| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:02] | – Hey, Katie. – Hi, uh, Teddy and I want to show Emme | -凯蒂 -泰迪和我想让艾米看 |
| [00:04] | The Princess Bride. Is she old enough? | 《公主新娘》 她年龄到了吗 |
| [00:06] | Yeah. Well, uh, wait. | 是的 等等 |
| [00:07] | – Yes. – Yes. Like I said, yes. | -是的 -是的 我说过了 是的 |
| [00:11] | Oh, man. | 见鬼 |
| [00:12] | Teddy never puts away his iPad. | 泰迪从来都不收拾他的平板 |
| [00:15] | Oh, my God. | 老天 |
| [00:17] | What? | 怎么了 |
| [00:18] | See for yourself. | 你自己看 |
| [00:21] | That’s a naked lady. | 是个裸女 |
| [00:24] | On Teddy’s iPad. | 在泰迪的平板上 |
| [00:26] | He’s 11. | 他11岁 |
| [00:27] | And there’s a naked lady on his iPad? | 他的平板上有个裸女 |
| [00:31] | That’s not so bad– it’s just the top half. | 没那么糟 裸上身而已 |
| [00:35] | God, I can’t believe | 老天 我真不敢相信 |
| [00:36] | Teddy’s going online and looking at pictures of naked women. | 泰迪上网看裸女的照片 |
| [00:39] | And then leaving the computer out. | 还把电脑丢在外面不收拾 |
| [00:42] | Rookie mistake. | 菜鸟级错误 |
| [00:45] | That doesn’t sound like him. | 听起来不像是泰迪会做的事 |
| [00:47] | Wait a minute… | 慢着 |
| [00:53] | Was this you? | 是你吗 |
| [00:54] | No. | 不是 |
| [00:55] | I like a little more of a story. | 我喜欢有故事的 |
| [00:57] | I’m old-fashioned. | 我这人很传统 |
| [01:00] | Hey, come on, don’t you supervise him when he’s online? | 拜托 他上网时你不监督吗 |
| [01:02] | When he’s online? He’s online all the time. | 他上网时 他随时在上网 |
| [01:05] | If I was gonna watch | 如果我得 |
| [01:06] | what he’s doing, I’d have to… | 一直盯着他 那我就得 |
| [01:07] | quit my job and give the other two kids away. | 辞掉工作 把其他俩孩子送人 |
| [01:11] | Oh, I know. | 我知道 |
| [01:14] | My precious, innocent Teddy | 我的天真宝贝泰迪 |
| [01:16] | isn’t so innocent anymore. | 不再天真了 |
| [01:17] | Now he’s-he’s just like… | 现在他成了 |
| [01:20] | one of you. | 跟你们一样了 |
| [01:25] | She’s not wrong. | 她没说错 |
| [01:28] | Look at her. I mean, why is it always some hoochie mama? | 瞧她 为什么裸女总是一副浪荡模样 |
| [01:31] | I mean, where are the naked doctors? | 裸医生在哪里 |
| [01:34] | Naked astronauts? | 裸宇航员 |
| [01:35] | Naked presidents? | 裸总统 |
| [01:37] | They’re out there. Put dot com | 就在网上 |
| [01:39] | at the end of any one of those, you’ll find it. | 你自己搜索一下 就能找到 |
| [01:42] | Okay, look… we can’t just let Teddy sit around | 听着 我们不能坐视不理 |
| [01:44] | and look at the top half of naked women. | 让泰迪就这么看裸上身的女人 |
| [01:47] | – W-What are you gonna do? – What am I gonna do? | -你打算怎么做 -我打算怎么做 |
| [01:49] | – Yeah. – Oh, no, no. You are gonna have | -对 -不 你必须 |
| [01:51] | the birds and the bees talk with him. | 对他进行性教育 |
| [01:53] | Oh, the talk? | 那个谈话啊 |
| [01:59] | Well, can’t that wait until | 就不能等到 |
| [02:00] | he starts looking at the bottom half? | 他开始看裸下半身再说吗 |
| [02:04] | Because that’s where the questions come in. | 因为看到那才会产生各种问题 |
| [02:07] | No, Adam, there’s no avoiding this. | 不 亚当 不能逃避 |
| [02:09] | I do the girls, you do the boy. | 我负责女儿 你负责儿子 |
| [02:12] | It’s your job. | 那是你的任务 |
| [02:13] | All right, fine, I’ll handle it. | 好吧 我会处理 |
| [02:15] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [02:16] | Oh, and when you talk to him, | 你跟他谈的时候 |
| [02:18] | d-don’t mention the pictures, okay? | 别提照片 |
| [02:19] | We don’t want there to be any shame involved. | 我们不要让他觉得羞愧 |
| [02:21] | How do I talk about this stuff without shame? | 谈这个怎么可能没有羞愧 |
| [02:25] | They go hand in hand. | 性与羞愧是分不开的 |
| [02:26] | Yeah, shame’s what makes it hot. | 对 有了羞愧更来劲 |
| [02:30] | No, we’re not trying to make it hot, Don. | 我们不是想要更来劲 唐 |
| [02:34] | No, and if you want, um, | 如果你需要 |
| [02:35] | I got this book | 我有本书 |
| [02:37] | to give Kate the talk. | 跟凯蒂讲时用过的 |
| [02:39] | And the book came with these two | 书还带了两个 |
| [02:41] | anatomically correct dolls, Sandy and Randy. | 可以区别性别的娃娃 桑迪和兰迪 |
| [02:46] | Educational body buddies. | 性教育伙伴 |
| [02:49] | They look just like regular dolls. | 看起来和普通娃娃没区别 |
| [02:53] | take a look under that Velcro flap. | 看看尼龙扣尿门下面 |
| [03:03] | Looks like Randy just got out of the pool. | 看来兰迪刚出泳池 |
| [03:20] | Teddy. | 泰迪 |
| [03:24] | Hi, Dad. | 爸 |
| [03:25] | Hey, buddy, uh… | 小家伙 |
| [03:30] | You know, | 是这样的 |
| [03:32] | I was just thinking that, uh, | 我在想 |
| [03:35] | maybe we should have a conversation | 也许我们应该聊聊 |
| [03:37] | about where babies come from. | 宝宝是怎么来的 |
| [03:41] | So, why don’t you tell me what you know, | 不如你跟我说说你知道的 |
| [03:43] | and, uh, I’ll fill in the rest. | 然后我来补充 |
| [03:47] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [03:49] | Well, a man and a woman | 一个男人和一个女人 |
| [03:51] | lie down together, usually in a bed. | 躺在一起 通常是躺在床上 |
| [03:54] | Ah, you’re a traditionalist. | 你是传统型的 |
| [03:56] | I like it. | 我喜欢 |
| [03:59] | Then a golden egg appears between them. | 然后一个金蛋出现在他们中间 |
| [04:06] | Uh, a what now? | 什么东西 |
| [04:09] | A golden egg. | 金蛋 |
| [04:11] | The woman eats it and a few months later she has a baby. | 女人吃下去 几个月后她就生宝宝了 |
| [04:19] | Then the man falls asleep | 然后男人睡着 |
| [04:20] | and the woman yells at him. | 然后女人吼他 |
| [04:29] | You nailed it, boss. | 说得太精彩了 小伙子 |
| [04:31] | Yeah. | 是的 |
| [04:33] | There you go. Okay. | 给你 好了 |
| [04:42] | How did it go with the boy? | 你儿子怎么样 |
| [04:44] | Well, one of us is wrong about where babies come from. | 某个人搞错了宝宝是怎么来的 |
| [04:52] | And, uh, I’m pretty sure it’s him. | 我相当肯定是他 |
| [04:57] | So he didn’t know anything? | 他什么也不知道 |
| [04:59] | No. So I bailed. | 不知道 所以我逃了 |
| [05:02] | And I think that’s okay. I mean, | 我觉得没事 |
| [05:03] | no one ever had the talk with me. | 从来没人和我谈过这事 |
| [05:06] | I did. When you were eight. | 我和你谈过 你8岁的时候 |
| [05:09] | I told you babies came out of your butt. | 我告诉你 宝宝是从你的屁股里出来的 |
| [05:10] | And you believed me. | 你还相信我了 |
| [05:17] | Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. | 那事我还真忘了 |
| [05:20] | That was not cool. Every time I went | 你真的太讨厌了 |
| [05:21] | to the bathroom I was afraid | 我每次去洗手间 |
| [05:22] | I was gonna have a baby. | 都害怕会生出孩子来 |
| [05:27] | I got to go back up there. | 我还得再上去 |
| [05:28] | Even I know that’s the right thing to do. | 连我都知道这样做是对的 |
| [05:30] | Hey, come with me. If the two of us are there, it’ll seem… | 来吧 如果我们两个人都在的话 就会 |
| [05:34] | it’ll seem more like a casual conversation. | 就会看起来像是普通随意的谈话 |
| [05:37] | Okay, yeah. | 好吧 行 |
| [05:38] | We’re family. Mm. | 我们是一家人 |
| [05:39] | – We help each other out. – Okay. | -要互相帮助 -好 |
| [05:53] | Teddy. | 泰迪 |
| [05:55] | Yeah? | 怎么 |
| [05:57] | So, uh… | 那个 |
| [05:59] | turns out that your | 我发现你那个 |
| [06:02] | golden egg theory was a little off. | 金蛋故事有点不太对 |
| [06:06] | So I’m here to give you the real story. | 所以我来给你讲真实的故事是什么样 |
| [06:09] | And I brought two friends of mine. | 我带了两个朋友来 |
| [06:12] | This is Sandy | 这位是桑迪 |
| [06:14] | and this is Randy. | 这位是兰迪 |
| [06:16] | And they really, really love each other. | 他们非常非常地相爱 |
| [06:20] | Okay, uh… | 好吧 |
| [06:25] | hold on to your hat. | 做好心理准备 |
| [06:28] | And, uh, that’s pretty much that. | 然后差不多就这样了 |
| [06:33] | Now, I know it’s a lot to take in, | 我知道这信息量有点大 |
| [06:37] | but, uh… | 不过 |
| [06:48] | You, uh, you doing okay there, buddy? | 你 你还好吧 儿子 |
| [06:54] | I, uh… | 我… |
| [07:05] | Here’s ten dollars. Buy yourself something nice, okay? | 给你十美元 去买点喜欢的东西吧 |
| [07:10] | Oh, hey, honey, I have a-a safety meeting at the hospital, | 亲爱的 我要去医院参加个安全会议 |
| [07:13] | but I brought home some pizza for the… | 不过我带了披萨回来给… |
| [07:20] | What happened to you? | 你这是怎么了 |
| [07:23] | I just put on a pornographic puppet show | 我给我唯一的儿子 |
| [07:25] | for my only son. | 演了一出色情木偶剧 |
| [07:28] | Well, hey, you had the talk with Teddy, that’s great. | 你跟泰迪聊了那些东西 挺好的 |
| [07:31] | Yeah, and a puppet show, you found a way to make it fun. | 还是木偶剧 也算是寓教于乐了 |
| [07:37] | I wouldn’t call it fun. | 倒不觉得有多乐 |
| [07:39] | I was just gonna give him the basics, but.. | 我本来只想给他讲讲基本常识 但是 |
| [07:41] | he kept staring at me. | 他一直盯着我看 |
| [07:43] | So I kept filling the silences with more detail. | 然后我为了填补沉默 加了很多细节 |
| [07:47] | You know, and, | 是这样 然后 |
| [07:48] | and the quieter he got, | 他越沉默 |
| [07:49] | the more I explained, and… | 我解释得越多 |
| [07:51] | and then, ’cause I thought I’d never see happiness | 然后 我觉得在儿子的眼中 |
| [07:54] | in my son’s eyes again, | 可能再也看不见快乐了 |
| [07:56] | I gave him ten dollars. | 就给了他十美元 |
| [07:59] | Okay, well, I-I don’t know if combining money and sex | 好吧 我觉得第一课就把性和金钱联系起来 |
| [08:02] | is a great first lesson. | 可能不是个好主意 |
| [08:05] | I was buying a ticket out of that room. | 我就是花钱逃出那个房间而已 |
| [08:07] | I would have paid anything. | 花多少代价我都愿意 |
| [08:09] | Was it this horrible when you | 你当初跟凯蒂谈这个事时 |
| [08:11] | had the talk with Katie? | 也是这么糟糕吗 |
| [08:12] | No, but, you know, | 不 不过呢 |
| [08:14] | mothers and daughters understand each other. | 母女之间是互相懂得的 |
| [08:15] | There’s a lot more unsaid than said. | 很多话根本就不需要说出来 |
| [08:18] | Oh, I had to explain everything. | 我必须要解释每一件事 |
| [08:21] | Starting with what goes where. | 从什么东西放在哪个地方开始 |
| [08:24] | He had no idea about the where. | 他对那个地方一无所知 |
| [08:27] | And, honestly, | 而且 说实话 |
| [08:28] | he was a little hazy on the what. | 他对那个东西也不很清楚 |
| [08:31] | He… But he has a what. | 不过他有那个东西 |
| [08:33] | He doesn’t know what the what’s for. | 他不知道那个能用来干吗 |
| [08:36] | Okay, but he-he was looking at those pictures, | 行行 可他在看那些图片 |
| [08:39] | he must have known something. | 他肯定知道些什么 |
| [08:40] | Not a clue. | 什么都不知道 |
| [08:41] | A-And the new information? | 而我新教的那些东西 |
| [08:43] | – He doesn’t love it. – You know what, honey, | -他不喜欢 -亲爱的 |
| [08:45] | he just, he needs some time to process this, that’s all. | 他只不过需要一些时间来消化 就这样而已 |
| [08:48] | Like that time in the mall bathroom | 就好像那次在商场洗手间里 |
| [08:50] | when he saw Santa Claus at the urinal. | 他看见圣诞老人小便 |
| [08:52] | Oh, yeah. Yeah, and Santa said to Teddy | 对对 圣诞老人还跟他说 |
| [08:55] | – I’m sorry, I couldn’t ho-ho-hold it. – Yeah. | -真抱歉 我实在抓不住 -对 |
| [08:59] | Yeah, I know. | 对 我记得 |
| [09:01] | I mean, he got through that, he’ll get through this too. | 那件事他都撑过去了 这事也没问题的 |
| [09:04] | I don’t know. Explaining to him what men and women do, | 我不知道 向他解释男人和女人做什么 |
| [09:07] | saying it out loud? | 还大声说出来 |
| [09:09] | I was just as shocked as he was. | 我跟他一样震惊 |
| [09:13] | We should be ashamed of ourselves. | 我们应该感到羞愧 |
| [09:17] | Oh, you’re in bad shape. | 你看起来不太好 |
| [09:18] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [09:20] | Uh, look, honey, I’m sorry, | 宝贝 我很抱歉 |
| [09:21] | – I can’t get out of this meeting, but I… It’s okay. | -医院那个会我逃不了 可我… -没关系 |
| [09:23] | I’m really proud of you for handling this. | 你能处理这件事我觉得很了不起 |
| [09:26] | You want some crackers for your tummy? | 想吃点饼干吗 |
| [09:29] | Yeah, that-that sounds nice. | 听起来不错 |
| [09:30] | Thank you. Okay. Okay. | 谢谢你 |
| [09:32] | I’ll, um… | 我 |
| [09:33] | – I’ll get home as-as soon as I can. – All right. | -我尽早回来 -好吧 |
| [09:47] | You’re moving, that’s good. | 你还能动 很好 |
| [09:50] | Why did you tell me that stuff? | 你为什么要告诉我那些东西 |
| [09:52] | I thought we were friends. | 我们不是朋友吗 |
| [09:57] | Because of the pictures. | 因为你看了那些图片 |
| [09:59] | What pictures? | 什么图片 |
| [10:00] | The ones you were looking at | 你昨天晚上 |
| [10:01] | on your iPad last night. | 在平板上看的那些 |
| [10:03] | I wasn’t on my iPad last night. | 我昨晚没有用平板 |
| [10:04] | Kate borrowed it. | 凯蒂借走了 |
| [10:08] | Katie? | 凯蒂 |
| [10:09] | Why would Katie be looking at that stuff? | 凯蒂为什么要看那些东西 |
| [10:11] | I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore. | 我不知道 我现在什么都不知道了 |
| [10:16] | I’m gonna take my pizza out to the swing set | 我要把披萨拿到外面秋千上去吃 |
| [10:18] | and remember what it was like to be a child. | 回忆一下当小孩是什么感觉 |
| [10:22] | Okay, buddy. | 好吧儿子 |
| [10:24] | Hey, uh, Teddy, listen, um… | 泰迪 听我说 |
| [10:28] | That thing we talked about upstairs, right? | 我们在楼上聊的那件事 |
| [10:32] | It’s good. | 是很好的 |
| [10:35] | Even when it’s bad… | 即便在不好的情况下 |
| [10:38] | it’s good. | 也是好的 |
| [10:41] | Can we stop talking now? | 我们能不能就此打住 |
| [10:42] | Yeah, okay. | 好 好 |
| [10:52] | Why do you have Teddy’s iPad? | 你怎么拿着泰迪的平板电脑 |
| [10:54] | Well, because there are some very | 因为上面存了 |
| [10:55] | interesting pictures on it. | 很多有趣的图片 |
| [10:58] | Why are you telling me? I never had it. | 跟我说干什么 我从没拿过 |
| [10:59] | Oh, well, he says you did. | 他说你用过 |
| [11:01] | Hey, let’s go question him together. | 我们一起去审问他吧 |
| [11:03] | I’ll be the good cop, | 我扮好警察 |
| [11:04] | and, you, you be the cop | 你扮那个撒谎的 |
| [11:06] | that lies about being on the iPad. | 那个警察 |
| [11:07] | Come on. | 来 |
| [11:09] | Okay. Fine, it was me. | 好吧 是我 |
| [11:11] | Wh…? | 什么 |
| [11:14] | Why? | 为什么 |
| [11:16] | I was getting changed for gym, and… | 我在健身房换衣服的时候 |
| [11:18] | some girls have small ones and some girls have big ones | 看见有些姑娘的那个小 有些大 |
| [11:21] | and some girls have… really weird ones and I just, | 有些很奇怪 我就… |
| [11:23] | I wanted to see what the average was, I don’t know. | 我想看一下正常的 我也说不清 |
| [11:24] | I-I don’t want to talk about it and everything’s fine. | 我不想再说了 没什么好说的 |
| [11:27] | O-Okay. Okay, I get it. That, uh… | 好 我懂 你说的 |
| [11:30] | that makes sense. | 很在理 |
| [11:39] | Here’s ten dollars. Go buy yourself something nice, okay? | 给你十块钱 去买点喜欢的东西吧 |
| [11:50] | Look, honey… | 亲爱的 |
| [11:52] | I think you’re perfect. | 我觉得你很完美 |
| [11:54] | Okay? And, in the future, when you have questions like this, | 好吗 以后再有这一类问题 |
| [12:00] | just ask Mom. | 直接问妈妈就好 |
| [12:02] | Okay? Because… | 好吗 因为… |
| [12:03] | she gave you the birds and the bees talk, | 她跟你聊过了这方面的话题 |
| [12:05] | so you already have, you know, open channels. | 所以你们已经有一个沟通渠道 |
| [12:09] | We never had a talk about that. | 我们从没聊过这方面 |
| [12:10] | What? She never showed you any dolls? | 什么 她没给你展示过那些小人吗 |
| [12:14] | Wh-What? | 什么 |
| [12:14] | Dirty dolls– have you seen them? | 污污的小人 你没见过吗 |
| [12:17] | No, I learned all about that stuff in health class at school. | 没 我都是在学校生理课上学的 |
| [12:20] | What? They still teach that? | 什么 他们还教这呢 |
| [12:23] | I could’ve stayed completely out of this? | 原来我根本不用操心这事 |
| [12:25] | Oh, I have been misinformed about a lot of things lately! | 最近我接受了太多错误信息 |
| [12:29] | It’s butt babies all over again! | 简直就是屁股生孩事件重演 |
| [12:36] | Hey, honey. | 亲爱的 |
| [12:37] | How was your night? How’s Teddy? | 今晚怎样 泰迪如何 |
| [12:39] | Not bad, liar. | 还行 骗子 |
| [12:45] | What? | 什么 |
| [12:46] | A lot happened tonight while you were gone. | 今晚你走后发生了好多事 |
| [12:50] | Turns out it was Katie who was looking | 是凯蒂在网上 |
| [12:52] | at those pictures on the Internet. | 搜的那些图片 |
| [12:54] | Are you serious? | 你开玩笑的吧 |
| [12:56] | – Mm-hmm. – Our Katie? | -没 -我们凯蒂 |
| [12:57] | Yeah, yeah, and that’s just the beginning | 对 然而这才只是 |
| [12:59] | of the revelations. | 一系列事件的开始 |
| [13:04] | I also found out | 我还发现 |
| [13:06] | that you never had the birds and the bees talk with Katie | 你从来没跟凯蒂讲过两性间的那点事 |
| [13:09] | like you told me you did. | 你却骗我你跟她谈过了 |
| [13:15] | Yeah. Yeah, you talk the talk, | 对 你说的跟真的一样 |
| [13:17] | but you don’t talk the talk. | 明明就在撒谎 |
| [13:19] | Okay. | 听我说 |
| [13:21] | Okay… I meant to talk to her. | 我本来是想跟她谈的 |
| [13:23] | I bought the book and the dolls. | 我买了书和小人 |
| [13:24] | And then when I went up to her room, she was sitting there, | 结果我一进她的房间 看见她坐在那儿 |
| [13:26] | playing with a stuffed unicorn. I just couldn’t do it. | 玩独角兽毛绒玩具 我就说不出口了 |
| [13:29] | Teddy was playing with a yo-yo, but I powered through. | 当时泰迪还在玩悠悠球 我不是照样说了 |
| [13:36] | Okay, but, you know, then I thought I would just wait | 我就想着 这事可以缓一缓 |
| [13:38] | for a natural time, when she’d say something. | 等到她来问我 |
| [13:40] | And-and then, you know, I’d say, | 然后我再说 |
| [13:42] | Ey, it’s funny you should bring that up. | 这件事还挺有趣的 |
| [13:44] | But that never happened. | 但她一直没来找我 |
| [13:45] | And then, | 后来 |
| [13:46] | one day, I got a, | 有一天 我发现了 |
| [13:48] | you know, a permission slip | 一张生理卫生课的 |
| [13:49] | for a special health class. | 家长同意书 |
| [13:51] | So, you know, I just… | 所以 我就… |
| [13:53] | let it ride. | 顺其自然了 |
| [13:56] | – Let it ride. – Yeah. | -顺其自然了 -对 |
| [13:59] | Did not know that was an option, Mrs. Pants On Fire! | 还能这样呢 大骗子 |
| [14:01] | Oh, come on! | 够了 |
| [14:03] | You are not mad because I lied– | 你气的不是我撒谎 |
| [14:05] | you’re mad because I figured out a way to get out of this | 而是我找到了一个脱身之计 |
| [14:07] | and you couldn’t. | 而你没有 |
| [14:08] | I outmaneuvered you. | 我比你聪明 |
| [14:10] | No! It’s because… | 不 我气的是… |
| [14:12] | Yes, that’s exactly it! | 对 你说的没错 |
| [14:16] | Well, congratulations. | 恭喜 |
| [14:18] | You almost got away clean. | 你差点就成功了 |
| [14:21] | Wh-What do you mean, almost? | 什么叫差点 |
| [14:22] | Turns out Katie was looking at those pictures | 凯蒂之所以会看那些图片 |
| [14:24] | because she has some intimate, | 是因为她对自己的女性身体 |
| [14:27] | private lady questions about her body. | 有一些难以启齿的问题 |
| [14:32] | Questions that only her mother can answer. | 这些问题只有当妈的才能回答 |
| [14:39] | Fine, I will talk to her tomorrow. | 好 我明天和她谈 |
| [14:43] | This is gonna be so awkward. | 想想就觉得很尴尬 |
| [14:48] | I hope so. | 那就对了 |
| [14:53] | Katie… | 凯蒂 |
| [14:57] | Katie, Katie, Kate, Kate. | 凯蒂 凯蒂 凯蒂 |
| [15:00] | What’s up? | 怎么了 |
| [15:02] | So… | 我 |
| [15:04] | I’d like to tell you the story of my breasts. | 我想跟你聊聊胸部的问题 |
| [15:07] | Oh, my God! Please stop talking! | 神啊 别说了 |
| [15:12] | Kate sounds mad at Mommy. | 凯蒂好像生妈妈的气了 |
| [15:14] | Isn’t it glorious? | 多好啊 |
| [15:20] | I finished my lunch, Daddy. Can I go play? | 我吃完午饭了 爸爸 我能去玩吗 |
| [15:22] | Yes, go play. That’s what the world needs. | 玩去吧 这才是世界所需要的 |
| [15:28] | All right, I still got one. | 还行 还有一个天真的 |
| [15:31] | Well, uh, Kate and Teddy are gonna pass on lunch. | 凯蒂和泰迪不打算吃午饭了 |
| [15:34] | They said they don’t think they’ll ever be hungry again. | 他们说感觉再也不会饿了 |
| [15:39] | Well, it’s official. | 这下没跑了 |
| [15:39] | We are really bad at these talks. | 我们真的很不擅长性教育 |
| [15:42] | And yet so good at the thing itself. | 但我们自己在这方面很擅长啊 |
| [15:45] | Well, that’s because we don’t talk during the thing. | 因为我们不用说话 |
| [15:48] | We tried once. | 我们试过一次 |
| [15:49] | You got bossy. | 你变得很强势 |
| [15:51] | You know, the problem is | 问题是 |
| [15:52] | that n-now we’ve made this subject so horribly awkward | 我们把这事搞得让孩子们很尴尬 |
| [15:54] | for our kids, and we need to undo it. | 我们得解除尴尬 |
| [15:56] | Otherwise, they’re never gonna talk to us about anything. | 不然以后他们再也不会跟我们说任何事了 |
| [15:59] | You’re saying we have to have another terrible talk | 你是说我们得再来一次尴尬的谈话 |
| [16:01] | to ensure future terrible talks? | 以确保将来还能继续尴尬的谈话 |
| [16:04] | Exactly. | 没错 |
| [16:05] | I thought if I said it out loud it might change your mind. | 我以为我大声说出来 你就会改变主意 |
| [16:14] | Emme’s gonna stay upstairs, right? | 艾米会继续待在楼上吧 |
| [16:15] | Yeah, yeah. I gave her a bowl of candy and shut her door. | 对对 我给了她一碗糖果 关上了门 |
| [16:18] | We won’t see her for a while, but, when we do, | 应该有一阵儿见不到她了 但等见到她 |
| [16:20] | she’s gonna be riding the dragon. | 她肯定吃糖吃嗨了 |
| [16:24] | Okay. Let’s do this. All right. | 好吧 我们来吧 |
| [16:33] | Oh, no. | 不是吧 |
| [16:35] | Okay, guys, I… | 听着 |
| [16:37] | I think we kind of screwed this whole thing up, | 我们好像搞砸了这事 |
| [16:40] | all right? We made what happens between a man and a woman… | 让你们感觉男人跟女人之间的事 |
| [16:44] | u-upsetting. | 令人不快 |
| [16:45] | Or a man and a man and a woman and a woman. | 或是男人跟男人 女人跟女人 |
| [16:49] | What?! | 什么 |
| [16:53] | Okay, don’t worry, don’t worry. | 别担心 别担心 |
| [16:54] | We don’t have the dolls for that. | 我们没有娃娃演示那种情况 |
| [16:57] | The point is that we want you guys to feel comfortable | 重点是我们想让你们能安心 |
| [17:00] | talking to us about any questions you may have. | 跟我们说出你们心中的各种疑惑 |
| [17:03] | Yeah. Exactly. We don’t want you to go to the Internet. | 没错 我们不想你们自己上网找答案 |
| [17:07] | We want you to come to us. | 我们想让你们来找我们 |
| [17:08] | Because, really, | 因为这事 |
| [17:10] | all this is totally natural and beautiful. | 真的很正常 而且很美妙 |
| [17:13] | Exactly. | 没错 |
| [17:14] | Like-like when your mom and I… | 比如我跟你妈妈 |
| [17:16] | Okay, okay, okay. Not us. | 好好 不拿我们举例 |
| [17:19] | Two-two other people, like, uh… | 两个其他人 比如 |
| [17:21] | Patrick Dempsey. | 帕特里克·德姆西 |
| [17:26] | Patrick Dempsey? | 帕特里克·德姆西 |
| [17:28] | All right, fine. Then I’m going with, uh, Jennifer Lawrence. | 好吧 那我就选詹妮弗·劳伦斯 |
| [17:33] | She is half your age. | 她的年龄比你小一半呢 |
| [17:36] | Hey, when I imagine these things, I’m half my age, too. | 我想象这些画面时 我也比自己小一半 |
| [17:40] | – What are you guys doing? – Okay, okay. | -你俩干什么呢 -好吧 |
| [17:42] | H-Here’s the point. | 重点是这个 |
| [17:45] | When these things happen, | 当这件事发生时 |
| [17:47] | two human beings connect on a very intimate level. | 两个人类之间有了非常亲密的接触 |
| [17:50] | I-It’s not about the mechanics. It’s… | 重点不是原理 而是 |
| [17:53] | it’s about the love. | 而是爱 |
| [17:54] | Now, here’s how we should’ve explained it in the first place. | 我们一开始就该这么跟你们解释 |
| [17:58] | Just like we practiced. | 就像我们之前练习的那样 |
| [17:59] | I got it. | 我懂 |
| [18:09] | Hello. | 你好 |
| [18:12] | I am a man. | 我是个男人 |
| [18:13] | And I have loved you for a very long time. | 我爱了你很长一段时间 |
| [18:17] | And I am a woman. | 我是个女人 |
| [18:19] | And you look like a good project for me to improve. | 你看起来很需要我的改造 |
| [18:24] | Very funny, Sandy. | 真风趣 桑迪 |
| [18:26] | Now that we’ve finished college, | 我们现在都大学毕业了 |
| [18:29] | let’s take the next step. | 我们进入下一阶段吧 |
| [18:32] | I am just so glad we didn’t meet in a bar. | 我很高兴我们不是在酒吧认识的 |
| [18:37] | Should we make a baby? | 我们要生个宝宝吗 |
| [18:39] | Heck yeah! | 当然要了 |
| [18:42] | It’s our biological imperative. | 这是生物必要性 |
| [18:46] | Hey, let’s call our parents and discuss our options. | 我们打给父母讨论一下吧 |
| [18:51] | Or we could just walk over there, | 我们也可以走过去 |
| [18:53] | because we love them so much, | 因为我们特别爱他们 |
| [18:55] | we live right down the street. | 所以跟他们住在一条街上 |
| [19:00] | The end. | 结束 |
| [19:02] | Of act one. | 第一幕结束 |
| [19:08] | What are you reading? | 你看什么书呢 |
| [19:09] | The book that came with the dolls. | 买娃娃附赠的书 |
| [19:13] | Surprisingly, | 没想到 |
| [19:14] | there’s a few things in here I thought we could try. | 这里面有些东西我们都可以试试 |
| [19:18] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [19:19] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [19:21] | Might I direct your attention to this illustration, | 斗胆请你仔细看看这幅插图 |
| [19:25] | and ask that you pretend they are not cartoon bears. | 请假装他们不是卡通熊 |
| [19:30] | I-I think he’s just giving her a massage. | 我觉得他只是给她按摩而已 |
| [19:32] | Nah. No, no, no, no. | 不不不 |
| [19:34] | Look at the smile on her face. | 瞧瞧她脸上的笑容 |
| [19:39] | Something’s going on with that back paw. | 后面的爪子肯定没老实放着 |
| [19:44] | Hello. | 你好 |
| [19:46] | I am a man. | 我是个男人 |
| [19:50] | And I have loved you for a very long time. | 我爱了你很长一段时间 |
| [19:54] | Well, hello. | 你好 |
| [19:56] | I am a woman. | 我是个女人 |
| [19:58] | And I think your project does not need improving. | 我觉得你很棒 不需要我的改造了 |
| [20:03] | Turn off the lights. | 关灯 |
| [20:05] | So bossy. | 真强势 |
| [20:14] | – So what did you bring for show-and-tell today, Emme? – This. | -今天的展示说明 你带来什么了 -这个 |
| [20:21] | These are special dolls that my mommy and daddy have. | 这是我妈妈和爸爸的很特别的娃娃 |
| [20:25] | And what makes them so special? | 他们的特别之处在哪里 |
| [20:27] | This does. | 这里 |
| [20:29] | Oh, dear Lord! Everybody, heads on the desk, eyes closed! | 我的天 全部趴在桌子上 闭上眼睛 |