英文名称：International Falls
年代：2019
推荐：千部英美剧台词本阅读
| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [01:35] | Hey, Dee. Did you find them? | 迪 你找着了吗 |
| [01:39] | Yeah. | 找着了 |
| [01:41] | Yeah, I got them right here. | 就在这儿 |
| [01:48] | You coming to the show tonight? | 你要看今晚的表演吗 |
| [01:51] | I don’t know. | 我不清楚 |
| [01:53] | Probably not. | 或许不看 |
| [01:54] | You love the comedy nights. | 你喜欢喜剧之夜的 |
| [01:57] | – It’s supposed to snow. – They said maybe tomorrow. | -据说会下雪 -可能是明天 |
| [02:00] | – Yeah, I know. – So you should come. | -是的 我知道 -那你应该来看 |
| [02:02] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [02:03] | Oh, hey, I gotcha something. | 看 我得到一件宝贝 |
| [02:04] | 怎样成为 一名喜剧演员 | |
| [02:07] | – Thanks. – I was at a bookstore in Duluth a couple weeks ago. | -谢谢你 -我几周前在德卢斯的一家书店买的 |
| [02:11] | Do you have that one? | 你有那本吗 |
| [02:13] | No, and I have a few. | 没有 不过我有一些同类书 |
| [02:16] | – Thanks, Ruthie. – No problem. | -谢谢你 露丝 -不用谢 |
| [02:18] | It was like 50 cents. | 只花了差不多五十美分 |
| [02:25] | – Hey. – Hey. Have you left work yet? | -喂 -喂 你已经下班了吗 |
| [02:28] | No, uh, about another half hour or so. | 没呢 大约还得半个小时 |
| [02:30] | Oh, good, glad I caught you. | 真好 还好赶上了 |
| [02:32] | Uh, you think you could stop by Tom’s on the way home? | 你回家时能去一下汤姆店吗 |
| [02:35] | I checked this morning and you’re way past due on the oil. | 我今早检查过 机油该换了 |
| [02:39] | Yeah, I could do that. | 好的 交给我吧 |
| [02:39] | Oh, good. Uh, better today than tomorrow. | 太好了 越早换越好 |
| [02:42] | It’s supposed to snow, you know. | 据说会下雪 你知道吧 |
| [02:44] | Yeah, I know, I know. | 是的 我知道 |
| [02:45] | So, uh, does this mean I still have to pick up the girls? | 还是我去接女儿们吗 |
| [02:48] | Yeah, yeah, if you don’t mind. | 嗯 对 如果你不介意的话 |
| [02:51] | No, I don’t mind. | 是的 我不介意 |
| [02:53] | Okay, I’ll see you at home. | 好 回家见 |
| [02:54] | Love you. | 我爱你 |
| [02:56] | Love you. | 爱你 |
| [03:02] | Should I get a tattoo? | 你觉得我应该弄个纹身吗 |
| [03:04] | I want to get a tattoo. | 我想纹身 |
| [03:05] | – What’s stopping you? – My mom. | -你在担心什么 -我妈 |
| [03:08] | Your mom? | 你妈吗 |
| [03:10] | Ruthie, you’re 23-years-old. | 露丝 你已经二十三岁了 |
| [03:13] | Twenty two. | 二十二岁 |
| [03:14] | Her house, her rules. | 我住她那儿 她是老大 |
| [03:16] | Then get it somewhere where she can’t see it. | 那就在她看不到的地方纹 |
| [03:17] | Like where, like between my toes? | 比如哪儿 我的脚趾缝吗 |
| 本电影台词包含不重复单词：1146个。 其中的生词包含：四级词汇：140个，六级词汇：71个，GRE词汇：67个，托福词汇：107个，考研词汇：156个，专四词汇：123个，专八词汇：26个， 所有生词标注共：316个。 定制生词标注的台词本和单词统计，请访问生词标注台词本 | ||
| [03:19] | No, like in your vagina. | 不 比如你的私处 |
| [03:20] | And I don’t mean like around it, | 而且我不是指私处周边 |
| [03:23] | I mean like… inside it. | 我指的是 私处里面 |
| [03:26] | – Like get in there. – Like… | -比如深入进去 -好像 |
| [03:28] | …that sounds really painful. | 听起来真的好痛啊 |
| [03:29] | No, it’s not painful at all up there. | 不 那里一点也不痛 |
| [03:31] | Have you gotten a tattoo inside your vagina? | 你已经在私处里纹了一个吗 |
| [03:32] | Yes, I have. I’ve got like the constellations. | 是的 我纹过 我纹的是星座图案 |
| [03:35] | You know, it’s sort of like an observatory up there. | 你知道吗 那有点像一座天文台 |
| [03:37] | Like the Milky Way, Big Dipper. | 有银河 大熊星座 |
| [03:39] | Wait, so what, what should mine be then? | 等等 那我应该纹什么 |
| [03:42] | You should get like a groundhog up there. | 你应该在那上面纹一只土拨鼠 |
| [03:44] | – I like that. – Yeah. | -我喜欢这个 -是啊 |
| [03:45] | That way, you know, you’ll know, | 那样的话 你会感受到 |
| [03:47] | – it’s spring. – It’s spring. | -春天 -春天 |
| [03:48] | Fuck this! | 他妈的 |
| [03:50] | Cold as fuck. | 真他妈冷 |
| [03:58] | Hi. Sorry. | 不好意思 |
| [04:01] | Cold outside. | 外面太冷了 |
| [04:03] | – Checking in? – Yeah. Uh, Tim Fletcher for two nights. | -登记入住吗 -是的 蒂姆·弗莱彻 住两晚 |
| [04:07] | Oh, you’re the comedian. | 你是那个喜剧演员 |
| [04:09] | Yeah. | 是的 |
| [04:11] | Very edgy. | 真前卫 |
| [04:16] | You think so? | 你这么想吗 |
| [04:17] | Yeah, you got a real Steve Guttenberg thing going on. | 你像斯蒂夫·古根伯格演的角色的现实版 |
| [04:20] | Wow, you’re old. | 你真老 |
| [04:24] | Okay. You’re going to be in room 109. That’s on the first floor. | 给你开了109号房间 在一楼 |
| [04:28] | Oh, you guys have the ones on the first floor. | 你们给单身人士都安排在一楼啊 |
| [04:31] | Yes, sir! | 是的 先生 |
| [04:32] | Can we help you with anything else? | 您还有什么需要帮助的吗 |
| [04:33] | Um, actually, if there’s a liquor store that would be helpful, | 实际上 如果能推荐一家烟酒店就好了 |
| [04:36] | and maybe fast food. | 还有快餐店 |
| [04:37] | But not like those local kitschy kind, | 但不要本地太土气的那种 |
| [04:40] | like from Food Network. | 比如美食网上推荐的 |
| [04:42] | Maybe some chains with poison to fuel my body. | 那种可能会在某些环节投毒 |
| [04:44] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [04:45] | Well, there’s the, um, Chocolate Mousse on Third Avenue. | 第三大道有一家巧克力慕斯店 |
| [04:49] | Their Big Moose Combo will change your life. | 那家的大麋鹿组合超好吃 |
| [04:52] | Or if you’re in the mood for some breakfast, | 或者如果你想吃早点 |
| [04:53] | the Angler’s Hungry Man, that’ll do you right. | 昂勒尔的饥饿男人会很适合你 |
| [04:55] | And then if you want liquor, you can go | 如果你想喝酒 你可以去 |
| [04:57] | to Bootlegger’s, that’s on Second Avenue which is… | 盗版者店 在第二大道 也就是 |
| [04:59] | Do you have GPS? | 你有GPS吗 |
| [05:00] | No, I’m a caveman. | 没有 我是个穴居人 |
| [05:02] | I was recently unfrozen, so. | 我最近才出来活动 所以 |
| [05:04] | Oh, wow, then you’re older than I am. | 原来是这样啊 那你比我还老 |
| [05:07] | Do you know Pauly Shore? | 你认识保利·肖尔吗 |
| [05:08] | He wishes. | 他想认识我 |
| [05:09] | These should work. | 这些应该能帮到你 |
| [05:13] | Thank you. | 谢谢你们 |
| [05:15] | Have a nice day. | 祝你度过愉快的一天 |
| [05:17] | Don’t tell me what to do. | 不要告诉我该怎样过 |
| [05:20] | You know, they say once you visit International Falls, | 别人都说一旦你来到国际瀑布城 |
| [05:22] | it’s hard to leave. | 就舍不得离开了 |
| [05:23] | Well, they said the same thing about Siberia under Stalin, so. | 别人还说过斯大林不想离开西伯利亚 |
| [05:27] | We’ll see. | 看看再说 |
| [05:30] | He seems like a dick. | 他看起来像个混蛋 |
| [05:32] | Yeah, most of them are. | 他们大多数都是 |
| [05:34] | Have you heard of him? | 你听说过他吗 |
| [05:36] | No. | 没有 |
| [05:38] | We don’t get the kind of people you’ve heard of. | 你听说过的那种名人不会来这儿 |
| [05:54] | 国 际 瀑 布 城 欢迎您 | |
| [06:14] | I can’t do it. Hold on, hold on one second. | 我无能为力 坚持住 坚持一会儿 |
| [06:16] | I’m, I’m… | 我正在 |
| [06:18] | But I’m hungry and I don’t want to eat chicken nuggets. | 但是我饿了而且我不想吃鸡块 |
| [06:19] | 我今天买了一些甜甜圈 很好吃 | |
| [06:25] | Hey, it’s me. | 喂 是我 |
| [06:27] | I am checking in. | 我在酒店 |
| [06:29] | Give me a call. | 给我回电话 |
| [06:52] | Oh, cold out there, isn’t it? | 外面很冷 对吗 |
| [06:54] | – Hello. – Some people don’t like to go out in the cold. | -你好 -有些人不喜欢天冷时外出 |
| [06:56] | I don’t mind it, I can… | 我不在意天气 我可以 |
| [06:57] | Sometimes I just sit out there and drink a pop. | 有时我会坐在外面喝汽水 |
| [07:00] | I see. | 我理解 |
| [07:01] | We stay, ah, open, ah, during the week really late. | 我们工作日期间都营业到很晚 |
| [07:05] | So if you need to come back here, you know. | 如果你想再光临本店的话 |
| [07:08] | You smoke? We got some, um, cigarette stuffs up here, uh, | 你抽烟吗 我们进了一些货 |
| [07:12] | if you do. I, I stopped… | 如果你需要 我戒了 |
| [07:14] | smoking. They say it can give you cancer. | 戒烟了 听说抽烟会得癌症 |
| [07:17] | I don’t want that again. | 我不想再抽了 |
| [07:20] | I think I’m just going to go with, um, the vodka. | 我买点伏特加就行 |
| [07:23] | Oh, okay. Uh, any special kind? | 好的 有特别口味吗 |
| [07:26] | I think vodka’s vodka. | 我以为伏特加只有一种 |
| [07:27] | Well, it’s not, but I’ll give you | 好吧 不止一种 那我给你拿 |
| [07:29] | one of my favorites, okay? | 我最爱喝的一种 可以吗 |
| [07:34] | Hmm, love this stuff. | 你会爱上它的 |
| [07:36] | Anything else? | 还要点别的吗 |
| [07:37] | Maybe, uh, a really good scotch. | 来一瓶上好的苏格兰威士忌吧 |
| [07:40] | Oh, yes, there is, sir. | 好的 有 先生 |
| [07:44] | Not cheap, but this is the good stuff right here. | 有点贵但 是瓶好酒 |
| [07:47] | – Only the best. – Yeah. Anything else? | -我只要最好的 -还要什么吗 |
| [07:52] | You know what? Can I have this guy too? | 我还想买这个公仔 |
| [07:56] | Somebody has a soft spot, huh? | 你对这些情有独钟啊 |
| [07:59] | So, uh, you, uh, from around here? | 你是这附近的人吗 |
| [08:02] | No, just passing through. | 不是 我只是路过这儿 |
| [08:04] | Yeah, what, uh, business are you in? | 你做什么工作的 |
| [08:07] | I’m in plastics. | 做塑料的 |
| [08:10] | I’m joking. | 我开玩笑的 |
| [08:11] | I’m a comedian. | 我是个喜剧演员 |
| [08:15] | I’m doing a couple shows, uh, tonight and tomorrow night. | 我有两场表演 今晚和明晚 |
| [08:17] | – Oh, at the hotel. – Yeah. | -是在酒店吧 -是的 |
| [08:19] | You know, my husband and I, | 我和我丈夫 |
| [08:21] | we have been meaning to go to one of those. | 我们已经商量好去看其中一场 |
| [08:24] | I wouldn’t bother. I’m not very good. | 我不介意 我演得不是很好 |
| [08:29] | No, I, I, I’m really not very good. | 真的 我真的演得不好 |
| [08:33] | Okay, okay. All right, uh. | 好吧 都选好了吧 |
| [08:37] | So, uh, well. | 很好 |
| [08:40] | I wish you a lot of luck. | 祝你好运连连 |
| [08:43] | You know what they say. | 你知道别人怎么说吗 |
| [08:44] | Once you visit International Falls… | 一旦你来到国际瀑布城 |
| [08:46] | You don’t want to leave. | 你就不想离开了 |
| [08:47] | Yes! You, | 对 你 |
| [08:49] | you know. | 你知道了 |
| [08:50] | Well, just you watch me. | 那么 就看我会不会了 |
| [09:01] | – Dad! – Daddy! | -爸 -爸爸 |
| [09:02] | Hey, there’s my girls. | 我的女孩儿们 |
| [09:05] | Hey, there, beautiful. | 那边的美女 |
| [09:07] | How was school today? | 今天上学感觉如何 |
| [09:08] | – Boring. – Good. | -无聊 -很好 |
| [09:10] | Okay, get in there, finish your food. | 坐那边 把饭吃完 |
| [09:13] | Hey, thanks a lot for taking care of the car today. | 多亏了你今天照看车子 |
| [09:15] | Boy, I didn’t know when I was going to get around to that. | 我的话不知道要拖到什么时候 |
| [09:18] | Oh, boy, look at this. | 天啊 你看这个 |
| [09:20] | This is yummy, huh? | 很美味 对吗 |
| [09:24] | That’s why sometimes you need a push | 这就是为什么 有时你需要被逼着 |
| [09:26] | to take the plunge. | 去冒险 |
| [09:28] | Well, it sounds like you didn’t give him a chance. | 听起来你一点机会都不给他 |
| [09:31] | He is so not my type. | 他不是我喜欢的类型 |
| [09:34] | Give him a chance. | 给他个机会 |
| [09:35] | I know exactly what you mean. | 我知道你什么意思 |
| [09:40] | Fuck you. | 去你妈的 |
| [09:43] | A one, a two, a one, two, three, four! | 一 二 一 二 三 四 |
| [09:46] | ♪ I want to stay inside and go Sledding down my stairs ♪ | ♪ 我想待在家里 乘雪橇下楼梯 ♪ |
| [09:50] | Guitar solo! | 吉他独奏 |
| [09:56] | Mama! | 孩子妈 |
| [09:58] | Mama, get in here, I need some help. | 孩子妈 一起来吧 来帮帮我 |
| [09:59] | We need some backup singers. | 我们需要一些伴唱 |
| [10:01] | Mommy, you okay? | 孩子妈 可以吗 |
| [10:03] | Yeah, yeah. Um, | 好 好 |
| [10:06] | uh, would you mind if I went back and, | 你介不介意我回酒店 |
| [10:07] | and watched the comedy show tonight? | 去看今晚的喜剧表演 |
| [10:09] | I could use a laugh. | 我想乐一乐 |
| [10:12] | Yeah, sure. | 当然不介意 |
| [10:15] | Where were you when I was getting the oil changed? | 我换机油的时候你在哪儿 |
| [10:19] | Work. | 工作 |
| [10:21] | I was at work. | 我当时在工作 |
| [10:29] | I’m going to go get ready. | 我去准备一下 |
| [10:32] | Oh, my God. | 天呐 |
| [10:34] | Oh, my God, oh. | 天呐 |
| [10:51] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [10:55] | No, hey, hey. | 不 喂 |
| [10:58] | Yeah, that Siberia, | 那个西伯利亚 |
| [10:59] | Siberia joke was not funny. | 西伯利亚笑话一点也不好笑 |
| [11:07] | Aw, look at all those enthusiastic faces out there. | 看看这些热情洋溢的面孔 |
| [11:09] | Everybody got your drinks? | 你们都点好喝的了吗 |
| [11:10] | Fuck it. | 去它的 |
| [11:12] | Fuck it. | 去它的 |
| [11:12] | All right, it’s time to welcome our headliner to the stage. | 现在有请我们的表演嘉宾上台 |
| [11:15] | This guy’s been doing standup for a long time. | 他演单口喜剧很久了 |
| [11:18] | You’ve seen him on HBO, Comedy Central, and many more. | 他曾上过HBO 喜剧中央等 |
| [11:22] | Please, make a lot of noise for Mr. Tim Fletcher. | 请用热烈的掌声欢迎蒂姆·弗莱彻先生 |
| [11:28] | – Thanks, man. – Go kill it. | -谢了兄弟 -祝你好运 |
| [11:30] | What’s up! Oh, oh, stop it, stop it. It’s too much. | 发生了什么 快停下来 太热情了 |
| [11:36] | It’s too much, I mean it, I mean it. | 实在太热情了 我说真的 |
| [11:38] | Uh, keep it going. Keep it going for your opener, uh, Taylor. | 继续 继续 欢迎开场嘉宾 泰勒 |
| [11:43] | Oh, it’s Trevor, Trevor. | 不对 是特雷弗 |
| [11:45] | Sorry, these kids with their names. | 对不住 这些人的名字 |
| [11:48] | It’s like they all have different names now. | 好像现在都取得不一样了 |
| [11:50] | Uh, yeah, I’m looking around the room, | 我环顾房间 |
| [11:51] | I see some familiar faces. | 看到了一些熟面孔 |
| [11:53] | Hello and welcome. | 你们好 欢迎 |
| [11:55] | Um, it’s very nice to be here in International Falls. Um. | 我很高兴来到国际瀑布城 |
| [12:00] | I love to get away from the rat race of Duluth, you know? | 远离德卢斯的激烈竞争真好 你懂吗 |
| [12:06] | Duluth is the future. | 德卢斯代表了未来 |
| [12:08] | I mean, they just got landlines. | 我是说 他们刚安了固定电话 |
| [12:11] | So, good for Duluth, good for Duluth. Um. | 所以 德卢斯很好 它很棒 |
| [12:15] | Who here is married? | 这里有谁结婚了吗 |
| [12:16] | I’m married. Go ahead, get them up. | 我结婚了 来吧 举手 |
| [12:18] | Get them up, no shame there. | 举手 别害羞 |
| [12:20] | Yeah, this guy’s married? | 这兄弟结婚了吗 |
| [12:21] | Okay, I find that hard to believe. | 好吧 真不敢相信 |
| [12:22] | You look like a murderer. Um. | 你看起来像个杀人犯 |
| [12:25] | But, uh, I like being married, I really do. Um. | 但 我喜欢结婚 真的 |
| [12:28] | But being married changes things. | 但结婚改变了很多 |
| [12:30] | It, uh, for me it changed, uh, guys’ night. | 对我来说 男士狂欢夜变了 |
| [12:34] | I liked hearing about their sexual conquests, you know? | 以前我喜欢听他们的性征服史 你们懂吧 |
| [12:39] | I was like Cookie Monster. I was just like. | 我就像饼干怪兽 就像这样 |
| [12:43] | Tell me more, you know, I want all that shit. | 多讲点 你们懂的 我都想听 |
| [12:46] | Now, invariably, someone does this to me. | 现在 和以前一样 有人跟我讲 |
| [12:49] | Someone, someone says, “You know, Tim, | 他 他说”你知道的 蒂姆 |
| [12:53] | I was, uh, I was having sex last night. | 我 我昨晚做爱了 |
| [12:56] | I was having a lot of strange sex last night, | 用了很多奇怪的姿势 |
| [12:59] | and it was great, it was great. | 这很棒 超棒 |
| [13:01] | She was a model, probably never see her again. | 她是个模特 可能不会再见面了 |
| [13:04] | Totally hot, totally great body. | 非常性感 身材很棒 |
| [13:09] | But Tim, you’re so lucky. | 但蒂姆 你很幸运 |
| [13:11] | You’re so lucky.” | 你太幸运了” |
| [13:13] | And I’m like, “What? | 然后我就说”什么 |
| [13:16] | I mean, how, how am I lucky?” | 怎么 我怎么幸运了” |
| [13:19] | “Because you’re married and that’s beautiful.” | “因为你结婚了 那很美好” |
| [13:22] | And I’m like, “Dude, don’t do this. | 我就说”哥们 别这样 |
| [13:25] | Not on guys’ night. | 别在男士狂欢夜说这个 |
| [13:27] | Don’t you ruin guys’ night for me. | 别毁了我的狂欢夜 |
| [13:29] | Now’s not the time to be telling me | 别跟我说你有多羡慕我的婚姻 |
| [13:31] | how much you admire my commitment to my wife. | 现在不是个好时候 |
| [13:34] | Tomorrow when you find out that it burns when you pee. | 明天你尿尿时有灼痛感的时候 |
| [13:38] | Yeah, then you can tell me how swell my marriage is, | 再来告诉我婚姻有多美好 |
| [13:42] | but not tonight, not tonight.” | 但不是今晚 今晚不行” |
| [13:50] | Hello. | 你好 |
| [13:52] | You were funny tonight. | 你今晚很有趣 |
| [13:54] | Oh, thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [14:07] | Keep going. | 继续 |
| [14:14] | Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. | 停 停 停 停 停 |
| [14:29] | Thank you so much. | 非常感谢 |
| [14:36] | Can I get you a towel? | 给你拿条毛巾吗 |
| [14:38] | Uh, no, no, I can just use the sheet. | 不 不 我用床单就行了 |
| [14:40] | It’s okay. | 好的 |
| [14:42] | Well, thank you, that was really nice. | 谢谢 刚刚真的很舒服 |
| [14:46] | It was really great. | 很棒 |
| [14:52] | What? | 什么 |
| [14:53] | The, uh. | 这个 |
| [14:55] | – It was great. – Oh, uh, yeah, well, you know. | -很棒 -好吧 你知道的 |
| [14:59] | It’s not rocket science. | 这又不难 |
| [15:01] | It is if you think about it. | 如果你仔细想想 |
| [15:02] | Yeah, I try not to think about that, so. | 我试着不去想那个 所以 |
| [15:04] | – Yeah, I guess it is a little bit gross. – yeah. | -我猜有点恶心 -是的 |
| [15:14] | Uh, do you want a drink? | 你要喝一杯吗 |
| [15:18] | – Do you want a drink? – Uh, no. | -你想喝一杯吗 -不用了 |
| [15:20] | No, sorry. | 不用了 抱歉 |
| [15:22] | Uh, I have to go. | 我得走了 |
| [15:27] | Uh, okay. | 好吧 |
| [15:29] | Um, do you think you’re okay to drive? | 你开车没问题吧 |
| [15:31] | Uh, yeah, yes, uh. | 没事 |
| [15:35] | Yeah, I’m not drunk. | 我没喝醉 |
| [15:36] | You seemed kind of drunk before. | 你之前看起来像喝醉了 |
| [15:38] | Yes, I know. I was pretending. | 对 我知道 我装的 |
| [15:43] | It’s so… | 我简直 |
| [15:47] | Why did I do that? Why did I act drunk? | 我为什么这么做 我为什么要装醉 |
| [15:50] | Because it works? | 因为管用吗 |
| [15:57] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [16:24] | Please leave your message. | 请留言 |
| [16:25] | Hey, it’s me. | 喂 是我 |
| [16:28] | I was just hoping to talk to him. | 我只是想跟他聊聊 |
| [16:30] | Uh, can you guys give me a call, please? | 你们能给我回个电话吗 |
| [17:02] | Hey, babe. How was the show? | 宝贝 表演好看吗 |
| [17:03] | Hey, uh, Ruthie got sick | 露丝生病了 |
| [17:04] | and, uh, needs me to cover for her. | 所以 我要去替她的班 |
| [17:08] | – All night? – Uh, yeah, afraid so. | -整晚吗 -恐怕是的 |
| [17:10] | Oh, that stinks. | 太糟糕了 |
| [17:12] | You need me to bring you a change of clothes? | 要我给你带换洗衣服吗 |
| [17:13] | Uh, no, it’s okay, I got stuff at the hotel. | 不用 没问题 酒店都有 |
| [17:15] | Have a good night. Love you! | 晚安 爱你 |
| [17:33] | I do want that drink. | 我确实想喝一杯 |
| [17:36] | – Okay. – And that is all. | -好吧 -只是喝酒 |
| [17:38] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [17:39] | I’m not going to fuck you. | 我不会和你上床 |
| [17:42] | -Cool. – And no more hand stuff either. | -好 -也不会给你手淫 |
| [17:44] | That was horrible. | 之前太可怕了 |
| [17:46] | I agree, that was horrible. | 我同意 很可怕 |
| [17:50] | Do you still want me to come in? | 你还想让我进去吗 |
| [17:51] | More than ever. | 更想了 |
| [17:55] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [18:02] | I have, uh, vodka or vodka. | 我有 伏特加 和伏特加 |
| [18:06] | Or some scotch. | 还有一些苏格兰威士忌 |
| [18:08] | Uh, vodka, please. | 伏特加 谢谢 |
| [18:10] | Okay. | 没问题 |
| [18:13] | So, um, I take it you’re from around here. | 所以 我想你是这附近的人 |
| [18:16] | Uh, yeah, but I, I wasn’t raised here. | 对 但我不是在这长大的 |
| [18:20] | Oh, okay. | 好吧 |
| [18:26] | what, what is your name? | 你 你叫什么 |
| [18:32] | Are you serious? | 你认真的吗 |
| [18:34] | I don’t think we said our names. | 我记得我们没说过名字 |
| [18:35] | We totally said our names. | 我们绝对说过 |
| [18:41] | – What was it? – We to… | -你叫 -我们绝 |
| [18:43] | Dee. | 迪 |
| [18:44] | Dee. Yeah. | 迪 对 |
| [18:45] | Short for? | 全名是 |
| [18:47] | Nothing, just unimaginative parents. | 没有全名 只有对没创意的父母 |
| [18:49] | Oh. Well, I’m Tim. | 好吧 我叫蒂姆 |
| [18:51] | Short for Timothy. | 全名是蒂莫西 |
| [18:53] | Yes. | 是的 |
| [18:54] | I had very imaginative parents. | 我父母很有创意 |
| [18:57] | Well, why aren’t you drinking? | 你怎么不喝酒 |
| [19:00] | Ah, just not much of a drinker. | 不怎么喜欢喝 |
| [19:02] | Yeah, clearly. | 是的 很明显 |
| [19:06] | I like to be prepared to drink, | 我喜欢做好喝酒的准备 |
| [19:10] | just in case a party breaks out. | 以免突然要开派对 |
| [19:13] | So, was that a lie in your act? | 所以 你表演时撒谎了吗 |
| [19:16] | I like to drink. In fact, I love to drink | 我喜欢喝酒 事实上 我爱喝酒 |
| [19:18] | ’cause I’m good at drinking. | 因为我擅长喝酒 |
| [19:21] | But drinking for me is not a sophisticated activity. | 但喝酒对我来说并不是什么复杂的事 |
| [19:26] | You know those people that have, like, a sip. | 你知道有些人喜欢喝一小口 |
| [19:39] | And they use words like oaky or bouquet. | 然后说有橡木味或花香味之类的 |
| [19:44] | Those people, they make me want to… | 这些人 他们让我想 |
| [19:48] | Well, they make me want to drink. | 他们让我想喝酒 |
| [19:50] | They make me want to drink. In fact, I have to drink | 他们让我想喝酒 事实上 我不得不喝 |
| [19:53] | if I hang out with those people. | 如果我和那些人在一起 |
| [19:55] | Okay, so, when a comedian says, | 好吧 所以 当一个喜剧演员说 |
| [19:58] | “I went to the DMV yesterday.” | “我昨天去车管局了” |
| [20:00] | Yeah, that’s, that’s bullshit. | 是的 这 这都是放屁 |
| [20:03] | I mean, he may have gone to the DMV at some point, | 他可能确实去过车管局 |
| [20:05] | but definitely wasn’t yesterday. | 但绝对不是昨天 |
| [20:07] | Then why say yesterday? | 那为什么说成昨天 |
| [20:09] | I don’t know, I guess it’s funnier than saying, | 我不知道 我猜是为了有趣 |
| [20:11] | “I went to the DMV last year.” | 比”我去年去过车管局”好 |
| [20:13] | Yeah, well, I think it would be more funny. | 我觉得”去年”更有趣 |
| [20:14] | Then you’re making fun of the structure of the joke, | 你在取笑笑话体系 |
| [20:16] | in which case you’d be an alt comic, | 这样的话你就成了另类喜剧演员 |
| [20:19] | but what happened in the DMV | 但车管局发生的事 |
| [20:21] | has nothing to do with the punchline. | 和笑话的笑点没关系 |
| [20:22] | So then why tell the joke? | 所以为什么讲这个 |
| [20:24] | That’s a good question. | 好问题 |
| [20:26] | So. | 所以 |
| [20:30] | So was everything in your act a lie? | 所以你表演时说的全是谎话吗 |
| [20:33] | No. | 不 |
| [20:36] | So you’re married. | 所以你结婚了 |
| [20:37] | Yeah, technically. | 是的 严格来说 |
| [20:38] | I’m separated. | 我在分居 |
| [20:41] | Divorce papers being drafted as we speak. | 他们正在起草离婚协议 |
| [20:45] | -I’m sorry. – Yeah | -对不起 -没事 |
| [20:48] | – And you’re married. – Yes. | -你结婚了 -是的 |
| [20:53] | Two daughters. | 有两个女儿 |
| [21:01] | – Well, that’s out of the way. – Yeah, yeah. | -那很少见 -对 对 |
| [21:03] | Yeah. Thought that would be awkward. | 好吧 我以为那会很尴尬 |
| [21:05] | No, no. | 不 不 |
| [21:07] | No, it’s not awkward. That’s… | 不 不尴尬 就 |
| [21:09] | that’s why I’m having so much fun. | 就是这样我现在才很开心 |
| [21:11] | – Yeah, right? – Yes. | -是吗 -是的 |
| [21:16] | Do you have any drugs? | 你有毒品吗 |
| [21:22] | I have Xanax. | 我有阿普唑仑 |
| [21:23] | Oh, do you have anxiety issues? | 你有焦虑症吗 |
| [21:25] | I mean, not diagnosed. | 我是说 没有确诊 |
| [21:28] | These are actually my wife’s. | 这些其实是我妻子的 |
| [21:29] | I steal them from her when I pick up my son, | 我接儿子的时候从她那儿偷的 |
| [21:30] | little by little. | 一点点偷的 |
| [21:31] | Put them in my men’s multivitamin with testosterone booster. | 掺进我的男士维生素里 和促睾素一起 |
| [21:36] | – Sneaky. – Yeah. | -鬼鬼祟祟的 -是啊 |
| [21:37] | – Can I have half of one? – Tell you what. | -能给我半个吗 -我跟你说 |
| [21:40] | I’ll give you a whole one | 我给你一整个 |
| [21:42] | and you can portion it out however you see fit. | 你自己想分多少分多少 |
| [21:46] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [21:52] | My husband’s cheating on me. | 我丈夫出轨了 |
| [21:58] | Well, then he sounds like a real asshole. | 他听起来真混蛋 |
| [21:59] | Yeah, I’m one to talk. | 我也好不到哪去 |
| [22:03] | Does he know that you know? | 他知道你知道吗 |
| [22:04] | Nope, it’s just been business as usual. | 不 一切照旧 |
| [22:08] | For how long? | 这样多久了 |
| [22:10] | Almost a year. | 快一年了 |
| [22:11] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [22:11] | Yeah, I’ve been watching it continue to happen | 是的 我就看着它不断发生 |
| [22:13] | like a television show. | 像电视剧一样 |
| [22:17] | I thought I was good at nurturing misery. | 我还以为我已经很会折磨自己了 |
| [22:19] | How’d you find out? | 你怎么发现的 |
| [22:22] | He left an email open on the family computer and I’ve been… | 家里的电脑能登录他的邮箱 我 |
| [22:26] | – Okay. – …checking his account daily. | -好吧 -每天都会看他的邮件 |
| [22:28] | No offense, but your husband doesn’t sound too bright. | 无意冒犯 但你丈夫听起来有点笨 |
| [22:31] | None taken. | 没关系 |
| [22:36] | Um, I actually have to take this. | 我必须接这个电话 |
| [22:38] | Oh. That’s okay, you stay right here. | 没事 你在这坐一会儿吧 |
| [22:41] | Okay. | 好 |
| [22:43] | Hey, what the fuck? I’ve been trying to get… | 喂 你搞什么 我一直在打 |
| [22:46] | Well, how about a text message then? | 那为什么不回短信 |
| [22:49] | Well, for fuck’s sake. | 操 你不是吧 |
| [22:51] | I’m checking in. | 我住的酒店 |
| [22:54] | I don’t know, um. | 我不知道 |
| [22:57] | I can overnight the checks. | 我可以续住一晚 |
| [23:00] | I said I’ll overnight them. | 我说 我会续住 |
| [23:02] | Is he asleep already? | 他已经睡着了吗 |
| [23:07] | Oh, fuck. That was today? | 糟了 那是今天吗 |
| [23:10] | I missed it? | 我错过了吗 |
| [23:13] | No, I will, yeah, I got him a little, like, stuffed moose. | 是的 当然 我给他买了一个毛绒小驼鹿 |
| [23:18] | A moose from Minnesota. | 明尼苏达州的小驼鹿 |
| [23:21] | No. | 别 |
| [23:23] | No, don’t wake him. | 别叫醒他 |
| [23:27] | What’s he sleeping in? | 他穿什么睡的 |
| [23:29] | No, which pajamas. | 不 哪件睡衣 |
| [23:33] | Aw, he loves those. | 他最喜欢这些 |
| [23:36] | Can you just tell him that I called? | 告诉他我打过电话 好吗 |
| [23:39] | All right, bye. | 好的 拜 |
| [23:49] | So, which ones? | 所以 是哪件 |
| [23:51] | What? | 什么 |
| [23:53] | Which pajamas? | 是哪件睡衣 |
| [23:56] | Oh, um, the dinosaurs. | 恐龙睡衣 |
| [24:01] | Because you’re crazy about dinosaurs. | 因为你超爱恐龙 |
| [24:14] | Will you do me a favor? | 你能帮我个忙吗 |
| [24:16] | Maybe. | 说说看 |
| [24:18] | Can you stomp on my cellphone? | 你能踩烂我的手机吗 |
| [24:20] | What? | 什么 |
| [24:22] | Well, you’re wearing those sweet fucking boots | 你看 你穿着这么好看的靴子 |
| [24:24] | and I don’t really feel like putting my shoes back on, | 而且我现在真的不想穿鞋 |
| [24:26] | and it would mean a lot to me | 这对我很重要 |
| [24:27] | if you would stomp the fucking shit out of this goddamn cellphone. | 你能不能把这个该死的手机踩得稀巴烂 |
| [24:33] | Not happy with your plan? | 她不喜欢你的计划吗 |
| [24:36] | Something like that. | 算是吧 |
| [24:39] | – Oh, you’re serious? – Oh, I’m serious. | -你是认真的吗 -我是认真的 |
| [24:42] | I’ll do it. | 我会照做的 |
| [24:44] | I want you to. | 那正是我想要的 |
| [24:45] | I think you just want to see if I’ll do it, | 我觉得你只是想看看我会不会 |
| [24:46] | but I’m, I’m telling you I will, I will do it. | 但我告诉你我会做 我会的 |
| [24:51] | Then quit talking about it and fuck… | 那就别废话 赶紧 |
| [25:04] | I can’t believe you just fucking did that. | 不敢相信你竟然真的做了 |
| [25:06] | Well. | 是呀 |
| [25:07] | – That’s my phone! – I call bluffs! | -那是我的手机 -我说了我真的会踩 |
| [25:10] | You’re lucky I wasn’t bluffing. | 幸好我也是真的让你踩 |
| [25:15] | Do you need to get that? | 你要接吗 |
| [25:17] | Yeah. | 是的 |
| [25:19] | Should I… | 那我该 |
| [25:21] | – Yeah, you probably should go. – Oh. | -是的 请你回避一下 -好吧 |
| [25:23] | No, no, actually, just sit right there, please. | 不 别走 就坐那儿吧 |
| [25:26] | And for God’s sakes, pour yourself a drink, would you? | 你再倒点酒喝着 好吗 |
| [25:29] | Okay, yeah. | 好 |
| [25:31] | Hey. | 喂 |
| [25:33] | Uh, no. | 没有 |
| [25:36] | Well, why’d you call the front desk? | 你为什么打给前台 |
| [25:39] | No, well, she came back because she was feeling better | 她回来是因为她感觉好些了 |
| [25:42] | and she just came back to finish her shift, so. | 所以就回来继续上班 |
| [25:46] | No, I’m, I’m on my way home now. | 不 我 我在回家的路上了 |
| [25:49] | Yeah, okay. | 那好吧 |
| [25:52] | Okay, bye. | 好吧 拜 |
| [26:14] | Yeah, um, hey, ah. | 好吧 |
| [26:18] | That was, um, that was, that was a lie. | 我 我刚刚说谎了 |
| [26:22] | I’m actually still here and, um, I’m, I’m with a man | 我其实还在酒店 和一个男人一起 |
| [26:28] | and he’s hilarious and he’s going to help me | 他很有趣而且他会帮我 |
| [26:31] | figure out a way to kill your girlfriend, you fucking prick! | 想个方法杀了你女朋友 你个死种马 |
| [26:58] | Well, this bullshit just got real. | 好吧 这下谎言成真了 |
| [27:04] | I tell you what I like about Minnesota. | 我来讲讲我喜欢明尼苏达州的什么 |
| [27:06] | I like all the layers of clothing that you guys wear. | 我喜欢你们会穿很多件衣服 |
| [27:10] | I really do. | 真的 |
| [27:11] | Because, because you know what I miss in this country? | 因为 你们知道我想念这个国家的什么吗 |
| [27:15] | I miss shame. | 我想念 羞耻感 |
| [27:18] | Just ’cause they make it in your size | 他们把衣服做成你的尺码 |
| [27:21] | does not mean that you should wear it. | 并不意味着你就要穿它 |
| [27:24] | Right? You know, I mean, if you got, | 对吧 你们懂的 如果你 |
| [27:27] | if you got cleavage on your back, | 如果你背上有乳沟 |
| [27:31] | you cover it up. | 你要遮住它 |
| [27:34] | If you got a nice butt on your front, | 如果你前面长了个好看的屁股 |
| [27:38] | you cover it up. | 你要遮住它 |
| [27:40] | No, sir! I don’t want to look at that. | 不 先生 我不想看这个 |
| [27:45] | So, why don’t you like alt comics? | 所以你为什么不喜欢另类喜剧演员 |
| [27:47] | I never said I don’t like alt comics. | 我从没说过我不喜欢另类喜剧演员 |
| [27:50] | – Oh, so you like them. – No, I hate them. | -所以你喜欢他们 -不 我讨厌他们 |
| [27:52] | – Why? – Why? | -为什么 -为什么吗 |
| [27:54] | – Yeah. – Because they’re younger than me | -对 -因为他们比我年轻 |
| [27:56] | – and they’re cooler than me. – That’s not why. Tell me. | -还比我帅 -这都不是原因 告诉我 |
| [27:59] | Because they joke of everyone and their jokes | 因为他们取笑别人和别人的笑话 |
| [28:01] | – is that they’re telling a bad joke, right? – Yeah. | -他们的笑话很烂 对吧 -对 |
| [28:04] | So | 所以 |
| [28:05] | we’re just laughing at this dumb thing that we’re experiencing | 我们只是在嘲笑自己经历的蠢事 |
| [28:08] | instead of like… | 而不是 |
| [28:09] | Experiencing it? | 真的做了蠢事吗 |
| [28:10] | Right. Ah. | 对 |
| [28:12] | I mean, if we just keep making fun of making fun of shit, | 我是说我们只是取笑蠢事来制造笑点 |
| [28:16] | instead of actually making fun of shit, | 而不是真的在取笑蠢事 |
| [28:19] | – what are we doing? – I think we’re observing things | -我们在干什么 -我认为我们在观察事物 |
| [28:21] | that are like, right in front of our face, | 比如我们眼前发生的事情 |
| [28:23] | instead of just what’s actually happening. | 而忽视真正发生的事情 |
| [28:27] | Uh, I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
| [28:29] | You lost me. Where’s your waffle maker? | 不懂你说的 你们的华夫饼机在哪 |
| [28:31] | Um, over there, and the batter’s underneath. | 在那 墙角下面 |
| [28:35] | Hey, do you know what, um, CFNM is? | 你知道CFNM是什么吗 |
| [28:39] | CFNM? Uh. Oh, is that like a porn thing? | CFNM吗 是某种小黄片吗 |
| [28:42] | Yeah. But do you know what it actually means? | 是 但你知道它到底是哪种吗 |
| [28:45] | No, I’ve always been too scared to click on it. | 不知道 我害怕 一直不敢点开 |
| [28:47] | What’s the worst possible thing it could mean? | 它最下流可能是什么 |
| [28:52] | Crying Faces Noisy Masturbators. | 初次手淫者哭哭闹闹 |
| [28:55] | Okay. Um. | 好吧 |
| [28:58] | Cunnilingus For Nicki Minaj. | 给尼基·米纳伊舔阴 |
| [29:02] | Creepy Filthy Nasty Maids. | 猥琐下流的处女 |
| [29:03] | Crispy Fried Nut Manglers. | 脆炸坚果夹子 |
| [29:05] | Oh. | 天啊 |
| [29:07] | Cowboys Forcing Nipple Milk in. | 牛仔强迫乳头吸奶 |
| [29:09] | Cunts Fart Menstruating Nuns. | 婊子放屁修女来月经 |
| [29:12] | Ooh, you win. | 好吧 你赢了 |
| [29:16] | My husband’s into it big time. | 我丈夫对这个很感兴趣 |
| [29:18] | – Really? – Yep. | -真的吗 -是的 |
| [29:20] | But like, what does it actually stand for? | 但它到底是什么意思 |
| [29:22] | Clothed Female Naked Male. | 穿衣女和裸体男 |
| [29:25] | – Clothed Female Naked Male? – Mm-hmm. Yeah. | -穿衣女和裸体男吗 -是的 |
| [29:27] | So just like, a naked dude and a dressed chick? | 就是 一个裸男和一个穿着衣服的小妞吗 |
| [29:31] | It’s like a naked dude and like several dressed chicks. | 是一个裸男和好几个穿着衣服的小妞 |
| [29:34] | But, you know, like, one of them is going down on him while | 就是 其中一个小妞和他做爱的时候 |
| [29:37] | the other ones maybe going to give him a handy. | 其他的可能就要给他手淫 |
| [29:39] | It’s basically just, like, a real slutty bachelorette party | 基本上就是个非常放荡的单身派对 |
| [29:42] | that’s gone off the rails. | 很出格的那种 |
| [29:44] | All right, well, I don’t want to yuck anyone’s yum, | 好吧 我不想嘲笑任何人的喜好 |
| [29:46] | but that’s his thing? | 但他就喜欢这个吗 |
| [29:48] | Well, not with me. | 背着我的时候是的 |
| [29:50] | It’s, it’s just what I consistently see in his search browser. | 我总是在他的浏览记录里看到这个 |
| [29:54] | – Oh, you got to clear that shit. – I know, right? | -你一定要把这记录删了 -我知道 |
| [29:57] | Excuse me, sir. | 抱歉 先生 |
| [29:59] | Oh, hey, Ruthie. He’s with me. You remember Tim. | 露丝 他和我一起的 你还记得蒂姆吧 |
| [30:01] | Oh, yeah. Hi there. | 是的 你好 |
| [30:05] | Don’t say that. She would be great. | 别那样说 她会很棒的 |
| [30:07] | I’m not saying that she wouldn’t be great, | 我没有说她干不好 |
| [30:09] | I’m saying that she wouldn’t even want to do it. | 我是说她根本不会想干这行的 |
| [30:11] | Okay, so, why do you do it? | 好吧 那你为什么干这行 |
| [30:12] | Because, I can’t do anything else. I’m not capable. | 因为我做不了别的 我没那能力 |
| [30:15] | – Bullshit. – What do you mean, bullshit? | -胡扯 -你什么意思 |
| [30:17] | – Do you have a day job? – No. | -你有正式工作吗 -没有 |
| [30:19] | You don’t have to be mad at her, | 你没必要生她的气 |
| [30:21] | – it’s a legitimate question. – Okay, look. | -这个问题合情合理 -好吧 听着 |
| [30:24] | There’s a lot of guys like me that make a living, | 有很多像我这样赚钱谋生的人 |
| [30:27] | and just ’cause you don’t know our names… | 你只是不知道我们的名字 |
| [30:28] | Well, how’d you get on HBO or Comedy Central? | 你是怎么上HBO和喜剧中心的 |
| [30:31] | – What? – No, they said it in your intro. | -什么 -他们介绍你的时候说的 |
| [30:33] | Yeah, that’s a lie. | 那是谎言 |
| [30:35] | – Really? – You can do that? | -真的吗 -你可以这样吗 |
| [30:37] | Lie? Yeah, you can lie. | 撒谎吗 可以的 |
| [30:39] | But I haven’t had a day job in six years | 但我已经六年没有正式工作了 |
| [30:42] | and I make all my money from being on the road. | 我所有的钱都是巡演赚的 |
| [30:44] | Oh, okay, well, that’s super cool. | 好吧 那的确挺酷 |
| [30:46] | No, it’s not. I mean, yeah, maybe it’s cool to someone | 才不是 我是说对有些人来说很酷 |
| [30:50] | who’s interested in comedy | 那些对喜剧感兴趣 |
| [30:51] | who lives in International Falls, Minnesota, | 住在明尼苏达州国际瀑布城的人 |
| [30:54] | but not really. | 但其实不酷 |
| [30:57] | Well, you don’t got to be a dick about it. | 你没必要故意说得这么混蛋 |
| [30:59] | I’m not trying to be a dick. | 我没有故意要 |
| [31:00] | Okay, do you want the comedy boot camp? | 好吧 你想听喜剧训练课吗 |
| [31:03] | Here we go. I don’t know shit about getting in movies | 我开始讲了 我对拍电影 |
| [31:06] | or getting on a sitcom | 和情景喜剧一窍不通 |
| [31:08] | or getting my own Netflix special. | 也没有自己的网飞特别节目 |
| [31:10] | But if you want to get to my level, | 但如果你想达到我的水平 |
| [31:12] | you just get nice and mediocre. | 你只用变得友好和平庸就行 |
| [31:15] | Just go to a fuck load of open mics, | 去一大堆开放式舞台表演 |
| [31:17] | and then one day some guy will come along, | 然后有一天有个人会找到你 |
| [31:20] | who has no real taste or talent, | 他没有真正的品味和天赋 |
| [31:23] | but will see that he can make a little bit of money off of you. | 但他发现你能给他赚点小钱 |
| [31:26] | But by that point, | 那时 |
| [31:27] | you’ll be so fucking hungry for any kind of approval, | 你会非常渴望得到任何形式的认可 |
| [31:29] | that you’ll do anything that he says. | 所以他说什么你都会照做 |
| [31:32] | There. You’re a comedian. | 就这样 你就是喜剧演员了 |
| [31:37] | Oh, shoot, there’s the phone. | 糟糕 来电话了 |
| [31:40] | Excuse me. | 失陪一下 |
| [31:47] | So, um. | 所以 |
| [31:49] | – How are you feeling? – Well, | -你感觉怎样 -好吧 |
| [31:52] | I don’t know if it’s this or that little blue pill | 我不知道是因为酒还是那个蓝色小药丸 |
| [31:55] | or the combo, but I’m starting to feel pretty sleepy. | 或是两个都有 但我现在感觉很困 |
| [32:01] | Me too. | 我也是 |
| [32:03] | I’m not going to fuck you. | 我不会睡你的 |
| [32:05] | – I know. – Mm-hmm. | -我知道 -很好 |
| [32:06] | But you’re not going to drive home either. | 但你也不会开车回家 |
| [32:08] | You’re right. | 你说得对 |
| [32:10] | I know I’m right. | 我知道 |
| [32:14] | So what do these tattoos mean? | 这些纹身代表什么 |
| [32:19] | – I don’t know. – Yes, you do. | -我不知道 -不 你知道 |
| [32:23] | I don’t want to tell you. | 我不想说 |
| [32:26] | That’s obnoxious. | 真讨厌 |
| [32:29] | You’re obnoxious. | 你真讨厌 |
| [32:30] | Well, tough shit. | 废话 |
| [32:35] | Hey. | 你说 |
| [32:37] | If I have to mail something, can you mail stuff here? | 如果我要寄东西 你们这儿能寄吗 |
| [32:44] | Are you asking if we can send and receive U.S. mail here? | 你想问我们这里能不能收发美国包裹吗 |
| [32:51] | – Yes, I am. – In this, in this town? | -是的 -在这 这个小镇吗 |
| [32:53] | That’s what I’m asking. | 是的 |
| [32:57] | Yeah, we can do that. | 是的 可以 |
| [32:59] | – Okay? – Thank you. | -好吗 -谢了 |
| [33:04] | Hey. | 听着 |
| [33:08] | Don’t rape me, okay? | 不要强奸我 好吗 |
| [33:10] | Don’t rape me. | 你别强奸我才对 |
| [33:15] | I’m serious. | 我认真的 |
| [33:18] | I know, I just think it’s so sad that you have to say that. | 我知道 只是你这么说太伤我心了 |
| [33:23] | Go to sleep. | 睡吧 |
| [33:37] | Literally, | 说实话 |
| [33:38] | the reason I got into this line of work was to sleep late, | 我干这行就是为了睡懒觉 |
| [33:41] | and now you’ve fucked that up. | 现在被你搞砸了 |
| [33:42] | Well, I just thought it was important to show you | 我只是觉得应该带你看看 |
| [33:45] | the fancy building that you can mail stuff from. | 那座能寄东西的豪华大楼 |
| [33:50] | Oh, this is nice. | 真不错 |
| [33:53] | – Well, good morning, Dee. – Good morning, Walt. | -早上好迪 -早上好沃特 |
| [33:55] | What can I do for you? | 我能为你做什么 |
| [33:56] | Um, well, this is Tim, he’s from out of town | 这是蒂姆 从外地来的 |
| [33:59] | and he needs to mail a package, | 他要寄个包裹 |
| [34:00] | so I want to put it on the hotel’s tab, | 所以我想把它记在酒店的账单上 |
| [34:02] | uh, seeing as how he’s kind of, kind of a VIP. | 因为他是个 是个重要客户 |
| [34:05] | Is that right? What a treat! | 是吗 太好了 |
| [34:09] | Yeah, hmm, here’s my very important paycheck. | 这是我的重要薪水 |
| [34:12] | Do you still want to be a comedian? | 你还想当喜剧演员吗 |
| [34:14] | Hmm. More than ever. | 是的 更想了 |
| [34:16] | Okay. Could you mail that to that address, please? | 好 你能帮我把这个寄到这个地址吗 |
| [34:19] | – You got it. – Oh, and uh, yeah, this too. | -没问题 -对了 还有这个也是 |
| [34:23] | And who’s this little guy for. | 这个小家伙是给谁的 |
| [34:26] | – Uh, it’s for my son. – Oh, that’s great. | -给我儿子的 -真好 |
| [34:29] | What’s your son’s name? | 你儿子叫什么 |
| [34:35] | Okay, you don’t have to tell me… | 好吧 你不说也行 |
| [34:36] | Sean, his name is Sean. | 肖恩 他叫肖恩 |
| [34:38] | How old is he? | 他几岁了 |
| [34:40] | – He’s eight. – Oh, now, that’s a fun age. | -八岁 -正是有趣的年纪 |
| [34:45] | It is a fun age. He actually has | 确实有趣 他其实正在 |
| [34:47] | just, kind of, really gotten into | 有点 非常沉迷于 |
| [34:49] | exploring down here, so just constantly just cranking. | 就是 探索下面 然后 一直撸动 |
| [34:53] | Well, uh, we’re all set, uh. | 都处理好了 |
| [34:56] | They’ll pick this up around noon and, uh, off she goes. | 大概中午会有人来取 这小家伙就上路了 |
| [34:59] | Thanks so much. | 非常感谢 |
| [35:01] | Have a blessed day. | 祝今日顺利 |
| [35:02] | Yes. | 顺利 |
| [35:06] | No, it’s still cold. | 天啊 还是很冷 |
| [35:08] | Come on! | 这也太冷了 |
| [35:09] | Yeah. All right, where to? | 好吧 接下来去哪 |
| [35:11] | – Uh, let’s go on a walk. – No, fuck you, it’s too cold. | -散散步 -操 我不去 太他妈冷了 |
| [35:14] | Well, you know, you’re wearing a summer coat | 你穿着个夏季外套 |
| [35:16] | in the middle of the ice box of the nation. | 待在全国最冷的地方 |
| [35:19] | This is my winter coat. | 这是我过冬的外套 |
| [35:21] | You know what? | 我有个办法 |
| [35:22] | – Hang on. – No. | -等我一下 -别去 |
| [35:24] | No, don’t leave me. | 别 别留我一个人 |
| [35:25] | No. | 别去 |
| [35:29] | Ah, my nipples. | 咪咪要冻掉了 |
| [35:32] | Okay, here, put this on. | 好了 把这个穿上 |
| [35:34] | Oh, thank God, I thought you died. | 太好了 我差点以为你死里面了 |
| [35:35] | They just gave that to you? | 他们就这么送你了吗 |
| [35:37] | No, there’s basically a cardboard box | 不是 里边有个纸箱 |
| [35:38] | full of coats and stuff in every building | 里面装的都是外套什么的 |
| [35:40] | in International Falls. | 国际瀑布城每个楼里都有 |
| [35:42] | So this just belonged to, like, a dead guy or, like, a | 所以这件外套也许是死人穿过的 或者 |
| [35:45] | – missing teenager or something? – I don’t know, could be. | -走失青少年穿过的吗 -不知道 有可能 |
| [35:49] | – Okay. – Better? | -穿好了 -暖和点了吗 |
| [35:50] | – Getting there, getting there. – Okay, let’s go. | -差不多了 暖和点了 -那走吧 |
| [35:54] | – But I’m worried about that missing teenager. – Yeah. | -但我现在有点担心那个青少年 -应该的 |
| [35:56] | So, International Falls. | 既然是国际瀑布城 |
| [35:59] | Where’s the falls? | 那瀑布在哪 |
| [36:00] | Oh, we don’t have any falls. | 这儿没有瀑布 |
| [36:03] | Yeah, this is like a beautiful little Christmas village. | 这里像个美丽的圣诞小镇 |
| [36:07] | – You think? – No. | -像吗 -不像 |
| [36:10] | What is that, a paper mill? | 什么味 附近有造纸厂吗 |
| [36:12] | Yeah. I mean, it stinks. | 是啊 很臭 |
| [36:14] | It smells like one, like, one giant fart city. | 搞得这像个巨大的充满屁味的城市 |
| [36:19] | Did they ever think about changing the name to Fart City? | 市政府没考虑过改名叫屁城吗 |
| [36:23] | You know what? I’m going to bring | 我有个想法 下次市议会的时候 |
| [36:25] | that up at our next council meeting. | 我要把这个建议提上去 |
| [36:27] | You should. | 应该提 |
| [36:29] | Oh, there it is, there’s the wind right there. | 来了 终于来了一阵风 |
| [36:32] | Oh, that’s nice. | 舒服多了 |
| [36:34] | Oh, my dick fell off. | 我的鸡儿刚才冻掉了 |
| [36:37] | Hi, how are you. | 你好 |
| [36:38] | Okay, go! Go, you’re doing great! | 用力蹬 你骑得很好 |
| [36:41] | 博物馆群 康契钦历史 和布朗克·南格斯基 [著名橄榄球运动员] | |
| [36:45] | No! | 不是吧 |
| [36:50] | Oh, did it pull it off your head? | 是树把你帽子刮掉的吗 |
| [36:52] | Yeah, they should cut these trees down. This is bullshit. | 对 应该把这些树都砍了 太操蛋了 |
| [36:55] | Or you could duck. When was the last time you washed your hair? | 或者你应该弯下腰 你多久没洗头了 |
| [36:58] | So, that’s Canada across the river there. | 河对面就是加拿大了 |
| [37:02] | Gosh, that’s beautiful. | 天啊 太美了 |
| [37:11] | See? | 你看 |
| [37:13] | Oh, my God. | 我的 妈呀 |
| [37:23] | Can we please go somewhere warm? | 我们能去个暖和的地方吗 |
| [37:26] | – Yeah. – Please. | -可以 -谢了 |
| [37:29] | Yeah, I got an idea. | 我想到了个地方 |
| [37:43] | Okay. | 现在 |
| [37:45] | Uh, take off your seatbelt and roll down the windows. | 解开安全带 然后把车窗摇下来 |
| [37:48] | – Why? – It’s rules of the road. | -为啥 -上了这条路 就得这么做 |
| [37:51] | It’s easier to get out in case we go under. | 这样出去以后容易适应 以免直接冻僵 |
| [37:54] | – Are you serious? – Yeah. | -你认真的吗 -认真的 |
| [37:56] | Shit. | 操 |
| [37:58] | 冰路开放 限敞蓬小型载货卡车 最大载重 7000磅 | |
| [38:00] | You’re a good swimmer, yeah? | 你游泳游得挺好的吧 |
| [38:01] | No, I’m not a good swimmer. | 不 一点都不好 |
| [38:03] | Are you serious? | 你认真的吗 |
| [38:05] | So, you know, if we go down | 你明白吧 一旦我们下车了 |
| [38:06] | there’s no way I can, I can help you. | 你就得靠自己了 |
| [38:08] | – Please help me. – Because you’re… | -帮帮我 -因为你 |
| [38:10] | Please help me. | 帮帮我吧 |
| [38:14] | This is really scary. | 太吓人了 |
| [38:16] | It is beautiful. | 很美的 |
| [38:18] | Are you taking me out here to kill me? | 你带我到这来是为了杀了我吗 |
| [38:20] | Yes. | 是啊 |
| [38:22] | I knew it. | 我就知道 |
| [38:27] | Why are we stopping? | 为什么要停车 |
| [38:28] | You’ll see. | 马上你就知道了 |
| [38:37] | Where are you going? | 你要去哪 |
| [38:40] | Don’t leave me! | 别丢下我 |
| [39:17] | Yeah, this is warm. | 这儿可真暖和 |
| [39:20] | It’s toasty out here. | 外面可真暖和 |
| [39:23] | Well, you know what they say. If you don’t | 听过一句话没有”如果不喜欢这天气 |
| [39:25] | like the weather, give it five minutes. | 五分钟以后再看” |
| [39:26] | – Oh, is that what they say? – Yeah, yep. | -有这么句话吗 -有的 |
| [39:28] | That’s hilarious. | 真好笑 |
| [39:38] | So, do you know her name or anything? | 你知道她的事吗 名字什么的 |
| [39:41] | The other woman. | 那个小三 |
| [39:44] | Yeah, I met her a couple of times. | 知道 我遇到过她几次 |
| [39:46] | She works with my husband, her name is I think. | 她跟我丈夫是同事 叫辛西娅吧 好像 |
| [39:50] | Cynthia? | 辛西娅吗 |
| [39:52] | Yeah. | 对 |
| [39:53] | That’s a stupid fucking name. | 真他妈是个破名字 |
| [39:56] | It is, right? | 是吧 我也觉得 |
| [39:58] | Have you ever met, like, a cool Cynthia? | 你认识哪个叫辛西娅的酷女孩吗 |
| [40:01] | No, nobody has. | 没有人认识 |
| [40:05] | So, what do you think? | 你怎么想的 |
| [40:07] | – How you gonna do it? – Do what? | -打算怎么做 -做什么 |
| [40:12] | You want to kill her, right? | 你想弄死她吧 |
| [40:14] | No! | 当然不想 |
| [40:17] | Yeah. | 其实想 |
| [40:21] | Maybe like a… like a wood chipper situation. | 也许 用碎木机杀了她怎么样 |
| [40:30] | You never saw Fargo? | 你没看过《冰血暴》吗 |
| [40:34] | – How about a gun? – Nope. | -用枪呢 -不要 |
| [40:37] | Do you know anyone that has a gun? | 你认识有枪的人吗 |
| [40:39] | – Oh, yeah. – Okay, great, so you can get one. | -认识 -那好 借来用 |
| [40:42] | – Yeah. – All right, here’s what you’re going to do. | -也是啊 -好 接下来这么做 |
| [40:45] | You get a gun, you shoot her, | 你去搞把枪 崩了她 |
| [40:48] | not in the head or the face, in the gut. | 别打头 也别打脸 冲着腹部开枪 |
| [40:53] | Hurts real bad and takes a long time to bleed out. | 特别痛苦 要很长时间才会流血致死 |
| [42:00] | You were right about the weather. | 关于天气那句话 你说得对 |
| [42:05] | So, where are you from if you’re not from here? | 你不是生在这里 那你生在哪 |
| [42:07] | I was raised here. | 我从小在这长大的 |
| [42:10] | – You said you weren’t. – I lied. | -你之前说不是 -我撒谎了 |
| [42:13] | Well, why would you lie about that? | 这有什么好撒谎的 |
| [42:16] | Because at the time you said you’d been | 因为那会你说你上过 |
| [42:18] | on HBO and Comedy Central. | HBO和喜剧中央 |
| [42:23] | Yeah, no, no, I mean, I was raised here. I, uh… | 不是 我是说我从小就在这 |
| [42:28] | I grew up here, I met my husband here, | 从小到大都在这 在这遇见的我丈夫 |
| [42:30] | we went to college together. | 我们一起上大学 |
| [42:32] | – Then we decided we’d stay… – I’m so sorry, | -然后我们决定结 -对不起 |
| [42:34] | this is a very boring story. | 这是个巨无聊的故事 |
| [42:38] | You got to spice it up for the listener. | 你得加点料再讲给听众 |
| [42:41] | Okay, I listened to your set last night go on and on and on… | 昨晚 我听你的节目 你一直讲啊讲啊 |
| [42:45] | On stage, that’s just my material. | 舞台上的故事吗 编好的 |
| [42:47] | It’s mostly lies, I told you. | 我跟你说过的 基本都是编的 |
| [42:50] | Well, then tell me something. | 那给我讲点东西吧 |
| [42:52] | What? | 讲什么 |
| [42:53] | Tell me something real. | 讲点真话 |
| [42:57] | Something real. | 真话 |
| [43:07] | This is going to be my last set. | 今晚是我最后一次表演了 |
| [43:10] | What do you mean? | 什么意思 |
| [43:14] | I’m sort of retiring. | 算是退休了吧 |
| [43:16] | – From standup? – Yeah. | -不干单口喜剧了吗 -对 |
| [43:18] | – Why? – I hate it. | -为什么 -我讨厌这工作 |
| [43:20] | I hate it, I do. | 真的 特别讨厌 |
| [43:21] | I’m not good at it and I hate it. | 我不擅长并且讨厌它 |
| [43:24] | I mean, you must’ve loved it at some part. | 我是说 你肯定还是对它有点热爱的 |
| [43:26] | When did it, when did it start? | 什么时候 什么时候开始的 |
| [43:27] | – How did you start? – I don’t know. I guess… | -怎么开始的 -我不知道 我想 |
| [43:30] | the answer I give in all of the interviews | 我在采访里一般会说 |
| [43:31] | that I do, I don’t do interviews, | 但我其实没接受过采访 |
| [43:33] | is, um, that I grew up listening to comedy albums | 我会说 我从小就看喜剧专辑长大的 |
| [43:37] | of people like, George Carlin and Lenny Bruce | 看乔治·卡林和莱尼·布鲁斯 |
| [43:40] | and Richard Pryor. | 还有理查德·普赖尔 |
| [43:43] | – Is that the truth? – No. | -是真的吗 -假的 |
| [43:44] | Okay, well, then why do you do it? | 那 你为什么干这个 |
| [43:46] | What makes you do it? | 是什么让你想干这个的 |
| [43:49] | I’m vain, I’m selfish, I’m afraid, I guess. | 因为我一无所有 自私自利 还害怕吧 |
| [43:53] | Afraid of what? | 害怕什么 |
| [43:55] | Everyone, everything. | 所有人 所有事 |
| [43:58] | I guess it’s, a, like a preemptive strike, you know? | 像是我使了一招先发制人 你懂吗 |
| [44:01] | I’m going to make fun of me before you make fun of me, | 在你取笑我之前 我先自嘲 |
| [44:04] | – ’cause I know it’s coming. – Are you afraid of me? | -因为我知道会被嘲笑的 -你害怕我吗 |
| [44:09] | Yeah. | 怕 |
| [44:10] | Terrified. | 非常怕 |
| [44:12] | Why? | 为什么 |
| [44:18] | Because you’re authentic. | 因为你真实 |
| [44:28] | You know what they say it takes to get, | 你听别人说过这个吗 |
| [44:30] | like, really good at comedy? | 怎么能做好喜剧 |
| [44:33] | You know, like finding your voice, do you know what that is? | 要发掘自己 找到自己的特色 你懂吗 |
| [44:35] | Yeah. | 明白 |
| [44:41] | I don’t think I ever found mine. | 我从没发掘出来过 |
| [44:45] | I’m kind of done looking for it. | 也不想再发掘了 |
| [45:05] | I’m not going to fuck you. | 我不会睡你的 |
| [45:08] | We’ll see about that. | 我们走着瞧 |
| [45:32] | Shit. | 操 |
| [45:34] | What, who is it? | 怎么了 是谁 |
| [45:36] | Gary. | 是加里 |
| [45:39] | – Oh, shit! – Nah, it’s fine. | -我操 -没事的 |
| [45:41] | – Fine? – It’s fine. | -没事 -没事的 |
| [45:44] | He’s basically a robot. | 他就像个机器人 |
| [46:10] | Who’s that? | 他是谁 |
| [46:13] | Uh, that’s the, the comic from last night. | 昨晚的喜剧演员 |
| [46:15] | He’s performing again tonight. | 他今晚还有一场 |
| [46:18] | He’s… he’s kind of a big deal so they wanted me | 他 他很重要 上司让我今天 |
| [46:22] | to show him around today. | 带他四处转转 |
| [46:24] | Okay. He on TV? | 知道了 他上电视吗 |
| [46:28] | Tons. | 经常上 |
| [46:41] | So… what you said to me last night on the phone. | 你昨晚在电话里跟我说的话 |
| [46:45] | I was angry, Gary, I… | 加里 我当时很生气 我 |
| [46:49] | I’m sorry, Dee. | 对不起 迪 |
| [46:52] | I’m so sorry, Dee. And, and I’m so stupid. | 对不起 迪 我太蠢了 |
| [46:55] | Holy hell, I don’t even know what the hell I was thinking. | 真他妈 我都不知道我当时在想什么 |
| [46:58] | It just happened, you know? | 事情就发生了 |
| [47:01] | And… | 还有 |
| [47:03] | I miss you. I miss you so much. | 我想你 我很想你 |
| [47:06] | I miss you so much. | 我太想你了 |
| [47:10] | The girls are scared. | 女儿们吓坏了 |
| [47:11] | Don’t you dare bring those girls into this, Gary. | 加里 别拿女儿说事 |
| [47:13] | I’m not, I’m not. I… they… | 我没有 我 我只是 她们 |
| [47:14] | I didn’t tell them nothing, they just… | 我什么也没说 但是她们 |
| [47:16] | they know that you didn’t come home last night. | 她们知道你昨晚没回家 |
| [47:18] | And, and, uh, they know you haven’t been home today. | 也 也知道你今天一直没回家 |
| [47:25] | Will you just tell me what to do? | 你告诉我我该怎么做 |
| [47:27] | I’m so sorry, I didn’t… | 我对不起你 我不是 |
| [47:30] | I’m so sorry, Dee. I’m so sorry, Dee. | 我对不起你 迪 我对不起你 |
| [47:37] | Just go home, Gary. | 回家去吧 加里 |
| [47:40] | Just go home. | 回去吧 |
| [48:28] | Fuck. | 操蛋 |
| [48:31] | So, you’re saying tonight’s your… your last show ever. | 你刚才说 今晚是你最后一场表演了 |
| [48:38] | Yeah, that’s pretty much what I’m saying. | 对 我是那么想的 |
| [48:40] | Well, I got to see that, right? | 那我不能错过 对吧 |
| [48:46] | I mean, if you’re a glutton for punishment, yeah. | 如果你想给自己找罪受 那就来吧 |
| [49:05] | Here’s something that’s hot off the presses, | 假设现在是1996年的话 |
| [49:08] | if you pretend like it’s 1996. | 有这么个新鲜事 |
| [49:10] | You know, they just started putting, uh, porn out on DVD. | 那会大家刚开始用DVD看小黄片 |
| [49:14] | Pretty cool. | 很新潮 |
| [49:15] | I’m not sure we need, uh, | 但我不确定我们是否需要 |
| [49:17] | the bonus features though, you know? | 那些额外内容 |
| [49:19] | You know, do we need that? | 对吧 我们需要吗 |
| [49:21] | You know, do we need that? | 我们真的想看吗 |
| [49:23] | Do we need the director’s commentary? | 我们需要听导演念旁白说 |
| [49:25] | “We’re losing the light.” | “天快黑了”吗 |
| [49:26] | And, uh, and then , comes up to me | 然后辛娜蒙 辛娜蒙过来跟我说 |
| [49:30] | and said, “Um, I just found out that I have HIV,” | 她说”我发现我得了艾滋病” |
| [49:36] | and I was like, “well, , you’re an actress. | 然后我告诉她”辛娜蒙 你可是个演员 |
| [49:40] | Just use it.” And I think, | 好好利用它”然后我觉得 |
| [49:43] | I think you can see the HIV in her performance. | 看她的表演 确实能看出她得了艾滋病 |
| [49:46] | And, uh, Blaze. | 还有布莱兹 |
| [49:49] | Blaze has been fucking all day, man, | 布莱兹就跟个泰迪犬一样整天日来日去 |
| [49:51] | and he couldn’t, he couldn’t cum anymore. | 日到自己一滴都没有了 |
| [49:53] | I remember smoke was coming out of his dick, | 我还记得他鸡巴里射出来的是烟 |
| [49:55] | it was just smoke. | 只有烟 |
| [49:58] | Ah, come on. | 拜托 |
| [49:59] | We’re having fun, right? | 我在讲笑话 对吗 |
| [50:00] | Are you guys not having fun? | 你们不觉得好笑吗 |
| [50:02] | Oh, no. | 不 |
| [50:03] | Oh, no, we don’t like this. | 我们不喜欢这笑话 |
| [50:06] | I’ll tell you what we like, we like ice fishing. | 告诉你我们喜欢什么 我们喜欢冰上垂钓 |
| [50:10] | That’s what we think is fun. | 我们觉得那才有意思 |
| [50:13] | How much longer? | 还有多长时间 |
| [50:16] | Oh, my God. | 天呐 |
| [50:17] | Oh, my God | 我的天 |
| [50:19] | All right, here we go, here we go. | 没事 再来几个 再来几个 |
| [50:21] | Let’s have fun. Here’s an impression of me and my dick. | 咱们来找点乐子 来看看我和我的鸡巴 |
| [50:27] | Pretty cool, right? | 牛逼不 |
| [50:28] | Fuck it. Now how much time do we have? | 去他的 现在还剩多长时间 |
| [50:31] | Come on. Nobody’s with me? | 真就没人理我呗 |
| [50:34] | Um, you know what? | 算了 你们知道吗 |
| [50:37] | I don’t really care, to be honest. | 我压根就不在乎 真的 |
| [50:41] | ♪ I don’t care about you You rednecks ♪ | ♪ 我不在乎你们 一群乡巴佬 ♪ |
| [50:44] | All right, here we go, here we go. | 好吧 继续讲笑话 继续讲 |
| [50:46] | Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. | 抱歉 抱歉 抱歉 抱歉 抱歉 抱歉 |
| [50:50] | Not really, fuck you. Um. | 才怪 去你们的 |
| [50:52] | You suck, man! | 烂透了 傻逼 |
| [50:55] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [50:58] | Yeah, I do suck, bro. | 没错我是烂透了 兄弟 |
| [51:01] | But I know I suck and I’ve been trying to | 但我知道我很差劲 我这些年 |
| [51:04] | tell people that for years, okay? | 一直在告诉别人我很差劲 好吗 |
| [51:07] | But I’m owning it. | 但我敢承认 |
| [51:09] | Tonight I’m owning it. | 今晚我就在告诉你们 |
| [51:11] | How much I suck. | 我到底有多烂 |
| [51:14] | And you should own how much you suck, dude. | 但你们也得有一点自知之明 兄弟 |
| [51:17] | You should also go fuck yourself. | 还有 去你们妈的吧 |
| [51:20] | So let’s meet back here in ten years. | 咱们十年后在这里重聚 |
| [51:23] | You guys will all still be here, I guarantee you that. | 我敢保证你们这帮人还会待在这儿 |
| [51:26] | I guarantee you, you will still be here, | 我保证 你们还会在这儿 |
| [51:30] | but I will be long gone. | 但我早已远走高飞 |
| [51:33] | I will be long gone. | 我到那时早就走了 |
| [51:35] | Oh, look, it is the lady from the liquor store | 看 是烟酒店的那位女士 |
| [51:39] | as I’m sure you all know. | 我想你们都认识 |
| [51:40] | Hello, and what did I tell you when I met you? | 你好啊 还有 我当时怎么跟你说的 |
| [51:45] | I said I’m not very good at this | 我说我不擅长讲笑话 |
| [51:48] | and you should not come… didn’t I? | 你最好别来听 对吗 |
| [51:53] | So, this is on you. | 所以 要怪就怪你自己 |
| [51:56] | And frankly, you’re not so great at your job either. | 坦白讲 你也不是很擅长你的工作 |
| [52:00] | Little chatty. Little chatty is all I’m saying. | 话太多了 你话太多了 |
| [52:03] | Let’s land this thing… | 咱们降落吧 |
| [52:05] | which is what they said on the Hindenburg. | 他们在兴登堡号上就是这么说的 |
| [52:07] | Um, I’ll go out on this. This is my closer. | 用下面这个笑话结束我的演出生涯吧 |
| [52:13] | This is my closer. | 最后一个了 |
| [52:17] | I’m on the road a lot. | 我经常巡演 |
| [52:19] | I am on the road a lot, um, but I don’t cheat on my wife. | 很多很多巡演 但我从未背叛过我妻子 |
| [52:23] | Um, and my wife suggested that we have phone sex, | 我妻子呢 建议我们来次电话性爱 |
| [52:28] | but I quickly realized that it was | 但我很快意识到 |
| [52:30] | the saddest thing in the world | 这世上最可悲的事 |
| [52:34] | to have phone sex with my wife, | 就是跟自己的妻子玩电话性爱 |
| [52:36] | because it’s really more about my wife | 因为这更像 |
| [52:38] | just controlling what I masturbate to. | 我妻子在控制我自慰 |
| [52:42] | And it goes a little something like this. | 情况大概是这样的 |
| [52:44] | My wife says… | 我妻子说 |
| [52:47] | “Okay, go.” | “可以了 开始吧” |
| [52:50] | And so… | 然后 |
| [52:53] | I start masturbating. | 我就开始撸管了 |
| [52:56] | And I cum. | 然后射了 |
| [52:59] | And my wife goes… “Are you finished?” | 然后我妻子说”你完事了吗” |
| [53:05] | And I say, “Yes.” | 我说”完事了” |
| [53:08] | And, uh, and my wife goes, “Goodnight, sicko.” | 然后我妻子说”晚安 变态” |
| [53:16] | I go, “Goodnight… | 我说”晚安 |
| [53:18] | I love you.” | 我爱你” |
| [53:23] | So, that’s my time. | 好了 我说完了 |
| [53:25] | Uh, I’m Tim Fletcher. | 我是蒂姆·弗莱彻 |
| [53:27] | And… | 然后 |
| [53:30] | sorry about that. | 抱歉讲得不好 |
| [53:36] | Okay, uh, all right, um. | 好吧 那么 |
| [53:39] | Everybody give another round of applause | 大家再给我们的表演嘉宾 |
| [53:42] | for our headliner, Tim Fletcher. | 蒂姆·弗莱彻来点掌声吧 |
| [53:44] | Thank you. We will definitely remember that. I, I want to… | 谢谢你 我们绝对忘不了你的表演 我想 |
| [53:48] | Let’s go to my retirement party. | 来参加我的退休派对吧 |
| [53:50] | …we do have comedy here, uh, on the weekends. | 这周末我们确实有喜剧表演 |
| [53:58] | Did you know that was going to happen? | 你是故意这么做的吗 |
| [54:00] | No. | 不是 |
| [54:13] | Vodka? | 喝伏特加吗 |
| [54:14] | Uh, sure. | 好 |
| [54:20] | Do you want a pill? | 你要嗑药吗 |
| [54:22] | No. No, thanks, not tonight. | 不了 谢谢 今天不用了 |
| [54:47] | You know… | 其实 |
| [54:50] | when it really works… | 一个真正好笑的笑话 |
| [54:52] | and you’re actually killing… | 能笑死人的那种 |
| [54:56] | it’s not me versus them, | 不该是我为了逗他们讲的 |
| [55:00] | a performer, an audience, it’s just us. | 不该分什么演员和听众 只有我们 |
| [55:06] | A conversation. | 我们在对话 |
| [55:09] | And your stupid books will say that there’s | 但你买的傻逼笑话书会说 |
| [55:13] | a structure to a joke… | 笑话是有一套体系的 |
| [55:16] | but there’s not. | 但其实没有 |
| [55:19] | I mean, there is, but we all already know it | 我的意思是我们本就知道笑话的体系 |
| [55:23] | because we’re human beings and we do it every day. | 因为我们是人 我们每天都在讲笑话 |
| [55:29] | Like, if I say, “Man, the weather’s so hot, it’s like… | 就比如 我说”兄弟 这天儿热得就像 |
| [55:34] | I’m walking around inside somebody’s mouth.” | 就像我是在谁的嘴里走路一样” |
| [55:40] | Exactly. | 没错 |
| [55:42] | Because that’s what a conversation is, right? | 对话就是这样 不是吗 |
| [55:44] | It’s just looking for some sort of reaction. | 我们只是在期待别人的回应 |
| [55:47] | It could be a laugh, it could be a cry. | 可能是笑 可能是哭 |
| [55:53] | But just some sort of response. | 但总得有个回应 |
| [55:58] | Then everything else is just the setup. | 其他的都是铺垫 |
| [56:06] | Do you still want to be a comedian? | 你现在还想当个喜剧演员吗 |
| [56:09] | More than ever. | 更想了 |
| [56:10] | I promise I’m not trying to talk you out of it. | 我保证我不是在劝你放弃 |
| [56:12] | Jesus, I’d hate to see if you did. | 天 你要是这么做了可太讨厌了 |
| [56:15] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [56:18] | Then you got to start writing like, everything down. | 你最好现在开始把每件事都写下来 |
| [56:21] | To get jokes, I mean. | 好收集笑话 我的意思是 |
| [56:23] | But you have to start paying attention | 你现在必须留心 |
| [56:25] | to the things that piss you off. | 那些让你火大的事 |
| [56:27] | People that are assholes, oblivious dickheads, | 那些下流的混蛋还有不起眼的蠢货 |
| [56:31] | or the most fucked up darkest thoughts | 或者是你脑子里萌生出的 |
| [56:34] | that only come out of your brain. | 最邪恶阴暗的想法 |
| [56:36] | Whatever gets some sort of emotional reaction out of you. | 以及任何能激起你情感反应的事情 |
| [56:39] | Figure out what makes it funny later. | 之后想想怎么让它们变有趣 |
| [56:42] | Write it down. | 然后写下来 |
| [56:43] | Do you do that? | 你这么做吗 |
| [57:01] | These are jokes? | 这些是笑话吗 |
| [57:02] | No. | 不是 |
| [57:04] | Oh, like a, like a diary? | 是像日记一样的东西吗 |
| [57:07] | No. | 不是 |
| [57:08] | Journal. | 周记吗 |
| [57:09] | No. It’s like a… | 不是 其实像是 |
| [57:12] | man’s log book of his thoughts. | 一个人想法的札记 |
| [57:19] | You’re really sad, aren’t you? | 你很沮丧 对吗 |
| [57:27] | Yeah, I guess I’m… pretty sad. | 我猜我 是挺沮丧的 |
| [57:32] | I’m just tired of pretending like I’m not. | 我不想再装成不沮丧的样子了 |
| [57:42] | Wait. | 等会 |
| [57:44] | Are you sure you want to do this? | 你确定要这么做吗 |
| [57:46] | Yeah. | 确定 |
| [57:48] | Are you sure you want to do this? | 那你确定吗 |
| [57:51] | But to be clear, you’re using me, right? | 先说好 你在利用我 对吗 |
| [57:57] | Yeah. | 没错 |
| [57:59] | And you’re using me, right? | 你也在利用我 不是吗 |
| [58:02] | Big time. | 千真万确 |
| [58:31] | “I denied myself nothing my eyes desired.” | “凡我眼所求的 我没有留下不给他的” |
| [58:39] | – I like the sound of that. – Hmm. Yeah. | -我喜欢这句的感觉 -不错 |
| [58:41] | “I refused my heart no pleasure.” | “我心所乐的 我没有禁止不享受的” |
| [58:46] | I like the sound of that. | 我喜欢这句 |
| [58:50] | “Yet, when I surveyed all that my hands had done | “后来 我察看我手所经营的一切事 |
| [58:55] | and what I had toiled to achieve… | 和我劳碌所成的功 |
| [59:00] | everything was meaningless. | 谁知都是虚空 |
| [59:03] | A chasing after the wind. | 都是捕风 |
| [59:07] | Nothing was gained under the sun.” | 在日光之下毫无益处” |
| [59:15] | Man, that last part was depressing. | 最后这部分还挺压抑的 |
| [59:19] | But the beginning was nice. | 但开头不错 |
| [59:21] | I like Ecclesiastes. | 我喜欢传道书 |
| [59:24] | – You knew that was Ecclesiastes? – Yeah. | -你还知道这是传道书里面的 -是啊 |
| [59:28] | Do you believe in God? | 你信上帝吗 |
| [59:32] | I mean, I suppose as much as any Lutheran does. | 我想我跟其他路德宗信徒一样虔诚 |
| [59:37] | So you go to church. | 所以你去教堂咯 |
| [59:39] | Yep, Gary’s on a council. | 没错 加里是委员会成员 |
| [59:43] | What, what do Lutherans believe? | 那路德教徒都信什么 |
| [59:50] | Well, basically you don’t need the pope to go to heaven. | 简而言之就是你不需要教皇就能上天堂 |
| [59:55] | So you believe in heaven. | 所以你相信有天堂 |
| [1:00:00] | I, I don’t know. I mean, come on. | 我不知道 我是说 拜托 |
| [1:00:01] | – I’m not making fun. – It’s just. | -我没有开玩笑 -只是 |
| [1:00:03] | No, it… My mom died last year, that’s all. | 我妈妈去年去世了 就这样 |
| [1:00:07] | I’m sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [1:00:09] | Yeah. | 没事 |
| [1:00:11] | I was with her in the end. | 我守着她到了生命的终结 |
| [1:00:15] | I watched her go. | 我看着她走的 |
| [1:00:17] | I was holding her hand and… | 我握着她的手 然后 |
| [1:00:22] | and her eyes were closed, but I knew. | 然后她的眼睛闭上了 但我知道 |
| [1:00:26] | Her last breath… | 她的最后时刻 |
| [1:00:33] | was so beautiful. | 很美好 |
| [1:00:37] | I was struck with the idea for the first time | 我这辈子第一次有了这种想法 |
| [1:00:39] | in my life that… that maybe this was it. | 也许有天堂呢 |
| [1:00:44] | That this was it and… | 也许她看见了 |
| [1:00:47] | I wasn’t sad. | 我并不悲伤 |
| [1:00:51] | I was grateful. | 我很感激 |
| [1:00:55] | And I remember thinking that this was enough. | 我还记得我当时想着也许这就足够了 |
| [1:01:01] | And to expect anything more would be greedy. | 再奢求更多就是贪婪了 |
| [1:01:11] | – Sorry. – No. | -抱歉 -不必 |
| [1:01:13] | – I just… – Don’t be. | -我只是 -不用 |
| [1:01:16] | I mean, I know you have to get up early, so… | 我知道你得早起 所以 |
| [1:01:18] | No, I’m fine. | 我没事 |
| [1:01:19] | No, I don’t want this to be weird really. | 我不想让这事变得尴尬 |
| [1:01:21] | – You’re not making it weird. – Okay. | -你没有让这事变得尴尬 -好吧 |
| [1:01:25] | Can you just, can you grab that? | 你能 你能帮我拿过来吗 |
| [1:01:27] | Uh, yeah. | 没问题 |
| [1:01:33] | Retired comedian Tim Fletcher, how may I direct your call? | 我是退休喜剧演员蒂姆·弗莱彻 您找谁 |
| [1:01:36] | Hi, this is Ruthie down at the front desk. | 我是前台的露丝 |
| [1:01:39] | Um, I’m just calling to see if, | 我打来就是想问问 |
| [1:01:42] | – by any chance… – Okay, for crying out loud. | -有没有可能 -哎哟我的天啊 |
| [1:01:43] | Ruthie, you don’t have to act | 露丝 你不用装得像 |
| [1:01:45] | like I don’t know what’s going on. | 我什么都不知道一样 |
| [1:01:47] | Um, I’m looking for Dee. | 我找迪 |
| [1:01:50] | Hey, you might want to take this. | 也许你想接这个电话 |
| [1:01:54] | – Hey, Dee. – Hey, Ruthie. | -嗨 迪 -嗨 露丝 |
| [1:01:56] | Uh, Ruthie. | 露丝 |
| [1:01:58] | Please. | 劳驾 |
| [1:02:00] | Dee? Uh, it’s Gary. | 迪 我是加里 |
| [1:02:03] | I’m still working. | 我还在工作 |
| [1:02:04] | – Oh, come on, Dee. – Gary, listen to me. | -别这样 迪 -加里 你听好了 |
| [1:02:07] | I don’t want to see you right now. | 我现在不想见你 |
| [1:02:10] | You know, the girls are here. | 女儿们来了 |
| [1:02:11] | – What? – Yeah, they want to see you. | -什么 -没错 她们想见你 |
| [1:02:14] | So you brought them here? | 所以你就把她们带过来了 |
| [1:02:16] | Well, yeah, you know, I don’t know what’s going on, you know? | 我不知道到底发生了什么 |
| [1:02:18] | You know what the fuck you’re doing. | 你心里明白你在做什么 |
| [1:02:20] | I’m not the one doing the asking, it’s your daughters. | 不是我要来的 是孩子们需要你 |
| [1:02:22] | Well, maybe I don’t want to see them either! | 也许我也不想见她们 |
| [1:02:33] | Dee? | 迪 |
| [1:02:46] | Dee? | 迪在吗 |
| [1:03:00] | – Dee? – Uh… hello. | -迪 -你好 |
| [1:03:04] | – Who’s this? -Gary, it’s Tim. | -你是谁 -加里我是蒂姆 |
| [1:03:07] | Yeah, you’re the VIP, huh? | 你就是那个重要客户 对吗 |
| [1:03:09] | I looked you up online. | 我在网上查过你 |
| [1:03:11] | You’re a nobody, pal. | 你是个无名小卒 |
| [1:03:12] | I don’t know what kind of BS that you’re shoving | 我不知道你给我老婆都胡说了些什么 |
| [1:03:14] | in my wife, but you better knock it off. | 但是你最好给我滚蛋 |
| [1:03:16] | Gary, Dee’s upset right now. | 加里 迪现在心情不好 |
| [1:03:19] | She’s super pissed, man. | 她气疯了 兄弟 |
| [1:03:21] | And she’s going to need some time and some space from you. | 她需要一些自己的时间和空间 |
| [1:03:25] | Now I’m leaving, bright and early in the morning, | 我明天一大早就走了 |
| [1:03:28] | so you’re not going to have to worry about my lame ass anymore. | 所以你没必要再担心我这个无名小卒了 |
| [1:03:31] | She’s not answering her cellphone. | 她不接电话 |
| [1:03:33] | Dee doesn’t own a cell anymore. | 迪现在没有手机 |
| [1:03:35] | We smashed that shit up 18 hours ago. | 我们十八小时前就把手机砸了 |
| [1:03:38] | Have you and her… | 你和她 |
| [1:03:40] | – Did you… – What is this, junior high? | -你们有没有 -你以为还是初中吗 |
| [1:03:42] | We’re way past that, man. | 我们早就过了那个阶段 |
| [1:03:44] | We did all kinds of things. | 该做的都做了 |
| [1:03:47] | You probably want to know if we made out up at the lake? | 你可能想知道我们是不是在湖边做爱了 |
| [1:03:51] | Well, the answer is, yeah, Gary. | 没错 加里我们做了 |
| [1:03:54] | And it was really awesome. | 并且那真是爽翻天 |
| [1:03:56] | But what did you do, Gary? | 加里你呢 你做什么了 |
| [1:03:58] | What, did you go fall in love with your little sidepiece? | 你是不是爱上你的小黄片了 |
| [1:04:01] | Because I thought you were just into like CFNM on the internet. | 我以为你只喜欢网上的穿衣女和裸体男 |
| [1:04:05] | – Now, you listen to me. – No, you listen, Gary, | -你听我说 -应该是你听我说加里 |
| [1:04:08] | ’cause here’s a little bit of advice. | 因为我想提点建议 |
| [1:04:09] | Clear that browser history, bro, | 学会清除浏览记录 兄弟 |
| [1:04:12] | okay? And close out of your email. | 行吗 还有记得下线你的邮箱 |
| [1:04:14] | But I, I didn’t… | 但我没有 |
| [1:04:15] | I know, man. I know where you’re going with this. | 我知道你接下来要说什么 |
| [1:04:18] | But you can’t have it both ways, Gary. | 但是你不可能把好处全占了加里 |
| [1:04:21] | Either you’re having an affair with | 一边和辛西娅搞外遇 |
| [1:04:24] | and you’re covering your ass, or you’re not. | 一边掩饰你的行为 你不能那样 |
| [1:04:27] | It didn’t just happen. | 那是不可能的 |
| [1:04:29] | How’d you know her name? | 你怎么知道她的名字 |
| [1:04:30] | How do you think I know her name, dipshit? | 白痴 你以为我怎么知道她的名字 |
| [1:04:33] | Gary, I’m a lot like you, man. | 加里 我和你很像 |
| [1:04:38] | Hey, me and you are like a lot of other dudes. | 我们就和大多数男的一样 |
| [1:04:43] | Have you ever seen City Slickers? | 你看过《城市乡巴佬》吗 |
| [1:04:46] | It’s kind of like that. | 就和那个差不多 |
| [1:04:48] | I mean, it’s different because they’re on a cattle drive, | 不一样的地方只有他们是赶牛的 |
| [1:04:50] | but… guys like me and you… | 但是像我和你这样的人 |
| [1:04:55] | we hurt people that we claim to love. | 我们伤害那些我们口口声声说爱的人 |
| [1:04:57] | Then we do it over and over again. | 然后我们一遍又一遍地那样做 |
| [1:05:00] | But one thing I would never do to my wife | 但有一件事我绝不会对我老婆做的 |
| [1:05:03] | is use our child to hide behind. | 就是用我们的孩子当挡箭牌 |
| [1:05:07] | Is Dee standing right there? | 迪就站在那里吗 |
| [1:05:10] | Go home, Gary. | 回家吧 加里 |
| [1:05:12] | She’ll be there when she gets there. | 等她准备好了她会回去的 |
| [1:05:19] | Okay, thank you, Ruthie. | 好了 谢谢你 露丝. |
| [1:05:23] | Okay, girls, we’re just going to go home, okay? | 好了 姑娘们我们回家吧 好吗 |
| [1:05:26] | And we’ll check in later. She’s busy working right now. | 我们晚点再来吧 她现在还在忙工作 |
| [1:05:38] | So is that why you’re getting a divorce? | 所以这是你离婚的原因吗 |
| [1:05:43] | Happened a few years ago. Um. | 发生在几年前 |
| [1:05:46] | A club in Topeka. | 托皮卡的一家俱乐部 |
| [1:05:47] | This… waitress who wouldn’t give me the time of day | 有个本来不肯搭理我的服务员 |
| [1:05:52] | until I came off stage, | 当我从台上下来的时候 |
| [1:05:54] | and suddenly I was attractive. | 她突然觉得我很迷人 |
| [1:05:55] | She came up to me at the bar and said, “You’re so funny.” | 她走到吧台对我说”你真有趣” |
| [1:05:59] | Oh, my God. Yeah. | 我的天 |
| [1:06:02] | Just like you. | 就和你一样 |
| [1:06:04] | So… we started talking and… we kept in touch. | 然后我们开始聊天而且一直保持联系 |
| [1:06:13] | I saw quite a bit of her. | 我见过她不少次 |
| [1:06:16] | So how’d you get caught? | 所以你是怎么被发现的 |
| [1:06:18] | It doesn’t matter. | 那不重要 |
| [1:06:25] | And your wife stayed with you? | 你妻子没有离开你吗 |
| [1:06:31] | She forgave you? | 她原谅你了吗 |
| [1:06:34] | She said she did. | 她说她原谅了 |
| [1:06:36] | Do you believe her? | 你相信她吗 |
| [1:06:38] | Do you? | 你信吗 |
| [1:06:41] | Guess how many men I’ve fucked, Tim. | 你猜我睡过几个男人 蒂姆 |
| [1:06:45] | – I don’t really want to… – Two. | -我并不 -两个 |
| [1:06:47] | – See, that’s why I didn’t… – Him and you. | -看 这就是为什么我不 -你和他 |
| [1:06:51] | I was 20-fucking-years-old when I married that man. | 我嫁给他的时候才二十岁 |
| [1:06:55] | I was the cautious one. | 我是那个不确定的人 |
| [1:07:00] | I was the unsure one. | 我是那个犹豫不决的人 |
| [1:07:04] | We’re young… there’s no need to rush anything. | 我们很年轻 没必要急着结婚 |
| [1:07:07] | And he proposed to me anyway. | 但他还是向我求婚了 |
| [1:07:11] | He proposed to me at a division three college basketball game. | 他在一场大学篮球赛的第三节向我求婚了 |
| [1:07:16] | On the jumbotron? | 在大屏幕上吗 |
| [1:07:17] | No! There’s no jumbotron, Tim. | 不 那儿没有大屏幕 蒂姆 |
| [1:07:21] | Have you ever heard of Augsburg College in Minneapolis? | 你听过明尼阿波利斯市的奥格斯堡学院吗 |
| [1:07:24] | – No. – No, no one has, Tim. | -没有 -没有人听说过蒂姆 |
| [1:07:27] | No one’s heard of the Augsburg Auggies | 没有人听说过在明尼阿波利斯市的 |
| [1:07:30] | in Minneapolis, | 奥格斯堡 奥格吉斯 |
| [1:07:31] | and they don’t have a fucking jumbotron | 而且在他们的篮球场上 |
| [1:07:34] | at their fucking basketball games. | 没有他妈的大屏幕 |
| [1:07:38] | This is one of those things you should be writing down. | 像这种事你就应该写下来 |
| [1:08:05] | So what are your plans tomorrow? | 所以你明天有什么计划 |
| [1:08:10] | I haven’t really thought about it. | 我还没想好 |
| [1:08:13] | What time do the cleaning ladies come? | 清洁女工什么时候来 |
| [1:08:16] | Like 10:30 or so. | 大概十点半吧 |
| [1:08:20] | I’ll probably get a wake up call like 9:45. | 那我大概会在九点四十五分接到叫醒电话 |
| [1:08:24] | Try to make it to the breakfast buffet before they close. | 尽量赶在关门前吃顿自助早餐 |
| [1:08:29] | To have a waffle? | 为了吃块华夫饼吗 |
| [1:08:33] | Yeah. | 是的 |
| [1:08:37] | And then get on the road. | 然后上路 |
| [1:08:40] | To see Sean. | 去看你儿子 |
| [1:08:42] | Your son? | 肖恩吗 |
| [1:08:59] | That one means father and that one means son. | 这个刺青代表父亲那个代表儿子 |
| [1:09:08] | Japanese. | 是日语 |
| [1:09:11] | Why? | 为什么 |
| [1:09:13] | Because I’m so fucking original. | 因为我太他妈有创意了 |
| [1:09:21] | What are your plans? | 你接下来怎么打算 |
| [1:09:26] | I have no idea. | 我毫无头绪 |
| [1:09:33] | How cool is that? | 那可真酷啊 |
| [1:10:16] | Um, maybe you should take that vodka. | 也许你应该拿走那瓶伏特加 |
| [1:10:18] | I think you’re going to need it more than me. | 我觉得你比我更需要它 |
| [1:10:39] | You should probably have this too. | 把这个也拿上吧 |
| [1:10:43] | I can’t take that. | 我不能收下那个 |
| [1:10:45] | I told you, I’m retired. | 我告诉你了 我退休了 |
| [1:10:46] | I know, but those are your jokes. | 我知道 但是那些是属于你的笑话 |
| [1:10:48] | But not if I give them to you. | 但如果我把它们给你就不是了 |
| [1:10:50] | Plus, you won’t even really use them, you know? | 而且 你甚至不会真的用它们 知道吗 |
| [1:10:54] | The stuff that you come up with is going to be your own. | 你想出来的东西都是你自己的 |
| [1:10:58] | Way better than 900 jokes about boners and buttholes. | 比九百个关于蠢蛋和傻帽的笑话好多了 |
| [1:11:04] | Just take it. | 收下吧 |
| [1:11:09] | And if I can just give you one little thing of advice. | 我能给你点建议吗 |
| [1:11:16] | Now, this is coming from Tim Fletcher, | 下面这条来自蒂姆·弗莱彻 |
| [1:11:20] | currently headlining at a hotel | 目前在明尼苏达州的国际瀑布城 |
| [1:11:23] | in International Falls, Minnesota, so. | 的一家酒店当表演嘉宾 |
| [1:11:26] | Grain of salt. | 听起来不像真的 |
| [1:11:28] | If you go through with this… just tell the truth… | 如果你经历了这些 说实话就好 |
| [1:11:36] | no matter how ugly it is. | 不管真相多么可怕 |
| [1:11:38] | Be yourself. | 做你自己 |
| [1:11:40] | Because you’re authentic and you’re fucking funny. | 因为你很真实而且真他妈的搞笑 |
| [1:11:46] | Maybe I could get one more. | 我能再来一次吗 |
| [1:11:57] | I was going to say handjob. | 我是打算说手活的 |
| [1:12:01] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [1:12:09] | Bye, Tim. | 再见 蒂姆 |
| [1:12:21] | Bye, Dee. | 再见 迪 |
| [1:12:30] | Hey, um, it’s me. | 喂 是我 |
| [1:12:33] | I know it’s late but I was hoping I could talk to him. | 我知道现在很晚了但我想跟他说句话 |
| [1:12:40] | Can you just please tell him that I love him. | 你能告诉他我爱他吗 |
| [1:12:44] | And, uh, tell him I’m sorry, okay? | 告诉他我很抱歉 好吗 |
| [1:12:51] | I hope he likes the moose. | 我希望他喜欢那个麋鹿 |
| [1:12:55] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [1:13:56] | I’m sorry. | 对不起 |
| [1:14:02] | Do you think I’m funny? | 你觉得我有趣吗 |
| [1:14:05] | Yeah. | 当然 |
| [1:14:08] | Yeah, I think you’re funny. | 我觉得你非常有趣 |
| [1:14:11] | And you’re beautiful and, and… | 还很漂亮还有 |
| [1:14:16] | y… you’re funny, uh. | 你很有趣 |
| [1:14:21] | I’m not leaving you. | 我不是要离开你 |
| [1:14:25] | That’s not how this is going to be described. | 说离开不准确 |
| [1:14:28] | We’re ending our marriage | 我们离婚吧 |
| [1:14:30] | because we both know that it’s over. | 因为我们都知道一切都结束了 |
| [1:14:34] | We can sell the house or you can live in it, | 我们可以卖掉房子或者你可以住在这儿 |
| [1:14:36] | but I’m not going to live here anymore. | 但我不会再住在这里了 |
| [1:14:40] | We’ll share custody of the girls. | 我们共同享有女儿们的抚养权 |
| [1:14:44] | We can tell them together. | 我们可以一起告诉她们 |
| [1:14:46] | We’ll talk to their teachers and their counselors | 我们会和她们学校的老师和辅导员 |
| [1:14:50] | or whatever, at school. | 或者别的什么人谈谈 |
| [1:14:54] | I’m not using your infidelity… | 我不会利用你的不忠 |
| [1:14:59] | as leverage for anything, | 作为任何事情的筹码 |
| [1:15:02] | except your silence in this moment. | 但你现在该说点什么 |
| [1:15:11] | Fuck you, Gary. | 去你的 加里 |
| [1:15:14] | I wasn’t happy either. | 我也不高兴 |
| [1:15:16] | We could’ve at least talked about it. | 我们至少可以一起谈谈 |
| [1:15:20] | I’m sorry I pretended to be happier than I was. | 很抱歉我假装很快乐 |
| [1:15:27] | To think that you thought I was that stupid. | 一想到你以为我那么蠢 |
| [1:15:33] | You know… | 你知道吗 |
| [1:15:36] | I mean, God. | 我说 拜托 |
| [1:15:39] | It’s so… | 这太 |
| [1:15:54] | God, okay. | 我的天 |
| [1:15:59] | Okay. | 好了 |
| [1:16:00] | I don’t have to actually ask you to sleep on the couch, right? | 我不需要真的请你去睡沙发 对吧 |
| [1:17:36] | So, did he say anything that | 那他有没有说什么 |
| [1:17:38] | might’ve made you think that he… | 可能会让你觉得他 |
| [1:17:42] | – No, no. – Perfect. | -没 并没有 -很好 |
| [1:17:44] | No, I mean, I knew that it was his last show | 但是 我知道这是他最后一次演出了 |
| [1:17:45] | – as a comedian. – Perfect. | -作为一个喜剧演员 -很好 |
| [1:17:48] | And I knew he had the pills, but he said | 我知道他有药 但他说 |
| [1:17:50] | – that they were his ex-wife’s, so, uh… – Perfect. | -那是他前妻的 所以 -很好 |
| [1:17:54] | I mean, you just… | 我是说 你根本 |
| [1:17:57] | I just didn’t think. | 我根本没想到 |
| [1:17:58] | Well, how could you? | 当然了 你怎么会想到 |
| [1:18:00] | It’s a crazy thing. | 这事太疯狂了 |
| [1:18:02] | When someone closes up their own fishing hole | 有人在春天冰化之前 |
| [1:18:05] | before the, uh, spring thaw. | 就把自己的钓鱼洞堵死了 |
| [1:18:07] | – You know, it’s, it’s sad. – Yeah. Yeah. | -这的确很令人悲伤 -是 |
| [1:18:12] | – Did he leave a note? – No. | -他留下字条了吗 -没有 |
| [1:18:15] | Uh, maybe you should have this. | 也许你该拿着这个 |
| [1:18:17] | It, uh, it belonged to him. | 这个是他的 |
| [1:18:19] | – What is it? – Uh, it’s his joke book. | -这是什么 -这是他的笑话本 |
| [1:18:21] | Has, like, jokes and ideas and thoughts. | 里面有 类似于 笑话点子和想法 |
| [1:18:26] | So, like a diary? | 那么 就像一本日记 |
| [1:18:28] | Uh, a journal. | 算是日志吧 |
| [1:18:30] | Perfect. Have you, have you looked at any of it? | 这很好 你有没有看过里面的内容 |
| [1:18:32] | Uh, yeah, pretty much all of it. | 有 大概所有都看了 |
| [1:18:35] | Anything I need to see? | 有没有我需要看的 |
| [1:18:36] | Probably not. | 大概没有 |
| [1:18:38] | Well, if he gave it to you then… | 那么 既然他送给了你 |
| [1:18:44] | Sorry you had to go through all this and all. | 很抱歉你得经历这一切 |
| [1:18:46] | I need anything else, I’ll give you a call at home. | 我还需要什么的话 会给你家打电话 |
| [1:18:49] | Uh, you know, actually, I’m, I’m staying here. | 事实上 我现在住在这里 |
| [1:18:54] | Yeah, no, it’s just for a few days. | 就几天而已 |
| [1:18:55] | You know, until I can find a place. | 在我找到新地方住之前 |
| [1:18:58] | Okay. | 明白 |
| [1:19:00] | Say hi to Gary for me. | 替我向加里问好 |
| [1:19:13] | You fucking asshole. | 你个混蛋 |
| [1:19:25] | Hey, uh. | 你好 |
| [1:19:27] | What about his personal things? | 他的私人物品在哪呢 |
| [1:19:29] | Oh, well, they’ll be right up for those. | 他们马上就来勘察现场了 |
| [1:19:32] | We should be all done within a couple of hours | 几个小时就能结束 |
| [1:19:34] | and then housekeeping can come on in. | 然后客房部就能进来了 |
| [1:19:36] | There wasn’t a big mess or anything, | 这里不是很乱 |
| [1:19:37] | just a little throw up on the sheets. | 只是床单上有一些呕吐物 |
| [1:19:39] | But you might want to tell them to give it | 但我建议你跟他们说声 |
| [1:19:41] | an extra pass, you know. | 需要出示额外通行证 |
| [1:20:30] | You fucking asshole. | 你个混蛋 |
| [1:20:41] | Come along, dear. | 这边 亲爱的 |
| [1:20:43] | Oh, welcome to International Falls. | 欢迎来到国际瀑布城 |
| [1:20:45] | – Checking in? – Hi. | -登记入住吗 -你好 |
| [1:20:46] | Yes, please. One room. | 是的 一间房 |
| [1:20:48] | – Ah, sure. – Two beds. | -好的 -两张床 |
| [1:20:54] | Fucking asshole. | 大混蛋 |
| [1:21:12] | Go on, there you go, keep going. | 去吧 这边 走吧 |
| [1:21:15] | Okay, fingers and toes? | 手套带好了吗 鞋穿好 |
| [1:21:18] | All right. | 好的 |
| [1:21:21] | ♪ On a stick that Makes me sick ♪ | ♪ 棍子上的东西让我生病 ♪ |
| [1:21:23] | ♪ That makes my tummy Go two, four, six ♪ | ♪ 让我的肚子咕咕叫 ♪ |
| [1:21:27] | ♪ Not because it’s dirty Not because it’s clean ♪ | ♪ 不是因为它脏 不是因为它干净 ♪ |
| [1:21:30] | ♪ Just because you kissed A boy behind a magazine ♪ | ♪ 就因为你在杂志后面亲了一个男孩 ♪ |
| [1:21:49] | Just saw a couple | 只要看见一对夫妻 |
| [1:21:51] | riding a tandem bike together unironically. | 和谐地一起骑双人脚踏车 |
| [1:21:54] | I will never be that happy in my life. | 我这辈子就再也不会开心了 |
| [1:22:00] | That I don’t try and be now. | 我不会再试着开心了 |
| [1:22:04] | If you’re ready. | 如果你们准备好了 |
| [1:22:07] | Yeah, okay. | 是的 好 |
| [1:22:19] | Well, welcome back to single life. | 欢迎回到单身生活 |
| [1:22:43] | Did you take your break? | 你休息过了吗 |
| [1:22:45] | Nope. | 没有 |
| [1:22:50] | Motherfuck, it’s so goddamn cold! | 妈的 太冷了 |
| [1:22:55] | I mean, I’ve been to Chicago a few times, | 我去过芝加哥几次 |
| [1:22:56] | but this is fucking cold! | 但这太他妈冷了 |
| [1:22:59] | Pardon my French. | 请原谅我的法语口音 |
| [1:23:00] | No, I know, I know, it is. | 没事 可以理解 |
| [1:23:03] | Bernie Bryce, comedian for tonight. | 我是伯尼•布莱斯 今晚的喜剧演员 |
| [1:23:05] | Yeah, I, I figured. | 好的 我知道了 |
| [1:23:08] | Were you guys here last week? | 上周你们也在这儿吗 |
| [1:23:12] | Did you see the comic, Tim Fletcher? | 你们见过喜剧演员蒂姆·弗莱彻吗 |
| [1:23:16] | – Yes. – That fucking asshole. | -见过 -那个大混蛋 |
| [1:23:20] | He was a friend of mine. Well, I considered him a friend. | 他是我朋友 好吧 我把他当朋友 |
| [1:23:23] | I don’t know what he considered me, but. | 但我不知道他是不是把我当朋友 |
| [1:23:24] | You know what? I don’t give a fuck. We were friends. | 你知道吗 我才不管 我们就是朋友 |
| [1:23:27] | We went on the road a few times, stuff like that, you know? | 我们一起巡演过几次 你知道吗 |
| [1:23:31] | I’m sorry, it must be hard. | 抱歉 一定很难过 |
| [1:23:33] | Yeah. | 是的 |
| [1:23:36] | It is. | 确实 |
| [1:23:37] | Every time. | 每次都是 |
| [1:23:42] | Hey, are you the one who wants to be a comic? | 是你想成为喜剧演员吗 |
| [1:23:45] | Um. Yeah, she is. | 对 是她 |
| [1:23:48] | You know, uh, Tim sent me an email, | 蒂姆给我发了邮件 |
| [1:23:50] | he knew I was coming this week. | 他知道我这周来 |
| [1:23:52] | Said you were really funny and I should give you some time. | 他告诉我你很有趣 让我给你点时间 |
| [1:23:55] | – Time? – Yeah. | -时间吗 -是的 |
| [1:23:56] | Stage time. | 表演时间 |
| [1:23:58] | You want it? | 想要吗 |
| [1:23:59] | Uh… sure. | 当然 |
| [1:24:02] | Well, right on. All right, look. Five would be great, | 好吧 就这样 五分钟就够 |
| [1:24:05] | ten will be even better, but I’ll take what I can get | 十分钟更好 但我会尽我所能 |
| [1:24:07] | and I’ll give you a 100 bucks out of what I make. | 我会从我赚的钱里给你一百块 |
| [1:24:11] | Okay, yeah, sure, yes, sure, of course! | 好 当然 当然 |
| [1:24:14] | All right. All right, you know the kid who’s, uh, hosting? | 好的 你认识主持的那个孩子吗 |
| [1:24:18] | – Yes. – All right, well, can you fill him in? | -认识 -你能告诉他一下吗 |
| [1:24:20] | Sure thing. All right. | 当然 我会告诉他 |
| [1:24:22] | Yeah. Um, okay, so, uh, here’s your room. It’s, uh, | 好 这是你的房卡 |
| [1:24:24] | it’s room 219. | 房号是219 |
| [1:24:26] | – And that’s on the second floor? – Right. | -在二楼 -是的 |
| [1:24:31] | Hey, are there Canadians here? | 这里有加拿大人吗 |
| [1:24:33] | ‘Cause I, I hate Canadians. | 因为我讨厌加拿大人 |
| [1:24:35] | Uh, uh, yes, there will be some. | 是的 有几个 |
| [1:24:37] | Ah, Goddamn Canadians, they suck at heckling. | 该死的加拿大人 最烦他们喝倒彩 |
| [1:24:40] | Yeah, it’s just constructive criticism. | 他们只是建设性地批评 |
| [1:24:44] | You’re going to be funny tonight. | 今晚你一定很有趣 |
| [1:24:54] | Well, up first, uh, tonight we have a hometown gal | 首先 今晚有个本地姑娘 |
| [1:24:57] | making her standup comedy debut. | 她首次出演单口喜剧 |
| [1:24:59] | Uh, she insisted that I say that so as | 她坚称我这么说 |
| [1:25:01] | to lower the bar but, uh, | 是为了降低对她的要求但 |
| [1:25:02] | she won’t need any help, she’s great. | 她很棒不需要我这样帮她 |
| [1:25:04] | Please give a lot of love to Miss Dee Williamson. | 让我们热烈欢迎迪·威廉姆森小姐 |
| [1:25:11] | Go Dee! | 来吧 迪 |
| [1:25:16] | Hi. Hi, everybody. Oh, wait, one second. | 大家好 等等 等一下 |
| [1:25:21] | Let’s get this. | 把这个摆好 |
| [1:25:26] | I’m just going to record this. | 我要录下来 |
| [1:25:28] | This is going to be worth a lot of money someday. | 有一天这会很值钱 |
| [1:25:30] | So, okay. | 好了 |
| [1:25:32] | All right, well, okay. | 好 好 |
| [1:25:35] | All right. | 可以了 |
| [1:25:36] | All right, well, um, uh… | 好 |
| [1:25:40] | Hi, everybody. Thanks so much, | 大家好 很感谢 |
| [1:25:42] | whoops, for coming out tonight, um. | 哎呦 感谢大家的到来 |
| [1:25:45] | As, what’s his name said, this is my first time doing this. | 正如他说 我是第一次表演 |
| [1:25:52] | Um, you might know me from, well, uh… anywhere, | 你可能见过我 在任何地方 |
| [1:25:58] | uh, because there are like five buildings in, uh, the town, | 因为镇上只有大概五栋楼 |
| [1:26:03] | so we all know each other. | 所以我们都认识对方 |
| [1:26:05] | Which could hurt me, you know, or help me | 这是好事 也可能是坏事 |
| [1:26:07] | depending on if you’re friends with my ex-husband. | 取决于你是不是我前夫的朋友 |
| [1:26:09] | So I’m just going to take a little test, you know, | 那么我要做个小测试 |
| [1:26:12] | just take the temperature of the room and see how it is. | 量一下这房间多少度 看一下 |
| [1:26:15] | You know, see what I’m dealing with. | 看一下我表演的环境如何 |
| [1:26:17] | So, um, so, so, my husband’s penis is so small | 我老公的小弟弟太小了 |
| [1:26:22] | that I got divorced this week. | 所以这周我离婚了 |
| [1:26:27] | Yeah, okay. Okay. | 好的 好的 |
| [1:26:29] | That’s a good sign, that’s a good sign. | 这是个好兆头 这是个好兆头 |
| [1:26:32] | Um, I, I don’t want to be too mean because I recognize some of, | 我不想太刻薄因为我认出了一些人 |
| [1:26:35] | uh, I see like an old, uh, high school hockey player | 就像那个前高中曲棒球运动员 |
| [1:26:38] | friend of his from, from way back in the audience, right? | 是他的朋友 在观众席后部 对吧 |
| [1:26:41] | So you, so you already know about his tiny dick. | 所以你早就知道他的小弟弟很小 |
| [1:26:45] | Okay, so. Um. | 好 |
| [1:26:47] | Okay, so, my ex-husband loves pornography. Loves it. | 我前夫爱看黄片 真的很爱 |
| [1:26:50] | Loves it, can’t get enough of it. | 爱惨了的那种 |
| [1:26:51] | The kind of porn that he’s into | 他喜欢的那种小黄片 |
| [1:26:54] | is, uh, it’s called CFNM. | 叫CFNM |
| [1:26:59] | Clean Fingers Never Masturbate, right? | 干净的手指从不手淫 对吧 |
| [1:27:01] | I mean, right, that’s what that means. | 是这个意思吧 |
| [1:27:03] | Right, right? No, no. | 对吗 对吗 不 不 |
| [1:27:05] | It actually means Clothed Female Naked Male. | 其实是穿衣女和裸体男 |
| [1:27:11] | I mean, it, it doesn’t really matter to me. I mean, we all know | 对我来说没什么 我们都知道 |
| [1:27:14] | he’s watching it for the big dicks, right? | 他是为了看大鸡儿什么样 对吧 |
| [1:27:18] | Okay, so, uh. | 好 |
| [1:27:29] | No, um, actually. | 其实不是 |
| [1:27:31] | Actually, I left my ex-husband, uh, because he cheated on me. | 事实是我甩了我前夫 因为他出轨了 |
| [1:27:36] | Cheated on me. Yeah, I know, I caught him. | 他出轨了 被我发现了 |
| [1:27:41] | CFNM CFNM. | |
| [1:27:43] | Corn-Fed Narcissistic Motherfucker. | 吃玉米的自恋混蛋 |
| [1:27:45] | That’s what that means. | 是这个意思 |
| [1:27:47] | That’s right. So, um, so get this. | 对 是这样 所以 |
| [1:27:51] | So get this. | 就这么说吧 |
| [1:27:52] | I’m pumping my gas… | 我正在加油 |
| [1:27:55] | all on my own, | 就我自己 |
| [1:27:57] | because now I’m divorced and I’m free and I’m independent. | 因为我离婚了 我重获自由且独立 |
| [1:28:00] | Guess who pulls up right next to me, | 猜猜谁的车停在我旁边 |
| [1:28:02] | while I’m at the gas station? | 当我在加油站的时候 |
| [1:28:05] | Guess who, just take a wild stab. | 猜猜是谁大力促成了我们碰面 |
| [1:28:09] | I mean, I knew I was going to see her eventually, right? | 我知道我总会见到她的 对吗 |
| [1:28:14] | But only in this stupid charming fucking little town | 但只有在这个愚蠢又迷人的小镇上 |
| [1:28:17] | would it happen that fast. | 它才会来的这么快 |
| [1:28:19] | I mean, so, yeah, | 没错 |
| [1:28:21] | there she was right in front of me. | 她就在我面前 |
| [1:28:23] | So I did the mature thing… | 我的做法很成熟 |
| [1:28:27] | and I follow her in. | 我跟她着进去 |
| [1:28:30] | Mm-hmm. Yeah. | 是的 |
| [1:28:33] | I follow her in, and when I get in there, | 我跟着她 当我进去的时候 |
| [1:28:34] | you know, she’s not in there and I’m thinking, | 她不在里面 我在想 |
| [1:28:36] | “Where did, where did this girl go? Did she, uh, | “人呢 她去哪了 她就 |
| [1:28:39] | did she just vanish right back to hell? | 她就这么回地狱了吗 |
| [1:28:41] | Or she’s in the bathroom throwing up | 或者她正在卫生间吐 |
| [1:28:43] | to make more room for my husband’s semen.” | 给我丈夫的精液腾位置” |
| [1:28:47] | There’s like a bunch of canes over here, like, by, uh, | 旁边好像有一堆拐杖放在 |
| [1:28:49] | you know, like the kind of shit you see | 你知道吗 就像你看到的那种 |
| [1:28:51] | in like, Cracker Barrel and stuff. And so, I pick up a cane. | 饼干桶一样的玩意儿 我拿起一根拐杖 |
| [1:28:55] | No fucking clue what I’m going to say or do, | 完全不知道要说什么或做什么 |
| [1:28:58] | when yes, she opens the door. | 这时 她打开了门 |
| [1:29:02] | And like, I mean, I’m razor-focused on this bitch, | 我凶神恶煞地盯着这个婊子 |
| [1:29:06] | and she looks a bit startled, if not a bit scared, right? | 她看起来有点吃惊 甚至有点害怕 |
| [1:29:10] | At what I’m going to do. | 害怕我会做点什么 |
| [1:29:12] | And I lay it on her with this. | 我拿着拐杖问她 |
| [1:29:19] | Is this yours? | 是你的吗 |
| [1:29:22] | No. | 不是 |
| [1:29:23] | Oh, oh, okay. | 好吧 |
| [1:29:26] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [1:29:28] | But then all of a sudden this… | 但突然间 |
| [1:29:31] | this wall of shit smell comes all over my body, | 我身上到处都是屎味 |
| [1:29:38] | up into my nostrils… and into my lungs, | 钻进了我的鼻孔和我的肺 |
| [1:29:43] | and I’m thinking, “Oh, my God.” | 我在想”我的天” |
| [1:29:46] | And I look at her and I say: | 我看着她说 |
| [1:29:48] | Wait. You poop | 等等 你拉屎了吗 |
| [1:29:50] | in gas station bathrooms? | 在加油站的卫生间吗 |
| [1:29:57] | You’re disgusting! | 你真恶心 |
| [1:30:03] | All right. | 真棒 |
| [1:30:06] | And then I beat her to death with the cane. | 然后我用拐杖把她打死了 |
| [1:30:16] | I did. | 我打了 |
| [1:30:18] | I did, you guys. That cane is nowhere to be found now. | 我打死她了 大家 那根拐杖现在不见了 |
| [1:30:22] | I don’t know where it is, but if it | 我不知道它在哪 但是 |
| [1:30:23] | ever comes back to me, it ain’t mine. | 如果它出现了 也不是我的那根 |
| [1:30:37] | No. Stay away! | 不 让开 |
| [1:30:39] | Get away! | 离我远点 |
| [1:30:50] | So, yes, I’m a freshly divorced mother of two, | 我是个刚离婚带着两个孩子的妈妈 |
| [1:30:53] | with an alarmingly low amount of menstrual cycles left, | 月经少的惊人 |
| [1:30:57] | embarking on a comedy career in standup. | 登上单口喜剧的舞台 |
| [1:31:00] | That’s right. That’s right, fellas, | 没错 没错大家 |
| [1:31:03] | the line starts right here. | 就从这开始 |
| [1:31:06] | It’s right here. | 就是现在 |
| [1:31:07] | CFNM? | 什么是CFNM |
| [1:31:08] | Clitoris Finds New Meaning. | 阴蒂有了新的意义 |
| [1:31:13] | But I should really warn you guys. | 但我要警告你们 |
| [1:31:15] | I mean, seriously, I really need to warn you guys | 真的 我得警告你们 |
| [1:31:17] | that the, the, uh, the last man I fucked | 我睡的上一个男人 |
| [1:31:21] | committed suicide right after. | 完事后就自杀了 |
| [1:31:26] | Now, if that’s not a mindfuck, I don’t know what is. | 如果他还不算疯子 我就不知道谁算了 |
| [1:31:28] | I mean, I get it. I, I get it, you don’t want a second date. | 其实我懂的 你不想约第二次 |
| [1:31:36] | I was a little depressed, after that, | 那之后我有点沮丧 |
| [1:31:39] | you know, in fairness, I was, you know? You know? | 平心而论 我 你知道吗 |
| [1:31:43] | I mean, driving a man to his death just from | 就因为睡我不够爽 |
| [1:31:45] | the sheer disappointment of fucking me? | 有个男人自杀了 |
| [1:31:50] | It’s harsh, it’s harsh. I mean, my God. | 这太残酷了 太残酷了 我的天 |
| [1:31:54] | But then I changed my mind, ’cause I thought | 但我改变了想法 因为我想 |
| [1:31:57] | maybe after we, you know, we, we put on our clothes | 可能 我们睡完穿上衣服 |
| [1:32:00] | and said our goodbyes, that he had a thought, | 说了再见 然后他想到 |
| [1:32:05] | you know, and that he realized… | 他意识到 |
| [1:32:08] | it’s never going to get any better than that. | 以后再也不会这么爽了 |
| [1:32:09] | Right? | 对吗 |
| [1:32:12] | I mean, I made a bucket list | 我列了个愿望清单 |
| [1:32:15] | and a fuck it list in one night. | 一晚上就他妈列出来了 |
| [1:32:17] | I, I am the pinnacle. | 我是顶峰 |
| [1:32:21] | I am Everest. | 珠穆朗玛峰 |
| [1:32:25] | The Aurora Borealis. | 北极光 |
| [1:32:27] | The Grand Canyon. | 大峡谷 |
| [1:32:29] | Seriously, I’ve had two children. | 说真的 我有两个孩子了 |
| [1:32:32] | I mean, once you’ve had me… there’s no reason to go on. | 如果你是我 可能会觉得没必要活下去了 |
| [1:32:40] | But please, folks… | 但是 朋友们 |
| [1:32:43] | please. | 请继续 |
| [1:32:49] | Try. | 努力生活 |