| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:06] | Do you believe you could turn back time? | 你相信时光倒流吗 |
| [00:07] | That’s absurd. | 太荒唐了 |
| [00:08] | I think we should fuck. | 我觉得咱们该做爱 |
| [00:10] | I serve a higher moral authority: | 我为更高级的道德权威机构效忠 |
| [00:11] | the children of Japan. | 日本儿童 |
| [00:13] | Stop! Stop! Stop! | 停下 停下 |
| [00:14] | Yes! Yes! | 太棒了 |
| [00:15] | Scott is entitled to half. | 斯科特有权得到一半 |
| [00:17] | What is divorce? | 什么是离婚 |
| [00:18] | Divorce is when a husband and a wife | 离婚就是指丈夫和妻子 |
| [00:20] | decide they don’t want to be married to each other. | 决定不再成为夫妇 |
| [00:22] | See you at the bottom. | 底下见咯 |
| [00:56] | Divorce is for the best. | 离婚是最好的选择 |
| [01:44] | No! | 不 |
| [01:45] | Please! Please, no! | 求你们了 别啊 |
| [02:09] | You got divorced on national television | 你在全国性电视节目上离婚了 |
| [02:11] | before an audience of mostly children. | 还当着观众的面 观众大多可还都是孩子 |
| [02:14] | Now, do you still think that was “for the best”? | 现在 你还觉得离婚是最好的选择吗 |
| [02:20] | I do. | 是的 |
| [02:21] | Well, what about the critics who argue | 那么对于那些批判你 |
| [02:24] | that you singlehandedly have broken up more homes | 仅凭自己的一面之词就空前的摧毁了众多家庭 |
| [02:27] | than anyone in the whole of humanity? | 你如何回应呢 |
| [02:30] | Homes don’t break. | 家庭才不会被摧毁 |
| [02:31] | They change, | 它们只会变质 |
| [02:33] | like people, | 就像人一样 |
| [02:35] | which I truly believe is for the best. | 我坚信这是最好的选择 |
| [02:36] | But what about what happened in the Philippines? | 那关于菲律宾事件 你又如何解释呢 |
| [02:39] | Was that for the best? | 那也是最好的结果吗 |
| [02:40] | I’m sorry. | 不好意思 |
| [02:41] | What-what happened in the Philippines? | 菲律宾发生了什么 |
| [02:42] | You don’t know what happened? | 你不知道吗 |
| [02:45] | Here. Here, here. | 来来来 |
| [02:48] | No! | 不 |
| [02:50] | Please! Please, no! | 求你了 别啊 |
| [02:58] | I wasn’t aware of this incident. | 我不知道这场事故 |
| [03:00] | But do you feel responsible for the death of Phil? | 但是你是否觉得自己应为菲尔的死负责呢 |
| [03:05] | What did you say? | 你说什么 |
| [03:06] | Excuse me one second. | 抱歉 我喝口水 |
| [03:11] | Do you feel responsible | 你是否觉得自己应该为 |
| [03:13] | for the death of Filipino Pickles? | 菲律宾腌黄瓜先生的死负责呢 |
| [03:26] | They threw him off a roof. | 他们把他从楼顶上扔了下去 |
| [03:30] | He landed on an ice cream vendor. | 然后砸到了一个卖冰激凌的商贩 |
| [03:35] | Is the ice cream vendor okay? | 那位冰激凌商贩还好吗 |
| [03:38] | He may never walk again. | 他可能就此瘫痪了 |
| [03:42] | So there’s a chance he could walk again? | 所以他还是有几率能恢复步行能力的 对吧 |
| [03:44] | No. | 没可能 |
| [03:50] | Where’s the funeral? | 葬礼在哪办 |
| [03:53] | There isn’t one. | 没有葬礼 |
| [03:55] | Philippines won’t let Ginoo Pickles’ body | 菲律宾人不肯把基诺腌黄瓜先生的遗体 |
| [03:57] | be buried on their soil, so… | 埋在他们的领土里 所以 |
| [04:01] | …they have to bury him at sea. | 他们只好把他沉到大海了 |
| [04:12] | Now you want my advice? | 现在你又想听我的建议了 |
| [04:14] | A man is dead… | 人都死了 |
| [04:15] | a man I hired! | 我雇来的人啊 |
| [04:17] | I didn’t say “advice.” I said “read.” | 我没说建议 而是读出你的想法 |
| [04:18] | I want your read. | 我就想让你读出你的想法 |
| [04:19] | My read is, I was right | 我现在就给你读 关于这个 |
| [04:20] | about this listening doll, | 倾听娃娃 我的看法是对的 |
| [04:22] | this death-threat- receiving machine. | 这台接受死亡威胁的机器 |
| [04:26] | Do you want to send a message? | 你想发条信息吗 |
| [04:27] | No, I do not! | 老子不想 |
| [04:29] | Calm down. Have a seat. | 冷静点 坐会吧 |
| [04:30] | Where? | 坐哪 |
| [04:31] | There is nowhere to sit | 这一整间的办公室里 |
| [04:33] | in this entire office. | 都没有个放屁股的地方 |
| [04:35] | Nowhere. | 哪都没有 |
| [04:36] | I thought I had one chair! | 我本以为我有把椅子的 |
| [04:37] | No! | 没有 |
| [04:38] | No chair. | 没有椅子 |
| [04:39] | And look at this mess. | 再看看这个烂摊子 |
| [04:43] | Do you want a new iPhone | 你想要一台新苹果手机吗 |
| [04:45] | but your money’s all tied up in your home? | 然而你的资产全都“锁”在家里了 |
| [04:47] | Then you need a reverse mortgage. | 那么 你就急需一个反向抵押贷款 |
| [04:49] | Trust me. It’s not a scam. | 相信我 这不是骗局 |
| [04:51] | Unlocking the hidden equity in your home is Snaggle-rific. | 充分利用你房产的隐藏股本是完全可“结”的哦 |
| [04:55] | I’m Stacy Keach, | 我是斯泰西·基齐 |
| [04:56] | and Snagglehorse is right. | “打结的马”说的可对了 |
| [04:58] | Together, we’re gonna take you on a trail ride | 共同合作 我们将带你跨越 |
| [05:00] | through the land of fiscal empowerment. | 财政授权的自由领土哦 |
| [05:03] | Plus, it’s just common sense | 再说 任何能够 |
| [05:04] | that anything in reverse | “反向”而行的事物 |
| [05:06] | is always twice as fun as doing it the normal way. | 总是比按部就班有趣得多 这可是常识哟 |
| [05:11] | The whores have stolen the children, Deirdre, | 那群贱人把孩子们给偷走了 迪尔德丽 |
| [05:14] | on your watch. | 就在你的掌管之下 |
| [05:15] | Fili-Pickles is dead. | 菲律宾腌黄瓜先生死了 |
| [05:17] | And they’re going to bury him at sea | 他们打算给他来个海葬 |
| [05:19] | like some Pickle bin Laden. | 就好像处理腌黄瓜版的本拉登一样 |
| [05:21] | You want my advice? | 你要我的建议是吧 |
| [05:23] | Do not let Jeff bury that man, | 别让杰夫埋了那家伙 |
| [05:26] | and bring back my leather couch. | 还有 把老子的皮沙发给取回来 |
| [05:29] | How do you nap? | 你平时怎么在办公室睡觉 |
| [05:31] | I don’t nap, Dad! | 我不睡觉 老爹 |
| [05:34] | And it’s not my fault the Philippines | 而且那些菲律宾人非要贯彻 |
| [05:36] | enforce some militant brand of Catholicism. | 天主教激进分子那套邪教观念又不是我的错 |
| [05:40] | The divorce is on you, though. | 但离婚的事还得怪你 |
| [05:42] | Not blaming, just saying. | 没怪你 我就说说 |
| [05:44] | You do that a lot, you know. | 你知道吗 你老是这样 |
| [05:46] | What? | 哪样 |
| [05:47] | Mistake an opportunity | 每次给你一个当好爸爸的机会 |
| [05:48] | to be a good father | 你总是会把它当做 |
| [05:51] | with an occasion to shame me. | 用来羞辱我的机会 |
| [05:53] | Every now and then, just so you know, | 每次都这样 就想让你知道一下 |
| [05:55] | I could use a thumbs-up from you, | 我可真得给你点个赞 |
| [05:58] | since we both know that “Good job, Dee Dee,” | 咱俩都心知肚明 一句“干得漂亮 小迪” |
| [06:01] | is too hard to say. | 有多难说出口 |
| [06:02] | If you want to fix this, | 如果你想拯救大局 |
| [06:05] | you have to think of Jeff as a child. | 那你必须把杰夫当做一个孩子来看 |
| [06:08] | You have to discourage him. | 你得让他感到气馁 挫败 |
| [06:11] | It’s fine. I know what to do. | 没事 我知道该做什么 |
| [06:19] | I told my daughter that Daddy and I | 我告诉我女儿说 爸爸和我 |
| [06:20] | were just getting a second house, | 有两套房子了哟 |
| [06:22] | but now she knows it’s divorce. | 但是现在倒好 她知道我们其实在闹离婚 |
| [06:24] | My mom broke up with my dad | 我妈跟我爸闹分裂 |
| [06:25] | because of the song you sang. | 都是因为你唱的破歌 |
| [06:27] | Wife waiting for me when I get home. | 我回家的时候 发现我老婆在等我 |
| [06:29] | Ambushes me, says Mr. Pickles is right. | 在家埋伏我 还说 腌黄瓜先生说得对 |
| [06:31] | She took everything but this doll. | 除了这个娃娃 其他东西她全拿走了 |
| [06:33] | You broke up my home, asshole. | 你拆散了我的家庭 死混蛋 |
| [06:35] | I’m gonna fuck you up so bad, Pickles. | 老子要让你求生不得求死不能 腌黄瓜先生 |
| [06:48] | – Hi. – Hey, pal. | – 嗨 – 嘿 朋友 |
| [06:51] | I think I left my passport here. | 我似乎把护照落这儿了 |
| [06:53] | Finally going on vacation, huh? | 终于要去度假了是吧 |
| [06:56] | I have to bury a Filipino Pickle. | 我得去埋葬菲律宾腌黄瓜先生 |
| [06:59] | Well, that’s, um… | 就那事儿吧 |
| [07:02] | I’m glad you’re here. | 很高兴你能到这来 |
| [07:03] | Uh, question. | 提个问题 |
| [07:05] | Would you ever coinvest in a breedable affenpinscher? | 你会考虑跟人共同投资一只具备繁殖能力的猴绠吗 |
| [07:08] | They are reliable show dogs, | 它们可是相当可靠的表演犬 |
| [07:12] | loyal, curious, famously amusing. | 忠诚 好奇 以能够取悦人闻名 |
| [07:16] | If that’s an invite to trot the circuit, | 如果你是在邀请我参加小型犬环场竞赛的话 |
| [07:17] | I feel a team forming. | 咱们就英雄所见略同了 |
| [07:19] | I support it. | 我支持猴绠 |
| [07:21] | Hey, hey, second question, | 还有第二个问题 |
| [07:22] | unrelated, equally important, | 虽然没啥关系 但也很重要 |
| [07:24] | if not more so. | 也可能没那么重要 |
| [07:26] | Uh, I’m taking Jill and Will to Hersheypark this weekend. | 我打算这周周末带吉尔和威尔去好时乐园 |
| [07:31] | ‘Cause I want to propose to Jill. | 因为我想向吉尔求婚 |
| [07:34] | What do you think about that? | 你有何感想 |
| [07:40] | I think… | 我觉得 |
| [07:43] | Does, uh, Will have to be there to witness it? | 威尔也会见证你的求婚吗 |
| [07:46] | I mean, | 个人来说 |
| [07:47] | I’d like him to be. | 我希望他能在现场 |
| [07:49] | Oh, sure. | 当然了 |
| [07:55] | This hug is complicated | 这个拥抱中富含各种情感 |
| [07:56] | but… | 但是 |
| [07:59] | – genuine. – Thank you, man. | – 是真诚的拥抱 – 多谢了 兄弟 |
| [08:01] | Hey, I loved the divorce episode. | 嘿 我超爱你唱的离婚之歌 |
| [08:04] | Thanks. | 谢了 |
| [08:06] | I think it’s what killed the Filipino guy. | 我觉得就是那首歌害死了菲律宾腌黄瓜先生 |
| [08:08] | Mm. Can’t win ’em all. | 毕竟并非所有人都会认同 |
| [08:11] | Liver brothers forever! | 肝脏兄弟之情地久天长啊 |
| [08:22] | Hersheypark this weekend, huh? | 这周末去好时乐园 是吧 |
| [08:28] | I need to get my passport. | 我得去取我的护照 |
| [08:29] | Hey, are you and Peter | 嘿 你和彼得 |
| [08:31] | investing in a show hound? | 打算投资一只表演犬吗 |
| [08:33] | He has his heart set on an affenpinscher. | 他是整个心都扑在那只猴绠身上了 |
| [08:35] | But little does he know | 但是他不知道的是 |
| [08:37] | that I have my hand on the tail | 我看好一只 |
| [08:39] | of a horse-haired schnauzer named Wunderbar. | 名叫文德巴的马毛雪纳瑞犬 |
| [08:42] | Big, thick whiskers | 又大又厚的络腮胡须 |
| [08:43] | and a scrotum you could wind your watch to. | 你甚至可以用它的阴囊给你的手表上发条 |
| [08:45] | You have a gift, you know? | 知道吗 你有一种天赋 |
| [08:47] | You tried to manslaughter him, | 之前你差点要了他的命 |
| [08:48] | and now you’re going halfsies on a schnauzer. | 现在你还打算跟他一起对半投资一只雪纳瑞 |
| [08:50] | I mean, to be fair, | 说实话 |
| [08:51] | we haven’t committed totally to a breed. | 我们还没商定好配种的事 |
| [08:55] | Great guy, Peter. | 彼得是个好人 |
| [08:59] | I like him. | 我喜欢他 |
| [09:02] | Enjoy the chocolate park. | 享受巧克力乐园之旅吧 |
| [09:04] | I don’t know if I can go. | 还不知道我能不能去 |
| [09:05] | I’m supposed to work a Sunday shift. | 我周天有值班 |
| [09:07] | Oh, no, no, no. | 不不不 |
| [09:08] | You should take the time off. | 你该请个假休息休息 |
| [09:10] | No one ever regrets a vacation. | 度假这种事情 没人会后悔的 |
| [09:12] | Passports are in that thing in the closet. | 护照在壁橱里 |
| [09:17] | Wait, you know what? | 等下 要不这样吧 |
| [09:18] | I’ll just grab ’em. | 我去拿吧 |
| [09:19] | The-the closet’s a mess. | 壁橱里一团糟 |
| [09:28] | – Everything okay? – Yep! | – 找到了吗 – 当然 |
| [09:29] | They are right here. | 在这呢 |
| [09:34] | Not gonna ask me where I’m going? | 你不打算问我要去哪吗 |
| [09:36] | Jill, can you spot me on the ladder? | 吉尔 看到我站在梯子上了吗 |
| [09:38] | Hopefully somewhere relaxing. | 希望是能让你放松的地方 |
| [09:44] | Sorry. | 对不起 |
| [09:45] | When my parents are upset, | 我爸妈吵架的时候 |
| [09:47] | they only speak Tagalog. | 他们只说塔加拉语 |
| [09:49] | What were they yelling about? | 他们吵什么呢 |
| [09:51] | I guess your dad killed a guy? | 好像是你爸爸杀了个人什么的 |
| [09:53] | Hmm? | 啥 |
| [09:54] | Ooh, Will! Win me some Skitties! | 威尔 帮我赢点彩虹堂 |
| [09:57] | Yeah, Will, win her some Skitties. | 是啊 威尔 帮她赢点彩虹堂吧 |
| [09:59] | No, I’m okay. | 不 反正我不需要 |
| [10:01] | I don’t want this. | 不想要这玩意儿 |
| [10:02] | They’re Skittles, not Skitties. | 而且是彩虹糖不是彩红糖 |
| [10:04] | My sorrys. | 我的锅 |
| [10:05] | Your what? | 你的什么 |
| [10:07] | If you guess how many are in the “vahse”… | 如果你猜那个平子里有多少糖 |
| [10:09] | – “Vayse.” – …we get all the Skitties. | – 是瓶字（此处也读错了） – 我们可以把这些彩虹堂都赢走 |
| [10:10] | Why do you want these? | 你为什么想要这些 |
| [10:13] | Hmm. | 呃 |
| [10:16] | I’m gonna say… | 我想 |
| [10:18] | if one Skittie occupies a full cubic centimeter | 如果一个彩虹糖的体积是一立方厘米 |
| [10:22] | and the volume of your Skittie container | 那么这个糖罐子的容积就是 |
| [10:25] | equals pi times the radius times the height… | π乘以半径乘以高度 |
| [10:27] | 6,765. | 6765立方厘米 |
| [10:29] | 6,765 Skittles. | 6765个彩虹糖 |
| [10:33] | Just write that down. | 记下来就好 |
| [10:35] | Enjoy. | 好好玩哈 |
| [10:36] | Taste the motherfucking rainbow. | 尝尝他妈的彩虹糖 |
| [10:39] | Wait. | 等等 |
| [10:40] | Are you sure that’s the number? | 那个数字你确定吗 |
| [10:42] | Fuck you, Will. | 去你妈的 威尔 |
| [10:45] | Fuck you, Cassidy. | 去你妈的 卡西迪 |
| [10:50] | I think I’m magic. | 我觉得我有魔法 |
| [10:53] | Go on. | 继续说 |
| [10:55] | So you know that old library book I got | 你们还记得我从图书馆借的那本旧书吗 |
| [10:56] | 数学之王 数学 神秘主义与宇宙 | |
| [10:57] | on math and mysticism and the universe? | 讲数学 神秘主义与宇宙的那本 |
| [11:00] | Well, when I saw my mom hand my dad the divorce papers, | 我看到我妈把离婚协议书给我爸的时候 |
| [11:03] | I, uh-I read about how to turn back time | 我 我看到这本书讲述如何让时间倒流 |
| [11:06] | so they’d get back together. | 这样他们就能和好如初 |
| [11:07] | Uh, are you guys drinking drugs? | 你们是在嗑药吗 |
| [11:09] | We’re having high tea. | 我们在喝特别“得劲”的下午茶 |
| [11:11] | Long live the queen. | 女王万岁 |
| [11:13] | I think what I did is really working. | 我真觉得这很有用 |
| [11:15] | This is a beautiful effort on your part, | 这只是你单方面的努力 |
| [11:17] | but your dad got divorced on national TV. | 但你爸可是在全国电视台上离婚了 |
| [11:21] | That doesn’t matter. | 没关系啊 |
| [11:22] | My parents are still technically single. | 严格来说 我爸妈现在还是单身 |
| [11:25] | I know it’s hard to accept, bud, but… | 我知道不好接受 但 |
| [11:27] | 10946 10946. | |
| [11:29] | That was the address of the kid who had Phil’s eyes. | 这是那个孩子家的位置编码 那个拿了菲尔眼珠的孩子 |
| [11:32] | 6,765 was the number of Skittles in the vase. | 6765 这是罐子里能放下的彩虹糖的数量 |
| [11:36] | This can’t just be a coincidence. | 这不可能是巧合 |
| [11:38] | This is the universe talking. | 这是冥冥之中在告诉我们什么 |
| [11:40] | No, this is coincidence. | 不 就是巧合 |
| [11:42] | Plus, those dates are going forward in time, | 另外 这些日期在时间上是向前推进 |
| [11:45] | not backwards. | 而非倒流 |
| [11:46] | If you’re looking for a sign from God, | 如果你在寻找上帝给你的启示 |
| [11:48] | those numbers would need to indicate | 那这些数字 |
| [11:49] | reverse temporal momentum. | 需要表示出反向的时间动量 |
| [11:51] | I disagree. | 我不觉得 |
| [12:06] | See, the numbers do go down | 看 数字就是在变小 |
| [12:09] | when you treat them as numbers, not dates. | 只要你们不把它们当做日期 而是把它们当做数字 |
| [12:12] | I’m confident Will is turning back time. | 我相信威尔能让时光倒流 |
| [12:14] | Please, explain more. | 行 继续说 |
| [12:16] | These numbers, fellow dudes, | 伙计们 这些数字 |
| [12:18] | are a Fibonacci sequence. | 是斐波那契数列 |
| [12:19] | What’s that? | 那是个啥 |
| [12:21] | Fibonacci numbers are the magic numbers in nature | 斐波那契数是自然界中的魔幻数字 |
| [12:23] | that determine the order of everything, | 它决定着从花瓣到老虎条纹 |
| [12:25] | from flower petals to stripes on a tiger. | 所有事物的顺序 |
| [12:29] | They’re God’s numbers. | 他们就是上帝的数字 |
| [12:30] | And they’re counting backwards. | 而且确实是在倒数 |
| [12:34] | I mean, you asked God to turn back time. | 你请求上帝让时间倒流 |
| [12:40] | This is the countdown. | 这就是倒流 |
| [12:43] | You hacked space and time. | 你成功黑进空间和时间顺序系统 |
| [12:44] | Whoa. | 妈呀 |
| [12:45] | Uh, Will? | 威尔 |
| [12:46] | Your dad is here to pick you up. | 你爸爸来接你了 |
| [12:48] | It’s working. | 行得通 |
| [12:49] | He picks me up all the time. | 他天天来接我 |
| [12:51] | Will, we gotta go. | 威尔 我们该走了 |
| [12:53] | We gotta catch a plane. | 我们要赶飞机 |
| [12:54] | Where are we going? | 去哪 |
| [12:56] | The middle of the South China Sea. | 南海中部 |
| [13:16] | Mom’s wondering where I am. | 妈妈问我在哪 |
| [13:20] | Tell her the truth. | 说实话呗 |
| [13:27] | You have a pretty cool job. | 你的工作也太酷了 |
| [13:32] | You know, one day, this could be your pretty cool job. | 你知道吗 以后或许也会成为你的炫酷工作 |
| [13:37] | What do you mean? | 什么意思 |
| [13:38] | I’ve handpicked three of the kindest, | 我从世界各地精心挑选了 |
| [13:41] | most selfless people from all over the world, | 三个最善良的 最无私的人 |
| [13:44] | including Herr Gherkin von Deutschland back there… | 其中包括后面那位德国腌黄瓜先生 |
| [13:49] | …to protect and nourish the world’s children. | 来保护和培养世界各地的孩子 |
| [13:53] | Pickles are men and women | 腌黄瓜先生们是被挑选出来的 |
| [13:54] | selected for their high moral caliber, | 他们是具有高尚品格的男人女人们 |
| [13:57] | a parliament of the righteous | 不喝酒 不吸毒 不说脏话的人 |
| [13:59] | who don’t drink, use drugs, | 组成议会 |
| [14:01] | invoke bad or discouraging language, | 而且他们不会乱性 |
| [14:03] | and they don’t have sex | 只有在恋爱关系中 |
| [14:05] | unless they’re in a loving relationship. | 才会发生性行为 |
| [14:07] | Like priests? | 类似牧师吗 |
| [14:08] | Yeah. | 对 |
| [14:09] | But for children. | 当他们只服务孩子 |
| [14:13] | I see that same goodness in you. | 我在你身上看到了同样的善良 |
| [14:15] | I see that potential to shape the world. | 我看到了你改变世界的潜力 |
| [14:19] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [14:21] | No matter what happens with your mom and I, | 不管我和你妈妈之间发生什么 |
| [14:23] | I’ll always be your father. | 我永远是你父亲 |
| [14:25] | And you’ll always be both | 而你 永远也是 |
| [14:27] | a Piccirillo… | 皮奇里洛家的人 |
| [14:30] | …and, if you want… | 只要你想 |
| [14:32] | a Pickles. | 也可以是腌黄瓜小姐 |
| [14:34] | We are a family. | 我们是家人 |
| [14:38] | Welcome to that family. | 欢迎来到这个大家庭 |
| [14:43] | Can Pickles do magic tricks? | 腌黄瓜先生们会变魔术吗 |
| [14:45] | You can be the first. | 你可以当第一人 |
| [14:47] | Want me to tie that? | 需要我帮忙系上吗 |
| [14:49] | I know how. | 我知道怎么弄 |
| [14:55] | Is that the crew from 60 Minutes? | 那是《分钟时事杂志》的工作人员吗 |
| [15:00] | They’ve seen him at his worst. | 他们见过他最惨的时候 |
| [15:01] | They should see him at his best. | 他们也该看到他最好的时候 |
| [15:04] | I’m sorry for what I said earlier. | 很抱歉我之前说的那些话 |
| [15:07] | You’re doing a better job than I expected you to. | 你真的比我想象的更出色 |
| [15:11] | Why do you have to qualify that? | 这话怎么不经常说呢 |
| [16:05] | See you at the bottom. | 底下见 |
| [16:14] | We offer this prayer for our dear loved one, | 我们为深爱之人祈祷 |
| [16:17] | Ginoo Pickles, | 基诺腌黄瓜先生 |
| [16:18] | who has left this world and is returning to you. | 离开了这个世界 他将回归到您（上帝）身边 |
| [16:32] | As we commit this man to the sea, | 当我们把这个人交给大海 |
| [16:37] | the water will fill the barrel’s bunghole… | 水会通过孔灌进桶里 |
| [16:40] | Yes, that’s really what it’s called. | 对 就是这么回事 |
| [16:42] | …and slowly sink our beloved friend | 我们的朋友会慢慢沉下去 |
| [16:45] | to his final resting place | 到他最后的安息之地 |
| [16:47] | on the floor of the sanctuary of the sea. | 去到海洋圣地上 |
| [17:16] | A devoted husband, father… | 一个伟大的丈夫 顾家的父亲 |
| [17:19] | Traitor. | 背信弃义之人 |
| [17:21] | A devoted father… | 一位伟大的父亲 |
| [17:22] | Murderer. | 凶手 |
| [17:23] | …and husband | 顾家的丈夫 |
| [17:26] | who acknowledged, by the actions that he took… | 通过他的实际行动 被世人所知 |
| [17:29] | What? | 什么 |
| [17:30] | I’ll meet you in the life raft. | 我在救生筏上等你 |
| [17:32] | We have to get up every day | 我们每天都要起床 |
| [17:34] | and take a leap of faith. | 来一次信仰之跃 |
| [17:35] | Leap? | 跃 |
| [17:36] | He was thrown off a roof! | 他可是从屋顶上被人丢下来的 |
| [17:38] | Señor Pepinillo, please. | 腌黄瓜先生 拜托了 |
| [17:40] | We are contractually obligated to repeat what you say. | 按照合同规定 我们有义务重复你说的话 |
| [17:42] | When you speak, you are speaking for all of us. | 你说话的时候 是在代表我们所有人说话 |
| [17:44] | Will you not stop until you get all of us killed? | 你非要看到我们被你害死了 才肯罢休吗 |
| [17:47] | That’s right! | 对啊 |
| [17:48] | Smorgas Gurka, that’s not true. | 瑞士腌黄瓜小姐 不是这样的 |
| [17:50] | And you don’t have to honk like that. | 没必要这样按喇叭 |
| [17:53] | You don’t mean that… Chinese Pickles. | 我相信这并非你本意 中国腌黄瓜先生 |
| [17:56] | Uh, uh… | 呃 |
| [17:57] | I’m sorry. I forgot your name. | 对不起 我忘了你名字 |
| [17:57] | I’m sorry. I forgot your name. | 抱歉 我忘了你叫什么了 |
| [17:59] | His sister touched my brother’s penis! | 他妹妹摸了我弟弟的鸡鸡 |
| [18:03] | Now he is missing. | 现在他不见了 |
| [18:05] | I don’t even know if he is alive. | 我连他是生是死都不知道 |
| [18:07] | What? No, I-I… | 什么 不 我 |
| [18:10] | All right, who did that? | 谁干的 |
| [18:11] | Who threw that? Who threw that? | 谁扔的 是谁扔的 |
| [18:16] | We all have to take a “calm me down” breath. | 大家都先冷静一下 |
| [18:19] | How about a “go fuck yourself” breath? | 你他妈自己冷静去吧 |
| [18:23] | Stop! | 停下 |
| [18:24] | Stop! | 停 |
| [18:25] | Stop it! | 别吵了 |
| [18:33] | Shut up, kid. | 闭嘴吧 小屁孩 |
| [18:35] | This is not who we are. | 我们不是这样的人 |
| [18:36] | This is not who we are! | 别做这样的事 |
| [18:39] | If you are not a Pickle, | 如果你不是腌黄瓜先生 |
| [18:40] | then I am not a Pickle. | 那我就不是腌黄瓜先生 |
| [18:47] | Señor Pepinillo, por favor, no. | 腌黄瓜先生 求你了 别这样 |
| [18:49] | Sí. | 我就要这么做 |
| [18:59] | Coward. | 胆小鬼 |
| [19:03] | Dad! | 爸爸 |
| [19:06] | – What do we do? – Look! | – 我们怎么办 – 看啊 |
| [19:07] | I found a crate of vodka! | 我找到了一箱伏特加 |
| [19:10] | Didn’t you hear? | 你听见了吗 |
| [19:12] | Their god is dead, | 他们的神死了 |
| [19:13] | priests are thirsty, | 牧师渴了 |
| [19:14] | and this ship is about to dock in Gomorrah. | 这艘船就要驶向蛾摩拉（圣经中的罪恶之都）了 |
| [19:17] | No one can help us now. | 现在没有人能帮我们了 |
| [19:21] | Vodka for everyone! | 伏特加 人人都有 |
| [19:24] | No. No. | 不要啊 |
| [19:35] | I’m sorry I brought you on this trip. | 我很抱歉带你来这趟旅行 |
| [19:37] | I’m not. | 我不这么想 |
| [19:40] | I think I finally killed somebody. | 我觉得我最终还是杀了人 |
| [19:43] | No. | 不 |
| [19:44] | You didn’t do anything wrong. | 你没做错什么 |
| [19:46] | You told the truth, | 你用和木偶唱歌的方式 |
| [19:48] | in song with puppets. | 说出了真相 |
| [19:51] | Gravity killed him. | 是地心引力杀了他 |
| [19:52] | Thanks for saying that. | 谢谢你帮我宽心 |
| [19:57] | 作者 特里尔 T.C. 书名 数学之神 | |
| [20:05] | Dad, I know how this is going to sound, but… | 爸爸 我知道我这话很老套 但 |
| [20:08] | it’s going to be okay. | 一切都会好起来的 |
| [20:09] | All of it. | 所有的事 |
| [20:12] | I think I know how I can put everything back the way it was. | 我想我知道如何让一切重回正轨了 |
| [20:15] | Mom’s getting remarried. | 你妈就要再婚了 |
| [20:16] | What? | 什么 |
| [20:18] | Peter is gonna propose. | 彼得要跟她求婚了 |
| [20:20] | Actually, | 事实上 |
| [20:21] | it’s probably happening right now. | 应该是现在正在求婚 |
| [20:29] | No! | 不可以 |
| [20:31] | Who wants to see a magic trick? | 谁想看魔术表演 |
| [20:34] | I will now | 我现在就要 |
| [20:35] | make this can of beer | 将这个啤酒罐 |
| [20:38] | disappear. | 变没 |
| [20:41] | No! | 不行 |
| [20:42] | No, no! No! | 别这样 不行 |
| [20:44] | Inappropriate. | 太有失体面了 |
| [20:46] | No. No drinking. | 不行 不能喝酒 |
| [20:52] | Look out below! | 下面的小心点 |
| [20:57] | Pardonnez-moi. | 不好意思 |
| [20:58] | Peanuts do not go to space, Deirdre. | 花生不能上太空 迪尔德丽 |
| [21:00] | They are legumes. | 它们是豆类 |
| [21:01] | Oi, and Guitar Gary | 是的 还有吉他手盖瑞 |
| [21:03] | will never possess the boundless joy | 将永远不会拥有无限的快乐 |
| [21:04] | nor the rough-and-tumble wit of Ukulele Larry. | 和尤克里里拉里的粗犷机智 |
| [21:08] | We had to adapt. | 我们必须适应局势 |
| [21:09] | There was not a lot we could do, | 考虑到全球产品生产计划的 |
| [21:11] | given the time constraints | 时间限制 |
| [21:12] | of a global production schedule. | 我们也没办法啊 |
| [21:14] | Is called a prenup. | 这是婚前协议 |
| [21:15] | It is not rocket science. | 这不是火箭科学 |
| [21:17] | And if it was rocket science, | 就算它是的话 |
| [21:18] | it would not be performed by a legume! | 它也不能让一个豆科植物来完成 |
| [21:20] | Legumes can perform all sorts of tasks! | 豆科植物可以完成各种任务 |
| [21:23] | Maybe if you had performed a few more tasks, | 如果你能多完成几个任务 |
| [21:25] | your husband would not have left you. | 你丈夫就不会离开你了 |
| [21:28] | Is this glue? | 这是胶水吗 |
| [21:30] | Are you gluing again? | 你开始分泌胶水了吗 |
| [21:31] | It’s sunscreen. | 这是防晒霜 |
| [21:32] | So the rumors are true. | 所以谣言是真的 |
| [21:34] | She glues. | 她能分泌胶水 |
| [21:35] | We are a giraffe! | 我们是长颈鹿 |
| [21:36] | Fuck all of you! | 去你们的 |
| [21:40] | Fuck you! | 去你妈的 |
| [21:47] | Is this waterproof? | 这是防水的吗 |
| [21:49] | Uh, I don’t know. | 我不清楚 |
| [21:51] | That’s a good question. | 这是个好问题 |
| [21:52] | Let me see. | 我看看 |
| [21:58] | Anything else? | 还有别的吗 |
| [22:03] | No. | 不要啊 |
| [22:05] | You’re very cute. | 你真可爱 |
| [22:07] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [22:08] | I find you attractive as well. | 我也觉得你很有魅力 |
| [22:10] | I’m sorry to hear about what happened to your brother. | 你弟弟的事我很抱歉 |
| [22:13] | We were close. I miss him. | 我们关系很好 我很想他 |
| [22:16] | He could puppet a horse with his genitals. | 他会用他的小鸡鸡来扮马 |
| [22:18] | Maybe, uh, one day you, too, | 也许有一天 |
| [22:21] | could puppet a horse with your genitals. | 你也可以用你的小鸡鸡来扮马 |
| [22:22] | No, not me. | 不 我不会的 |
| [22:24] | I didn’t even want this job. | 我本不想要这份工作的 |
| [22:26] | But the Japanese Pickle Code | 但是日本的腌黄瓜规则吧 |
| [22:28] | is a byzantine web of obligation. | 是拜占庭式的义务制度 |
| [22:31] | If a Pickles-san goes missing, | 如果一个腌黄瓜先生失踪了 |
| [22:33] | the next of kin must assume the role. | 他的近亲必须接替他的位置 |
| [22:37] | They dragged me out of bed and put the tie on me! | 他们把我从床上拽起来 给我系上了领带 |
| [22:41] | Is it true that all Pickles-sans | 所有的腌黄瓜先生都必须发誓保持贞洁 |
| [22:43] | have to take a vow of chastity? | 这是真的吗 |
| [22:45] | I took a vow of chastity? | 我发誓要保持贞洁 |
| [22:47] | You know, my first time in a vessel like this, | 你知道吗 我第一次乘这种规模的船舰的时候 |
| [22:52] | we rescued 2,000 children off the coast of Saigon. | 我们在西贡海岸救了两千个孩子 |
| [22:56] | Ooh. A navy man. | 是个海军啊 |
| [22:58] | Sebastiano Piccirillo. | 我是萨巴斯蒂安·皮奇瑞罗 |
| [23:00] | I know we’ve met, | 我知道我们见过 |
| [23:02] | but I like to watch my name travel up a woman’s spine. | 但我非常期待在你的美背上书写我的大名 |
| [23:06] | I’m sorry, but we were having a flirtatious conversation. | 不好意思 我们刚刚在调情哎 |
| [23:09] | These hands once pushed a helicopter into the sea. | 我这双手曾经把一架直升机推入了海中 |
| [23:12] | Imagine what they can do to a female body. | 想象它们用在你身上会有什么样的魔力 |
| [23:17] | My name is Pickles-san. | 我叫腌黄瓜先生 |
| [23:20] | You touched my brother’s penis. | 你摸了我弟弟的鸡鸡 |
| [23:23] | Prepare to die. | 准备好受死吧 |
| [23:25] | He did not give you consent! | 他没有同意你这么做 |
| [23:27] | He wanted it! | 是他想要这样的 |
| [23:29] | When are they getting married? | 他们什么时候结婚 |
| [23:30] | I don’t know. I don’t know. | 我不知道 我不知道 |
| [23:32] | So there’s a chance you and mom can still work things out? | 所以你和妈妈还有机会重归于好吗 |
| [23:35] | No, that was never part of the plan. | 不 我们从没这么打算过 |
| [23:36] | You two still love each other. | 可你们俩还爱着对方啊 |
| [23:38] | I signed the papers. | 我已经签了离婚协议书了 |
| [23:39] | Those are just papers. | 它们只是一堆纸而已 |
| [23:41] | If she marries someone else, it’s really over. | 如果她嫁给别人 那就真的完了 |
| [23:44] | It’s really been over for a while. | 我们之间早就结束了 |
| [23:45] | Because you didn’t try hard enough. | 那是因为你还不够努力 |
| [23:47] | You should have been trying to win her back. | 你本应该把她争取回来的 |
| [23:50] | You should have been trying to keep this family together. | 你本应该努力让我们一家人整整齐齐的 |
| [23:52] | I tried. | 我试过了 |
| [23:53] | I don’t want you to try. | 我不想你只是试试 |
| [23:54] | I want you to fight! | 我要你做出斗争 |
| [23:56] | Hit him with your car again. | 再用你的车撞他一遍不就行了 |
| [23:58] | No, you don’t want that. | 不行 这是不对的 |
| [23:59] | Get away from me! | 你离我远点 |
| [24:00] | Will! | 威尔 |
| [24:01] | – It was all working! – Will. | – 本来一切都可以挽回的 – 威尔 |
| [24:03] | Until today, it was all working. | 今天之前 一切本都可以挽回 |
| [24:04] | Will. | 威尔 |
| [24:14] | You raped my brother! | 你强奸了我弟弟 |
| [24:15] | He was a good man! | 他是个好人 |
| [24:17] | He did not give you consent! | 他没有同意你摸他 |
| [24:19] | Dad. | 爸爸 |
| [24:21] | – Dad, are you in there? – Answer me. | – 爸爸 你在里面吗 – 回答我 |
| [24:22] | – Dad! – Are you the Yakuza? | – 爸爸 – 你是不是社会黑大姐 |
| [24:24] | Answer me! | 你说话啊 |
| [24:25] | Are you the Yakuza? | 你是不是社会黑大姐 |
| [24:37] | Smorgas Gurka? | 斯莫尔加斯·古尔卡 |
| [24:45] | Sucky-sucky boat-boat. | 傻屌破船 |
| [24:58] | What’s wrong? | 怎么了 |
| [25:00] | She raped my brother and ruined my life. | 她强奸了我弟弟 毁了我的人生 |
| [25:08] | What did you say? | 你刚说什么 |
| [25:09] | Nothing. | 没什么 |
| [25:22] | Pull! | 扔 |
| [25:24] | Get away from me. | 离我远点 |
| [25:27] | – No, please! – Murderer! | – 别这样 – 凶手 |
| [25:29] | Murderer! Murderer! | 凶手 凶手 |
| [25:32] | Murderer! Murderer! | 凶手 凶手 |
| [25:34] | Murderer! Murderer! Murderer! | 凶手 凶手 凶手 |
| [25:37] | Murderer! Murderer! | 凶手 凶手 |
| [25:39] | Murderer! Murderer! Murderer! | 凶手 凶手 凶手 |
| [25:47] | Murderer! Murderer! | 凶手 凶手 |
| [25:50] | Murderer! Murderer! Murderer! | 凶手 凶手 凶手 |
| [25:53] | You killed the magic! | 是你毁了魔法 |