| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 | 
|---|---|---|
| [00:04] | I found out what the P in “P-Hound” stands for. | 我知道”P獵狗”裏的P是什麼意思了 | 
| [00:06] | Now every time I see the letter P, | 現在 我一看到字母P | 
| [00:08] | I think of the word “pussy.” | 我就會想到”孬種”這個詞 | 
| [00:09] | We are losing control of him. | 我們快無法控制他了 | 
| [00:11] | We need versions of him we can control. | 我們需要他的可控版本 | 
| [00:14] | This is the drawer of letters from women. | 這一抽屜的信都是一些女人寫的 | 
| [00:17] | This one’s from Akron. | 這封信是從阿克倫城寄來的 | 
| [00:18] | You know, it’s only two hours away. | 距這裏就兩個小時的路程 | 
| [00:20] | Give her a call. Buy her some cheesecake. | 給她打個電話 買個芝士蛋糕 | 
| [00:24] | Married. | 我已婚 | 
| [00:25] | In six weeks, I’m gonna be dead. | 6周後 我就會死掉 | 
| [01:11] | This job is hard. | 這工作太難了 | 
| [01:13] | This job’s the easiest shit I’ve done my whole fucking life. | 這是我他媽這輩子做過的最簡單的工作了 | 
| [01:16] | No, pickles make me sad now. | 我現在看到酸黃瓜都笑不起來了 | 
| [01:18] | I see pickles, I see that dead Pickle boy on the road. | 看到酸黃瓜 我就會想到酸瓜先生的兒子躺在路中間 | 
| [01:21] | I see his family suffering. | 他家人痛哭流涕的場面 | 
| [01:23] | I see pickles, I see tears. | 看到酸黃瓜 我就想到眼淚 | 
| [01:27] | Why you fucking do that? | 你他媽為什麼要這麼做 | 
| [01:29] | Now I see it, too. | 現在 我也看到了眼淚 | 
| [01:30] | Fuck, Sheila. | 操 希拉 | 
| [01:31] | Ruining pickles and shit. | 你破壞了我對這些酸黃瓜的感情 | 
| [01:33] | Fuck you, Sheila. | 操你媽 希拉 | 
| [01:46] | Murderer! | 殺人犯 | 
| [02:26] | Thank you for a lovely evening. | 謝謝你昨晚陪我共度良宵 | 
| [02:52] | Why do you feel guilty? | 你為什麼會覺得內疚 | 
| [02:54] | I like you. | 我喜歡你 | 
| [02:55] | I like Vivian. | 我喜歡薇薇安 | 
| [02:56] | I don’t like having feelings for two people. | 我不喜歡自己同時喜歡兩個人的感覺 | 
| [02:59] | – It’s selfish. – Don’t feel bad. | -太自私了 -不要覺得不好 | 
| [03:00] | I don’t feel bad. I feel incredible. | 我沒有覺得不好 我覺得難以置信 | 
| [03:03] | I feel like I’ve discovered the South Pole. | 就像是我發現了南極一樣 | 
| [03:05] | I don’t want you to feel bad. | 我不想讓你感覺不好 | 
| [03:07] | I don’t want to hurt you. | 我不想傷害你 | 
| [03:09] | You’re never gonna not be important to me. | 對我而言 你一直都是很重要的人 | 
| [03:12] | You’re never gonna not be important to me. | 對我而言 你也一直都是很重要的人 | 
| [03:15] | Well, I think it’s great, too. | 我也覺得挺好的 | 
| [03:18] | Just the other night, I was thinking to myself, | 有天晚上 我自己在想 | 
| [03:20] | “Are there any ladies that I know | “我認識的女人裏 | 
| [03:23] | who would be a good match for Jeff?” | 有沒有和傑夫很配的” | 
| [03:25] | And… literally nobody came to mind. | 然而… 我想了想 沒有人 | 
| [03:28] | Thanks, Giant P. | 謝了 巨P | 
| [03:29] | – I thought it was Big P. – Was it? | -我以為是大P -是嗎 | 
| [03:31] | I’m not hurt. I’m not upset. | 我沒有受傷 沒有不開心 | 
| [03:32] | I’m offering you many… | 對於你新的開始… | 
| [03:34] | blessings and much good luck here on your new relationship. | 我只有真心的祝福和期許 | 
| [03:39] | Don’t worry. It’s just temporary. | 不用擔心 我只是暫時心動 | 
| [03:40] | It doesn’t have to be temporary. | 不暫時 長久心動也可以呀 | 
| [03:43] | It does. | 是暫時的 | 
| [03:46] | What does that mean? | 那是什麼意思 | 
| [03:55] | 亲爱的薇薇安 我能和你再见面吗 | |
| [03:56] | 亲爱的薇薇安 我能和你再见面吗? 深情的 杰夫酸瓜先生 | |
| [04:07] | Hello? Rex? | 雷克斯 在嗎 | 
| [04:09] | I have a piano question. | 我有一個關於鋼琴的問題要問你 | 
| [04:16] | I see your car! | 你的車在外面 我看見了 | 
| [04:21] | Are you gonna put it under your pillow this time | 你是要把牙齒放在枕頭下呢 | 
| [04:23] | or hide it from the Tooth Fairy? | 還是藏起來不讓牙僊子知道 | 
| [04:25] | I don’t hide them. | 我不會藏起來 | 
| [04:26] | I lose them sometimes. | 前幾次我弄丟了 | 
| [04:31] | Hey, Dad. | 爸爸 | 
| [04:32] | I lost my tooth in my breakfast panini. | 我早上吃三明治早餐的時候 牙齒掉了 | 
| [04:35] | I’m not going to work today. I have the flu. | 我今天不去上班了 得了流感 | 
| [04:38] | – It really sucks. – Where does it hurt? | -難受死了 -哪裏不舒服 | 
| [04:40] | Ugh, all over my body. I-I need to go to bed. | 渾身疼 我得去床上躺一下 | 
| [04:42] | I need fluids. | 我需要喝點流質 | 
| [04:44] | I can’t go to work today or tomorrow, maybe ever. | 我今天和明天都沒辦法上班了 可能一直都去不了了 | 
| [04:47] | I do not want to be a corporate travel agent. | 我不想當一個商務旅行代理 | 
| [04:50] | Why am I a corporate travel agent? | 我為什麼要做個商務旅行代理 | 
| [04:52] | Are you crying? | 你在哭嗎 | 
| [04:53] | It’s the flu. | 因為流感 | 
| [04:55] | I’ll make soup. | 我去做點湯 | 
| [04:57] | Actually, people are saying yogurt is the new soup. | 其實 人們都說酸奶是一種新型的湯 | 
| [05:00] | ♪ I’ll put up no resistance ♪ | ♪ 我不會再忍氣吞聲 ♪ | 
| [05:03] | ♪ I wanna stay the distance ♪ | ♪ 我想保持距離 ♪ | 
| [05:06] | ♪ I’ve got an itch to scratch ♪ | ♪ 我瘙癢難耐 ♪ | 
| [05:09] | ♪ I need assistance ♪ | ♪ 需要一些幫助 ♪ | 
| [05:12] | ♪ Touch-a ♪ | ♪ 撫摸 ♪ | 
| [05:17] | I’m waiting for a text message. | 我在等短信 | 
| [05:22] | ♪ I wanna be dirty ♪ | ♪ 我想變壞 ♪ | 
| [05:26] | How much longer do you think we have? | 你覺得我們還要等多久 | 
| [05:27] | – As a species? – Mm… | -作為一個物種嗎 -對… | 
| [05:30] | until the roof caves in. | 直到屋頂塌下來 | 
| [05:33] | Till there’s no this anymore. | 直到再也不會出現這種情況 | 
| [05:34] | Until Jeff can’t function as host or human. | 直到傑夫當不了主持人或者人類 | 
| [05:37] | It all depends on him. | 全部都取決於他 | 
| [05:38] | Could be weeks. Could be months. | 可能要幾個星期 也可能要幾個月 | 
| [05:41] | I can’t predict the future, and I’m not good | 我預測不了未來 我也不擅長 | 
| [05:43] | at guessing weight from a distance, | 對未來做什麼預測 | 
| [05:45] | but if you get close to him, | 但是 如果你離他再近一點 | 
| [05:47] | you can hear the air hissing out of the balloon. | 你能聽到氣球漏氣的滋滋聲 | 
| [05:50] | And what do I do, then? | 那我該怎麼辦呢 | 
| [05:51] | You’re gonna be home alone all day | 你會整天在家裏 | 
| [05:55] | with your family… | 陪你的家人… | 
| [05:57] | That screaming banshee child… | 那個尖叫的小女妖… | 
| [06:00] | And let’s face it, | 我們直說吧 | 
| [06:01] | that marriage that has always had one foot | 你的婚姻已經一腳 | 
| [06:04] | on a pile of red ants. | 踩進了一堆紅螞蟻上 | 
| [06:05] | Fuck you, red ants! Scott’s the love of my life. | 去你的紅螞蟻 斯科特是我這一生的摯愛 | 
| [06:09] | And Maddy… she lost a tooth this morning, | 而麥蒂…早上掉了一顆牙 | 
| [06:12] | and I was like, “Put it under your pillow,” | 我說 “把牙齒放你枕頭下面” | 
| [06:14] | And I cannot wait to get home later | 我迫不及待想回家 | 
| [06:16] | and find her tooth under her pillow. | 去枕頭下看看她的牙齒 | 
| [06:19] | Everybody wants to feel like they’re a good parent. | 每個人都想被人認為是好家長 | 
| [06:22] | Nobody wants to act like one. | 沒有人想模仿別人 | 
| [06:24] | Do me a favor | 幫我個忙 | 
| [06:25] | and picture your brother as a mascot | 把你兄弟想像成個吉祥物 | 
| [06:28] | to your favorite Chinese softball team, huh? | 比如 你最喜歡的中國壘球隊 | 
| [06:31] | Would he look like this? | 他會是這個樣子嗎 | 
| [06:37] | That’s traumatizing. | 這有點嚇人啊 | 
| [06:40] | – He has a dick nose. – Yeah. | -他鼻子很大 -對 | 
| [06:42] | It’s Jeff’s head for the Ice Capades. | 傑夫版的白雪溜冰團 | 
| [06:44] | I outsourced it to Vietnam. | 我把他外包給越南了 | 
| [06:45] | It’s shitty. You can do better. | 太濫了 但是可以做得更好的 | 
| [06:47] | I can’t replace Jeff with a Styrofoam head | 我沒辦法想像傑夫帶著一個塑料泡沫頭 | 
| [06:49] | and then look him in the eye over osso buco. | 然後透過這炯炯有神的裝飾裏看他的眼 | 
| [06:51] | Welcome to the world of exciting internal conflict. | 歡迎來到激動人心的內部紛爭世界 | 
| [06:55] | Build me a Jeff, please. | 幫我重建個傑夫吧 | 
| [06:57] | I know this is gonna come as a surprise to you, | 我知道這會讓你大吃一驚 | 
| [06:59] | but I’m not gonna be around much longer. | 但我沒多長時間可活了 | 
| [07:01] | My father died at 68. | 我父親68歲死的 | 
| [07:04] | I’m on borrowed time. | 我的時間是借的 | 
| [07:05] | I’d like all this to be yours someday. | 我希望某一天 這一切都歸你 | 
| [07:08] | Since when? | 什麼時候哦 | 
| [07:09] | If not you, who? | 不是你的話 還能是誰 | 
| [07:11] | But if we want to keep this shop open, | 但是 如果我們想繼續幹下去 | 
| [07:12] | first, we need to build another Jeff… | 首先 我們要創造另一個… | 
| [07:15] | on ice. | 冰上傑夫 | 
| [07:17] | The original is out to sea. | 原來的傑夫已經神遊大海去了 | 
| [07:22] | I don’t want to hurt anyone. | 我不想傷害任何人 | 
| [07:24] | Hurt who? | 傷害誰 | 
| [07:26] | Jill, Will… anyone. | 吉爾 威爾…任何人 | 
| [07:28] | I mean, this, for example. | 比如這個 | 
| [07:30] | What if a kid watched this, | 要是一個孩子看了這個 | 
| [07:31] | put a barrel on, attached a bedsheet to it, | 跳進一個桶裏 掛上一張床單 | 
| [07:34] | and tried to parachute over Niagara Falls? | 並試著在尼亞加拉瀑布上空跳傘呢 | 
| [07:36] | Chances would not be good. | 倖存的幾率不會太高 | 
| [07:38] | We’ve been using that same visually arresting sequence | 我們一直在用相同的系列場景 | 
| [07:41] | to transition you from the real world | 把你從真實世界 | 
| [07:43] | to Pickle Barrel Falls for 30 years. | 轉換到酸瓜桶瀑布30年了 | 
| [07:45] | And no child has ever tried this? | 沒有任何孩子這樣嘗試過嗎 | 
| [07:47] | I promise you, we would’ve heard. | 我向你保證 有的話我們會聽說的 | 
| [07:50] | Why are you questioning this now? | 你為什麼現在問這個 | 
| [07:52] | Shaina, from Akron. | 亞克朗市的謝娜 | 
| [07:55] | We shared the cheesecake. | 我們一起吃過奶酪蛋糕 | 
| [07:56] | A moment from this show saved her life. | 這個節目的某一刻拯救了她 | 
| [07:59] | If that’s true, one moment from this show | 如果這是真的 要是我們不小心 | 
| [08:01] | could take a life, if we’re not careful. | 這個節目可能會奪走一條生命 | 
| [08:03] | It’s a puppet show. It’s not a cursed monkey paw. | 這是個木偶戲 這不是一個詛咒的猴爪 | 
| [08:05] | – Do I have texts? – I don’t know. | -我收到信息了嗎 -我不知道 | 
| [08:07] | That’s a cell phone that uses AA batteries. | 這種手機使用AA電池 | 
| [08:10] | You want to change something? | 你想換嗎 | 
| [08:11] | Upgrade your gizmos. | 給裝備升升級 | 
| [08:12] | How’d things go with Shaina from Akron? | 與亞克朗市的謝娜進展如何 | 
| [08:15] | – We didn’t really connect. – Oh, that’s too bad. | -沒什麼共同語言 -噢 太糟了 | 
| [08:18] | I met someone else, though. | 我交了其他朋友 | 
| [08:19] | Really? On the same night? | 真的嗎 同一個晚上嗎 | 
| [08:21] | Her name is Vivian. | 她叫薇薇安 | 
| [08:22] | I love that name. She sounds gorgeous. | 那名字不錯 聽起來很美 | 
| [08:24] | – Now tell me about her. – She’s younger than me. | -現在跟我說說她 -她比我年輕 | 
| [08:26] | That’s fine, as long as she’s not | 這很好 只要她沒在克羅格超市外 | 
| [08:27] | selling Do-Si-Dos outside the Kroger. | 賣東西就成 | 
| [08:29] | – She has a lovely smile. – Aw, terrific. | -她的微笑很美 -太棒了 | 
| [08:32] | And the doctors give her about six weeks. | 醫生給了她大約6周時間 | 
| [08:41] | Where you off to, Jimmy? | 吉米 你去哪 | 
| [08:42] | Pickle Barrel Falls. | 酸瓜桶瀑布 | 
| [08:43] | Okay, honey, have fun. | 好的 寶貝 玩的開心 | 
| [08:45] | Bye, Mom. | 拜 媽媽 | 
| [08:49] | Here we go! | 出發了 | 
| [08:57] | What are you trying to do, Ennui La Triste? | 你想幹嘛 無聊的特裏斯特 | 
| [08:59] | Because my tongue is cheese, I cannot whistle! | 因為我的舌頭是奶酪 我吹不了口哨 | 
| [09:02] | Quel fromage. | 怎樣的奶酪啊 | 
| [09:05] | Come on, you stale breadstick. | 不是吧 你這個變味的麵包棒 | 
| [09:08] | Whistling is easy. | 吹口哨很容易的 | 
| [09:13] | Mm, never mind. | 算了 | 
| [09:15] | Ennui, in my experience, | 無聊 以我的經驗 | 
| [09:17] | everyone has a little tune in their heart, | 每個人心中都有一個小旋律 | 
| [09:19] | and if you listen closely, | 如果你仔細聽 | 
| [09:21] | it always finds a way out. | 你總能聽到 | 
| [09:30] | Now you try. | 現在你試試 | 
| [09:40] | And then I loved her in the pussy. | 然後我和她大幹了一場 | 
| [09:44] | Wow. | 哇 | 
| [09:45] | I know. | 我知道 | 
| [09:47] | I tried texting her, but there’s no response. | 我試著給她發信息 但沒有回復 | 
| [09:50] | Didn’t you say she was terminally ill? | 你不是說她身患絕癥嗎 | 
| [09:52] | No, that’s just the opinion of three doctors. | 不 那只是3位醫生的看法 | 
| [09:55] | Her attitude would suggest | 她的態度 | 
| [09:56] | an entirely different prognosis. | 體現出一種完全不同的情況 | 
| [09:58] | But what do I know? I’m not three doctors. | 但我不知道 我又不是3位醫生 | 
| [10:01] | What can you do, Jeff? | 你還能做什麼 傑夫 | 
| [10:03] | I hate to think that last night didn’t mean anything to her. | 我討厭去認為昨晚對她毫無意義 | 
| [10:05] | Maybe your phone’s broken. | 也許你的手機壞了 | 
| [10:07] | That’s why she hasn’t responded. | 因此她沒回復 | 
| [10:09] | – Did you think of that? – That’s it. | -你想過了嗎 -對啦 | 
| [10:12] | You’re probably right. | 你也許是對的 | 
| [10:14] | What a dopey-dope. | 多蠢啊 | 
| [10:18] | – Hi, Dad. – Hello, my boy. | -嗨 爸爸 -嗨 兒子 | 
| [10:22] | You asked when it all ends. | 你問我這什麼時候會結束 | 
| [10:24] | – I… – Six weeks. | -我… -6周 | 
| [10:25] | When the cancer lady he’s falling for bites it, | 當他愛上的絕癥女士去世時 | 
| [10:28] | that’s when he pops. | 他就會出問題 | 
| [10:29] | Not a lot of time, but we can get the ice show on its feet | 沒太多時間 但我們能把冰上節目搞起來 | 
| [10:32] | and rush the doll for Christmas. | 並奔向聖誕節 | 
| [10:38] | Will. | 威爾 | 
| [10:39] | You back here? | 你回來了嗎 | 
| [10:40] | I could use some technical support. | 我需要些技術上的支持 | 
| [10:46] | Whoa, it’s you. | 哇 是你 | 
| [10:48] | Your pineapple is smoking. | 你的菠蘿在冒煙 | 
| [10:49] | Yeah, I call it the Mind-dozer. | 是的 我把它稱作精神催眠劑 | 
| [10:52] | It’s practically made the apple bong obsolete. | 它真的淘汰了蘋果煙槍 | 
| [10:55] | Plus, when you’re done, you can chop it up and eat it, | 而且 抽完了之後 你能把它切開吃掉 | 
| [10:58] | get you manganese. | 補充點錳元素 | 
| [11:00] | Have you seen my son? | 你看到我兒子了嗎 | 
| [11:01] | Just because I’ve seen him in a place | 就算我在某個地方見過他 | 
| [11:03] | doesn’t mean he’s actually in that place, you know? | 也不代表他真的就在那個地方 知道嗎 | 
| [11:06] | Meaning, he could’ve left that place. | 意思是 他可能離開了那地方 | 
| [11:08] | Well, could you point to where you saw him last? | 那你能指出你最後一次見到他的地方嗎 | 
| [11:11] | Narc-ing on an acquaintance | 告朋友的密 | 
| [11:13] | would violate every principle I hold dear. | 會破壞我所有的原則 親愛的 | 
| [11:17] | Hey, is it true you killed a bunch of Lebanese people | 喂 這是真的嗎 你在中情局當狙擊手的時候 | 
| [11:19] | when you were a sniper for the CIA? | 殺了一群黎巴嫩人 | 
| [11:23] | What did you say? | 你說啥 | 
| [11:24] | The Dark Web knows all secrets, man. | 暗網知道所有秘密 夥計 | 
| [11:26] | You shouldn’t believe every rumor you read. | 你不該相信你讀的每個謠言 | 
| [11:42] | Truth is, I wouldn’t know the first thing | 說真的 我完全不知道 | 
| [11:45] | about lining up an innocent man’s peach pit | 在1000碼開外 | 
| [11:47] | from 1,000 yards out… | 把一個無辜的人爆頭… | 
| [11:50] | pink misting him through his kitchen window. | 透過他的廚房窗戶讓他花開四濺的感覺 | 
| [11:54] | I’ve never been to Lebanon or Iran, | 我從未去過黎巴嫩或伊朗 | 
| [11:56] | never known the thrill of sipping | 從不知道在幹掉我的 | 
| [11:58] | the Shah’s contraband tequila | 第100個目標後 | 
| [12:00] | from the cold navel of my 100th kill. | 喝一口國王的違禁龍舌蘭酒的快感 | 
| [12:04] | Nor can I appreciate the years of training and tenacity | 我也不會感謝多年的訓練和毅力 | 
| [12:06] | it would take to draw an imaginary line | 幫我在心跳和扳機指[腱鞘炎]之間 | 
| [12:09] | between my heartbeat and my trigger finger. | 劃出一條假想的界限 | 
| [12:14] | Never done those things. | 我從沒做過那些事情 | 
| [12:17] | I could never take a man’s life. | 我絕對不會奪走某個人的生命 | 
| [12:21] | But I’ve heard it’s as easy | 但是 我聽說 | 
| [12:23] | as popping a pimple. | 那跟擠粉刺一樣簡單 | 
| [12:38] | I think Will’s over there, man. | 我覺得威爾在那邊 哥們 | 
| [12:40] | Thanks for your help. | 謝謝你的幫助 | 
| [12:43] | You’re a good helper. | 你真是個好幫手 | 
| [12:45] | All right, pick a card, any card. | 好的 挑一張牌 隨便哪張 | 
| [12:49] | – Should I show you? – No. | -我要給你看嗎 -不用 | 
| [12:50] | Don’t… don’t show me. | 別… 別給我看 | 
| [12:52] | Now, uh, sign the Bicycle side of the card. | 現在 在印了自行車標誌的那面簽名 | 
| [12:55] | Will? | 威爾 | 
| [12:56] | Could you come with me to the phone store? | 你能跟我去趟手機店嗎 | 
| [12:58] | This thing is broken. I don’t know what to do. | 這玩意兒壞了 我不知道該怎麼辦 | 
| [13:02] | So you… you think your phone is broken | 所以你… 你覺得你的手機壞了 | 
| [13:04] | because this woman you just met didn’t respond? | 因為這個你剛認識的女人沒回你消息 | 
| [13:06] | We spent a whole night together. | 我們整晚都待在一起 | 
| [13:08] | We told each other things you can never tell a stranger. | 告訴了對方絕對不可能告訴陌生人的事情 | 
| [13:11] | We made love. | 我們還做愛了 | 
| [13:14] | There’s something wrong with this. | 這手機肯定出毛病了 | 
| [13:20] | Yeah, uh… it looks okay to me. | 好吧…我覺得它沒問題啊 | 
| [13:24] | Could you take in the back just to make sure? | 你可以拿到後面去確認一下嗎 | 
| [13:27] | I’d feel better. | 這樣我會感覺好點 | 
| [13:27] | Sure. Sure. | 當然 當然 | 
| [13:30] | Just… | 只是… | 
| [13:32] | Yeah, which account is this phone registered under? | 好吧 這台手機是註冊在哪個賬戶下的 | 
| [13:35] | I have your name associated with two plans… | 你的名字綁了兩個套餐… | 
| [13:37] | One ending in 4356, another in 7864. | 一個尾號是4356 另一個是7864 | 
| [13:39] | – Yeah, the first one. – Okay. | -對的 第一個 -好的 | 
| [13:43] | We will get to the bottom of this. | 我們會徹底查明原因的 | 
| [13:45] | – Great. – Okay. | -好極了 -好的 | 
| [13:46] | Okay. | 好的 | 
| [13:49] | Hey… | 那個… | 
| [13:50] | do you think that maybe I could get a, uh… | 你覺得我能不能要一個… | 
| [13:53] | a new phone, one with a, uh, alphanumeric keyboard? | 新手機 這種有字母數字鍵盤的 | 
| [13:58] | What do you need that for? | 你要這來幹什麼 | 
| [14:01] | Whose, uh… whose phone number ends in 7864? | 誰的… 誰的手機號尾號是7864啊 | 
| [14:06] | What? | 什麼 | 
| [14:07] | He, uh… he said that you have two numbers. | 他… 他說你有兩個手機號 | 
| [14:13] | The other number belongs to a man | 另一個號屬於一個男人 | 
| [14:16] | who hurt his back so badly that he can’t work anymore, | 他背部受傷太嚴重 以致於無法繼續工作 | 
| [14:18] | so I pay for some of his necessities, | 所以我替他支付一部分生活必需品的費用 | 
| [14:21] | like his phone and his rent and his daughter’s education. | 比如他的手機 房租 和女兒的學費 | 
| [14:25] | How did he get hurt? | 他是怎麼受傷的 | 
| [14:27] | He was driving the truck that hit you and Phil that day. | 他開著那天撞到你和菲爾的那輛卡車 | 
| [14:35] | Don’t you hate that guy? | 你難道不恨他嗎 | 
| [14:37] | Hate doesn’t punish who you think it does. | 仇恨並不會懲罰你以為它會懲罰的人 | 
| [14:41] | Well, I had our… | 好吧 我讓我們的… | 
| [14:43] | best technicians take a look, | 最好的技術員看了一下 | 
| [14:45] | and there doesn’t seem to be anything wrong with the phone. | 看起來這手機並沒有任何問題 | 
| [14:54] | That’s unfortunate. | 這真是不幸 | 
| [14:56] | Um, look, Mr. Pickles… here’s the thing. | 你看 酸瓜先生… 是這樣的 | 
| [15:00] | Can I tell you what I think really happened? | 我能告訴你 我認為真正發生了什麼嗎 | 
| [15:02] | I-I don’t think that your phone is broken. | 我 我不覺得是你的手機壞了 | 
| [15:05] | I think that, uh, it’s hers that’s broken, | 我覺得 是她的手機壞了 | 
| [15:08] | and that’s why she’s not responding. | 所以她才沒回你短信 | 
| [15:12] | That makes sense. | 有道理 | 
| [15:13] | I knew there was a reason I brought you. | 我就知道我帶你來是有原因的 | 
| [15:15] | He’s the family computer whiz. | 他是家裏的電腦高手 | 
| [15:17] | Yeah, that’s… | 是啊 真是… | 
| [15:19] | Uh, so is there anything else I can help you with? | 那麼還有什麼我可以幫你的嗎 | 
| [15:21] | Just that. | 還有這個 | 
| [15:28] | Once upon a time, there was a swing in a branch | 從前 樹枝上有一架鞦韆 | 
| [15:31] | and a big, fat marshmallow. | 和一個又大又胖的棉花糖 | 
| [15:34] | Why does the cat only eat marshmallows, Dad? | 為什麼貓只吃棉花糖啊 爸爸 | 
| [15:37] | Why do you think? Turn the page. | 你覺得呢 翻下一頁 | 
| [15:40] | I only see the cat! | 我只看到了貓 | 
| [15:43] | The kitty’s so dismay-ded, | 這隻貓咪好沮喪啊 | 
| [15:45] | but there’s a marshmallow, and the kitty’s like… | 但這兒有個棉花糖 貓咪就… | 
| [15:49] | I’m sick. | 我病了 | 
| [15:50] | So breathe that way. | 那就朝著那邊睡 | 
| [15:52] | I’m not sleeping on the fold-out. | 我才不要睡在折疊床上 | 
| [15:53] | No, I mean I’m sick, Dee Dee. | 不 我的意思是我病了 迪迪 | 
| [15:55] | I don’t know what’s wrong with me. | 我不知道自己怎麼了 | 
| [16:00] | I need… | 我需要… | 
| [16:05] | Oh, God, I’ve pictured having this conversation | 天哪 十三歲起 我就在想像 | 
| [16:07] | since I was 13, | 這個對話的場景 | 
| [16:08] | and now I don’t know how to start it. | 現在我卻不知道要怎麼開始 | 
| [16:14] | But… | 不過… | 
| [16:19] | a word that’s… | 曾經有段時間… | 
| [16:20] | defined me for a while has been… | 定義了我的一個詞是… | 
| [16:26] | confusion. | 困惑 | 
| [16:37] | Even ten words in, it already feels | 即使只說了十個詞 我已經感覺 | 
| [16:39] | so cathartic… to open up… | 很舒暢了… 我要敞開心扉… | 
| [16:44] | about what I’m trying to say, baby. | 把我想說的話說出來 寶貝 | 
| [16:52] | The deepest part… of myself… | 我最深處的… 那部分自我… | 
| [16:57] | I’ve always… | 我一直… | 
| [16:59] | Name a happy child of divorce. | 說出一個幸福的離異家庭兒童 | 
| [17:05] | What? | 什麼 | 
| [17:06] | Name one happy child of divorce. | 說出一個幸福的離異家庭兒童 | 
| [17:09] | Can I finish what I’m trying to say? | 我能把自己想說的話說完嗎 | 
| [17:14] | The Tooth Fairy needs to find her wand. | 牙僊子得找到她的魔杖 | 
| [17:36] | Where do your teeth go? | 你的牙去哪裏了 | 
| [17:40] | Hi, Mom. | 早啊 媽咪 | 
| [17:41] | I’m Mr. Chompers. | 我是牙牙先生 | 
| [17:43] | Jesus! Fuck! | 天啊 我操 | 
| [17:44] | And I eat dreams. Nom! Nom! | 我能吃掉夢 好吃 好吃 | 
| [17:48] | Nom… | 好吃… | 
| [18:32] | I’m sorry. | 我很抱歉 | 
| [18:35] | I don’t even know how to talk to you anymore, | 我甚至都不知道該怎麼跟你說話了 | 
| [18:38] | but I want you to know that… | 但我想讓你知道… | 
| [18:41] | I do it all the time in my head, | 我一直在腦海裏跟你對話 | 
| [18:43] | so it feels like I talk to you more than I do. | 所以感覺像是 我跟你說的話比實際更多 | 
| [18:51] | I’m always asking myself if I’m trying too hard. | 我一直在問自己 我是不是努力過頭了 | 
| [18:55] | Am I? | 我是嗎 | 
| [18:58] | Or not enough? | 還是說 還不夠 | 
| [19:01] | I used to be so good at putting myself | 我曾經很擅長把自己 | 
| [19:04] | between you and… | 放在你和… | 
| [19:06] | anything that tried to hurt you, but… | 任何試圖傷害你的東西之間 但是… | 
| [19:09] | I couldn’t… | 我沒辦法… | 
| [19:12] | I couldn’t put myself between you and what happened. | 我沒辦法把自己放在你和發生的事情之間 | 
| [19:15] | I… I couldn’t stop… | 我… 我沒辦法阻止… | 
| [19:20] | you losing everything. | 你失去一切 | 
| [19:25] | And… | 而且… | 
| [19:28] | I don’t know how to protect you anymore, | 我再也不知道要怎麼保護你了 | 
| [19:30] | and maybe I shouldn’t. | 而且 也許我也不應該保護你 | 
| [19:34] | Maybe that’s how I help. | 也許我那樣才能幫你 | 
| [19:48] | Have you ever seen the movie Robocop? | 你看過”機械戰警”嗎 | 
| [19:52] | Maybe? | 可能吧 | 
| [19:53] | It’s about a police officer | 講的是一個 | 
| [19:54] | who dies in the line of duty. | 殉職的警察 | 
| [19:57] | His buddies rebuild him like a robot | 他的同伴把他改造成了機器人 | 
| [20:00] | so they can control him, | 這樣就能控制他 | 
| [20:02] | but he just gets… way more violent. | 但他變得… 更加暴力 | 
| [20:16] | Just a sec. | 等一下 | 
| [20:27] | Hi. | 嗨 | 
| [20:30] | I didn’t know you were coming. | 我不知道你會來 | 
| [20:35] | Welcome to my… home away from home. | 歡迎來到我的… 家外之家 | 
| [20:44] | What happened here? | 這兒怎麼了 | 
| [20:46] | Um… a lamp got broken. | 我… 摔壞了一盞檯燈 | 
| [20:50] | And you’re sleeping on a futon? | 你就睡在沙發床上嗎 | 
| [20:52] | Yeah, sometimes I want a bed. Sometimes I want a couch. | 是啊 有時候睡床 有時候睡沙發 | 
| [20:56] | It’s Spartan, but it’s everything I need. | 很簡樸 但足夠了 | 
| [20:59] | Where does Will sleep? | 威爾睡哪裏 | 
| [21:01] | Oh, I have an inflatable mattress. | 我有一個充氣床墊 | 
| [21:04] | He thinks it’s like a water bed, only with air. | 他覺得那像是水床 只不過裏面是空氣 | 
| [21:06] | You could be in a suite at the Four Seasons, Jeff. | 你有錢去四季酒店住套房的 傑夫 | 
| [21:09] | I’m happy here. | 我在這兒很開心 | 
| [21:11] | What you don’t see are the memories. | 你沒看到我在這裏有很多回憶 | 
| [21:14] | My first apartment… | 我的第一間公寓… | 
| [21:15] | short stroll right across campus. | 穿過校園走幾步就到了 | 
| [21:18] | Before I say what I’m going to say, | 在我表達想法之前 | 
| [21:20] | you should know that your son was very touched | 你得知道你兒子對你所做的事 | 
| [21:22] | by what you did. | 非常感動 | 
| [21:24] | I didn’t expect that. | 出乎意料 | 
| [21:26] | We raised a good boy. | 我們有個好孩子 | 
| [21:27] | But the guilt that I felt | 但我總是感到內疚 | 
| [21:30] | for wanting a sixth pair of shoes… | 當我想買第六雙鞋時… | 
| [21:32] | Who said you couldn’t have shoes? | 誰不讓你買鞋 | 
| [21:33] | Or a car that’s just fun… | 或者為了好玩… | 
| [21:34] | – It’s a lot of shoes. – And fast to drive… | -有很多鞋子 -和開得快而買車… | 
| [21:37] | You want another car? Get another car. | 你想買車 那就買一輛 | 
| [21:38] | – Or for hating the man… – Get six cars… | -或者因為討厭一個… -買六輛車… | 
| [21:40] | One for every day of the week. | 一天一輛換著開 | 
| [21:41] | Who drove a snack truck into our family, | 開著快餐車撞死我家人的司機 | 
| [21:43] | and meanwhile, you are writing checks for his rent, | 而你竟然幫他付房租 | 
| [21:46] | his utility bills? | 和水電費 | 
| [21:47] | You’re paying his garbage pickup? | 還付他的垃圾費 | 
| [21:52] | He has a daughter. | 他有個女兒 | 
| [21:56] | Someday she’s gonna have to go to college. | 她總有一天得去上大學 | 
| [22:01] | We had a son, | 我們有個兒子 | 
| [22:04] | and he will never go to college! | 他再也不能去上大學了 | 
| [22:06] | Denny hurt his back in the accident. | 丹尼在事故里傷到了背 | 
| [22:08] | – Denny? – He walks with a cane now. | -丹尼 -他拄著枴杖走路 | 
| [22:10] | Of course you’re on a first-name basis with him! | 你和他都親密到喊他名字了 | 
| [22:13] | Did you not think how giving that man money | 你沒想過給那個人錢 | 
| [22:16] | would make me feel? | 我會怎麼想嗎 | 
| [22:17] | He can’t drive anymore. | 他再也不能開車了 | 
| [22:18] | Workmen’s compensation won’t cover the cost | 工人撫恤金沒法支撐 | 
| [22:20] | of a single-parent household. | 一個單親家庭的開支 | 
| [22:22] | Someone has to look out for him. | 得有人照顧他 | 
| [22:24] | We weren’t the only ones who lost something. | 我們不是唯一失去了什麼的人 | 
| [22:28] | We’re the only ones that matter. | 我們唯一要關心的是自己 | 
| [22:30] | I devoted an entire show to Phil’s death… | 我為菲爾的死辦了一場演出… | 
| [22:33] | an honest show. | 充滿誠意 | 
| [22:35] | They’re gonna air it soon. | 很快就會開播了 | 
| [22:36] | I don’t watch Puppet Time anymore. | 我再也不看木偶時間了 | 
| [22:39] | Watching it makes me want to swallow my tongue. | 看了讓我很難過 | 
| [22:43] | You shouldn’t blame that man for what happened. | 你不該因為發生的事而怪那個司機 | 
| [22:45] | I don’t blame him. | 我不怪他 | 
| [22:47] | I hate him. | 我恨他 | 
| [22:49] | I blame myself for what happened. | 我怪我自己 | 
| [22:51] | It was an accident… | 那是一場意外… | 
| [22:53] | A stray burst of electrons through a stoplight. | 那紅燈出了點故障 | 
| [22:57] | – A broken lamp. – An act of God. | -交通燈壞掉了 -不可抗力 | 
| [23:00] | He’s not the bad guy. | 他不是壞人 | 
| [23:02] | Neither are you, Jill. | 你也不是 吉爾 | 
| [23:05] | – No one is. – That’s what you don’t get. | -沒人是 -所以你不懂 | 
| [23:08] | Next to you, I am the bad guy. | 和你在一起 我就是壞人 | 
| [23:12] | I always am. | 我總是壞人 | 
| [23:13] | No, you’re a wonderful person, and I miss you | 不 你很好 我很想你 | 
| [23:16] | – more than anything. – Don’t. | -非常想你 -別這樣 | 
| [23:22] | Oh, I loved you, Jeff, but… | 我愛過你 傑夫 但… | 
| [23:28] | after the accident, when all the cards arrived… | 那次意外之後 明信片紛至沓來… | 
| [23:33] | they were all addressed to you. | 都是寄給你的 | 
| [23:36] | They were meant for both of us. | 那些明信片是寄給我們一起的 | 
| [23:39] | You’re Santa. | 你就像聖誕老人 | 
| [23:41] | I’m Mrs. Claus. | 我是聖誕老婆婆 | 
| [23:43] | Santa brings joy. | 聖誕老人帶來快樂 | 
| [23:45] | Mrs. Claus brings… | 聖誕老婆婆只能… | 
| [23:47] | kibble to the reindeer. | 給馴鹿餵吃的 | 
| [23:51] | Well, I don’t live on the North Pole anymore. | 而且 我不再住在北極了 | 
| [23:55] | I live in reality now. | 我活在現實裏 | 
| [23:57] | It’s not as colorful, but… | 雖然沒那麼多姿多彩 但… | 
| [24:00] | I see the world how it really is. | 我看到了世界的真實 | 
| [24:03] | The world is a perfect circle… | 世界是一個完美的圓… | 
| [24:06] | of endless possibilities. | 有無盡的可能性 | 
| [24:10] | It’s not a circle. | 它不是一個圓 | 
| [24:14] | It’s a hole. | 而是一個洞 | 
| [24:23] | That truck driver… | 那個卡車司機 | 
| [24:28] | He didn’t hurt his back in the accident. | 他沒在事故里傷到他的背 | 
| [24:31] | Maybe he told you he did, | 也許他是這麼跟你說 | 
| [24:34] | but that is called a lie. | 但他撒謊了 | 
| [24:36] | He just wants your money. | 他只是想要你的錢 | 
| [24:37] | He’s stealing from you, | 他在偷你的錢 | 
| [24:40] | and teaching Will a magic trick | 而且 就算你教給威爾魔術小技巧 | 
| [24:41] | isn’t gonna get him to stop smoking pot. | 也絕不會讓他戒煙的 | 
| [24:44] | And when you screw a woman you just met | 還有 當你和一個剛認識的女人睡了 | 
| [24:46] | and she doesn’t call you back, | 而她不再聯繫你 | 
| [24:48] | it’s not ’cause her phone is broken. | 不是因為她的手機壞了 | 
| [24:50] | It’s ’cause she doesn’t like you! | 而是因為她不喜歡你 | 
| [24:54] | I’m sorry, but this is where we live. | 很抱歉 但這就是現實 | 
| [24:58] | Please, join us. | 拜託 回到現實中 | 
| [25:28] | 薇薇安(1/1) 抱歉没有尽快回复你 我的手机坏了 很乐意再次见到你 🙂 | |
| [26:09] | Is it the… queen of hearts? | 是… 紅桃Q嗎 | 
| [26:16] | No way! | 不是吧 | 
| [26:39] | Mom? | 媽媽 | 
| [27:06] | Isn’t it amazing, Gertie? | 是不是很棒 格蒂 | 
| [27:25] | ♪ A stranger landed from the sea ♪ | ♪ 陌生人從海而來 ♪ | 
| [27:31] | ♪ I welcomed him to come to me ♪ | ♪ 我盛情邀請他 ♪ | 
| [27:39] | ♪ We touched but he swam back to sea ♪ | ♪ 匆匆一見 他又重回海裏 ♪ | 
| [27:46] | ♪ He saw the cold and misery ♪ | ♪ 他看到寒冷不幸 ♪ | 
| [27:53] | ♪ He sails the seven oceans ♪ | ♪ 他航行七海 ♪ | 
| [27:56] | ♪ Exploring his emotions ♪ | ♪ 探索情感的漩渦 ♪ |