| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:00] | Oh, geez… | 噢 天呐 |
| [00:04] | Hey, can one of you boys give me a hand? | 嘿 孩子们谁来帮帮忙 |
| [00:06] | What do you need? | 需要我做什么 |
| [00:06] | Just hold this steady. | 把这个扶稳就好 |
| [00:08] | Thanks, Malcolm. | 谢了 Malcolm |
| [00:09] | I’m glad it’s you. | 还好是你来 |
| [00:11] | Whenever Reese helps, he always seems to hurt himself. | Reese帮忙的时候好像总会伤到自己 |
| [00:24] | Wait, wait, how about this? | 等等 等等 这个怎么样 |
| [00:25] | “Mother’s wonderful, quiet, dignity.” | “妈妈伟大 恬静 尊贵” |
| [00:28] | No, her “Sensitive, quiet, dignity.” | 不对 她是 “敏感 恬静 尊贵” |
| [00:32] | What are you guys doing? | 你们在干嘛 |
| [00:34] | We were at the mall and they had these entry forms | 我们在商场看到派发这个 |
| [00:36] | for the Mrs. Tri-County contest. | 三郡小姐选美的参赛表格 |
| [00:39] | Look at these questions. | 看看这些问题 |
| [00:40] | “How does your mother bring joy into your life?” | “你妈妈是如何给你的人生带来快乐的” |
| [00:43] | How about the time she shaved the word “Liar” Into my head? | 记得她把我的头发剃成”骗子”的图案吗 |
| [00:46] | “She always finds time to dote on our personal appearance.” | “她乐于为我们整理着装” |
| [00:52] | What’s so funny? | 什么这么好笑 |
| [00:56] | Reese saw a Japanese guy | Reese在网上看到 |
| [00:57] | on the Internet puke into an electric fan. | 一个日本人朝电风扇呕吐 |
| [01:00] | They are ahead of us in so many ways. | 他们在这么多方面都领先于我们 |
| [01:08] | All right, how bad is it? | 好吧 有多糟糕 |
| [01:11] | Nothing past second notice so far. | 目前还没什么重要的 |
| [01:16] | What’s that? | 那是什么 |
| [01:17] | Apparently I’ve been entered into the Mrs. Tri-County Pageant. | 看起来我参加了三郡小姐选美 |
| [01:21] | What? | 什么 |
| [01:22] | The boys entered me in this pageant. | 孩子们帮我报名了 |
| [01:26] | “…lucky to have her in our lives.” | “生活中有她是我们的幸运” |
| [01:28] | “Too special to be kept a secret…” | “她的特别无法掩藏” |
| [01:31] | “She suffers in silence…”? | “默默忍受一切” |
| [01:33] | Oh, can you believe this? | 噢 难以置信 |
| [01:34] | I know. They do all these horrible things | 我知道 他们捣过那么多乱 |
| [01:36] | and then they go and do something like this. | 现在却做了一件这样的事 |
| [01:40] | Yes, well, they’re good boys. | 呃 他们是好孩子 |
| [01:44] | God, I think of suffering through all those pageants | 天哪 我想到了过去的选美比赛中 |
| [01:46] | slaving for my sister all those years. | 我是怎么被我姐姐使唤的 |
| [01:48] | Susan was always the big star, | Susan永远都是大明星 |
| [01:50] | and I was her invisible little troll. | 而我只是个不起眼的丑小鸭 |
| [01:52] | Carrying her gowns for Queen of Harvest Festival, | 帮她拿竞选丰收日皇后穿的礼服 |
| [01:55] | ironing her sash for Miss Mammogram. | 帮她熨竞选乳房检查小姐佩的饰带 |
| [01:57] | Well, no one ever appreciates the star maker, Lois. | 没有人感激幕后的人 Lois |
| [02:00] | Once I was hemming her dress for Dairy Princess | 有一次我帮她缝竞选牛奶公主的裙子时 |
| [02:02] | and a photographer stood on my back to take her picture. | 一个摄影师竟然站在我背上给她拍照 |
| [02:06] | Bastards wouldn’t know a Dairy Princess | 不给这些混蛋点颜色 |
| [02:08] | if it came up and bit them on the ass. | 他们就不知道什么是牛奶公主 |
| [02:11] | Boy, it would really show her if I entered this pageant. | 对哦 如果我参加了选美就能向她证明自己了 |
| [02:16] | What? | 什么 |
| [02:17] | Well, it wouldn’t hurt to | 去看看比赛是怎样的 |
| [02:18] | go down there and see what it’s all about. | 也没什么关系啊 |
| [02:21] | Great. Let’s do it. | 太棒了 出发吧 |
| [02:24] | You little monsters! | 你们这群小怪物 |
| [02:26] | You have really done it this time! | 这次真的玩过头了 |
| [02:28] | Dad, it was a joke. | 爸 这就是个玩笑 |
| [02:29] | I didn’t know Reese was going to mail the stupid thing. | 我不知道Reese会把这玩意儿寄出去 |
| [02:31] | We were just goofing around. | 我们只是闹着玩的 |
| [02:32] | I can’t believe she took it seriously. | 不敢相信她竟然当真了 |
| [02:34] | You’re right, Dewey. | 你说对了 Dewey |
| [02:35] | Your mother actually believes her sons love her. | 你们妈妈真的相信她儿子们爱她 |
| [02:38] | What a moron. | 真是个白痴 |
| [02:40] | I’ve got it. | 我想到了 |
| [02:41] | Why don’t you just blindfold | 你们怎么不干脆 |
| [02:42] | your mother and throw her down some stairs?! | 把你们妈妈眼睛蒙住扔下楼梯呢 |
| [02:44] | That’d be fun! | 那肯定很有趣吧 |
| [02:46] | – We’re sorry. – Yeah. | – 很抱歉 – 对不起 |
| [02:48] | Well, it’s too late for sorry. | 道歉已经太迟了 |
| [02:50] | Here’s what’s going to happen. | 我们接下来要做的是 |
| [02:51] | We are all going down to the Civic Center as a family, | 作为一家人一起去市政大厅 |
| [02:53] | and you boys are going to do everything in your power | 你们要尽一切力量 |
| [02:55] | to make sure this is the most unhumiliating night | 确保今天是你们妈妈人生中 |
| [02:58] | of your mother’s life. | 最不丢人的一夜 |
| [03:03] | This is a big deal. | 场面还不小 |
| [03:05] | I have to be honest, I’m feeling kind of nervous here. | 老实说 我现在有点紧张 |
| [03:07] | You don’t pay mileage, I had to park in the structure, | 你不帮我付路费 我不得不停到楼里来 |
| [03:10] | and you call this a gift bag? | 而且你觉得这算个礼物袋吗 |
| [03:12] | I saw two judges with the mini-lipstick set | 我看到有两个评委有迷你唇膏套装 |
| [03:14] | and the lemon scented moisturizer. | 和柠檬香薰润肤膏 |
| [03:17] | Mr. Herkabe, what are you doing here? | Herkabe先生 你在这儿干嘛 |
| [03:18] | I happen to be one of the judges. | 我是评委之一 |
| [03:20] | What, may I ask, are you doing here? | 你又在这儿干嘛 |
| [03:22] | You know, curiosity. | 呃 好奇罢了 |
| [03:24] | It’s kind of a sociologically interesting… | 关心关心社会 |
| [03:26] | My God, your mother’s in the pageant. | 天哪 你妈妈参加了选美 |
| [03:29] | Well, technically. | 严格来说 是的 |
| [03:32] | And I happen to have certain powers | 我刚好有点 |
| [03:33] | that might influence that outcome. | 决定比赛结果的权利 |
| [03:35] | Isn’t that interesting? | 很有意思对吗 |
| [03:36] | What? | 什么 |
| [03:37] | I just think that’s really interesting. | 我只是觉得很有意思 |
| [03:38] | Don’t you find it interesting? | 你不觉得有意思吗 |
| [03:40] | Yeah, I guess I’m gonna have to. | 呃 我想我大概只能认同了 |
| [03:42] | I’m sorry, sir. | 抱歉先生 |
| [03:43] | They were out of the moisturizer, but I found these. | 润肤膏发完了 但我找到了这些 |
| [03:44] | Fine. I’ll take the smoked almonds, the loofah glove… | 好吧 那我就要烤杏仁 丝瓜瓤手套 |
| [03:47] | Oh, just give me the whole box. | 噢 干脆整盒都给我吧 |
| [03:54] | All right, ladies, sign in. | 好了女士们 签到吧 |
| [03:55] | You’ll get your schedules, your parking permits, | 你会拿到你的时间表 停车许可证 |
| [03:57] | and your dressing area assignments. | 还有更衣区指南 |
| [03:59] | Also, make sure that you get back here by 3:00 sharp | 同时 确保你在三点整回来 |
| [04:02] | for a group photo with the state’s largest pumpkin. | 和我们州最大的南瓜派合照 |
| [04:08] | Look at all these old broads trying to look hot. | 看看这些试图打扮地性感的老女人 |
| [04:10] | I mean, don’t know they know we’re done with them? | 她们不知道自己已经是明日黄花了吗 |
| [04:13] | Donna? Donna, is that you? | Donna Donna 是你吗 |
| [04:16] | Lois Lois! | |
| [04:18] | I haven’t seen you since Miss Teen Gas and Power. | 自从青年燃气小姐选美之后我就没见过你啦 |
| [04:21] | What a memory you have. | 你记忆力真好 |
| [04:23] | Was that the time when the judges | 是评委们把我 |
| [04:24] | carried me around on their shoulders? | 举在肩上走来走去的那次吗 |
| [04:27] | Darlene Jeanie Anne Darlene, Jeanie, Anne. | |
| [04:29] | Look who’s here. | 看看谁来了 |
| [04:30] | Look at all of you. | 看看你们 |
| [04:31] | I can’t believe you’re still doing pageants. | 居然还在参加选美 |
| [04:33] | Well, I actually quit a few years back. | 我其实前几年没参加 |
| [04:35] | It was time to get to know my kids a little better. | 为了好好了解我的孩子 |
| [04:38] | But then September 11th happened, and… | 但是911发生了 而且 |
| [04:40] | We just can’t let them win. | 我们不能让他们赢 |
| [04:43] | So where’s your sister? | 你姐姐呢 |
| [04:45] | Susan isn’t here. | Susan不在这儿 |
| [04:46] | I’m entering this myself. | 是我参加 |
| [04:52] | I love stuff like that. | 噢 我喜欢这样 |
| [04:54] | Don’t feel bad. | 别难过 |
| [04:55] | The rest of us don’t have a chance either. | 我们也一样没有机会 |
| [04:57] | Donna somehow got Nina Perucci to coach her. | Donna找了Nina Perucci来训练她 |
| [05:01] | Nina Perucci Nina Perucci. | |
| [05:02] | How did you manage that? | 你怎么做到的 |
| [05:03] | Well, Max got a nice bonus for Christmas, | Max拿了不错的圣诞奖金 |
| [05:06] | and let’s just say I had | 在他签支票之前 |
| [05:07] | a yeast infection until he wrote the check. | 就当我是宫颈炎吧 |
| [05:12] | Is that your chin? | 你的下巴就这样 |
| [05:13] | No, Nina. | 不是的 Nina |
| [05:14] | Is that your smile? | 微笑就这样 |
| [05:15] | No, Nina. | 不是的 Nina |
| [05:15] | Is that your bust? | 胸部就这样 |
| [05:17] | No, Nina. | 不是的 Nina |
| [05:20] | She’s amazing. | 她太棒了 |
| [05:21] | She pioneered the use of backstage laxatives. | 她开发了泻药在后台的使用 |
| [05:24] | Lois, if we don’t sign up right now, | Loin 如果我们还不签到 |
| [05:26] | we’re going to get a dressing area without a hook. | 就只剩没有衣钩的更衣室了 |
| [05:28] | Is that what you want? | 你难道想要这样吗 |
| [05:30] | Bye. | 拜 |
| [05:32] | Well, I think we know who’s winning Mrs. Deluded. | 看来我们已经能知道谁会赢得令人失望小姐了 |
| [05:35] | Donna Donna… | |
| [05:40] | I didn’t think it was possible, but the Mrs. | 虽然我没想到会这样 但是 |
| [05:42] | Tri-County Pageant is about to get even uglier. | 三郡小姐选美越发露出丑陋的本质了 |
| [05:47] | I made the appointment for your facial tomorrow. | 我帮你预约了明天做脸 |
| [05:49] | I don’t want to pick out jewelry | 我想先选礼服 |
| [05:51] | until after we choose the gown. | 再选首饰 |
| [05:52] | Now, the red one is nice, | 红的这个很好 |
| [05:53] | it’s tasteful and really sets off your hair. | 看起来秀色可餐而且跟你的头发很配 |
| [05:56] | But the blue one has a nicer drape | 但是蓝色的这条的褶皱更好 |
| [05:58] | and you cannot beat its “Wow” Factor. | 而且更让人眼前一亮 |
| [06:01] | You know what? | 你知道吗 |
| [06:02] | Let me worry about that. | 让我来担心这个就好 |
| [06:03] | You can concentrate on your talent. | 你专注练习你的表演吧 |
| [06:05] | I don’t know, Hal. | 我不知道 Hal |
| [06:06] | I’m not even sure you can call it a talent. | 我都不确定这能叫表演 |
| [06:08] | What are you talking about? | 你在说什么呢 |
| [06:10] | It is going to be great. | 这会很好的 |
| [06:11] | That’s why I blocked out the | 我特意腾出了 |
| [06:12] | next three hours for you to work with Dewey. | 接下来三个小时让你和Dewey练习 |
| [06:14] | Dad, I have homework. | 爸 我有作业要做 |
| [06:15] | Oh, just buy it from the guy Reese buys his from. | 从Reese买作业的人那里买就好了 |
| [06:19] | Okay, ladies, I know you’ve all done it | 好了女士们 我知道 |
| [06:22] | a million times before, | 你们已经做过上万次了 |
| [06:23] | but let’s just walk through it once anyway. | 但还是走一遍吧 |
| [06:25] | Blue line ladies, cross over the red mark. | 蓝线女士们 走过红色标记 |
| [06:28] | Green line, cross over the yellow mark. | 绿线 走过黄色标记 |
| [06:30] | Blue line, stop at the orange mark, | 蓝线 在橙色标记那儿停下 |
| [06:32] | step left and cross to the green line. | 往左一步走穿过绿线 |
| [06:33] | Green line, stop to the black mark, | 绿线 在黑色标记停下 |
| [06:35] | step right and cross to the… | 往右一步穿过 |
| [06:38] | green line. | 绿线 |
| [06:39] | Malcolm, I need you to do a job for me. | Malcolm 我需要你帮我个忙 |
| [06:41] | It’s urgent. | 紧急的忙 |
| [06:41] | I’ve been exchanging some very | 我要给一个参赛者 |
| [06:43] | meaningful glances with one of the contestants. | 送一个充满意义的秋波 |
| [06:45] | You know they’re all married, don’t you? | 你应该知道她们都是已婚的吧 |
| [06:48] | Yes, of course. | 当然知道 |
| [06:49] | And that’s why it would be indecent of me not to be discrete. | 所以我得离远点不然不礼貌 |
| [06:52] | Darlene Fisher Darlene Fisher. | |
| [06:53] | Green sweat suit. | 绿色运动装 |
| [06:56] | I need you to pass her this note for me. | 我要你帮我把这个纸条传给她 |
| [06:58] | You want me to find out if she likes you? | 你想让我帮你问她喜不喜欢你吗 |
| [07:00] | Forget it. | 别想了 |
| [07:01] | I respect your stand, | 我尊重你的立场 |
| [07:02] | Malcolm, and I want you to know | 但是Malcolm 我希望你知道 |
| [07:03] | this will in no way affect my judging of your mother. | 这不会影响我对你妈的评价 |
| [07:07] | Or will it? | 或者会 |
| [07:19] | Okay, you’re next. | 好了 你是下一个 |
| [07:19] | Now, no matter what question they ask you, | 不管他们问你什么问题 |
| [07:21] | remember to use your key phrases: | 记得用上关键词 |
| [07:23] | “Empowering women, the beauty within, helping those in need.” | “赋予女性权利 内在美 帮助有需要的人” |
| [07:27] | And don’t forget, end with “May God bless America.” | 还有别忘了 用”愿天佑美利坚”作结束语 |
| [07:30] | Right, right, and when do I say the stuff about world peace? | 好的 好的 那我什么时候谈论世界和平 |
| [07:32] | No, no, no, no, no, | 不不不不不 |
| [07:33] | we got rid of that. | 我们不要那个了 |
| [07:34] | You don’t want to come off like a liberal nut case. | 你可不想像个愤青似的上去 |
| [07:37] | Yes, I am a mother, but I also have to remember that I’m a woman. | 是的 我是个母亲 但我也要记住我是个女人 |
| [07:42] | A woman who’s not afraid to give because it feels so good. | 一个乐于奉献的女人 因为献出自己的感觉好极了 |
| [07:50] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [07:58] | Okay, Lois… | 好了 Lois |
| [07:59] | here’s your question if you’re ready. | 这是你的问题 你准备好了吗 |
| [08:02] | “How has motherhood kept you young?” | “做妈妈是如何让你保持青春的” |
| [08:13] | I’m sorry, but I have a problem with the question. | 抱歉 我对于这个问题有点疑问 |
| [08:18] | Motherhood definitely does a lot of things, | 做母亲确实能得到很多 |
| [08:20] | but the one thing it does not do is keep you young. | 但是绝对没有让你保持青春这条 |
| [08:22] | Oh, my God, | 天哪 |
| [08:23] | it ages you horribly. | 它只会让你老得更快 |
| [08:25] | Youth is about having choices, | 青春就是拥有一切选择 |
| [08:27] | but once you’re a mother, you have no choices. | 但是当你成为了一个母亲 你就没得选了 |
| [08:29] | You’re stuck loving your children. | 陷在对孩子的爱中 |
| [08:32] | You get gray hair loving them. | 爱他们使你头发变白 |
| [08:33] | You lose sleep loving them. | 使你睡眠不足 |
| [08:35] | You lose out on all those other things | 你失去了所有 |
| [08:36] | that you always thought you’d do. | 你曾以为拥有的东西 |
| [08:38] | But even with all of that, | 但即使如此 |
| [08:40] | the amazing thing is, | 最神奇的就是 |
| [08:42] | you’re okay with it. | 你并不在意 |
| [08:43] | It’s like some wonderful… curse. | 就像一种美妙的 诅咒 |
| [08:59] | That was amazing. | 太棒了你 |
| [09:00] | I don’t know where you came up with that crap, but you nailed it. | 我不知道你怎么想出那些话的 但你干得太好了 |
| [09:11] | Okay, Donna, here we go. | 好了 Donna 开始吧 |
| [09:13] | “What aspect of being a woman do you find most fulfilling?” | “做女人的哪一点让你最充实” |
| [09:17] | What kind of stupid question is that? | 那是什么蠢问题 |
| [09:21] | Excuse me? | 什么 |
| [09:23] | I don’t mean that you’re stupid. | 我不是说你蠢 |
| [09:24] | I… the question is… | 我 那个问题 |
| [09:26] | I mean… | 我是说 |
| [09:29] | I’m not fulfilled. | 我不充实 |
| [09:30] | It’s awful being a woman, right? | 当女人太糟了 对吧 |
| [09:33] | Right? | 对吧 |
| [09:33] | I’m cursed with children, too. | 我也被诅咒带孩子了 |
| [09:35] | I never wanted to have kids. | 我从来不想要孩子的 |
| [09:36] | I just wanted to… | 我只想要 |
| [09:38] | But I do… love America. | 但我是真的 爱美国 |
| [09:43] | How ’bout our country, huh? | 我们的国家 怎么样 |
| [09:52] | Did you see that? | 你看到了吗 |
| [09:53] | She went up like the Hindenberg. | 她上去大出洋相 |
| [09:55] | Wow, I guess I’m really doing okay. | 哇 看来我确实干得还不错 |
| [09:56] | So are you going to keep wasting time high-fiving yourself, | 你是要继续在这儿自我满足 |
| [09:59] | or are we going to get back to work? | 还是回去继续努力 |
| [10:06] | Okay, honey, that was pretty good. | 好了 那还不错 |
| [10:08] | Unfortunately, there are three counties | 不幸的是 这种水平的女人 |
| [10:10] | full of women who are “Pretty good.” | 有三个郡之多 |
| [10:12] | We need a winner. | 我们需要做到最好 |
| [10:13] | I think this would be going so much better | 我觉得如果我能 |
| [10:14] | if I could sing or dance or play a musical instrument. | 唱歌跳舞或者会乐器就好了 |
| [10:17] | We’ll get to you, Lois. | 等下再来训练你 Lois |
| [10:18] | Right now Dewey’s our problem. | 现在要先弄好Dewey这边 |
| [10:20] | Now, son, I don’t know anything about music, | 儿子 我不了解音乐 |
| [10:22] | but this is how you should be playing it. | 但是你应该这样弹 |
| [10:23] | Now, in the middle part, you’re doing | 在中间的部分 你是 |
| [10:26] | And I want to hear more of… | 但是我更想要的是 |
| [10:31] | That’s never gonna happen. | 不可能的 |
| [10:32] | You know, I really don’t need this from you right now. | 我现在要的不是你这样的 |
| [10:34] | We’ve got one day to get the dress ready, | 我们只有一天准备裙子 |
| [10:37] | our shoes aren’t dyed and we have no idea | 鞋子还没染好 而且我们还根本不知道 |
| [10:39] | where we’re going with our hair! | 去哪里做头发 |
| [10:40] | Hal, calm down. | Hal 冷静点 |
| [10:41] | What’s happening? | 你怎么了 |
| [10:43] | I thought this was supposed to be fun. | 我以为这就是图个乐子 |
| [10:45] | It is. See? | 确实是啊 看 |
| [10:50] | Mom had better win this thing. | 妈妈最好赢这比赛 |
| [10:51] | I’m getting to know way too much about Herkabe’s love life. | 对于Herkabe的感情世界我已经知道太多了 |
| [10:53] | You got anything yet? | 你找到什么了吗 |
| [10:54] | This judges’ manual is unbelievable. | 这个评判标准简直难以置信 |
| [10:56] | It’s over 200 pages of these really specific rules | 长达两百多页都是用来写 |
| [10:58] | on what’s attractive and what isn’t. | 什么是有吸引力而什么不是的细则 |
| [10:59] | There’s a whole page on ankle symmetry. | 有一整页用来写脚踝对称性的 |
| [11:02] | And you know what I learned? | 你知道我学到什么了吗 |
| [11:03] | What? | 什么 |
| [11:04] | I’m beautiful. | 我很美 |
| [11:05] | What are you talking about? | 你在说什么 |
| [11:07] | Everything on my face is the absolute standard of perfection. | 我脸上的一切都到达了完美的标准 |
| [11:10] | My lips are exactly twice | 我的嘴唇刚刚好 |
| [11:11] | the length of the distance between my eyes. | 是两眼距离的两倍 |
| [11:13] | My philtrum is gracefully tapered. | 我的人中是优雅的锥形 |
| [11:15] | My earlobe is the perfect 1.4 centimeters. | 我的耳垂是完美的1.4厘米 |
| [11:18] | And it just goes on and on. | 还有好多好多呢 |
| [11:20] | You can measure me if you don’t believe it. | 如果不信 你可以来量一量 |
| [11:21] | Are you going to help Mom or not? | 你到底要不要帮妈妈 |
| [11:24] | I understand your anger, Malcolm. | 我理解你的愤怒 Malcolm |
| [11:26] | Unattractive people can become very threatened by this. | 没有吸引力的人会觉得这太有威胁了 |
| [11:29] | It’s probably why I have so few friends. | 这大概就是我没什么朋友的原因 |
| [11:36] | Malcolm Malcolm! | |
| [11:37] | I need a favor. | 我需要你帮忙 |
| [11:38] | I already did you a favor with Darlene. | 我已经帮你泡Darlene了 |
| [11:39] | Which worked out spectacularly. | 效果很好 |
| [11:41] | And athletically. | 富有运动性 |
| [11:42] | And repeatedly. | 及多次性 |
| [11:43] | What else do you want? | 你还想要什么 |
| [11:44] | I need you to break up with her. | 我需要你帮我跟她分手 |
| [11:46] | What? | 什么 |
| [11:46] | She’s gotten so clingy and dependent. | 她变得太黏人太依赖我了 |
| [11:48] | She’s suffocating me. | 我快要被逼死了 |
| [11:50] | Feel free to judge me, | 要怎么评判我随便你 |
| [11:51] | but remember who’s judging your mother. | 但记住是谁来评判你妈 |
| [11:54] | Give her this note. | 给她这个纸条 |
| [11:55] | At first I toyed with the idea | 本来我打算 |
| [11:56] | of lying to her, but then I decided | 就玩玩她 后来我决定 |
| [11:57] | to tell her honestly I find her repellent. | 还是诚实地告诉她我觉得她不讨喜 |
| [12:00] | It’s better to be classy. | 经典总是最好的 |
| [12:02] | Malcolm! Find your brother and get back here. | Malcolm 去把你哥带来 |
| [12:05] | The judges need to see all of us | 要让评委看见我们全都 |
| [12:06] | gazing adoringly up at your mother. | 敬慕地盯着你妈 |
| [12:08] | Those Hendersons are making us look like chimps. | 那边的Henderson一家让我们看起来跟猩猩似的 |
| [12:11] | His smile is fading. | 他的笑容在减弱 |
| [12:12] | Give him another hit. | 再给他一剂 |
| [12:23] | I don’t know how you do this. | 我不知道该怎么做 |
| [12:24] | I’ve never felt such butterflies in my entire life. | 我从来没这么紧张过 |
| [12:27] | Good luck, everybody. | 祝你们好运 |
| [12:33] | Your mascara is clumping! | 你的睫毛膏都结块了 |
| [12:35] | What did I tell you about blinking?! | 在眨眼上我是怎么教导你的 |
| [12:40] | What is it?! | 什么事 |
| [12:45] | I know. | 我懂的 |
| [12:47] | Ladies and gentlemen, | 女士们先生们 |
| [12:48] | welcome to the Miss Tri-County Pageant. | 欢迎来到三郡小姐选美大赛 |
| [12:50] | Here’s your host, Channel | 我是你们的主持人 来自二频道的 |
| [12:52] | Two’s acclaimed meteorologist, Dr. Dave Nelson. | 著名气象学家 Dave Nelson博士 |
| [12:56] | Hey there, Mrs. Tri-County. | 嘿 三郡小姐 |
| [13:00] | A lady from head to toe… | 从头到脚的淑女 |
| [13:06] | A nurse, a maid, a teacher and a hottie… | 护士 女佣 老师 尤物 |
| [13:10] | All wrapped up in a bow It’s time to sparkle | 皆被包装的华丽 到了闪耀的时刻 |
| [13:17] | and start the show So come on, take a bow… | 表演开始 鞠躬答谢观众 |
| [13:21] | America needs you like never before | 美利坚从未如此需要你们 |
| [13:24] | and “Mom” Is just an upside down “Wow!” | “妈妈”和”妈呀”本是一个词 |
| [13:34] | I lost a pin? | 我掉了个发卡 |
| [13:36] | I lost a pin! | 我掉了个发卡 |
| [13:37] | Oh, this isn’t happening! | 天哪不会吧 |
| [13:39] | Hold on. | 等下 |
| [13:40] | Wait, what are you doing? | 等下 你在干嘛 |
| [13:41] | Now your hair’s ruined. | 现在你的头发毁了 |
| [13:43] | So, we’ll both be a little off. | 那我们就都有点不在状态咯 |
| [13:44] | Come on, everybody, let’s go. | 走吧大家 上吧 |
| [13:49] | And please step forward… | 请往前站 |
| [13:52] | Charlotte Charlotte! | |
| [13:55] | Ladies and gentlemen, | 女士们先生们 |
| [13:56] | the judges have unanimously decided | 评委们一致决定 |
| [13:58] | that these five women will… | 这五位女士将 |
| [14:00] | not be going to the next round! | 不会进入下一轮 |
| [14:02] | And you ladies are! | 而你们会 |
| [14:11] | We’re going to take a short | 我们要休息一会儿 |
| [14:11] | break now so our lucky five | 让五位幸运的女士能够 |
| [14:13] | can get ready for the Glamour Parade! | 为魅力游行做准备 |
| [14:20] | Malcolm. Come here. | Malcolm 过来 |
| [14:22] | Malcolm Malcolm. | |
| [14:22] | Reese, what are you doing? | Reese 你在干什么 |
| [14:24] | Dad’s been looking all over for you. | 老爸找你半天了 |
| [14:25] | I’m leaving, Malcolm. | 我要离开了 Malcolm |
| [14:27] | I’m claiming my birthright. | 我要去接收我与生俱来的权利 |
| [14:29] | What? | 什么 |
| [14:30] | I’m about to become a star, | 我要成为明星了 |
| [14:31] | and from what I understand, | 而且就我的理解来看 |
| [14:32] | I have to ruthlessly separate myself from | 我得无情地摆脱你们 |
| [14:34] | you pathetic hangers-on, | 这些可悲的累赘 |
| [14:36] | and probably eventually sue your asses. | 大概还会告你们 |
| [14:39] | Take care, Malcolm. | 保重 Malcolm |
| [14:41] | I’ll see you in court. | 法庭见 |
| [14:44] | Well, it may be 70 degrees outside, | 外面可能是21度 |
| [14:46] | with a 20% chance of rain… | 还有二成几率会下雨 |
| [14:51] | …but it’s about to get a lot hotter in here. | 但里面要变得越来越热了 |
| [14:53] | Where’s Jeanie? | Jeanie在哪儿 |
| [14:57] | We were all going to wear tiaras for Glamour Parade and… | 我们在魅力游行上都会戴皇冠 |
| [15:01] | we’re all going to wear tiaras. | 我们都会戴皇冠的 |
| [15:05] | Thank you, Jeanie. | 谢谢你 Jeanie |
| [15:09] | Thank all of you. | 谢谢你们 |
| [15:12] | …as we present | 接下来请看 |
| [15:13] | the Mrs. Tri-County | 三郡小姐的 |
| [15:14] | Glamour Parade. | 魅力游行 |
| [15:43] | What’s wrong? | 怎么了 |
| [15:44] | What happened? | 发生什么了 |
| [15:45] | Usually, | 通常 |
| [15:45] | we let the judges decide who gets to wear the tiara. | 我们让评委决定谁戴皇冠 |
| [15:57] | Ladies and gentlemen, please, remain clam. | 女士们先生们 请保持镇静 |
| [15:59] | There’s no reason to panic. | 没必要慌 |
| [16:02] | Okay, I’m ready. | 好了我准备好了 |
| [16:04] | For what? | 干什么 |
| [16:05] | Whatever it is you do with beautiful people. | 你对漂亮的人们做的那些事情 |
| [16:07] | I’ll give you 20% and not a penny more. | 我只会给你二成 一分都不能再多了 |
| [16:09] | You may have to travel because | 你可能要长途跋涉因为 |
| [16:10] | I’m going to have a house in Miami, | 我要在迈阿密 米兰 |
| [16:11] | Milan, and that Disneyworld in France. | 还有法国的迪士尼都买套房子 |
| [16:13] | You’re welcome to fly my private jet, | 你可以搭乘我的私人飞机 |
| [16:15] | but I want you to keep it real. | 但我要你让这些成真 |
| [16:17] | I’d also like a falcon. | 我也喜欢战隼 |
| [16:18] | What are you talking about? | 你在说什么呢 |
| [16:20] | I can’t do anything with you. | 我什么都做不了 |
| [16:21] | What? Why not? | 什么 为什么不行 |
| [16:23] | I’ve read the book, | 我看过书了 |
| [16:23] | I measured everything. | 我也量过所有部分了 |
| [16:24] | I’m perfect! | 我是完美的 |
| [16:25] | It’s true, you do have the | 你确实是拥有 |
| [16:26] | perfect features for a middle-aged woman. | 对于中年女人来说的完美的五官 |
| [16:30] | If you want to, | 如果你希望的话 |
| [16:31] | have a sex change, | 做个变性手术 |
| [16:32] | come back in 20 years and we’ll talk. | 然后二十年后回来我们再谈 |
| [16:36] | No, please! | 不 不要 |
| [16:37] | This can’t be how it ends. | 这不能这样结束 |
| [16:38] | I’m supposed to have three | 我应该有三次 |
| [16:39] | rocky marriages and die in a hotel fire! | 不稳定的婚姻然后死在一场酒店的大火中 |
| [16:42] | Don’t send me home! | 别让我回家 |
| [16:43] | I’m too perfect to live like a person! | 我太完美了不能像普通人一样生活 |
| [16:47] | Okay, people reacted badly to the crown thing, | 好吧 大家对皇冠事件反应不太好 |
| [16:49] | so you gotta nail the talent portion. | 所以你就得好好表演了 |
| [16:51] | Now, I know you think it isn’t a talent, | 我知道你觉得那个根本不算表演 |
| [16:53] | but if you commit, we can make | 但如果你下定决心 我们能让 |
| [16:54] | those oversized Barbies choke on their own batons. | 那些大型芭比搬起石头砸自己的脚 |
| [16:59] | What are you doing? | 你在干嘛 |
| [17:00] | Where’s your top hat and fishnet thigh-highs? | 你的高帽子和渔网袜呢 |
| [17:02] | Just get the car and the kids, Hal, | 去开车叫上孩子们吧 Hal |
| [17:03] | and let’s just slink out of here. | 赶紧溜吧 |
| [17:04] | Wait, you can’t just walk away. | 等等 你不能就这样走了 |
| [17:06] | Oh, yes, I can. | 当然可以 |
| [17:07] | This whole thing has been a disaster. | 这整件事就是场灾难 |
| [17:09] | I don’t belong here. | 我不属于这儿 |
| [17:10] | And I hate the way those women make me feel. | 而且我讨厌那些女人给我的感觉 |
| [17:12] | Come on, they’re just a bunch of bitter hags. | 拜托 她们只是一帮酸葡萄罢了 |
| [17:15] | And I hate the way you’ve been making me feel. | 而且我也不喜欢你给我的感觉 |
| [17:18] | We may have our ups and downs, Hal, | 我们的生活是有起有落的没错 Hal |
| [17:20] | but this is the first time I ever felt | 但这是第一次让我感觉 |
| [17:21] | like I wasn’t good enough for you. | 我配不上你 |
| [17:25] | You’re right. | 你是对的 |
| [17:27] | I’m sorry. | 我很抱歉 |
| [17:29] | I mean, I know you’re perfect, and for once, | 我知道你很完美 但这一次 |
| [17:31] | I wanted the whole world to know it. | 我想让全世界都知道 |
| [17:33] | Well, that’s a nice idea, | 这是个好主意 |
| [17:34] | but that isn’t going to happen. | 但没办法 |
| [17:35] | I don’t know why I ever thought I could compete with these women. | 我不知道为什么会觉得能比得过她们 |
| [17:38] | Hal, I can’t handle them. | 我根本应付不了她们 |
| [17:39] | I’m out of my league here. | 这已经完全超出我的能力范围了 |
| [17:40] | What are you talking about? | 你在说什么呢 |
| [17:42] | Do you know why those broads pulled that stunt? | 你知道为什么那些老女人搞了那出戏吗 |
| [17:45] | They’re afraid of you, Lois. | 她们怕你 Lois |
| [17:48] | Right now you are surrounded | 你现在身边都是一群 |
| [17:49] | by a bunch of idiots who fear you. | 怕你的笨蛋 |
| [17:51] | You’re not out of your league, you’re at home. | 这才没有超出你的能力范围 你完全能轻松应对 |
| [17:56] | Lois, where have you been? | Lois 你去哪儿了 |
| [17:58] | Come on, let’s go. | 来吧 快走 |
| [17:59] | You’re up. | 到你了 |
| [18:00] | You’ve got to go. | 你得走了 |
| [18:07] | Whining isn’t going to make me go any faster. | 唠叨是不会让我走地更快的 |
| [18:10] | Yes! | 好的 |
| [18:11] | And now our third contestant, | 现在第三位选手 |
| [18:13] | Lois, will be accompanied by her lovely daughter, Dewey. | Lois 将会让她可爱的女儿Dewey来伴奏 |
| [18:29] | There’s Mommy. | 妈妈在那儿 |
| [19:58] | Would the new Mrs. | 新的三郡小姐 |
| [19:59] | Tri-County like another scoop of fudge ripple? | 要再来一勺软糖酱吗 |
| [20:02] | Well, this sash still has a couple of inches of slack. | 这儿还有一两英寸地方能挤挤 |
| [20:04] | Keep it coming. | 来吧 |
| [20:06] | This is so nice. | 这真好 |
| [20:07] | Look at this. | 快看呀 |
| [20:08] | A $40 coupon for new tires, | 40美金的新轮胎现金抵用券 |
| [20:10] | a box of steaks, a label maker! | 一盒肉排 一个标签机 |
| [20:14] | Oh, this is nice. | 噢 这真是太棒了 |
| [20:15] | I wish Reese wasn’t too busy sulking to enjoy it with us. | 真希望Reese没有忙着生闷气 而是来跟我们分享这个 |
| [20:19] | Give him a little time. | 给他点时间吧 |