| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:02] | So, you guys have a big anniversary coming up, huh? | 你们的重要结婚纪念日就快到了吧 |
| [00:05] | Yup. 20 years. | 对 20年 |
| [00:06] | 20 years with Don. | 和唐共度20年 |
| [00:08] | That is hard time. | 漫长岁月真艰难 |
| [00:11] | You know, you might want | 你最好送她件 |
| [00:11] | to get her something more romantic | 浪漫的礼物 |
| [00:13] | than last year’s Chipotle gift card. | 至少别是去年送的墨西哥快餐店礼品卡那种 |
| [00:17] | It was $19– a dollar a year. | 19块的礼品卡 1块钱代表一周年 |
| [00:20] | It’s not about how much he spends on me. | 重点不是他为我花了多少钱 |
| [00:22] | That’s my girl. | 我的好老婆 |
| [00:23] | It’s about finding a gift that’s thoughtful, | 而是找到一份有心意 有意义 |
| [00:25] | meaningful, that shows how well he knows me. | 表示他很了解我的礼物 |
| [00:27] | Oh, so you want disappointment for your anniversary. | 原来你的结婚周年礼物想要失望 |
| [00:31] | Mom, can we go to the mall tomorrow? | 妈 明天我们去商场好吗 |
| [00:33] | I found the perfect outfit for Saturday night. | 我找到了最合适周六晚的衣服 |
| [00:35] | Oh, what’s, uh… what’s Saturday night? | 周六晚做什么 |
| [00:37] | My first date. | 我的初次约会 |
| [00:38] | What? | 什么 |
| [00:41] | Um, actually, honey, | 其实吧 亲爱的 |
| [00:42] | I-I haven’t really discussed that with your dad, yet. | 这事我还没告诉你爸 |
| [00:48] | Just remember, Daddy, you’re my hero. | 记住 爸比 你是我的英雄 |
| [00:53] | Buckle up, baby. | 坐稳看好戏 亲爱的 |
| [00:56] | Katie has a date Saturday night? | 凯蒂周六晚有约会 |
| [00:57] | When were you planning on telling me about this? | 你打算什么时候告诉我这事 |
| [00:59] | Sunday morning. | 星期天早上 |
| [01:02] | We agreed she was not gonna date until she’s 35. | 我们说好了她在35岁前不能约会 |
| [01:06] | No, you just said that one day after we watched Teen Mom. | 不 那是我们看完《少女妈妈》后你说的 |
| [01:10] | She’s almost 14. Most of her friends | 她快14岁了 她的大多数朋友 |
| [01:12] | have been dating for months. | 已经约会好几个月了 |
| [01:13] | This is when it starts. | 一切就是这样开始的 |
| [01:15] | I was 13 when I first went out with Don. | 我跟唐初次约会时就是13岁 |
| [01:17] | You hear that? | 听到了吗 |
| [01:18] | Marcy could have been somebody. | 玛茜本来可以有所成就的 |
| [01:21] | Come on, it’s not like I’m making her a child bride. | 拜托 我又没让她去做童养媳 |
| [01:25] | She’s just going out with that nice boy from her class– Royce. | 她只是和班上那个不错的男生罗伊斯约会 |
| [01:29] | Royce? Royce– with all the hair and the wallet on a chain? | 罗伊斯 头发长长用链子拴个钱包的罗伊斯吗 |
| [01:33] | What’s a 13-year-old kid need a wallet for anyway? | 13岁的小屁孩要钱包做什么 |
| [01:36] | Condoms. | 放套套 |
| [01:37] | Don! | 唐 |
| [01:39] | No, he’s right. | 不 他说得对 |
| [01:40] | You know, I’ve seen that Royce kid around. | 我看到过那个罗伊斯 |
| [01:42] | He’s a player. | 他是个花花公子 |
| [01:43] | And you know this because? | 你知道是因为你… |
| [01:45] | Andi. Who are you talking to? | 安迪 瞧瞧你在跟谁说话 |
| [01:48] | I was 14 once. I know the game. | 我也少年过 这套把戏熟的很 |
| [01:51] | Right? You give the gals a little bit of this, | 明白吗 给一个妹子来点这样 |
| [01:53] | a little bit of that, | 来点那样 |
| [01:55] | and all the red lights turn green! | 所有不要和停 都变成不要停了 |
| [01:58] | Oh, my God. | 我的天 |
| [02:00] | Trust me. I can spot my own kind. | 相信我 我可以发现我的同类 |
| [02:03] | Yeah, we players know players. | 对 我们花花公子认得出同类 |
| [02:05] | Well, look, you’re being protective, all right? | 你这是想保护女儿 |
| [02:08] | And-and I love that about you, but we both know | 我喜欢你的这点 但我们都知道 |
| [02:10] | that you are not gonna like anyone she dates. | 但凡跟她约会的男生 你都不会喜欢的 |
| [02:13] | No. No, that’s not it. | 不 不是这样的 |
| [02:14] | My instincts are telling me that this kid is no good. | 我的直觉告诉我这小子不是好人 |
| [02:17] | And I don’t want Katie dating him. | 我不想让凯蒂和他约会 |
| [02:19] | Okay, well, I already told her that she could. | 我已经跟她说同意了 |
| [02:21] | If it makes you feel any better, I-I can… | 希望这样能安慰你一下 我可以… |
| [02:23] | I can do a little of this. | 来点这样 |
| [02:26] | And a little bit of that. | 来点那样 |
| [02:39] | That’s not how you do it. | 你怎么做都无济于事 |
| [02:42] | Okay, and you can’t just make a unilateral decision. | 而且你不能做单方面的决定 |
| [02:44] | We discuss things in this family. | 我们在家里万事要商量 |
| [02:46] | Well, yes, usually, but, you know, I knew you’d say no, | 通常是 但我知道这事你不会同意 |
| [02:50] | and then, I’d veto your no, so then I just thought, hey, | 我会否决你的不同意 然后我想 |
| [02:53] | why not just cut out the middle man? | 不如去掉中间人吧 |
| [02:56] | Okay, well, first of all | 好的 首先 |
| [02:58] | I’m not the middle man. | 我不是中间人 |
| [03:00] | Okay? I am the man. | 好吗 我是男人 |
| [03:04] | And second of all, if you’re going to unilaterally | 其次 如果你单方面决定 |
| [03:06] | decide she can go, then I’m going to unilaterally | 她可以去 那我也单方面决定 |
| [03:08] | decide that your decision is caca. | 你的决定 是”米田共” |
| [03:12] | Oh, don’t you remember Romeo and Juliet? | 你忘了《罗密欧和茱丽叶》吗 |
| [03:14] | If you don’t give your daughter the freedom to date | 如果你不给女儿自由去约会 |
| [03:16] | who she wants, it does not end well. | 她想约的人 结局可不好 |
| [03:19] | Oh. Well, don’t you remember those Taken movies? | 你忘了《飓风营救》吗 |
| [03:21] | That’s what happens when you give your daughter freedom. | 给女儿自由就是那个下场 |
| [03:23] | Taken, Andi. One, two, three times they get taken. | 被绑架 安迪 被绑架一二三次 |
| [03:45] | Okay, bye, guys. In you go. | 拜拜 进去吧 |
| [03:46] | – Bye, Daddy. – Bye-bye. | -拜 爸爸 -拜拜 |
| [03:48] | Hey, Royce. | 罗伊斯 |
| [03:49] | What’s up, girl? | 好啊 妹子 |
| [03:53] | You see that? He called her “Girl”” | 看到没 他叫她妹子 |
| [03:55] | She has a name, Royce! | 她有名字的 罗伊斯 |
| [03:57] | Yeah, it’s Kate. Sometimes Katie. | 人家叫凯特 有时候叫凯蒂 |
| [03:59] | Ah, guys like that never listen to me. | 那样的男生从来不听我说话 |
| [04:02] | Hey, uh, Mrs. Rodriguez? | 罗德里格兹老师 |
| [04:04] | Um, what do you know about that kid Royce | 你对那个总和凯蒂在一起的 |
| [04:06] | that’s always hanging around Katie? | 罗伊斯了解多少 |
| [04:07] | Oh, he’s one of my favorites. | 他是我最喜欢的学生之一 |
| [04:09] | He’s an honor roll student, | 他是优等生 |
| [04:10] | started his own dog-walking company, | 创办了自己的遛狗公司 |
| [04:11] | even works weekends at the mall. | 周末还在商场上班 |
| [04:13] | Oh, I see, huh? He charmed you, too, huh? | 我明白了 你也迷上他了 |
| [04:16] | What’d he do, give you a little bit of this | 他做了什么 给你来点这样 |
| [04:18] | little bit of that? | 来点那样 |
| [04:20] | Stop that. What is that? | 别这样 这算什么 |
| [04:22] | There’s children here, for God sakes. | 老天 有孩子在注意影响 |
| [04:25] | I’m telling you, I have got a gut feeling | 我跟你说 我有直觉 |
| [04:27] | that this kid is no good. I just need proof. | 这孩子不是好人 我只是需要证据 |
| [04:29] | So what’s the plan, chief? | 有什么计划 老大 |
| [04:31] | Well, first, keep calling me “Chief.” I like that. | 首先继续叫我老大 我喜欢这称呼 |
| [04:34] | Ooh, okay. | 对了 |
| [04:35] | These kids put everything they do on the Internet. | 这些孩子把做的事全发网上 |
| [04:37] | – Maybe we can find something on him there. – Oh, I’m your man. | -也许在网上可以找到 -找我就对了 |
| [04:40] | If there is dirty laundry about Royce online, I’ll find it. | 如果网上有罗伊斯的丑闻 我会找到的 |
| [04:42] | I’m like Russia, but with the easy grace of France. | 我就像俄国 但有着法国的轻松高雅 |
| [04:47] | Well, I’m like America, so let’s go get a burger | 我像美国 我们去吃汉堡 |
| [04:49] | and stick our noses where they don’t belong. | 然后去管别国的闲事 |
| [04:53] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [04:54] | I managed to uncover Royce’s public Instagram page. | 我打开了罗伊斯公开的图片分享页面 |
| [04:58] | Lowell, I could have done that. | 洛厄尔 那个我也会啊 |
| [05:01] | But then we wouldn’t be on this buddy adventure. | 但那样我们就不会现在这样哥俩好了 |
| [05:06] | Oh, look at this. | 快看 |
| [05:07] | Every picture, he’s with a different girl. | 每一张照片他都跟不同的女孩在一起 |
| [05:09] | I knew Royce was a dog. I got to show this to Andi. | 我就知道罗伊斯不是好人 我得拿给安迪看 |
| [05:12] | Oh, that’s my comput… Okay, it’s fine! | 那是我的电… 好吧 没关系 |
| [05:24] | You know, I just realized we’ve never been alone together. | 你知道 我刚意识到我们从没单独相处过 |
| [05:28] | You’re an odd bird, aren’t you? | 你这人还挺奇怪的 |
| [05:31] | I have feelings, if that’s what you’re getting at. | 我是有感觉的 你是想说这个吗 |
| [05:33] | Great, because I have a question for somebody who has feelings. | 很好 我有问题想问有感觉的人 |
| [05:37] | My anniversary is coming up, and I have a gift in mind for Marcy. | 我结婚纪念日要到了 有个礼物想要送给玛茜 |
| [05:40] | Let me run it by you. | 我来跟你过一下 |
| [05:41] | Oh, I’m great at finding the perfect gift. | 我最会送礼物了 |
| [05:43] | Hit me with it. | 跟我讲讲 |
| [05:44] | A dirt bike. | 越野摩托车 |
| [05:47] | Why would you get Marcy a dirt bike? | 你为什么要送玛茜一台越野摩托车 |
| [05:49] | Ah. Because secretly, I want a dirt bike. | 因为我其实暗地里想要一台越野摩托车 |
| [05:53] | Do you see where I’m going with this? | 明白我的意思吗 |
| [05:56] | Yeah, uh, may I suggest jewelry? | 我能建议送首饰吗 |
| [06:00] | I don’t wear much jewelry. | 我不太戴首饰 |
| [06:01] | For Marcy! | 送给玛茜 |
| [06:02] | Let-Let’s think about her. | 我们 我们来想想她 |
| [06:04] | What does Marcy mean to you? | 玛茜对你来说意味着什么 |
| [06:06] | She’s the mother of my son and the love of my life. | 她是我儿子的母亲 是我一生所爱 |
| [06:09] | Good! And when you think of her, you feel? | 很好 当你想到她的时候 你觉得 |
| [06:12] | Guilty. | 很愧疚 |
| [06:14] | Something nice. | 往好了想 |
| [06:16] | Horny? | 饥渴 |
| [06:17] | Dear God. | 我的老天 |
| [06:18] | What other feelings are there? | 世界上还有别的感觉吗 |
| [06:21] | Nope. That’s all of them. | 没了 就这些了 |
| [06:26] | Whose computer is this? | 这是谁的电脑 |
| [06:27] | Will you pay attention? | 你能专心点吗 |
| [06:30] | Okay, look at Royce’s Instagram. | 好 我们来看罗伊斯发的照片 |
| [06:32] | Royce, girl. Royce, two girls. | 罗伊斯 女孩 罗伊斯 两个女孩 |
| [06:35] | Royce between two half-naked girls. | 罗伊斯在两个半裸的女孩中间 |
| [06:38] | They’re on a beach. | 人家在沙滩上 |
| [06:41] | -Read the hashtags. -#SavingaBeachedWhale. | -看看标签 -拯救搁浅鲸鱼 |
| [06:44] | #SavingTheWorld. #Peace. | 拯救世界 和平 |
| [06:46] | What a weirdo! | 怪胎一个 |
| [06:49] | Adam, you’re grasping at straws now. | 亚当 你在强抓救命稻草 |
| [06:51] | I’m telling you, | 我告诉你 |
| [06:52] | I have looked in this kid’s eyes, and they are black, | 我观察过这个孩子的眼睛 很黑 |
| [06:55] | like a shark looking for dinner. | 像一只鲨鱼在觅食 |
| [06:58] | And Katie’s just like some cute seal | 凯蒂就像是海滩上 |
| [07:00] | flopping around on the beach. With her mom telling her, | 一只可爱的海豹 她妈还在一边喊 |
| [07:02] | “Go out in the water. Play, yeah.” | 快下水啊 去玩去 |
| [07:06] | He is gonna break her heart, | 他会伤透她的心 |
| [07:07] | and I’m not gonna sit back and watch it happen. | 而我可不能坐着看戏 |
| [07:10] | Okay but you can’t just go out on your own | 行吧可你不能就这样 |
| [07:11] | and start cyber-stalking a 13-year-old. | 在网络上去偷窥13岁孩子 |
| [07:15] | Oh, really? | 真的吗 |
| [07:17] | It sounds to me like you wish we had discussed it first. | 听起来你好像希望我们能先讨论一下 |
| [07:19] | Yeah. | 对啊 |
| [07:20] | Well, I knew you’d say no, | 我知道你会反对的 |
| [07:21] | and then I’d veto your no, | 然后我会否决你的反对 |
| [07:23] | so I thought, hey, why not cut out the middle man? | 所以我想说 为什么不干脆把中间人去掉 |
| [07:25] | Yeah, it doesn’t feel good, does it? | 感觉不怎么好 是吧 |
| [07:27] | Okay, first of all, I am not the middle man. | 首先 我不是中间人 |
| [07:30] | I’m the wife. | 我是你老婆 |
| [07:32] | Which means I can stay mad a lot longer than you can. | 这就意味着 我可以比你生气更长时间 |
| [07:36] | And I have made the unilateral decision | 然后我做了两个人的决定 |
| [07:38] | that, mm, you need to stay out of this. | 那就是 你得放手不管这事 |
| [07:40] | Well, then, I just made the unilateral decision | 那好 我也做了两个人的决定 |
| [07:42] | that I’m not gonna do what you say. | 我不会照你说的做 |
| [07:44] | Yes, you will. | 你必须照做 |
| [07:48] | Whose computer is this? | 这是谁的电脑 |
| [07:52] | Okay. | 行 |
| [07:53] | Royce should be here any minute. | 罗伊斯应该分分钟就到了 |
| [07:55] | Mrs. Rodriguez told me he had a dog-walking company, | 罗德里格兹老师告诉我他开了个遛狗公司 |
| [07:57] | so I booked an appointment online to get him to come over. | 所以我在网上约了个时间让他过来 |
| [07:59] | You know, scare him a little, | 吓唬吓唬他 |
| [08:00] | show him the kind of dad he’ll be dealing with. | 让他看看是在跟什么样的父亲打交道 |
| [08:03] | Didn’t Andi say to stay out of it? | 安迪不是说别管吗 |
| [08:04] | Yeah, well, she’s not in charge. | 她说了不算 |
| [08:06] | And more importantly, she’s not here. | 更重要的是 她不在家 |
| [08:09] | All right, what do you want me to do? | 好吧 你想让我做什么 |
| [08:10] | Just back me up, all right? | 就给我撑场面就行 |
| [08:12] | Oh, you want me to be the goon, huh? | 你想让我演打手是吗 |
| [08:15] | Don’t worry. I know what to do. | 别担心 我知道怎么做 |
| [08:17] | I’m not even allowed in Chuck E. Cheese anymore. | 现在人都不让我进儿童快餐店了 |
| [08:22] | Oh, here, here, here. | 到了到了 |
| [08:23] | – Good morning, Mr. Burns. – Royce. | -早上好 伯恩斯先生 -罗伊斯 |
| [08:26] | Thanks for calling me. You won’t be sorry. | 谢谢你打给我 你不会后悔的 |
| [08:28] | When you book me, you’ll be a 100% satisfied. | 预定我的服务 保证百分百满意 |
| [08:33] | “Make the right choice. Call Royce.” | 做正确的选择 打给罗伊斯 |
| [08:37] | Is that what you tell all the girls? | 你平时都这么告诉女孩子的吗 |
| [08:39] | What? | 什么 |
| [08:40] | Did he stutter?! | 结巴了吗 |
| [08:45] | Look, I actually called you over here | 我打电话叫你过来 |
| [08:46] | for a confidential conversation, man-to-man. | 是要进行一场男人之间的机密谈话 |
| [08:49] | Nothing we talk about can get back to Katie. | 我们说什么都不能让凯蒂听到 |
| [08:52] | All right? You know my wife, you know my daughter. | 好吧 你认识我老婆 也认识我女儿 |
| [08:56] | Now it’s time for you to get to know me. | 现在该认识认识我了 |
| [08:58] | For instance, one of my hobbies is I like to take walks | 比如说吧 我其中一个爱好 |
| [09:02] | in the woods and bury things in holes. | 就是去林中散步 往洞里埋东西 |
| [09:06] | Sometimes I take one thing, | 有时候我会带一件东西 |
| [09:09] | cut it up, and bury it in different holes. | 切一切 然后埋到不同的洞里 |
| [09:13] | Depends on my mood. | 看心情决定 |
| [09:15] | He’s moody! | 他阴晴不定 |
| [09:22] | I guess what I really wanted you to know | 我真正想告诉你的话是 |
| [09:24] | is Katie is my little girl, so you date Katie, you date me. | 凯蒂是我宝贝女儿 你约她就是在约我 |
| [09:31] | You upset Katie, you upset me. | 你让她伤心 就是让我伤心 |
| [09:35] | Okay? Now a lot of parents these days are hands off, | 好吗 现在很多家长都不爱管事 |
| [09:37] | but me– I’m more hands on. | 可我呢 我喜欢管事 |
| [09:41] | You see what I’m saying? | 你明白我的意思吗 |
| [09:43] | He touches kids! | 他对小孩动手动脚 |
| [09:50] | I think that went pretty well with Royce this morning. | 我觉得今早跟罗伊斯谈得挺好的 |
| [09:52] | Yeah. | 对 |
| [09:54] | There was a few hiccups on your end, but… | 你那边有点小毛病 不过 |
| [09:57] | I think we guaranteed | 我想我们保证了 |
| [09:58] | that Royce will be a perfect gentleman on their date. | 罗伊斯在约会时绝对不敢动手动脚 |
| [10:06] | What’s wrong with her? | 她怎么了 |
| [10:07] | Royce cancelled their date. | 罗伊斯取消了约会 |
| [10:08] | What? | 什么 |
| [10:10] | Uh, did he happen to mention why? | 他有没有说为什么 |
| [10:12] | No. No, he just, he-he texted her | 没有 就只给她发了条短信 |
| [10:15] | and didn’t explain anything. | 什么都没解释 |
| [10:17] | Oh, that’s good. | 那就好 |
| [10:19] | I mean, the why isn’t really important. | 我是说 原因已经不重要了 |
| [10:21] | What’s important is that we establish who’s to blame, | 重点就是罪魁祸首已经很清楚 |
| [10:23] | and that is Royce. | 就是罗伊斯 |
| [10:26] | Well, I am gonna call Royce’s mom, | 我要给罗伊斯他妈妈打电话 |
| [10:27] | – and we are gonna get to the bottom of this. – What? No, no, no, no. | -这件事我一定要刨根问底 -什么 不要 |
| [10:30] | You don’t need to get to the bottom of it. | 这件事没必要刨根问底 |
| [10:33] | Let’s stay at the top. It’s nice at the top, huh? | 我们不挖地基 待在上面多好 |
| [10:36] | The penthouse of life– that’s where we live. | 就待在顶层公寓 我们就住这里 |
| [10:39] | – What? – Well, I’m just saying, you’re right. | -你说什么呢 -我就是想说 你说得对 |
| [10:43] | In fact, you’re always right. | 其实 你每次都说得很对 |
| [10:44] | From now on, we should do whatever you say. | 从今往后 一切都听你的 |
| [10:51] | What did you do? | 你干了什么好事 |
| [10:55] | Let me tell her, please. Let me be the one to tell her. | 我来告诉她 拜托 让我告诉她 |
| [11:04] | So you scared Royce into cancelling their date? | 你把罗伊斯吓得取消了约会吗 |
| [11:08] | I scared Royce. | 我吓了罗伊斯 |
| [11:10] | And he cancelled their date. | 而他取消了约会 |
| [11:11] | You can’t prove the connection. | 无法证明其中的因果关系 |
| [11:14] | Okay, well, good job, Adam, | 好吧 干得漂亮 亚当 |
| [11:15] | because your daughter is heartbroken. | 因为你女儿心都碎了 |
| [11:17] | You did the exact thing to her that you said Royce would do. | 你还说罗伊斯会让她伤心 你已经做到了 |
| [11:20] | Yeah, but she thinks he did it. | 对 可她觉得是他干的 |
| [11:22] | So I say now we do your thing and just stay out of it. | 所以现在应该按你的方法来 不要插手 |
| [11:26] | Okay? | 好吗 |
| [11:27] | I mean, we don’t want to Romeo and Juliet this sucker. | 这个混蛋根本不配演罗密欧与朱丽叶的戏码 |
| [11:31] | No, Adam, she blames herself. | 不 亚当 她现在自怨自艾 |
| [11:33] | She thinks there’s something wrong with her. | 她觉得是因为她哪里不好 |
| [11:35] | She doesn’t know that really | 可她不知道 |
| [11:36] | there’s just something very, very wrong with you. | 这一切都是因为她爸非常非常糟糕 |
| [11:40] | But I’m her hero. | 可我是她的英雄 |
| [11:41] | Maybe you should take the rap on this one. | 说不定这事应该怪你 |
| [11:43] | I’m going, I’m going. | 我错了 我这就去 |
| [11:50] | Hey, Katie. | 凯蒂 |
| [11:56] | Look, honey, I know you think this whole thing is your fault, | 亲爱的 我知道你觉得这件事都怪你 |
| [11:59] | but it isn’t. | 但其实不是 |
| [12:01] | The truth is… | 事实是… |
| [12:08] | The truth is, it’s my… feeling that it’s Royce’s fault. | 其实 是我… 觉得应该怪罗伊斯 |
| [12:12] | I mean, between saving whales, walking dogs, | 他又是拯救鲸鱼 又是遛狗 |
| [12:15] | he takes a selfie every four seconds– | 每四秒钟就要自拍一张 |
| [12:17] | he’s just too into himself. | 他太自恋了 |
| [12:20] | How do you know all that stuff about Royce? | 你怎么知道这么多罗伊斯的事 |
| [12:22] | Uh, that’s a good question. | 这真是个好问题 |
| [12:26] | I did not see that coming. | 没想到你会问这个… |
| [12:29] | What did you do? | 你干了什么好事 |
| [12:32] | You know, you are really starting to remind me of your mother. | 你知道吗 你现在越来越像你妈了 |
| [12:37] | How’d it go? | 进展如何 |
| [12:39] | Not good. | 很不好 |
| [12:40] | And now she knows it’s my fault. | 她现在知道这件事怪我了 |
| [12:42] | I blew it. You know, from now on, | 我搞砸了 从今往后 |
| [12:44] | you should just make all the decisions. | 我应该事事听你的 |
| [12:47] | Wait. | 等等 |
| [12:47] | Wait, wait, wait, wait. | 等下 等下 |
| [12:49] | – Say that into my phone. – Oh, come on. | -再说一次我录下来 -行了 |
| [12:51] | Come on. How are we gonna fix this? | 别闹 这件事该怎么解决 |
| [12:54] | Well… | 要我说… |
| [12:56] | it’s simple. | 很简单 |
| [12:58] | We are gonna make the decision, together… | 我们一起做决定 |
| [13:01] | to go down to the mall and… | 去那家商场… |
| [13:03] | beg a teenage boy to date our daughter. | 求一个小男孩跟咱闺女约会 |
| [13:06] | Fine, I’ll do it. | 好吧 我同意 |
| [13:07] | But I still think he’s a player. | 但我还是觉得他是花花公子 |
| [13:09] | He’s not a player. And I have news for you, | 他不是花花公子 对了我得告诉你 |
| [13:11] | you are not a player anymore, either– you are a dad. | 你也不是花花公子了 你都当爹了 |
| [13:15] | – You take that back! – Oh, come on. | -你收回这句话 -行了 |
| [13:18] | – Take it back. Take it back. – No. No. | -收回那句话 快收回 -不 我不要 |
| [13:21] | I’m a player. | 我还是花花公子 |
| [13:22] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [13:25] | What’s in here? | 这里面有什么 |
| [13:27] | Okay, this is Marcy’s favorite room. | 这里是玛茜最喜欢的房间 |
| [13:28] | I’m only allowed in here on special occasions, | 只有特殊场合才让我进来 |
| [13:30] | or after a bath. | 或者我洗完澡后 |
| [13:32] | But these are her most precious things. | 可这里有她最宝贝的东西 |
| [13:33] | If I’m gonna help you find the perfect gift, | 我要是想帮你找到最完美的礼物 |
| [13:35] | I need to understand what makes Marcy tick. | 我就得明白玛茜的兴奋点在哪里 |
| [13:37] | Oh, well, that’s easy– it’s Chardonnay and revenge. | 这个简单 她兴奋点是霞多丽葡萄酒和复仇 |
| [13:41] | Oh, I love those plates. | 我好喜欢这些盘子 |
| [13:42] | Whoa, whoa, we shouldn’t be on the carpet. | 等下 不应该上地毯的 |
| [13:43] | We have to leave this place exactly as it was. | 所有事物都必须保持原状 |
| [13:45] | Marcy will see those footprints. | 玛茜能看到这些脚印 |
| [13:49] | I came up with this technique | 我为了吃这里的M&M巧克力豆 |
| [13:50] | to get to the M&M’s she keeps in here. | 就想出了这个办法 |
| [13:53] | Careful. | 小心点 |
| [13:54] | Careful. No touching, no touching. | 小心 别乱动 不要乱摸 |
| [13:55] | Hey, I recognize these. | 我认识这些 |
| [13:57] | These are Criscioni commemorative plates. | 这些是山水纪念碟 |
| [13:59] | There’s one for each month, and she’s missing December. | 每个月都有一个 她没有买到12月的 |
| [14:02] | She’ll love it! | 她一定会喜欢 |
| [14:03] | And I only have to buy one plate. | 而且只需要买一个盘子 |
| [14:05] | So I’ll have enough for a dirt bike. | 剩下的钱可以买越野摩托车 |
| [14:09] | Okay, okay, she’ll know | 这样不行 如果摆不好 |
| [14:10] | if it’s a little off. | 她会发现的 |
| [14:32] | Hey, sport. | 帅哥 |
| [14:34] | I’m friends with the mall cop. | 我跟商场警卫很熟 |
| [14:35] | Come on. Relax, Royce. | 行了 别害怕 罗伊斯 |
| [14:38] | What I said this morning was wrong. | 我今天早上不应该那样说话 |
| [14:41] | I should have just stayed out of it. | 我不应该插手的 |
| [14:43] | And I probably would have | 其实我本来也没想插手 |
| [14:44] | if you didn’t have such ridiculous hair. | 可你看看你那一头杂毛 |
| [14:46] | – Do you even have a mirror at home? – Oh, Adam. | -你家里是没有镜子吗 -亚当 |
| [14:47] | – What? What? – Adam… | -怎么了 -亚当… |
| [14:48] | Stay focused. | 别跑题 |
| [14:50] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [14:55] | Bottom line, Katie likes you and you like her, so… | 总而言之 凯蒂喜欢你 你也喜欢她 所以 |
| [15:01] | please take her out. | 请你跟她约会吧 |
| [15:03] | But you threatened to bury me in the woods. | 可是你威胁说要把我埋在树林里 |
| [15:06] | You did what? | 你说了什么 |
| [15:07] | He’s paraphrasing. | 他这是断章取义 |
| [15:10] | That’s why I cancelled. | 这就是我为什么取消了约会 |
| [15:11] | I would never come between a father and a daughter. | 我绝不参与父女之间的事 |
| [15:13] | Oh, God, this kid is great. | 我的天 这孩子真棒 |
| [15:16] | Are you buying this crap? He’s playing you. | 你相信他这套 他在耍你呢 |
| [15:18] | – Stop playing us. – Adam! | -别再耍我们了 -亚当 |
| [15:19] | No. | 不 |
| [15:20] | No. No. I know who you are. | 不不 我知道你的情况 |
| [15:21] | Okay? I was a player, too. And still am. | 我也曾是个花花公子 现在也是 |
| [15:26] | – Okay? – Okay. | -知道吗 -知道 |
| [15:28] | But I’ve been outvoted. | 但我落选了 |
| [15:29] | So here’s what’s gonna happen. | 所以你最好按我说的做 |
| [15:30] | You are gonna date my daughter, whether you like it or not. | 你得和我女儿约会 不管你想不想 |
| [15:33] | ‘Cause I know where you live, I know where you work, | 我可知道你的住址 知道你在哪上班 |
| [15:35] | – I will dig a deep hole, and I’ll…- Okay, okay, | -我会挖一个深坑 然后 -好了 |
| [15:37] | okay, that’s it, that’s enough, that’s enough. | 好了 够了 够了 |
| [15:39] | Now… | 好了 |
| [15:41] | Okay, what… | 是这样的 |
| [15:42] | Adam is trying to say is… | 亚当的意思是 |
| [15:44] | we’re just… we’re really impressed | 我们只是非常欣赏你的 |
| [15:46] | by how mature and-and caring you are. | 成熟和体贴 |
| [15:49] | Wrong. | 非也 |
| [15:51] | We just think you’re an incredibly nice kid. | 我们觉得你是个非常出色的孩子 |
| [15:54] | Doubt it. | 才怪 |
| [15:56] | And we would be thrilled if you dated Katie. | 你要能和凯蒂约会 我们会很高兴 |
| [15:59] | Adam! | 亚当 |
| [16:01] | I’m gonna make you wait in the car. | 我要让你去车里等我了 |
| [16:05] | So just, don’t let us spoil this for you. | 别让我们坏你的大事 |
| [16:09] | You know? So… what do you say? | 所以 你觉得呢 |
| [16:13] | Okay, we’ll go on the date. | 好的 我们会去约会的 |
| [16:14] | Oh, great! | 太好了 |
| [16:16] | Surprise! Hi. I’m Daphne. | 惊喜 你们好 我是达芙妮 |
| [16:18] | Royce’s girlfriend. | 罗伊斯的女友 |
| [16:19] | You must be his grandparents. | 你们是他爷爷和奶奶吧 |
| [16:21] | I’ve heard a lot about you. | 我听说了很多你们的事 |
| [16:25] | Excuse me? | 你说什么 |
| [16:27] | I said, I’ve heard a lot about you. | 我说 我听说了很多你们的事 |
| [16:32] | How dare you try to date our daughter | 你都有女朋友了 怎么还敢 |
| [16:33] | when you have a girlfriend! | 和我们家女儿约会 |
| [16:35] | Wait, you asked another girl out? | 慢着 你约了别的女孩出去 |
| [16:38] | I’m out of here. | 我走了 |
| [16:45] | Listen to me, you… | 听我说 你这个… |
| [16:47] | poofy-haired little rat. | 蓬头的卑鄙小人 |
| [16:49] | Get him, babe. | 好好教训他 |
| [16:52] | I know where you live, and I know where you work, | 我知道你的住址 知道你在哪上班 |
| [16:55] | and if you ever come near our daughter again, | 如果你再敢接近我们家女儿 |
| [16:58] | I will come to the end of your rainbow | 我会跨过你的彩虹桥 |
| [17:00] | and I will kick you right in the tots. | 拆了你家吱悠悠转的大风车 |
| [17:04] | A little free advice: | 送你条小建议 |
| [17:05] | never be afraid of the crazy one, | 疯子并不可怕 |
| [17:07] | be afraid of the one the crazy one’s afraid of. | 连疯子都怕的人才可怕 |
| [17:24] | You know what? | 你猜怎么 |
| [17:27] | That was fun. | 刚刚挺好玩的 |
| [17:28] | Yeah. | 没错 |
| [17:29] | I like doing stuff with you. | 我喜欢和你一起合作 |
| [17:30] | Me, too. | 我也是 |
| [17:32] | You’re a way better goon than Don. | 你比老唐战斗力强多了 |
| [17:37] | And, uh… | 而且 |
| [17:39] | I have to admit, | 我必须承认 |
| [17:41] | you were right about Royce. | 你对罗伊斯的看法是对的 |
| [17:42] | Oh, wait, wait, say that into my phone. Wait. | 等一下 我给你录下来 等下 |
| [17:47] | You’re guys not going to believe it. | 你们绝对无法相信 |
| [17:49] | Royce was dating some girl from another school, | 罗伊斯在和别的学校的女生约会 |
| [17:51] | and now she’s blasting him all over Instagram. | 现在她在社交网络上到处黑他 |
| [17:53] | It’s epic. | 很是壮观 |
| [17:54] | Yeah, we did that. | 是的 我们的功劳 |
| [17:57] | – What? – Yeah, yeah, we went down to the mall | -什么 -没错 我们去商场 |
| [17:58] | to talk to Royce about your date. | 和罗伊斯谈和你约会的事 |
| [18:00] | Yeah, and that’s when we met Daphne. | 对 我们在那见到了达芙妮 |
| [18:02] | Oh, my God! | 我的天呐 |
| [18:03] | I can’t believe you guys would do that. | 我不敢相信你们会这么做 |
| [18:05] | That’s-that’s my personal life. | 那是我私人的事 |
| [18:06] | Oh, Katie, you’re right, | 凯蒂 你说的对 |
| [18:07] | we didn’t respect your boundaries. | 我们没有尊重你的隐私 |
| [18:09] | And we never will. | 我们以后也不会 |
| [18:13] | Yeah, it turns out that the lesson from Romeo and Juliet is that | 我总结罗密欧与茱丽叶的故事告诉我们 |
| [18:15] | the parents just weren’t strict enough. | 家长管的还是不够严 |
| [18:18] | This is the worst apology ever. | 这是我听过最糟的道歉了 |
| [18:20] | Oh, no, no, it’s not an apology. | 不不 这不是道歉 |
| [18:21] | No, no, it’s a warning to any future boy | 不是 这是给未来想约你的 |
| [18:23] | that tries to date you. | 男生一个警告 |
| [18:26] | We’re gonna cyber-stalk them, and interrogate them. | 我们会网络人肉他们 然后审问他们 |
| [18:28] | Yeah, and let them know that, if they date you, | 让他们知道 如果要约你 |
| [18:30] | we’ll be watching. | 我们必把关 |
| [18:32] | But if you do that, no one will ever want to. | 如果你们那样做 就没人想约我了 |
| [18:34] | Then we’ll have done our job. | 那我们的目的就达到了 |
| [18:49] | You know, s-she’ll make us pay for this when we’re old. | 等我们老了 她一定会报复我们的 |
| [18:51] | Yeah. | 是的 |
| [18:53] | When the time comes, | 等到那时候 |
| [18:54] | that one is gonna be quick to pull the plug. | 这姑娘拔我们的氧气瓶时 绝不手软 |
| [19:04] | I can’t believe Marcy got you a dirt bike for your anniversary. | 想不到玛茜给你买了越野摩托做周年礼物 |
| [19:07] | And that she can bring it in here, | 而且她可以把它拿进来 |
| [19:09] | but I had to leave my beer in the hall. | 而我只能把啤酒留在厅里 |
| [19:11] | It was the perfect place to hide it last night | 昨晚把它藏在这里是绝佳的选择 |
| [19:13] | because I knew Don wouldn’t dare come in this room. | 因为我知道唐不敢进这屋来 |
| [19:17] | If you got Marcy another fast food gift card, | 如果你送玛茜的是快餐礼品卡 |
| [19:18] | I suggest you ride off on this thing right now. | 我建议你骑上它赶紧走 |
| [19:21] | Oh, no, no, I love my girl. | 不是的 我爱我妻子 |
| [19:23] | In fact,I got her something very special. | 事实上 我给她准备了很特别的礼物 |
| [19:26] | Here you go, baby. | 给你 亲爱的 |
| [19:28] | Hey, I thought you broke those. | 我以为你把这些都打碎了 |
| [19:30] | I had to buy a whole new set. Cost a fortune. | 我不得不新买了一整套 老贵了 |
| [19:33] | You got me my missing plate! | 你买到了我缺的盘子 |
| [19:35] | Honey, I never knew you even noticed my Criscionis. | 我不知道你有注意过我的”山水碟” |
| [19:39] | Oh, baby, I love your crispy ponies. | 宝贝 我超喜欢你的”闪碎碟” |
| [19:43] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [19:45] | Now my collection is complete. | 现在我的收藏完整了 |
| [19:49] | Okay, I can’t wait anymore, | 好了 我等不及了 |
| [19:50] | I got to take this girl for a spin. | 我要骑上她去兜风了 |
| [19:53] | No! | 不 |
| [20:00] | So does this mean I can bring my beer in here now? | 我是不是可以把啤酒拿进来了 |