| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:02] | Oh, my god! You know that there is gonna be champagne at this party, right? | 天呐 你知道到时候派对上有香槟对吧 |
| [00:05] | I know, I know. | 知道 知道 |
| [00:06] | But we’re gonna get there and it’s gonna be | 但等我们到了那儿啊 |
| [00:08] | everyone congratulating you on your book, | 那可是人人都在夸你的新书呢 |
| [00:10] | saying, “This is a revelation! | 大伙说啊 这本书可算是开天眼了 |
| [00:12] | You’re gonna end poverty in our time. | 你一定可以在咱们的见证下终结贫困的 |
| [00:14] | This is the greatest book anyone’s ever written in any genre.” | 这可是本前无古人 后无来者 不分类型 史上最强的神书啊 |
| [00:17] | You’re the only one that says that, sweetie. | 只有你会这么说 亲爱的 |
| [00:19] | Well, it’s true. | 呃 这是事实啊 |
| [00:20] | So before I lose you to your adoring public, | 在你被一大波粉丝们淹没之前 |
| [00:23] | I just want to take a moment, you and I, | 我想花点时间 就咱俩 |
| [00:25] | To celebrate the best year of our lives. | 庆祝一下这最美好的一年 |
| [00:29] | Happy new year. | 新年快乐 |
| [00:31] | Happy new year. | 新年快乐 |
| [00:37] | We go big tonight! | 今晚咱嗨到底 |
| [00:40] | Easy there, buddy. | 别激动啊大兄弟 |
| [00:41] | We’re old people, remember? | 我们都已经老了 别忘了 |
| [00:43] | We haven’t even gone medium sized in forever. | 我们连中发都已经好久没玩了 |
| [00:45] | And I cannot carry you home in this dress. | 穿着这裙子把你拖回家 我可吃不消 |
| [00:48] | Sweetie, relax. | 亲爱的 放轻松 |
| [00:50] | I got this. | 我有数 |
| [00:51] | Yeah, right. | 信你才怪 |
| [00:52] | I can see your whole future. | 接下来会怎样我一清二楚 |
| [00:54] | You are gonna be so hungover tomorrow. | 明天你一定宿醉到头疼死 |
| [00:57] | -I’m gonna be fine. -Hmm. | -我一定没事的 -嗯 |
| [00:59] | I made a vow, remember? | 我可是发过誓的 别忘了 |
| [01:01] | Kids… | 孩子们 |
| [01:02] | The story behind that vow | 关于这个誓背后的故事 |
| [01:03] | took place the morning of Barney and Robin’s wedding. | 发生在巴尼和罗宾婚礼那天早上 |
| [01:06] | You see, after drinking way too much the night before, | 你瞧 在前一天晚上喝大发之后 |
| [01:09] | This is all your uncle Barney remembers | 你们巴尼叔叔的回忆里 |
| [01:11] | from the first two hours of his wedding day. | 他婚礼那天的前两个小时是这样的 |
| [01:19] | And that’s it. | 就是这样 |
| [01:21] | Now here’s how the rest of us | 而我们其余四个的 |
| [01:22] | remember those two hours. | 记忆里是这样的 |
| [01:25] | Found him. | 找到他了 |
| [01:28] | You know, he looks better than I thought he would. | 你知道吗 这其实比我预期的要好多了 |
| [01:30] | Rise and shine. | 太阳公公晒屁股啦 |
| [01:34] | Up and at ’em, let’s do this. | 抬起腿来 咱来一发 |
| [01:37] | There’s a gas leak! | 煤气泄漏了 |
| [01:39] | The building’s on fire! | 宾馆着火了 |
| [01:42] | Your shoes don’t match your belt! | 你的鞋和皮带不搭 |
| [01:54] | Uh-oh. | 大事不妙 |
| [01:55] | 周日\N早上8点\N \N | |
| [01:56] | 婚礼前10小时 | |
| [02:11] | Okay, I think my fiance peed himself a little. | 好吧 目测我的未婚夫尿裤子了 |
| [02:14] | Oh, tomorrow I’m gonna be able to say | 噢 到明天我就能说 |
| [02:17] | My husband peed himself a little. | 我老公尿裤子了 |
| [02:19] | Don’t worry. | 别担心 |
| [02:20] | I accidentally spilled some iced tea on him. | 是我不小心把冰茶溅上去了 |
| [02:22] | Oh, thank god. | 哦 那就好 |
| [02:23] | I didn’t really spill some iced tea on him. | 其实我并没有把冰茶溅上去 |
| [02:25] | Oh, god, this is bad. | 天呐 这可不妙 |
| [02:27] | We’re doing family wedding pictures | 再过两个小时就要在灯塔那里 |
| [02:29] | at the lighthouse in two hours. | 拍结婚全家福了 |
| [02:31] | My father is paying for the whole thing. | 这全都是我爸买的单 |
| [02:32] | He’s gonna kill barney if he doesn’t show up. | 巴尼要是不出现 他非杀了他不可 |
| [02:34] | Come on, your dad’s tough. | 好啦 你爸确实强悍了点 |
| [02:36] | But won’t he understand a good old fashioned hangover? | 但一次小小的宿醉他总不会不理解吧 |
| [02:38] | My father’s recipe for a Bloody Mary | 我爸的血腥玛丽配方可是 |
| [02:40] | trades out tomato juice for wolf’s blood. | 把番茄汁换成狼血 |
| [02:43] | Ooh. Ooh. | 真剽悍 |
| [02:44] | Bloody Mary? | 血腥玛丽 |
| [02:45] | Sounds more like a Bloody Scary. | 听起来倒更像是血腥恐惧 |
| [02:49] | I’m gonna say it again. | 我再说一遍 |
| [02:50] | -Uh, hold on. -Bloody mary? Sounds more… | -哦 等一下 -血腥玛丽 听起来倒更像… |
| [02:51] | You guys are forgetting | 你们忘了 |
| [02:53] | Barney Stinson has a super power. | 巴尼•斯丁森有个超能力 |
| [02:56] | He can’t take a bad photo. | 他从来拍不出难看的照片 |
| [03:00] | Okay, here. | 扶好 好嘞 |
| [03:01] | Watch. | 瞧好了 |
| [03:07] | Guys, Barney may be dead. | 伙计们 巴尼可能真的挂了 |
| [03:08] | That’s it! | 行了 |
| [03:09] | You know what? We are all now seriously too old | 我跟你们说 我们都真心太老了 |
| [03:11] | To keep doing this to ourselves! | 这种傻事咱做不起 |
| [03:12] | I vow here and now | 我在此发誓 |
| [03:14] | That I shall never again get that drunk in my life! | 从今以后绝对不会再喝成这个样子 |
| [03:18] | Yeah, he’d wind up breaking that vow. | 没错 他后来没守住誓约 |
| [03:20] | And I will not break that vow | 而且只要我毛发依然旺盛 |
| [03:22] | As sure as I will always have a full head of hair! | 就绝对不会破这个誓 |
| [03:25] | 2020年 | |
| [03:25] | In other elections today, | 今天的另一场竞选 |
| [03:27] | in the race for New York State Supreme Court, | 是角逐纽约州最高法官席位 |
| [03:30] | Judge Brad Morris… | 布莱德•莫里斯法官 |
| [03:31] | Mmm, just look at him. | 天呐 瞧瞧这身肉 |
| [03:33] | I would love to rub that down. | 我真想摸个遍 |
| [03:35] | sorry. | 失态了 |
| [03:36] | Has increased his sizable lead ver judge Marshall Eriksen. | 其支持率正以可观的优势领先马修•艾瑞克森法官 |
| [03:40] | It was supposed to be a victory party. | 这本该是个庆功会的 |
| [03:42] | You ran a great campaign, baby. | 亲爱的 你已经很出色了 |
| [03:44] | Yeah, but it was the most stressful three weeks of my life! | 是啊 但是这是我这辈子神经最紧张的三周了 |
| [03:49] | 四小时后 | |
| [03:49] | And in other results, a surprise comeback. | 从其它地区的结果看 出现了一次惊天逆转 |
| [03:51] | We are now ready to call the new york state supreme court race | 我们现在宣布纽约州立最高法院竞选的获胜者是 |
| [03:54] | for judge Marshall Eriksen. | 是法官马修•艾瑞克森 |
| [03:58] | We’ll go to judge Eriksen for a live statement | 几分钟后 我们将会对法官艾瑞克森 |
| [04:00] | in just a few minutes. | 进行现场采访 |
| [04:02] | Come again for judge fudge? | 跟大软糖法官再说一遍 |
| [04:05] | As your next commissioner… | 作为你们的下一任专员… |
| [04:06] | State supreme court judge. | 州立最高法院法官 |
| [04:08] | …of gotham city… | …在高谭市… |
| [04:08] | 这段马修喝醉了 把自己当成蝙蝠侠里的人物 | |
| [04:10] | the state of new york. | 纽约州 |
| [04:12] | …I vow to make batman work harder. | …我起誓会让蝙蝠侠更加努力工作 |
| [04:15] | I say | 我说啊 |
| [04:16] | shine that bat-signal even for small stuff. | 不管多大事都来找蝙蝠侠吧 |
| [04:19] | like, uh, shoveling snow. | 比如 嗯 铲雪啊 |
| [04:22] | or, like, uh, if a police horse dumps out in the park. | 或者比如 嗯 警马在公园里拉屎了之类的 |
| [04:26] | Okay, well, that will be all at this time, thank you. | 好了 就说到这 谢谢 |
| [04:28] | -That’s all. -Okay. | -就说到这 -好了 |
| [04:30] | Mmm, good night. | 晚安 |
| [04:31] | Never again! | 再也不这样了 |
| [04:33] | I vow it! | 我发誓 |
| [04:34] | I am more worried about the vows I have to take | 我现在更担心的是几个小时之后 |
| [04:36] | with this useless pile of garbage a few hours from now. | 我要和这一滩货宣誓了 |
| [04:38] | What do we do? | 我们该怎么办啊 |
| [04:40] | You guys see the irony here. | 你们说这有多讽刺 |
| [04:41] | The only person who could possibly get | 唯一一个可能让 |
| [04:42] | Barney back on his feet | 巴尼醒过来的人 |
| [04:44] | is barney. | 就是巴尼自己 |
| [04:45] | See, over the years, | 是这样的 这些年来 |
| [04:46] | We’d all come to experience | 我们都喝过一样东西 |
| [04:47] | something barney called… | 巴尼称之为… |
| [04:49] | Stinson’s hangover fixer elixir! | 斯丁森宿醉灵 |
| [04:51] | The most effective | 风靡全国 |
| [04:53] | post-bender, head’s-too-tender ender | 有史以来超级无敌有效的 |
| [04:54] | from here to denver. | 解酒神器 |
| [04:55] | What’s in it? | 这里面有什么 |
| [04:56] | -Glad you asked. -Ah, I take it back. | -问得好 -啊 我收回 |
| [04:57] | -Columbia university, 1941… -I take it back, I take it back. | -哥伦比亚大学 1941年… -我收回还不行吗 |
| [04:59] | president Franklin Delano Roosevelt, | 富兰克林•德拉诺•罗斯福总统 |
| [05:01] | whom we all know is most famous | 众所周知他是一个世界闻名的 |
| [05:02] | for being a world-class drunk, | 超级酒鬼 |
| [05:04] | Commissioned a top-secret scientific project– | 签署了一项顶级机密的科学项目 |
| [05:06] | develop an elixir to cure the common hangover. | 研制出能够治疗常见宿醉的灵药 |
| [05:09] | And what brilliant scientific mind did boozy old fdr pick | 那么醉醺醺的老富兰克林选择了哪位杰出的科学家 |
| [05:12] | -to head up this historic task? -Look. | -来完成这项历史性的人物呢 -听着 |
| [05:14] | My head really hurts. Let’s just speed this along. | 我头痛得要命 我们来速战速决吧 |
| [05:16] | You’re clearly ripping off | 很明显你致敬了 |
| [05:18] | the story of the manhattan project, | 曼哈顿计划的故事 |
| [05:18] | 曼哈顿计划是为制造原子弹的计划 由罗斯福总统签署 | |
| [05:19] | which was run by Dr. Robert oppenheimer. | 计划负责人是罗伯特•奥本海默博士 |
| [05:22] | So I’m gonna guess it was your distant relative… | 所以我猜那个人应该是你的某个远亲… |
| [05:27] | …Barnert Stinsonheimer? | …巴奈特•斯丁森海默吧 |
| [05:29] | Somebody’s read their history books. | 看来某人的历史学得不错哈 |
| [05:32] | The too many manhattans project | 传说中的曼哈顿计划 |
| [05:34] | hit a few snags at first. | 起初遇到了不少麻烦 |
| [05:37] | The first batch exploded. | 第一批药剂爆炸了 |
| [05:38] | Which sounded kind of like this. | 听起来像这样的 |
| [05:40] | -Boom! -Oh! | -嘭 -哦 |
| [05:41] | You suck. | 你这个贱人 |
| [05:43] | Just let me finish. | 让人家说完啦 |
| [05:44] | But the second batch… | 但是第二批药剂 |
| [05:46] | sadly also exploded. | 很可惜 也爆炸了 |
| [05:48] | -Boom! -Oh! | -嘭 -哦 |
| [05:49] | Why are you here right now? | 你怎么还在这儿啊 |
| [05:51] | Do you want to hear the story or not? | 你到底想不想听这个故事啊 |
| [05:52] | Absolutely not. Please leave. | 当然不想 快走 |
| [05:53] | After some trial and error, | 在一些尝试和挫折之后 |
| [05:55] | Dr. Stinsonheimer finally found | 斯丁森海默博士终于找到了 |
| [05:57] | the magic formula. | 那个神奇的配方 |
| [06:02] | Hang on. | 等一下 |
| [06:03] | Funyuns? | 洋葱圈 |
| [06:04] | Tantrum soda? | 堂多姆苏打水 |
| [06:05] | Sure. | 是啊 |
| [06:06] | In 1941? | 在1941年吗 |
| [06:08] | Sure. | 是啊 |
| [06:09] | They haven’t made new tantrum since then. | 他们从那以后就没做过新的堂多姆了 |
| [06:10] | That stuff lasts a while. | 那玩意命挺长的 |
| [06:11] | Anyway, the elixir was such a success. | 最后是这样的 灵药实在是太成功了 |
| [06:14] | He was awarded the bro-bel prize. | 他因此获得了兄贝尔奖 |
| [06:17] | True story. | 真实的故事 |
| [06:19] | Boom! | 嘭 |
| [06:20] | Wh-wh-why? | 又怎么啦 |
| [06:21] | That time I was just messing with you. | 这次我是逗你玩的 |
| [06:23] | Just give me the stupid drink. | 快把那个什么破饮料给我 |
| [06:27] | And the craziest part was… | 然后最疯狂的事情发生了 |
| [06:33] | I-I feel better. | 我还真觉得好一些了 |
| [06:36] | Over the years, each of us would discover | 这些年来 我们每个人都发现了 |
| [06:38] | that Barney’s elixir actually worked. | 巴尼的灵药的确很管用 |
| [06:40] | Like, way better. | 简直是好多了 |
| [06:41] | What’s in this thing again? | 这里面有什么 再说一遍 |
| [06:42] | Stinson family secret. | 这是斯丁森家族的秘密 |
| [06:44] | Oh, come on, you told me most of the ingredients in your story. | 哦 拜托 你在故事里都说了大部分原料了 |
| [06:46] | Just tell me the secret one. | 就告诉我秘密的那个吧 |
| [06:48] | Ha! I’ll never tell you. | 哈 我永远都不会告诉你的 |
| [06:50] | I’ll take it with me to my grave. | 我要它陪我进坟墓 |
| [06:52] | Damn it, barney! | 去你的 巴尼 |
| [06:53] | Why are you always so selfish?! | 你为什么总是这么自私呢 |
| [06:54] | We are trying to help you! | 我们想过要帮你的 |
| [06:56] | Okay, we somehow have to get the leaky barf bag | 好了 我们得想办法在婚礼合照之前 |
| [06:57] | back on his feet before the wedding pictures. | 让这个尿裤子的酒鬼重新站起来 |
| [07:00] | Well, we know what barney would want us to do. | 好吧 我们知道巴尼想让我们怎么做 |
| [07:02] | 老巴去度假 | |
| [07:04] | Say cheese. | 说茄子 |
| [07:05] | Cheese! | 茄子 |
| [07:07] | No! | 不要 |
| [07:08] | We are not doing weekend at barney’s! | 我们不用老巴去度假这招 |
| [07:10] | But that’s the dream! | 但是那是我们的梦想 |
| [07:11] | I can’t believe I just said that. | 我简直不相信我说了这句话 |
| [07:13] | Someone suggest something useful! | 总得有人出个靠谱的主意啊 |
| [07:14] | Okay, here’s the plan. | 好了 我们这么做 |
| [07:15] | Marshall, you and ted go gather | 马修 你和泰德去找齐 |
| [07:17] | the ingredients we do know. | 我们已经知道的原料 |
| [07:19] | Robin, | 罗宾 |
| [07:19] | You wake up barney long enough | 你把巴尼喊醒一段时间 |
| [07:21] | to find out the secret ingredient. | 问出来那个秘密原料是什么 |
| [07:23] | And I’ll race down to the spa to keep my 8:15 mani and pedi. | 我呢 冲到楼下spa区去做我约在8:15的手足护理 |
| [07:27] | Okay, let’s do this! | 好了 行动吧 |
| [07:28] | Bitch? | 贱人 |
| [07:29] | Walk out that door and I tag in Zabka as my maid of honor. | 你敢走出那扇门 我就让扎布卡做我的伴娘 |
| [07:31] | Okay, let’s start simple. | 好吧 我们从简单的做起 |
| [07:34] | Fresh ocean air. | 给他清新的海洋空气 |
| [07:35] | Come on, baby. | 来吧 宝贝 |
| [07:36] | Come on, honey. | 来吧 亲爱的 |
| [07:38] | Come on, love, yeah. Baby, baby. | 来吧 亲爱的 对了 宝贝 |
| [07:41] | I’ll get the elevator. | 我去按电梯 |
| [07:43] | Oh, I should get some water. | 哦 我去弄些水 |
| [07:53] | Okay, so… | 好了 那… |
| [07:55] | Accidentally throwing barney down the stairs | 一不小心把他扔下楼梯 |
| [07:57] | Did not wake him up. | 都没把他弄醒 |
| [07:59] | Nor did banging his head on each step | 头在楼梯上一路撞下去 |
| [08:01] | As we dragged him back up here. | 我们再把他一路连拉带拽弄上来都没弄醒他 |
| [08:03] | So, how do we wake him up long enough | 那么 我们如何把他弄醒 |
| [08:05] | To tell us the final ingredient? | 然后抓紧问他秘密配料是啥 |
| [08:07] | You know, when my sister and I | 当我和我的妹妹 |
| [08:09] | Had trouble getting up for school, | 起床困难的时候 |
| [08:10] | My dad a few cute little tricks. | 我爸爸倒是有些挺有爱的把戏 |
| [08:18] | I’ll do it! | 我真的会剪的 |
| [08:19] | I swear to god I’ll do it! | 我发誓我绝对会剪的 |
| [08:22] | Your dad used to do this to you? | 你爸爸以前真的这样对你的 |
| [08:24] | Well, it was with a cabbage patch doll and an ax. | 那次是用斧头砍卷心菜娃娃 |
| [08:25] | But same idea. Trust me. | 不过道理是一样的 相信我 |
| [08:26] | I was never late for kindergarten again. | 之后我上幼儿园就再也没迟到过了 |
| [08:29] | What? Come on. | 啥 不要吧 |
| [08:35] | I second marshall’s vow. | 我跟着马修发誓 |
| [08:37] | I will never, ever get that drunk again. | 我永远永远也不会喝的这么醉 |
| [08:40] | Yeah. She would. | 嗯 她喝醉了 |
| [08:42] | 卫斯理安大学 2030年 | |
| [08:42] | My baby boy’s in college. | 我的宝贝儿子上大学啦 |
| [08:45] | Did you pack enough undies? | 你的内衣带够了吗 |
| [08:46] | Yes, mom. | 是的 妈妈 |
| [08:48] | Your father did a lot of puking | 你爸爸在这个神圣的走廊上 |
| [08:50] | In these hallowed halls. | 吐过很多词 |
| [08:52] | From-from binge studying. | 在我们研究醉酒学的时候 |
| [08:54] | Saved it. | 可算圆回来了 |
| [08:56] | That reminds me, mister. | 这倒提醒我了 先生 |
| [08:57] | No underage drinking. | 不到年龄别喝酒 |
| [08:59] | No good comes from hanging out | 泡酒吧喝酒 |
| [09:01] | in bars and getting drunk. | 一点好处都没有 |
| [09:02] | But every story from your 20s starts in a bar. | 但你们从20多岁开始的故事都是在酒吧 |
| [09:05] | Listen to your mother. | 听妈妈的话 |
| [09:07] | Oh, what are we gonna do without you in the house? | 你不在家里我们可怎么办啊 |
| [09:10] | We got him out of the house! Drink up! | 我们终于把他撵出去了 干了 |
| [09:17] | Oh… | 哦 |
| [09:22] | -You son of a bitch! -You son of a me! | -你个老混蛋 -你个老混蛋的小混蛋 |
| [09:25] | All right, we got most of the ingredients on our list. | 好了 大部分的配料都在单子上了 |
| [09:27] | Ginger, bananas, funyuns. | 姜 香蕉 炸洋葱圈 |
| [09:29] | I cannot believe that minimart sold tantrum. | 没想到那个小卖部还卖堂多姆 |
| [09:31] | It’s been discontinued for years. | 都已经停产好几年了 |
| [09:33] | Uh, hey. | 呃 嘿 |
| [09:34] | Will you, uh, toss me that bottle? | 你把那个瓶子扔给我吧 |
| [09:36] | Oh. Yeah, we haven’t done this forever. | 嗯 好的 我们好久没这么玩了 |
| [09:39] | Dude! | 哥们 |
| [09:40] | You’re a grown man. | 你已经成年了 |
| [09:41] | 堂多姆的真正意思是发小孩脾气 | |
| [09:41] | Why you throwing a tantrum? | 怎么还乱甩堂多姆呢 |
| [09:43] | Nice! | 好梗 |
| [09:44] | So awesome! | 太赞了 |
| [09:45] | So awesome! | 太赞了 |
| [09:46] | Okay, there’s only | 好了 单子上就只有 |
| [09:47] | One more item on the list and… | 这一样东西没有了 |
| [09:49] | It’s an odd one. | 很奇怪的东西 |
| [09:51] | -Grease? -Grease. | -荤油 -荤油 |
| [09:53] | At the farhampton inn, we don’t cook with grease. | 在远汉普顿旅馆 我们做菜不用荤油 |
| [09:55] | Our menu is organic. | 我们的菜都是有机的 |
| [09:57] | Farm to table, locally grown. | 从地里到桌上 现种现吃 |
| [09:59] | No “Grease.” | 没有”荤油” |
| [10:01] | Sir, | 先生 |
| [10:02] | I am from minnesota, | 我大明尼苏达 |
| [10:04] | Where every meal is cooked with grease. | 顿顿都有大荤油 |
| [10:06] | And my father dubbed that food the tastiest eats | 我爸爸称赞这种食品 |
| [10:09] | In the whole gosh darn world, so… | 是世间最美味的 |
| [10:12] | And how is your father’s health? | 那么令尊身体可好 |
| [10:15] | Point is, it tastes really good. | 重点是真的很好吃好吗 |
| [10:17] | Also, uh, | 还有 |
| [10:18] | We need it to help a friend recover from a hangover. | 我们还要帮一个朋友醒酒 |
| [10:20] | Wait a second. | 等会 |
| [10:22] | There’s bacon right here. | 这里有培根 |
| [10:24] | And where there’s bacon, | 只要有培根 |
| [10:25] | There’s bacon grease. | 就肯定有培根油 |
| [10:26] | Which we throw out. | 我们都扔掉了 |
| [10:28] | And we aren’t making any more bacon today. | 再说我们今天也不会再做培根了 |
| [10:30] | Not unless it all somehow gets eaten in the ten minutes | 除非早饭结束前有人在十分钟之内 |
| [10:33] | Before breakfast is over. | 把这些全吃了 |
| [10:36] | No, no, no! | 不要 不要 |
| [10:38] | Ted, do not give me that look! | 泰德 别那么看我 |
| [10:39] | A mountain of food. | 堆成山的食物 |
| [10:40] | A ticking clock? Come on! | 还有倒计时 来吧 |
| [10:41] | You live for this stuff! | 你就是为这个而生的 |
| [10:43] | No, I’m not a wild animal. | 不 我又不是野生动物 |
| [10:45] | I’m a columbia-educated lawyer, | 我是哥伦比亚毕业的律师 |
| [10:47] | Poised to become a judge before age 35. | 在35岁之前就当上了法官 |
| [10:50] | And remind me, how did you celebrate | 这倒提醒我了 你被哥伦比亚大学录取的时候 |
| [10:51] | Getting accepted into columbia? | 是怎么庆祝的来着 |
| [10:53] | You eat one eight-pound block of fudge | 12分钟内猛灌八磅软糖 |
| [10:56] | In 12 minutes and you’re marked for life. | 在我幼小的心灵上留下了不可磨灭的伤痕 |
| [10:58] | You’re not marked for life… | 你才没有伤痕呢 |
| [11:00] | Big fudge. | 大软糖 |
| [11:01] | I’m out, okay? | 我洗手不干了 好吧 |
| [11:02] | You eat the bacon. | 你把培根吃了 |
| [11:03] | You know I can’t. | 你知道我不行 |
| [11:05] | -I’m allergic. -Ted. | -我过敏 -泰德 |
| [11:06] | I’ve been trying to tell you this for years. | 这几年我都想告诉你 |
| [11:08] | Your bacon allergy is a lie | 你对培根过敏是假的 |
| [11:09] | Your mother made up so you’d eat healthy as a kid. | 你妈妈骗你的 这样你小时候的饮食才健康 |
| [11:12] | No, I’m just allergic to a lot of stuff. | 不 我是对很多东西都过敏 |
| [11:14] | Bacon, doughnuts, | 培根 甜甜圈 |
| [11:15] | Halloween candy. | 万圣节糖果 |
| [11:18] | Not saying thank you. | 不说谢谢 |
| [11:20] | Oh, my god! | 哦 我了个擦 |
| [11:21] | That bitch lied to me! | 那老东西骗我 |
| [11:23] | Okay, I’ll-I’ll do it. | 好吧 我吃 |
| [11:26] | But I… Look, I don’t, I don’t even know if I’ll like bacon. | 不过 我都不确定我喜不喜欢培根 |
| [11:35] | What do you think? | 怎么样 |
| [11:39] | I have seen the face of god. | 我看见上帝的真容了 |
| [11:44] | Okay, there is one thing we haven’t tried yet. | 好了 只有一个方法没试过了 |
| [11:47] | Making out with each other. | 咱们百合吧 |
| [11:49] | You really think that will wake him up? | 你真觉得这样能弄醒他 |
| [11:51] | Wake up who now? | 弄醒谁 |
| [11:55] | Look at this soggy bag of snot. | 瞧瞧这滩湿热翔 |
| [11:57] | That’s it, I am joining marshall’s vow. | 够了 我也跟着马修发誓 |
| [11:59] | I am never, ever getting that drunk again. | 我永远永远也不会喝这么醉了 |
| [12:03] | Kids, you see where this is going. | 孩子们 你们懂的 |
| [12:05] | 布宜诺斯艾利斯 阿根廷 2016年 | |
| [12:08] | Did last night really happen? | 昨晚那是真的吗 |
| [12:11] | I think so. | 我觉得是 |
| [12:13] | Look, let’s just agree. | 咱说好了 |
| [12:15] | Absolute silence for the rest of the day. | 今天一天谁都别说话 |
| [12:21] | Every time. | 又来了 |
| [12:22] | You want me to get her? | 你要我去抱她吗 |
| [12:23] | No, I got her. | 不了 我来吧 |
| [12:28] | Yeah, I know, I know. | 好宝贝 不哭啊 乖 |
| [12:36] | Hey, barney? | 嘿 巴尼 |
| [12:37] | Yeah? | 怎么了 |
| [12:38] | Whose baby is this? | 这孩子是谁的啊 |
| [12:40] | 你们在这干吗 | |
| [12:43] | 你们房间在厅对面 | |
| [12:47] | Uh, pardon. | 呃 真对不起 |
| [12:48] | 傻逼美国酒鬼 | |
| [12:52] | How could you, mom?! | 妈你怎么能这样对我呢 |
| [12:53] | You had the map to heaven | 你拥有通往天堂的地图 |
| [12:55] | and you never showed me the way. | 却从没给我指过路 |
| [12:57] | May you rot in the bacon-less hell | 愿你在没有培根的地狱里腐烂 |
| [12:59] | that I’ve lived in my entire life. | 就像我之前的人生一样 |
| [13:01] | Yeah, they-they, uh, crisp it up real nice here. | 是啊 这些培根 脆香美味刚刚好啊 |
| [13:04] | -Don’t they? -Mm-hmm. | -是不是 -那当然了 |
| [13:05] | What is that– applewood smoked? | 那是用什么熏的 苹果木吗 |
| [13:06] | You know what, ted, | 我跟你说啊 泰德 |
| [13:07] | You’ve been going at it real hard. | 这培根你可是吃了不少了 |
| [13:08] | Why don’t you take a breather? | 要不你休息一下吧 |
| [13:10] | And I’ll drive us home. | 我开车 咱俩回家 |
| [13:14] | Well, congratulations. | 恭喜你们 |
| [13:16] | Here’s your grease. | 这是你们要的荤油 |
| [13:17] | No! | 不许碰 |
| [13:19] | I don’t want to lose a finger. | 你回来再把我手指头咬掉了 |
| [13:21] | -Here. -Thanks. | -给 -谢了 |
| [13:22] | All right, ted, let’s go. | 好了 泰德 咱走吧 |
| [13:23] | No, no! | 不 不走 |
| [13:25] | I finally found the one, marshall. | 我终于找到了我的另一半了 马修 |
| [13:27] | Her name is bacon. | 她的名字叫培根 |
| [13:30] | You know, this would go great on one of my mom’s LT sandwiches. | 跟你说 我妈做的生菜番茄三明治里要是加上这个就完美了 |
| [13:30] | BLT sandwich 培根生菜番茄三明治 | |
| [13:32] | Buddy, you got to take it easy. | 哥们儿 你可得悠着点啊 |
| [13:34] | Never! | 就不 |
| [13:35] | I got a lifetime without bacon to make up for. | 我今儿要把我这辈子没吃的培根都补回来 |
| [13:38] | I will keep eating and eating | 我就一直吃一直吃 |
| [13:39] | and eating… Oh, god, help me. | 一直吃到…我的天 救救我 |
| [13:41] | I’m going down. | 我不行了 |
| [13:42] | And that’s the first | 这是我这辈子第一次 |
| [13:44] | and last time I ever ate bacon. | 也是唯一一次吃培根 |
| [13:47] | He’s not waking up! | 他就是不醒 |
| [13:48] | I’m out of ideas! | 我黔驴技穷了 |
| [13:49] | We’ve tried everything! | 咱俩可什么方法都试过了啊 |
| [13:51] | Not everything. | 还有一种没试过 |
| [13:53] | Lily Aldrin? | 莉莉•艾尔德林 |
| [13:55] | Let’s make out. | 我们百合吧 |
| [13:58] | Are you sure?! | 你确定吗 |
| [13:59] | Yeah, baby, I’m sure. | 当然 宝贝 我确定 |
| [14:01] | Um… | 那么… |
| [14:03] | Okay, well, you know what? I mean… | 好吧 不过 你看啊 我是说 |
| [14:05] | It probably won’t even work. | 这可能根本就行不通呢 |
| [14:07] | And it was stupid. | 而且这样做也好傻嘛 |
| [14:09] | I’m stupid. | 我也好傻嘛 |
| [14:11] | You’re beautiful. | 你真美 |
| [14:19] | More, more, more, more, more, more, more, more. | 继续 别停 继续 别停 继续 别停 继续 别停 |
| [14:21] | Whoa, he’s awake! | 天哪 他醒了 |
| [14:22] | How’d you do it?! | 你们怎么做到的 |
| [14:24] | Nothing special. | 没干什么特别的事儿啊 |
| [14:25] | Hydration, patience. | 给他喝水啦 有点耐心啦 |
| [14:26] | Quick, before he passes out again. | 快问 不然他又躺下了 |
| [14:27] | Barney! | 巴尼 |
| [14:28] | What’s the secret ingredient | 斯丁森宿醉灵的最后一个 |
| [14:30] | in Stinson’s hangover fixer elixir? | 神秘配方到底是什么 |
| [14:33] | Come on, stay with us. | 挺住 清醒点 |
| [14:34] | The secret ingredient | 神秘配方 |
| [14:36] | is… | 是… |
| [14:38] | Nothing. | 什么也不是 |
| [14:39] | Huh? | 你说什么 |
| [14:40] | I ate too much bacon. | 我吃太多培根了 |
| [14:43] | Stinson’s hangover fixer elixir | 斯丁森宿醉灵 |
| [14:45] | is a lie. | 是我骗你们的 |
| [14:48] | That’s the secret. | 这就是秘方 |
| [14:51] | You… | 你… |
| [14:53] | You know, I could use a little lie-down myself. | 我觉得我也得躺一会儿了 |
| [14:56] | So, Stinson’s hangover fixer elixir is a lie? | 这么说 根本就没有什么斯丁森宿醉灵吗 |
| [15:00] | Why would you lie about that? | 你干嘛要这么骗我们啊 |
| [15:02] | just tomess with us? | 就为了拿我们找乐吗 |
| [15:03] | Like that one jerk in every high school | 就跟每个高中都有一个学生 |
| [15:06] | who brings in fake mushrooms | 用假蘑菇骗人 |
| [15:07] | just to see who’s gullible enough | 就为了看谁会傻到 |
| [15:08] | to think they’re tripping? | 真的认为蘑菇会走路么 |
| [15:09] | Damn you, Ollie Gunderson. | 你大爷的 奥利•冈德森 |
| [15:11] | I knew those shrooms tasted like sea-monkeys. | 我就觉得那些蘑菇跟丰年虾的味儿差不多 |
| [15:11] | sea-monkeys 一种虾 可用作鱼饲料 国内多称作”丰年虾” | |
| [15:14] | How do you know what sea-monkeys taste like? | 你怎么知道丰年虾是什么味儿的啊 |
| [15:16] | My older brothers are not… | 我的哥哥们… |
| [15:17] | the best people. | 也不是什么好人 |
| [15:19] | Why did you lie? | 你干嘛要骗我们呢 |
| [15:20] | I… | 我… |
| [15:22] | Love you guys. | 爱你们啊 |
| [15:27] | He loves us? | 他爱我们吗 |
| [15:29] | Let’s throw him down the stairs again. | 咱再给他从楼梯上扔下去一次吧 |
| [15:31] | -Yeah! -Yeah! | -好啊 -好啊 |
| [15:32] | Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Think about it. | 等会儿等会儿等会儿 你们仔细想想 |
| [15:33] | The first time Barney | 巴尼第一次给咱们 |
| [15:34] | gave us that drink, | 喝那个东西的时候 |
| [15:35] | those hangovers all happened | 咱们的宿醉都发生在 |
| [15:36] | at the worst possible moments. | 人生中最灰暗的时刻 |
| [15:38] | 六年前 | |
| [15:38] | Remember? Marshall thought he botched day two | 记得吗 马修在他律师资格考试期间的第二天 |
| [15:40] | 全美各州律师资格考试 为期最少两天 一些州为期三天 | |
| [15:40] | of the bar exam, so he freaked out that night and got wasted? | 他压力太大了 然后喝了个烂醉 |
| [15:43] | Now I’m gonna miss the last day of the bar? | 现在我连最后一天的考试都赶不上了 |
| [15:45] | I’ll never be a lawyer! | 我这辈子都当不成法官了 |
| [15:47] | I should just go back to being a manager at structure. | 我应该回去当个组织结构管理者的 |
| [15:49] | That ten percent off all vests sale? | 知道那个全场背心九折优惠吗 |
| [15:51] | That was my idea! | 那是我的点子 |
| [15:52] | As was cutting the arms off | 其实就是把所有卖不出去的衬衣的 |
| [15:54] | all the shirts that weren’t selling. | 袖子剪了 当背心卖出去 |
| [15:55] | That’s where I belong. | 我就应该干那个 |
| [15:57] | No, marshall. | 不是的 马修 |
| [15:59] | You’re gonna be a lawyer. | 你会成为一名律师的 |
| [15:59] | 一年半前 | |
| [16:00] | No, I can’t do it. | 不 我做不到的 |
| [16:02] | Yes, you can. Your first day back live on the air | 你能做到的 你第一天重回直播间的时候 |
| [16:04] | is gonna be legend– wait for it– | 那场面 一定是 传…等一下… |
| [16:07] | 两年前 | |
| [16:07] | Dary! | 奇 |
| [16:08] | Your kindergarten field trip | 今天你们幼儿园组织的 |
| [16:10] | to the Jackhammer and Siren Museum today… | “手提钻与汽笛博物馆”之旅 |
| [16:13] | …Is gonna be legendary. | 一定会是传奇 |
| [16:15] | 四年半前 | |
| [16:15] | No, it’s not. | 不 才不会呢 |
| [16:16] | Nothing’s ever gonna be legendary again. | 再也没有传奇了 |
| [16:18] | I-I’m never gonna recover from this. | 我永远走不出这个阴影的 |
| [16:21] | It’s just a hangover, ted. | 不就是喝醉了嘛 泰德 |
| [16:22] | Not that! | 不是那个 |
| [16:23] | I got left at the altar, barney. | 我刚被人甩在圣坛上了啊 巴尼 |
| [16:26] | I’m now a guy who got left at the altar. | 我现在是一个被人甩在圣坛上的人了 |
| [16:30] | There’s no coming back from that. | 再没有好转的可能了 |
| [16:32] | Drink this. | 喝了这个 |
| [16:34] | You’re gonna be okay. | 你会没事的 |
| [16:37] | Barney made up the stinson’s hangover fixer elixir | 巴尼胡编了所谓的斯丁森宿醉灵 |
| [16:40] | So we would all believe that we could rally. | 却让我们都相信了 我们可以挺过来 |
| [16:43] | I mean, even though it’s fake, it-it worked. | 虽然是假的 但它起到了效果 |
| [16:46] | Like-like dumbo’s feather. | 就好像丹波的神奇羽毛 |
| [16:46] | 迪士尼动画«小飞象»中 一只鸟给了丹波一根神奇羽毛 让丹波以为自己可以飞翔了 | |
| [16:47] | Dum-bro’s feather. | 丹哥的神奇羽毛 |
| [16:49] | A placebo. | 心灵安慰剂 |
| [16:50] | Place-bro. | 兄灵安慰剂 |
| [16:52] | A sugar pill. | 小糖丸 |
| [16:56] | He lied so we’d be okay. | 他用胡扯让我们复原 |
| [16:59] | Barney does love us. | 巴尼真的好爱我们 |
| [17:02] | I wish we could help him out the way he helped us. | 真希望我们能用他帮我们的办法 帮到他 |
| [17:05] | But the wedding photos are in 20 minutes. | 但是不到二十分钟就要开始拍婚礼照片了啊 |
| [17:07] | my dad’s gonna be so pissed. | 我爸肯定要气炸了 |
| [17:09] | Yup. | 没错 |
| [17:11] | Barney’s a dead man. | 巴尼现在死人一只 |
| [17:16] | 老巴去度假 | |
| [17:26] | Barney? | 巴尼 |
| [17:27] | You were always a bit… | 你是有点… |
| [17:28] | Chatty and blond | 话痨 还是 金发话痨 |
| [17:31] | For my taste. Like a woman. | 对我来说 跟娘们一样 |
| [17:32] | But this new side of you– | 但是这新一面的你 |
| [17:35] | Quiet, | 安静 |
| [17:36] | Steady? | 稳重 |
| [17:38] | I like it! | 我很喜欢 |
| [17:40] | You’ve earned my respect today, son. | 儿子 今天你赢得了我的尊重 |
| [17:43] | I request the highest of fives. | 我要和你击出最高荣誉的掌 |
| [17:44] | -Oh, no. -Stay cool. | -哦 天啊 -淡定 |
| [17:46] | I got this. | 我来解决 |
| [17:54] | I don’t believe this. | 我真不敢相信 |
| [17:56] | You did weekend at barney’s. | 你们用了老巴去度假这一招 |
| [17:58] | And it worked. | 而且竟然奏效了 |
| [17:59] | God, today’s gonna be all downhill from here. | 天啊 今天最好也不过如此了 |
| [18:02] | That’s what the bride wants to hear. | 哇 这话说的新娘真爱听 |
| [18:04] | No, that’s not what I meant. | 不 我不是那个意思 |
| [18:05] | I just mean weekend at barney’s | 我是说老巴去度假 |
| [18:07] | Is a thousand times more amazing than our wedding could ever be. | 绝对比我们的婚礼精彩一千倍 |
| [18:10] | I’m gonna get some more coffee. I can’t wait to see the photos! | 我去弄点咖啡喝 我可等不及看照片了 |
| [18:15] | Well, he bought it. | 嗯 他信了 |
| [18:17] | We lied out of love. | 我们也是善意的谎言啊 |
| [18:18] | Look how happy he is. | 看看他有多开心啊 |
| [18:19] | I mean, he has no idea we had to cancel | 他完全不知道我们取消了 |
| [18:21] | The wedding photos and my dad was so angry, | 婚礼拍照 然后我爸暴怒 |
| [18:23] | He came up to our room and kicked barney in the crotch. | 冲进我们的屋子对他的裆部一顿暴踢这回事了 |
| [18:25] | And the best part is your dad has no idea. | 这其中最好的一点就是 你爸爸完全不知道 |
| [18:28] | He still loves me. | 他依然爱我 |
| [18:30] | Hey, do anyone else’s balls hurt? | 另外 有人和我一样蛋蛋很疼吗 |
| [18:33] | And, look, | 嗯 这样 |
| [18:34] | Some good came out of all this. | 还是有些好事情发生的 |
| [18:35] | Seeing you like that, we all vowed | 看你醉成那样 我们都发誓了 |
| [18:37] | Never to get that drunk again. | 永远都不会喝得那么醉了 |
| [18:39] | Well, actually I didn’t. | 嗯 其实我没有 |
| [18:41] | But I will now. | 但是我现在发誓 |
| [18:42] | Never again. | 再也不喝这么醉了 |
| [18:43] | -Never again. -Never again. | -再也不喝这么醉了 -再也不喝这么醉了 |
| [18:45] | Kids, no matter how hard we try, | 孩子们 不管我们有多努力 |
| [18:46] | Even the best of us go a little too wild sometimes. | 即使在我们最佳状态的时候也会把持不住自己 |
| [18:49] | 2022年元旦 | |
| [18:49] | And in those moments, we all need | 但是在那些时光里 我们真正需要的 |
| [18:52] | Someone who loves us to help us rally. | 就是爱我们的人帮我们一把 让我们继续前进 |
| [18:58] | -Happy new year. Okay. | -新年快乐 -好的 |
| [19:00] | That was, that was way too loud. | 刚才那声音实在是太大了 |
| [19:02] | You’re practically screaming. | 你简直就是在对我吼叫 |
| [19:04] | What you need is stinson’s hangover fixer elixir. | 你现在需要斯丁森宿醉灵 |
| [19:09] | Even if that means lying once in a while. | 尽管意味着撒一两个小谎 |
| [19:11] | Does it work? | 真管用吗 |
| [19:12] | Totally works. | 绝对管用 |
| [19:17] | It’s normal, it’s totally normal. | 正常反应 慢慢喝 |
| [19:22] | I love you so much. | 我好爱你 |
| [19:24] | I love you, too. | 我也爱你 |
| [19:25] | Whoop, whoop. | 快 快 |
| [19:27] | Better drink it fast. | 最好快点喝 |
| [19:28] | Mommy! | 妈咪 |
| [19:29] | Hey, look who it is! | 嘿 看看谁来啦 |
| [19:30] | Get her! | 抱住她 |
| [19:37] | I can’t believe we kissed today. | 我真不敢相信我们今天接吻了 |
| [19:39] | Weird. | 奇怪吧 |
| [19:41] | I-I feel kind of bad | 我倒挺替 |
| [19:42] | That, um, ted and marshall missed it. | 马修和泰德感到遗憾的 他们都没看到 |
| [19:45] | Hey, we should kiss one more time | 嘿 我们应该在他们面前 |
| [19:47] | In front of them just to, like, blow their minds. | 再亲一次 就那样 让他们吓尿… |
| [19:51] | Right? | 是吧 |
| [19:52] | Nah, I don’t think so. | 不 我看还是算了吧 |
| [19:54] | Exactly, totally. | 就是 对 |
| [19:55] | Ha-ha, guys, you don’t get to see this kiss either. | 哈哈 那两位 你们也看不到我们俩接吻 |
| [19:59] | So, where should we go? | 所以我们去哪 |
| [20:00] | Closet, patio? | 衣柜 阁楼 |
| [20:02] | Ooh, I think the sauna’s open. | 哦 我记得桑拿还开着 |
| [20:04] | Well, I… Actually… | 嗯 我…其实… |
| [20:05] | To be honest, it-it felt kind of weird to me. | 实话说 对我来说 感觉怪怪的 |
| [20:09] | Once was enough. | 一次就够了 |
| [20:10] | Totally. | 就是 |
| [20:11] | We could kiss. | 我们可以亲 |
| [20:12] | We could not kiss. | 也可以不亲 |
| [20:13] | We could kiss. | 但我们可以亲 |
| [20:15] | Doesn’t matter to me. | 对我来说没什么 |
| [20:16] | It’s stupid. | 这想法可真傻 |
| [20:17] | I’m stupid. | 我真傻 |
| [20:21] | So stupid. | 太傻了 |
| [20:31] | 欢迎关注百度老爸老妈浪漫史贴吧 |