何跻身生意场毫无头绪 |
| [13:29] | So, hoping he wouldn’t recognize me, | 所以 我心想着 他可千万别认出我 |
| [13:29] | 1998年 | |
| [13:30] | I went to the one person from whom | 然后 我走进了那个从他身上 |
| [13:32] | I knew I could learn everything. | 我能学到一切的人的公司大门 |
| [13:34] | Do we know each other, bro? | 我们认识吗 兄弟 |
| [13:36] | We’re all connected in Gaia’s great tapestry of… | 我们都是大地母亲盖亚的孩… |
| [13:40] | No. | 不 |
| [13:42] | We don’t. | 不认识 |
| [13:43] | Bro. | 兄弟 |
| [13:46] | Wow, you went to M.I.T. | 哟 你上过麻省理工大学啊 |
| [13:47] | Pretty impressive. | 不错嘛 |
| [13:49] | I did get a perfect score on the A.C.T.’s. | 我大学测验的成绩的确很高 |
| [13:52] | Advanced Card Tricks. | 高级纸牌魔术 |
| [13:55] | Well, look, buddy. | 小伙子你看啊 |
| [13:56] | You got a sweet resume. | 你简历是挺不错的 |
| [13:57] | But we don’t have any openings you’re qualified for. | 但是我们公司目前没有适合你的职位 |
| [13:59] | They set me up! It was a trap! It’s a trap! | 是他们陷害我的 这是个陷阱 陷阱 |
| [14:04] | We have one opening you’d be perfect for. | 我们公司有个为你量身定做的职位 |
| [14:07] | Great. What do I do? | 太棒了 我都要做些什么呢 |
| [14:09] | Please. | 拜托 |
| [14:11] | “Provide Legal Exculpation And Sign Everything.” | “提供法律辩解 签署各类文件” |
| [14:13] | Just show up every day, | 你就天天来上班 |
| [14:14] | scribble your name on a bunch of documents, | 有文件你就签 |
| [14:16] | and we’ll pay you 16 craploads a year. | 我们每年给你16坨翔 |
| [14:19] | Deets are in the contract. | 详细职位描述都写在合同里了 |
| [14:20] | I’ll give you time to think about it. | 我给你时间考虑一下 |
| [14:23] | I’ll take it. | 这份工作我要了 |
| [14:23] | 17秒之后 | |
| [14:25] | Hold on. | 等等 |
| [14:26] | Did you even read this before signing it? | 你签字之前读内容了吗 |
| [14:28] | No. | 没呀 |
| [14:28] | You’re hired. | 欢迎加入 |
| [14:32] | We’ll work on that. | 得好好练练 |
| [14:33] | Wait. | 等等 |
| [14:35] | That’s your job? | 这就是你的工作吗 |
| [14:36] | You sign sketchy, legally binding documents | 你在具有法律效应的半成品文件上签字 |
| [14:38] | that could implicate you for God knows what? | 天知道会卷进什么麻烦里 |
| [14:40] | Best job ever, right? | 史上最好工作 对吧 |
| [14:43] | No more pausing. | 不能再暂停了 |
| [14:46] | We’re getting through this argument. | 我们一次吵个够 |
| [14:47] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [14:49] | No potshots at my mom. | 不许抨击我妈 |
| [14:51] | Fine, no distracting me with your calves. | 行 那你不许用你小腿干扰我 |
| [14:53] | Fine. | 行 |
| [14:59] | Look, I love you, Lilypad. | 听着 我爱你 莉莉派 |
| [15:01] | I love you, Marshmallow. | 我爱你 马甜甜 |
| [15:03] | Now… | 那… |
| [15:06] | …how could you take that job without telling me?! | 你怎么能不告诉我就接下那份工作呢 |
| [15:10] | Baby, I’m sorry, but they needed an answer right away. | 宝贝 我很抱歉 但他们要求立刻答复 |
| [15:13] | This is a huge opportunity, | 这是个千载难逢的机会 |
| [15:14] | it could be very good for our family, | 对咱们的家庭也会很有益 |
| [15:16] | and we have to at least talk about it. | 我们至少得先讨论下什么的 |
| [15:17] | Sorry, you lost your chance to talk about it | 不好意思 你想讨论的话已经晚了 |
| [15:20] | when you didn’t talk about it. | 因为你没来跟我讨论 |
| [15:23] | We’re going to Italy. | 我们要去意大利 |
| [15:24] | But I could be a judge. | 但我可以成为法官啊 |
| [15:26] | We can’t give that up for what is clearly just a hobby. | 我们不能只为了你的一个小兴趣就这样放弃啊 |
| [15:29] | Pause. | 暂停 |
| [15:30] | No pause. | 不许暂停 |
| [15:31] | That “Hobby” Is my dream. | 你口中的”小兴趣”是我的梦想啊 |
| [15:33] | We’re going to Italy. | 我们得去意大利 |
| [15:35] | But it’s my dream to… | 但我的梦想是… |
| [15:36] | We are going to Italy! | 我们就去意大利 |
| [15:37] | Baby, can you just…? | 亲爱的 你就不能… |
| [15:39] | We are going to Italy! | 我们就该去意大利 |
| [15:40] | Don’t you get it? | 你还不明白吗 |
| [15:41] | You went behind my back. | 你背着我这样做 |
| [15:44] | You hurt me. | 你伤害了我 |
| [15:45] | You were more selfish than I have ever been to you. | 我从来没有对你这么自私过 |
| [15:49] | You broke up with me and moved to San Francisco. | 你曾经跟我分手 搬去了旧金山 |
| [15:55] | Barney! You’re being stupid. | 巴尼 你傻了吧你 |
| [15:57] | The-the-the company is setting you up as their fall guy | 这个公司明显把你设定成了他们 |
| [16:00] | for all of their illegal activities. | 所有非法活动的替死鬼啊 |
| [16:02] | No, you guys are being stupid. | 不 你们才傻了呢 |
| [16:05] | Especially Ted. | 尤其是泰德 |
| [16:07] | What? I didn’t say anything. | 啥 我啥也没说啊 |
| [16:08] | And then, kids, Barney revealed to us his master plan. | 接下来 孩子们 巴尼揭秘了他的终极规划 |
| [16:12] | It all went down a few months after the wedding. | 在婚礼结束几个月之后 一切真相大白 |
| [16:14] | Hey, Greg? | 嘿 克雷格 |
| [16:14] | 两个月后 | |
| [16:16] | I know you’re busy, | 我知道你很忙 |
| [16:18] | but FYI, I’ve been colluding with the Feds. | 不过顺便说一句 我一直跟联邦调查局有联系 |
| [16:20] | They know everything. | 他们什么都知道了 |
| [16:21] | And they’re on their way up right now | 现在他们正在上楼 |
| [16:23] | to shut down this division and arrest you. | 来关掉这个部门 逮捕你 |
| [16:24] | Door closed or…? | 需要帮你关门吗 |
| [16:26] | What? | 你说什么 |
| [16:27] | Why would you do that? | 你为什么要这样做 |
| [16:28] | Oh, gosh, countless moral reasons…could have applied, | 哦 天哪 无数道义上的理由 可以这么说吧 |
| [16:32] | but this is pretty much revenge for stealing my girlfriend. | 不过真正原因是为你抢我女朋友的事报仇 |
| [16:36] | See? That day, I vowed | 是这样的 那一天 我曾发誓 |
| [16:38] | I would do everything in my power to track you down, | 我要极尽所我能去找到你 |
| [16:40] | gain your trust, | 赢得你的信任 |
| [16:42] | and then destroy you. | 然后毁灭你 |
| [16:45] | Who are you? | 你到底是谁 |
| [16:46] | Who am I? | 我是谁 |
| [16:47] | Just a guy who served you coffee once. | 只是一个给你端过一次咖啡的人 |
| [16:50] | Peace out, loser. | 慢走怂货 |
| [16:52] | Barney Stinson, Barney Stinson | {\fnAdobeHeitiStd-Regular}* 巴尼•斯丁森 巴尼•斯丁森 * |
| [16:53] | You son of a bitch! | 你个混蛋 |
| [16:53] | That guy’s awesome | {\fnAdobeHeitiStd-Regular}* 此人超凡 * |
| [16:55] | I will destroy you! Get your hands off of me. | 我要毁了你 别碰我 |
| [16:58] | Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh | {\fnAdobeHeitiStd-Regular}* 嗷嗷嗷嗷嗷嗷嗷嗷 * |
| [17:01] | Awesome. | {\fnAdobeHeitiStd-Regular}* 超凡 * |
| [17:03] | Why are you bringing up San Francisco? | 你为什么又提起旧金山的事了 |
| [17:06] | That was seven years ago. | 那都是七年前的事了 |
| [17:08] | Because you are being selfish all over again. | 因为你又变得那么自私了 |
| [17:13] | Marshall, I apologized over and over again. | 马修 我已经向你道歉过无数次了 |
| [17:17] | Now you’re saying you never have forgiven me? | 现在是说 你其实一直都没有原谅我吗 |
| [17:20] | There is nothing more important to me than our family. | 对我来说 再没有比我们的家庭更重要的事情了 |
| [17:24] | You know that. | 你是知道的 |
| [17:25] | Well, let me ask. | 那我问问你 |
| [17:26] | What if you had found success in San Francisco? | 要是你在旧金山成功了呢 |
| [17:30] | How do I know that you even would’ve come back to me? | 我怎么知道你还会不会回到我身边 |
| [17:32] | Stop it. | 别说了 |
| [17:34] | Are Marvin and I | 马尔文和我 |
| [17:36] | and any other future children we may have | 以及我们未来可能会有的孩子 |
| [17:38] | just some consolation prize? | 都是你的安慰奖吗 |
| [17:41] | I have to get out of here. | 我得出去静静 |
| [17:45] | Babe? | 亲爱的 |
| [17:49] | So, Barney, | 好了 巴尼 |
| [17:50] | I still haven’t heard you pronounce that last syllable. | 我还是没听清你最后一个音节的发音 |
| [17:54] | At our wedding, will there be a ring bear-er? | 在我们的婚礼上 会不会有花童 |
| [18:01] | The truth is… | 其实呢 |
| [18:04] | …yes, there will be a ring bear-er. | 没错 会有一名花童 |
| [18:07] | His name is Trevor Hudson, | 他叫特雷弗•哈德逊 |
| [18:09] | I worked with his mother, and he’s adorable. | 我和他妈妈是同事 他很可爱的 |
| [18:11] | I want our wedding to be perfect, Robin. | 我想让我们的婚礼完美举行 罗宾 |
| [18:13] | Me, too. | 我也是 |
| [18:16] | Okay, I’m gonna go upstairs. | 好了 我要上楼去了 |
| [18:17] | He’s okay to crash with you, right? | 他就交给你了 没问题吧 |
| [18:18] | Yup, we’ll see you in the morning. | 没问题 我们明早见 |
| [18:22] | I love you. | 我爱你 |
| [18:23] | I love you, too. | 我也爱你 |
| [18:29] | Okay, I got one last question for you. | 好了 我还有最后一个问题 |
| [18:32] | And I can’t believe I haven’t asked it yet. | 我竟然一直没有问出口 |
| [18:34] | Dude, you’re getting married tomorrow. | 兄弟 你明天就要结婚了 |
| [18:38] | -How are you doing? -Good. | -你感觉怎么样啊 -挺好的 |
| [18:40] | I mean, I’m a little nervous, | 虽说呢 我还是有一点点紧张 |
| [18:42] | but I love Robin more than I’ve ever loved anyone, | 但是我爱罗宾胜过爱任何人 |
| [18:46] | and I’m gonna do everything I can to make her happy. | 我要尽我所能让她幸福 |
| [18:49] | For a long time, | 长久以来 |
| [18:50] | deep down, | 内心深处 |
| [18:53] | I’ve felt sort of… | 我感觉有点… |
| [18:55] | broken? | 崩坏 |
| [18:57] | But, I don’t feel that way anymore. | 但是 我再也没有那种感受了 |
| [19:00] | Robin, along with the idea that vengeance will soon be mine, | 罗宾 加上我那手到擒来的终极复仇 |
| [19:05] | has made me 100% awesome. | 让我实现百分百超凡 |
| [19:09] | I’m proud of you, buddy. | 为你感到骄傲 伙计 |
| [19:10] | Globan froban. | |
| [19:13] | Ho, ho, ho. | 吼吼吼 |
| [19:14] | Okay. Come on, Jabba. | 好了 行啦 贾巴 |
| [19:16] | Big day tomorrow. | 明天可是大日子啊 |
| [19:17] | Tab for the night? | 今晚的结下账吧 |
| [19:20] | Just so you know, | 跟你说一下 |
| [19:21] | those last few rounds of 35-year Glen McKenna were not cheap. | 最后那几轮35年陈酿格伦•麦肯纳可不便宜 |
| [19:25] | Whoa. | 我去 |
| [19:26] | Um… | 呃 |
| [19:27] | you know what? | 要不这样吧 |
| [19:28] | Charge them to the bride’s room. | 记在新娘房间的账上吧 |
| [19:31] | Come on. | 走啦 |
| [19:34] | Kids, it’s your grandmother’s favorite rule. | 孩子们 还记得你们奶奶最喜欢的那句名言吧 |
| [19:36] | Nothing good happens after 2:00 a.M. | 凌晨两点之后 准没好事发生 |
| [19:39] | Hi. I-I know it’s late, but I’ve got to get out of here. | 嗨 我知道现在很晚了 但是我得离开这里 |
| [19:42] | Marshall and I just had a huge fight. | 我和马修刚才大吵一架 |
| [19:45] | You will? | 你真的会吗 |
| [19:47] | Oh, my God, thank you. | 天啊 太感谢你了 |
| [20:08] | Okay. | 没事的 |
| [20:09] | Everything is fine. | 一切都没事的 |
| [20:10] | Okay? Just don’t freak out. | 知道了吗 不要抓狂就好 |
| [20:11] | I’m not freaking out. | 我没有抓狂 |
| [20:12] | I was talking to myself. | 我自言自语呢 |
| [20:13] | Do you have the baby? | 女儿你抱着呢吧 |
| [20:15] | -The elevator! -What?! | -忘在电梯里了 -什么 |
| [20:16] | Marshall and Lily are right. It never gets old. | 马修莉莉说的没错 这梗千年不烂 |
| [20:18] | Unless you’re crowning. | 临盆时除外 |
| [20:20] | -So proud of you. -Thank you. | -真为你骄傲 -谢谢 |
| [20:21] | Penny is proud of you. | 潘妮也为你骄傲 |
| [20:23] | Let’s go get you a brother. | 妈妈给你生个弟弟吧 |
| [20:25] | Okay? | 好不好 |
| [20:26] | -You want a brother? -All right? | -你想要个弟弟吧 -对吗 |
| [20:27] | -I love you. -I love you, too. | -我爱你 -我也爱你 |
| [20:30] | You’re gonna be great. | 你一定超棒的 |
| [20:31] | Yeah, okay. | 嗯嗯 放心 |
| [20:32] | 2:00 a.M., it’s a good rule, | 凌晨两点 是个不错的法则 |
| [20:35] | but every rule has an exception. | 但是每条法则都有个例外 |
| [20:37] | And for us, that exception was you, Luke. | 对于我们来说 这个例外就是你 卢克 |
| [20:40] | We’re having a baby! | 我们去生孩子啦 |
| [20:49] | Come on, Trevor Hudson. | 特雷弗•哈德逊 过来 |
| [20:50] | It’s feeding time. | 喂食时间到 |