时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
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[00:00] | Okay, so to review our family tree, | |
[00:02] | Jane had a son with Rafael, and he was kind of a handful. | |
[00:06] | So we would like you to get him an aid. | |
[00:08] | Petra had twin girls with Rafael. | |
[00:10] | They were kind of perfect. | |
[00:12] | Which meant that Petra, well, | |
[00:14] | she was now queen bee of the preschool. | |
[00:16] | But Petra had other troubles. | |
[00:18] | For one, ex-employee Scott had died on the beach | |
[00:21] | in front of the Marbella, and she had… | |
[00:23] | I just scooched him over a little bit. | |
[00:24] | And that’s not all. | |
[00:25] | She was also hiding this. | |
[00:27] | – What’s this? – Don’t know. Came for you. | |
[00:29] | I know. Who has a burn book, right? | |
[00:32] | Well, Scott, obviously. | |
[00:33] | I know. Straight out of a Telenovela, right? | |
[00:36] | Well, imagine this. Jane’s father, Rogelio, | |
[00:38] | was estranged from her mother, Xiomara, | |
[00:40] | because Xo had been portrayed as evil on his reality show. | |
[00:43] | But Rogelio quit the show in a blaze of glory, | |
[00:45] | only to be sued. | |
[00:47] | Luckily, he found himself a lawyer: | |
[00:48] | Xo’s boyfriend, Bruce. | |
[00:50] | Actually, I mean her fiancé, because this happened. | |
[00:53] | – Will you marry me? – Yes. | |
[00:55] | So, yeah, relationships change quickly | |
[00:57] | around here, so pay attention, okay? | |
[01:01] | They say politics makes strange bedfellows. | |
[01:04] | You could say the same for prison. | |
[01:06] | By which I mean when your mutual baby daddy | |
[01:08] | – _ – starts his prison term, | |
[01:10] | you might find yourselves unexpectedly… closer. | |
[01:16] | You okay? | |
[01:18] | Yeah, I’ll be fine. | |
[01:20] | It’s only nine months. | |
[01:21] | Totally. It’ll fly by. | |
[01:30] | Petra? | |
[01:37] | I just really don’t want to mess this up. | |
[01:41] | Ruin them, you know? | |
[01:43] | You won’t ruin them. I promise. | |
[01:46] | Ah, yes, back then, | |
[01:48] | in motherhood know-how, Jane clearly dominated. | |
[01:52] | Mateo, please stop it. | |
[01:54] | – _ – No! | |
[01:55] | But, oh, how times have changed. | |
[01:57] | Come on. I have to get to work. | |
[02:00] | Please don’t leave me, Mommy! | |
[02:02] | No, no, no, no, no! | |
[02:04] | – Mommy, don’t go! – Mateo, please… | |
[02:06] | – I don’t want to go! – Please, okay? | |
[02:07] | I have to leave. You have to let go of me. | |
[02:09] | Need any help? | |
[02:10] | No, I’m good. Oh… | |
[02:11] | No, no, no! | |
[02:14] | _ | |
[02:21] | _ | |
[02:23] | So here’s the thing about Mateo. | |
[02:25] | He has the sweetest side, but… | |
[02:27] | – _ – Uh, let me stop you right there. | |
[02:31] | I like to go in without any preconceptions, you know? | |
[02:34] | Because if you put something out there, | |
[02:36] | that’s all I’m gonna be able to see. | |
[02:37] | And I want to be able to pick up what Mateo’s putting down. | |
[02:41] | You know, just discover him myself. | |
[02:43] | Yeah. Makes sense. | |
[02:46] | Totally get that. | |
[02:48] | Then again, | |
[02:49] | knowledge is power. | |
[02:50] | – Jane. – Mm-hmm. | |
[02:51] | Don’t stress. Next week, we’ll sit down, | |
[02:54] | I’ll tell you what I observed, | |
[02:56] | it’ll all be good. | |
[02:58] | Maybe I’ll just e-mail him. | |
[03:01] | That way, if he’s looking for more context, | |
[03:03] | he’ll already have it in his inbox. | |
[03:04] | He’s a professional. Let’s just let him do his thing. | |
[03:07] | Fine. I’ll just write a draft so it’s ready to send | |
[03:10] | in case he changes his mind. | |
[03:13] | Ooh, remember Jorge? | |
[03:14] | From the gift shop? | |
[03:16] | _ | |
[03:21] | And, friends, that’s when Jane heard him say… | |
[03:25] | Jorge broke up with his girlfriend! | |
[03:27] | – He did? – Yes! | |
[03:32] | _ | |
[03:34] | _ | |
[03:36] | Oh, my God, Ma, stop it. | |
[03:38] | You know you still like him. | |
[03:39] | Now’s your chance. Get in there. | |
[03:41] | Xiomara… | |
[03:42] | _ | |
[03:45] | He said the spark died months ago. | |
[03:46] | He wasn’t even upset. He’s totally open. | |
[03:48] | _ | |
[03:51] | I may have followed him into the gift shop. | |
[03:53] | What? | |
[03:54] | I had to buy these. Here, Mom. | |
[03:57] | They can be your âsomething blue.â | |
[03:58] | I just got engaged, Jane. | |
[04:00] | It’s a little early for accessorizing. | |
[04:03] | Come on, Ma. | |
[04:04] | It’s time to make your move. | |
[04:06] | And speaking of making moves… | |
[04:08] | Stop it right there. | |
[04:11] | I don’t recall inviting you in. | |
[04:14] | I know you’re still mad. | |
[04:16] | Damn straight I’m mad. | |
[04:18] | But think about it. | |
[04:20] | I didn’t have to tell you… | |
[04:23] | what I did. | |
[04:24] | To review… | |
[04:30] | Scott’s death was ruled an accident. | |
[04:32] | You never would have known. | |
[04:33] | The only reason I told you was… | |
[04:36] | because of us. | |
[04:38] | Come on, Chuck. | |
[04:40] | I like you. | |
[04:42] | More than I want to. | |
[04:49] | I’ll think about it. | |
[04:53] | And that’s how the hedgehog | |
[04:55] | and the alligator made up. | |
[04:57] | The end. | |
[04:59] | Okay, Mr. Sweetface, good night. | |
[05:02] | How come you’re never at school? | |
[05:06] | I just wen wand read to your class two weeks ago. | |
[05:09] | Yeah, but other moms are there more, | |
[05:12] | like for all the birthdays and special stuff. | |
[05:15] | I know, but I work. | |
[05:17] | So does Aunt Petra, and she’s the boss, | |
[05:21] | and she’s always there. | |
[05:22] | Yeah, well, it’s not a competition. | |
[05:24] | Sorry, Mommy, I just really miss you sometimes. | |
[05:28] | God, you’re so cute. | |
[05:30] | Stop it. I look terrible. | |
[05:32] | Impossible. | |
[05:34] | Good morning, future wife. | |
[05:36] | Good morning, future husband. | |
[05:40] | _ | |
[05:41] | Ah, yes, you recall Bruce is | |
[05:43] | – _ – representing Rogelio in his | |
[05:45] | breach-of-contract lawsuit. | |
[05:47] | _ | |
[05:49] | _ | |
[05:53] | _ | |
[05:54] | Are you regretting his proposal? | |
[05:56] | No. | |
[05:57] | Are you regretting mine? | |
[05:59] | What? Of course not. | |
[06:01] | Why would you even say that? | |
[06:03] | Just… I heard you up again last night. | |
[06:06] | How come you’re not sleeping? | |
[06:08] | Uh, I think it’s just stress. | |
[06:10] | I’m nervous about testifying at Rogelio’s trial. | |
[06:13] | Hon, it’s gonna be fine. | |
[06:16] | As long as Rogelio figures out | |
[06:18] | how to dress himself. | |
[06:20] | Sorry, I know it’s more than you signed up for. | |
[06:22] | _ | |
[06:25] | What are you doing? | |
[06:28] | I’m room mom. | |
[06:31] | Oh, uh, yeah. | |
[06:33] | I know you were last semester, | |
[06:35] | but you complained about it all the time, so… | |
[06:37] | Oh, I didn’t complain, I just stated realistically | |
[06:40] | the time demands, which I don’t think you understand. | |
[06:43] | I do understand. I can handle being room mom. | |
[06:45] | – Again, I’m room mom. – Well… | |
[06:47] | There doesn’t have to be just one. | |
[06:49] | Why don’t you | |
[06:51] | do it together? | |
[06:52] | Ha! | |
[06:53] | Oh, she’s serious. | |
[06:56] | – Um, sounds great. – Yeah, sure. | |
[07:05] | Hey, uh… | |
[07:07] | So, quick observation. | |
[07:10] | Impulse-control issues and loves attention, | |
[07:12] | – even if it’s negative attention. – Yeah. | |
[07:14] | So if we could just fast-track that solution… | |
[07:16] | Yeah. Reward positive behavior, ignore negative behavior. | |
[07:21] | Even if you feel like you want to scream, | |
[07:22] | just ignore, ignore, ignore. | |
[07:26] | Sounds like a plan. | |
[07:29] | Oh, and, uh, one more thing. | |
[07:31] | Lice notification. | |
[07:35] | – Ugh. – Ow! | |
[07:37] | Well, it only hurts because you’re squirming. | |
[07:40] | Ew, don’t lick the sink. | |
[07:43] | I’m cleaning it. | |
[07:44] | Remember, Jane, | |
[07:45] | ignore negative behavior. | |
[07:47] | Or super-weird behavior. | |
[07:50] | Hey, hey, after I check your hair, do you want to check mine? | |
[07:53] | Good idea! | |
[07:54] | Yeah! | |
[07:55] | Nice work, Jane. | |
[07:57] | Lice are little bugs, right? | |
[07:58] | Yep. I hope I get them. | |
[08:00] | No, you don’t hope you get them; they’re gross. | |
[08:03] | So you think Hannah L. and Finn are gross? | |
[08:06] | No, they’re not. No one is gross. | |
[08:09] | And you’re good. | |
[08:10] | Ha, ha, no lice! | |
[08:12] | Yay! Now I get to check you! | |
[08:14] | Yep. Come on, buddy. | |
[08:19] | There it is. | |
[08:21] | So gentle. | |
[08:22] | Good job. | |
[08:23] | Mr. Sweetface? | |
[08:24] | Hang on. | |
[08:28] | OMG! | |
[08:30] | Did he just… | |
[08:33] | Ignore, Jane. Ignore, ignore, ignore! | |
[08:36] | Mr. Sweetface, why-why don’t you go put your pajamas on. | |
[08:50] | – Whoop-whoop! There’s Mateo! – Here’s Mateo. | |
[08:54] | We had quite the night. | |
[08:55] | Shh, shh. Say bye to Mommy. | |
[08:58] | Bye, Mommy. | |
[08:59] | Hee-hee! Mwah! | |
[09:01] | Boom! Nice. | |
[09:03] | You’ve really got to try | |
[09:05] | not to discuss any issues in front of Mateo. | |
[09:07] | He’ll internalize them. | |
[09:08] | Well, maybe that’s better than forcing me | |
[09:10] | to externalize them. | |
[09:14] | He cut my hair. | |
[09:15] | Whoa. Did you freak? | |
[09:17] | No, I ignored it, like you said. | |
[09:19] | That’s awesome. | |
[09:20] | Well, I’m missing half my hair, | |
[09:22] | so I don’t feel as great about it as you do, but… Oh. | |
[09:25] | Morning, Petra. | |
[09:26] | I’ll see you at the room mom meeting. | |
[09:28] | Mm. Make sure you have reviewed all the initiatives | |
[09:30] | on our agenda so I don’t have to catch you up. | |
[09:32] | I have a very tight schedule. | |
[09:35] | Remember, ignore negative behavior. | |
[09:38] | Mrs. Solano, there are… | |
[09:40] | Not now, Krishna. | |
[09:41] | Two police in your office. | |
[09:43] | Some new information | |
[09:44] | has come to light about the Scott Archuletta case. | |
[09:47] | Sure. | |
[09:49] | Oh, no, they must know | |
[09:51] | she moved Scott’s bones. | |
[09:53] | What can you tell us about this? | |
[09:55] | Oh, I forgot all about | |
[09:57] | Scott’s burn book. | |
[09:58] | And I think Petra did, too. | |
[10:00] | How did you get that? | |
[10:03] | Hi there. | |
[10:05] | Why did you have it? | |
[10:08] | Scott left that book in his employee locker | |
[10:10] | after he was fired. | |
[10:12] | I obviously didn’t want anyone else to have it, | |
[10:13] | so I kept it safe. | |
[10:15] | Why didn’t you hand it over when he was found dead? | |
[10:17] | Because you guys told me it was an accident, | |
[10:19] | so I didn’t think it was relevant. | |
[10:21] | But, look, I was just trying | |
[10:22] | to spare my employees any embarrassment. | |
[10:23] | I mean, there’s gossip in there about all the… | |
[10:26] | Well, I-I’m sure you’ve read it. | |
[10:28] | We did. | |
[10:29] | He talked a lot about a guy | |
[10:30] | named J.P. Who’s that? | |
[10:32] | I have no idea. | |
[10:34] | There’s also a page missing. | |
[10:36] | And? | |
[10:37] | Did you remove it? | |
[10:39] | No, I didn’t. | |
[10:42] | Do I need a lawyer? | |
[10:43] | I don’t know. Do you? | |
[10:46] | Well, I was accounted for during the time of his death, | |
[10:49] | so I don’t appreciate these accusations. | |
[10:51] | We need to get in touch with your sister. | |
[10:53] | Good luck. I haven’t spoken to her in three years. | |
[11:02] | There’s no way it will end well. | |
[11:04] | Don’t be dramatic. | |
[11:06] | You and Petra? Co-room moms? | |
[11:08] | We’re adults, we’ll be fine. | |
[11:10] | Hey, Abuela. | |
[11:12] | Mm. | |
[11:13] | What’s wrong? | |
[11:15] | _ | |
[11:19] | _ | |
[11:21] | _ | |
[11:23] | Oh, Abuela… | |
[11:25] | Wait a minute. | |
[11:26] | When you say you went for it, what does that mean? | |
[11:28] | Wh-What was your move? | |
[11:31] | Now, these pirate shot glasses | |
[11:33] | are very well-made. | |
[11:41] | Ma, that’s nothing! | |
[11:43] | _ | |
[11:46] | Agreed, but there are steps in between. | |
[11:48] | _ | |
[11:52] | _ | |
[11:54] | Okay, so let’s change that. | |
[11:56] | – A sexy dress… – Oh. | |
[11:57] | Some heels, a little makeup. | |
[12:00] | Come on, | |
[12:01] | you’ve been in the friend zone too long. | |
[12:03] | Trust me. | |
[12:05] | When Jorge sees you next, he’s gonna say… | |
[12:08] | Oh, my God. | |
[12:09] | It must have been Abbey. | |
[12:10] | Uh, she walked in when I was hiding his burn book. | |
[12:13] | I was just… | |
[12:14] | trying to keep it out of the wrong hands. | |
[12:16] | It was obviously a mistake. | |
[12:19] | Come on. Where’s Zen Rafael, hmm? | |
[12:22] | Zen Rafael really doesn’t want to be caught up | |
[12:24] | in covering a crime. | |
[12:25] | Petra, I have been to prison. | |
[12:27] | I don’t want to go back. | |
[12:28] | I know. You won’t. | |
[12:31] | I’m really sorry. Okay? | |
[12:34] | But this is all me. I messed up. | |
[12:39] | And Chuck knows? | |
[12:40] | Only about the bones. | |
[12:42] | But he hasn’t said anything. | |
[12:44] | Yet. | |
[12:45] | It’s time. | |
[12:47] | Are you ready for Sunday Funday, Matelio?! | |
[12:49] | Yes! | |
[12:50] | So what’s the adventure this afternoon? | |
[12:52] | Sushi? Mani-pedis? | |
[12:53] | Well, my well-trusted counselor, Bruce, didn’t like | |
[12:57] | my court wardrobe choices, | |
[12:58] | so we’re gonna get fitted for bespoke suits. | |
[13:01] | _ | |
[13:03] | Downscale and very humble bespoke suits, of course. | |
[13:05] | And Grandma’s getting a dress, too! | |
[13:10] | Oh, terrific. | |
[13:13] | What are you thinking? | |
[13:14] | Black and tight. | |
[13:16] | For a wedding? | |
[13:17] | No, for my mom’s Jorge makeover. | |
[13:19] | Got it. | |
[13:20] | Are you ready to go, Matelio? | |
[13:22] | Adventure awaits, yes! | |
[13:33] | Everything okay, Mom? | |
[13:35] | Yeah, totally. Why? | |
[13:36] | Well, for someone planning a wedding, | |
[13:39] | you don’t seem that into planning a wedding. | |
[13:43] | Jane, I don’t know what’s wrong with me. | |
[13:46] | I mean, I really love him. | |
[13:49] | But? | |
[13:51] | I just feel nervous and I don’t know why. | |
[13:54] | I mean, things are good. | |
[13:56] | Not passionate like in the beginning… | |
[13:58] | It can’t always be like that. | |
[13:59] | Exactly. That’s what I keep telling myself. | |
[14:01] | This is what happens in relationships, | |
[14:03] | and I’m just not used to it | |
[14:04] | because I’ve never stayed in one long enough. | |
[14:06] | – Exactly. – And I self-sabotage, too. | |
[14:08] | This might just be that. | |
[14:10] | And so, I don’t want to overreact | |
[14:13] | and ruin something really good. | |
[14:16] | Really great. | |
[14:18] | True. | |
[14:20] | But… maybe you shake things up a little. | |
[14:24] | Try to get that spark back. | |
[14:27] | You want to be sure. | |
[14:30] | I have never been so sure in my life. | |
[14:33] | So normal. | |
[14:35] | Strikes the right balance between credible and gullible. | |
[14:38] | What do you think of yours, Matelio? | |
[14:42] | I look pretty good. | |
[14:44] | Never settle for good. Only great. | |
[14:48] | How can we make it great? | |
[14:50] | It’s a little itchy. | |
[14:51] | Let’s line it. Thai silk, please. | |
[14:54] | So, are you excited about Abuela’s wedding? | |
[14:57] | Will she have a bouncy house? | |
[14:59] | Probably not. | |
[15:02] | As long as she’s happy, though. | |
[15:06] | Do you think your Abuela is happy? | |
[15:09] | Uh, with Bruce? | |
[15:11] | I don’t know. | |
[15:15] | I don’t know either, Matelio. | |
[15:18] | Also hoping for the best… | |
[15:20] | Did you do something to your hair? | |
[15:21] | Well, me. | |
[15:23] | With this whole co-room mom thing. | |
[15:25] | Just thinned it out a little. Should we get down to business? | |
[15:27] | Yes, let’s first divide up responsibilities. | |
[15:29] | So, I have a format for the weekly newsletter, | |
[15:31] | so I’ll just keep sending that out. | |
[15:33] | Um, we have Spring Sing coming up, | |
[15:34] | so you can be in charge of photocopying the programs | |
[15:36] | and I’ll M.C. the event. Okay? | |
[15:38] | – Well… – Now, onto the drop-off situation. | |
[15:40] | I’m already hiring | |
[15:41] | a parking attendant. So, if you wouldn’t mind | |
[15:43] | just setting up the traffic cones in the morning, | |
[15:44] | I’ll greet. | |
[15:45] | So, Petra, | |
[15:47] | I can’t help but notice that you are giving me | |
[15:49] | all the grunt work and yourself all the glory work. | |
[15:51] | This is about the kids, Jane, not the glory. | |
[15:53] | Okay, well, I don’t even agree with some of these decisions. | |
[15:56] | For the kids. | |
[15:57] | Like what? | |
[15:59] | For one, I don’t think we need to hire a parking attendant. | |
[16:02] | That seems kind of wasteful. | |
[16:04] | Waste-Wasteful? | |
[16:05] | What, to protect our children from speeding cars? | |
[16:08] | We can ask for parent volunteers. | |
[16:10] | – Here we go. – I’m just saying that | |
[16:12] | it is possible to deal with a kids’ issue | |
[16:14] | without just hiring help. | |
[16:16] | Well, this is why we hold fundraisers, Jane. | |
[16:18] | I mean, where do you think the money | |
[16:19] | for the new reading nook came from? | |
[16:21] | Well, actually, that hasn’t been | |
[16:22] | officially designated a reading nook. | |
[16:24] | Oh, now you’re against reading. | |
[16:26] | I just think that | |
[16:28] | we can use a bigger indoor art space, | |
[16:30] | since the kids aren’t reading independently yet. | |
[16:32] | The girls started last week. | |
[16:34] | In French. | |
[16:35] | Touché, | |
[16:36] | Mademoiselle Solano. | |
[16:37] | Should we move onto lice? | |
[16:38] | Yes! This obviously requires urgent action. | |
[16:41] | So, uh, why don’t you just start by telling me | |
[16:43] | what you have against hiring Hair Bears, | |
[16:44] | a professional company, to do lice checks? | |
[16:46] | – Well, again, the expense. – So what do you want, | |
[16:47] | parent volunteers for that, too? | |
[16:49] | Yes, I do, actually. | |
[16:50] | Okay, great, thanks for volunteering as Lice Mom. | |
[16:51] | Okay, you know what? Working together was… | |
[16:53] | somewhat challenging for the two of us. | |
[16:56] | We just have different visions. | |
[16:57] | Both valid. | |
[16:58] | Totally. I just love so many of her ideas. | |
[17:00] | – Love. – Ditto. | |
[17:01] | No, it’s just, uh… | |
[17:02] | A little cumbersome having to make | |
[17:04] | all these bipartisan decisions. | |
[17:05] | So, we were thinking, why not have a runoff? | |
[17:07] | The kids can see democracy in action. | |
[17:09] | This time, free from Russian intervention. | |
[17:11] | Oh… | |
[17:11] | Ugh. Don’t remind me. | |
[17:13] | Okay. Just keep it friendly. | |
[17:15] | – Of course. – We’re family. | |
[17:16] | – So, serious? – No. | |
[17:18] | Sounds good. | |
[17:20] | Get ready, folks. | |
[17:22] | _ | |
[17:28] | So, where were we? Ah, yes. | |
[17:31] | The race for room mom. | |
[17:33] | Okay, so they are skeptical about not backing the incumbent, | |
[17:36] | but they do care about cubby hierarchy. | |
[17:38] | Great. Thanks. | |
[17:44] | _ | |
[17:46] | Hi, ladies. | |
[17:48] | Jane. | |
[17:49] | Hi. Funny, we were just talking about the election. | |
[17:52] | I know, it’s crazy, right? | |
[17:53] | Trust me, we wanted to do it together, | |
[17:55] | we just have such different visions, you know? | |
[17:58] | About where we want to take the school. | |
[18:00] | What behaviors | |
[18:01] | we want to reinforce. | |
[18:02] | What values we as a community stand for. | |
[18:06] | Plus, the cubby situation. | |
[18:09] | I’m sorry, that was petty. I should go high. | |
[18:12] | No, it’s an issue. | |
[18:14] | Petra’s friends get all the cubbies on top, | |
[18:15] | so they don’t have to kneel down all the time | |
[18:17] | to clear out the art projects. | |
[18:19] | We’ll do rotating cubbies. | |
[18:20] | Every three months, the kids will change. | |
[18:22] | But won’t that confuse them? | |
[18:24] | No. If anything, | |
[18:25] | it’ll reinforce name recognition. | |
[18:27] | And I’ll make little removable decals | |
[18:30] | that’ll make it easy for them to switch around. | |
[18:33] | Ooh. | |
[18:34] | Looks like they’re leaning teal. | |
[18:37] | Uh-oh. They’re going coral. | |
[18:39] | Oh, my God! Thank you, Petra. | |
[18:44] | Bad news: she’s trying to buy votes | |
[18:46] | by handing out spa gift cards. | |
[18:48] | Get over to the east side before she gets to anyone there. | |
[18:50] | I’ll hold down the base here. | |
[18:51] | Oh, no. | |
[18:52] | Not another close election, please. | |
[18:54] | I can’t take the stress. | |
[18:57] | Sorry, I just had to go to my happy place for a second. | |
[19:01] | Ladies, hi. | |
[19:03] | _ | |
[19:03] | We’re having a little promotion at our spa. | |
[19:05] | Thought I’d spread the fun. | |
[19:07] | Oh Jane, isn’t that Mateo’s aide coming? | |
[19:12] | Hey, you want to show your mommy | |
[19:14] | what you did today, buddy? | |
[19:15] | This is you. | |
[19:17] | Yikes. That kid is not an artist. | |
[19:21] | But it could be worse. | |
[19:23] | It’s you, Mommy. | |
[19:24] | Oh. | |
[19:25] | A dragon. | |
[19:26] | See? That’s worse. | |
[19:31] | Ready to go to martial arts? | |
[19:32] | – Mm-hmm. – Yeah. | |
[19:34] | Oh. | |
[19:35] | He clearly thinks you should rock the hair. | |
[19:39] | Yeah, that’s not me. | |
[19:41] | Well, not now, but like I tell Mateo, | |
[19:44] | people pick up what you’re putting down. | |
[19:45] | “You know, rock it, and suddenly you’re âEdgy Janeâ” | |
[19:48] | Yeah, okay. | |
[19:50] | Translation. | |
[19:51] | _ | |
[19:59] | Oh, wow. | |
[20:00] | Hello, Edgy Jane. | |
[20:10] | Work it. | |
[20:13] | What can I get you? | |
[20:15] | Surprise me. | |
[20:25] | I mean, his voice was still changing, | |
[20:28] | so I wouldn’t exactly say he’s Mr. Right. | |
[20:31] | But it made me think. | |
[20:33] | You know, you get what you put out. | |
[20:37] | And I guess I’ve just been projecting | |
[20:39] | this kind of Miss Havisham vibe out into the world ever since… | |
[20:42] | you know. | |
[20:44] | Well, I don’t know who that is, | |
[20:45] | but if you mean âhands off, I’ve got cobwebs down there,â | |
[20:48] | then, yeah, | |
[20:50] | that’s the vibe you’ve been throwing. | |
[20:52] | Come on, Ma. | |
[20:54] | Cobwebs? | |
[20:55] | Figure of speech. | |
[20:57] | So, are you ready, you think? | |
[20:59] | To start dating? | |
[21:00] | No. Definitely not. | |
[21:03] | My grief group said that I wouldn’t be ready | |
[21:04] | until I can get through the whole story of Michael’s death | |
[21:07] | without tearing up, and… well, you saw me at the reading. | |
[21:11] | _ | |
[21:14] | _ | |
[21:18] | Huh? | |
[21:20] | No. He won’t. | |
[21:22] | You look beautiful! | |
[21:26] | See? | |
[21:28] | Aw. | |
[21:31] | I’m glad she felt good. | |
[21:33] | You hungry? What should we order? | |
[21:35] | Nothing. | |
[21:36] | Let’s get drunk and go play pool. | |
[21:39] | What? Just, seeing my mom | |
[21:41] | all gussied up made me realize | |
[21:43] | that we haven’t been out in forever. | |
[21:46] | Let’s do something fun. | |
[21:49] | I’m in. | |
[21:52] | Okay, I’m buzzed. | |
[21:55] | And that means it’s time for me to defend my title, | |
[21:58] | best drunk pool player in Miami. | |
[22:01] | Uh, I don’t want to go out anymore. | |
[22:04] | I want to do something else. | |
[22:07] | Oh, yeah? | |
[22:09] | Yeah. | |
[22:10] | Mm… | |
[22:12] | And speaking of sexy… | |
[22:17] | Alba. | |
[22:20] | You-you look… | |
[22:21] | _ | |
[22:25] | Uh… | |
[22:35] | Oh, my God! | |
[22:37] | Yeah, not the OMG Alba was going for. | |
[22:43] | Is she mad? | |
[22:45] | _ | |
[22:49] | I mean, she’s not happy. | |
[22:51] | Oh. Should I come over? | |
[22:52] | Can I get you anything, Abuela? | |
[22:55] | _ | |
[22:59] | No. | |
[23:01] | _ | |
[23:03] | Maybe just give it a day. | |
[23:06] | Oof, Alba’s breathing fire. | |
[23:10] | Girls were already asleep. | |
[23:12] | They were exhausted. | |
[23:14] | What are you doing? | |
[23:15] | Just strategizing for the election. | |
[23:18] | Oh, you guys are crazy. | |
[23:22] | Oh, you have me down as a vote for Jane? | |
[23:25] | Come on. | |
[23:26] | What? | |
[23:28] | You’ve always been on Jane’s side. | |
[23:30] | Since you met her. | |
[23:32] | That was a long time ago. | |
[23:36] | Things have changed. | |
[23:38] | Really? | |
[23:39] | Yes. | |
[23:41] | _ | |
[23:44] | So I’m abstaining. | |
[23:47] | It’s only fair. | |
[23:49] | So no change? She’s still mad? | |
[23:51] | More embarrassed. | |
[23:53] | Don’t worry, she’ll get over it, eventually. | |
[23:55] | Now, tell me more about your night with Bruce. | |
[23:57] | It was amazing? | |
[23:58] | So amazing. | |
[24:02] | But? | |
[24:04] | But I don’t know. | |
[24:06] | I still feel weird. | |
[24:08] | And it’s not Bruce, it’s me. | |
[24:09] | Yeah. Papa doesn’t know if you’re happy with him. | |
[24:14] | What? | |
[24:18] | What? | |
[24:19] | No winking. | |
[24:21] | Flirting with the jury is pretty frowned upon. | |
[24:23] | Sorry, it was just instinct. | |
[24:25] | Let’s take your testimony from the top. | |
[24:29] | Ah, it’s Xiomara. | |
[24:31] | Hello? | |
[24:32] | How dare you?! | |
[24:33] | You have no right to talk about my relationship | |
[24:35] | with Bruce to Mateo. | |
[24:37] | What could possibly possess you | |
[24:39] | to talk to a four-year-old about this?! | |
[24:41] | – I wasn’t… – Are you a four-year-old? Is that it? | |
[24:43] | I mean, what if Mateo had repeated that | |
[24:45] | in front of him? | |
[24:46] | I… can’t say. | |
[24:48] | Exactly! | |
[24:49] | Because you don’t think. | |
[24:54] | Your fiancée says hi. | |
[24:59] | Are you mad? | |
[25:01] | No, of course not. | |
[25:03] | You should be neutral. | |
[25:04] | You’re so mad. | |
[25:06] | I just thought you’d vote for me because my ideas | |
[25:08] | are genuinely better, but, hey, abstaining is fine, too. | |
[25:11] | I can see my path to victory | |
[25:13] | without the Rafael Solano firewall. | |
[25:15] | Chardonnay! | |
[25:17] | For everyone. | |
[25:19] | Call you back. | |
[25:24] | Hi there, everyone. | |
[25:26] | Petra. What’s going on? | |
[25:28] | Oh, I just thought I’d get the girls together. | |
[25:31] | While I’m working? | |
[25:32] | I don’t know your whole schedule. | |
[25:33] | Then again, she makes the schedule. | |
[25:36] | So, uh, can I get you another round? On the house. | |
[25:38] | Yes, my house. | |
[25:41] | You know what? | |
[25:43] | Everything looks like it’s under control here. | |
[25:46] | I’ll join you. | |
[25:47] | Yeah. | |
[25:50] | So, Virginia… | |
[25:51] | Let me just, yeah. | |
[25:53] | I was thinking about what you were saying | |
[25:54] | about the birthday snack situation… | |
[25:56] | Oh, oh, it’s okay, we can talk about it later. | |
[25:58] | And besides, the snack situation has been handled. | |
[26:00] | Okay, great! So does that mean | |
[26:02] | that we’re going completely nut-free? | |
[26:03] | Because that’s what everybody wants. | |
[26:05] | I’ve been doing this for two years, Jane. | |
[26:06] | I believe I know what everybody wants. | |
[26:07] | Oh, I’m just saying that new ideas could improve things. | |
[26:11] | Okay, you want to have a debate right here? | |
[26:12] | – Kind of. – Okay. Let’s go. | |
[26:13] | _ | |
[26:15] | My vision for the room is clear. | |
[26:17] | To keep things under control, as I have for the past two years. | |
[26:21] | You keep talking about the past. | |
[26:23] | I want to focus on the future of our room. | |
[26:25] | I want it inclusive, optimistic… | |
[26:28] | Candidates, again the question was: | |
[26:32] | what improvements do you support for the playground? | |
[26:35] | Ms. Villanueva? | |
[26:37] | Yes, of course. | |
[26:38] | We clearly need a new surface for under the jungle gym. | |
[26:42] | My plan is to return to sand. | |
[26:45] | It’s inexpensive, natural. | |
[26:47] | It’s what we grew up with. | |
[26:49] | And definitely no wall. | |
[26:51] | Ms. Solano, a rebuttal? | |
[26:53] | Rubber mulch. | |
[26:55] | It’s the only way to go. | |
[26:56] | It’s cleaner, safer for falls, and we can choose | |
[26:59] | a bright color to go with the jungle gym. | |
[27:01] | There she goes again, trying to distract us | |
[27:03] | from the real issue. | |
[27:04] | Excuse me, I didn’t interrupt you. | |
[27:06] | – Because I was making sense! – Okay. As you can see, | |
[27:08] | my opponent clearly doesn’t have the temperament. | |
[27:09] | Ms. Villanueva, you will be given time to respond. | |
[27:12] | I’m sorry. | |
[27:14] | But what Petra’s not telling us is that rubber mulch | |
[27:17] | is an expense we don’t need to incur. | |
[27:19] | And for all we know, | |
[27:20] | she’s in the pockets of Big Rubber. | |
[27:22] | It is a proven fact that animals | |
[27:24] | go to the bathroom in the sand. | |
[27:26] | Do you want our kids playing in squirrel feces? | |
[27:29] | Squirrel feces? Is that true? | |
[27:31] | No, it’s not. | |
[27:33] | Petra is using scare tactics. | |
[27:34] | _ | |
[27:36] | Okay, Jane, why don’t we get sand, | |
[27:37] | so Mateo can throw it in kids’ eyes. | |
[27:38] | – Mateo wouldn’t do that. – Oh, no. Of course. What am I thinking? | |
[27:41] | I guess his preferred instrument of terror is scissors. | |
[27:43] | You know, maybe if | |
[27:44] | you disciplined him more, you wouldn’t | |
[27:45] | have to pretend that awful haircut was intentional. | |
[27:47] | Well, maybe if you disciplined your kids less, | |
[27:49] | they wouldn’t think you’re a terrifying dragon. | |
[27:52] | Okay, so… who won? | |
[28:02] | Hey, Dad. | |
[28:04] | How’d it go with Mr. Sweetface? | |
[28:06] | Well, we were running lines for my testimony, | |
[28:09] | and then he just passed out in the middle of my big monologue. | |
[28:13] | What’s wrong? | |
[28:15] | I just got into a big fight with Petra | |
[28:17] | in front of everybody. | |
[28:18] | She just, she knows how to get under my skin. | |
[28:21] | Well, you two do have the hallmarks of a classic rivalry. | |
[28:24] | What? | |
[28:25] | It’s textbook Telenovela. | |
[28:27] | The rich versus poor, blonde versus brunette… | |
[28:30] | Czech versus American. | |
[28:32] | I just thought we were past it. | |
[28:34] | I mean, her kids are perfect. | |
[28:37] | They know how to read. They never cry. | |
[28:40] | They’re great. There’s no competition. | |
[28:43] | I’m the one that’s struggling. | |
[28:45] | I’m the one that has to do this for Mateo. | |
[28:47] | What do you mean? | |
[28:48] | Uh, he… he wants me to be around school more, | |
[28:52] | doing stuff like this. | |
[28:54] | Come on. | |
[28:55] | He’s four. | |
[28:57] | I bet if you ask him | |
[28:58] | if he’d rather you be a room mom | |
[29:00] | or, I don’t know, eat chocolate, | |
[29:03] | he’d choose chocolate. | |
[29:05] | So you’re saying it’s more about me? | |
[29:08] | The best rivalries are not about the rival. | |
[29:11] | They’re about the insecurities | |
[29:12] | that your rival brings out in you. | |
[29:15] | Preferably in the fifth act. | |
[29:18] | Is that why you trash-talked Bruce to Mateo? | |
[29:22] | Okay, look, it’s hard to watch your mom get married, | |
[29:25] | I’ll admit it. | |
[29:26] | But that was an honest mistake. | |
[29:28] | I never had | |
[29:30] | a meaningful relationship with a kid. | |
[29:31] | The closest I came was with my eight-year-old costar | |
[29:34] | in El Vaquerito. | |
[29:37] | But that kid turned out to be a backstabbing diva | |
[29:40] | who conveniently always had nap time when it got to my coverage. | |
[29:44] | Okay, but you can’t tell Mateo everything. | |
[29:47] | I know. But it’s just because I’m so happy | |
[29:50] | to finally have the kind of bond I have with Matelio | |
[29:52] | that I always wanted with my own… non-you child. | |
[29:57] | I know. | |
[29:59] | And you’ll have another kid, Dad. | |
[30:01] | Yeah. Well, maybe. | |
[30:06] | It’s funny. So much has changed. | |
[30:10] | In a lot of ways, | |
[30:12] | my relationship with Matelio has filled that void. | |
[30:15] | It doesn’t feel like | |
[30:16] | a deal-breaker for me anymore. | |
[30:20] | That was a long time ago. | |
[30:27] | Look, I know it was a long time ago, | |
[30:29] | but I can’t help it. | |
[30:31] | Jane just makes me feel like a bad mom | |
[30:34] | who has to ask stupid questions, | |
[30:37] | like how to deal with diaper rash. | |
[30:39] | Well, then you just have to remind yourself | |
[30:42] | that you’re no longer that person. | |
[30:44] | I mean, you’re the dragon. | |
[30:49] | You saw the picture? | |
[30:52] | It’s so embarrassing. | |
[30:54] | What are you talking about? | |
[30:56] | They clearly think I’m scary. | |
[31:00] | No. No, they think you’re a dragon | |
[31:03] | because last week, when they were having nightmares, | |
[31:06] | I told them they had nothing to be scared of | |
[31:08] | because they lived with the fiercest woman I know. | |
[31:11] | You protect everyone around you. | |
[31:13] | Like a dragon. | |
[31:17] | Really? | |
[31:19] | That’s how I see you. | |
[31:26] | You’re extraordinary, Petra. | |
[31:30] | The way you handled everything when I went to prison. | |
[31:34] | The girls, the hotel. | |
[31:37] | You are the only person I know | |
[31:39] | who could have handled all of that. | |
[31:45] | Thank you. | |
[31:47] | I needed that. | |
[31:54] | Can I admit something? | |
[31:56] | Hmm? | |
[31:58] | I hate being room mom. | |
[32:01] | Which brings us here. | |
[32:04] | – Now… – Can we talk? | |
[32:05] | Okay! | |
[32:07] | Election day! | |
[32:09] | Shall we take our room mom vote? | |
[32:12] | Yes! | |
[32:14] | Please, get it over with. | |
[32:16] | Actually, can I say something first, if that’s all right? | |
[32:18] | I just wanted to say, | |
[32:20] | I think it’s obvious that there is one person | |
[32:23] | much more qualified to be room mom. | |
[32:25] | And that’s why… | |
[32:28] | I’m with her. | |
[32:30] | Oh. N-No, it’s fine. | |
[32:33] | Actually, you can be room mom, Jane. | |
[32:34] | No, but you’re much better suited than I am. | |
[32:36] | No, no. | |
[32:36] | – But this is something you really want. – No. | |
[32:37] | – And I’ve already done it twice. – Oh, my God, no. | |
[32:39] | – So it’s your turn now. – I couldn’t even take… | |
[32:40] | No, really, I insist! | |
[32:43] | I’m sorry, uh… | |
[32:45] | Can you just give us a minute? | |
[32:46] | Oh. | |
[32:47] | – What are you doing? – I don’t want to be room mom. | |
[32:49] | I realized it’s not important to Mateo, so I want out. | |
[32:51] | No, no, no, I want out. I was just doing it | |
[32:53] | because I was insecure about being a good parent. | |
[32:54] | You? | |
[32:54] | – Yes! – I’m insecure. | |
[32:56] | Now you want to fight about who’s more insecure?! | |
[32:58] | No, what I want is | |
[32:59] | to end this stupid rivalry about parenting. | |
[33:01] | Come on, it’s hard enough. | |
[33:06] | So, what will it be, ladies? | |
[33:09] | Who is our new room mom? | |
[33:12] | Uh… oh, God. | |
[33:18] | – _ – Thank you so much for voting. | |
[33:21] | Cheers. Oh! | |
[33:22] | Hi! | |
[33:23] | Mwah! | |
[33:28] | Rafael? | |
[33:30] | The people have spoken. | |
[33:35] | How about you? | |
[33:37] | Any epiphanies about getting married? | |
[33:42] | Well, I don’t want to add to your doubts, but… | |
[33:48] | I feel like I have to tell you something, | |
[33:50] | because it might | |
[33:52] | make things clearer for you. | |
[33:54] | Or less clear, I don’t know. | |
[33:56] | What are you talking about? | |
[33:59] | Dad told me something. | |
[34:02] | The kid thing? | |
[34:03] | It’s not a deal-breaker for him anymore. | |
[34:07] | Wh-What do you mean? | |
[34:09] | He feels like Mateo | |
[34:10] | has kind of filled that role in his life. | |
[34:12] | And I think he still has feelings for you. | |
[34:16] | And I don’t know why I’m telling you this, | |
[34:18] | except I feel like you should know | |
[34:20] | because you’re making such a big decision. | |
[34:31] | And how did this reality show | |
[34:33] | affect your relationship with, uh, Mr. De La Vega? | |
[34:36] | Try not to fidget so much. | |
[34:38] | The jury won’t trust you. | |
[34:40] | Okay, sorry, go. | |
[34:43] | It destroyed it. | |
[34:45] | Completely. | |
[34:46] | I was devastated. | |
[34:49] | We didn’t talk for two years. | |
[34:52] | He was such a huge part of my life, | |
[34:55] | and… I missed my friend. | |
[34:59] | I really missed my friend. | |
[35:01] | But you weren’t | |
[35:03] | together at the time. | |
[35:04] | It didn’t break up a relationship. | |
[35:06] | Together or not, he was one of the most important people | |
[35:09] | in my life. | |
[35:13] | There wasn’t one day that went by | |
[35:14] | that I didn’t think about him. | |
[35:21] | Um… | |
[35:23] | Even though we weren’t together, you’re correct. | |
[35:30] | Wow, wow, wow, what an amazing performance. | |
[35:34] | I-I totally bought it. | |
[35:36] | Yeah. | |
[35:38] | I totally bought it, too. | |
[35:44] | All right, one week down. | |
[35:46] | First, let me say, Mateo is an awesome kid. | |
[35:49] | Like I said, he’s pretty hyperactive, | |
[35:52] | and he has issues with impulse control. | |
[35:54] | So, we’re gonna work on slowing down in general | |
[35:57] | and making smart choices. | |
[35:59] | And now’s your chance. Hit me up with his history. | |
[36:02] | Anything relevant you think I should know. | |
[36:04] | All right, you’re up, Jane. | |
[36:06] | Okay. His history. | |
[36:09] | So, when Mateo was 18 months old, | |
[36:13] | my husband died, his stepfather. | |
[36:15] | Pretty much out of the blue. | |
[36:16] | Well, he had been shot first, but, still, he recovered. | |
[36:20] | Only not fully. | |
[36:21] | He didn’t pass his physical. | |
[36:23] | Uh, he had to keep his blood pressure down, | |
[36:25] | but after he died, the doctors said it was pretty much | |
[36:26] | a freak thing. | |
[36:28] | Uh, an aortic dissection. | |
[36:30] | So no one could’ve predicted it. | |
[36:32] | Anyway, after that, I was… I was pretty much a mess. | |
[36:36] | For the first month, I mostly stayed in bed. | |
[36:41] | What? | |
[36:44] | You told the story about Michael without crying. | |
[36:48] | Oh, my God. | |
[36:49] | Oh, my God. | |
[36:51] | Whoa. | |
[36:54] | Yeah. | |
[36:56] | So he’s had some trauma. | |
[36:59] | I am so sorry. | |
[37:02] | But you should know, Mateo shows no sign of trauma. | |
[37:06] | He has a really strong, secure attachment | |
[37:09] | to both of you. | |
[37:10] | He’s happy. He’s not anxious. | |
[37:12] | I mean, his issues are normal kid stuff. | |
[37:15] | It’s just the way he’s wired. | |
[37:17] | So he’s not scarred? | |
[37:20] | Really? I mean, in, like, | |
[37:21] | your professional opinion? | |
[37:23] | Nope, no sign of that. | |
[37:25] | Well, there are the tears. | |
[37:28] | But still, they’re different tears. | |
[37:30] | So he’s not acting out because… | |
[37:33] | I went to prison when he was two-ish? | |
[37:35] | What? Whoa. | |
[37:38] | Mind blown. | |
[37:38] | Yeah, for nine months. | |
[37:41] | I mean, he, um… visited, | |
[37:43] | but he was old enough to feel abandoned. | |
[37:46] | No abandonment issues. | |
[37:49] | Dude, you’re his hero. | |
[37:55] | Oh, wow. | |
[37:56] | Now everyone’s crying. | |
[37:59] | You’re damn right I’m upset! | |
[38:00] | Well, not him. He seems more mad. | |
[38:02] | The cops just came by, wanting to know | |
[38:03] | if I knew anything about a book that you took from the dead guy. | |
[38:06] | I know. That’s why I’ve been calling you. | |
[38:08] | Look, I-I had the book separately… | |
[38:09] | And what’s with the missing page? | |
[38:11] | I don’t know anything about that. | |
[38:12] | – And I don’t believe you! – Calm down! | |
[38:14] | – Don’t tell me to calm down! – Hey. | |
[38:17] | I think you should go. | |
[38:20] | Before I call security. | |
[38:34] | Thank you for believing me. | |
[38:36] | I don’t. | |
[38:38] | Where’s the missing page? | |
[38:40] | And then I told him. | |
[38:43] | The whole story about Michael, and I didn’t cry once. | |
[38:46] | Well, you cried after. | |
[38:48] | – Wow. – I know. | |
[38:50] | So what does that mean? | |
[38:51] | Are you ready to date? | |
[38:52] | I don’t know. | |
[38:54] | But I’m definitely ready to start thinking about it. | |
[38:58] | Mom, hi. | |
[38:59] | I’ve been waiting to talk to you. I know you’re mad, | |
[39:01] | and I’m sorry I pushed you too far with Jorge. | |
[39:04] | I just love that you took my advice and… | |
[39:05] | _ | |
[39:07] | _ | |
[39:11] | Wow. | |
[39:12] | Looks like things are definitely | |
[39:14] | changing around here. | |
[39:15] | Everything’s different now. | |
[39:17] | Everything’s changed. | |
[39:19] | The stuff your dad said about you isn’t true. | |
[39:22] | Plus, he’s not even your dad. | |
[39:24] | _ | |
[39:26] | Still hurts to read. | |
[39:27] | I know. | |
[39:29] | That’s why I ripped out the page. | |
[39:36] | What? | |
[39:37] | See? | |
[39:39] | You’re the dragon. | |
[39:42] | Protecting everyone. | |
[39:44] | You’re the only one who sees me like that. | |
[39:59] | I, uh, can’t do this. | |
[40:04] | I can’t go to court like this. | |
[40:06] | What’s wrong? | |
[40:07] | What’s wrong is… | |
[40:09] | what happened the other night. | |
[40:12] | During your prep, when you were talking about Rogelio. | |
[40:19] | Do you still have feelings for him, Xiomara? | |
[40:28] | I don’t know. | |
[40:35] | Okay, then. | |
[40:42] | I’m sorry. | |
[40:44] | Yeah. | |
[40:50] | Hello, hello! | |
[40:53] | ♪ It’s another beautiful day ♪ | |
[40:55] | ♪ To win a lawsuit! ♪ | |
[40:57] | Go, Team Rogelio! | |
[41:00] | So, are you ready to make everyone | |
[41:02] | fall in love with me, buddy? | |
[41:06] | We shouldn’t do this. | |
[41:08] | I know. | |
[41:09] | But I really want to. | |
[41:11] | So do I. | |
[41:32] | Like I said: | |
[41:34] | politics makes strange bedfellows. |