| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:36] | – Hi, everybody. – We call it a tiger stripe. | -嗨 大家好 -我們把這叫做老虎紋 |
| [00:38] | We glue it in. | 用膠水粘粘 |
| [00:39] | How’s that look, Mr. P.? | 酸瓜先生 這看起來怎麼樣 |
| [00:46] | Give me your phone. If we’re gonna hang out later, | 把你的電話給我 如果我們以後要出去玩 |
| [00:48] | I should put my number in it. | 我該把我的號碼輸進去 |
| [00:50] | Saw you guys drive up. | 看見你們開車過來 |
| [00:51] | Maddy, piano time! | 麥蒂 彈鋼琴 |
| [00:54] | I’ll take her! | 我帶她去 |
| [00:57] | Did you hand-fuck my husband? | 你幫我丈夫打過飛機嗎 |
| [01:00] | – This is the car… – President | -這輛車就是… -美利堅合眾國 |
| [01:02] | – of the United States… – 2013! | -總統… -2013 |
| [01:04] | There are more victims of… | 發現了更多受害者… |
| [01:05] | – Crime reportedly… – My doctor told me… | -據報道 犯罪… -我的醫生告訴我… |
| [01:08] | – Chop foods like a pro… – To look out for them. | -切食物切得專業點… -為了照顧他們 |
| [01:10] | To the left field… | 球場左邊… |
| [01:12] | Saying things like “It’s amazing”… | 說點類似 “太棒了”這樣的話… |
| [01:14] | Thomas pulled up and… | 托馬斯舉起來 然後… |
| [01:16] | Part of you that no one can see. | 你身上有一部分 別人永遠無法看到 |
| [01:20] | But you know it’s there, | 但是你知道 它就在那 |
| [01:22] | and I do, too. | 而且 我也知道 |
| [01:24] | That’s the part that no one can take away, | 沒人能把這部分的你帶走 |
| [01:27] | because that’s the part of you that’s really you. | 因為這部分才是真實的你 |
| [01:50] | I’m leaving! | 我走了 |
| [01:52] | – When are you back? – Tomorrow. | -什麼時候回來 -明天 |
| [01:55] | – I love you. – Love you, Lunch Bug. | -我愛你 -愛你 午餐蟲 |
| [01:57] | Later, Crazy Face! | 明天見哦 瘋狂臉 |
| [01:59] | Remember, if you get sick of clarinet, | 記著 如果你不喜歡單簧管的話 |
| [02:01] | you can always switch back to piano. | 隨時可以回頭學鋼琴哦 |
| [02:04] | Love you guys. | 愛你們 |
| [02:10] | Are you and Dad getting divorced? | 你和爸爸離婚了嗎 |
| [02:13] | No. Why would you ask me that? | 沒 你為什麼會這樣問我 |
| [02:18] | Every pain needs a name. | 每種疼痛都需要有個名字 |
| [02:25] | Can you all hear that? | 你們都聽到了嗎 |
| [02:31] | Sounds like someone’s knock-knock-knocking | 聽起來像是有人 |
| [02:33] | on the door of my old cardiac condo. | 在我的心臟小屋前敲門哦 |
| [02:39] | Hey, there, Thump-Thump. | “舉手手” 你好呀 |
| [02:42] | What’s that? | 那是什麼 |
| [02:44] | There’s a thunderstorm in my aorta? | 我的主動脈有大雷雨嗎 |
| [02:48] | That doesn’t sound right. | 那聽起來可不妙 |
| [02:50] | Let’s take a closer look. | 再仔細看看 |
| [02:55] | No. | 沒有哦 |
| [02:56] | I don’t see any thunderstorms, | 我沒有看到任何大雷雨呀 |
| [02:58] | but there is a name for this pain. | 可這種疼痛是有名字的 |
| [03:00] | Did you just see that? | 你剛才看見了嗎 |
| [03:03] | – What? – He just ripped Thump-Thump | -什麼 -他把”舉手手”活生生從他的胸裏 |
| [03:05] | out of his chest. | 給扯出來了 |
| [03:09] | Every pain needs a name. | 每種疼痛都有一個名字 |
| [03:11] | What do we think this one is called? | 那這種疼痛叫什麼呢 |
| [03:14] | If you ask a child how they’re feeling, | 如果你問一個孩子 他們什麼感覺 |
| [03:16] | they’ll say, | 他們會說 |
| [03:18] | “There’s a bowling ball in my chest | “我胸口有個保齡球在滾 |
| [03:20] | where my heart used to be.” | 就在我心臟的位置” |
| [03:21] | It’s terrifying for kids to have a feeling | 孩子們不能描述自己的感受 |
| [03:23] | and not be able to describe it. | 這是很恐怖的 |
| [03:25] | Now, instead of a bowling ball, | 而現在 可以不用保齡球來描述了 |
| [03:27] | they’ll know it’s heartache. | 他們會知道 這叫心痛 |
| [03:28] | Ah, you’re in pain. I get it. | 你心痛 我懂了 |
| [03:31] | And pain can have a name. | 每種疼痛都有個名字 |
| [03:32] | Jill, Peter… Phil. | 吉爾 皮特… 菲爾 |
| [03:36] | But the remedy can have a name, too. | 但是 治療方法也有名字 |
| [03:39] | Priscilla, Holly, Daisy. | 普麗西拉 霍莉 黛西 |
| [03:46] | Box of Kleenex and a cold left hand. | 一盒抽紙和左手 |
| [03:49] | This is the drawer of letters from women | 這一抽屜的信都是一些女人寫的 |
| [03:52] | who often describe incredible things | 她們用很離譜的細節 |
| [03:55] | in incredible detail. | 描述了一些很離譜的事 |
| [03:58] | I think Thump-Thump’s broken. | 我覺得”舉手手”已經不能用了 |
| [04:00] | Thank you, Doctor. | 謝謝了 醫生 |
| [04:03] | “Dear Mr. Pickles, | “親愛的酸瓜先生 |
| [04:05] | What a rare, sublime kindness | 你給這個世界 |
| [04:08] | you bestow upon the world. | 帶來了少見的善良 讓人心生敬意 |
| [04:10] | Attached, please find a photograph of my clitoris.” | 隨信附上我的小妹妹[女性陰蒂]的照片 仔細找找哦” |
| [04:16] | I think it might be upside-down. | 我覺得你拿反了 |
| [04:19] | There are short women, there are tall women, | 這些女人 有小個子的 有高個子的 |
| [04:22] | Some subtle, | 有很貼心的 |
| [04:24] | some have a kosher dill | 有些人的小妹妹裏 |
| [04:26] | knuckle-deep inside their hoo-has. | 可能有猶太小茴香哦 |
| [04:29] | This one’s from Akron. | 這封信是從阿克倫城寄來的 |
| [04:31] | You know, it’s only two hours away. | 距這裏就兩個小時的路程 |
| [04:33] | Give her a call. Buy her some cheesecake. | 給她打個電話 買個芝士蛋糕 |
| [04:36] | – Married. – Jill’s met a new friend, | -我已婚 -吉爾已經有男朋友了 |
| [04:38] | who she’s fucking. | 夜夜笙簫 |
| [04:40] | Now, why can’t you meet a new fuck-friend? | 你為什麼不去找個炮友呢 |
| [04:43] | I’m sorry, I’m not… I can’t think this way. | 對不起 我沒… 我不能這麼想 |
| [04:45] | Monsieur | 先生 |
| [04:47] | attend, attend. | 注意 注意 |
| [04:49] | Let us have a conversation | 我們來 |
| [04:50] | about friendship, huh? | 好好聊聊友情吧 好嗎 |
| [04:52] | Let us parlez about the value of friends… | 好好探討一下朋友的價值… |
| [04:56] | Oh, fuck this. | 去他的吧 |
| [04:58] | Jeff, they’re not all looking for sex. | 傑夫 她們不全是為了上床 |
| [05:01] | Most of them would just like to meet you. | 很多人真的很想見見你 |
| [05:03] | Derrell and I would like to dive deep | 我和德瑞爾可以好好挑選 |
| [05:05] | and curate you a top ten. | 給你挑出個最佳前十 |
| [05:07] | I don’t like the idea of being out on a date. | 我不想和什麼人約會 |
| [05:10] | People staring at me, wondering, | 大家都盯著我 會猜 |
| [05:13] | “Did he not make a covenant with his spouse?” | “難道他沒有和他的太太宣誓嗎” |
| [05:16] | No, no, no. Stop that. | 不不不 別那樣想 |
| [05:17] | No one would see you eating with another adult | 別人不會看到你和其他成年人一起吃飯 |
| [05:20] | and think you’re out on a date. | 就覺得你在約會 |
| [05:21] | I’d be a… A man, out with a woman. | 我想以一個… 男人的身份和一個女人出去 |
| [05:25] | No, you’d be Mr. Pickles out with a woman. | 不 你要以酸瓜先生的身份和女人出去 |
| [05:27] | The general populace doesn’t see you as a sexual being. | 大家並不會把你當作是約會對像 |
| [05:31] | We see eyes, | 我們看得到你的眼睛 |
| [05:32] | we see ears, we see a nose, | 你的耳朵 你的鼻子 |
| [05:34] | but there’s nothing between the legs. | 但不會看到你兩條腿中間的東西 |
| [05:35] | We see Mr. Potato Head. No one sees a man. | 我們只看得到土豆先生 沒有人把你當作男人來看 |
| [05:40] | Thanks, Dad, | 謝謝 老爹 |
| [05:43] | but I am a man. | 可本質上 我是個男人 |
| [05:44] | I am. | 真的 |
| [05:47] | Just a different kind. | 另一種男人而已 |
| [05:52] | There are three kinds of matters: | 世界上有三種物質形態 |
| [05:55] | solid matters, | 固體 |
| [05:57] | liquid matters, gas matters. | 液體 氣體 |
| [06:06] | Lemonade is a liquid matter. | 檸檬水是液體 |
| [06:10] | Lemons… are a solid matter. | 檸檬… 是固體 |
| [06:14] | Zyklon B is a gas matter. | 環酮B是氣體 |
| [06:22] | Shut up. | 閉嘴 |
| [06:24] | What Maddy’s experiencing | 麥蒂現在的反應 |
| [06:25] | is something akin to her Moro reflex. | 和她的小時候的擁抱反射很相似 |
| [06:29] | You remember what that is, from baby days? | 還記得那是什麼嗎 一種嬰兒時期的現象 |
| [06:31] | No. | 不記得了 |
| [06:32] | Just for giggles, let’s pretend | 我只是想笑 |
| [06:34] | that the enthusiasm for my pregnancy was, um, muted? | 就當我孕期的反應減弱了吧 |
| [06:39] | We’re talking about something that’s totally normal for three-month-olds. | 我們說的是懷孕三個月完全正常的現象 |
| [06:43] | Basically, it’s evolution’s way | 本質上來講 這是一種進化 |
| [06:46] | of giving infants a reflex | 如果他們倒下的話 |
| [06:48] | to cling to Mom in case they’re falling. | 他們會舉手 試圖抓住媽媽 |
| [06:51] | That’s why the hands go up. | 所以她才會舉手 |
| [06:54] | But she’s eight. | 但她8歲了 |
| [06:56] | Right. | 沒錯 |
| [06:57] | Kids also just regress | 當遭遇創傷時 |
| [06:59] | when there’s been a trauma. | 孩子們也會倒退 |
| [07:01] | Has there been a trauma of some kind? | 她遇到了什麼創傷嗎 |
| [07:28] | Happy pedicure day, everybody. | 各位 修腳愉快 |
| [07:31] | Hi, Mrs. Steinman. How are you? | 嗨 斯坦曼夫人 你好嗎 |
| [07:35] | Does Sy the Wide-Eyed Fly | 大眼蒼蠅小賽 |
| [07:37] | like the color on my toes? | 喜歡我腳趾的顏色嗎 |
| [07:39] | Yes-zzzz, he loves-zzz the color of your toes-zzz. | 是的 他愛你腳趾的顏色 |
| [07:44] | It reminds me of jelly beans-zzz. | 這提醒了我軟糖豆 |
| [07:46] | And jelly beans-zzz are my favorite food. | 而且軟糖豆是我最愛的食物 |
| [07:49] | Have you seen Jill? | 你看到吉爾了嗎 |
| [07:51] | Is that the nurse who’s married to the anesthesiologist? | 是那位嫁給了麻醉師的護士嗎 |
| [07:56] | I don’t think they’re married. | 我覺得他們沒結婚 |
| [07:58] | They’re dating, but it’s noncommittal. | 他們在約會 但還沒確定關係 |
| [08:00] | Whatever. They’re doing a scene | 隨便 他們現在在休息室 |
| [08:02] | from Gray’s Anatomy in the break room right now. | 上演實習醫生格蕾的一個場景 |
| [08:05] | What happens on Gray’s Anatomy? | 實習醫生格蕾的什麼場景 |
| [08:07] | Everyone fucks each other shapeless. | 大家相互幹得不成人樣 |
| [08:11] | Please don’t use a bad word when you can use a good word. | 能用好聽字眼的時候 請別用難聽的字眼 |
| [08:14] | They are carnally entwined | 現在他們的肉體 |
| [08:18] | at the moment. | 交織在一起 |
| [08:20] | I don’t think I like that show. | 我覺得我不會喜歡那節目 |
| [08:23] | I heard your friend’s planning a trip | 我聽說你的朋友這個週末 |
| [08:24] | to Hershey Park this weekend. | 計劃去赫爾希公園旅行 |
| [08:26] | They have a chocolate log flume there | 那裏有一個巧克力流送槽 |
| [08:29] | that, if you squint, looks like a gushing asshole. | 如果你斜眼看 看著就像一個噴涌的菊花 |
| [08:31] | It’s very romantic. | 非常浪漫 |
| [08:35] | Come on. This is where you say | 拜託 這時候你該說 |
| [08:37] | “Sy loves gushing assholes.” | “小賽很喜歡噴涌的菊花” |
| [08:40] | Sorry. Are you okay? | 抱歉 你沒事吧 |
| [08:43] | Want to give him something to say? | 想對他說點什麼嗎 |
| [08:45] | I don’t want to touch a puppet. | 我不想碰一個木偶 |
| [08:47] | It can help. | 它有用 |
| [08:49] | Everything you love, he loves. | 你愛的一切 他都愛 |
| [08:51] | You already have so much in common. | 你們已經有很多共同點 |
| [08:53] | In six weeks, I’m gonna be dead. | 6周後 我就會死掉 |
| [08:58] | Go help someone who matters. | 去幫助別的重要的人吧 |
| [09:02] | So you don’t matter anymore? | 那麼你已經變得無足輕重了嗎 |
| [09:04] | No. | 是的 |
| [09:07] | Then why are you getting a pedicure? | 那你為什麼要美趾甲 |
| [09:28] | Hi, you’ve reached Rex. Sorry I’ve missed you. | 嗨 我是雷克斯 抱歉我接不了你的電話 |
| [09:30] | Please leave a message. | 請留言 |
| [09:34] | Shitheads in a bucket! | 白癡蠢蛋 |
| [09:45] | I’m surprised you went all night and didn’t feel it. | 我很吃驚你通睡整晚都沒感覺到 |
| [09:48] | – Feel what? – At your feet. Look. | -感覺到什麼 -在你腳下 瞧 |
| [09:53] | It’s a magic suitcase, | 這是一個神奇箱子 |
| [09:55] | filled with wonder and illusion. | 裝滿了奇跡與幻想 |
| [09:59] | It’s a wand, a cool top hat, | 有一支魔杖 一頂很酷的大禮帽 |
| [10:01] | mysterious red dice, | 神秘的紅色骰子 |
| [10:03] | and a plastic dove. | 和一隻塑料鴿子 |
| [10:04] | Flattens into a pancake | 壓平成一個煎餅 |
| [10:06] | so you can hide it up your nose. | 這樣你就能把它藏起來 |
| [10:08] | Could I just have some cash | 可以給我點現金 |
| [10:10] | or like a normal allowance? | 或者正常的零用錢嗎 |
| [10:11] | You know what you need? A hobby. | 你知道你需要什麼嗎 一個愛好 |
| [10:13] | And you need new friends to share the hobby with, | 而且你需要有共同愛好的新朋友 |
| [10:17] | like the magic shows you used to put on with your brother. | 就像你和你兄弟過去的魔術表演 |
| [10:19] | What’s wrong with my friends? | 我的朋友們怎麼了 |
| [10:20] | You’re too young to have friends that lost. | 你還太年輕 不能擁有那麼迷失的朋友 |
| [10:23] | They’re what Nancy called the troubled people. | 他們就是南希所謂的問題青年 |
| [10:26] | – Who? – Fancy Nancy, | -誰 -時髦的南希 |
| [10:28] | President Reagan’s wife. | 總統裏根的妻子 |
| [10:29] | “Just say no.” | “直接拒絕” |
| [10:31] | Tried to solve America’s crack problem. | 試過解決美國的毒品問題 |
| [10:34] | Your brother put peanut butter in her shoes. | 你的兄弟把花生醬倒在她鞋子裏 |
| [10:36] | Yeah, now I remember her. | 是的 現在我記得她了 |
| [10:38] | I don’t know what’s funny about that. | 我不知道有什麼好笑的 |
| [10:40] | She almost fell off an escalator. | 她差點從自動扶梯上摔下來 |
| [10:43] | I remember, you spoke at her funeral, | 我記得 你在她的葬禮上發過言 |
| [10:45] | – in California. – Yeah, it was a good trip. | -在加利福尼亞 -是的 那旅行很棒 |
| [10:48] | Yeah, yeah, it was. | 是的 |
| [10:49] | Could we go back to California? | 我們能回到加利福尼亞嗎 |
| [10:51] | Why, because cannabis is legal there? | 為什麼 因為大麻在那是合法的嗎 |
| [10:53] | No, Dad, I’m not America’s crack problem. | 不 爸爸 我不是美國的毒品問題 |
| [10:55] | Okay, but you’re my crack problem, | 好吧 但你是我的”毒品”問題 |
| [10:58] | and I love you. | 而且我愛你 |
| [11:01] | Thanks for the magic kit. | 謝謝魔術箱 |
| [11:03] | Cool wand. | 魔杖很不錯 |
| [11:06] | Hey, is your mom going to Hershey Park | 嘿 你媽媽這週末要去 |
| [11:08] | this weekend? | 赫爾希公園嗎 |
| [11:10] | Mm… | 嗯 |
| [11:11] | No, I don’t think so. | 不去 應該不會去 |
| [11:13] | She just got back. | 她剛回來 |
| [11:16] | Fun there. | 那很有趣 |
| [11:20] | Will, is that you? | 威爾 是你嗎 |
| [11:34] | It’s the part of you that no one can see, | 你身上有一部分 別人永遠無法看到 |
| [11:38] | but you know it’s there, | 但是你知道 它就在那 |
| [11:40] | and I do, too. | 而且 我也知道 |
| [11:42] | That’s the part of you that no one can take away, | 沒人能把這部分的你帶走 |
| [11:45] | because that’s the part of you that’s really you. | 因為這部分才是真實的你 |
| [11:49] | You see, the stuff I like about you | 知道嗎 你讓我喜歡的地方 |
| [11:51] | isn’t the stuff on the outside, | 不是你的外在 |
| [11:53] | say your hat or your shiny new shoes | 比如你的帽子或你閃亮的新鞋 |
| [11:57] | or even the friends you keep. | 或者甚至你交的朋友 |
| [11:59] | What I like about you is the other stuff. | 我喜歡你的地方在於其他東西 |
| [12:04] | The inside stuff. | 內在的東西 |
| [12:06] | The stuff that you might not think is that important. | 那些你覺得不重要的東西 |
| [12:10] | Might even be the stuff you don’t like all that much. | 甚至可能是你很不喜歡的東西 |
| [12:14] | Things you feel a little embarrassed about, maybe, | 也許是你覺得有些尷尬的事 |
| [12:17] | like the way you cry when you make a mistake, | 比如你犯錯時 哭泣的方式 |
| [12:20] | ’cause you get so dang tired | 因為你太厭倦 |
| [12:22] | of making the same mistakes, | 犯相同的錯誤了 |
| [12:24] | or the part of you that wants to scream and scream | 或者在你媽媽讓你去睡覺時 |
| [12:28] | when your mom tells you to go to bed | 想驚叫不止的你 |
| [12:30] | and it’s way too early for anyone to go to bed. | 因為那個時候對任何人而言睡覺都太早了 |
| [12:33] | I like the parts of you that you don’t like | 我喜歡你不喜歡的自己那部分 |
| [12:37] | and you should, too. | 而且 你也應該喜歡 |
| [12:41] | There’s a spark of greatness… | 一點偉大的星火… |
| [12:44] | Blow out the candles! | 吹熄蠟燭 |
| [12:45] | Inside each and every one of us: | 在我們每個人心中 |
| [12:48] | in you, in me, | 在你心中 在我心中 |
| [12:50] | inside every one of us, | 在我們每個人心中 |
| [12:51] | there’s this lovely light, | 有著這道奇異光芒 |
| [12:55] | and I see it when you smile at someone, | 在你向某人微笑時 我看到了它 |
| [12:58] | because smiles are a little gift | 因為微笑是我們給與彼此的 |
| [13:00] | we give each other. | 小小禮物 |
| [13:02] | That’s the most beautiful part of yourself. | 那就是你最美的一部分 |
| [13:04] | Hey, you! | 嘿 你 |
| [13:06] | I like to call it grace, | 我喜歡把它稱作恩典 |
| [13:08] | and grace… | 而恩典… |
| [13:12] | Be good! | 乖一點 |
| [13:14] | Bye! | 拜 |
| [13:16] | I took away all the stuff that wasn’t me: | 我扔掉了所有與我格格不入的東西 |
| [13:18] | the moustache of cocaine, | 可卡因鬍子 |
| [13:20] | the compulsion to sell my body to drug dealers | 為了獲得可卡因 向毒販出賣 |
| [13:22] | in order to procure said cocaine, | 我的身體的衝動 |
| [13:24] | the petty wants, | 小資慾望 |
| [13:27] | and there I was. | 然後我來了 |
| [13:28] | The total absence of myself was myself. | 完全的無我就是我自己 |
| [13:32] | So what’s it look like from atop the Matterhorn? | 在馬特洪峰頂是什麼樣子的 |
| [13:34] | You know, it’s lonely. | 很孤獨 |
| [13:36] | It’s really lonely. But… but not… | 非常孤獨 但不是… |
| [13:37] | – not, like, bad lonely. – Mr. Pickles! | -不是壞的孤獨 -酸瓜先生 |
| [13:39] | Like, I’m alone, | 比如說 我是獨自一人 |
| [13:41] | but with my best friend. | 不過跟最好的朋友在一起 |
| [13:43] | Uh, I like to, uh… | 我喜歡… |
| [13:46] | I like to imagine I’m somebody else. | 我喜歡把自己想像成別人 |
| [13:48] | I do that a lot. | 我經常這麼做 |
| [13:50] | I watch action movies, picture myself in them. | 看動作片的時候 我會把自己腦補成電影人物 |
| [13:55] | It’s fun to imagine yourself as your opposite. | 把自己想像成自己的另一面 特別有趣 |
| [13:59] | Or someone new, anyway. | 或者全新的人 |
| [14:03] | You know, your… your brain has all these grooves, right? | 你知道 你的… 你的大腦有這些愉快的經歷 對吧 |
| [14:05] | – Mm-hmm. – And they’re there because | -對啊 -這些東西存在是因為 |
| [14:07] | you made them with your thoughts, | 你想像出了它們 |
| [14:08] | but if you stop thinking those thoughts | 但是 如果你停止這些想像 |
| [14:09] | and start thinking new thoughts, | 開始想新的東西 |
| [14:11] | then you get new grooves. | 那你就會有新的愉快經歷 |
| [14:13] | It’s called neuroplasticity. | 這叫做”神經可塑性” |
| [14:14] | That’s a fun word to say. | 這詞念起來挺滑稽 |
| [14:16] | Neuroplasticity. | 神經可塑性 |
| [14:18] | Makes your mouth into a bouncy house. | 讓你的嘴巴開開合合 |
| [14:20] | Neuroplasticity. Yeah, it kind of does. | 神經可塑性 對 是有點 |
| [14:24] | – Sorry. – All good. | -抱歉 -沒事 |
| [14:37] | What did the Secret Chef hide in your meal? | 秘密廚師在你的飯裏藏了什麼 |
| [14:41] | – I got green beans. – Okra. | -我這裏有青豆 -秋葵 |
| [14:45] | Daikon. What the hell is daikon? | 蘿蔔 蘿蔔是啥玩意兒 |
| [14:52] | Are you just gonna stand there, | 你是打算就在那站會兒 |
| [14:54] | or can I finally teach you to cook? | 還是說 我終於能教你做飯了 |
| [14:56] | You need to go easier on Jeff. | 你不能那麼逼迫傑夫 |
| [14:58] | He’s not like you. He feels everything. | 他不像你 他很敏感 |
| [15:00] | You want to have this talk now? Okay, | 你想現在談嗎 好吧 |
| [15:03] | because I worry, too. I worry a lot. | 因為我也擔心 擔心得不得了 |
| [15:06] | What’s wrong with Maddy? | 麥蒂怎麼回事 |
| [15:07] | She’s got a case of the screams. | 她驚聲尖叫的毛病犯了 |
| [15:09] | Just ignore her. | 無視她就行了 |
| [15:11] | Shut up! | 閉嘴 |
| [15:13] | Here. | 給你 |
| [15:16] | Press play. | 按播放鍵 |
| [15:18] | Maestro Fermata buries | 費瑪塔藝術大師 |
| [15:20] | his choir of pulsing dicks | 將他血脈膨脹的大屌 |
| [15:22] | deep inside Secret Chef’s sister. | 塞進了秘密廚師妹妹的身體 |
| [15:24] | From inside her, they whisper… | 從她的體內 他們耳語道… |
| [15:26] | ♪ Today’s hidden ingredient ♪ | ♪ 今天的秘密材料 ♪ |
| [15:29] | Ecstasy! | 極樂 |
| [15:30] | His name is Josip Butkovic. | 他叫約瑟普·波特科維奇 |
| [15:32] | He’s some Croatian voice actor. | 他是個克羅地亞配音演員 |
| [15:35] | He does lots of puppet-based erotica. | 他給很多基於玩偶的情色作品配過音 |
| [15:38] | It’s a niche market, but he’s cornered it. | 這是個充滿商機的市場 不過他走投無路了 |
| [15:41] | What the fuck is wrong with you? | 你到底什麼毛病 |
| [15:42] | It’s not just Josip. | 不只是約瑟普 |
| [15:44] | Turns out there are dozens of other guys out there | 原來 外面有不少的人 |
| [15:47] | who do a perfect Jeff. | 能扮演完美的傑夫 |
| [15:48] | Jeff is the perfect Jeff. | 傑夫才是完美的傑夫 |
| [15:50] | Look. | 聽著 |
| [15:54] | Ever since Phil passed away, | 自打菲爾過世後 |
| [15:57] | I have been preparing for a day | 我一直在為我們 |
| [15:59] | when we might lose Jeff, too, | 可能失去傑夫的那一天做準備 |
| [16:01] | when we have to continue Mr. Pickles’ Puppet Time | 我們要在沒有酸瓜先生的情況下 |
| [16:04] | without Mr. Pickles. | 把”酸瓜先生的木偶時間”做下去 |
| [16:06] | You’re giving up on him. | 你要放棄他了 |
| [16:07] | – We’re gonna animate him. – Mm. | -我們要把他動畫化 -是嗎 |
| [16:09] | It’s the only way, and you know it. | 這是唯一的辦法 你知道的 |
| [16:11] | I don’t want to, | 我不想這麼做 |
| [16:12] | and we don’t have to start there, | 我們可以不這樣做 |
| [16:14] | but Dee Dee, listen to me. Think about it. | 但是迪迪 聽我說 你好好想想 |
| [16:17] | He’ll do whatever we need him to do. | 他會做我們需要他做的任何事 |
| [16:19] | He’ll say whatever we need him to say. | 他會說我們需要他說的任何話 |
| [16:22] | A Jeff that doesn’t shave his head, | 一個不會剃頭的傑夫 |
| [16:25] | a Jeff that doesn’t change, | 一個不會變的傑夫 |
| [16:27] | a Jeff that never dies. | 一個永遠不會死的傑夫 |
| [16:29] | Infinite Jeff. | 無窮盡的傑夫 |
| [16:32] | What the fuck are you talking about? | 你他媽在胡說什麼 |
| [16:35] | This show is all he has. | 這個秀是他擁有的一切 |
| [16:37] | You take it away from him, he’s gonna… | 你把它奪走的話 他會… |
| [16:38] | strap C-4 onto his belt and blow up an IHOP. | 在腰帶上綁上炸藥 把自己炸成碎片 |
| [16:43] | Jeff’s not coming back. | 傑夫不會回來的 |
| [16:44] | He’s already gone. | 他已經死了 |
| [16:46] | He died in a car | 他死在了一輛 |
| [16:48] | he wasn’t even in. | 他根本沒坐進去的車裏 |
| [16:49] | This is what’s best for him. | 這樣做對他才是最好的 |
| [16:51] | God sacrificed his only begotten son, | 上帝犧牲了他唯一的親生兒子 |
| [16:54] | but they got the Bible out of it, | 但是他們因此寫出了”聖經” |
| [16:56] | and that thing has been a Times bestseller | 那本書自1624年起 就是”時代”的 |
| [16:58] | since 1624. | 暢銷書 |
| [17:00] | Jeff would want his gospel to continue without him. | 傑夫會希望 即使沒有他 也能繼續傳播他的福音 |
| [17:04] | He’d want his show to continue without him. | 他會想讓這場秀 即使沒有他也能繼續下去 |
| [17:06] | He’s still here. | 他還在 |
| [17:10] | What do you think he’s gonna do when he’s a cartoon | 你覺得 如果他是個夾在海綿寶寶內褲和 |
| [17:12] | sandwiched between Spongebob Dickpants | 內褲寶寶海綿之間的卡通人物 |
| [17:15] | and Dickbob Spongepants? | 他會怎麼做呢 |
| [17:16] | We are losing control of him. | 我們快無法控制他了 |
| [17:18] | We need versions of him we can control, | 我們需要他的可控版本 |
| [17:21] | like the doll. | 就像玩偶一樣 |
| [17:24] | What doll? | 什麼玩偶 |
| [17:26] | Maddy, | 麥蒂 |
| [17:28] | do you like talking dolls? | 你喜歡會說話的玩偶嗎 |
| [17:33] | ToyCo has been begging us | 自從”折磨人的艾蒙”以來 |
| [17:35] | for a talking Jeff doll | 玩具公司一直求我們 |
| [17:37] | ever since molest-me Elmo. | 做一個會說話的傑夫娃娃 |
| [17:39] | This year, we’re finally gonna give it to them. | 今年 我們終於能給他們了 |
| [17:42] | We’re talking the hottest Christmas gift of the season. | 我們說的是當季最火的聖誕節禮物 |
| [17:46] | Introduce the shanks to the casserole. | 把小腿肉放進砂鍋裏 |
| [17:50] | Introduce the shanks to the casserole. | 把小腿肉放進砂鍋裏 |
| [17:58] | When Jeff sees how much the kids love the talking doll, | 當傑夫看到孩子們有多喜歡這個會說話的娃娃時 |
| [18:01] | he won’t even remember how pissed he got | 他甚至不會記得他對白雪溜冰團 |
| [18:03] | at the Ice Capades. | 有多生氣 |
| [18:04] | Don’t do an Ice Capades. | 別做白雪溜冰團 |
| [18:06] | Pickles On Ice! | 冰上的酸瓜 |
| [18:07] | Starring Tara Lipinski | 塔拉·利平斯基[美國花滑冠軍] |
| [18:09] | as Jeff Pickles… on ice. | 扮演冰上的… 傑夫·酸瓜 |
| [18:12] | The figure skater? | 花樣滑冰運動員嗎 |
| [18:14] | Correct. | 正確 |
| [18:16] | We do a live show, | 我們做現場秀 |
| [18:18] | we dress Tara up as Jeff, | 我們把塔拉扮成傑夫 |
| [18:20] | with a big Mr. Pickles head | 有酸瓜先生的大頭 |
| [18:22] | and a cute fuzzy tie. | 和可愛的毛絨領帶 |
| [18:24] | It’s a doll, but it’s big. | 是個娃娃 不過很大 |
| [18:26] | Or, we… | 或者 我們… |
| [18:29] | rent a canoe and take Jeff fishing. | 租一條獨木舟 帶傑夫去釣魚 |
| [18:31] | He likes lakes. | 他喜歡湖泊 |
| [18:36] | You’re gonna break him. | 你會讓他崩潰的 |
| [18:38] | He’s gonna break us. | 他會讓我們崩潰的 |
| [18:39] | That’s why we have to train the market. | 所以我們要培育市場 |
| [18:42] | Ice Pickles, the doll, | 冰上的酸瓜 娃娃 |
| [18:44] | the cartoon… | 卡通… |
| [18:45] | the seamless vertical integration | 天衣無縫的縱向合併 |
| [18:48] | of a man we both love. | 為了一個我們都愛的男人 |
| [18:52] | Please, Dee Dee. | 拜託 迪迪 |
| [18:54] | Build me this other Jeff. | 為我再造一個傑夫 |
| [18:57] | Don’t ask me to do that. | 別要求我那麼做 |
| [18:58] | Honey, | 親愛的 |
| [19:00] | if not you, who? | 除了你 還能有誰呢 |
| [19:06] | What do I do about her? | 我該拿她怎麼辦 |
| [19:08] | Dee Dee, take it from me. | 迪迪 相信我 |
| [19:09] | Sometimes all your kids need is a hug. | 有時候 你們這些孩子只是需要一個擁抱 |
| [19:17] | Voila. | 好了 |
| [19:19] | No, dude, like this. | 不 夥計 像這樣 |
| [19:22] | I don’t get why we’re doing this. | 我不明白我們為什麼要這麼做 |
| [19:23] | Yo, curb the negativity, man. | 別這麼消極啊 哥們 |
| [19:26] | Negativity leads to intestinal failure. | 消極心理會導致腸衰竭 |
| [19:30] | Hey, dude, be real with me for a sec. | 兄弟 跟我說實話 |
| [19:33] | Is it true your dad was a sniper during the wars? | 你爸爸在戰爭期間真的是個狙擊手嗎 |
| [19:36] | I don’t think so. | 我覺得不是 |
| [19:38] | ‘Cause the Internet says | 因為網上說 |
| [19:39] | that he aced, like, three dozen hajis. | 他打死了三打伊斯蘭教徒 |
| [19:42] | Reagan called him “The Butcher of Beirut” | 裏根稱他是”貝魯特屠夫” |
| [19:45] | and gave him a secret medal. | 還給了他一枚秘密獎章 |
| [19:46] | I mean, check it out. | 你們看看 |
| [19:49] | I think I would know if my dad | 我覺得 如果我爸殺了 |
| [19:51] | killed a bunch of Lebanese people. | 一群黎巴嫩人 我會知道的 |
| [19:53] | Would you? | 你會嗎 |
| [19:55] | Hey, let’s get these. | 我們來玩這個 |
| [19:57] | Do you think your dad’s gonna kill | 你覺得你爸爸會殺了 |
| [19:59] | your mom’s new boyfriend? | 你媽媽的新男友嗎 |
| [20:01] | No. | 不會 |
| [20:03] | That wouldn’t be nice. | 那可不好 |
| [20:05] | My dad’s a lot of things, but he isn’t rude. | 我爸性格多變 但他不粗魯 |
| [20:08] | Yeah, murder is rude. | 對啊 謀殺很粗魯 |
| [20:11] | So, is… he a dick? | 所以 他是個… 混蛋嗎 |
| [20:14] | – Who, Peter? – Yeah. | -誰 彼得嗎 -對 |
| [20:16] | No, he’s pretty cool. | 不 他挺好的 |
| [20:19] | When he looks at me, | 當他看著我的時候 |
| [20:21] | it’s… it’s weird. | 很… 很怪 |
| [20:23] | It’s like… | 就像是… |
| [20:24] | he… he actually sees me. | 他… 他真的看到了我 |
| [20:26] | As opposed to… | 而不是… |
| [20:28] | My brother. | 我哥哥 |
| [20:29] | Everyone else… my mom, my dad, | 其他人… 我媽 我爸 |
| [20:32] | my teachers… they look at me, | 我的老師… 他們看著我 |
| [20:34] | and I think they see both of us. | 看到的是我們兩個人 |
| [20:37] | Sometimes it’s nice not to feel like the living dead. | 有時候我不想被看成是活死人 |
| [20:40] | What about the other times? | 其他時候呢 |
| [20:43] | Phil used to do all this | 菲爾以前 |
| [20:45] | messed-up stuff to other kids, | 對其他孩子做過各種壞事 |
| [20:47] | and then they would come and beat me up. | 然後他們就會來打我 |
| [20:49] | – They thought I was him. – That’s unfortunate. | -他們以為你是他 -太不幸了 |
| [20:53] | I sorta miss it. | 我還有點想念 |
| [20:59] | Let’s go, lesbians. | 走吧 姬佬們 |
| [21:01] | We have eight more neighborhoods to hit. | 我們還要走八個街區呢 |
| [21:03] | He thinks I look like a girl. | 他覺得我長得像女孩子 |
| [21:04] | I like your hair. | 我喜歡你的頭髮 |
| [21:06] | – Oh, yeah? – Yeah. | -哦 真的嗎 -真的 |
| [21:07] | If you cut it, I’ll never talk to you again. | 如果你剪了 我就再也不和你說話了 |
| [21:11] | Maddy. Maddy! | 麥蒂 麥蒂 |
| [21:13] | Maddy, we’re not getting divorced! | 麥蒂 我們不會離婚的 |
| [21:18] | I don’t know why you think that, | 我不知道你為什麼這麼想 |
| [21:20] | but we’re not. | 但我們不會離婚 |
| [21:23] | Okay? | 好嗎 |
| [21:25] | Okay. | 好 |
| [21:28] | And that thing you saw your dad do, | 還有 你看到你爸做的那件事 |
| [21:29] | the secret handshake with Mr. Farpopolis? | 和法波波利斯先生的秘密握手 |
| [21:34] | Don’t ask him about it. | 別問他這事 |
| [21:37] | Ever. | 永遠都別問 |
| [21:41] | Never. | 永不 |
| [21:49] | See? | 看到了嗎 |
| [21:54] | Neuroplasticity. | 神經可塑性 |
| [21:57] | What an exciting crossword diagonal that would make. | 多棒的填字遊戲空格啊 |
| [22:02] | I had a really nice time tonight. | 我今晚真的很愉快 |
| [22:04] | It’s always a privilege to meet a new friend, | 結交新朋友總是很榮幸 |
| [22:08] | and it’s a special privilege when that new friend | 如果能結交到一個超棒的朋友 |
| [22:10] | is a remarkable person. | 那就是特別榮幸 |
| [22:13] | – So do you want to come up… – How did you ever… | -所以你想上來… -你怎麼… |
| [22:15] | Sorry, sorry. You go. | 抱歉 抱歉 你先說 |
| [22:18] | You used to have a moustache made of narcotics. | 你以前沉迷毒品 |
| [22:23] | But you replaced it with a beautiful smile. | 但你用美麗的笑容取代了它 |
| [22:26] | I’d love to go on a journey like that. | 我也想那樣 |
| [22:29] | I don’t know how to start. | 我不知道怎樣開始 |
| [22:31] | Where’d you get your strength from? | 你從哪裏得到的力量 |
| [22:36] | Sorry, I thought that was obvious. | 抱歉 我還以為那很明顯 |
| [22:41] | You. | 是你 |
| [22:49] | Me. | 我 |
| [22:53] | So… do you want to come up? | 所以… 你想上來嗎 |
| [22:58] | No, I’d better get back. | 不 我還是回去吧 |
| [23:01] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [23:04] | Thank you, Shaina. | 謝謝你 謝娜 |
| [23:06] | Oh. Thank you. | 謝謝你 |
| [23:14] | You saved me. | 你救了我 |
| [23:38] | No, we can’t go in there. | 不 我們不能進去 |
| [23:40] | We’re having sex! | 我們在做愛 |
| [23:42] | Oh, sorry. Have a lovely evening. | 抱歉 祝你們晚上愉快 |
| [23:58] | Dear Shaina, | 親愛的謝娜 |
| [24:00] | thank you for dinner. | 謝謝你的晚餐 |
| [24:02] | Even though I enjoyed our conversation, | 雖然我很喜歡我們的會面 |
| [24:05] | I don’t think we should see each other anymore. | 但我覺得我們不該繼續約會了 |
| [24:08] | “You saved me.” | “你救了我” |
| [24:11] | Those are words I’ve heard so many times over the years, | 這些年來 我已經聽了無數遍這種話了 |
| [24:14] | in so many different ways. | 以各種方式 |
| [24:16] | I used to like hearing those words, | 我以前喜歡聽這些話 |
| [24:18] | but I don’t anymore. | 現在不再喜歡了 |
| [24:20] | It’s a lot of responsibility to save people. | 拯救別人需要負很大的責任 |
| [24:24] | Maybe learning what I don’t want | 也許 學習我不想知道的東西 |
| [24:26] | is the first step on the climb | 是學習我做事的 |
| [24:27] | to learning what I do. | 第一步 |
| [24:30] | Thank you for teaching me that. | 謝謝你教我這件事 |
| [24:33] | See you at the summit. | 峰會再見 |
| [24:36] | Fondly, Mr. P. | 天真的 酸瓜先生 |
| [24:40] | No. | 不 |
| [24:44] | Jeff. | 傑夫 |
| [24:46] | Hey, does your place have, like, water? | 嘿 你家有水嗎 |
| [24:57] | Alcohol can be so dehydrating. | 喝酒太容易口渴了 |
| [25:02] | Here you are. | 給你 |
| [25:03] | Why are you inside a space otter? | 你為什麼穿著宇航員水獺的衣服 |
| [25:07] | Can I have a space otter? | 我能有一隻宇航員水獺嗎 |
| [25:12] | Whoop! | 哈 |
| [25:14] | My hands are sticky. | 我的手黏在一起了 |
| [25:16] | Oh, here, let me help you. | 噢 來 我幫你 |
| [25:25] | Thank you. | 謝謝你 |
| [25:31] | How did I get in here? | 我怎麼進來的 |
| [25:35] | I carried you. | 我把你抱進來的 |
| [25:40] | You rescued me. | 你救了我 |
| [25:43] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [25:44] | I-I need to say this now, | 我 我現在就得說 |
| [25:46] | because tomorrow, it’ll feel embarrassing. | 因為明天我就會覺得很尷尬 |
| [25:51] | But… | 但… |
| [25:53] | just living on your same hallway | 只是和你住在同一條走廊裏 |
| [25:55] | is, like, so inspiring. | 就很鼓舞人心了 |
| [25:59] | Like, you make me want to be a better person | 你讓我想變得更好 |
| [26:03] | like the kind of person my mom thinks I am. | 變成我媽想讓我變成的人 |
| [26:07] | What’s embarrassing about that? | 這有什麼好尷尬的 |
| [26:15] | I’m sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [26:18] | I’m so sorry. | 太對不起了 |
| [26:20] | Here, uh, | 給你 |
| [26:22] | drink your water, | 喝水 |
| [26:24] | and I’ll be in the kitchen, | 我會在廚房裏 |
| [26:27] | and, uh, if you need more, | 如果你還要水 |
| [26:29] | just… say “More.” | 就… 說”還要” |
| [26:32] | More. | 還要 |
| [26:38] | Good night. | 晚安 |
| [26:41] | Aren’t you tired of always doing the right thing? | 你一直做正確的事不累嗎 |
| [26:52] | Oh, am I hurting you? | 我傷到你了嗎 |
| [26:54] | No. | 沒有 |
| [26:55] | – You sure? – Yeah. | -你確定 -對 |
| [27:14] | Abracadabra. | 嘛哩嘛哩哄 |
| [27:40] | I just see you. | 我的眼裏只有你 |
| [28:06] | Little bit of harmony now. | 現在協調點兒了 |