| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | I cannot believe the kids are still asleep on a Sunday. | 周日早上孩子们居然还在睡 |
| [00:05] | I know, this is nice. | 我知道 感觉真好 |
| [00:07] | Just the two of us. | 只有我俩 |
| [00:09] | It’s romantic, even. | 可以说是浪漫 |
| [00:13] | What’s that? | 那是什么 |
| [00:16] | My hand– too early? | 是我的手 太早了吗 |
| [00:18] | No, no, that’s your parents’ RV. | 不 那是你父母的房车 |
| [00:20] | What? | 什么 |
| [00:21] | I thought they were driving around the country, | 我以为他们在周游全国 |
| [00:23] | going 40 in the fast lane | 在快车道开着40码的速度 |
| [00:24] | and wearing giant sunglasses over their regular glasses. | 在普通眼镜上戴着巨大的太阳镜 |
| [00:28] | Well, my mom called me from Santa Fe last week. | 我妈上周从圣达菲打电话给我 |
| [00:30] | All she talked about was buying salsa from a nice Mexican lady. | 她只说从和气的墨西哥女士手中买辣酱 |
| [00:34] | Why do they always have to mention the ethnicity | 他们为什么总是说事的时候 |
| [00:36] | of the people in their stories? | 要提及别人的种族 |
| [00:37] | Because they’re old white people. | 因为他们是老年白人 |
| [00:40] | That’s what they do. | 他们就是这样 |
| [00:43] | Oh, man, that’s what I just did. | 我刚才做了一样的事 |
| [00:46] | Oh, wait. Whoa, whoa, where are you going? | 等等 你去哪 |
| [00:47] | – To welcome them. – Oh, oh, wait. | -欢迎他们 -等等 |
| [00:50] | Before you go out there, I should probably mention | 你出去前 我要跟你说 |
| [00:52] | that I never told them about you going back to work | 我没告诉他们你回去上班了 |
| [00:54] | and me watching the kids. | 我在照看孩子 |
| [00:56] | What? Well, why not? | 什么 为什么没说 |
| [00:57] | I knew if I told them, I would never hear the end of it. | 如果我说了 他们就会唠叨个没完 |
| [00:59] | Plus, I thought maybe by the time they got back, | 而且 我想也许他们回来时 |
| [01:02] | this whole thing with you going back to work | 你回去上班的事 |
| [01:03] | would’ve blown over. | 可能就平息了 |
| [01:05] | My dreams and aspirations | 我的梦想和志向 |
| [01:06] | would’ve just blown over? | 就这么平息了 |
| [01:08] | Yeah, things blow over. | 对 事情会平息 |
| [01:11] | Like the way you’re feeling right now. | 就像你现在的感觉 |
| [01:13] | Blow it over! | 平息了 |
| [01:14] | – Oh, there they are! – Mom, Dad, | -他们在啊 -妈 爸 |
| [01:17] | – what a surprise. – Hi, Joe. | -真是意外 -乔 |
| [01:20] | Good to see you. | 真高兴见到你 |
| [01:23] | Look at you. | 看你 |
| [01:24] | Hi, Bev. | 贝弗 |
| [01:26] | Oh, come on. You don’t kiss an Italian mama on the cheek. | 得了 吻意大利婆婆的脸颊怎么行 |
| [01:29] | – The lips– we want the lips. – Oh, okay. | -要亲嘴 亲嘴才热情 -好的 |
| [01:32] | Ah, look at your wife. | 看你的老婆 |
| [01:34] | She gets prettier every day, like that actress. | 一天比一天漂亮 就像那个女演员 |
| [01:36] | Bev, what’s her name? From the movies. | 贝弗 她叫什么来着 电影里的 |
| [01:38] | – Catherine Zeta Jones. – No, the one with teeth. | -凯瑟琳·泽塔·琼斯 -不 有牙齿的那个 |
| [01:41] | They all have teeth. | 她们都有牙齿 |
| [01:42] | Uh, Julia Roberts! | 茱莉娅·罗伯茨 |
| [01:44] | You look just like Julia Roberts. | 你真像茱莉娅·罗伯茨 |
| [01:45] | Oh, come on. | 哪有 |
| [01:48] | You know, maybe a little. | 也许有一点 |
| [01:51] | And you. | 瞧你 |
| [01:52] | Well, you’re doing the best you can. | 已经尽力保持了 |
| [01:55] | But you really punched above your weight with this one. | 但你有她真是赚到了 |
| [01:58] | So, uh, what are you guys doing back in Pittsburgh? | 你们回匹兹堡做什么 |
| [02:00] | It’s just a pit stop on our way | 旅途暂停下 |
| [02:02] | to see the world’s largest Hershey bar. | 然后去看全世界最大的巧克力块 |
| [02:04] | It’s as big as a table. | 有桌子那么大 |
| [02:06] | – A small table. – Yeah. | -小桌子 -对 |
| [02:08] | Or a large book, but we still want to see it for some reason. | 或是一本大书 但出于某种原因还是要去看 |
| [02:11] | Oh, and Dad’s back needed a rest. | 爸爸的背需要休息下 |
| [02:14] | – Those roads are full of potholes. – Yeah. | -路上全是坑 -对 |
| [02:16] | Thanks, Obama. | 谢你全家 奥巴马 |
| [02:19] | Oh, by the way, your mailbox jumped out in front of me | 对了 我们进来时 你家邮箱 |
| [02:21] | on the way in. It didn’t make it. | 跳到车前 未能生还 |
| [02:28] | Did you bring us any presents? | 你们给我们带了礼物吗 |
| [02:29] | Of course we did. You got the bag, Bev. | 当然带了 包在你这里 贝弗 |
| [02:32] | Ooh, let’s see. | 我们来看看 |
| [02:34] | For Teddy, take a look at this. | 给泰迪 看看 |
| [02:38] | Oh, I had one of those, Teddy. | 我也有这个 泰迪 |
| [02:39] | It’s a switchblade comb. | 是弹簧刀一样的梳子 |
| [02:43] | Or just a switchblade. | 或者只是弹簧刀 |
| [02:46] | Wow! Thanks! | 谢谢 |
| [02:48] | Thanks! | 谢谢 |
| [02:50] | Yeah, a knife for my son | 送刀给我儿子 |
| [02:51] | who cut himself on a Hula-Hoop. | 他玩呼啦圈都会割伤自己 |
| [02:54] | And, Kate, how about | 凯特 来点 |
| [02:56] | some genuine Kentucky fireworks? | 正宗肯州烟火怎么样 |
| [03:01] | Whoa, these are bottle rockets! | 这是火箭筒 |
| [03:04] | It’s about to get real, Teddy. | 要来真格的了 泰迪 |
| [03:06] | We haven’t forgotten about you, Peanut. | 我们没忘记你 小花生 |
| [03:08] | Oh! Bring him out, Bev. | 把他拿出来 贝弗 |
| [03:10] | Him? | 他 |
| [03:13] | A turtle. | 一只乌龟 |
| [03:14] | Yeah, that’s an endangered tortoise | 这是我们在路边捡到的 |
| [03:16] | we found on the side of the road. | 濒临灭绝的乌龟 |
| [03:18] | It was hard to get that little electronic tag off it, | 电子追踪标签不容易弄下来 |
| [03:21] | but luckily, we had Teddy’s switchblade. | 好在有泰迪的弹簧刀 |
| [03:25] | Okay, why don’t you guys run upstairs, | 你们上楼去 |
| [03:27] | and Mommy and I will | 妈妈和我 |
| [03:27] | donate these to needy criminal children. | 会把这些捐给贫困的罪犯孩子 |
| [03:30] | Your parents are a couple of squares! | 你们爸妈真是老古板 |
| [03:35] | Mom! Dad! | 妈 爸 |
| [03:36] | Oh, who is this handsome guy? | 这个帅哥是谁 |
| [03:39] | Is it Tom Selleck or my son? | 是汤姆·谢立克还是我的儿子 |
| [03:41] | It’s me! It’s Don! | 是我 我是唐 |
| [03:44] | Tom Selleck? | 汤姆·谢立克 |
| [03:46] | I’ve eaten Cheetos that look more like Tom Selleck. | 我吃芝士条的样子都更像汤姆·谢立克 |
| [03:48] | They think I look like Julia Roberts. | 他们觉得我像茱莉娅·罗伯茨 |
| [03:51] | Joe, Bev, so great that you’re back! | 乔 贝弗 你们回来了真好 |
| [03:54] | Oh, well, don’t worry. | 别担心 |
| [03:55] | We won’t be expecting to stay at your house. | 我们不会指望住你家 |
| [03:57] | We know you like your privacy. | 我知道你注意隐私 |
| [03:59] | Oh, Bev, that was almost 20 years ago. | 贝弗 那是20年前的事了 |
| [04:01] | Was it? Wow. | 是吗 |
| [04:02] | Seems like yesterday. | 好像昨天发生的一样 |
| [04:04] | Joe, do you remember when Marcy put us up in a hotel | 乔 你还记得玛茜让我们住酒店 |
| [04:07] | instead of letting us stay with them? | 不住他们家吗 |
| [04:09] | – Like it was yesterday. – See? | -像昨天的事 -瞧 |
| [04:12] | So how’s the road trip going? | 公路旅行怎么样 |
| [04:13] | Have a seat. | 坐 |
| [04:14] | Culturally speaking, it’s been quite an education. | 从文化角度讲 很有教育意义 |
| [04:18] | We have seen some things. | 我们长了不少见识 |
| [04:20] | We stopped at a gas station in Arizona. | 我们路经亚利桑那州的加油站 |
| [04:23] | They got five different flavors of jerky. | 他们有五种不同口味的牛肉干 |
| [04:25] | – You just don’t see that on the East Coast. – No. | -在东海岸可见不到 -对 |
| [04:28] | They even had teriyaki. | 他们还有照烧酱口味 |
| [04:29] | Very exotic. | 真有异国风情 |
| [04:31] | You know, all jerky’s made in China now, right? | 知道吗 现在的牛肉干都是中国制造了 |
| [04:35] | Uh, no, I wasn’t aware of that. | 不 我不知道 |
| [04:37] | Yeah, they’re just rubbing it in our faces | 他们用照烧酱把我们的脸 |
| [04:39] | with this teriyaki stuff. | 打得啪啪的 |
| [04:42] | So, what’s new around here? | 这里有什么新闻 |
| [04:44] | Oh, well, um, Adam’s got some | 亚当有些 |
| [04:46] | fun news to tell you about, right, honey? | 有趣的事要说 对吗 亲爱的 |
| [04:48] | – No, I don’t. – Yes, you do. | -没 -有 |
| [04:49] | – Yes, you do. – No, I don’t. | -有 -没 |
| [04:49] | – No, I don’t. No, I don’t. – Yes, you do. | -没 -有 |
| [04:51] | – I will keep going. – Oh. Fine. | -我能陪你玩一辈子 -好 |
| [04:54] | Uh, yeah, uh, Andi has gone back to work at the lab, | 安迪回实验室上班了 |
| [04:57] | so I’m taking care of the kids after school and stuff. | 所以孩子们放学后是我在照顾 |
| [05:00] | You’re taking care of the kids? | 你照顾孩子们 |
| [05:02] | Like a nanny? | 像保姆一样吗 |
| [05:04] | No, like a father. | 不 像父亲一样 |
| [05:06] | If the father’s a nanny. | 如果父亲是保姆的话 |
| [05:09] | You got the looks and the funny. | 你真是又帅又幽默 |
| [05:12] | Well, why shouldn’t | 凭什么不能 |
| [05:13] | the man watch the kids and the woman work? | 男人看孩子 女人上班 |
| [05:16] | I mean, I’m a woman, and I’m many things. | 我是女人 同时也兼顾很多 |
| [05:18] | A wife, a mother, a tender lover. | 妻子 母亲 温柔的爱人 |
| [05:21] | No. No. No, no. No. | 别说别说 |
| [05:23] | I think what you two are doing is very modern. | 我觉得你们这样做是与时俱进 |
| [05:27] | Andi, I’m proud of you. | 安迪 我为你骄傲 |
| [05:29] | Oh. Thanks, Bev. | 谢谢你 贝弗 |
| [05:30] | You’re like a daughter to me. | 你就像我的女儿一样 |
| [05:32] | My one daughter. | 我唯一的女儿 |
| [05:35] | Come on, Bev. You’ve got two daughters. | 好了 贝弗 你有两个女儿 |
| [05:37] | Thank you, Joe. | 多谢了 乔 |
| [05:38] | I meant Adam now that he’s watching the kids. | 我是说现在照看的孩子亚当也算一个 |
| [05:42] | You see what happens when I tell him stuff, huh?! | 看我告诉他事情的下场 |
| [05:44] | Okay, honey, relax, okay? | 亲爱的 放轻松 |
| [05:48] | I mean, in a few days, they’ll be off to see the world’s | 过几天 他们就会去看世界上 |
| [05:50] | slightly-larger-than-average chocolate bar. | 比普通巧克力块稍微大点的巧克力 |
| [05:53] | Uh, we were talking. We’re thinking we might | 我们聊了一下 我们考虑也许应该 |
| [05:55] | stop our road trip. | 终止公路旅行 |
| [06:00] | To stay and help with the kids. | 留下来帮你们看孩子 |
| [06:01] | Yeah. We just want you to have your dignity back. | 对 我们希望你找回尊严 |
| [06:06] | But you guys sold your house. | 但你们把房子卖了 |
| [06:07] | You don’t have any place to live. | 你们没地方住 |
| [06:08] | We’ve got the RV. | 我们有房车 |
| [06:10] | We can live right in your driveway! | 我们可以住你家车道 |
| [06:13] | Our driveway! | 我家车道 |
| [06:16] | Andi, they want to live in our driveway. | 安迪 他们想住我们家车道 |
| [06:20] | I heard them. | 我听到了 |
| [06:21] | Yeah, we just have to work out a few kinks | 我们必须解决粪池泄漏的一些问题 |
| [06:22] | with the septic runoff, and we’ll be good to go. | 就万事大吉了 |
| [06:41] | Oh, Ma, this cannoli’s great. | 妈 奶油卷真好吃 |
| [06:42] | You keep feeding me like this, I’m gonna get fat. | 你继续这样喂我 我会长肥的 |
| [06:44] | Oh, not you. You’re skin and bone. | 不会 你骨瘦如柴 |
| [06:49] | Oh. You’re a good mother. | 你真是好妈妈 |
| [06:50] | Now, what’s different? | 有什么不同 |
| [06:52] | I had to use different lard. | 我得用不同的猪油 |
| [06:55] | The company I liked went out of business. | 我喜欢的牌子倒闭了 |
| [06:57] | Thanks, Obama. | 谢你全家 奥巴马 |
| [07:00] | Dad, he’s not even president anymore. | 爸 他现在都不是总统了 |
| [07:02] | He knows what he did. | 他知道自己干了什么好事 |
| [07:06] | So, | 话说 |
| [07:06] | have you two thought about our offer? | 你们考虑我们的提议了吗 |
| [07:11] | Oh, you know what? | 是这样 |
| [07:13] | We don’t want to take advantage of you. | 我们不想占用你们的生活 |
| [07:15] | I mean, what about the rest of your trip? | 你们剩下的旅行怎么办 |
| [07:16] | Seeing the country after Joe retired was your dream. | 在乔退休后走遍全国是你们的梦想 |
| [07:19] | Five months in that box on wheels is plenty. | 在行走的大箱子里五个月已经够多了 |
| [07:22] | The shower is so small, | 浴室太小了 |
| [07:24] | you can’t even wash both sides of you. | 你都没法洗到你的正反面 |
| [07:26] | You got to pick one– the front or the back. | 你只能选一面洗 前面还是后面 |
| [07:29] | It’s a real Sophie’s Choice. | 堪比《苏菲的抉择》 |
| [07:32] | Yeah, but you guys got better things | 没错 但你们在这边 |
| [07:33] | to do than hang around here. | 也有更有趣的事可做 |
| [07:35] | You should be out with your friends, | 你们应该和朋友们聚聚 |
| [07:36] | talking about the good old days | 追忆下美好的往昔 |
| [07:38] | before the wheel was invented. | 还没发明汽车的时代 |
| [07:41] | Hmm. Our friends are either dead, | 我们的朋友要么是死了 |
| [07:42] | or living in one of those old folks homes. | 要么就住在那些养老院里 |
| [07:44] | We visited a few on our swing through Florida. | 我们路过佛罗里达时去了几家 |
| [07:46] | Yeah, it’s where you go to die. | 是的 那是去死的好地方 |
| [07:50] | One place we went– they sold caskets right in the lobby. | 其中有一家 他们在大厅出售棺材 |
| [07:54] | Honey, I think those were planters. | 亲爱的 我觉得那些种花的 |
| [07:55] | People planters! | 是种人的吧 |
| [07:58] | I liked that place. | 我喜欢那地方 |
| [07:59] | One night in the dining hall, | 有一天晚上在餐厅 |
| [08:01] | I watched this Cuban man eat a baked potato. | 我观察了一个古巴男人吃烤土豆 |
| [08:05] | It was just fascinating. | 太吸引人了 |
| [08:07] | Ma, why do you have to say the guy was Cuban? | 妈 你为什么要强调他是古巴人 |
| [08:11] | He was Cuban. It makes a good story. | 他是古巴的 这会让故事丰满 |
| [08:13] | I mean, if I just say a man’s eating a potato, | 假如我就说是一个男人吃土豆 |
| [08:16] | I got nothing, snoozefest. | 就没意思了 无聊透顶 |
| [08:19] | So what do you say? | 所以你觉得呢 |
| [08:20] | Are we living in your driveway or not? | 我们要不要住你家行车道 |
| [08:31] | Yes, great. Please stay. | 很好 留下来吧 |
| [08:33] | Oh, great! Hooray. | 太好了 真棒 |
| [08:34] | – Oh, it’s gonna be wonderful! – Oh, yes. | -肯定会非常好的 -没错 |
| [08:37] | Adam and I are gonna be talking about how wonderful this is | 我和亚当今晚会讨论这么做的好处 |
| [08:40] | long, long into the night. | 直到非常非常晚 |
| [08:43] | “Yes, great. Please stay”” | “很好 留下来吧” |
| [08:47] | What was I supposed to say, honey? They’re my parents. | 那我该怎么说 亲 他们是我父母 |
| [08:50] | And, you know, this could actually be really great timing. | 知道吗 这是个很好的时机 |
| [08:52] | Don and I have that mini mall job. | 我和老唐在商场工作了 |
| [08:54] | We’re a lot busier. I could use the help. | 比从前忙很多 他们可以帮到我 |
| [08:57] | Honey, you know I love your parents, | 亲爱的 你知道我爱你的父母 |
| [08:58] | but they’re just not the moral compass I want for our kids. | 但他们没法给孩子们树立好榜样 |
| [09:02] | I mean, those cannolis were not Obama’s fault. | 那些奶油卷不是奥巴马的错 |
| [09:07] | Well, that stuff goes right over the kids’ heads. | 这种事孩子们也听不进去 |
| [09:09] | Okay, can we at least give it a trial run? | 我们能不能至少试运行一下 |
| [09:11] | How bad could it be? | 结果能有多坏 |
| [09:13] | Well, I think the Titanic was a trial run. | 我觉得泰坦尼克号也是试运行 |
| [09:16] | Come on. They know how to raise kids. | 拜托 他们知道怎么养孩子 |
| [09:18] | They raised me, and I’m fantastic. | 他们养了我 我多棒啊 |
| [09:22] | Well, you’re humble. I’ll give you that. | 你很谦虚 这点毋庸置疑 |
| [09:24] | Look, I will talk to them, | 好吧 我会和他们谈 |
| [09:25] | and make sure they do everything the way I do. | 让他们按我的方式来 |
| [09:28] | Oh, the way we do. The way you do. | 我们的方式 你的方式来 |
| [09:31] | All right, fine. I’ll give you your trial run. | 好吧 我允许你试运行 |
| [09:35] | It’s what Julia Roberts would do. | 朱莉亚·罗伯茨也会这么做 |
| [09:41] | All right! | 好了 |
| [09:42] | – Bye, Grandma. – Oh, I love you so much. | -再见 奶奶 -太爱你了 |
| [09:44] | All right, bye. | 好了 拜 |
| [09:45] | – Bye-bye. – Okay, listen. | -拜拜 -听我说 |
| [09:47] | Meet the kids here at 3:00 sharp, | 3点整在这里接孩子 |
| [09:49] | and give ’em a snack, or they turn into maniacs. | 给他们零食 否则他们会发疯 |
| [09:51] | But not candy, or they turn into maniacs. | 但不能是糖 否则他们会发疯 |
| [09:53] | And make ’em start on their homework right away, | 然后让他们立即做作业 |
| [09:55] | or they’ll just run around like maniacs. | 否则他们会想发疯了一样乱跑 |
| [09:58] | Basically, they’re maniacs. | 基本上 他们就是疯子 |
| [10:00] | And I can’t believe I have to say this, | 我不得不多说一句 |
| [10:02] | but no weapons and no explosives. | 别给他们武器 还有爆竹 |
| [10:05] | Relax. We raised you, and you turned out fantastic. | 放轻松 我们养了你 你现在多棒啊 |
| [10:09] | That’s what I said! | 我也是这么说的 |
| [10:11] | All right, keep it moving, Burns. Let’s go. | 别站这了 伯恩斯 快走吧 |
| [10:13] | Oh. Who are these youngsters? | 这两位”年轻人”是谁 |
| [10:15] | Oh, uh, my parents, Bev and Joe. | 我父母 贝弗和乔 |
| [10:16] | Mom, Dad, this is, uh, Emme’s teacher, Mrs. Rodriguez. | 爸爸妈妈 这位是艾米的老师 罗德里格兹 |
| [10:20] | Ooh, Rodriguez! | 罗德里格兹［西班牙口音］ |
| [10:22] | Mom. | 妈 |
| [10:23] | Are you from Mexico? | 你来自墨西哥吗 |
| [10:25] | Actually, I’m from Philadelphia. | 实际上 我来自费城 |
| [10:26] | Oh, fascinating. Now, do you eat baked potatoes? | 有趣 你爱吃烤土豆吗 |
| [10:29] | Okay, okay! Okay, Emme, why don’t you show | 好了 艾米 你带爷爷奶奶 |
| [10:31] | Grandma and Grandpa your classroom, hmm? | 去看看你的教室吧 |
| [10:33] | Aw, yeah. He’s gonna apologize for us now. | 好啊 他马上会给我们道歉的 |
| [10:36] | He’s gotten real uptight. | 他就是太紧绷了 |
| [10:38] | Must be all that cooking and cleaning. | 一定是经常洗衣服做饭弄的 |
| [10:40] | A lot of housewives get like that. | 很多家庭主妇都这样 |
| [10:44] | Sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [10:45] | For what? I’m Latina, and they were being nice. | 为什么 我是拉丁人 他们也很友好 |
| [10:48] | You’ve never once asked me where I’m from. | 你从来也没问过我是哪里人 |
| [10:50] | Yes, but, to be fair, I don’t care. | 是的 但坦白讲 我不关心 |
| [10:53] | – It’s all coming out now, isn’t it, Burns? – That’s right. | -心里话都说了吧 伯恩斯 -没错 |
| [10:56] | Three more months of school | 再上三个月的学 |
| [10:57] | and we never have to see each other again. | 我们就用不着再见到对方了 |
| [10:58] | More importantly, I never have to see you again. | 更重要的是 我再也不用见到你了 |
| [11:01] | Believe it or not, I’m gonna miss you. | 信不信由你 我会想你的 |
| [11:03] | I don’t get a lot of wins. But with you, I always win. | 我很少当赢家 但对付你 我总能赢 |
| [11:07] | What a fun classroom. | 多有趣的教室啊 |
| [11:09] | Like a fiesta, right? | 就像狂欢节[西语] |
| [11:11] | That’s mostly your son’s doing. | 大部分是您儿子的功劳 |
| [11:13] | He’s room mom this year. | 他是今年的家长代表 |
| [11:15] | Oh, for the love of God. | 我的老天爷啊 |
| [11:20] | All right, let’s go. | 好了 我们走吧 |
| [11:22] | Adios! | 再见[西语] |
| [11:23] | Ma! | 妈 |
| [11:28] | Hey, cuties, we’re home. | 宝贝们 我们回来了 |
| [11:32] | What are you watching? | 你们在看什么 |
| [11:33] | Extreme Autopsy. | 《极端尸检》 |
| [11:36] | They chop up dead bodies. | 他们把尸体剁碎 |
| [11:37] | Grandpa Joe found it. | 爷爷找到的 |
| [11:40] | Here we go, he’s getting the bone saw. | 来了 他要锯骨头了 |
| [11:43] | He won’t need it. That body was in the lake for weeks. | 没必要 尸体已经在湖里泡几周了 |
| [11:44] | No, no, no, no, no, no! | 不不不不 |
| [11:50] | Is your homework done? | 你们作业写完了吗 |
| [11:51] | Grandma said we were too cute to do homework. | 奶奶说 我们这么可爱不用做作业 |
| [11:55] | And is that candy? | 这是糖吗 |
| [11:56] | We’re having candy dinner. | 我们在吃糖果晚餐 |
| [11:59] | Why don’t you ever give us candy dinner? | 你们怎么从不给我们糖果晚餐 |
| [12:02] | No. You know, as bad as I thought this would be, | 知道吗 尽管我想到了有多坏 |
| [12:05] | it’s so much worse. And I was like, | 结果还要坏得多 我想着是 |
| [12:07] | “What if they do this or that or the other thing”” | “他们万一这么做 万一那么做” |
| [12:08] | And then they did all the things. | 结果他们都做了 |
| [12:09] | They did all the things, Adam. | 全都做了 亚当 |
| [12:10] | Okay, okay, okay. I will handle this. | 好了 好了 让我来处理 |
| [12:13] | Mom? Dad? | 妈妈 爸爸 |
| [12:16] | It’s just me. | 只有我 |
| [12:18] | Bev is resting her eyes, and Joe’s down at Dunkin’ Donuts, | 贝弗在睡觉 乔去邓肯甜甜圈店了 |
| [12:21] | because it’s his favorite bathroom. | 他最喜欢那里的卫生间 |
| [12:25] | What are you doing here? | 你怎么会在这 |
| [12:26] | I saw them at pick-up | 我在接送点见到了他们 |
| [12:27] | and they couldn’t remember how to get back. | 他们找不到回来的路了 |
| [12:29] | Then your mom insisted | 然后你妈妈坚持让我 |
| [12:29] | I eat some veal | 吃些小牛排 |
| [12:30] | to fatten me up. | 让我长胖点 |
| [12:33] | She said i couldn’t leave until it’s all gone. | 她说我吃不完不能走 |
| [12:36] | I’m the veal now. | 我整个人都小牛排了 |
| [12:39] | Italian mothers like to feed people. | 意大利妈妈喜欢给人做吃的 |
| [12:41] | They also like to kiss on the mouth, Adam. | 她们还喜欢亲你的嘴 |
| [12:46] | Well, kiss her back next time, | 下次亲回去就是了 |
| [12:47] | see what happens. I don’t know. | 看看结果如何 谁知道呢 |
| [12:50] | Adam, this is not funny. | 亚当 这不好笑 |
| [12:51] | Look-look, don’t worry, these are just, you know, | 听着 不用担心 这些只是 |
| [12:54] | day one growing pains. | 第一天的烦恼 |
| [12:56] | There’s no more juice boxes. | 果汁盒子都没有了 |
| [13:00] | Thanks, Obama. | 感谢奥巴马 |
| [13:13] | One day, one day your parents watched our kids, | 就一天 让你父母看孩子一天时间 |
| [13:15] | and they turned our little girl into Bill O’Reilly. | 就把小女儿变成了评论员欧莱利 |
| [13:20] | What am I supposed to do, Andi, | 我能怎么办 安迪 |
| [13:21] | go out to the RV, knock on the door, | 去外面的房车敲门 |
| [13:22] | and tell my own parents to leave? | 让我的父母走人吗 |
| [13:24] | That’s a great idea. Do that. | 好主意 就这么办 |
| [13:27] | Oh, okay. If you feel so strongly about it, | 好啊 如果你觉得可行 |
| [13:28] | why don’t you go out there and do it. | 你为什么不去把这事做了 |
| [13:30] | Well, I can’t do it. They like me. | 我不能这么做 他们喜欢我 |
| [13:32] | I mean, you know, they love you, but they really like me. | 他们也爱你 但他们真的很喜欢我 |
| [13:36] | Look, I agree. We got to get ’em out of here, | 我知道 我们必须让他们走 |
| [13:38] | but I don’t want to hurt their feelings. | 但我不想伤害他们的感情 |
| [13:41] | I know. I just… | 我知道 我只是 |
| [13:44] | I wish there was someplace else they could go. | 希望他们还有别的地方可去 |
| [13:48] | Hey, you know where they’ve never stayed? | 你知道什么地方他们不想留吗 |
| [13:49] | Tom Selleck’s house. | 汤姆·塞立克家 |
| [13:52] | Nice. | 有道理 |
| [13:53] | That’s right. It’s not a family until everybody suffers. | 没错 所有人受罪才叫家庭 |
| [13:58] | So I’m thinking we put ’em in your driveway. | 我想让他们去你家行车道上 |
| [13:59] | Oh, no way. | 不行 |
| [14:01] | Why would I want them here? | 我为什么要让他们来 |
| [14:05] | Uh, well, because your invitation to Joe and Bev | 因为 你邀请乔和贝弗来 |
| [14:08] | will heal the awful breach | 会缓解你们之间 |
| [14:10] | that you’ve been struggling with for years. | 纠结多年的严重不和 |
| [14:12] | Boom. | 怎么样 |
| [14:14] | I don’t want to heal the breach. | 我不想缓解不和 |
| [14:16] | I have enjoyed 19 mother-in-law-free years. | 我度过了19年没有婆婆的愉快时光 |
| [14:19] | It’s like heaven, but you don’t have to be a good person. | 这就是天堂 都不用当好人就进了 |
| [14:23] | Okay, but I-I need them | 好吧 但我需要 |
| [14:24] | out of our driveway, all right? | 他们搬离我家车道 行了吧 |
| [14:25] | There’s a septic hose in my rosebushes. | 我家的玫瑰丛里有根烂水管 |
| [14:27] | Okay, how about this, golden boy, huh? | 好 这样如何 爸妈宠儿 |
| [14:30] | I’ll tell Mom and Dad that you want them to stay here. | 我会告诉爸妈 你希望他们住在这 |
| [14:32] | Then when they come over here, you can tell ’em no | 等他们过来以后 你再当着他们 |
| [14:33] | to their innocent, loving faces. Hmm? | 无辜可爱的面容 拒绝他们 |
| [14:37] | They got us, baby. | 我们被吃定了 宝贝 |
| [14:37] | No, no. | 没有没有 |
| [14:40] | Relax, Big Daddy. | 放松 老大哥 |
| [14:42] | You know what? | 这样吧 |
| [14:42] | Go ahead and bring them over here. | 你就去把他们带过来 |
| [14:44] | And I’ll just tell them that you came to us first, | 我会告诉他们 是你先来找我们的 |
| [14:46] | ’cause you don’t want them staying at your place. | 因为你不想让他们住在你那 |
| [14:48] | Fine by me. Let’s burn this whole thing down! | 我无所谓 大家同归于尽吧 |
| [14:50] | Okay, okay, okay. Everybody just take… | 冷静 冷静 所有人 |
| [14:52] | just take it easy, all right? | 冷静点 好吗 |
| [14:53] | I mean, there has to be a solution. | 我是说 肯定有个解决办法 |
| [14:56] | So, short of faking our own deaths, what do we do? | 好的 除了我们装死以外 还有什么方法 |
| [15:00] | Well, my parents live in a retirement village, | 我爸妈住在养老镇 |
| [15:03] | and they love it. | 过得挺好的 |
| [15:04] | Oh, Dad hates those places. Well, yeah, | 我爸讨厌那种地方 |
| [15:06] | but what if we don’t tell him it’s one of those places? | 除非我们不告诉他那是养老镇 |
| [15:09] | Yeah, we can just bring ’em there and-and tell ’em | 对 我们可以带他们过去 告诉他们 |
| [15:11] | it’s a regular apartment that you guys are looking at | 是你们在找的普通公寓 |
| [15:13] | because you’re thinking of downsizing. | 因为你们想找个小点的地方住 |
| [15:15] | Yeah. Yeah, and then by the time | 对 等到那时候 |
| [15:16] | Dad figures out where he is, | 老爸一看那地方 |
| [15:18] | he’ll love it. You know, | 肯定喜欢 |
| [15:19] | that could really work. Those places are fancy now. | 这样真的可以 那些地方现在可高档了 |
| [15:21] | And Dad won’t be hard to trick. He still thinks | 骗老爸很容易的 他到现在都以为 |
| [15:23] | you voted for Obama “By accident”” | 你是不小心投给了奥巴马 |
| [15:29] | Wow, this is a nice apartment. Yeah. | 这个公寓真不错 |
| [15:31] | And no sharp corners. | 家具都没有尖角 |
| [15:34] | What a warm welcome from that lady at the gate. Yeah. | 大门口的女人欢迎我们真热情啊 |
| [15:37] | I think she was Vietnamese. | 我觉得她肯定是个越南人 |
| [15:38] | I’d love to watch her eat a baked potato. | 我想看她吃烤土豆 |
| [15:41] | So, Andi, how about this place, huh? | 所以 安迪 这个地方怎么样 |
| [15:43] | Psh. Gosh, Don, | 天啊 大唐 |
| [15:45] | you and Marcy may call this downsizing, | 你和玛茜说这这是小地方 |
| [15:47] | but I-I call it upgradezing. | 我觉得你们分明是升级了 |
| [15:50] | And no guest room. You’ll like that. | 没有客房 你肯定喜欢 |
| [15:53] | I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
| [15:54] | There’s something about this place. | 感觉这地方有问题 |
| [15:55] | Why are there ramps everywhere instead of stairs? | 为什么到处都是坡 没有台阶 |
| [15:58] | Oh, uh, that’s because ramps are the stairs of the future. | 那是因为 坡是未来的台阶 |
| [16:03] | Yeah, yeah. That’s right. I mean, in a few years, | 对 没错 过不了几年 |
| [16:05] | you’re only gonna see stairs in a museum. | 你就只能在博物馆里看到台阶了 |
| [16:07] | A-And not to walk on, just to look at. | 不是用来走的 只能看 |
| [16:10] | Eventually, people will be born | 最终人类将会 |
| [16:11] | without the ability to climb steps. | 失去爬台阶的能力 |
| [16:14] | Nature has no stairs. | 未来没有台阶 |
| [16:16] | Mountains are nature’s ramps to the sky. | 山峰都是自然通往天空的坡 |
| [16:20] | Or steps, if you will. | 如果你说台阶也行 |
| [16:23] | That doesn’t make any sense. | 说的什么乱七八糟的 |
| [16:26] | So, I read in the lobby that they have | 我在大厅看到的 他们这里还有 |
| [16:28] | bingo, musicals, comedy nights. | 宾果之夜 歌剧之夜 喜剧之夜 |
| [16:30] | Oh, and there’s a restaurant that serves dinner | 还有一个餐厅 在下午两点到四点 |
| [16:32] | 00 to 4:00 p.M. | 提供晚餐 |
| [16:34] | I know that’s when I like to eat. | 我最爱在那时候吃晚餐了 |
| [16:36] | That sounds fun. | 听起来不错 |
| [16:39] | Call me crazy but, Joe, | 可能我是疯了吧 乔 |
| [16:41] | I-I’m thinking this place could be good for us. | 我觉得这个地方很适合我们俩 |
| [16:44] | For you? Wow, Ma. | 你们住 哇 妈妈 |
| [16:46] | That never occurred to us. | 我们从来都没想过 |
| [16:47] | Yeah, yeah, it’s not bad. | 对 不错的 |
| [16:49] | Oh, here’s a brochure. | 这有个小册子 |
| [16:51] | Oh, no, no, no! Don’t read that! That’s full of lies. | 不不不 别看 都是骗人的 |
| [16:53] | It’s made in China. | 中国制造的 |
| [16:54] | “Here at the Oaks we welcome all levels of clients. | 橡树区欢迎各阶段客户 |
| [16:57] | “A Level– full independence. | 第一阶段 完全自理 |
| [16:59] | “B Level– targeted support. | 第二阶段 需要针对性帮助 |
| [17:01] | C Level– live-in staff.” | 第三阶段 全天候看护 |
| [17:04] | And then | 还有 |
| [17:04] | D Level. | 第四阶段 |
| [17:06] | What’s D Level? | 第四阶段是什么 |
| [17:07] | It’s just a picture of a tree in a field. | 只有张照片 是野地里的一棵树 |
| [17:11] | This is an old folks’ home! | 这里是养老院 |
| [17:14] | What?! | 什么 |
| [17:17] | Why would Don and Marcy want to live in an old folks’ home? | 为什么大唐和玛茜要住到养老院来 |
| [17:20] | Well, it’s not for them– it’s for us. | 不是他们想住 是想我们住 |
| [17:22] | They used it as a trick to get us out here. | 他们用这招忽悠我们来的 |
| [17:25] | They want us out of the house, | 他们想把我们赶出他家 |
| [17:26] | but they’re just too chicken to tell us. | 可没胆量直说 |
| [17:28] | Well, that was not very nice at all, Marcy. | 这可太不对了 玛茜 |
| [17:34] | Uh, which chair would you like me to die in, huh? | 你希望我死在哪张椅子里 |
| [17:36] | This one or that one or this one, right? | 这个 那个 还是那个 啊 |
| [17:38] | That’s the great thing about this place– | 这就是这里的优点 |
| [17:41] | there are so many options. | 提供多种选择 |
| [17:46] | If you wanted us to go, you should’ve just told us to go! | 如果你想让我们走 应该直接说的 |
| [17:49] | I didn’t want to upset you. You know, | 我不希望惹你生气 |
| [17:51] | more than you are usually. | 让你比平时火气更大 |
| [17:54] | Look, it’s hard to tell you stuff, all right? | 很难开口跟你说这种事 |
| [17:56] | I told you Andi went back to work, | 我把安迪回去工作的消息告诉你了 |
| [17:58] | and you gave me a hard time. | 你就给我难堪 |
| [17:59] | Marcy was honest | 玛茜诚实 |
| [18:00] | and said she didn’t want you to stay with her 19 years ago, | 19年前跟你们说 不希望跟你们住 |
| [18:04] | and you’re still mad at her. | 到今天你们还生她的气 |
| [18:05] | That’s not true. Well, it is true, | 哪有的事 确实有 |
| [18:07] | but I don’t like the way you said it. | 但我不爱听你说 |
| [18:09] | Okay, look, it’s just… | 好吧 听着 只是 |
| [18:11] | you know, living in our driveway, | 住在我们家车道上 |
| [18:13] | showing our kids autopsies, | 给孩子们看验尸 |
| [18:16] | stealing turtles | 还从路边 |
| [18:17] | from the side of the road. | 偷乌龟 |
| [18:19] | It’s-it’s a lot to take. | 太难接受了 |
| [18:22] | I’m fine with it. It’s just Adam. | 我无所谓 主要亚当有意见 |
| [18:28] | You got something to say, say it. | 你有话想说 就说吧 |
| [18:30] | Yeah, Adam. Say it. | 就是啊 亚当 说呗 |
| [18:34] | Fine. Okay. | 好吧 |
| [18:35] | Here it is. | 我说了 |
| [18:38] | I love you, but you got to find your own place to live. | 我爱你们 但你们得找你们自己的地方住 |
| [18:41] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [18:43] | Wha–? That’s it? Okay? | 什么 这就 好了 |
| [18:45] | We haven’t really enjoyed our time here anyway. | 其实我们也不爱住这 |
| [18:49] | What? | 什么 |
| [18:50] | You make too many rules. | 你家规矩太多了 |
| [18:51] | We can’t tell stories like we like | 我们不能说喜欢的故事 |
| [18:53] | or watch the TV shows we like. | 不能看爱看的电视节目 |
| [18:55] | Or pick up a turtle | 也不能捡 |
| [18:56] | that technically belongs to any American. | 属于全美国的乌龟 |
| [19:00] | My taxes | 我交的税 |
| [19:00] | have bought me at least one stinkin’ street turtle. | 至少能够买只路边的破乌龟了吧 |
| [19:03] | So we’ll go. | 所以我们走 |
| [19:05] | And-and you’re not mad? | 你们不生气吧 |
| [19:06] | Are you mad? | 你生气吗 |
| [19:08] | Not if you’re not mad. | 你们不我就不 |
| [19:09] | Just the usual mad. | 日常生气吧 |
| [19:11] | Nobody could stay mad at our sweet boy. | 谁能对我们家可爱的宝贝儿子生气啊 |
| [19:14] | He’s so handsome, just like… | 他这么帅 就像… |
| [19:17] | Oh. Who-who is it, Joe? | 那个谁来着 乔 |
| [19:18] | – Larry King? – No. | -拉里·金 -不是 |
| [19:19] | No. The actor. | 那个演员 |
| [19:22] | Don Rickles? | 唐·里克斯 |
| [19:23] | No, the actor. With the hair? | 不对 那个演员 有头发的 |
| [19:26] | Oh, they all have hair. | 他们都有头发 |
| [19:27] | Not Telly Savalas. | 特利·萨瓦拉斯就没有 |
| [19:28] | Oh, he was good. | 他是个好演员 |
| [19:30] | Yul Brynner was a good bald guy, too. | 尤尔·伯连纳也是个好秃子 |
| [19:33] | Oh. If only the two of them had been in a movie together. | 要是他们俩一起演电影 |
| [19:35] | You can’t do that. From behind, | 看他们的背影 |
| [19:36] | you can’t tell who’s talking. | 你都看不出来谁是谁 |
| [19:42] | Promise me I will never get like that. | 跟我保证 我以后绝对不会变成那样 |
| [19:45] | Oh, you’re gonna be exactly like that. | 你绝对会变成那样 |
| [19:48] | But I will love it. | 不过我会依然爱你 |
| [19:50] | You know who won’t love it? Our kids. | 知道谁不爱吗 我们家娃 |
| [19:53] | Yeah. We’re gonna get their kids | 对 以后我们给他们的孩子 |
| [19:54] | all kinds of crazy gifts. | 送各种奇葩礼物 |
| [19:57] | Tasers, an iguana, | 雷瑟枪 鬣蜥 |
| [19:59] | a wood chipper. | 碎木机 |
| [20:02] | Hey, that reminds me, | 提醒我了 |
| [20:03] | what did you do with that turtle? | 你怎么处理的那只乌龟 |
| [20:04] | Oh, I dropped him off at the zoo with a Post-it on its back | 我把它送到一家动物园了 |
| [20:07] | that said, “Thanks, Obama.” | 宣传单后面写着 感谢奥巴马 |
| [20:17] | Hey, Ma. What’s going on? You’re packing up? | 妈 怎么了 收拾行李呢 |
| [20:19] | We found an apartment. | 我们找到个公寓 |
| [20:20] | Your dad’s inside | 你爸爸在屋里 |
| [20:21] | right now signing the lease with the landlady. | 跟女房东签租约呢 |
| [20:23] | That’s great! Uh, I think those are our towels. | 太棒了 那些好像是我们家毛巾 |
| [20:27] | You kick us out, I take towels. | 你把我们赶走了 我们就拿你家毛巾 |
| [20:32] | That’s worth it. | 值了 |
| [20:37] | Hello, Burns. | 你好 伯恩斯 |
| [20:41] | What? | 啥 |
| [20:41] | See? Look at his face. I told you it’d be funny. | 看吧 瞧他那表情 我就说肯定有意思 |
| [20:46] | You’re moving in with her? | 你要搬她家去 |
| [20:47] | She’s renting us the other half of her duplex. | 她把她的双层公寓租给我们一半 |
| [20:51] | Ma, why didn’t you tell me | 妈 你怎么没告诉我 |
| [20:52] | she was your new landlady? | 她是你们的女房东 |
| [20:54] | You never like me to describe anyone in my stories. | 你不是让我讲故事的时候别描述人吗 |