Just Go With It(随波逐流 爱情大龙凤)[2011]电影台词本阅读、下载和单词统计

电影名称：随波逐流 爱情大龙凤
英文名称：Just Go With It
年代：2011

推荐：千部英美剧台词本阅读

时间	英文	中文
[00:44]	I’m so happy you picked this dress, Veruca!	你穿着这件婚纱简直美翻了 薇露卡
[00:46]	– You look beautiful. – Doesn’t she?	-你看起来太美了 -难道不是吗
[00:49]	You guys, I’m getting married!	姑娘们 我要结婚啦
[00:50]	I’m getting married!	我要结婚啦
[00:53]	Not without your veil, you’re not.	没有面纱可不行
[00:56]	Where is that bad boy?	那破玩意儿在哪里
[00:57]	Oh, I think I left it upstairs.	我大概把它留在楼上了
[01:00]	Don’t worry. I’ll get it,	别担心 我去拿
[01:03]	sis.	嫂嫂
[01:09]	She is so annoying.	她真讨厌
[01:11]	And so ugly.	真难看
[01:13]	She looks like Karl Malden.	她看起来就像卡尔·马登[著名大鼻子男演员]
[01:15]	I know, and she’s gonna be	我知道 一小时后她就成为
[01:16]	my sister-in-law in an hour!	我的小姨子了
[01:18]	How are you gonna deal with that?	那你要怎么办
[01:20]	I’m just gonna lay down the law for Danny.	我正准备给丹尼定下规矩
[01:22]	We’re seeing his goofy family as little as possible.	我们会尽量少见他那些愚蠢的家人
[01:26]	You sure he’s gonna go along with that?	你觉得他能同意吗
[01:27]	Danny doesn’t say no to me.	丹尼不会拒绝我
[01:29]	Believe me, I have him well-trained.	相信我 我把他调教得相当好
[01:34]	So, tell us, what happened with Eric last night?	说说吧 昨晚和艾瑞克发生什么了
[01:39]	So, I told him if he wanted to stop the wedding,	我告诉他 如果他想阻止婚礼
[01:42]	he had to speak now or forever hold his peace.	他就得马上说出来 不然就永远别说
[01:45]	And what’d he say?	那他怎么回答
[01:46]	He said he’s never gonna settle down,	他说 他永远都不会安顿下来
[01:48]	and I should just go ahead and marry Danny.	我应该嫁给丹尼
[01:51]	Did he give you a wedding present, huh?	他给你结婚礼物了吗
[01:53]	– You’re so horny! – Yeah.	-你真色情啊你 -那可是
[01:55]	I guess you could call it that.	好吧 这么说也可以
[01:58]	You’re so bad!	你真是太坏了
[02:01]	It’s the last time, I swear.	这是最后一次 我发誓
[02:04]	Yeah, right!	切 谁相信啊
[02:05]	Danny is so sweet and considerate.	丹尼这么温柔体贴
[02:07]	And he’s gonna be a cardiologist.	他就快成为心脏病医师了
[02:09]	So, I’m marrying him	所以 我会嫁给他
[02:11]	and that zucchini in the middle of his face.	和他脸中间那个胡瓜
[02:13]	His parents are disgusting, too!	他父母也很恶心
[02:15]	Close your eyes when he’s on top!	他在上位时 你要紧闭眼睛
[02:17]	And your thighs!	和你的大腿
[02:21]	Cuz, I’m so sorry.	伙计 很抱歉
[02:23]	Yikes, that hurt.	是啊 太伤我心了
本电影台词包含不重复单词：1748个。 其中的生词包含：四级词汇：238个，六级词汇：122个，GRE词汇：142个，托福词汇：163个，考研词汇：280个，专四词汇：205个，专八词汇：45个， 所有生词标注共：556个。 定制生词标注的台词本和单词统计，请访问生词标注台词本
[02:25]	That was me, Danny Maccabee, 20 years ago.	那就是二十年前的我 丹尼·麦卡比
[02:27]	Pathetic, huh?	可悲吧
[02:31]	So, I’m halfway done boozing away my sorrows,	所以 当我还在借酒浇愁的时候
[02:34]	when something pretty interesting happened.	发生了这么一件有趣的事
[02:37]	Oh, baby, you’re like a Pop Tart,	宝贝 你就像个果馅饼
[02:40]	hot and sweet!	火辣又甜蜜
[02:44]	Hey, mami!	妈咪
[02:45]	You must play the trumpet or something,	你肯定是吹喇叭的吧
[02:47]	’cause you’re making me feel all horny and stuff!	因为你让我蠢蠢欲动了
[02:54]	You dropped your purse.	你的包掉了
[02:55]	Can I just sit for 10 seconds	能不能让我安安静静地坐十秒钟
[02:56]	and not get hit on? Thank you.	别找我搭讪 谢谢
[03:00]	I was just letting you know you dropped your purse.	我只想告诉你 你的包掉了
[03:07]	I’m sorry. I thought…	真对不起 我以为…
[03:08]	That’s fine, that’s fine.	没关系 没关系
[03:09]	I’m sure you didn’t meet the lady	你肯定不是在这种灯红酒绿的地方
[03:10]	who gave you that ring in a meat market like this.	遇见你老婆的吧
[03:14]	School cafeteria.	是在学校餐厅
[03:15]	How long you been married?	你结婚多久了
[03:18]	I was gonna tell her, I really was.	我本来打算告诉她事实的 真的
[03:21]	But I didn’t want her to know what a loser I was,	但我不想让她知道我有多衰
[03:23]	so I stretched the truth a little.	所以我稍微戏说了一下
[03:26]	Six years.	六年了
[03:27]	Where’s your wife tonight?	你老婆今晚去哪儿了
[03:29]	I stopped asking that question a long time ago.	很久前 我就不再问这样的问题了
[03:33]	That’s terrible.	太糟糕了
[03:35]	My wife says I work too much.	我老婆说我工作太努力
[03:36]	Trying to provide for her, her shopping addiction,	尽量满足她的 她的购物瘾
[03:41]	and crack.	还有什么什么的
[03:42]	Why don’t you just leave her?	你为什么不离开她呢
[03:45]	The children.	因为孩子
[03:47]	All 14 of them.	一共十四个
[03:50]	I just, I like to adopt,	我喜欢收养小孩
[03:53]	and I don’t wanna stop doing that.	我不想放弃
[03:56]	You poor guy.	你真可怜
[03:58]	You wanna get outta here?	你想出去转转吗
[04:00]	And so I discovered	于是我发现了
[04:01]	the power of the wedding ring.	结婚戒指的力量
[04:03]	The symbol of my humiliation	我屈辱的象征
[04:05]	had become a tool to get back on the horse.	变成了我重整旗鼓的工具
[04:08]	Are you kidding me?	开什么玩笑
[04:11]	I switched my specialty from cardiology to plastic surgery,	我把我的专业从心脏病学转到了整形外科
[04:15]	got rid of the big honker,	弄掉了大鼻子
[04:17]	and the ring became my thing.	结婚戒指成了我的吉祥物
[04:20]	I just assumed after we got married she’d stop hooking,	我以为她 婚后就不会再水性杨花
[04:24]	but…	但…
[04:25]	You need to put this wedding band on a true heart.	你该把这婚戒放在一颗真心上
[04:28]	This is a good moment.	这一刻真美妙
[04:31]	Yeah. Should we go make it last,	是啊 我们就这样保持
[04:33]	for a while, somewhere?	一会儿 换个地方吧
[04:34]	Okay, let’s go. To your dorm.	好啊 走 去你宿舍
[04:40]	Sometimes I think about	有时候我在想
[04:41]	throwing the ring into the ocean.	把戒指扔海里算了
[04:43]	I know how wrong it is. But I can’t.	我知道这样做很不好 但我就是没法停止
[04:46]	It’s my Precious.	这是我宝贝
[04:49]	Besides, being fake married	此外 虚假的婚姻
[04:52]	is the perfect way to make sure	至少可以确保
[04:54]	I never get my heart broken again.	我不再心碎
[04:57]		辛迪 昨夜非常美妙 此外 谢谢你没像我老婆一样打我
[05:08]	What are these?	这什么玩意
[05:11]	Boobie bags.	胸袋
[05:12]	The women, they stick them in their flat chesties,	平胸女人把这些贴在胸前
[05:16]	make them big.	可以撑大胸部
[05:18]	These are not the boobie bags that I ordered.	这些不是我订的胸袋
[05:22]	What is that?	这是什么
[05:23]	It’s like a syrup dispenser at an IHOP.	跟国际祷告中心的糖浆袋子似的
[05:25]	But I don’t know what that is.	虽然我不知道那是什么玩意
[05:26]	Come on. These, they don’t feel like these.	但是 这些玩意儿 手感跟这差远了
[05:30]	No… Seriously?	别… 搞什么
[05:32]	I just trying to learn.	我只是学习一下
[05:34]	Listen, Dr. Maccabee would never accept subpar boobs.	听着 麦卡比医生绝不会接受劣质胸袋
[05:38]	Would you please just get me what I ordered	请把我订的东西送来
[05:40]	and tell Omar that	然后告诉欧玛
[05:41]	I would like a discount for the inconvenience?	这堆东西耽误了我的时间 我要求打折
[05:42]	Yes, ma’am.	知道了 夫人
[05:43]	Thank you, Simon.	谢谢你 西蒙
[05:45]	4:00 here?	四点有病人吗
[05:46]	Yeah. Room one,	是的 一号房
[05:47]	Kirsten Brant. Don’t laugh.	克斯顿·布兰特 别嘲笑人家
[05:51]	Well, I, uh…	我…
[05:52]	I had bad plastic surgery.	我的整容手术做失败了
[05:56]	Should’ve known this doctor was a quack.	早就该知道这医生是个江湖骗子
[05:58]	His office was in, like, a warehouse.	他的诊所就跟个仓库似的
[06:00]	I see, I see.	我明白了
[06:04]	Questions?	有问题吗
[06:05]	No, no. Just, please help me, Doctor.	不 不 拜托你了 帮帮我 医生
[06:08]	Absolutely.	当然可以
[06:09]	It’s usually easier…	通常来说
[06:11]	easier to do these things right the first time, but…	首次手术会容易些 但
[06:15]	What? You seem dubious.	你看起来好像在怀疑什么
[06:16]	Hmm?	什么
[06:17]	Oh, no, not at all.	不 不 没那意思
[06:19]	I mean, I hear you’re the best, Dr. Maccabee.	我听说你是最棒的 麦卡比医生
[06:21]	I don’t know about that,	这我就不知道了
[06:23]	but I think we can figure something out here.	但我想 我们应该会找个办法
[06:27]	Relax, relax.	放松 放松
[06:31]	That’s relaxed? Hmm.	已经放松了吗
[06:33]	Here, let me just pull it down for a sec.	我来把它拉下来一会儿
[06:36]	And I let go. Okay, shoots right back up there.	我放手了 好吧 又弹回去了
[06:40]	– I’m sorry. – Oh. Sorry about what?	-对不起 -有什么好道歉的
[06:43]	Oh, my God! It’s just…	上帝啊 它
[06:45]	That just really went right up there.	它跑的真高啊
[06:48]	That was high. You gotta watch that.	真高 你该看看
[06:50]	It’s gonna get caught in your hair.	都快碰到你的头发了
[06:54]	I don’t know, maybe I should just keep it like this.	或许我就该保持这样
[06:56]	It seems to make other people happy.	好像还能让大家开心
[06:58]	No. But, seriously,	不 不过 说真的
[06:59]	are you available for my kid’s birthday party?	你有空来参加我孩子的生日派对吗
[07:02]	– I’m sorry! – That’s too much.	-很抱歉 -那太过份了
[07:04]	Let me give you a hug.	我来抱抱你吧
[07:05]	That’s what you need first. We’ll fix this.	那是你最需要的 我们会处理好的
[07:09]	Oh, God! Okay,	上帝啊 好吧
[07:11]	I’m gonna excuse myself. I’m sorry.	我得失陪一下 不好意思
[07:16]	– Eddie’s here. – Hey. My cousin.	-艾迪来了 -那是我表弟
[07:19]	Oh, my gosh.	我的天啊
[07:21]	Brows gone wild over here.	那眉毛很野性
[07:23]	I’m actually digging it.	我真是太喜欢了
[07:24]	And what are you doing later?	你待会儿有空吗
[07:26]	Oh, sorry, I’m kind of seeing anybody else.	抱歉 我已经有对象了
[07:29]	There you go.	你又来这一套
[07:30]	Oh, brow-ch.	我这么倒眉[倒霉]
[07:31]	My gosh.	我的天啊
[07:33]	Look, I don’t know who you’re seeing,	听着 我不知道你现在对象是谁
[07:34]	but whoever they are,	但不管他们是谁
[07:36]	they don’t have what this guy’s got down there,	他们不会有 这家伙下面的东西
[07:38]	you know what I mean?	你懂我的意思吗
[07:40]	All right, Eddie.	好吧 艾迪
[07:41]	Yeah, it’s a very good one.	是啊 是很不错
[07:42]	I should know, I installed it.	我知道 是我装的
[07:44]	Oh, you had a penile enlargement?	你增大了你的小弟弟吗
[07:47]	Yes.	是
[07:48]	People really do that?	真有人那样做啊
[07:50]	That is hilarious!	真是太搞笑了
[07:52]	See you on the 28th, Dr. Maccabee!	28号见 麦卡比医生
[07:56]	Dude, why are you telling everybody about my surgery?	伙计 你为啥到处跟人说我做了手术
[08:00]	Am I hiding the secrets around here?	你觉得谁不知道啊
[08:02]	You don’t think Katherine knows about this?	你是觉得凯瑟琳不知道吗
[08:04]	Katherine was in the room when I did that.	凯瑟琳可是帮着我给你做的手术
[08:06]	She held the magnifying glass.	她帮我拿着放大镜
[08:07]	I did. And the tweezer.	是我拿着的 还有镊子
[08:09]	Real nice.	太好了
[08:10]	Did you get a chance to try it out yet?	你有机会试过了吗
[08:12]	Uh, yeah. I’ve banged it up.	当然 猛极了
[08:15]	It’s got a couple dents. I’m not gonna lie.	试了那么几回 我不骗你
[08:18]	Yeah. You did?	真干过吗
[08:20]	Not from a human.	不是和人干的
[08:21]	It’s got… From this doll I made.	是… 我做的充气娃娃干的
[08:33]	Hey, Adon.	你好 阿顿
[08:35]	Danny! I am so happy you could be here!	丹尼 很高兴你能来
[08:38]	– How are you, baby? – Did you bring any Botox?	-你好吗 兄弟 -你带肉毒杆菌了吗
[08:38]		肉毒杆菌 去皱美容药物 注射过多会引起面部肌肉僵硬
[08:39]	I didn’t bring the Botox.	肉毒杆菌我倒是没带
[08:40]	I brought my cousin, Eddie.	我带来了我的表弟 艾迪
[08:42]	Nice to meet you, Eddie.	很高兴见到你 艾迪
[08:44]	Is this a Halloween party?	这里是万圣节派对吗
[08:45]	Are you kidding me right now?	你开什么玩笑
[08:47]	You got a little more work done, huh?	你又整了啊
[08:48]	Yeah, just a little bit, just tweaking, tweaking.	就整了一点点 一点点
[08:50]	Maintenance, maintenance.	关键在于保养 保养
[08:52]	I just wanna stay in the game, Danny.	我还想多青春纪念 丹尼
[08:54]	I don’t wanna hit home runs,	我也不奢求全垒打
[08:55]	just some singles. That’s all.	打些单打就行了
[08:57]	You gotta stop, though, I’m telling you.	说真的 你最好别再做了
[08:58]	Do you have any feeling in your face?	你脸上有感觉了吗
[09:00]	Just in this one spot right here.	只在这地方有感觉
[09:02]	And then from the eyebrows down, dead, dead.	眉毛以下 一点没感觉
[09:09]	Is that a car alarm?	汽车报警器响了吗
[09:11]	He’s laughing, he’s laughing. Oh, okay.	是他在笑 他在笑
[09:13]	I wanted to go to your cousin Danny here,	我本想找你表哥丹尼帮我做手术
[09:14]	but he refused to do any work.	但他不同意
[09:16]	He didn’t wanna put his fingers in the pie. Ooh!	他不想再掺和了
[09:18]	It was getting dangerous. This amount…	这会很危险 这等于…
[09:20]	You gotta slow it down.	你得慢点喝
[09:22]	Okay, see? That shouldn’t be happening right now.	看见没 正常人不会这样的
[09:24]	Adon! Adon, Adon, Adon!	阿顿 阿顿
[09:27]	Ariel cut open his knee. It looks awful.	艾瑞儿的膝盖割破了 看起来很糟
[09:29]	What happened? Settle, settle.	发生什么了 镇定 镇定
[09:30]	What do you expect me to do about it?	我能帮什么忙吗
[09:31]	– It’s bleeding. You know what? – I could stitch him up.	-在流血 你知道吗 -我可以帮忙缝合
[09:33]	– Why don’t you go get me my bag? – All right.	-去把我的包拿来 -好的
[09:36]	So, you fell down the stairs, huh?	你从楼梯上跌下来的吗
[09:38]	Yeah.	是啊
[09:40]	Did you trip over something?	是不是被什么东西绊倒了
[09:41]	Was there a skateboard there, or…	那里是不是有个滑板 或者
[09:43]	No, I was distracted by something.	不 我看别的看走神了
[09:46]	What distracted you?	看什么看的
[09:47]	A girl.	一个女孩
[09:49]	A girl, okay. Was it your mother?	女孩 是你老妈吗
[09:51]	No!	不
[09:53]	‘Cause she just looks good.	因为她看起很漂亮
[09:54]	– That’s your stepmom. – No, no.	-反正是你继母 -不 不
[09:56]	All right. This is lidocaine.	这是利多卡因[一种局部麻醉剂]
[09:58]	Don’t think about it.	分散注意力
[10:00]	Don’t think about it. Think about your face.	分散注意力 想想你的脸
[10:02]	Good, good.	好 很好
[10:04]	Blonde, brunette, redhead?	她是金发 黑发 还是红发
[10:06]	Blonde, tan, tall, rocking body.	金发 棕色皮肤 高个 风姿绰约
[10:11]	Nipples.	还有凸点
[10:13]	Want me to numb something else for you?	你其他部位想要麻痹吗
[10:15]	You’re getting a little nutty over there.	你有点秀逗
[10:16]	No! No, I’m good. I’m good.	不 不 我没事 我很好
[10:18]	I’m alive! I’m alive, everybody!	伙计们 我还活着 我重生了
[10:31]	Good job, Doctor. That was really nice.	干得好 医生 真是太棒了
[10:34]	The distraction, I’m guessing.	我猜你就是那个让他分心的人
[10:36]	The what?	分什么心
[10:37]	The boy was distracted. That’s why he fell.	那男孩分心了 所以摔下来了
[10:41]	So, I’m taking the rap for this.	那么 都是我的责任了
[10:43]	Yes. Your hotness basically pushed him down the stairs.	对啊 是你的性感把他推下了楼梯
[10:45]	Good luck proving that in court.	你和法官去说吧 祝你好运
[10:47]	Is that what they’re saying	时下《绯闻女孩》里
[10:49]	on the Gossip Girl nowadays?	他们都这样叫吗
[10:51]	I knew you two would eventually find each other!	我就知道你们俩最终会碰面的
[10:54]	But be careful, Palmer, these plastic surgeons,	但要小心这些整容师 帕莫尔
[10:57]	they really know how to operate.	他们的手法很高超
[11:01]	Yeah, all right, Adon. All right.	是啊 行了 阿顿
[11:07]	I just don’t know about plastic surgery.	我对整形手术一窍不通
[11:10]	I mean, doesn’t it always look so fake?	那看起来会不会很假
[11:12]	Depends who’s doing it. I’m pretty good at it.	那要看谁主刀 我做的就非常好
[11:14]	I’m telling you. Some of my patients are here tonight.	告诉你 今晚我很多病人也来了
[11:15]	Oh, really?	真的吗
[11:16]	Really, really. Look around,	真的 你四处看看
[11:17]	see if you can find	能不能找到
[11:19]	someone decent-looking.	那些看起来不吓人的
[11:21]	How ’bout her?	她是吗
[11:23]	The lady from Saw?	《电锯惊魂》女郎吗
[11:25]	Fine. Who did you do?	好吧 哪个是你的作品
[11:27]	All right. I hate to rat the guy out,	我讨厌出卖别人
[11:29]	but see that guy over there?	看到那个家伙吗
[11:31]	You mean Sexy Ass?	你是说那个翘屁屁吗
[11:33]	Before I met him, he was No Buns Bobby.	我没遇到他之前 他是个平屁男
[11:36]	Really?	真的啊
[11:37]	His back went straight to his legs. No kidding.	从后背笔直到腿 一点不开玩笑
[11:39]	He’d go to the bathroom,	他上厕所
[11:40]	he’d slide right in the toilet.	会从马桶上滑下来
[11:42]	I know, I know, that’s really romantic, isn’t it?	我知道 那有点不切实际了 是吗
[11:46]	So, North Carolina, how long have you lived here in LA?	北卡罗来纳人 你来洛杉矶多久了
[11:49]	I’ve been here almost two years.	差不多两年了
[11:50]	Uh-huh. That’s a lot of auditioning for you.	这里试镜的机会很多
[11:53]	You think I’m an actress?	你认为我是个演员吗
[11:54]	I guarantee you’re an actress.	我肯定你是个演员
[11:56]	Well, guess again, Doc. I teach sixth grade math.	再猜猜 医生 我教六年级数学
[11:59]	They got no schools in North Carolina to teach at?	在北卡罗来纳不能教吗
[12:03]	My parents divorced.	我八年级的时候
[12:05]	Had a pretty nasty one, actually,	父母离异了
[12:07]	when I was in the eighth grade. Mmm-hmm.	闹得很厉害
[12:08]	And… I don’t know. I got tired of picking sides, so…	我实在是厌倦了选跟谁在一起
[12:13]	Okay. I thought I’d make a change and,	我当时想 倒不如换换环境
[12:16]	yeah, move out to LA.	就搬到了洛杉矶
[12:18]	You came to the right place.	你来对地方了
[12:19]	No one gets divorced in LA.	洛杉矶没人离婚
[12:23]	I’ve never hung out with a girl your age.	我从没和你这年龄段的女孩一起出来过
[12:25]	This is nice.	感觉很好
[12:27]	Oh, no. Your first lie to me.	好吧 这是你第一次对我撒谎
[12:30]	You’re good. All right.	你很厉害 好吧
[12:32]	I’ve never hung out with a girl your age and	我从没和你这年龄段的女孩一起出来
[12:36]	connected the way we are right now.	并感觉如此心灵相通过
[12:38]	Actually, I’ve never connected with,	实际上 我从没
[12:41]	I don’t think any girl at any age.	和任何女孩觉得心灵想通过
[12:44]	See? I can tell when you’re lying	看到没有 我知道你什么时候说谎
[12:46]	and when you’re telling the truth. Oh.	什么时候说真话
[12:49]	Yeah. The second thing I said was the truth.	是啊 我的第二句是真的
[12:52]	I know.	我知道
[13:05]	Oh, my God. That was the greatest night of my life.	上帝啊 这是我有生以来最棒的一夜
[13:09]	Yeah. This feels like it could be…	是啊 这感觉
[13:13]	I don’t know, a real thing.	很真实
[13:17]	It’s a thing all right, Palmer.	是很真实 帕莫尔
[13:19]	Well, I have to get to work,	我得去上班了
[13:21]	but how ’bout I take your number	告诉我你的电话号码
[13:23]	and then you can take me out on a proper date next time?	下次你就可以带我出去来个正式约会
[13:26]	I got a business card in my pocket if you wanna get that.	我的名片在口袋里
[13:30]	You better call.	你最好打电话给我
[13:32]	You better not just, just leave me hanging.	最好别把我晾一边等着你电话
[13:35]	I’d get it for you myself,	我可以自己拿给你
[13:36]	but I don’t want you to see me naked in the daylight.	但我不想在白天 被你看到我的裸体
[13:39]	It could be a deal breaker.	说不定因此你就毁约了
[13:46]	What’s this?	这是什么
[13:48]	A circle?	一个圈圈
[13:50]	A wedding ring? You’re married?	结婚戒指 你结婚了
[13:53]	No, no, no, I’m not, I’m not married.	不 不 我没结婚
[13:55]	That is a… That is… That’s not mine.	那是… 那不是我的
[13:59]	Whose wedding ring is in your pants, Danny?	谁的婚戒会在你口袋里呢 丹尼
[14:02]	All right, listen, just give me a minute to explain this.	听着 给我一分钟来解释
[14:06]	Please.	请讲
[14:08]	It’s gonna take more than a minute.	可能一分钟讲不太完
[14:10]	I am such an idiot!	我真是太蠢了
[14:11]	No, no, no, no, no.	不 不 不
[14:12]	Don’t call me!	别给我打电话
[14:14]	No, Palmer!	别这样 帕莫尔
[14:19]	I told you that this whole fake marriage thing	我告诉过你 虚假的婚姻
[14:22]	was just gonna come and bite you in the ass.	迟早会毁了你
[14:24]	Why don’t you just tell her the truth?	为什么不告诉她事实呢
[14:26]	You think I can tell her the truth?	你觉得能说出来吗
[14:29]	Let me practice. You be her right now.	我来练习一下 你现在假装是她
[14:31]	Oh, good. Okay, hold on.	好的 等等
[14:34]	Okay. She’s not like that, but anyways.	她不是那样子 但无所谓了
[14:37]	Um, I wear this fake wedding ring sometimes…	我有时会戴着这个假婚戒…
[14:41]	You’re a pig.	你是头猪
[14:43]	Sorry. You’re a pig.	抱歉 你是头猪
[14:46]	What’s wrong? You’re walking really weird.	怎么了 你走路怪怪的
[14:48]	My back. I slept on the beach last night.	我的背不舒服 昨晚睡在沙滩上
[14:50]	God Almighty.	上帝啊
[14:52]	When are you gonna strengthen your spine?	你什么时候锻炼一下你的脊椎啊
[14:54]	Seriously, Flomax.	说真的 用盐酸坦洛新
[14:55]	You gotta work out more than once a month.	你得一个月里练上几次
[14:57]	I can’t, I don’t have time to work out.	我没时间锻炼
[14:59]	You do. You can’t say that, Danny.	你有时间 别那样说 丹尼
[15:01]	My mother always said Cary Grant never went to the gym.	我妈常说加里·格兰特从不去健身房[美国著名影星]
[15:04]	Only took the stairs, every day, never an elevator.	只是每天跑楼梯 从不坐电梯
[15:07]	You wanna hear my impression of	你想不想听听我对
[15:08]	Cary Grant’s butler?	加里·格兰特的管家的印象
[15:09]	– Watch. – What?	-看好了 -什么
[15:11]	Hello? No, he’s dead.	你好 不 他已经死了
[15:13]	Okay, bye-bye.	好的 再见
[15:15]	That’s good. That’s funny.	太好了 真搞笑
[15:16]	Mom, give me some money.	妈妈 给我点钱
[15:18]	Hi. How are you?	你好吗
[15:20]	Nice to see you, kids.	很高兴见到你们
[15:22]	Please be polite and say hello to Dr. Maccabee.	请讲礼貌 向麦卡比医生问个好
[15:24]	‘Ello, Dr. Danny.	你好 丹尼医生
[15:25]	‘Ow is you today?	今天过得好吗
[15:27]	Is that my associate, Dr. Doolittle?	那是我的同事 杜丽特医生吗
[15:29]	Why is she talking like that?	她为什么那样说话
[15:30]	She’s been working on some accents.	她最近在学口音
[15:32]	I am takin’ an acting class this summer, I is.	这个夏天我在上表演课
[15:35]	Gonna be the next Miley Cyrus, I am.	我就是下一个麦莉·塞勒斯
[15:35]		麦莉·赛瑞斯 美国著名歌手及演员 成名剧迪士尼频道《汉娜蒙塔娜》
[15:38]	How ’bout you, young man?	小伙子 你怎么样
[15:39]	Do you like Hannah Montana?	你喜欢《汉娜蒙塔娜》吗
[15:41]	No. I like Californication.	不 我喜欢《加州靡情》[成人画面较多]
[15:43]	When do you ever watch Californication?	你什么时候看的《加州靡情》
[15:46]	Rosa lets us watch Showtime	玫瑰打电话给她男朋友的时候
[15:47]	when she calls her boyfriend.	就让我们看电视
[15:49]	Eat the mushroom! Eat the mushroom! Yes!	吃蘑菇 吃蘑菇 真棒
[15:52]	Mmm. You run a tight ship at home, huh?	你家规甚严啊
[15:55]	Dr. Danny?	丹尼医生
[15:56]	Yeah?	怎么了
[15:57]	Will you take me to Hawaii	你会带我们去夏威夷吗
[15:58]	so I can swim with the dolphins?	这样我就能和海豚一起游泳了
[16:00]	Take you to Hawaii? No.	带你去夏威夷 不会
[16:03]	I saw a show on the Discovery Channel.	我在《探索频道》看到个纪录片
[16:05]	They say in Hawaii they have dolphins	他们说 在夏威夷 付钱后
[16:07]	that you can swim with if you pay money.	就能和海豚一起游泳
[16:09]	Okay.	知道了
[16:10]	But I don’t have any money.	但我一分钱没有
[16:12]	And my mom says you’re rich.	妈妈说你很有钱
[16:13]	– Michael! – No, it’s fine.	-迈克尔 -没事
[16:15]	Maybe you should make your own money.	你该自己去赚钱
[16:17]	Maybe a paper route or something like that?	去送送报纸或干些其他什么
[16:20]	‘Cause rich people don’t give other people trips.	因为有钱人不会白送别人去旅游
[16:23]	That’s why they remain rich. You understand?	因此他们才能继续富有 你明白吗
[16:26]	But my mom says you do charity for kids all the time.	但妈妈说你一直在为儿童慈善捐款
[16:29]	I do charity work like	我的慈善事业仅限于
[16:31]	I fix a cleft lip or a child’s deformity.	治疗小孩的兔唇或其他畸形
[16:35]	I don’t take them to Hawaii.	而不是带他们去夏威夷
[16:36]	I could get arrested for that.	那样做我会坐牢的
[16:38]	What if I was deformed?	那如果我残疾了
[16:39]	Then would you take me to Hawaii?	你就会带我去夏威夷吗
[16:42]	If you were deformed, I’d bring you to Hawaii,	如果你残疾了 我就带你去
[16:44]	but I’d leave you there,	但我会把你留在那里
[16:45]	’cause I wouldn’t want to look at you.	因为我可不想再见到你了
[16:46]	Okay. Here’s the money, and I want change.	这是你要的钱 找回的钱还给我
[16:48]	And I wanna hear back	回来后告诉我
[16:50]	that you actually ate the food that I am paying for.	我付了钱你们到底吃了点什么
[16:52]	Mom, before we go, can I make a Devlin?	妈妈 我们走之前 我能去拉个德芙琳吗
[16:55]	Sure. Down the hall. Will you please go with him?	可以 大厅那头 你想和他一起去吗
[16:58]	We open in five minutes	我们五分钟后营业了
[16:59]	and I am not having him sit there forever.	我可不想让他一直在这蹲着
[17:01]	Bloody hell right, I will, Mumsy!	我必将不辱使命 亲爱的妈咪
[17:03]	All right, Winston Churchill.	好吧 温斯顿·丘吉尔[名言]
[17:05]	He said, “I gotta make a Devlin.”	他说 “我去拉个德芙琳”
[17:06]	What does that mean? Uh…	那是什么意思
[17:08]	It’s just a friend of mine who was in my sorority in college	是我大学时候的一个朋友
[17:12]	named Devlin Adams, and…	叫德芙琳·亚当斯
[17:15]	Well, I wouldn’t say friend. I’d say more my nemesis.	其实也不算是个朋友 算是我的克星
[17:17]	– Oh, so she was a frenemy? – Yes.	-亦敌亦友吗 -是的
[17:20]	You’d probably like her. She’s really, really fake.	你可能会喜欢她 她非常非常虚伪
[17:23]	Always had to have the coolest clothes	一直都有漂亮的衣服
[17:25]	and the hottest boys and, you know…	最帅的男孩 还有…
[17:28]	She bothers you.	你讨厌她
[17:29]	A lot.	非常讨厌
[17:30]	So, one night, I was just having a glass of wine.	有天晚上 我喝了杯酒
[17:33]	– A bottle. – A bottle.	-一瓶吧 -是一瓶
[17:35]	And, uh…	接着…
[17:36]	And I just got so tired of the kids saying things like,	我特别烦他们总是嚷嚷着说
[17:39]	“I gotta take a crap.	我要拉屎
[17:41]	“I gotta take a dump.”	我要大便
[17:42]	So, I told them that it was called “Making a Devlin,”	我告诉他们那称为 “拉个德芙琳”
[17:45]	and they liked it.	他们喜欢这种说法
[17:47]	And it stuck.	变成习惯了
[17:49]	I always call it making a black pickle.	我一直称为”拉个腌黑咸菜”
[17:50]	– Making a what? – I don’t say that.	-叫什么 -我没那样说
[17:52]	Out loud?	大声说出来
[17:53]	– To others. No. – Good.	-不说了 -很好
[17:55]	What are we gonna do about my love life, though?	我的爱情生活怎么办
[17:56]	Oh, Danny, I would feel terrible for you if I had any,	丹尼 如果我有哪怕是一丁点
[18:00]	even the slightest investment	投资在你非凡的二十三岁
[18:01]	in you successfully banging 23-year-olds.	我会觉得可怕
[18:04]	Holy Devlin, you’re not listening to me.	什么德芙琳 你没好好听我说
[18:06]	This is like not some bull-Devlin fling.	这可不是我脑子里有德芙琳所以冲动的想法
[18:10]	I mean, I’m serious.	我是认真的
[18:11]	This is the real Devlin. I could…	这不是随便什么德芙琳 我可以…
[18:14]	I swear to God, I could see myself ending up with this girl.	我发誓 我会跟她白头偕老
[18:19]	You’re right. You can’t tell her the truth.	你说的没错 你不能告诉她真相
[18:21]	High score!	破纪录了
[18:22]	Oh, God. Sorry.	天啊 别见怪
[18:25]	I’m glad someone’s doing good.	至少还有个人表现不错
[18:27]	You know what? You don’t wanna get serious,	知道吗 你不能随便认真啊
[18:29]	’cause when you get serious, that leads to marriage,	一旦你认真了 接下来就是结婚了
[18:32]	and then marriage leads to divorce, and divorce is just…	结婚之后就是离婚了 离婚之后就…
[18:34]	I mean, look at these poor kids.	瞧瞧这两个孩子可怜的娃
[18:36]	You know, their dad was supposed to pick them up today.	他们的爸爸本该今天来接他们的
[18:38]	– He was a no-show? – Again.	-他放他们鸽子了 -又一次
[18:40]	But you know what?	但是你知道吗
[18:41]	At least I got my head together and I divorced him.	至少我头脑清醒 和他离婚了
[18:47]	Wait a minute.	等等
[18:56]	You go ahead without me.	你自己去吧
[18:58]	Palmer, Palmer, Palmer, Palmer, Palmer.	帕莫尔 帕莫尔 帕莫尔 帕莫尔 帕莫尔
[19:00]	I told you I didn’t want to see you.	我说了不想再看到你了
[19:02]	I just want to explain something to you.	我只是想解释点事
[19:03]	Let me explain something to you.	还是我解释给你听吧
[19:08]	I do not date married men.	我绝不和已婚男人约会
[19:10]	My father cheated on my mom when I was young.	小时候我爸就背叛过我妈
[19:12]	I am not going to be the other woman!	我不想当小三
[19:14]	Adulterer! Fornicator!	奸夫 姘头
[19:16]	All right, take it easy, Damien, all right?	达米恩 别激动 淡定 行吗
[19:18]	Okay, his name is Silas, leave him out of this.	得了 他是塞拉斯 别把他扯进来
[19:20]	I’ll kill you.	我要杀了你
[19:23]	What? Anytime!	真的吗 随时恭候
[19:26]	Listen! I am married.	听着 我是结过婚的
[19:28]	But it is a horrible marriage.	但这是段糟糕的婚姻
[19:30]	She doesn’t even talk to me anymore.	她现在压根不跟我说话
[19:32]	Danny, that’s what all married men say.	丹尼 是个已婚男人都这样说
[19:34]	If it’s so bad, why don’t you get divorced?	真那么糟的话 你干嘛不离了
[19:36]	I am.	我离了
[19:39]	– You are? – Yes! It’s over.	-你离婚了 -没错 都结束了
[19:42]	Oh, my God, I can’t believe this.	天啊 简直不敢相信
[19:43]	I destroyed a marriage!	我毁了一段婚姻
[19:45]	I really feel like I’m gonna be sick. I can’t…	我都干了什么啊 我不能…
[19:47]	No, no, it wasn’t ’cause of you!	不 不 这和你没关系
[19:49]	I filed a long, long time ago.	很早很早之前 我就提出要离婚了
[19:51]	We’re gonna sign the papers in a couple of days	这两天我们就要签字了
[19:55]	and it’s like, she’s dead to me.	这样一来 我们就毫无瓜葛了
[19:57]	What’s her name?	她叫什么
[19:58]	Mrs. Maccabee.	麦卡比太太
[20:01]	You mean her first name? Her first name is Devlin.	你是指她的名字 她的名字叫德芙琳
[20:06]	Her name’s Devlin?	她叫德芙琳
[20:07]	Isn’t that a shitty name? Yeah, yeah, yeah.	屎一般的名字吧 没错 绝对的
[20:10]	But Devlin and I are splitting up, fortunately,	幸运的是 德芙琳和我就要各过各的了
[20:14]	’cause I caught her cheating on me with another guy.	我发现她和另一个男人有奸情
[20:19]	I didn’t catch her.	我没发现
[20:20]	The television show Cheaters caught her and the guy.	是背叛者那个电视节目 替我干了这事
[20:25]	And I told them not to air it, though,	不过我让他们别播
[20:26]	because it’s too painful.	这太伤我面子了
[20:28]	They actually burned the tape so you can’t see it.	他们把录像带烧了 你看不到了
[20:31]	But I would love you to.	但我倒希望证明给你看看
[20:33]	There’s another man?	她外面真有男人啊
[20:35]	There’s another guy, yes. Dolph.	是有男人 那男人叫道夫
[20:38]	Dolph?	道夫
[20:39]	Dolph Lundgren. Yeah.	道夫·伦德伦
[20:42]	Like the guy from Rocky IV?	虎胆龙威里的那个
[20:44]	No, no, a different Dolph Lundgren.	不 另一个道夫·伦德伦
[20:47]	Apparently, if you bring that one up,	显而易见 如果你把那个当成了这个
[20:49]	this one gets really angry, so don’t.	这个会很生气的 所以别这样干
[20:51]	Danny, guys always say they’re gonna leave their wives.	丹尼 男人总是耍耍嘴皮子说要离婚
[20:53]	They never do.	但有几个真那么干
[20:55]	I’m telling you, she’s happy with this Dolph guy,	跟你说吧 她和那个道夫一起很逍遥
[20:57]	good for her. Now I wanna be happy.	那就祝她幸福 现在我也想快乐点
[20:59]	And the only way I can be happy is if I’m with you!	但只有和你一起我才快乐
[21:01]	All right?	懂了吗
[21:03]	Just wanna be able to be with you	只想光明正大地和你在一起
[21:06]	and not be called a “Fornicator”	不用被人骂”片头”
[21:08]	or an “Adulterer” Or whatever that	或者什么”奸夫”之类的
[21:10]	Children of the Corn kid was calling me.	那个可怕的小孩骂我的
[21:12]	Okay.	可以
[21:13]	Okay?	真的可以
[21:15]	I just need to hear it from her.	不过这些我要从她嘴里听到
[21:18]	How about if she texts you, would that be good?	让她给你发短信 这样行吗
[21:20]	I need to meet her.	我要见见她
[21:27]	Let’s do it.	那就见吧
[21:29]	You want me to be your wife?	你想让我扮你老婆
[21:31]	And you couldn’t think of another name, other than Devlin?	你就不能想个德芙琳之外的名字
[21:33]	I practically took a Devlin in my pants when she asked me.	她一问我 我差点裤子里都出来德芙琳了
[21:36]	“What’s her name?” I got panicked.	她一问”她的名字叫什么” 我立马就慌了
[21:37]	I get nervous around this girl.	在她面前我很紧张
[21:38]	You got panicked?	你还会慌
[21:39]	You who invents a fake wife every Friday night?	你都胆大到每周五晚搞个假老婆了
[21:42]	Yeah. Doesn’t that say something	不过这不正说明了
[21:43]	about what I feel about this girl?	我对这个女孩有好感吗
[21:44]	Have you ever thought about the time	你难道就没想过
[21:46]	that she’s actually gonna walk into your office…	要是她真来你办公室
[21:47]	…and sees that I’m your assistant receptionist?	然后看到我是你的助理兼接待 她会怎么想
[21:52]	So easy. I’m a plastic surgeon,	你就放心吧 我可是整形医生
[21:53]	you will never look like you again.	你以后就不长这个样了
[21:55]	– Snip, snap. Chip, chap. – What are you talking about?	-剪剪剪 咔嚓 -你乱说什么啊
[21:57]	I’m kidding. I’ll get you a fake mustache.	开个玩笑嘛 给你弄个假胡子
[21:59]	Oh, my God, you’ve really, really not thought this through.	天啊 你压根什么都没想好
[22:02]	Will you please just look at some clothes?	你就不能好好挑挑衣服
[22:05]	Look at that. I don’t wear…	你看那个 我不穿那种
[22:06]	I have clothes, by the way.	另外 我自己有衣服
[22:08]	I do not need to do any of this. I’m fine.	我才不需要这些呢 我这样已经很好了
[22:09]	Yes. You have the best clothes that Old Navy sells.	是是是 老海军里最好的都穿你身上了
[22:11]	I’m just saying you gotta look like a plastic surgeon’s wife.	但你得有整形医生老婆的范啊
[22:13]	I want to create the illusion I had a hot first wife.	我得让人觉得我有个性感的老婆
[22:16]	– You’re so… – Not this!	-你怎么这么 -反正不是你这样的
[22:17]	Okay, come on, let’s go, you asked for it.	行 那就走吧 这可是你自找的
[22:19]	I’m ready.	我准备好了
[22:24]	Wow! These are… Oh, geez.	这鞋也太… 天啊
[22:27]	Nice, nice.	不错 很不错
[22:28]	It’s just been a while since I’ve been in heels, sorry.	不好意思 我只是很久没穿高跟鞋了
[22:33]	Get there. Yeah, great.	去那照照看 很不错
[22:35]	Oh, my God! These are gorgeous!	天啊 太美了
[22:39]	– How much are these? – $1,700.	-多少钱 -一千七百美元
[22:41]	$1,700? What, do you come with them?	一千七百美元能把你也一起买了
[22:44]	My parents’ house costs $1,700.	我爸妈的房子也才花了一千七百美元
[22:47]	No, no.	不要了 不要了
[22:49]	No. What, did Mickey Mantle sign those?	不买了 难不成米奇·曼托还在上面签名了
[22:50]	Why are they $1,700, they made outta panda?	居然要一千七百美元 它们是熊猫做的啊
[22:53]	– Walk away. – Yeah. You know what?	-走了走了 -好吧 好吧
[22:54]	We won’t really be needing them anyway.	本来也不是非要买这个
[22:56]	‘Cause I’m actually starting to…	我都开始觉得…
[22:58]	I’m actually starting to feel not so hot. Is it warm in here?	我开始觉得不那么性感了 这里是不是开暖气了
[23:02]	Whoo. I’m not sure I’ll be able to make it this evening.	我都不确定今晚我能不能做到啊
[23:05]	Very good. Okay, you know what? We’ll take them.	好得很 行了 你猜怎么着 我们买下了
[23:09]	– It’s your Christmas bonus. – Oh, really?	-用的可是你的圣诞奖金 -这样啊
[23:11]	Okay, then I would like them in blue, too.	那好 那双蓝色的我也要了
[23:13]	In case a heel breaks or I just want to cuddle.	坏了还有双能换 买来抱着睡觉也行
[23:16]	It’s beautiful.	它们很美
[23:16]	You sicken me.	你要惹恼我了
[23:18]	Yes, well, that’s why we’re getting a divorce.	我们不就因为这离婚的吗
[23:20]	We’re getting a divorce	我们之所以离婚
[23:21]	because you’re greedy, schemy and selfish.	是因为你变得贪婪 阴险和自私
[23:25]	Actually, I think you need to get the matching bag, too.	说实话 我觉得你应该再去挑个包搭配一下
[23:27]	Yeah, I think I should.	我也这么想的
[23:29]	Thank you, Laurie. I agree.	劳瑞 谢了 我完全同意
[23:31]	All the girls are sticking together. Isn’t that sweet?	姑娘们开始帮忙了 真贴心啊
[23:33]	She’s on your side, what a shock.	她和你一伙的 太让我吃惊了
[23:35]	You asked for this. Trust me.	相信我 这是你自找的
[23:37]	You asked for this.	这也是你自找的
[24:07]	No.	不行
[24:09]	No.	不行
[24:17]	Hell, no! No, no, no!	天啊 不行 不行 不行
[24:20]	What do you mean, no?	你到底说什么不行啊
[24:22]	No? No what?	不行 什么不行
[24:23]	No hope. Okay? There’s only one word for it.	没戏了 是吧 只有一个词可以形容它
[24:26]	– What is it? – Neglect.	-什么词 -忽略它
[24:29]	Okay? This is the one word	明白吧 只剩这词
[24:31]	for the whole thing.	可以来总结这事
[24:32]	Are you the husband?	你是她老公
[24:32]	I’m the soon to be ex-husband.	很快就是前夫了
[24:35]	We’re getting a divorce.	我们要离婚了
[24:36]	Well, you know he’s not divorcing you.	你要知道 他不是和你离婚
[24:37]	He’s divorcing your head.	他是和你的头发离婚
[24:39]	True ‘dat, Ernesto. Right on the money.	真理啊 厄尼斯托 完全正确
[24:41]	Your hair is so messed up, I don’t even…	你的头发一团糟 我甚至…
[24:42]	Let me count the ways.	我来数数到底怎么个糟法
[24:43]	It’s dull, it’s dead, it’s flat.	又土 又杂 还蠢
[24:47]	Don’t forget smelly.	还没算那气味呢
[24:48]	It don’t smell, particularly…	尤其是 它压根闻不得
[24:49]	Okay, I think we got it.	得了 我知道了
[24:50]	You bad.	你太邪恶了
[24:51]	You is bad. Give me a little bit.	你太邪恶了 把邪恶分我点吧
[24:52]	That’s bad, though.	那实在是太邪恶了
[24:53]	You guys, come on, seriously. Ernesto, can you just, please	喂 臭男人 严肃点 厄尼斯托
[24:57]	do something, so we can be home	快点动手 我还想回家呢
[24:59]	and I can get out of here?	我想离开这呢
[25:00]	Hurricane Katrina could do something, baby.	卡特里娜飓风可以搞定它的
[25:02]	I’m gonna do something transcendent.	我要做点与众不同的事
[25:04]	Katya! Yuri, Mrs. Hwiggins!	凯特雅 由里 华金森太太
[25:06]	We going in deep, y’all.	我们要干活了 全都过来
[25:09]	You seem nervous, Danny.	丹尼 你好像很紧张
[25:11]	No, no, I just…	没有 我只是…
[25:12]	It’s weird, she gets me very tense.	这太怪了 我居然会因为她紧张
[25:14]	I’m sorry to put you through this.	真对不起 让你这么痛苦
[25:16]	No, I understand why we’re doing this.	没事 我能理解你这样做
[25:17]	I’m just looking forward to getting past this part of my life	我就想告别过去
[25:19]	and moving on to the good part.	展望未来
[25:21]	We will. Soon. Tonight.	会的 很快 今晚就行
[25:25]	Good God, yes.	天啊 太好了
[25:45]	Is that her?	那就是她吗
[25:48]	I think so.	我想是的
[25:52]	She’s stunning.	美呆了
[25:54]	I love her shoes.	我喜欢她的鞋
[25:56]	Yeah, well, she got about five pairs of them.	她有五双这样的
[25:59]	Maybe she’ll give you one.	你可以跟她要一双
[26:01]	Henderson!	亨德森
[26:03]	Do you see Dr. Maccabee anywhere in this…	你有没在这附近看到麦卡比医生…
[26:06]	Oh! There he is.	他在那呢
[26:07]	Keep the car running, shan’t be long.	车别熄 我马上就来
[26:10]	Hello, boring!	你好啊 无聊男
[26:11]	Hey. You went with a limo driver?	你还租了辆豪华轿车来
[26:13]	I’m just playing the part.	演戏要演全套嘛
[26:15]	Okay.	那好
[26:17]	Palmer! Hi.	帕莫尔 你好呀
[26:19]	Devlin Maccabee.Soon to be, single-abee.	我是德芙琳 麦卡比 但很快就单身了
[26:23]	Waiter! Excuse me. Anybody?	服务员 有人吗
[26:27]	Yes, yes. Something to drink, madam?	这里 想要喝点什么吗 夫人
[26:29]	Well, hello.	你好啊
[26:31]	I would like a tall glass of you.	我把你能喝了吗
[26:33]	Is that possible? Meow!	这样行不 喵
[26:36]	I’m just kidding. Unless you’re really into it.	开个玩笑 除非你喜欢这样
[26:40]	Kidding again. No, I’m not.	还是玩笑 不 没开玩笑呢
[26:42]	We don’t know. Grey Goose martinis,	谁知道呢 来杯灰鹅马提尼吧
[26:44]	just keep ’em coming.	快点
[26:45]	Okay.	好的
[26:47]	Make that a dirty martini. Okay?	做杯黄一点的马提尼 知道吗
[26:50]	Okay, that was a good one.	好的 那个很不错
[26:51]	Well, so, Palmer.	帕莫尔
[26:53]	I heard you and Danny had sex.	我听说你和丹尼上床了
[26:59]	Yes. I am so sorry, I had…	是的 我很抱歉 我…
[27:03]	Please, honey, it is fine.	亲爱的 没关系的
[27:05]	I’m just happy to hear	我很欣慰的是
[27:07]	that his thing-a-ding can still ring-a-ding.	他的老二又焕发了活力
[27:09]	‘Cause he’s got a serious small issue	因为在ED方面
[27:13]	with ED. Over here.	他有过一点很严重的小问题 那里
[27:15]	Okay.	没问题的
[27:17]	What’s ED? I don’t…	什么是ED 我不…
[27:18]	Oh, gosh. I forgot. You’re fifteen.	天啊 我都忘了 你还小呢
[27:22]	Erectile dysfunction, my darling.	是勃起功能障碍的意思 亲爱的
[27:26]	Think about it as if	把它想成好像就是
[27:27]	you’re trying to throw darts and you just…	这就好像你正准备射飞镖
[27:30]	All you really got, you’re shooting with,	当你蓄势待发的时候 手里那玩意儿
[27:32]	like, overcooked spaghetti.	却突然变成了软塌塌的意大利面
[27:35]	I just think that my spaghetti wasn’t loving	我想我的意大利面不会喜欢
[27:37]	the meatballs that was being served.	和肉丸子一起的
[27:39]	They were a little too lumpy.	它们太油腻了
[27:42]	I’ve heard from a lot of men that I serve	很多男人对我说
[27:44]	the finest meatballs in Southern California.	我的肉丸子是全南加州最好的
[27:48]	Of course. A lot of homeless men have said this.	当然 很多流浪汉说过这样的话
[27:52]	They’ll eat anything, you know.	给啥他们吃啥 你懂的
[27:54]	I’m just very shocked that you remember	我只是很惊讶 嗑了那么多药后
[27:56]	anybody you’ve ever been with.	你居然还记得
[27:58]	With all the pills that are in your system.	你都和谁在一起过
[28:01]	She likes the pills, this one.	她可喜欢嗑药了 比如说
[28:03]	At night I come home, “What’s for dinner?”	晚上我回到家 “晚上吃什么”
[28:04]	“Well, we have purple pills, and the green ones,	“我们有紫色药丸 有绿色药丸
[28:08]	and some lovely yellow bombers,”	还有些讨人爱的黄灿灿的大麻”
[28:10]	“I just took out of the oven.”	“我刚把它们从烤炉里拿出来了”
[28:12]	Remember that?	这事还记得吗
[28:15]	I had to do something to amuse myself	我得做点什么来娱乐一下吧
[28:17]	while this one sat on the throne for hours	他总是一折腾几个小时
[28:21]	dealing with his irritable bowel syndrome.	纠结于他的”大肠激躁病”
[28:23]	I got another disease. Okay.	我又有新病了 很好
[28:25]	Can I tell you, I spent the eve of our wedding	我跟你说啊 新婚之夜
[28:29]	sitting on the bed,	我独自坐在床上
[28:30]	listening to what sounded like an underwater symphony,	听着某种像法国号角和低音管
[28:35]	of French horns and bassoons	奏成的水中交响乐
[28:38]	coming out of our hotel bathroom.	从我们的酒店浴室传出
[28:40]	Mix that with the smell of like a dead cat and some fajitas	还有类似死猫和法士达混合的味道
[28:44]	and you’ve got what you call yourself	然后你就会觉得自己
[28:46]	a severely diminished libido.	性趣全无了
[28:52]	Did you just kick me?	你刚才踢我了
[28:53]	No. Did you? You kicked her?	没有呀 你有吗 你踢她了
[28:56]	Why’d you kick her?	你为什么要踢她
[28:57]	Yeah, I don’t… I… Yes. I… I have leg spasms.	我没有…不 我有…我腿特容易抽筋
[29:04]	It’s a side effect.	这个是副作用
[29:05]	Terrible side effect from all the pill popping.	那些药丸突然来劲 产生了副作用
[29:07]	But, you know, it’s all better now.	但现在好多了
[29:09]	I’m clean and sober and I apologize.	我已经戒了 我向你道歉
[29:11]	It’s okay.	没关系
[29:12]	Thirteenth step, right there. Back to drinking.	你过会还要下楼梯 使劲喝吧你[过会摔死你]
[29:16]	Oh, Henderson, you thoughtless oaf,	亨德森 你个没脑的傻子
[29:18]	stop texting, open that door.	快别玩手机了 开门
[29:20]	– Why do you keep calling me Henderson? – Just go with it.	-你为什么老叫我亨德森 -随它去吧[本电影名]
[29:22]	Palmer, so lovely to meet you.	帕莫尔 见到你真是太好了
[29:24]	Likewise, really.	我也一样 真的
[29:26]	I mean, look at you two.	看看你俩
[29:28]	I mean, it’s like, Barbie and…	就像 芭比和…
[29:32]	…Grandpa Ken.	变了身的肯爷爷
[29:36]	I mean… And even though it did not work out	虽然我和他最后
[29:39]	between us at all…	没有成功
[29:42]	It’s like it never happened. You know?	就像从未发生 你懂吧
[29:44]	It really isn’t.	是没发生过
[29:45]	I still want my Danny to be happy.	我还是希望丹尼过得快乐
[29:47]	Oh, look at that.	听听这话
[29:48]	Happy, happy, happy.	快乐 快乐 快乐
[29:49]	– Good night, kiddo. – Okay.	-晚安 大姐 -好的
[29:50]	Hello.	喂
[29:52]	It’s her drug dealer I’m thinking.	我想是她的药贩子打来的
[29:54]	Okay, please put her on the phone right now.	知道了 现在让她接电话
[29:57]	Are you kidding me, honey?	宝贝 你开什么玩笑
[29:58]	You know how I feel about	你知道我不喜欢
[30:00]	you selling your brother’s stuff on eBay.	你把弟弟的东西放易趣上卖
[30:03]	Hey, hey, hey. Take that in the car.	嘿 先上车再接那电话
[30:05]	No. It’s okay.	没事 没关系的
[30:06]	I will deal with you when I get home, young lady. Okay.	等我回家再收拾你 臭丫头 就这样
[30:11]	I mean, you would think…	你认为…
[30:16]	You have kids?	你们有小孩
[30:21]	You have… You have children?	你们有孩子了
[30:23]	We have sort of a little bit…	我们算是 算是有几个小…
[30:26]	A little bit of children, right?	几个小孩子 对吧
[30:28]	When were you planning on telling me	你打算什么时候才告诉我
[30:29]	about these children, Danny?	孩子的事 丹尼
[30:31]	I don’t know, but listen,	我不知道 但是听着
[30:32]	I have to go get to those little munchkins.	我得回去看这些倒霉孩子了
[30:35]	Palmer, so nice, seriously.	帕莫尔 说真的 见到你真好
[30:37]	Danny.	丹尼
[30:47]	Are you freaked out right now about all this or…	你被这些给吓坏了吧 还是…
[30:49]	Actually, just the opposite.	实际上 正好相反
[30:52]	The opposite of freaked out? What do you mean? Good?	刚好相反 什么意思 有孩子很好
[30:55]	You know that I love kids.	你知道的 我特喜欢孩子
[30:58]	I just never pegged you as a kids guy.	我只是没想到你会喜欢孩子
[31:00]	I’m a huge kids guy. I love kids.	我绝对是个孩子王 我爱死孩子了
[31:03]	Kids, kids, kids. Is…	孩子 孩子 孩子
[31:04]	Yeah, yeah, yeah, that’s my thing. That’s my bumper sticker.	他们就是我爱的菜 就是我的专属之爱
[31:07]	What are their names?	他们叫什么
[31:08]	What are their names again? There is	又问名字 有个
[31:12]	the girl who, of course, is Kiki Dee.	女孩 叫做琪琪蒂
[31:17]	And then the boy’s name’s Bart.	还有个男孩叫做巴特
[31:21]	Which of course is short for Barto.	是巴特奥的简称
[31:24]	Well, I wanna meet them!	我想见见他们
[31:26]	Of course you do.	当然你可以见他们
[31:28]	So our mom doesn’t know that you took us today?	我妈不知道你今天带我们出来吧
[31:30]	Not yet.	暂时不知道
[31:31]	You know this is kidnapping.	这可是绑架
[31:33]	Stranger danger.	危险的陌生人
[31:34]	What? No.	什么 我不是
[31:35]	Is the guy from Dateline NBC gonna walk in?	日线NBC的那主持人过会要来吗
[31:38]	No! I know you two a long time and Rosa’s here.	不 我认识你们这么久了 而且玫瑰就在那
[31:45]	Doing whatever that Rosa does.	做她会做的事
[31:47]	God, she’s freaky.	天啊 她简直疯了
[31:49]	So here’s the deal.	这么回事
[31:51]	How would you like to be my pretend children	你们愿不愿意假扮我的孩子
[31:54]	for one afternoon?	就一个下午
[31:56]	Why don’t you just tell that poor girl the truth?	为什么不直接把真相告诉那可怜的女孩呢
[31:59]	You know?	你知道这事
[32:00]	Our mother tells us everything.	妈妈什么都告诉我们了
[32:02]	Wedding ring boy.	婚戒男
[32:03]	What?	什么
[32:04]	Oh, my goodness!	我的天啊
[32:04]	Did you see Gossip Girl last night? It was so good!	你昨晚看了绯闻少女了吗 太精彩了
[32:07]	No, she’s not like that.	她才不是那样的
[32:09]	Your mother’s presenting her in a weird, weird way.	你妈妈把她说得太做作了
[32:11]	I’m just saying, telling the truth	我只想说 说出真相
[32:13]	is not in the cards right now.	不是现在该做的事
[32:14]	I thought you’d be excited to have an acting job.	我以为你们会对演戏这工作很兴奋
[32:17]	If it’s an acting job, we should get paid.	如果是工作 就得给我们报酬
[32:19]	Yeah, you’re gonna get paid in experience.	你们会得到工作经验
[32:22]	I wanna actually get paid.	我想要实际的报酬
[32:25]	All right, what do you want?	成 你想要什么
[32:26]	$600 for the day,	每天六百美元
[32:28]	plus overtime if we go over eight hours.	超出八小时要另外加钱
[32:31]	I’ll do my own hair and makeup.	我要求专人给我做造型
[32:32]	And I want you to pay for the six-week intensive acting camp	还要你给我付六周的集中表演训练营的钱
[32:35]	that my mom can’t afford.	我妈妈付不起这钱
[32:37]	$50 for the day and a	五十美元每天
[32:39]	two-week acting class at the YMCA nearest you.	在离你最近的基督教青年会上两周表演课
[32:42]	$500 and a four-week acting class.	五百每天再加上四周的表演课
[32:44]	$300 and a three-week class.	三百每天加上三周的表演课
[32:47]	Done.	成交
[32:49]	I would have done it for $500.	其实五百我也会同意的
[32:52]	I would have done it for the experience.	其实只是经验我也会同意的
[32:56]	Michael, you’re up. Opener?	迈克尔 该你了 开口吧
[32:59]	I want you to take me to Hawaii	我想让你带我去夏威夷
[33:01]	so I can swim with the dolphins.	这样我就可以和海豚一起游泳了
[33:03]	You’re not gonna let that one go, are you?	你就忘不了这事儿 是吧
[33:05]	We’re not going to Hawaii, pal.	我们不会去夏威夷的 小朋友
[33:06]	Anything else?	就不能换个
[33:07]	Find someone else then.	另请高明吧
[33:15]	Ooh, the Mafia stare down. Very good, Michael.	学黑手党用眼神杀死我是吧 很好 迈克尔
[33:19]	We’re here to negotiate.	我们是来谈判的
[33:20]	Do you have anything else you might like?	你喜欢些别的吗
[33:23]	I want a flying pony.	我要匹飞马
[33:24]	I want a flying pony too, Michael, but they don’t exist.	我也想要 但是迈克尔 它们不存在
[33:27]	Then I want a regular pony. And I want to name him Nelson.	那我要匹普通的马 然后取名叫内尔森
[33:31]	How about a Playstation 3 and we name him Nelson?	买个PSP3 然后叫它内尔森如何
[33:34]	Keep talking.	接着说
[33:36]	We’ll include four video games.	PSP里装四个游戏
[33:38]	Five games.	五个
[33:39]	And I want the meeting with blondie to be at J.D. McFunnigan’s.	我还要去麦克芬尼根游乐园见”金发女郎”
[33:43]	How ’bout Charlie Choo-Choo’s	去查理乐乐游乐园怎样
[33:44]	’cause it’s right down the street from me.	它正好在我住的街区下面
[33:45]	Mention that slop-hole again and I walk.	再提那破店 我就走人了
[33:48]	All right, take it easy, son. Take it easy.	行 别激动 伙计 淡定
[33:51]	And I want unlimited tokens.	我还想要无限游戏币
[33:53]	If I can spend ’em, I wanna have ’em.	要足够的
[33:55]	I don’t wanna be like playing Skee-Ball	我可不想玩着玩着游戏
[33:57]	and all of a sudden run out of tokens.	结果没有游戏币玩不了了
[33:59]	All right, I can make that happen.	行 这个我能办得到
[34:02]	So do we have a deal?	这么说我们成交了
[34:06]	Deal.	成交
[34:08]	Deal’s off unless you eat that pizza, though. Seriously.	你们不吃完披萨交易就取消了 说真的
[34:13]	Can I do an accent?	我能带点口音吗
[34:15]	Let me hear some.	让我听听
[34:16]	‘Ello!	你好[英音]
[34:17]	– No. – Okay.	-想都别想 -好吧
[34:18]	My kids? Have you completely lost your mind?	我孩子 你疯了吗你
[34:21]	Are you kidding me right now?	你还好意思说我
[34:23]	You’re the one who picked up your cell phone.	是你拿起电话说到孩子的
[34:25]	That is not…	那不是…
[34:26]	Mrs. Harrington…	哈瑞顿太太…
[34:29]	The doctor will see you now.	医生马上给你看病
[34:32]	I can’t believe you’re	简直不敢相信
[34:33]	doing all of this just so you can get some.	你使劲浑身解数只为了泡个妞
[34:35]	It’s just gross. You’re just pathetic.	显然 你太悲了
[34:36]	I’m not trying to get some. I already got some.	我不是为了泡个妞 我已经泡到了
[34:39]	And yes, I’d like to continue getting some.	可能的话 我想继续泡下去
[34:41]	I’m pro me getting some.	虽然现在已经尝到了鲜
[34:42]	Have a seat right there, Mrs. Harrington.	哈瑞顿太太 请坐到那里
[34:44]	Remove your shirt, if you could.	请把衣服脱了
[34:46]	I smell something. You smell something?	我闻到了些什么 你闻到了吗
[34:50]	I smell perfume.	闻到了香水味
[34:54]	Is that coming from you?	这是你身上传来的
[34:57]	Maybe.	也许是吧
[34:59]	What, you got a date or something?	什么 你要去约会还是什么
[35:01]	I don’t have a date. I have a lunch.	不去约会 只是吃顿午饭
[35:04]	You got a lunch? Who you got a lunch with?	吃顿午饭 和谁一起吃
[35:06]	Dr. Gervitz’s office manager,	德福兹医生的办公室经理
[35:08]	if you must know everything.	如果你一定要知道所有事的话
[35:09]	His name is Brian.	告诉你他叫布莱恩
[35:10]	The guy with the gray soul patch?	那个长着灰色小胡子的家伙
[35:12]	You know what?	你知道吗
[35:14]	Hey, man, I’m Brian.	嗨 伙计 我叫布莱恩
[35:15]	You’re mean!	你太毒了
[35:16]	Wow, you wanna go to lunch sometime?	抽空一起去吃个饭吧
[35:17]	Is he gonna take you there right after the big protest?	他要在暴乱后带你去那吗
[35:20]	Hey, man, we gotta stop these squirrels.	伙计 我们得阻止这些松鼠
[35:24]	He plays bass, don’t he?	他会弹贝司 对吗
[35:28]	You can take the brassiere off, too.	请把胸罩也脱了
[35:30]	And by the way, he does play the bass.	顺便说一句 他会弹贝司
[35:32]	And he writes songs.	他还写歌
[35:34]	What does he write songs about,	他写什么类型的歌
[35:36]	how bad his ponytail stinks?	他的马尾辫有多臭
[35:37]	Mrs. Harrington, could you put your hands on your hip, please?	哈瑞顿夫人 请将手放在要上
[35:40]	Okay, so, one of the funbags is not having too much fun.	咪咪一大一小哎
[35:43]	All right, what happened anyways?	到底发生了什么事情
[35:44]	– Well, I hit it with the car door yesterday… – Right.	-昨天它撞到车门上了 -好吧
[35:47]	…and I heard a pop	我听到一声爆响
[35:48]	and then some sloshing sound when I walk.	我走路时有晃动的声音
[35:52]	Yeah. I think.	是啊 可能这就是原因
[35:58]	What are you doing?	你在干什么
[35:59]	Could be the kids or could be Brian.	可能是孩子 也可能是布莱恩
[36:02]	Okay. Stop that.	别再闹了
[36:03]	Do you mind just for one second?	不好意思 能不能耽搁你几分钟
[36:04]	Let me just talk to this guy.	我要和这家伙聊聊
[36:06]	Stop!	别碰我
[36:08]	Yeah.	太好啦
[36:10]	– Hello? – Yeah, man!	-喂 -嗨 伙计
[36:12]	– Brian? – You can lie down.	-布莱恩 -你可以躺下了
[36:14]	Yeah, hi! We sure are.	是啊 当然确定了
[36:17]	Yeah, no, sushi would be groovy.	是啊 不 吃寿司没问题
[36:19]	Okay, I’ll see you at 1 :00 in the lobby.	好 下午一点钟大厅见
[36:21]	Okay, bye.	拜拜
[36:27]	What voice was that?	你那是什么声音
[36:28]	That was my voice.	我自己的声音
[36:30]	Really?	真的吗
[36:32]	I didn’t sound like that.	我才没那么说话
[36:34]	One o’clock…	一点钟
[36:36]	You’re excited about this guy, huh?	你迷上这个男的了是吧
[36:38]	Mrs. Harrington, this is numbing cream for your nipples, okay?	哈瑞顿夫人 这是麻醉你的乳头的乳液
[36:41]	Oh. Oh, okay.	好
[36:42]	It’s gonna be one afternoon.	只是一下午的约会
[36:44]	Why are we making such a big deal out of this?	有什么了不起的
[36:45]	Because you know what? You’re trying to get my kids involved	因为你猜怎么着 你在试图让我的孩子们加入到
[36:47]	in your dysfunctional, sick little,	你那不正常的关系中 那种病态
[36:50]	pathetic, twisted web of lies.	可悲 怪癖的谎言网
[36:52]	When I was negotiating with your son, Michael,	我和你的儿子迈克尔磋商时
[36:54]	he had the biggest smile I’ve ever seen on anyone’s face.	他脸上展现了我所见过的最开心的笑容
[36:57]	When I told him we could do it at J.D. McFunnigan’s,	当我告诉他我们能去麦克芬尼根游乐园玩
[36:59]	the kid looked like he won the Heisman Trophy,	这孩子看起来就像是赢得了海斯曼奖
[37:01]	I’m not kidding you.	我可不是蒙你
[37:02]	I think that’s enough. Do you feel that?	够了 你有感觉吗
[37:04]	No.	没有
[37:05]	No, but do you feel that?	没有 但这样能感觉到吗
[37:07]	– No. – We’re good.	-没有 -很好
[37:08]	By the way, did you make this?	顺便问一句 这是你做的吗
[37:12]	We’ll have to give it to the Smithsonian	做完这个手术后
[37:14]	when we’ve done the operation. Terrific job.	我们会把它交给史密森尼博物馆 做的真棒
[37:16]	Did he really smile?	他真的笑了吗
[37:18]	Swear to God, like the cutest little smile.	向上帝发誓 是最可爱的笑容
[37:20]	And I got Maggie to eat.	而且我还让麦姬吃东西了
[37:23]	– You did? – Yeah.	-真的吗 -是的
[37:24]	Pizza. Deep dish. Three pieces.	比萨 深盘子 吃了三片
[37:26]	I can’t get her to eat anything.	我怎么说她都不吃
[37:28]	I know you can’t. Don’t do this for me.	我知道你不行 这么做不是为了我
[37:32]	Do it for the children.	为了孩子们
[37:35]	– Yeah! – Oh, stop!	-太好了 -别闹
[37:38]	Come on, you’re late!	快点 你们迟到了
[37:39]	What are you, in character right away?	马上就要出镜了 干嘛呢你们
[37:41]	Come on, let’s go!	快点 我们得进去了
[37:42]	She’s inside.	她在里面
[37:46]	What is that?	你穿的这叫什么
[37:48]	What?	什么
[37:49]	Did Victoria Beckham have a yard sale? Why are you wearing that?	维多利亚·贝克汉姆卖旧货了吗 你为什么穿成这样
[37:52]	Are you kidding me?	你开玩笑吗
[37:53]	This is what you bought for me.	这身是你给我买的
[37:55]	I know, I know. I’m just saying is it…	我知道 我知道 我只是说这身
[37:56]	All right, we’re stuck with it,	好吧 我们很喜欢这身衣服
[37:57]	I just think it’s a little over the top, but…	我只是觉得有点过分了 但是
[37:59]	Thanks. Happy to be here to help you.	谢谢 很高兴来这里帮你的忙
[38:01]	The first rule of improv is always accept the information.	即兴表演的第一个规则就是要接受新信息
[38:05]	If someone says something, just go with it.	如果有人说了什么话 随波逐流就可以了
[38:07]	No negating.	不要否认
[38:08]	Gotcha. That sounds good, that’s smart.	明白 听起来不错 很明智
[38:10]	In my acting class, when someone says “No” in a scene,	在我的表演课上 当有人在剧中说了”不”
[38:12]	the whole class yells, “Die!”	整个班级都会喊 “去死”
[38:14]	No. I mean, no one will say “No” then.	不 我是说 没有人会说”不”
[38:16]	Don’t yell “Die.”	不要喊 “去死”
[38:17]	Who’s up for some warm-up exercises?	谁来做次热身练习
[38:19]	– No, honey, I’m not gonna do that. – The what?	-不 亲爱的 我不想做 -什么
[38:21]	The tip of the tongue, the teeth, the lips.	黑化肥发挥会发灰
[38:22]	The tip of the tongue, the teeth, the lips.	灰化肥挥发会发黑
[38:26]	I got one for you. Shut up!	我也给你来个练习 闭嘴
[38:29]	All right, let’s go already. Are you ready there, Mafia?	好了 我们走 你准备好了吗 黑手党
[38:32]	– Hell, yeah. – Let’s do it!	-还用你说 -我们出发
[39:17]	Stinks.	真臭
[39:19]	Smells like kids’ feet and like skidmark underwear.	一股孩子的脚臭味 还有股汗臭的内衣味
[39:23]	Happy Father’s Day.	父亲节快乐
[39:27]	Oh! Jeez!	天啊
[39:31]	Mommy! That man put his pee-pee on my face!	妈妈 那个男人把小鸡鸡贴到了我的脸上
[39:35]	What?	坑爹哪
[39:37]	– He put his face on my pee-pee. – Danny!	-是他把脸贴到我的小鸡鸡上 -丹尼
[39:40]	– I’m saying he’s the one. – I don’t think it matters.	-我想澄清是他干的 -多大点儿事儿
[39:43]	No, I get you.	是没什么 我明白了
[39:44]	Oh, oh! Palmer, darling.	帕莫尔 亲爱的
[39:47]	Devlin. Thank you so much for bringing the kids today.	德芙琳 非常感谢你今天把孩子们带过来
[39:50]	I don’t think she was the only one who brought them.	我想她不是唯一带孩子的人
[39:52]	You know what I’m saying? They are my pride and joy.	你懂我的意思吗 他们是我的骄傲和欢乐
[39:56]	So I’d like to introduce you to, the one and only,	很高兴介绍给你 唯一的
[40:00]	Kiki Dee, who came out at nine pounds four ounces.	琪琪蒂 出生时九英镑四英两
[40:04]	Yeouch.	要命吧
[40:05]	And then the whopper, we call him, Bart,	然后是这个特大物 我们叫他巴特
[40:07]	because he was a 12-pounder and did some damage.	因为他有十二英镑重 可让妈妈受苦了
[40:12]	Hi, you guys.	你们好 孩子们
[40:14]	Hello, Palmer.	你好 帕莫尔
[40:15]	Heard so much about you.	听说了不少关于你的故事
[40:19]	You’re British?	你是英国人
[40:20]	So you’re the bird what’s	你就是那个把我父亲
[40:21]	been given Daddy the ol’ slap and tickle?	搞得五迷三道的小妞啊
[40:25]	We sent her to boarding school last year in England.	我们去年送她去了英国寄宿学校
[40:30]	See? So she picked up a slight accent.	所以她说话带点口音
[40:32]	It’s, you know, very Madonna.	非常的”麦当娜”
[40:35]	Well, it is a pleasure meeting you, Kiki Dee.	很高兴见到你 琪琪蒂
[40:38]	Wish I could say the same.	希望我也可以这么说
[40:39]	You see, before you, I had meself a father.	在你之前 我还算有自己的父亲
[40:43]	I was the apple of his eye.	我是他眼中的宝贝
[40:45]	It was all giggling and chasing butterflies	我们总是边笑边在草坪上追逐蝴蝶
[40:47]	in the meadows, and what have you.	做诸如此类的事
[40:50]	And now what do I got?	现在我有什么
[40:51]	An hour and a half every other week	每隔一周花一个半小时
[40:53]	at J.D. McFunnigan’s with him and his whore.	在麦克芬尼根乐园和他以及他的荡妇相处
[40:58]	– Koko! Kiki! – Kiki!	-蔻蔻 不是 琪琪 -琪琪
[41:03]	God, she’s in such pain.	天哪 她好像很痛苦
[41:05]	No, that’s the pills that…	不 那是药物作用
[41:06]	She took some out of her mother’s bureau.	她从她母亲的衣柜里翻出来的
[41:08]	Are you…	你在
[41:09]	All right, let me go see her.	我去看看她
[41:13]	How are you doing, sweetie?	你怎么样 甜心
[41:14]	I’ll be better when I start seeing some tokens.	见到游戏币 哥才给你好脸看
[41:19]	He’s American.	他是美国人
[41:22]	Excuse me. Yo! What was that all about?	对不起 说你呢 刚才说的话是什么意思
[41:25]	That was raw and real and in the moment.	那是即兴的未加工的现场版
[41:28]	You know, I feel very good about it.	我自我感觉非常良好
[41:29]	You do? Well, I don’t!	是吗 可我不
[41:31]	So if you wanna get your money and your acting classes,	如果你还想要钱 还有你的表演课
[41:34]	you better start doing things right from now on.	现在就好好表现
[41:37]	No more sob stories.	别给我编悲情故事
[41:38]	And we’re stuck with the English accent now, Ringo,	继续讲英音 你这臭妞
[41:40]	so commit to it. Don’t choke, got it?	给我好好演 别再抽抽了 听懂没有
[41:42]	Got it.	明白
[41:44]	Now hug me and laugh	现在拥抱我 并且大笑
[41:46]	and let’s get back into the show.	让我们接着演
[41:48]	Okay. Papa!	好吧 爸爸
[41:53]	You’re not a whore, Palmer.	你不是荡妇 帕莫尔
[41:55]	Okay.	好吧
[41:56]	That’s so nice. See what they do, they fight,	太甜蜜了 看看他们 先是吵架
[41:58]	then they make up and it’s good.	然后又会和好如初
[42:00]	Good. We’re doing good.	很好 我们做的很好
[42:01]	Are you kidding me?	坑爹呢
[42:04]	Got a hamburger here for Bart, Art the Water Fart.	汉堡包给巴特 垃圾食品
[42:08]	Here you go, kid.	给你 孩子
[42:09]	Look at that, sweet!	看看 真温馨
[42:10]	And two quesadillas for Kiki Sneaky With a Side of Freaky.	两份油炸玉米饼给鬼灵精怪的琪琪
[42:16]	Here’s the waters. No soda for you.	这些是水 不加苏打的给你
[42:18]	You’re battling diabetes, remember? Huh?	你在和糖尿病作战 记得吗
[42:22]	Kiki Dee?	琪琪蒂
[42:23]	I got you two quesadillas ’cause	我给你两份油炸玉米饼
[42:25]	it’s your favorite food so you have to eat it.	因为这是你最喜欢的食物 所以你得把它都吃了
[42:28]	Well, yes! And that’s why	是啊 这就是为什么
[42:30]	I’m going to eat every single bit of it.	我每周都会吃的片甲不留
[42:33]	All right, let’s see.	好吧 我们拭目以待
[42:38]	Yummy!	好吃
[42:39]	Thank you.	谢谢
[42:40]	Hey, I think we forgot napkins.	我们忘了拿餐巾纸
[42:42]	We did? Okay. Well let me get the napkins.	是吗 我去拿
[42:44]	Because I know she’s not gonna get up and do it	我知道她不会起身去拿
[42:46]	because she doesn’t like to get up and do anything.	因为她没有任何起身做事情的意思
[42:47]	Oh, nice.	真会说
[42:49]	Everybody be cool.	大家先聊着
[42:52]	So, Bart, your dad tells me you like to go to the bathroom.	巴特 你爸爸告诉我你特别爱去洗手间
[42:57]	When I feel it, I do it.	哥想尿 就尿
[43:00]	What else do you like?	你还喜欢什么
[43:02]	I don’t know.	不知道
[43:05]	That’s our Bart.	这就是我们的巴特
[43:06]	He’s a man of very few words.	他不太爱说话
[43:08]	Ah. Okay.	好吧
[43:10]	Maybe I’m upset.	也许是因为我情绪低落
[43:13]	Upset about me and your father dating?	是因为我和你爸爸约会吗
[43:15]	No. You seem to make my dad happy and that’s cool, but…	不是 你让我父亲感到快乐 这很好 但是
[43:20]	But what?	但是什么
[43:22]	Nothing.	没什么
[43:24]	Hey, I want you to feel comfortable	我希望咱们之间不要
[43:25]	telling me anything.	有任何秘密
[43:27]	Well, I just hate that he broke his promise to me.	我恨他没有遵守对我的承诺
[43:30]	What promise?	什么承诺
[43:31]	Yeah, what promise?	是啊 什么承诺
[43:32]	He promised me last year that he would take me to Hawaii	他去年答应我会带我去夏威夷
[43:35]	to swim with the dolphins.	和海豚游泳
[43:37]	They have this lagoon there with dolphins	他们那里有适合海豚生存的咸水湖
[43:39]	and people get to swim with them.	人们可以和它们游泳
[43:40]	What are you doing?	你要干什么
[43:41]	But without warning, my dad canceled the trip.	但没有任何原因 我爸爸取消了旅游计划
[43:44]	Why would he do that?	他为什么那么做
[43:46]	He met you.	他遇到了你
[43:49]	He what?	他什么
[43:51]	– No! – Die!	-不是 -去死
[43:53]	No, no, no, no, no, no! I’m saying that did not…	不是 不是 不是 不是这么回事
[43:56]	You misread what I said.	你误解了我说的话
[43:58]	I said we have to go to Hawaii earlier.	我是说我们要早些去夏威夷
[44:01]	Because I’m excited for all of us to hang out there.	因为大家能在一起玩我会感到很激动
[44:04]	We’re going to Hawaii!	我们要去夏威夷了
[44:15]	I can’t believe I let a six-year-old blackmail me.	真不敢相信 我让一个六岁的小孩给勒索了
[44:19]	I saw my shot and I took it.	我抓住了我的机会
[44:21]	You’re angry at yourself	你在生自己的气
[44:22]	’cause you got us into this whole situation.	因为你让我们卷入这件事
[44:24]	– I did? – You really did.	-我有吗 -你有
[44:25]	I think old Mary Poppins with the,	老电影”欢乐满人间”里有句台词
[44:27]	“You can’t say no. You can’t say no, Guv’nor.”	“你不能拒绝 你不能拒绝 长官”
[44:30]	Okay, listen, my tolerance	听着 我对这些恶作剧的
[44:32]	for these continued shenanigans is right here.	容忍度就到这个程度
[44:34]	And if it gets up to here, I’m taking my kids,	如果再深些 我就带走孩子们
[44:36]	I’m selling you out and I’m going home.	出卖你 我自己回家
[44:39]	I am so happy we are doing this, Danny.	真高兴我们能来这里 丹尼
[44:42]	Are you kidding me? We’re going to Hawaii,	那是肯定啊 我们要去夏威夷了
[44:44]	we’re gonna swim with dolphins.	我们要去和海豚游泳了
[44:45]	It’s gonna be so much fun. I was just telling the squirt.	肯定会很好玩 我正在讲海豚喷水
[44:47]	And Seventeen magazine.	你还带了《十七周刊》
[44:49]	You brought that for these guys or is that for you?	是给他们看还是自己看
[44:50]	It’s mine. It’s my favorite.	我自己看 这是我最喜欢的杂志
[44:52]	See that? Did you ever read that magazine?	看见没 你读过那杂志吗
[44:54]	Thirty years ago you did.	三十年前你读过
[44:56]	And hopefully we’re gonna have time together, right, sweetie?	希望我们有时间在一起 好吗 亲爱的
[44:59]	Wait! Wait!	等等 等等
[45:03]	Danny, wait!	丹尼 等等
[45:09]	I could not stand to be without you.	我不能忍受没有你的日子
[45:14]	Is this him?	那是他吗
[45:15]	I see the Colonel von Generous right here in front of me.	我看到尊敬的”慷慨上校”站在我面前
[45:18]	Okay, I’m confused right now.	我现在搞糊涂了
[45:20]	I’m so sorry. I’ve not introduced myself,	对不起 我还没做自我介绍
[45:22]	we have talked on the phone, but I am the Dolph Lundgren.	我们在电话里聊过 我叫道夫·伦德伦
[45:27]	Devlin’s man-friend slash love monkey.	德芙琳的男性朋友 散播快乐的使者
[45:29]	Oh, kill me now.	杀了我吧
[45:30]	Devlin said you had to stay back and work.	德芙琳说你得留下工作
[45:32]	– I did. – She what said?	-我是说过 -她说什么
[45:34]	Nein, nein to the work.	不要 不要工作
[45:36]	I will work when I am kaput.	脑残才工作
[45:38]	You know, I think this is so great	我觉得这真是太棒了
[45:40]	of all of you, so mature.	大家在一起 都这么成熟
[45:41]	I would have loved if my parents had done something like this	如果我父母离婚时能像这样
[45:43]	when they got divorced.	我会很开心
[45:45]	That’s why I was thinking we should have the man come.	所以我觉得我们应该邀请他来
[45:47]	Yeah, I’m glad. I’m glad.	是 我很高兴 我很高兴
[45:49]	It’s important for the children	让孩子们看到我们成双成对出现
[45:51]	to see us as a unit.	这很重要
[45:53]	And also I cannot stay away from this potato pancake.	而且我不能离我亲爱的小土豆太远
[45:55]	She loves the schnitzel, you know what I mean?	她爱死我这炸肉卷了 你们明白我的意思吗
[46:01]	You know what? Tongue feels a little dry.	你猜怎么着 你舌头感觉有点干了
[46:03]	Let’s go get you some water, honey. We’ll be back.	我们去给你弄点水 亲爱的 马上回来
[46:06]	That’s a big tongue, big tongue.	舌头真大 真够大
[46:07]	Get over here, get over here.	过来 过来
[46:10]	What are you doing here?	你来这要干什么
[46:11]	I don’t know, saving the day. Helping. Hello?	我不知道 挽救局面 助人为乐 你好吗
[46:13]	Who are you talking to? What are you looking at?	你在和谁说话 你在看什么
[46:16]	I can’t see in these things.	我戴着这破眼镜看不清东西
[46:17]	This is what you’re gonna do.	你这么做
[46:18]	You’re gonna tell them that	你去告诉他们
[46:19]	you ate a bad sauerkraut omelet for breakfast	你早餐吃了坏掉的德国泡菜炒蛋
[46:21]	and that you are feeling like you’re sick and that you gotta go.	你想吐 必须得走了
[46:23]	– Katherine, I can’t go. Okay? – Why?	-凯瑟琳 我不能走 -为什么
[46:25]	Because I texted a picture	因为我用新手机把我的新装备照下来
[46:27]	of my new equipment to my ex-girlfriend.	给我前女友发了个彩信
[46:29]	Oh, you’re disgusting.	你真恶心
[46:30]	And I forgot she’s engaged to a UFC fighter.	而且我忘了她未婚夫是个终极格斗冠军
[46:32]	He wants to punch me in the face.	他想当面揍我一顿
[46:34]	I wanna punch you in the face.	我想当面揍你一顿
[46:36]	Hey, guys, how we doing?	伙计们 怎么样了
[46:38]	I am just waiting for the money for the ticket.	我正在等钱买票
[46:41]	So you are coming? And I am paying?	你也来 还要我付款
[46:44]	Yes. Dolph has zero dollars.	道夫身无分文
[46:48]	Let me see if I can find my credit card.	让我看看我是否能找到信用卡
[46:50]	Oh, here it is.	给你
[46:52]	That’s for sleeping with my wife, pal.	赏你这一掌是因为你睡了我妻子 伙计
[47:08]	There you go. Thank you.	好了 谢谢
[47:11]	Didn’t have time to make any reservations,	我没来得及预订酒店
[47:13]	but I need two rooms, please.	但我需要两间房 拜托了
[47:15]	Oh, of course.	当然可以
[47:16]	Unfortunately, we only have our suites left.	不好意思 我们只剩下套房了
[47:18]	Oh, boy.	老天
[47:19]	The Waldorf Astoria at $8,000 per night	华尔道夫·阿斯托里亚套房每晚八千美金
[47:22]	and the Presidential at $12,000.	总统套房每晚一万二
[47:24]	$12,000 a night?	每晚一万二
[47:25]	Do the Rolling Stones come and play for me while I’m in there?	我住进去 滚石乐队会来为我演奏吗
[47:27]	What the hell are you talking about? Why is it so much?	你在说什么呢 为什么这么贵
[47:29]	Is it made out of panda?	它是熊猫做的吗
[47:30]	I’ve used that somewhere else, but is it?	我在别处碰到过 但这里是吗
[47:32]	No, but you’ve made some terrific suggestions	不是 但你给了极好的建议
[47:35]	and I’m gonna jot them down.	我会都记下来
[47:36]	Are you a member of the Hilton Honors Rewards program?	你是希尔顿荣誉奖的会员吗
[47:38]	No, I’m not.	不 我不是
[47:40]	Oh. That’s too bad. You should join.	真遗憾 你应该加入的
[47:42]	Yeah.	是的
[47:44]	Yay!	太好了
[47:47]	Just got reamed. I mean, I got the rooms.	刚被打劫了 我是说 我订到房间了
[47:50]	Who wants to go to the beach?	谁想去海边
[47:51]	Me!	我
[47:52]	Who wants to start drinking?	谁想喝两杯
[47:54]	Me!	我
[48:12]	Okay, yeah,	好吧 可以
[48:13]	I would create a fake family for that. Oh, my God!	为了这个 我也愿意编个假家庭 老天啊
[48:16]	You know what? You’re disgusting.	你知道吗 你实在是太恶心了
[48:18]	Mumsy, please do come in.	妈妈 你也来吧
[48:20]	The water’s as lovely as Westminster in May.	海水就像五月份的威斯敏斯特一样温柔
[48:23]	No, honey, I’m good.	不用了 亲爱的 我这样挺好
[48:24]	I don’t really feel like swimming right now.	我现在不想去游泳
[48:25]	What is this from, my Liebchen?	怎么会这么想 我最亲爱的
[48:28]	Don’t you be intimidated by her whole thing right there,	你不会因她完美的身材
[48:30]	which is perfect.	而自卑了吧
[48:32]	Oh, come on. Like she’s intimidated.	拜托 她怎么会
[48:34]	I hope when I’m her age I look that good.	希望我到她那岁数时能有她那身材就好了
[48:36]	Yes, right?	是的 对吗
[48:37]	You can look that good	如果你不乘电梯
[48:39]	if you don’t take the elevators	像演员加里·格兰特一样只爬楼梯的话
[48:41]	and only take the stairs like Cary Grant.	你可以看起来很棒
[48:46]	Take the stairs. Take the stairs.	爬楼梯 爬楼梯
[48:50]	Hey, why are we stopped here?	我们待在这干什么
[48:52]	Uh, what’s the matter?	怎么回事
[48:53]	I can’t look at engagement rings?	我不能看订婚戒指吗
[48:55]	– Engagement rings? – Yeah, you heard me.	-订婚戒指 -是啊 你听到我说的话了
[48:57]	Look all you want, but you and I both know that	看看你想要的 但我们都知道
[48:59]	you’re gonna get sick of this hottie	你会厌烦这美女
[49:01]	and you’re gonna be back on the prowl next week.	下周就回去就该犹豫不决了
[49:02]	Nope. I’m telling you, is this girl not cute?	不会 我问你 这女孩不可爱吗
[49:04]	Yeah, she’s really cute.	是 她非常可爱
[49:06]	Is she not the sweetest?	她不温柔吗
[49:07]	The nicest person I’ve ever met.	是我见过的最温柔的女孩
[49:08]	Did you ever see her lips?	你没看到她的嘴唇吗
[49:10]	I think she has the best lips I’ve ever seen.	我觉得她拥有我所见过的最棒的嘴唇
[49:11]	They’re like an inner tube and I just wanna sit on it.	就好像一个轮胎的内胎 我特想坐在上面
[49:13]	You know what I mean? And just, like…	你明白我的意思吗 就好像
[49:15]	Do you want me to knock you out, or…	你是想让我揍你一顿还是
[49:17]	No, I’m saying you should sit on her lips.	不 我是说你应该骑她的嘴上
[49:20]	Anyways…	随便了
[49:21]	You know, this whole situation reminds me of a song.	这事让我想起了一首歌
[49:24]	Danny is a big plastic surgeon.	丹尼是个很强的整形外科医生
[49:27]	Who never had time for a wife.	却没有时间找个老婆
[49:30]	And he’s friends with Davy Who’s still in the Navy.	而他的朋友和大卫仍然在参军
[49:33]	Piano Man? Why Piano Man?	钢琴家 为什么是钢琴家
[49:35]	No, it’s “Piano Dan.”	不 是”钢琴丹”
[49:36]	That’s based on your life. It’s a little Eddie remix.	来源于你的生活 有点像艾迪混录版歌曲
[49:39]	Eddie used to have an afro and pimples all over his face.	艾迪曾经梳着爆炸头 满脸的粉刺
[49:44]	So he popped and he poked ’em and Clearasil soaked ’em.	他挤呀挤 戳啊戳 洗啊洗
[49:47]	But ladies still greet him with mace.	但美女们还是用防狼喷雾欢迎他
[49:51]	I was maced one time.	我就被喷过一次
[49:52]	Five times.	好吧 五次
[49:58]	So, guys, we’re here to get to know each other better.	各位 我们来这是为了好好了解对方的
[50:01]	Yes. Yeah.	是啊 是啊
[50:02]	Dolph, let’s start with you.	道夫 你先开始
[50:03]	So, what line of work are you in?	你从事什么样的工作
[50:05]	Well, Palmer, I am in sheep.	帕莫尔 我是羊圈的
[50:11]	I’m sorry. I don’t know what you mean.	抱歉 我没明白你说的意思
[50:13]	I am a sheep shipper.	我是绵羊进货商
[50:16]	Oh. Yes.	这样啊
[50:18]	You know, people, they don’t buy the sheep	大家不再从
[50:20]	from the local sheepherder anymore.	当地的牧羊人那里买羊
[50:22]	Really? They don’t?	真的吗 他们不这样了吗
[50:24]	No, they don’t. They go online!	不 他们不了 他们都上网买
[50:27]	Yes! They go on the interweb,	是的 他们上网
[50:29]	to my website, gotprettysheep.Com.	浏览我的网页 “买漂亮的羊”网
[50:34]	And leave this, please. Thank you.	请把这个留下 谢谢
[50:35]	Now, people go on. They see the pictures of the sheep,	现在人们上网 他们看羊的照片
[50:37]	and they pick the ones they want.	挑选想要的羊
[50:39]	You know, it’s like, “I want that one.	就好像 “我想要那只”
[50:40]	“You know, it’s very stylish. You know, it’s a stylish one.”	“它很时髦 这是一只时髦的羊”
[50:43]	Goes, “Oh, no, I want the shy one who doesn’t want to baa.”	“我想要那只不会咩咩叫很害羞的羊”
[50:45]	Or they buy the sassy one,	或者他们会买一只很活泼的羊
[50:47]	who’s like, “Hey, I see you, baa, baa.”	那羊好像在说 “我看见你了 咩咩”
[50:51]	So, what do the people do with these sheep?	大家要这些羊干嘛
[50:53]	Whatever they want! Sky is the limit.	他们想干嘛就干嘛 没有限制
[50:55]	You know, some have them as pets.	有人拿它们做宠物
[50:57]	Some have them as security for the house.	有人让它们看家
[50:59]	A lot of the people…	很多人
[51:01]	The new thing is training them	最新鲜的事情是训练它们
[51:03]	to fight each other in the Sheep Fight Club.	在绵羊拳击俱乐部里格斗
[51:07]	Sheep Fight Clubs?	绵羊拳击俱乐部
[51:09]	Yes. All the sheeps, they get together.	是的 所有的绵羊 它们汇集在一起
[51:11]	They baa, all you hear is, “Baa, baa, baa.”	它们咩咩叫 你听到的只是 “咩 咩 咩”
[51:14]	And then you see hoof, kick, hoof, kick,	然后你会看到蹄子 踢腿 蹄子 踢腿
[51:15]	hoof, kick, baa, baa, baa, baa, baa!	蹄子 踢腿 咩 咩 咩 咩 咩
[51:17]	And then he’s out.	然后它就出局了
[51:18]	And that is how we met. She bought a sheep from me.	那就是我们相遇的过程 她从我这里买了一只羊
[51:22]	Really? Why?	真的吗 为什么
[51:24]	Children? Okay, tune out.	孩子们 堵上耳朵
[51:26]	Okay, ’cause some secrets are coming out,	好吧 反正一些秘密已经不再是秘密
[51:28]	all right? Some adult ones.	成年人的秘密
[51:30]	She likes to shave the sheep	她喜欢给羊剃毛
[51:33]	for the pelt for the sex, sexuals, yes.	为了做那事的皮毛 你们懂的
[51:37]	She has got a real fetish	她很迷恋
[51:39]	for the wool and stuff, you know.	羊毛这类东西
[51:41]	We do this thing called “Sheepstenein.”	我们管做这事叫”羊疯”
[51:44]	Danny? Would you come with me, please?	丹尼 你能跟我来一下吗
[51:46]	Yeah. Absolutely.	可以 当然可以
[51:47]	So, we’re gonna leave right now.	那么我们现在就走吧
[51:49]	So you guys play that game that we always love to play,	你们就玩那个我们总是很爱玩的游戏
[51:51]	Nobody Talk game.	“无人说话游戏”
[51:52]	And start now.	开始吧
[51:53]	– I’m sorry, we’re leaving. I can’t do it. – No.	-很抱歉 我们得走了 我做不到 -别
[51:56]	I’m gonna kill that guy. He’s lost it.	我真想捅他一刀 他完全失控了
[51:57]	– He was going sheep-crazy, – I’ll give you that.	-他得羊疯病了 -我承认这是事实
[51:59]	Where is your hand right now?	我的忍耐在哪
[52:00]	You wanna see where it is?	你想看看它在哪吗
[52:01]	It’s not even here anymore! It’s gone!	甚至都不在这里 气飞了
[52:03]	How about I beat him up?	我揍他一顿怎么样
[52:04]	You can beat him up with me. It’ll be fun.	你可以和我一起揍他 肯定很有趣
[52:06]	I don’t want to! I have to go.	我不想演下去 我要走了
[52:07]	– Don’t bail on me right now! – Don’t make that face at me.	-别这时候出卖我 -别给我摆这张脸
[52:09]	I cannot stand that face.	受不了你这种表情
[52:11]	Katherine?	凯瑟琳
[52:12]	Katherine Murphy?	凯瑟琳·墨菲
[52:14]	Oh, my God, Devlin Adams.	苍天啊 德芙琳·亚当斯
[52:20]	Devlin? Devlin as in taking a…	哪个德芙琳 就是拉一个…
[52:21]	Taking? From what I see…	拉 当然是
[52:24]	It’s my favorite college Devlin!	我最爱的校友德芙琳
[52:27]	Both of us here at this resort at the same time.	我们都来这度假了
[52:30]	I didn’t know you came to places like this.	我都没想到你还会来这种地方
[52:33]	Here we go.	是吧
[52:34]	Honey!	亲爱的
[52:35]	Honey, I want you to meet someone.	宝贝 认识一下
[52:37]	This is one of my best friends from my sorority.	这是我大学女生联谊会的闺密
[52:41]	Katherine, this is my husband, Ian Maxtone Jones.	凯瑟琳 这是我丈夫 伊恩·麦斯通·琼斯
[52:44]	Pleasure.	幸会
[52:45]	You might’ve heard of him. He invented the iPod.	你可能听过说 他发明了iPod
[52:48]	Well, of course he did. The iPod.	当然知道 iPod
[52:51]	The idea just came to me in the shower.	洗澡时的突发奇想
[52:54]	A shower that I was taking with Devlin.	和德芙琳洗澡时想到的
[53:00]	So, this is a cabana you guys got yourselves here, huh?	你们在这小帐篷里休息啊
[53:03]	Because my skin is so white. I don’t like to get it burned.	因为我皮肤太白了 不想被晒伤了
[53:06]	Even at night?	晚上也是吗
[53:08]	Well, in Hawaii, you never know with the sun.	在海威夷阳光无处不在
[53:09]	Very, very strong.	威力太大了
[53:11]	So you mean like a moonburn or…	你是说要防月晒
[53:14]	You look fantastic.	你状态好极了
[53:17]	You look great.	真不错
[53:18]	I’m so glad you got your teeth fixed. Much better.	真高兴你矫正牙齿了 这样好多了
[53:22]	You are just the same glorious Devlin that I remember.	我认识的德芙琳一点没变啊
[53:26]	Oh, my God, I ran into Sandra Wernick last month.	对了对了 上个月我碰到桑德拉·威尼克了
[53:30]	The poor thing. She’s already divorced and she has a child.	那个小可怜离婚了 还带着个孩子
[53:33]	She’s a single mother. It’s a disaster.	单身母亲 太悲惨了
[53:36]	I feel so bad for her.	真同情她
[53:38]	Are you married?	你结婚了吗
[53:40]	Mmm-hmm. Yes.	是啊
[53:41]	Oh! I’ve neglected to introduce you to Danny,	忘了把你介绍给丹尼了
[53:45]	Daniel Leroy Maccabee III, my husband.	丹尼尔·乐瑞·麦卡比三世 我丈夫
[53:51]	Yes. If you want me to stay,	是的 如果你想我留下来
[53:52]	will you just go with it, honey?	随它去吧 宝贝
[53:54]	Come here and please meet Devlin and Ian.	过来认识一下德芙琳和伊恩
[53:56]	This is Daniel.	这是丹尼尔
[53:58]	IPod, what’s up? How are you?	IPod 怎么样 最近如何
[54:00]	I’m fine.	不错
[54:01]	– Invented it. – I heard.	-他发明的 -对 刚听到了
[54:03]	Devlin, I think I spoke about you with my wife	德芙琳 我和我老婆洗澡时
[54:06]	in the bathroom one or two times, right?	提到过你一两次 是吧
[54:07]	We did.	是的
[54:09]	Number two.	一两次
[54:10]	We did it twice, yes.	提过两次 是的
[54:12]	So, chief, tell me, what do you do for a living?	老兄 你干哪行的
[54:15]	I’m also an inventor, just like you.	我也是个发明家 像你一样
[54:17]	I invented the barking hand.	我发明了会狗叫的手
[54:20]	I got you. But you’re sunburned?	吓到了吧 你怕晒伤吗
[54:22]	– No. – What?	-不是的 -怎么
[54:24]	You are a surgeon.	你是个外科医生
[54:25]	He’s a plastic surgeon, and he’s one of the best	他是整形外科 顶尖级
[54:28]	according to Los Angeles Magazine.	《洛杉矶杂志》这么说的
[54:30]	Touchdown!	厉害啊
[54:32]	Yes. Well, that, yeah.	是的 可不是
[54:34]	Touched it down.	不简单
[54:35]	We gotta go back. We have to run. It was great to see you.	我们得走了 很高兴见到你
[54:37]	We have to get back to our kids. So…	小孩还在那边
[54:39]	You have kids?	你有小孩
[54:40]	Mmm-hmm. Yeah, two, actually.	是啊 两个
[54:43]	We couldn’t wait to start creating lives.	我们一心想快点造人
[54:45]	And by the way, I created these children in the shower.	对了 是在洗澡时造的
[54:49]	Right?	对吧
[54:50]	– You did. – You know what I’m saying, homeboy?	-对 -知道我意思吗 小子
[54:53]	That is funny.	真有意思
[54:55]	Wow, you’ve been together a long time.	你们在一起挺久了吧
[54:56]	Am I gonna leave this girl? Look at her.	我怎么舍得离开她
[54:58]	Still gets the flag up the pole,	她还是让我性致盎然
[55:00]	if you know what I mean.	你应该懂的
[55:01]	Bing-bang. An iRod, I should say.	她是我的亲亲宝贝
[55:04]	Oh. Come on, hit that.	来嘛
[55:04]	– Why’d you leave me hanging so long? – You’re so clever.	-干嘛让我举这么久 -你太聪明了
[55:06]	That’s so silly.	别干蠢事
[55:08]	The four of us should get together	我们四个应该改天
[55:09]	and have dinner one night.	一起吃个饭
[55:10]	Oh! That would be almost like a dream of mine.	我做梦都想这样
[55:13]	If we could ever get ourselves out of the bedroom.	如果我们能下床的话
[55:17]	Katherine Murphy, look at you!	凯瑟琳·墨菲 看看你
[55:19]	Oh, no, not Murphy anymore. Leroy Maccabee.	不对哦 不是墨菲了 应该是乐瑞·麦卡比
[55:23]	That’s right.	是的
[55:24]	The third. Anyway, so it was great to see you and meet you, Ian.	三世 在这遇到你真好 还有你伊恩
[55:28]	The big E. Love the Shuffle, by the way.	对了 我很喜欢Shuffle
[55:30]	Good to meet you. Bye! Thanks. You, too!	很高兴认识你 再见
[55:33]	What are you talking about? She was nice.	你胡说些什么 她人不错啊
[55:35]	– I’m gonna kill you. – Come on. You need me, though, right?	-我要杀了你 -别 你现在需要我
[55:37]	I don’t believe that just happened.	真不敢相信
[55:38]	I like that you need me. How’s that make you feel?	我喜欢这感觉 你觉得怎么样
[55:39]	Please, it feels like a car door just slowly shut on my soul.	拜托 糟得像慢慢被车门轧
[55:42]	– Come here! Listen. – What?	-过来 听着 -什么
[55:43]	Do you know how I feel right now?	你知道我现在什么感觉吗
[55:45]	You were getting me so upset,	我无奈死了啊
[55:46]	bringing me into that web of lies.	你让我撒一连串的谎
[55:47]	My hand’s right here right now.	我已经忍到这里了
[55:48]	Oh, my hand’s right there.	忍到这里了
[55:49]	You know what? I hate you right now.	我现在恨死你了
[55:51]	I’ve gotta write out a bunch of index cards	我要去写一沓谎言卡
[55:53]	just to keep up with these lies.	把我撒过的谎都记下来
[55:55]	Yeah, and you’re gonna make me copies, too. And one more thing.	帮我也弄一份 还有件事
[56:02]	Oh, my God, why are we leaving the hotel right now?	哎哟 我们为什么要走啊
[56:04]	Why did you wake me up?	为什么要把我叫醒
[56:06]	Because, grandpa,	老大爷
[56:07]	I signed us up for the all-day adventure tour.	因为我报名了全天探险之旅
[56:10]	We’re gonna go hiking in the rainforest, and kayaking down rivers	去热带雨林远足 划船
[56:13]	and swimming under waterfalls.	还在瀑布下游泳
[56:15]	Swimming. I hope you mean skinny-dipping.	游泳 希望你是说裸泳
[56:17]	I’m gonna suggest swimming.	我建议穿衣游
[56:19]	I, however, am fine with some man nudity, Danny.	但是 我很赞成裸体游 丹尼
[56:21]	Okay, so Swiss Family nightmare is coming with us.	怎么 全家出动吗
[56:25]	That’s so we can bond?	增进感情是吗
[56:27]	Oh, that’ll be great!	太好了
[56:33]	It’s bloody breathtaking out here!	这里简直是美不胜收
[56:35]	Is this where the blue Avatar people live?	阿凡达他们是不是就住这儿啊
[56:37]	Yeah, the blue Avatar people and I think that black pig.	对 那些蓝色的阿凡达们 那还有只黑猪
[56:42]	Look, how cute. Looks like Babe.	挺可爱的 像小猪宝贝[电影]
[56:45]	Oh, my God! Go, Go!	我的妈啊 快跑
[56:48]	Come on, go, go!	快 快
[56:53]	The pig is eating my body!	这猪要吃了我
[57:15]	Keep your eyes on the river, sweetheart.	专心划船 甜心
[57:18]	Yes. I was looking at the canyon.	遵命 我刚在看峡谷啦
[57:26]	Hey, what’re you guys doing?	你们在干什么
[57:28]	That bridge can only handle one person at a time!	这桥一次只能走一个人
[57:33]	Go, go, go!	快走 快走
[57:34]	What’d he say? What’d you say?	啊 他刚说什么
[57:40]	Holy Devlin!	太德芙琳了
[57:44]	Come on, let’s go.	快 快走
[57:46]	Piggyback times are magical times, aren’t they?	背着我感觉爽极了 是吧
[57:48]	Yeah, aren’t they? You’re warping my spine now.	可不是 我背酸死了
[57:53]	I think Kiki slipped.	琪琪滑了一跤
[57:57]	Oh, father, I just love spending time with you!	父亲大人 跟你在一起真愉快
[58:02]	Oh, my God!	天啊
[58:05]	You guys, look at this!	你们快看
[58:07]	– Oh, my God! – It’s lovely!	-我的天啊 -太美了
[58:09]	Wow! That is unbelievable.	太神奇了
[58:12]	I don’t know about you guys, but I am gonna go cool off.	不管你们几个想干什么 我要先去凉快凉快
[58:15]	Really? There could be black pigs in there.	是吗 里面可能有黑猪哦
[58:17]	I agree.	我也觉得
[58:19]	Look at that. That’s terrific.	看看 真惹火
[58:21]	Does the hotel know you took those pillows, honey?	酒店知道你把枕头带出来了吗 宝贝
[58:25]	She really wears that bikini well.	她穿这件比基尼真好看
[58:29]	You know what she’d wear well? Dental floss and a pirate hat.	你知道她还穿什么好看吗 牙线和海盗帽
[58:32]	– Don’t say that. – Absolutely gross.	-闭嘴啦 -太恶心了
[58:36]	– Oh, my God! Gorgeous! – Perfect.	-天啊 美翻了 -完美一跳
[58:39]	That was a ten! A perfect ten! Yay!	十分 绝对十分
[58:43]	So, Al Jolson, you mind jumping in the water	小明星 你想跳到水里
[58:45]	and also screaming on the way down, “I love my daddy”?	大喊 我爱我老爸吗
[58:48]	Okay.	当然
[58:50]	Yeah, do it, do it for me.	快跳 为老爸跳
[58:51]	– Do it for Da-da. – I love my daddy.	-为老豆 -我爱我老爸
[58:53]	Daddy is my favorite adult!	老爸是我的最爱
[58:56]	– You’re paying her enough for this, right? – Yep.	-你可得花了不少银子让她这么说吧 -那是
[58:58]	And I love you, my little British crumpet!	我也爱你 我的英国小妮子
[59:02]	All right, homeboy, you’re up next. Let’s go.	小子 该你了 上
[59:04]	Come up with something on your own.	跳的时候自己想台词
[59:07]	You gotta squeeze out another log?	又想敲我一笔吗
[59:09]	What happened? What’d he whisper to you?	怎么了 刚跟你说什么悄悄话
[59:11]	Water’s too deep.	水太深了
[59:13]	Water’s too deep for what?	水怎么深了
[59:14]	He can’t swim.	他不会游泳
[59:16]	He can’t swim?	他不会游泳?
[59:18]	And you wanna swim with the dolphins?	你想和海豚游泳
[59:21]	That makes a lot of sense.	太说得过去了
[59:23]	Hadn’t thought it through.	之前没想到
[59:25]	No kidding you didn’t think it through.	没想到? 你坑爹哪
[59:27]	Thought about spending all my money, though, didn’t you?	你想过这花了我多少钱吗
[59:29]	– Danny! – I’m saying, I’m not the kid’s dad.	-丹尼 -说说而已 又不真是他爸爸
[59:31]	Okay. No one taught you how to swim, huh?	没人教过你游是吗
[59:34]	Well, my dad’s supposed to, but he’s busy.	本该我爸爸教我 但他太忙了
[59:37]	Uh-huh. Busy being an idiot.	忙着当个混蛋
[59:51]	You guys have to come in, the water feels magical!	你们快来 这水太神奇了
[59:54]	I got something magical, too. Right in the downstairs area.	我也有这种神奇的感觉 我的下面
[59:58]	I don’t high-five when it’s…	我才不和你击掌
[1:00:00]	Downstairs area!	底下哦
[1:00:01]	– No, put it away. – No, stop.	-拿开 -别闹了
[1:00:03]	You know what? I think Mommy’s gonna explore the magical waters.	妈妈也要去感受神奇的瀑布了
[1:00:06]	Honey, are you okay to hang out here with fake Daddy?	宝贝 在这和假爸爸玩行吗
[1:00:08]	Sure.	行吧
[1:00:10]	Really? You’re gonna get undressed?	真的吗 你要脱衣服
[1:00:11]	What are you doing?	你在干什么
[1:00:12]	– What? – You got a bathing cap, too?	-什么 -你是不是还要戴上泳帽
[1:00:14]	You’re the worst.	你太坏了
[1:00:15]	A 1920s swimming gown on, honey?	1920年的游泳长袍吗
[1:00:19]	Don’t do it. Don’t take it off.	别啦 别脱
[1:00:35]	Yeah. I have to be alone.	我也去行动了
[1:00:37]	Okay.	行
[1:00:42]	God, I gotta start taking the stairs more.	我也要多爬会楼梯了
[1:00:44]	Don’t buy that lie.	别信她的
[1:00:45]	She takes spinning classes like they’re M&M’s.	我吃的巧克力豆还没她健身次数多
[1:00:54]	I think he’s wearing my underwear.	他穿的是我的内裤
[1:00:58]	What is he doing?	他在干什么
[1:01:00]	Yo, I guarantee you fall!	你肯定会掉下来
[1:01:02]	I’m all set.	才不会
[1:01:08]	Thank you, God.	老天开眼
[1:01:13]	I wanna climb Palmer Mountain,	今晚我要征服帕莫尔高峰
[1:01:14]	so what do you say we get rid of these kids?	独享二人世界怎么样
[1:01:16]	No. They had them last night. It’s our turn.	别啊 昨晚他们照顾的 该我们了
[1:01:19]	Isn’t that how things work? We alternate?	不是该这样吗 轮着带
[1:01:21]	What? No, no.	什么 不是啦
[1:01:23]	I get the kids… I had them today.	白天我带他们玩的
[1:01:26]	That counted as a “Me” Day	算我带了一天
[1:01:27]	and then she gets them at night.	晚上到她了
[1:01:28]	That’s how we do it.	是这么分配的
[1:01:30]	Dolph, Devlin, do you want us to watch the kids	道夫 德芙琳 你们想让我们照顾孩子
[1:01:32]	so that you guys can have a little alone time?	给自己留点私人空间吗
[1:01:35]	– I don’t think… – Yes! Absoshnutely!	-不用 -好 妙极了
[1:01:37]	We are sleeping together!	我们一起睡
[1:01:38]	You guys have your own beds and it’s our time!	你们俩跟他们睡 私人时间来了
[1:01:40]	– So we’re gonna watch them. – Good.	-换我们照顾 -好哦
[1:01:44]	You guys wanna come take a look at the balcony?	你们想去阳台看看吗
[1:01:46]	I think I saw some dolphins around here.	可以看到海豚哦
[1:01:47]	Dolphins? Hey, he loves those, right?	海豚啊 他爱海豚
[1:01:51]	Sorry. Okay, go.	不好意思 去吧
[1:01:52]	All right, let go. Come on.	来 过来
[1:01:53]	– Get the dolphins. – Bye, you guys.	-看海豚啦 -拜拜
[1:01:55]	That’s why we’re here, the dolphins.	好好看 专程来看的
[1:01:57]	See you out there.	回头见
[1:01:58]	Listen, if anything happens and you need any…	有什么事需要我
[1:02:00]	And I mean anything,	任何事
[1:02:01]	You know, you have to call me.	打我电话
[1:02:02]	I’m good at this, I swear to you.	放心好了 小菜一碟
[1:02:04]	I used to baby-sit Eddie when we were children.	小时候我就照顾过艾迪
[1:02:06]	– Eddie is your fault? – No, no, no.	-然后艾迪就成这样了 -不 当然不是
[1:02:09]	But I want you to enjoy tonight.	好好享受今晚
[1:02:11]	Come on, it’s like a free night.	自由自在的
[1:02:12]	You can do whatever you want.	想干嘛干嘛
[1:02:13]	You can knit yourself some socks	织点袜子
[1:02:15]	or shock people with your sneaky hot body.	用偷练的火辣身材吓吓别人
[1:02:17]	– I don’t know what you’re talking about. – Cary Grant?	-真不知道你在说什么 -卡里·格兰特
[1:02:19]	Listen, I’m just gonna sit in my room	我等会就回屋
[1:02:20]	and worry about you and them and everything.	希望你们别出岔子
[1:02:23]	What about just hang out platonically with Eddie tonight?	为什么不去和艾迪来点柏拉图式的散步
[1:02:26]	Have some dinner?	共进晚餐之类的
[1:02:27]	Or is he not good enough?	他不够好吗
[1:02:28]	You need Brian, the guy from Foghat, around here.	你还想着布莱恩 唱摇滚 还这样
[1:02:31]	That really bothered you	我和那家伙一起吃饭
[1:02:32]	that I went to lunch with that guy.	你还真的挺介意嘛
[1:02:34]	What do you mean, you went to lunch with him?	怎么 你和他一起吃了饭
[1:02:36]	I told you I was going to lunch with him.	我告诉过我要和他一起吃
[1:02:38]	I am. I thought it was he asked you to lunch	我以为他邀请你
[1:02:40]	and you were gonna like scoff at it.	你会让他吃闭门羹
[1:02:41]	But you did? You fell for his charms?	你还真去了 为这个倾倒吗
[1:02:44]	I don’t even understand what this is.	我根本不知道这是什么意思
[1:02:47]	It’s the beard, man.	胡子啊
[1:02:48]	It doesn’t move!	根本不会动
[1:02:50]	Well, yeah, in the wind, man. It’s flapping around.	当然会 在风中 摆得可欢了
[1:02:52]	All right. You know what? I’ll tell you this.	行 告诉你
[1:02:54]	The guy made it through an entire lunch with a woman	那家伙和我吃了整顿午餐
[1:02:57]	without making up a fake life.	不用编造人生
[1:03:00]	You just hurt me.	我受伤了
[1:03:02]	That was not nice, but it was the truth.	话不好听 但句句属实
[1:03:05]	And I speak the truth.	我只是说了实话
[1:03:07]	Please pay attention to my children.	照顾好我小孩
[1:03:09]	Everything will be nice.	没问题
[1:03:10]	They serve room service in the hallway.	走廊里有客房服务
[1:03:13]	I’m so nauseous. Okay. Bye.	我太烦人了 行了 再见
[1:03:19]	Alone at last!	终于剩我们俩
[1:03:25]	Let’s play the game.	来玩游戏
[1:03:27]	We were doing so good with the game.	以前我们经常玩的
[1:03:30]	“If you could be one person besides yourself,	你想当谁
[1:03:34]	Who would you be?”	除了自己
[1:03:36]	Rachael Ray,	雷恰尔·雷[知名厨师]
[1:03:38]	because I’ve always wanted to know how to cook.	因为我想学做菜
[1:03:39]	– Really? Oh, she’s darling.	-真的吗 -她太可爱了
[1:03:41]	You know what? I don’t really wanna be anyone else.	我不想成为其他人
[1:03:44]	I’m happy with who I am. I choose me.	我自己这样挺好 我选自己
[1:03:47]	Or Captain Kirk. Either one.	或者科克船长[星际迷航]
[1:03:49]	– See, that’s a good one. – All right.	-那个很棒 -对啊
[1:03:51]	What about you, Bart?	你呢 巴特
[1:03:53]	Mr. DeCesare.	德西萨雷先生
[1:03:55]	Our mailman? Why?	我们的邮差 为什么
[1:03:58]	He just seems like he’s got it all figured out.	我觉得他已经看破红尘
[1:04:02]	We’re getting deep.	气氛有点沉重了啊
[1:04:04]	Okay, moving on. Uh…	好 继续
[1:04:07]	Okay. “Name something that makes you sad.”	好 说一件让你伤心的事
[1:04:12]	That Judi Dench has never won the Oscar for Best Actress.	朱迪·丹奇从没获奥斯卡女主角
[1:04:17]	It’s a travesty.	太悲剧了
[1:04:20]	That ‘N Sync broke up.	超级男孩乐团解散了
[1:04:24]	Yeah. That was rough on all of us.	是啊 大家都不好受
[1:04:26]	Who’s ‘N Sync?	超级男孩是谁
[1:04:29]	Sadness. Bart, you’re up.	悲伤 该你了
[1:04:33]	I don’t wanna say mine.	我不想说我的
[1:04:35]	Okay. Let’s move on then.	那好吧 下一题
[1:04:38]	Honey, come on. You can share anything with us.	宝贝 你可以和我们分享任何事
[1:04:40]	Yeah, share.	来 分享吧
[1:04:41]	He looks like he’s about to lose it, but okay.	我感觉他要哭了 你确定吗
[1:04:44]	When my dad doesn’t have time for me.	我爸爸没时间陪我
[1:04:48]	Come on, it’s okay.	没关系
[1:04:50]	We’re okay. We’re okay. It’s fine.	我们挺好的 没关系
[1:04:53]	It’s all gonna be okay. Come on.	一切都会好的
[1:04:56]	We don’t need him in our lives.	我们不需要他
[1:04:59]	No, no, no, he’s…	不 不 不是这样
[1:05:01]	We’re okay. It’s fine.	别哭别哭
[1:05:02]	It’s all gonna be okay.	会好的
[1:05:04]	This has nothing to…	不是这样的
[1:05:06]	This is, like, from a long time ago!	很久之前的事了
[1:05:10]	It’s okay.	别哭了
[1:05:13]	What are you doing?	你说了什么
[1:05:15]	Well, that was a major setback.	这下扣了不少分
[1:05:17]	“When my dad doesn’t have time for me.”	“我爸爸没时间陪我”
[1:05:21]	We’re sorry.	对不起
[1:05:22]	I know you’re sorry.	我知道
[1:05:23]	I know you got real stuff going on with your family.	我知道你们家有点小问题
[1:05:25]	And it’s painful.	很糟糕
[1:05:26]	But you gotta just hold it in	但也得等回去之后
[1:05:28]	till you get to the mainland again.	再难过
[1:05:30]	You’re the ones who wanted to come here	是你们说要来这里
[1:05:31]	and go swimming with the dolphins	和海豚游泳的
[1:05:33]	or standing with the dolphins because you can’t swim.	结果你也不会游 只能站着看海豚
[1:05:35]	– Can you act professional? – Yes, sir.	-能专业点吗 -遵命
[1:05:37]	For at least two more days, until I kill you off	在我让你去英国寄宿 被火车撞死之前
[1:05:39]	in a boarding school train accident?	再撑两天
[1:05:42]	I thought it was a car accident.	我以为是汽车车祸
[1:05:44]	I don’t know.	管他的
[1:05:44]	Either that or a science explosion, just something.	被这个或被科学爆炸实验炸死
[1:05:46]	You’re gonna be dead soon. That’s the good news. Okay?	你们马上就解放了 好吗
[1:05:48]	So, can you just focus for a few more days?	再好好干几天
[1:05:50]	– Yes. – Good.	-好的 -不错
[1:05:52]	So, give me some fake hugs right now and laugh real loud	快假装抱着我 使命笑
[1:05:55]	like we’re the happiest family on earth.	想象我们是世界上最开心的家庭
[1:05:56]	– Okay. – Is that possible?	-好的 -可以吗
[1:05:58]	And laughing, laughing, laughing.	笑 快笑
[1:06:00]	Okay, that’s it. Laugh louder, louder.	就像这样 大声点
[1:06:05]	I love you guys!	我爱你们
[1:06:07]	Hey, sweetie! What’s going on? What’s up?	宝贝 怎么了
[1:06:09]	So, kids, I just got off the phone with your mom	孩子们 我刚打电话给你们妈妈
[1:06:13]	and you guys are gonna have plenty of time	明天你们有足够的时间
[1:06:15]	to spend with your dad tomorrow	和老爸在一起
[1:06:17]	because she and I are gonna have a nice, long spa day.	因为我和她要去做整天的温泉水疗
[1:06:21]	Awesome! Awesome, awesome.	太好了 太好了
[1:06:24]	You guys are so…	你们太
[1:06:26]	I’ll see you in a minute, okay? I love you.	我等会过来 爱你
[1:06:32]	– Okay, he’s losing it. – Okay, good night.	-好了 他要发飚了 -晚安
[1:06:34]	He’s losing it.	他要发飚了
[1:06:36]	All right, here we go. Everybody out.	好了 都下来
[1:06:41]	So, what are we doing?	我们要干什么
[1:06:42]	Palmer forgot her camera in the room	帕莫尔出去忘带相机了
[1:06:45]	so I’m gonna have a surprise for her	等她做完水疗回来
[1:06:46]	when she gets back from the spa.	我想给她个惊喜
[1:06:48]	A stolen camera?	你偷了她相机
[1:06:49]	No, some pictures of us having a great time	不 照些我们玩的照片
[1:06:52]	reassuring her of all the fun we have together.	让她知道我们玩得多开心
[1:06:56]	I forgot to flush the toilet before I left the hotel.	出门前我忘了冲厕所
[1:06:59]	So she’s gonna have two surprises.	她现在有两个惊喜了
[1:07:01]	Okay. No one’s supposed to crap as much as you do.	当然 没人拉得比你多
[1:07:04]	You gotta look into that Pepto Bismol or something.	改天去开点肠胃药
[1:07:06]	Here’s your putters. Bing.	球杆 你一支
[1:07:09]	– And a bam. – Thank you.	-她一支 -谢谢
[1:07:10]	Let’s just look right in the camera. And we’re having fun.	看着镜头 高兴点
[1:07:13]	And we’re a family. We love each other.	我们是一家人 相亲相爱
[1:07:16]	And boo!	笑
[1:07:17]	All right, let’s do the old Michael-hit-a-putt shot. Okay?	好 这次假装迈克尔进球了
[1:07:20]	So boom, that’s in the hole.	啪 进洞了
[1:07:22]	And you’re excited about that,	你很兴奋
[1:07:23]	and we’re happy for him, and…	真为他高兴
[1:07:27]	Maggie just hit the ball, but you followed through too much	麦姬击球 但用力过猛
[1:07:29]	and it made you fall on your back.	自己摔了一跤
[1:07:30]	Okay, but… Look at this.	好 继续
[1:07:32]	You’re laughing, but I’m a concerned father, so I’m like,	你笑她 但我太关心孩子 所以我大叫
[1:07:34]	“Oh, my God.”	天啊 没事吧
[1:07:36]	All right, now,	好 这次
[1:07:38]	let’s just laugh at something I say, because I’m a funny dad.	我说了个笑话让你们笑死了 因为我是个幽默的爸爸
[1:07:40]	You’re very close with me, and you think I’m funny, and…	你靠着我站 你觉得我很好笑 然后
[1:07:42]	Why are we always laughing?	为什么我们总在笑
[1:07:44]	Is there something wrong with us?	我们有毛病吗
[1:07:45]	No. You’re just amused by everything I say. So, here we go.	不 你被我逗乐了 快
[1:07:48]	Can we take a break? Do something really fun?	能歇会吗 玩点真正好玩的
[1:07:51]	No, we’re not doing anything fun, man.	我们不是在玩
[1:07:52]	We’re here to fake having fun.	我们是假装很好玩
[1:07:54]	Come on. Right to the camera.	来 对着镜头
[1:07:55]	Don’t worry. We never have fun with our real dad either.	算了 反正跟真正爸爸也没开心过
[1:08:01]	All right. How’s this?	好 要不这样
[1:08:04]	I’ll teach you how to swim, okay?	我教你游泳 好吗
[1:08:05]	Before your mother gets back	在你妈做完四个小时的
[1:08:07]	from the “Spa day” in four hours?	温泉水疗 之前
[1:08:10]	– Is that even possible? – Yeah.	-有可能吗 -当然
[1:08:11]	But we’re gonna take one more picture, if you don’t mind.	但还要再照一张 坚持下
[1:08:13]	Make that two pictures. Maggie.	两张 麦姬
[1:08:17]	Throw this straight in the air. Make it look like…	把这举着 像是要把它扔上天
[1:08:18]	On the count of three, one, two, three.	数三下 一 二 三
[1:08:20]	Okay.	行了
[1:08:21]	Now, Michael, lay down.	换你 迈克尔 躺下
[1:08:24]	On your back. And…	放你后面
[1:08:26]	Yeah, all the way over. See if you can clench this.	整个躺下 夹着这个
[1:08:28]	Now look like you’re in pain.	假装很痛
[1:08:35]	It took my friend a whole summer to learn how to swim.	我朋友学游泳学了整个夏天
[1:08:38]	How’re you gonna teach me so quick?	你怎么能让我这么快学会
[1:08:39]	I’m gonna do it the same way my grandfather taught me.	照以前我爷爷教我的方法
[1:08:46]	Don’t worry.	别担心
[1:08:47]	It took Grandpa eight hours to teach us.	爷爷花了八个小时教会我们
[1:08:49]	It was a nightmare.	像个噩梦
[1:08:51]	But there’s two of us here now, and we’re sober.	现在我们俩都在 也没喝酒
[1:08:53]	You’re gonna be fine.	你不会有事
[1:08:55]	All right. You’re doing great.	你做得不错
[1:08:57]	– Is he doing great? – He’s doing great.	-他做得不错吧 -很不错
[1:08:59]	Okay. We want to advance a little, though.	下面加大难度
[1:09:00]	I need you to swim to Uncle Eddie.	游到艾迪叔叔那里
[1:09:02]	If you get there without touching the bottom,	如果你游到那 没有沉下去
[1:09:04]	we’ll give you a dolphin cookie.	就给你一个海豚饼干
[1:09:08]	Is that what your grandpa gave you?	你爷爷也是给你这个吗
[1:09:10]	No, Grandpa gave us something he’d call a Heineken.	不是 我爷爷给的是喜力[啤酒]
[1:09:12]	I want one of those.	我也要那个
[1:09:14]	No. Stick with the dolphin cookie.	不行 我们还是吃海豚饼干吧
[1:09:15]	Yeah. They hurt less when they get thrown at your head.	是啊 这东西砸你头上也不会痛
[1:09:18]	God, he was a sick man.	天 那个老混蛋
[1:09:19]	Yeah. Okay? Are we ready?	好了 准备好了吗
[1:09:22]	Don’t think about it. Commit. Kick, kick.	别多想 上 注意踢腿
[1:09:23]	Get the cookie. Move your feet.	饼干在这 快过来
[1:09:27]	Kick, kick!	踢腿 使劲
[1:09:28]	Right there! Reach for it! You got it!	加油 你办得到
[1:09:30]	Doing good, buddy!	干得好 伙计
[1:09:33]	There you go!	你做到啦
[1:09:35]	My boy! That was terrific, buddy.	儿子 你干得太棒了
[1:09:37]	Have your cookie. We’re gonna move on, though.	吃完了 咱们再继续
[1:09:39]	Devlin?	德芙琳
[1:09:42]	– Devlin? – Yeah?	-德芙琳 -啊
[1:09:44]	So, Danny’s birthday is next week,	是这样的 下星期就是丹尼的生日
[1:09:46]	and I have no idea what to get him.	我还不知道该送他点什么
[1:09:51]	Well, don’t get him a tie.	千万别送他领带
[1:09:52]	He has 100 of them and he never wears them.	他有一大堆 却从来不戴
[1:09:55]	That’s good to know.	谢谢提醒
[1:09:56]	He loves books on tape for his car.	他喜欢在车里听书
[1:09:58]	Fishing gear.	喜欢渔具
[1:10:00]	Loves it. Doesn’t use it.	但只是喜欢 却从来不用
[1:10:02]	Can’t take the fish off of the hook	连把鱼从钩子上摘下来都不会
[1:10:04]	once he catches it, so he just collects it.	所以他只是喜欢收藏那些东西
[1:10:06]	He loves candy. Jelly Bellies. Loves them, his favorite.	爱吃糖 尤其是果冻 他最喜欢了
[1:10:10]	But he only likes the Cotton Candy and the Peanut Butter.	但只喜欢棉花糖和花生酱这两种口味
[1:10:12]	So you have to buy the bag of the Jelly Bellies,	所以你可以去买一大袋子
[1:10:14]	separate the Cotton Candy and the Peanut Butter	然后将这两种口味的果冻
[1:10:16]	and put them into a little…	分别装在密封塑料袋里
[1:10:17]	It’s a kind of Ziploc baggies that I got online.	这种袋子可以在网上买到
[1:10:19]	You know so much about him.	你真的很了解他
[1:10:22]	Yeah.	是啊
[1:10:24]	I’ve known the guy forever.	我认识他很久很久了
[1:10:28]	Music. Loves music.	音乐 也热爱音乐
[1:10:30]	But anything after ’95, don’t bother.	但是95年以后的就算了
[1:10:32]	You’ll lose him.	他听不来
[1:10:34]	That’s when I finished my Girl Scouts.	那时候我才从童子军毕业
[1:10:38]	All right. How many cookies do we got left?	好了 我们还剩多少块饼干
[1:10:41]	Maybe about forty!	大概还40块
[1:10:42]	What do you think, 40 feet for 40 cookies?	游40英尺吃40块饼干 你觉得怎样
[1:10:45]	Can you handle that? You need a little rest?	你能做到吗 要不休息一下
[1:10:46]	Let’s do this.	没问题
[1:10:48]	Really? Okay, he’s ready! He’s ready to rock!	真的吗 好的 他准备好了
[1:10:51]	Almost.	还没
[1:10:52]	What? No.	什么 不
[1:10:54]	Oh, my! Ladies and gentlemen, off come the floaties!	先生们女士们 他摘掉充气圈了
[1:10:58]	This is getting serious!	他来真格的了
[1:11:00]	Are you sure about this, Michael?	你确定要这么干吗 迈克尔
[1:11:01]	Hell, yeah. All right.	是的 没错
[1:11:03]	No matter what, you’re a good man, okay?	无论怎样 你都是好样的 对吧
[1:11:05]	Keep kicking. I’m here if you need me.	用力踢腿 我就在你旁边
[1:11:07]	You got this.	来吧
[1:11:08]	Go! Go, Michael!	加油 迈克尔
[1:11:10]	Go! Breathe! Yeah!	加油 注意呼吸
[1:11:12]	Kick it! Go!	用力 加油
[1:11:13]	Move your arms! Yeah!	使劲划
[1:11:16]	He doesn’t have floaties on!	他可没带充气圈
[1:11:18]	Oh, my God!	天啊
[1:11:20]	Get the cookies!	朝着饼干前进
[1:11:21]	Come on, sweetheart! You’ve got it!	加油 甜心 你快成功了
[1:11:23]	A little bit more, little bit more.	就差一点了 一点
[1:11:27]	– Swim! Swim! – Oh, my God!	-游起来 -天啊
[1:11:29]	Come on! Just a little bit more!	加油 就一点了
[1:11:32]	Keep going, Michael! Don’t give up!	保持住 迈克尔 别放弃
[1:11:40]	Very nice!	太棒了
[1:11:41]	That’s my boy! Yeah, buddy!	这才是我儿子
[1:11:44]	I did it! I did it! Thank you!	我做到了 做到了 谢谢
[1:11:48]	No way, that was you, buddy.	全在你的努力 伙计
[1:11:49]	That was awesome. Way to go!	真让人佩服 做得真棒
[1:12:00]	What are we looking at?	你们在看什么
[1:12:02]	Jeez. Oh, God. Devlin.	天 德芙琳
[1:12:05]	Devlin. Oh, God. You snuck up on me.	德芙琳 天 你背后偷袭我
[1:12:08]	– Did I? Oh… – Yes.	-我有吗 -是的
[1:12:10]	Do you startle easily?	有那么容易被吓到吗
[1:12:11]	That’s a sign of menopause.	这可是更年期的前兆啊
[1:12:14]	Devlin?	德芙琳
[1:12:15]	Palmer Dodge, this is Devlin.	帕莫尔·道奇 这位是德芙琳
[1:12:18]	She and I went to college together.	她是我大学同学
[1:12:20]	– This is Palmer Dodge. – Aloha, Palmer.	-这位是帕莫尔·道奇 -喂 帕莫尔
[1:12:23]	Is this your daughter?	这是你的女儿
[1:12:26]	No, no, no. I’m actually the girlfriend.	不 不 我其实是他的女友
[1:12:29]	Whose girlfriend?	谁的女朋友
[1:12:30]	Yes, hi.	你好
[1:12:32]	I am the Dolph. Willkommen. And you’re very beautiful.	我是道夫 欢迎 你真是漂亮
[1:12:36]	Married, flattered. Thanks.	我已经结婚了 少来这套 谢谢
[1:12:37]	Where’s Danny?	丹尼在哪
[1:12:38]	Danny is in the water teaching our little boy how to swim.	丹尼在池子里教儿子游泳呢
[1:12:42]	Hi, Doctor!	你好 医生
[1:12:44]	He was so sweet.	他可真温柔
[1:12:45]	You know what’s so crazy is that I have never met anybody	这名字可真奇怪 我从没听过
[1:12:47]	with the first name Devlin before.	有人叫德芙琳
[1:12:49]	You know, and here you are, and your name’s Devlin and…	而你突然出现 还叫德芙琳而且…
[1:12:52]	Shark attack!	鲨鱼攻击
[1:12:54]	We are playing Bavarian pool rugby and now I’m in the lead.	我们正在玩水中橄榄球 而现在我领先了
[1:12:57]	Okay, bye!	明白 拜拜
[1:13:00]	She’s trying to beat me, but she won’t.	想打败我 没戏
[1:13:03]	No one can!	没人能赢我
[1:13:05]	This is fun!	太有意思啦
[1:13:06]	Anyway, something’s opened up in our schedule tonight.	另外 今晚我们正好有空
[1:13:09]	So, we were wondering if you and Danny	所以我们很希望能和你跟丹尼
[1:13:10]	were good to go for dinner.	一起吃顿晚餐
[1:13:12]	– Oceano’s. Seven o’clock. – Oh, no…	-海洋餐厅 晚上七点 -不
[1:13:14]	Oh, no, you don’t!	不 别起来
[1:13:15]	She’s like a shark. Come on.	她就像条鲨鱼 来啊
[1:13:18]	Is it a bad night? Are you two fighting?	今晚不合适吗 你们吵架了
[1:13:19]	No! We’re not fighting.	没 我们没吵架
[1:13:21]	No, we just, we’re delighting. We’re just fine.	我们很开心 不错
[1:13:23]	No, that’s great. Tonight’s gonna happen. Yeah, perfect.	好主意 就今天晚上吧
[1:13:26]	Perfect. Anyway, see you tonight!	好的 晚上见
[1:13:28]	Okay, Devlin.	好的 德芙琳
[1:13:29]	Oh, my God! Dolph, let her breathe!	老天 道夫赶紧松手
[1:13:32]	Yes, I…	是 我…
[1:13:34]	– Dolph! – What?	-道夫 -什么
[1:13:35]	What was that?	怎么了
[1:13:38]	I was… Were you under…	我… 你在水里…
[1:13:42]	I don’t understand. Why would you say yes?	我不明白 你为什么要答应她
[1:13:44]	Because I didn’t know, I didn’t say no.	我也傻了 我拒绝不了她
[1:13:47]	I’m not leaving here. What would I tell Palmer?	我离不开这里 我怎么跟帕莫尔解释
[1:13:57]	What’s going on, sweetie?	怎么了 宝贝
[1:13:59]	So, today, you know, with Dolph pushing me in the pool.	今天道夫把我推进池子里
[1:14:03]	It was weird, right?	真奇怪 是吧
[1:14:05]	No, no, no. He’s a sheepherder.	不 不 他是个牧羊人
[1:14:06]	That’s what those guys do, you know?	这伙人都这样
[1:14:08]	They do a lot of horseplay	他们经常恶作剧
[1:14:10]	and that’s kind of initiation time for you.	这是他们与你的亲密方式
[1:14:12]	You’re in the gang, I think.	我觉得你现在跟他们是一伙了
[1:14:14]	Okay. Yeah.	是这样 好吧
[1:14:17]	Well, I was thinking for tonight,	我想今晚咱们是不是
[1:14:19]	maybe we could have a little me and you time?	该享受一下属于两人的时光了
[1:14:26]	I’ll get my rubber duck and see you in a sec.	等我拿上橡皮小鸭就去找你
[1:14:29]	Yeah, no, I’m not doing this tonight.	没戏了 我晚上绝不出去
[1:14:32]	It’s like my first night alone with the girl.	今晚可是我的初夜
[1:14:34]	All I’m asking you is one favor!	我就要求你这么一次
[1:14:36]	Just get this one dinner with me so I can save face	跟我来吃顿饭
[1:14:40]	with this horrible, heinous human being.	别让我在那个烂人面前丢脸
[1:14:42]	What am I gonna tell Palmer?	我怎么跟帕莫尔解释
[1:14:44]	Would you just put her on the phone?	你让她接电话
[1:14:50]	Oh, God.	老天
[1:14:51]	Tell me she is not listening to ‘N Sync.	别告诉我她在听超级男孩
[1:14:53]	No, no, no. It’s coming from the elevator.	不是 是电梯里传来的声音
[1:14:57]	Danny, that is my jam.	丹尼 这是我的最爱
[1:15:00]	Someone on the phone for you.	有人给你来电话
[1:15:02]	– I don’t know who. – Okay.	-我不知道是谁 -好吧
[1:15:04]	Hello?	喂
[1:15:06]	What is that?	怎么回事
[1:15:07]	– It’s Palmer. – So?	-是帕莫尔 -怎么了
[1:15:08]	I need you to get on the phone. I need you to ask her out.	我要你接电话 带她出去
[1:15:10]	I need you to take her as	越远越好
[1:15:11]	far away from the hotel for the entire night.	一晚上都别回来
[1:15:12]	Would you please just do this for me?	求你了 帮我个忙
[1:15:13]	No, I’m already eating. I just wanna hang out. Ow!	不 我正在吃东西 一会还想出去逛逛
[1:15:16]	– Seriously, I need you. – What are you doing? No.	– 认真点 你得帮我 -你在做什么 不
[1:15:18]	Ow! My gosh.	老天
[1:15:19]	– Take it. -All right.	-拿着 -好吧
[1:15:22]	Go for Dolph.	我是道夫
[1:15:24]	It’s Dolph.	是道夫
[1:15:25]	Okay, I got an idea.	对了 我有个想法
[1:15:26]	How about you and me,	今晚咱俩出去
[1:15:28]	we go and get the dinner tonight?	吃顿饭怎么样
[1:15:31]	To supper?	吃晚餐
[1:15:32]	Tonight?	今晚
[1:15:34]	Yes, and we get to know each other,	对 让咱俩相互了解下
[1:15:35]	because I think it’s important for the kids	因为这对孩子们有一个好的
[1:15:37]	to have good symmetry in the family unit.	家庭和睦观念很重要
[1:15:41]	Yeah, hang on. Let me check with Danny.	好吧 等下 我问问丹尼
[1:15:43]	Dolph wants to do dinner tonight.	道夫晚上想约我出去吃饭
[1:15:45]	No. No, no, no.	不 不 不 不
[1:15:47]	All right, tell him yeah.	好吧 算了 你去吧
[1:15:50]	Yeah, that’s fine.	好 好吧
[1:15:52]	Awesome. Thank you so much.	太感谢了
[1:15:55]	What am I supposed to say to her all night?	整晚上我都该跟她说什么
[1:15:57]	You spout crazy nonsense for hours in Eurotrashenese.	你平常都能跟不认识的人侃上好几个小时
[1:16:01]	Just do it, but just do it far away from the hotel.	随便你怎么弄 只要越远越好
[1:16:05]	Okay, fine, I’ll do it,	行 好吧 我答应你
[1:16:06]	but if I do good, can I sleep in the bed with you?	但如果我表现得好 我能睡床上吗
[1:16:09]	No. Why? You’ve got a great private room.	不行 为什么 你已经有不错的卧室了
[1:16:25]	Hmm, really? Because when we were in the Napa Valley,	真的吗 我们到纳帕谷时
[1:16:27]	they said that wasn’t a good time of year for Merlot.	他们说现在不是喝梅乐酒的好时候
[1:16:30]	Oh. How about the Verite Cabernet?	那解百纳红酒怎么样
[1:16:34]	Isn’t Cabernet really grapey?	解百纳的葡萄味重吗
[1:16:35]	I mean, I like grapey, but not overly grapey.	我喜欢葡萄酒 但不喜欢味道太重的
[1:16:38]	Did you go over the index cards?	咱们的谎话你都背齐了吗
[1:16:40]	I glanced at them, yes.	我看了一眼
[1:16:42]	You glanced at them?	你就看了一眼
[1:16:43]	I graduated med school	我没怎么看书都能
[1:16:45]	without reading a book. Just relax.	从医学院毕业 放心吧
[1:16:47]	Just give us the most expensive bottle you have	直接拿出你们这里最贵的就行了
[1:16:49]	and it’ll probably be good enough.	这就应该差不多了
[1:16:51]	Perfect!	说的对
[1:16:53]	Look at us, Katherine. Both so happily married. I mean…	看看咱们 凯瑟琳 都有一个幸福的婚姻
[1:16:57]	Can you believe it?	你能相信吗
[1:16:59]	Everything I always hoped for, right, Yogi?	我总能得偿所愿 对吧 我的瑜伽熊
[1:17:03]	My Yogi Bear. My Boo-Boo.	小熊熊 小布布
[1:17:07]	Never enough.	受不了
[1:17:22]	Hold on a second.	等一下
[1:17:24]	I love the way you smell.	我喜爱你身上的味道
[1:17:27]	Nothing smells as good as Devlin.	没有比德芙琳更好闻的了
[1:17:30]	Smelling Devlin, always a good thing.	香喷喷的德芙琳 一直是抢手货
[1:17:39]	This is really where we’re eating?	这真的是我们要吃饭的地方吗
[1:17:41]	Oh, yes. No, the hotel says	没错 旅馆人说的
[1:17:42]	it’s amazing und very far away.	这非常棒 就是有些远
[1:17:45]	Yeah, it’s good.	还不错
[1:17:45]	Hey. I want that car.	我想要这辆车
[1:17:48]	I’ll give you two chickens for it.	用两只鸡跟你换
[1:17:50]	Two chickens, that’s very nice of you, but…	两只鸡 你真能说 但是…
[1:17:52]	Don’t be scared.	别担心
[1:17:53]	We’re just here for dinner.	我们到这是来吃饭的
[1:17:54]	Also, this car’s worth about 10,000 chickens.	另外 这车值一万只鸡
[1:17:58]	Don’t pour over me.	别越过我倒酒
[1:17:59]	Don’t pour over me.	小心倒我身上
[1:18:02]	I’ll bring my glass to you.	我会把杯子递给你
[1:18:04]	– So, Danny, you’re a plastic surgeon. – Yes.	-那么丹尼 你是个整形医生 -是的
[1:18:08]	Very convenient for you, Katherine.	凯瑟琳 你这回可方便了
[1:18:10]	No, this girl’s had nothing done.	不 她没做过
[1:18:12]	She’s just a natural beauty.	她是个天然美女
[1:18:13]	– She really is. – Sweetie.	-真的是 -真贴心
[1:18:14]	What about me? What would you do to fix me?	我呢 你有什么建议
[1:18:18]	Professionally speaking?	专业的回答吗
[1:18:19]	Nothing. I wouldn’t do a thing to you.	不用 你也没什么地方好修整的
[1:18:21]	Nothing?	没有吗
[1:18:22]	You’re too sweet.	你说得真甜
[1:18:24]	I mean, they already took too much fat out of your arms,	我是说 你的胳膊已经抽过好多脂了
[1:18:26]	but that’s what sleeves are for.	但是要注意用袖子遮下
[1:18:29]	So, where did you two meet?	那么 你们是在哪相遇的
[1:18:32]	We just, we met at a concert.	我 我们在演唱会
[1:18:35]	Sting. Yeah.	斯汀演唱会
[1:18:36]	Live at the Index Card.	还能记得那些卡片呢
[1:18:38]	It was a benefit for the rainforest.	是为热带雨林慈善募捐
[1:18:43]	Someone’s on the phone for you.	有人给你来电
[1:18:45]	I think it’s the guy from The Omen.	我想是电影”天魔”里那家伙打来的
[1:18:49]	Go for the iMan.	我是iMan
[1:18:52]	Hold on a second.	等下
[1:18:53]	Can I say something before you say what you’re gonna say?	我能插一句吗
[1:18:56]	Seeing the man who invented the iPod, on the iPhone,	看着这个发明iPod的男人 用着iPhone
[1:18:59]	saying, “Go for the iMan…” Yeah.	说”我是iMan”
[1:19:02]	…that was like watching Ronald McDonald	就像看麦当劳大叔
[1:19:04]	eat a cheeseburger off the Grimace.	吃了个奶昔大哥做的芝士汉堡
[1:19:06]	– I’m serious. That was serious stuff. – It’s so true.	-我很认真的 太有意思了 -没错
[1:19:08]		科沃科恩生前多次帮助别人自杀 支持安乐死 90年被判刑最后死在监狱中
[1:19:08]	That, to me, was like watching Dr. Kevorkian kill himself.	对我来说 就好像看科沃科恩医生自杀一样
[1:19:13]	I’m sorry. This is one of my foundations.	失陪 这是基金会的来电
[1:19:16]	I’ve gotta take this.	我得去接下
[1:19:18]	Your virtue, your intelligence, your passion.	爱你的美德智慧和激情
[1:19:21]	Your beauty, your drive, and your womanhood.	爱你的美丽魅力和女人味
[1:19:32]	It’s something we do whenever the other leaves.	有人要离开 我们就这么做
[1:19:35]	We say what we love most about the other.	说出最爱对方的地方
[1:19:37]	– That’s really nice. – That’s big. I like that.	-真是美妙 -不错 我喜欢
[1:19:39]	You guys should try it.	你们也应该试试
[1:19:40]	– Yes, we should. – We should. We’ll try that later.	-是 应该 -我们会的 过会我们就试试
[1:19:43]	– We have to. – Not everyone can do it.	-我们会的 -不是每个人都能做到
[1:19:45]	We’ll do it now.	我们现在就来
[1:19:47]	– Right now. – Okay.	-就现在 -好吧
[1:19:49]	So, broke and penniless,	所以又破又穷
[1:19:51]	I took to the streets to sell my wares.	我只能上街卖艺
[1:19:54]	And by wares, I mean my body.	其实卖艺就是卖身
[1:19:57]	And by body, I mean my schnitzel.	卖身就是卖肉
[1:20:01]	Help! Is there a veterinarian in the house?	帮忙 这里有兽医吗
[1:20:03]	My pet sheep, he passed out. He’s not breathing!	我的宠物羊快死了 它喘不了气了
[1:20:05]	I don’t know what’s wrong with him!	我不知道它怎么了
[1:20:07]	Him! Him! He’s not a vet, but he sells sheep for a living.	他 虽然不是兽医 但他以卖羊为生
[1:20:12]	Oh, me, yes.	我 啊 是的
[1:20:13]	I do, yes. I am that.	啊对 是的 我是卖羊的
[1:20:16]	Please come this way!	请过来
[1:20:17]	– Now? – Yes!	-现在 -是的
[1:20:18]	This way, this way!	这边 这边
[1:20:20]	What is this?	这是什么
[1:20:21]	Is that a real sheep?	那就是羊了吗
[1:20:26]	Okay.	好吧
[1:20:28]	Yes, um…	我看看
[1:20:30]	Hello…	你好
[1:20:32]	Yes?	有反应吗
[1:20:36]	Yes, in my expert opinion, that sheep is dead.	以我专业的判断 这羊已经死了
[1:20:39]	I’m very sorry.	我很遗憾
[1:20:41]	Let’s go eat. Okay, show’s over. Let’s go.	咱们吃饭去吧 演出结束了
[1:20:44]	Oh! He’s still alive!	它还活着
[1:20:45]	Please, you have to do something!	求求你 做点什么
[1:20:47]	Oh, shit on me.	真倒霉
[1:20:49]	You look each other in the eyes	你们深情对望
[1:20:51]	and you say what you love about the other. Mmm-hmm.	然后说出你对他的爱
[1:20:54]	We can’t just say it? We gotta look at each other for this thing?	我们不一定要说吧 看着对方就行了
[1:20:57]	Okay. Yes. We’re so ready.	我们准备好了
[1:20:59]	Are you ready?	准备好了吗
[1:21:01]	Go ahead.	来吧
[1:21:02]	– You’re on. – Okay.	-你先来 -好
[1:21:04]	Come on.	加油
[1:21:12]	I love your sense of humor.	我爱你的幽默感
[1:21:13]	You do?	是吗
[1:21:16]	All of it?	全都喜欢吗
[1:21:17]	Every dirty bit of it.	一点一滴都爱
[1:21:21]	I love your, uh, stories.	我喜爱你的…你的故事
[1:21:24]	– Yes. They can go long, but… – It’s okay.	-是啊 虽然有点长 但是 -没问题
[1:21:26]	…I try to finish strong. Always entertaining.	我会编完的 肯定非常有趣
[1:21:30]	And I love that you…	我还喜欢你…
[1:21:32]	Love that you read the index cards.	为我认真读了那些卡片
[1:21:36]	Of course.	当然
[1:21:39]	And I love that you secretly	我爱你那颗掩藏的
[1:21:42]	have a huge heart,	大大的爱心
[1:21:46]	and it’s just filled with kindness	充满慈悲宽容
[1:21:52]	and humility.	和谦逊
[1:21:55]	And blood?	还有血
[1:21:56]	I’m sure there’s blood.	当然还有血
[1:22:02]	I don’t know, I…	我不知道 我…
[1:22:05]	I just think you’re a really nice person and I really like…	我就是觉得你非常好 就是喜欢…
[1:22:12]	I really love spending time with you.	喜欢跟你待在一起
[1:22:15]	That’s good enough for me right there.	对我来说 这听起来真棒
[1:22:17]	Yeah, game over.	不过游戏结束了
[1:22:20]	Danny?	丹尼
[1:22:21]	Game back on? We gotta…	还要继续吗
[1:22:25]	Well, I’d like to start off by saying	我开始了
[1:22:28]	that I love the most that you fixed your teeth.	我最爱你矫正后的小牙齿
[1:22:32]	Why did I know that…	你怎么知道的
[1:22:34]	They were horrible, I agree.	那时真的有些吓人
[1:22:41]	You know what I love? Mmm-hmm?	你猜我还喜欢什么
[1:22:43]	How you just do everything for everybody else	你总是为别人奉献
[1:22:45]	and you never expect anything back.	并且不求回报
[1:22:47]	In fact, when I say thank you,	事实上 当我对你说”谢谢”
[1:22:49]	I don’t know, do you hear that or not?	不知道你是否会听到
[1:22:52]	It’s cute.	真是可爱
[1:22:54]	And I love…	我还喜欢
[1:22:56]	I just love…	喜爱
[1:23:00]	You’re the only person I’ve never lied to in my life.	你是我一生中唯一没有欺骗过的人
[1:23:03]	I swear to God.	我发誓
[1:23:06]	I just trust you more than anybody in the world.	我比这世上任何人都信任你
[1:23:09]	You know every secret about me.	你知道我所有的秘密
[1:23:15]	I love your smile.	我喜欢看你的笑容
[1:23:17]	That smile is the magic.	你的笑容充满了魔力
[1:23:20]	When I’m in the operating room all I think about is,	当我在手术室时 满脑子都在想
[1:23:22]	“All right, 20 more minutes, I get to see the smile.”	20分钟后就又能看到你的笑容了
[1:23:27]	It’s just like…	就好像 看到你的笑容
[1:23:29]	It starts my day, that smile.	新的一天才开始
[1:23:40]	I won best smile at our sorority	在咱们女生联谊会上 我连续三年
[1:23:42]	three years straight, right, Katherine?	获得了美丽笑容奖 是吧 凯瑟琳
[1:23:45]	Not little Bucky here.	不是我们的暴牙小姐
[1:23:53]	Okay, here we go! Hi, yes! Wee!	好吧 我们继续 喂
[1:23:56]	We do the sheep dance, right?	我们来跳绵羊舞 对吧
[1:23:58]	We want to live and dance more, yes.	我们要活过来 还想使劲跳 对吧
[1:24:00]	Okay, all right. Here we go. Eat some food.	那就先吃点土
[1:24:02]	Eat the food. Come on, here we go.	吃点土 来吧 吃
[1:24:04]	Couple more zings.	有点活力
[1:24:06]	Make the milk. Yes, he makes the milk.	挤挤奶 对 他最爱这个了
[1:24:08]	You love it. You give milk to the baby.	你最喜欢这个了 给小羊喂奶
[1:24:10]	All right. One, two, three, here we go!	好了 一二三 喘气
[1:24:14]	Come on!	加油
[1:24:15]	We got a couple things that I know how to do!	我知道还有几种方法
[1:24:18]	Yes, this is a good test, so why not?	对 这么试试挺不错
[1:24:21]	All right. Here we go.	好了 这么整
[1:24:25]	You’re killing him!	你要杀了他了
[1:24:36]	The sheep lives! The sheep lives!	羊活过来了 活过来了
[1:24:39]	Yes! Here we go, one more time.	是啊 太棒了 再来一次
[1:24:41]	Here we go. Yes!	太棒了
[1:24:43]	This is what I did. You saw this. Yes!	这是我做的 你看到了
[1:24:46]	Welcome. I am Tanner Patrick, Jr.	欢迎各位光临 我是坦那·派特里克二世
[1:24:48]	We’re ready for the legendary Oceano’s Hula Competition.	传说中的海洋饭店草裙舞比赛就要开始了
[1:24:52]	Legendary? Never heard of it!	传说中的 我可从没听过
[1:24:56]	Legendary like the day you were once sober. So…	那是因为你喝多了
[1:25:00]	She talks the talk, who will walk the walk	所以她说她的 我们继续
[1:25:02]	and walk with me to the Ladies’ Lounge? Feeling it,like it…	请选手上来跟我去更衣室 大家稍等
[1:25:05]	I think you should do it, Devlin.	我觉得你该参加 德芙琳
[1:25:07]	Because she would win.	她肯定能赢
[1:25:11]	– I’ll do it! – Oh! Good show!	-我要参加 -干得好
[1:25:13]	Katherine? How about you?	凯瑟琳 你呢
[1:25:16]	Come on, this isn’t Katherine’s thing. Right, Katherine?	算了吧 这个可不是凯瑟琳擅长的 对吧
[1:25:18]	No, no, not my… Her speed. Not mine.	不 她来吧 我不行
[1:25:22]	Some people are just more comfortable	有些人只适合在旁边看戏
[1:25:24]	on the sidelines, so don’t judge her, honey.	别逼她了 亲爱的
[1:25:27]	Your honesty, your fearlessness, and your tickle spot.	爱你的正直无畏和G点
[1:25:30]	Your creativity, your bravery, and your taffy nipples.	爱你的智慧勇气和小乳头
[1:25:34]	Let’s go! How do I win this thing?	出发 好好看着我怎么赢
[1:25:37]	I’m gonna do this hula thing.	我也要参加比赛
[1:25:38]	Oh, don’t feel any pressure, Katherine.	别有太大压力 凯瑟琳
[1:25:40]	I’m not the one who should feel the pressure.	我可没有 有压力的是别人
[1:25:45]	Ladies and gentlemen, a warm welcome for tonight’s	先生们女士们 热烈欢迎今夜的
[1:25:49]	hula girls.	草裙女郎
[1:25:54]	These are my stars. And here’s the key,	这些女孩是我的明星
[1:25:57]	you decide how brightly they shine tonight.	你们来决定今夜谁最闪亮
[1:25:59]	You the audience, judge and jury.	你们即是观众 也是评委和裁判
[1:26:01]	I like what I see.	真是好看
[1:26:06]	This is my hula palooza.	我的草裙舞狂欢夜
[1:26:09]	You’re the judges.	你们是评委
[1:26:10]	You’re voting for your favorite hula girl.	向你们最爱的女孩投票
[1:26:14]	How about we do one over here?	这位怎么样
[1:26:16]	Can I get a little something-something up here in the corner?	在场各位有支持这位的吗
[1:26:20]	Has anybody got a conscience here tonight?	大家这是都喝多了吗
[1:26:22]	Come on, you did well. You did well.	来吧 你已经做得很棒了
[1:26:26]	It’s tough.	比赛是残酷的
[1:26:28]	What do I got over here? Anybody?	这位呢 有人投吗
[1:26:30]	How tall do you think that guy is?	那个家伙估计有多高
[1:26:33]	Who? The Tanner guy? I don’t know.	谁 坦那吗 我不清楚
[1:26:35]	Yeah, that Tanner.	对 就是坦那
[1:26:36]	Looks pretty tall, I’d say he’s like 6’3″.	看起来相当高 我猜他有6尺3英寸
[1:26:38]	Yeah, I don’t know.	是吗 我不知道
[1:26:39]	Can I get a positive reaction?	我能听到热烈的反应吗
[1:26:42]	Thank you.	谢谢
[1:26:44]	How about this little girl? Let’s make her night. How about it?	这位女孩呢 成为今夜女郎 怎么样
[1:26:48]	I like it. Keep the mojo going.	不错 保持掌声
[1:26:50]	How about Big Country in the corner?	这个大家伙呢
[1:26:52]	Do I got…	我能…
[1:26:55]	Sorry.	抱歉
[1:26:56]	This is fixed!	黑幕!
[1:26:58]	Tall fellow is lucky to get away.	这哥们还好没受伤
[1:27:01]	Let’s pick up the tempo, boys.	加快点节奏 小伙子们
[1:27:03]	What? What is that?	什么 怎么回事
[1:27:08]	Okay. This is a lot faster.	好吧 速度快点
[1:27:43]	Fabulous!	太精彩了
[1:27:56]	Yeah, baby!	干得好 宝贝
[1:28:16]	What?	什么
[1:28:18]	Come on.	拜托
[1:28:35]	Nobody got cheated here tonight.	今晚是公平竞赛
[1:28:37]	These are two of the hottest chicks	这是我们这里开赛以来
[1:28:39]	we have ever had up here.	最热辣的两位女孩
[1:28:41]	But our job is not done.	但我们的比赛还没结束
[1:28:42]	I need your help, because I need a winner.	我需要你们的帮助 选出一个冠军
[1:28:46]	Let me hear you.	大点声儿
[1:28:49]	Beautiful!	棒极了
[1:28:51]	Wow, that is gonna be tough to beat.	是个强劲的对手啊
[1:28:53]	Let’s not kid anybody. How about over here?	没开玩笑 这个又怎么样
[1:28:58]	There you have it. We have ourselves…	就是这个了 我们决出了
[1:29:02]	That’s my Boo-Boo!	那是我的布布熊
[1:29:05]	A tie! We have ourselves a tie.	平局 我们决出了平局
[1:29:08]	That’s great. We both win. Good…	太好了 我们都赢了 不错
[1:29:10]	What’s the tiebreaker?	决胜局怎么比
[1:29:13]	What’s the tiebreaker?	决胜局怎么比
[1:29:17]	This is how we settle ties in my house.	这就是决胜局的比赛项目
[1:29:19]	It’s something I like to call Coconut Smoochie.	我把它叫做椰之吻
[1:29:21]	The object of the game is,	比赛规则是
[1:29:23]	the coconut is in their midsections.	他们必须用肚子夹着椰子
[1:29:25]	It must move all the way up to their mouths	往上移到他们的嘴上
[1:29:27]	without the use of their hands.	而不准用手碰
[1:29:29]	If you touch the coconut, you are disqualified.	一旦用手碰到了椰子 就出局了
[1:29:33]	Okay. Ready? One, two, three, get coconutty!	好 准备 一 二 三 开始
[1:29:37]	Okay. Slow.	好 慢点儿
[1:29:41]	Okay, all right. Calm down, calm down.	好 好 慢点 慢点
[1:29:43]	Let me just bring it up to you.	让我来
[1:29:44]	Okay, do it.	好 你来吧
[1:29:46]	Get it up there. Come on.	往上走 快点
[1:29:48]	Bring your coconuts down to me.	把你的椰子往我下面挪
[1:29:49]	Okay. Oh, my coconuts.	好 我的椰子
[1:29:51]	Pull up. All right. I’m so low.	往上走 好 这样太低了
[1:29:52]	Squeeze your coconuts. Squeeze them.	挤住你的椰子 挤住
[1:29:55]	Use every crevice you can. Don’t be afraid.	一定要夹紧 不要怕
[1:29:58]	I can’t get it up here.	我没办法让它往上
[1:30:00]	I’m trying.	我在尽力
[1:30:01]	Would you be quiet?	别吵吵行吗
[1:30:03]	Stay there. Wait.	别动 待着
[1:30:05]	– Okay, that’s good. – Is that good?	-好 好样的 -真的
[1:30:08]	Sorry about this, by the way.	抱歉了
[1:30:09]	Really? You’re really sorry about this?	真的 你真觉得抱歉
[1:30:10]	No, I’m not. I like it.	不 没有 爽死了
[1:30:14]	Oh, yeah!	好耶
[1:30:15]	Pick it up, pick it up!	捡起来 捡起来
[1:30:16]	Not with your hands, you buffoon!	别用手 你个小丑
[1:30:18]	Come on!	快点儿
[1:30:19]	– Look what he’s doing! – What happened? I can’t see.	-你快看他在干什么 -怎么了 我看不到
[1:30:22]	Focus. Take it slow, take it slow.	集中精神 慢慢来 慢慢来
[1:30:25]	He’s got it!	成功了
[1:30:29]	That’s not fair. He can’t do that.	太离谱了 搞什么啊
[1:30:31]	No, that’s a clean pick-up right there.	这没有犯规
[1:30:33]	Okay. Bring it over here.	好 弄上来
[1:30:36]	Go! Go! Go!	加油 加油
[1:30:38]	I got it.	我夹住了
[1:30:43]	There’s still time. Let’s go.	还有时间 继续
[1:30:45]	You can touch each other,	可以碰对方身体
[1:30:46]	you cannot touch the coconut.	不准碰到椰子
[1:30:48]	Hang on, hang on.	挺住 挺住
[1:30:51]	– What’s going on? – What is that? What do you use?	-怎么了 -那是什么味 你用了什么吗
[1:30:53]	– What’s the hold-up? – You still got that perfume on, huh?	-怎么停住了 -你还在用那种香水 是吗
[1:30:55]	Would you stop it?	别闹了好吗
[1:30:56]	Smells good. Come on, let’s go.	好香 好 我们继续
[1:30:57]	Have you got it to your mouth yet, Boo-Boo?	它还没到你的嘴巴上吗 布布熊
[1:30:59]	Stop putting your ass in my face.	别把屁股在我脸上晃来晃去的
[1:31:03]	– I like it. – That’s my girl. Okay.	-太精彩了 -真有你的
[1:31:09]	We’ve got a winner! We have a winner! We have a winner.	他们赢了 他们赢了 他们赢了
[1:31:12]	Coconut Smoochie champions right here.	他们赢得了椰之吻大赛的冠军
[1:31:16]	Awesome.	了不起
[1:31:17]	You suck at everything!	你把什么都搞砸了
[1:31:21]	Boo-Boo.	布布熊
[1:31:22]	Great teamwork, guys.	真是天衣无缝 伙计们
[1:31:23]	How long have you two been married?	你们结婚有多久了
[1:31:25]	– Eight years. – Ten years.	-八年 -十年
[1:31:27]	– Ten years. – Eight.	-十年 -八年
[1:31:28]	– Very long time. – A very long time.	-很久了 -很久了
[1:31:30]	– Did you see the look on her face? – Yes.	-你看到她脸上的表情了吗 -当然
[1:31:32]	Do you understand what joy that brought me?	你明白那让我有多高兴吗
[1:31:35]	How about the look on her face	你在做杂耍动作的时候
[1:31:36]	when you were doing the juggling, though?	她的表情觉得怎么样啊
[1:31:37]	The juggling was the highlight for me.	我觉得杂耍部分最精彩
[1:31:39]	That was pretty good. You liked that?	是很不错 你喜欢吧
[1:31:40]	It was so cute.	太可爱了
[1:31:42]	And when you talked about her arms get this done?	你还以为她靠双胳膊就能搞定吗
[1:31:44]	The good news is she’s beating the hell	好消息是她现在也许正对着
[1:31:46]	out of the iPod guy right now.	苹果男大打出手呢
[1:31:47]	Right now, I know.	现在 我知道
[1:31:50]	That was good. That was really fun.	太好了 真好玩
[1:31:52]	You know what, I think that was the first time	知道吗 那可是我们这么久
[1:31:54]	that you and I have ever	第一次
[1:31:57]	gone out, you know, just us.	出去玩儿 就我们两个人
[1:32:00]	I know. I do.	我知道
[1:32:02]	I feel bad for the Soul Patch now.	真为那个灵斑男感到难过
[1:32:04]	I do.	真的
[1:32:05]	Now that you’ve been out with a real man.	现在你跟一个真男人在一起
[1:32:07]	And by a real man, I mean a man who showers.	我是说 一个爱干净的真男人
[1:32:11]	I think it’s so adorable	你对这个男人念念不忘的
[1:32:14]	how obsessed you are with this guy.	样子还真可爱
[1:32:17]	I just can’t picture you guys on a date,	我只是无法想象你们约会的样子
[1:32:18]	you know what I mean?	明白吗
[1:32:19]	Who said it was a date ever?	谁说我们在约会呢
[1:32:21]	– You. – You.	-你 -你
[1:32:23]	You get very excited when you talk to this man.	每次谈起他你总是眉飞色舞
[1:32:25]	Listen, Dr. Gervitz is moving his practice to New York City.	听着 吉薇姿医生就要搬去纽约工作了
[1:32:29]	Yeah.	是吗
[1:32:30]	Brian is not gonna go with him, and he…	布莱恩不跟着去 而他
[1:32:33]	He’s just been asking me if	问我是否
[1:32:36]	I would want to, you know, replace him.	愿意 你知道 顶替他
[1:32:40]	You’re going?	你要去吗
[1:32:42]	No.	不
[1:32:44]	You can’t do that to me.	你可别耍我
[1:32:45]	I just wanted to see how you’d react.	我只是想看看你的反应如何
[1:32:47]	Look at you. You can’t live without me.	看看你 离了我不行吧
[1:32:50]	What do I do? How do I sign it?	我该怎么办 该怎么签字啊
[1:32:51]	How do I pay for it?	这东西怎么付钱啊
[1:32:53]	No. You kind of played with me a little bit, though.	不 你在故意耍花招
[1:32:55]	You could’ve told me that earlier.	你可以实话实说的
[1:32:58]	You’re just messing with me?	你是故意的吧
[1:33:00]	Trying to get me a little jealous, weren’t you?	好让我吃他的醋 是吧
[1:33:02]	No. I just was having fun teasing you.	不是 我只是在逗你玩
[1:33:05]	That was fun. Why? Were you jealous?	真好玩 怎么 你真的吃醋了
[1:33:08]	No. Get outta here. Was I jealous? No.	不 你别扯了 我会吃醋 才没有
[1:33:11]	Look at you.	看看你
[1:33:12]	You’re grinning, you can’t stop, what is that smile?	傻笑个不停 笑得很开心嘛
[1:33:15]	I didn’t know you had that many teeth.	我没想到你有那么多牙齿
[1:33:16]	I know. I got like 55 teeth.	当然 我有55颗牙呢
[1:33:21]	No. So there’s nothing?	所以什么事也没有吗
[1:33:23]	You and… There’s nothing?	你和 什么也没有吗
[1:33:26]	No love connection?	没来电
[1:33:27]	No. Mmm-mmm. Nothing.	对 什么也没有
[1:33:30]	Well, then, that’s a shame.	那就可惜了
[1:33:32]	What?	什么
[1:33:33]	That coconut getting in the way tonight.	今晚那个椰子挡在中间
[1:33:36]	That’s a shame, don’t you think? Oh.	可惜了 不觉得吗
[1:33:37]	– No. No. – That was bad.	-不 不 -很烂的招儿
[1:33:39]	The coconut.	椰子
[1:33:40]	You’re lucky that coconut was there.	椰子能挡在中间那是你走运
[1:33:42]	You couldn’t… You wouldn’t have been able to handle it.	你没法 你会不知所措
[1:33:45]	Maybe you’re right.	你说的也是
[1:33:50]	You got more tricks that I don’t know about?	你还有我不知道的招术吗
[1:33:53]	I don’t know.	不知道
[1:33:54]	Okay.	好吧
[1:33:55]	I don’t know anything.	我什么也不知道
[1:33:58]	– Mommy? – Mommy?	-妈妈 -妈妈
[1:34:01]	Hi, guys!	哎 孩子们
[1:34:03]	Hey! What’re you doing?	你们在干什么呢
[1:34:05]	The babysitter fell asleep.	保姆睡着了
[1:34:06]	Oh, great.	好极了
[1:34:08]	I mean, come on,	我是说 这很扯
[1:34:09]	it’s like a Hawaiian Rosa, huh?	她把自己当成夏威夷公主了吗
[1:34:11]	Is it? Oh, my God.	是不是 天哪
[1:34:13]	Yeah, that’s asleep.	没错 睡得很死
[1:34:14]	Look at that.	瞧瞧
[1:34:20]	She’s out deep.	睡得太死了
[1:34:22]	All right. Good to see you guys.	好了 很高兴见到你们
[1:34:23]	Good night.	晚安
[1:34:25]	Good job. One more day of lying, guys.	不错 就剩一天了
[1:34:27]	We’re almost done. Home stretch.	我们就快结束了
[1:34:29]	All right. So, you gotta go to sleep.	好吧 你要睡觉了
[1:34:33]	Yeah.	是
[1:34:34]	– Tired? – Yes. Good night.	-不累吗 -累 晚安
[1:34:36]	– Okay. That was fun. – Good job.	-好 很有意思 -表现不错
[1:34:40]	– Good night. – Good night.	-晚安 -晚安
[1:34:41]	– Good night. – All right.	-晚安 -好
[1:34:43]	Okay, Danny.	好的 丹尼
[1:34:45]	Okay, good luck. I’ll see you in the morning.	祝你好运 明早见
[1:35:09]	She ain’t going to sleep.	她才不睡不着呢
[1:35:21]	Hello! There he is, Danny!	你好 他在这儿 丹尼
[1:35:25]	It’s nice to meet you.	很高兴见到你
[1:35:26]	Where were you going?	你要去哪儿
[1:35:28]	What?	什么
[1:35:29]	I was going… I was going to…	我要去 我要去
[1:35:31]	Where were you guys?	你俩跑哪去了
[1:35:32]	I was looking for you guys at…	我在找你们两个
[1:35:33]	What happened? How was the dinner?	出什么事了吗 晚饭吃得怎么样
[1:35:36]	Dolph gave mouth-to-mouth to a sheep.	道夫给一只羊作人工呼吸来着
[1:35:39]	Yeah. And then we had a few drinks.	真的 然后我们喝了点酒
[1:35:41]	Yes. It was choking and so I gave him sheep-P-R.	是的 它噎到了 我给他来了个急救
[1:35:47]	But he was the black sheep of the family,	它是一个家族的败类
[1:35:50]	but he was also white, if that makes any sense.	但是它又是白的 如果说得通的话
[1:35:55]	And we’ve been talking about how amazing	我们谈论着这次不平凡的经历
[1:35:57]	this trip has been and how amazing you are.	还有你有多了不起
[1:35:59]	Yeah, all joking aside,	是啊 我们开着玩笑
[1:36:01]	it really has been first-class.	够得上是一级笑话
[1:36:03]	And that, if the kids and I hadn’t kept you so busy,	而且 如果我和孩子们没有拖累你的话
[1:36:06]	that you might’ve had the time to do something	你就会有时间
[1:36:08]	you’ve been thinking about doing?	做点你想做的事吧
[1:36:10]	The one ring-ding?	婚戒在叮当作响哦
[1:36:12]	Uh… Yeah, you told her about that?	你全抖落出来了
[1:36:16]	I don’t need you to get me a ring, Danny.	我不需要你给我婚戒 丹尼
[1:36:18]	Let’s just get married. Right here.	我们结婚吧 就在这儿
[1:36:21]	What? Now?	怎么 现在吗
[1:36:22]	Why not? We’re in Hawaii. Let’s do it tomorrow.	为什么不呢 我们在夏威夷啊 明天就结婚
[1:36:26]	I mean, this has felt special from the moment that we met.	我是说 这是我们相遇那天起就有的感觉啊
[1:36:29]	And I’ve seen the way that you are with the kids,	而且你和孩子们相处的方式
[1:36:31]	and it’s exactly the way I always imagined	和我想象中的白马王子
[1:36:33]	my husband would be.	一模一样
[1:36:34]	Oh, man…	老天
[1:36:36]	I don’t wanna wait.	我都等不及了
[1:36:38]	I just wanna start my life with you.	我想和你一起生活
[1:36:44]	Hi!	你好
[1:36:47]	Hi, everybody! Dolph.	你们好 大伙儿 道夫
[1:36:51]	There you are.	你在这儿呢
[1:36:52]	I have been looking everywhere for you.	我在到处找你
[1:36:54]	For me?	找我吗
[1:36:55]	Yes. Come here. Come on, let’s go.	是啊 到这儿来 快点
[1:36:58]	– No way, we can’t go. – What?	-不行 我们不能走 -什么
[1:37:00]	My little Oompa Loompa.	我的小呜巴鲁巴
[1:37:02]	Danny and Palmer, they’re getting married tomorrow!	丹尼和帕莫尔 他们明天就要结婚了
[1:37:08]	What?	什么
[1:37:09]	No, no, I mean, why?	不 不 我是说 为什么
[1:37:11]	Yeah, we are. But what do you think?	是 没错 你觉得怎么样
[1:37:14]	What do you mean, what do I think?	你什么意思 我觉得怎么样
[1:37:16]	I mean, what does it matter what I think?	我是说 我觉不觉得有什么关系
[1:37:18]	I think that’s great.	我觉得 棒极了
[1:37:20]	Thank you, Devlin.	谢谢 德芙琳
[1:37:22]	I really hope that you can be there tomorrow.	我真的希望你明天能来
[1:37:24]	I can’t.	我不能
[1:37:26]	It’s really…	这可真是
[1:37:27]	It’s bad luck for the ex to be at the wedding.	婚礼上见到前妻是要倒霉的
[1:37:31]	Come on, Dolph. Let’s go.	快点 道夫 我们走
[1:37:32]	Where are we going? They are here.	我们去哪里 他们在这儿
[1:37:34]	We gotta have the sweet sex.	我们去做场甜蜜的爱
[1:37:35]	– What? – Okay? Come on.	-什么 -好吗 快点
[1:37:37]	Okay. Congratulations, though.	好 还是要祝贺你们
[1:37:57]	I’m trying them on as we speak.	我是边聊边试的
[1:37:59]	I know, but I just bought them.	我知道 可是我已经买了
[1:38:00]	I had some with me and the one I have on is pretty amazing.	我有不少了 现在我穿的这件就很不错
[1:39:11]	Michael!	迈克尔
[1:39:16]	Nincompoop!	白痴
[1:39:18]	Nincompoop schtick!	你这个白痴专业户
[1:39:20]	Michael, the crap is the stinking…	迈克尔 你的屎臭气熏天
[1:39:39]	Hello?	喂
[1:39:40]	Hey, you up?	喂 还没睡
[1:39:42]	Hi. Yeah. Glad you called.	你好 是 很高兴你能打电话
[1:39:47]	Are you?	真的吗
[1:39:51]	Yeah, I was, uh, just checking flights	是啊 我在 查你父母明天
[1:39:54]	for your parents tomorrow and I found…	过来的航班 我找到
[1:39:57]	No, no, no. You don’t have to do that.	不 不 不 你没必要那么做
[1:40:00]	Her parents aren’t coming in	她父母不来
[1:40:02]	and she wants it to be kind of elope-y.	她想搞个闪婚
[1:40:05]	Elope-y.	闪婚
[1:40:07]	Got it.	懂了
[1:40:08]	Okay, uh, so, are you all set	好吧 所以 你们婚礼上
[1:40:10]	for what you need to wear tomorrow?	穿的东西都准备好了
[1:40:13]	Do you think this is a good idea?	你觉得这事儿能行吗
[1:40:16]	What? The wedding?	什么事儿 结婚吗
[1:40:19]	Yeah, the wedding… Just the whole Palmer thing.	是 结婚 帕莫尔的主意
[1:40:25]	Well, that’s why we came out here, right?	我们不就是为这个来的吗 对吧
[1:40:29]	I guess.	我猜是
[1:40:32]	You don’t think it’s crazy?	你不觉得有点离谱吗
[1:40:38]	Um, Danny, you don’t need my permission.	丹尼 你不需要我的允许
[1:40:43]	Okay? You’re a big boy.	好吗 你是个成年人了
[1:40:45]	I know, I just…	我知道 只是
[1:40:51]	I know if I do this that…	我知道如果我这样做
[1:40:55]	Just, things could get weird	你和我在工作上
[1:40:58]	between you and me at the office, so…	会变得很尴尬 所以
[1:41:01]	Well, you’re not gonna have to worry about that.	你不需要担心那个
[1:41:06]	You going to New York?	你要去纽约吗
[1:41:08]	Yeah. I just, you know, I mean…	是啊 我只是 你知道 我是说
[1:41:12]	As much as I was looking forward to you, um,	我跟你学了不少东西
[1:41:15]	reconstructing my face,	我要重新做一下我的脸
[1:41:19]	I really just need to start fresh, you know?	我需要重新开始 知道吗
[1:41:25]	Hello, are you there?	喂 在听吗
[1:41:28]	You understand?	你懂了吗
[1:41:30]	I guess.	我猜是
[1:41:33]	It’s an awful lot of guessing coming through this phone.	别老是猜来猜去的 很讨厌耶
[1:41:38]	I’ve been divorced, I have two kids,	我离了婚 又有俩孩子
[1:41:40]	I don’t have time for guessing.	我可没时间玩猜字游戏
[1:41:46]	Got a big day tomorrow, Doc, all right?	祝你明天愉快 一声 好吗
[1:41:48]	So why don’t you just get yourself some sleep?	就好好睡一觉吧
[1:42:05]	So that’s it. You have nothing else to worry about.	就这样 你什么都不用担心
[1:42:08]	We have the flowers, the music and the location,	我们有鲜花 音乐 礼堂
[1:42:10]	which is ha-wowie, by the way, you’re gonna love it.	都是夏威夷式的 包你喜欢
[1:42:12]	I promise you it is going to be	我保证这将成为你
[1:42:15]	the most wonderful day of your life, guaranteed.	一生中最美好的一天 我保证
[1:42:18]	– Devlin. – Yeah.	-德芙琳 -是
[1:42:20]	Oh! Palmer! I didn’t…	帕莫尔 我没
[1:42:25]	Well, you just look absolutely beautiful.	你看起来美呆了
[1:42:29]	– Really? Thank you. – Yes.	-真的吗 谢谢 -是的
[1:42:32]	Devlin, can I ask you something?	德芙琳 我能问你件事吗
[1:42:34]	‘Course.	当然
[1:42:36]	Do you still want to be with Danny?	你心里还有丹尼吗
[1:42:40]	Wait. What?	等等 什么
[1:42:41]	Because I think that	因为我觉得
[1:42:44]	he still may be in love with you.	也许他还爱着你
[1:42:49]	Really?	真的吗
[1:42:52]	Why would you think that?	你为什么那么想
[1:42:55]	He’s always glowing when you’re around.	当你在他身边 他总是容光焕发
[1:42:58]	And he laughs at your jokes. He doesn’t laugh at mine.	你讲的笑话总能逗他笑 我却不行
[1:43:01]	Palmer, trust me, there is nothing between me and Danny.	帕莫尔 相信我 我们之间什么也没有
[1:43:06]	We’re just, you know,	我们只是 你知道
[1:43:08]	we’re familiar.	太熟悉了
[1:43:11]	And you are the girl for him.	你才是他的另一半
[1:43:14]	He even told me that last night.	昨天晚上他告诉我的
[1:43:16]	My God, Devlin, this is such a relief	上帝 德芙琳 真是让我如释重负
[1:43:19]	because I could never stand a chance	因为争起来
[1:43:21]	going up against you.	我根本没机会赢你
[1:43:23]	Turn around. Tell me if this fits.	转过来 告诉我合身不
[1:43:25]	Put the hanger up your nose.	勾勾你的鼻子
[1:43:27]	Stop!	别闹了
[1:43:39]	Excuse me.	你要的东西
[1:43:41]	– Here you go. – Thank you.	-请慢用 -谢谢
[1:43:42]	Katherine!	凯瑟琳
[1:43:44]	– Katherine! – Oh, Devlin.	-凯瑟琳 -德芙琳
[1:43:46]	That was so much fun last night.	昨天晚上太好玩儿了
[1:43:47]	I know.	我知道
[1:43:49]	I am still trying to work out how you cheated.	还是觉得你在耍赖
[1:43:52]	I didn’t. That’s what happened.	我没有 全靠实力
[1:43:55]	So, where’s Danny?	丹尼呢
[1:43:59]	Devlin…	德芙琳
[1:44:01]	Danny’s at his wedding.	丹尼今天结婚
[1:44:05]	Come again?	再说一遍
[1:44:06]	I was never married to him.	我们不是夫妻
[1:44:09]	All a big lie that I made up.	都是我撒的谎
[1:44:11]	Why?	为什么
[1:44:13]	‘Cause I couldn’t stand the thought	我不能想象你知道真相
[1:44:15]	of you knowing the truth.	之后是个什么样子
[1:44:18]	Really?	真的吗
[1:44:19]	So, yeah, I’m a single mother.	所以 是的 我是个单身母亲
[1:44:22]	I have two kids that I love them	我有两个小孩 我爱他们
[1:44:24]	more than anything in the world.	胜过世上任何东西
[1:44:26]	I drive a Honda. Still have dial-up internet.	我开本田车 还在用拨号上网
[1:44:30]	I got a 2.7 GPA in college, not a 3.4.	大学里的GPA是2.7 不是3.4
[1:44:34]	And while I’m at it telling the truth,	再顺便说句实话
[1:44:37]	I named my kids’ poop after you.	我用你的名字命名了孩子的便便
[1:44:40]	And I work for Danny. I’m his assistant.	我为丹尼工作 我是他的助理
[1:44:43]	That’s it.	就这些了
[1:44:44]	Really, I would never have guessed this.	真的 我从来没怀疑过这些
[1:44:48]	I mean, you two had a real connection.	我是说 你们俩真的很来电
[1:44:51]	He’s great. He’s the greatest guy.	他人很好 好得不能再好了
[1:44:56]	And I might even be in love with him,	我可能爱上他了
[1:45:00]	but that doesn’t really matter at this moment	但是现在说什么都不重要了
[1:45:02]	because he is getting married to another person right now.	因为现在他要成为别人的新郎了
[1:45:08]	Ian and I are breaking up.	伊恩和我分手了
[1:45:11]	What? What happened?	什么 怎么回事
[1:45:16]	Well, for starters, he’s gay.	首先 他是个同志
[1:45:18]	He’s gay?	同志吗
[1:45:19]	I mean, look at him.	我是说 你自己看吧
[1:45:21]	That’s a strong muscle right there.	肌肉真结实啊
[1:45:23]	I’m squeezing.	我挤挤看
[1:45:25]	Devlin, I gotta tell you,	德芙琳 我要告诉你
[1:45:26]	last night, with the ass grab of the coconut,	昨天晚上 看他用屁股夹椰子的劲头
[1:45:29]	little bit of a red flag.	就像斗牛见了红布一样
[1:45:33]	I’ve seen him do that with the soap.	我见过他夹过肥皂
[1:45:42]	What about the iPod?	那iPod是怎么回事
[1:45:44]	Oh, he didn’t invent shit.	他连屁都发明不出来
[1:45:45]	He didn’t?	不是他吗
[1:45:47]	No! He made his money suing the Dodgers	不是 他因为被界外球砸中
[1:45:49]	after he got hit by a foul ball.	起诉了道奇队后得了一大笔钱
[1:45:53]	Oh, God! That’s so… What?	神啊 那太 什么了
[1:45:57]	Well, this is different.	终于变了
[1:45:59]	Yeah, why didn’t we try this truth-telling thing before?	是啊 我们以前怎么没有这样坦诚地聊过
[1:46:05]	I don’t know.	不知道
[1:46:07]	– Hey. – Hey.	-你好 -你好
[1:46:10]	What?	怎么了
[1:46:11]	That’s nice.	真感人
[1:46:12]	It’s nice to tell the truth. That’s good.	能互倾衷肠真好 是好事
[1:46:15]	The truth is fun, isn’t it?	真话最有意思 不是吗
[1:46:16]	Like, were you telling the truth	就像 你说过你也许爱上我了
[1:46:18]	when you said you might be in love with me?	是真话吗
[1:46:20]	– I’m gonna leave you two. – Okay.	-你们好好谈吧 -好
[1:46:22]	– I’m gonna go get a divorce. – Good luck.	-我要办离婚去了 -祝你好运
[1:46:30]	Wait, where are my kids?	等等 孩子们上哪去了
[1:46:32]	Palmer took them out for ice cream.	帕莫尔带他们吃冰淇淋去了
[1:46:36]	So, how was the wedding?	婚礼办得如何
[1:46:38]	Okay. All right.	好了
[1:46:39]	So, we’re standing on top of this beautiful cliff.	我们站在美丽的悬崖顶上
[1:46:44]	I start looking out into the Pacific,	我注视着太平洋
[1:46:47]	and I think to myself,	然后我在想
[1:46:49]	Wow. I am about to start my life.	我要和我爱的人
[1:46:54]	With the one I love.	开始新的人生
[1:46:57]	And the only problem was,	但唯一的问题是
[1:46:59]	the one I love was not with me.	我爱的人不在我身边
[1:47:03]	She wasn’t?	她不是吗
[1:47:04]	She was not.	她不是
[1:47:06]	So you didn’t?	所以你没
[1:47:08]	I couldn’t.	我不能
[1:47:10]	You couldn’t.	你不能
[1:47:11]	I mean, don’t we have something extra	我是说 我们不是发生了
[1:47:16]	happening with us?	一段小插曲吗
[1:47:19]	Danny, I…	丹尼 我
[1:47:23]	What happens when we’re not on fake-cation	就算我们假戏真做了
[1:47:26]	and you wake up and realize this is real?	而你哪天清醒过来后悔了怎么办
[1:47:30]	You are the only real thing I’ve ever had in my life.	你是我有生以来唯一想认真对待的人
[1:47:33]	Danny, come on, man. I don’t…	丹尼 得了吧你 我不
[1:47:35]	She’s beautiful and she’s… I’m not twenty-three.	她又漂亮又 我可不年轻了
[1:47:40]	I’m not that.	我不像她那样
[1:47:42]	She’s good, she’s very nice,	她不错 又非常善良
[1:47:44]	there’s only one problem. She’s not you.	就一个问题 她不是你
[1:47:47]	She’s not you.	她不是你啊
[1:47:49]	I have two kids.	我有俩小孩
[1:47:51]	I can’t just drive them off a cliff. You know?	我可不想让他们伤心难过 知道吗
[1:47:55]	I love those kids	我爱那俩孩子
[1:47:56]	more than anything in the world, Guv’nor.	胜过世上的一切 头儿
[1:48:00]	I wanna be with those guys like 23 hours a day.	我想每天23小时和他们待在一起
[1:48:04]	What about the other hour?	另外一小时呢
[1:48:17]	Good job!	干得好
[1:48:18]	That’s what I’m talking about.	这样做就对了
[1:48:20]	Whatever!	爱谁谁啦
[1:48:26]	Well, everything turned out	最终 事情对每个人来说
[1:48:27]	pretty good for everybody.	都变得顺利了
[1:48:30]	Squirt got to swim with the dolphins.	小水枪和海豚一起游了泳
[1:48:36]	Palmer met some tennis player her own age	帕莫尔在回家的飞机上
[1:48:38]	on the plane ride home,	遇见了一个年纪相仿的网球手
[1:48:39]	who’s an even bigger fan of ‘N Sync.	比她还要粉超级男孩的粉丝
[1:48:43]	And Maggie’s about to start a three-week acting class	麦姬就要参加为期三周的
[1:48:46]	with the actual Dolph Lundgren.	道夫·伦德伦的表演课
[1:48:49]	And what happened for me?	那么我呢
[1:48:52]	Well, I’m finally wearing my wedding ring for real.	我终于正式戴上了结婚戒指
[1:48:55]	And now when women ask me about it,	现在再有女人问我
[1:48:57]	I’m gonna tell them I’m married to a woman	我就告诉他们我娶了一个女人
[1:48:59]	who doesn’t beat me, doesn’t cheat on me,	一个从不打我 从不骗我
[1:49:02]	doesn’t drink… Well, doesn’t drink that much.	从不酗酒 没酗酒那么夸张啦
[1:49:05]	And who I’m gonna spend the rest of my life with.	一个将陪我度过余生的女人
[1:49:08]	A woman named Katherine.	一个叫凯瑟琳的女人
[1:49:11]	Would you like to dance with your wife, Doctor Maccabee?	愿意和你的老婆跳舞吗 麦卡比大夫
[1:49:15]	Yes, I would, Mrs. Maccabee.	是的 我愿意 麦卡比夫人
[1:49:17]	Yeah, it’s okay.	啊 好极了
[1:49:20]	One more.	再来一张
[1:49:27]	You were right, Soul Patch is going hard on that bass.	你说对了 灵斑男要对贝斯下手了
[1:49:30]	What did I tell you? Uh-huh.	我说什么来着
[1:49:35]	– Hey. Encore, man. I’m just kidding. – Stop.	-喂 再来一个 伙计 开玩笑 -别闹了
[1:49:43]	I get it. It is long and it’s gross.	我懂了 又长又恶心
[1:49:45]	You don’t need wind for that thing to swing around.	那玩意真是无风自飘然啊