| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:03] | Thanks for cooking, Ma. | 多谢你下厨 妈 |
| [00:04] | I haven’t had a real home-cooked meal in… | 我没吃正宗家常菜的日子已经有 |
| [00:06] | one day. | 一天了 |
| [00:14] | God, you’re pretty. | 天 你真漂亮 |
| [00:19] | Oh, you’re lucky you’re pretty, too. | 算你运气好 你长得也漂亮 |
| [00:22] | Oh, I’ve missed nights like this. | 我想念这样的夜晚 |
| [00:23] | Everybody I love under the same roof. | 我爱的人全在一个屋檐下 |
| [00:26] | Well, my wife couldn’t make it, so not everyone. | 我老婆没来 所以人并不全 |
| [00:28] | I knew what I was saying. | 我知道自己说的什么 |
| [00:32] | You guys got to come see what the girls did to Grandpa. | 你们应该看看我姐妹对爷爷做了什么 |
| [00:34] | It’s awesome. | 太棒了 |
| [00:36] | I bet it’s not as awesome as your mother’s coffee. | 我打赌没你妈妈煮的咖啡这么棒 |
| [00:38] | I made that. | 是我煮的 |
| [00:39] | It’s bitter. I don’t… | 太苦 我不… |
| [00:50] | We turned him into a princess. | 我们把他变成了公主 |
| [00:53] | He’s all over my Instagram now. | 现在我的图片分享上全是他 |
| [00:57] | You’re about to break the Internet. | 你马上要成网红了[打破网] |
| [00:58] | Good. I hate the Internet. | 很好 我讨厌网络 |
| [01:01] | Princess Cranky, the grumpiest princess in all the land. | 暴脾气公主 全世界脾气最坏的公主 |
| [01:08] | You’re such a pushover when it comes to these kids, Joe. | 和孩子们在一起 你太好说话了 乔 |
| [01:10] | Well, I can’t say no to these sweet faces. | 我无法拒绝这些可爱的小脸 |
| [01:13] | Ah, well, when you live with them, | 等你和她们一起生活以后 |
| [01:15] | that wears off pretty quick. | 很快就能下得去手了 |
| [01:17] | Okay, guys, up to bed. | 孩子们 睡觉去 |
| [01:19] | Good night, Grandpa. Good night, Grandpa. | 晚安 爷爷 晚安 奶奶 |
| [01:20] | – Good night. – Night. | -晚安 -晚安 |
| [01:21] | – Love you. – Night. | -爱你们 -晚安 |
| [01:25] | Ooh, this damn shoulder’s barking at me again. | 该死的肩膀又痛了 |
| [01:27] | You got a couple of pain pills? | 你有止痛药吗 |
| [01:28] | Did you check your purse? | 你看了你的女士包吗 |
| [01:32] | Relax, Princess. I’ll get you some from the kitchen. | 冷静 公主 我去厨房给你拿 |
| [01:37] | I worry about your dad. | 我有点担心你爸 |
| [01:39] | He’s been taking way too many pills lately. | 他最近吃的药太多了 |
| [01:41] | Well, if they’re mood enhancers, they’ve met their match. | 如果是改善心情的药 它们算是碰到对手了 |
| [01:45] | What does his doctor say about all this? | 他的医生怎么说的 |
| [01:47] | Oh, he hasn’t been to the doctor since… | 他上次去看医生还是… |
| [01:49] | Well, it was the morning after Obama first won. | 奥巴马第一次当选的早上 |
| [01:53] | His blood pressure shot through the roof. | 他的血压一下子就破表了 |
| [01:57] | Ma, that’s almost ten years ago. | 妈 差不多有十年了 |
| [01:59] | You got to get him to go. | 你得让他去看医生 |
| [02:01] | I’ve tried, but he is so stuck in his ways. | 我试过了 但他太顽固了 |
| [02:05] | About everything. | 所有的事都顽固 |
| [02:06] | Bought him a cordless phone. | 给他买了个无绳电话 |
| [02:08] | He still stands right next to the base. | 他还是站座机旁边打电话 |
| [02:09] | Makes me furious. | 我快气死了 |
| [02:12] | Well, somebody should talk to him. | 应该有人跟他谈谈 |
| [02:14] | Any volunteers? | 有自愿者吗 |
| [02:19] | Fine, I’ll do it. | 好 我去 |
| [02:20] | Oh, thank you, honey. | 谢谢你 亲爱的 |
| [02:24] | No, no, no. No. | 别去别去 |
| [02:26] | Let’s go upstairs and pretend like we don’t know | 我们上楼假装不知道 |
| [02:27] | what’s happening. Come on. | 出了什么事 快来 |
| [02:30] | I learn something new from you every day. | 我每天都能跟你学到新知识 |
| [02:33] | Dad, you got to go to the doctor. | 爸 你得去看医生 |
| [02:35] | If you don’t get a check-up, | 如果你不检查 |
| [02:37] | how will you know if something’s wrong with you? | 你怎么知道自己病了 |
| [02:38] | I’d rather not know. | 我不想知道 |
| [02:40] | Smile, smile, smile, dead. | 笑 笑 笑 挂 |
| [02:43] | That’s how I want to punch my ticket. | 我的人生就要这样结束 |
| [02:50] | Okay, when did you ever smile? | 好吧 你什么时候笑过 |
| [02:54] | He smiles at me all the time. | 他总是对我笑 |
| [02:56] | Yeah, see? Why can’t you be more like your brother? | 瞧 你为什么不能像你哥这样呢 |
| [02:58] | He’s always on my side, right, Donny? | 他总是支持我 对吗 小唐 |
| [03:00] | Ah, you got it, Pops. | 那当然 老爸 |
| [03:03] | He’s not on your side, he’s just a big yes man. | 他不是支持你 他只是一个好好先生 |
| [03:06] | Everybody’s a yes man when you’re always right. | 你永远正确 当然没人会反对你 |
| [03:10] | All right, all right, so let me get this straight. | 好吧 我来说清楚一下 |
| [03:12] | You two jokers have decided you don’t need doctors. | 你们两个家伙决定不需要看医生 |
| [03:14] | I got through the Vietnam War on aspirin and Bengay. | 我靠阿司匹林和止痛药膏就熬过了越战 |
| [03:20] | That’s not true. | 不可能 |
| [03:21] | You weren’t there. | 你当时又不在 |
| [03:25] | You weren’t there! | 你当时也不在 |
| [03:27] | Adam, let me talk to you for a minute in the kitchen. | 亚当 我们去厨房聊下 |
| [03:29] | Come on. | 来 |
| [03:45] | What? | 什么事 |
| [03:46] | I just brought you in here so Dad could leave. | 我就是把你带过来 好让爸撤 |
| [03:48] | What? | 什么 |
| [03:49] | Dad! | 爸 |
| [03:50] | Thanks for letting me borrow your car. | 多谢你把车借给我 |
| [04:05] | All right, Mom and Dad’ll be here any minute. | 爸妈随时会来 |
| [04:08] | Dad’s been avoiding me all week | 爸已经躲了我一周 |
| [04:09] | about going to the doctor, | 不想去看医生 |
| [04:10] | but I know he can’t resist brunch. | 但我知道他无法抗拒早午餐 |
| [04:13] | That man would walk into a hail of bullets for a plate of bacon. | 为了一盘培根 他愿意走过枪林弹雨 |
| [04:15] | Yeah. I turned the exhaust fan on high | 我把排气扇开到最强劲了 |
| [04:18] | so the smell wafts outside. | 香味全吹出去了 |
| [04:19] | He’s gonna float in here like a cartoon bear. | 他会像卡通熊一样飘到这里 |
| [04:23] | You guys might get along better if you stop nagging the old man. | 如果你不再冲爸唠叨 也许你们关系会好些 |
| [04:25] | Hey, I’d much rather be the fun son, like you, | 我也想做像你这样的搞笑儿子 |
| [04:28] | but someone has to step up and deal with things. | 但必须有人站出来解决问题 |
| [04:30] | And that kind of attitude is why he doesn’t invite you | 就是这样的态度 他才没邀请你 |
| [04:32] | to go mall walking with us. | 和我们一起去林荫路散步 |
| [04:34] | You guys go mall walking together? | 你们去林荫路散步吗 |
| [04:37] | Yeah. We got matching sweat suits. It’s adorable. | 我们有父子运动装 非常可爱 |
| [04:40] | I’d mall walk if someone asked me. | 如果邀请我 我也愿意去 |
| [04:43] | Three guys in matching sweat suits? | 三个男人穿一样的运动装 |
| [04:45] | That’s a boy band, Adam. | 那是男孩乐队 亚当 |
| [04:50] | Honey, I’ll go mall walking with you. | 亲爱的 我愿意陪你去林荫路散步 |
| [04:53] | Not you. | 不想和你去 |
| [04:56] | Hey. Morning. | 早 |
| [04:56] | Hey, Ma. | 妈 |
| [04:58] | Where’s Dad? | 爸爸呢 |
| [04:59] | He won’t come. He doesn’t want to hear it about the doctor. | 他不想来 他不想听医生的事 |
| [05:02] | But Lowell was nice enough to give me a ride. | 但洛厄尔非常好 开车送我来的 |
| [05:04] | He told me if I ever needed anything, | 他跟我说有任何需要 |
| [05:07] | I should call him. | 就打电话给他 |
| [05:08] | I didn’t think she’d really call. | 我没想到她会真打 |
| [05:10] | Oh, she calls. | 她肯定会 |
| [05:12] | Oh. I love him. | 我爱他 |
| [05:13] | It’s like having a house boy. | 好像我有一个家僮 |
| [05:19] | Lowell, you do not want to start driving her around. | 洛厄尔 你不能惯着她 |
| [05:22] | All right? She’s got a million places to go, | 她要去的地方可多了 |
| [05:24] | and they all suck. | 全都很烂 |
| [05:25] | I can’t tell her no; she’s too nice. | 我不能拒绝她 她太好了 |
| [05:28] | Listen, when I first married Adam, | 我刚嫁给亚当时 |
| [05:29] | I got roped into driving her everywhere. | 我被说服开车送她去各种地方 |
| [05:31] | And the only way I got out of it | 我唯一脱身的办法 |
| [05:33] | was by going into labor with Kate | 是在去毛线店的途中 |
| [05:35] | in the middle of a yarn shop. | 阵痛发作 要生凯特了 |
| [05:36] | And before Andi, I used to drive her. | 在安迪之前 是我送她 |
| [05:39] | That’s when I learned a little trick called | 我在那时候学会了 |
| [05:41] | “Pretending to fall asleep.” | “假装睡着”这招 |
| [05:43] | I got it from watching the possums on The Animal Channel. | 我看动物频道 跟着负鼠学的 |
| [05:46] | Who wouldn’t mind driving me to the outlets on Saturday? | 谁不介意星期六送我去折扣店 |
| [05:54] | I can’t believe Dad wouldn’t come. | 真不敢相信爸不来 |
| [05:55] | He is so stubborn. | 他太顽固了 |
| [05:57] | Oh, the both of you are stubborn. | 你俩都顽固 |
| [05:58] | Hey, don’t say I’m like Dad. | 别说我和爸一样 |
| [06:00] | You know I hate that. | 你知道我讨厌这点 |
| [06:01] | I wasn’t going to. | 我没打算说 |
| [06:02] | I was just going to look at Andi knowingly. | 我本打算跟安迪来个你都懂的眼神 |
| [06:08] | Okay, so nobody’s gonna do anything? | 没人愿意干涉吗 |
| [06:12] | Fine. | 好 |
| [06:13] | I’ll go over there and talk to Dad– | 我过去和爸谈 |
| [06:15] | who I’m nothing like… | 我一点也不像他 |
| [06:17] | …and be the bad guy like I always am. | 我去做坏人 像以前一样 |
| [06:19] | Bacon’s not my only weapon. | 培根不是我唯一的武器 |
| [06:20] | I got one more way to turn up the heat. | 我还有办法对他施压[调高温] |
| [06:22] | Good luck. He already keeps the heat on 82. | 祝你好运 他已经把暖气开到27度了 |
| [06:25] | You should see how I sweat through my nightgown. | 你应该看看我汗湿睡衣的样子 |
| [06:28] | Ma, no. | 妈 别说了 |
| [06:35] | Dad, I know you’re home. I heard you yelling at the news. | 爸 我知道你在家 我听到你对新闻咆哮了 |
| [06:41] | Hey. Would you stop banging on my house? | 你别砸我家房子行吗 |
| [06:43] | I’m trying to get my dad to come out here. | 我想让我爸出来 |
| [06:46] | Wait, you’re the landlord. Can you unlock his door for me? | 慢着 你是房东 帮我开门好吗 |
| [06:48] | Nah, I like him more than you. | 不行 比起你 我更喜欢他 |
| [06:50] | You like him? | 你喜欢他 |
| [06:51] | He calls you Mrs. Chiquita Banana. | 他叫你金吉达香蕉女士 |
| [06:54] | Yeah, and I call him Colonel Sanders. | 我叫他肯德基上校 |
| [06:56] | We have a thing, we’re fun. | 我们俩的昵称 这叫风趣 |
| [06:58] | What’s with all the yapping, Charo? | 叫什么 夏罗[和她很相像的演员] |
| [07:00] | Dad, just get in the car. | 爸 上车 |
| [07:02] | I don’t have to do what you say. | 我不听你的话 |
| [07:03] | Fine, I can stand out here all day. | 没关系 我可以在这外面站一天 |
| [07:06] | Eh, not on my front porch, you can’t. | 你不要在我的门廊上 |
| [07:08] | All right, you old drumstick, | 行了 你这个老鸡腿 |
| [07:09] | get your Kentucky Fried butt in the car. | 快把你这肯德基油炸的身躯塞进车里 |
| [07:11] | Okay. Okay, settle down. I’m going. | 好吧 淡定 我去 |
| [07:16] | You want to learn how to be a man? | 你想学学怎么做一个男人吗 |
| [07:18] | Watch her. | 看她 |
| [07:22] | He got us both in one shot. He’s good. | 他这是一石二鸟 厉害 |
| [07:28] | Grandpa, please go to the doctor. | 爷爷 请您去看医生吧 |
| [07:31] | Yeah, Grandpa. | 是啊爷爷 |
| [07:32] | If you’re gone, who’s gonna ask me | 如果你去世了 谁还会让我 |
| [07:34] | to pull their finger every morning? | 每天早上给他拉扯手指[以使放屁]呢 |
| [07:40] | Grandma? | 奶奶吗 |
| [07:42] | No, that’s a grandpa’s job. | 不 那是你爷爷的事 |
| [07:45] | He’s teetering. | 他要动摇了 |
| [07:47] | Yep. And now the little one for the win. | 是的 现在派最小的去取胜利果实 |
| [07:55] | Please go to the doctor, Grandpa. | 请您去看医生吧 爷爷 |
| [07:57] | I love you so much. | 我太爱你了 |
| [08:01] | Oh, kids, I can’t say no to you. | 孩子 我无法拒绝你 |
| [08:04] | So why don’t you leave the room so I can say no to your dad. | 所以你们都离开房间 我好拒绝你们爸爸 |
| [08:08] | Come on! | 不会吧 |
| [08:11] | Everybody in this room | 这里的每一个人 |
| [08:12] | goes to the doctor once a year. | 每年都会去看一次医生 |
| [08:14] | Okay, it’s what normal humans do. | 这是正常人都会做的事 |
| [08:16] | What is your problem? | 为什么你就不行呢 |
| [08:17] | Look, I had this friend, Barney, from the VFW. | 我有个朋友 巴尼 是个退伍军人 |
| [08:21] | His wife was named Libby. | 他妻子叫利比 |
| [08:23] | I always found that strange. | 我一直觉得很奇怪 |
| [08:25] | Libby. What’s that short for? | 利比 全称是什么呢 |
| [08:31] | Elibabeth? | 利莎白吗 |
| [08:33] | Can I talk here? | 让我说话好吗 |
| [08:36] | Anyway, it had been a while, | 总之 有一段时间了 |
| [08:37] | and Barney went in ’cause he had a cough. | 巴尼因为咳嗽去了医院 |
| [08:40] | When he came out of that doctor’s office, | 当他离开医生的办公室时 |
| [08:42] | his cough was gone. | 他的咳嗽没了 |
| [08:43] | Because he was dead. | 因为他去世了 |
| [08:47] | Poor Elibabeth. | 可怜的利莎白 |
| [08:50] | Now she’s a wibow. | 现在她成了寡布 |
| [08:55] | Don’t do what he does. | 不要跟着他胡来好吗 |
| [08:58] | Let’s go, Donny. | 我们走吧 小唐 |
| [08:59] | I’m with you, Dad, | 我是支持你的 老爹 |
| [09:00] | just like on our mall walks | 就像上回亚当没被邀请的 |
| [09:01] | that Adam is not invited to. | 我们在林荫路上的漫步 |
| [09:06] | Yeah, did you know they go mall walking together? | 你知道他们一块去散步了吗 |
| [09:11] | I never should have said anything to Adam. | 我不该跟亚当说这些事的 |
| [09:13] | Now they’re just in a big fight. | 现在他们大吵起来了 |
| [09:15] | Bev, this is going nowhere. | 贝弗 这样不行 |
| [09:18] | Oh, they’re throwing handfuls of snow at each other. | 他们现在在相互扔雪 |
| [09:20] | Oh, well, that’s nice. I like to see my boys playing. | 很不错啊 我就喜欢看我的孩子们玩耍 |
| [09:25] | Here’s what we’ll do: I will call Adam’s doctor | 我们该这样 我会给亚当的医生打电话 |
| [09:27] | and make Joe an appointment, | 给乔预约 |
| [09:28] | and then you will annoy him until he goes. | 然后你去闹他 直到他同意去 |
| [09:30] | I can do annoying. | 闹人我行 |
| [09:32] | I’d like to make an appointment | 我需要预约 |
| [09:33] | with Dr. Phillips, please. | 菲利普医生的 麻烦了 |
| [09:35] | What? | 什么 |
| [09:39] | No, that’s okay. I’ll call back. | 没事 我待会再打过去 |
| [09:41] | – Okay, bye-bye. – What happened? | -再见 -怎么了 |
| [09:43] | Dr. Phillips retired five years ago. | 菲利普医生已经退休五年了 |
| [09:46] | But Adam said he sees him every year, | 但是亚当跟我说他每年都会去 |
| [09:48] | which means someone’s a liar. | 这么说来 有人是骗子 |
| [09:51] | Why would Dr. Phillips lie about his retirement? | 为什么菲利普医生要撒谎说他退休了呢 |
| [09:58] | Oh, that’s right, you’re Don’s mom, too. | 我都忘了 你也是小唐的亲妈 |
| [10:04] | Listen, you can’t make me do what I don’t want to do. | 你不能让我做我不愿意做的事 |
| [10:07] | So why don’t you go back in the kitchen | 所以要不你回厨房吧 |
| [10:09] | with the rest of the jibbedas. | 和那些个叽叽喳喳待一起 |
| [10:11] | What’s a jibbeda? | 什么是叽叽喳喳 |
| [10:12] | You know, jibbeda, jibbeda, jibbeda. | 你知道的 说个不停的你们 |
| [10:16] | Adam? | 亚当 |
| [10:17] | Look, I was thinking, | 我在想 |
| [10:18] | maybe your dad would feel better if you told him | 如果你告诉你爸爸你上回的体检如何 |
| [10:20] | how your last physical went. | 可能他会感觉好一些 |
| [10:23] | Huh? Wh-When was that again? | 那是什么时候的事来着 |
| [10:25] | Uh, I don’t know, I saw Dr. Phillips, | 我不知道 我大概六个月前 |
| [10:26] | like, six months ago. | 看了菲利普医生 |
| [10:28] | Checked my heart, my blood pressure, | 检查了我的心脏 血压 |
| [10:29] | gave me the one-handed juggle. | 让我做了单手杂耍 |
| [10:35] | That’s interesting because dr. Phillips retired five years ago. | 有趣 因为菲利普医生已经退休五年了 |
| [10:38] | Yeah. | 是的 |
| [10:39] | I just called his office. Busted. | 我刚给他办公室打了电话 被抓包了吧 |
| [10:41] | No, no, not busted. | 不 没有抓包 |
| [10:44] | I still go to his office, but I see a different doctor. | 我还去的他办公室 但我看的是另一位医生 |
| [10:46] | Oh, really? What’s his name? | 是吗 他叫什么 |
| [10:49] | Dr. Pepper. | 佩普医生 |
| [10:52] | Literally any other name would’ve worked. | 说真的 你说个其他的名字我都信了 |
| [11:02] | Adam, why haven’t you been going to the doctor? | 亚当 为什么你不去体检呢 |
| [11:05] | Get him, Bev. | 怼他 贝弗 |
| [11:08] | How can you say that to me and not Dad? | 你怎么只说我不说爸爸 |
| [11:10] | Because I live with him and he controls the thermostat. | 因为我跟他住一起 而他控制着恒温器 |
| [11:13] | God. | 天 |
| [11:14] | A person can only buy so many nightgowns. | 一个人只能买这么多睡衣了 |
| [11:18] | Okay, look, last time I went, | 是这样的 上回我去的时候 |
| [11:20] | they wanted to run all these extra tests, | 他们想让我做所有额外的检查 |
| [11:21] | and I had to sweat the results out for a week | 我坐立不安地等了结果一礼拜 |
| [11:24] | before they came back normal. | 他们才告诉我一切正常 |
| [11:25] | It scared the crap out of me. | 我真是吓怕了 |
| [11:27] | So you lied and stopped going? | 所以你就撒谎然后不去了吗 |
| [11:29] | Hey, you have secrets, too, upstairs candy drawer. | 你也有秘密的 楼上的糖果抽屉 |
| [11:35] | That is not mine, that was here when we moved in. | 那不是我的 我们搬进来的时候就有了 |
| [11:39] | Dad, you’re a doctor-hater, back me up on this. | 爸 你也不喜欢去医院 支持我一下 |
| [11:41] | Adam, you are being a moron for ignoring your health. | 亚当 你忽视自己的健康真是太傻了 |
| [11:44] | What?! | 什么 |
| [11:46] | From you? Seriously? | 这居然是从你嘴里吐出来的 真的假的 |
| [11:48] | Well, this is different. | 这是不同的 |
| [11:50] | You have young kids, a beautiful wife. | 你有小孩 有个美丽的妻子 |
| [11:53] | You have a reason to live. | 你有理由活着 |
| [11:56] | I heard that one, Joe. | 我听见了 乔 |
| [11:59] | God, you’re pretty. | 天 你真漂亮 |
| [12:02] | Very funny. | 真有趣 |
| [12:03] | The point is, we all want you to go. | 重点是 我们都想你去 |
| [12:08] | Okay, okay, I’ll go. | 好吧 我会去的 |
| [12:11] | But on one condition: | 但有一个条件 |
| [12:12] | You’re going, too. | 你也一起 |
| [12:14] | So you won’t go unless I go? | 所以我不去你就不去吗 |
| [12:16] | That’s right. | 对 |
| [12:17] | Just like when you potty-trained him. | 就像当时你训练他坐便 |
| [12:21] | Fine. | 好吧 |
| [12:22] | Ha-ha! | 哈哈 |
| [12:23] | You’re going, too, Don. | 你也一起 小唐 |
| [12:30] | These gowns are ridiculous. | 这罩衣太滑稽了 |
| [12:33] | Well, at least your gown fits. | 至少你的是合身的 |
| [12:34] | I’m flapping in the breeze down here. | 我这下面冷飕飕的 |
| [12:36] | That’s because they don’t have the Jolly Green Giant size. | 那是因为他们没有绿巨人这么大的码 |
| [12:39] | Speaking of that… | 说到这个 |
| [12:40] | Legs together. | 把腿并拢 |
| [12:42] | You know, we could be home watching the game right now, | 我们本来是可以在家里看比赛的 |
| [12:45] | but, no, you had to go and make a big stink about this. | 但你偏偏要没完没了地拖我来 |
| [12:48] | Hey, I’m just trying to be a good son. | 我只是想做个好儿子 |
| [12:50] | I mean, look at this one. | 看看他 |
| [12:51] | He keeps licking tongue depressors | 他一直在舔压舌板 |
| [12:52] | and putting them back. | 然后又放回去 |
| [12:54] | I got to be better than him. | 我起码比那家伙好吧 |
| [12:57] | Well, all I know is I’ve had enough already. | 我只知道我受够了 |
| [13:00] | And no way in hell you’re getting me through that door. | 你也别想让我进那扇门 |
| [13:04] | Good morning, gentlemen. | 早上好 先生们 |
| [13:06] | I’m Dr. Knox. | 我是诺克斯医生 |
| [13:07] | I’ll be doing your check-ups today. | 我负责你们今天的检查 |
| [13:09] | So, who’s up first? | 谁先来 |
| [13:10] | That’d me be. | 我 |
| [13:12] | Let’s get this party started. | 让我们尽情享受吧 |
| [13:18] | – Here we go. – Thank you. | -给你 -谢谢 |
| [13:21] | Well, it’s a good thing I threw on some pants, | 还好我今天穿了裤子 |
| [13:22] | ’cause I really thought this house was empty. | 我还以为屋子里没人 |
| [13:26] | Oh. Hi, honey. | 亲爱的 |
| [13:27] | I just wanted to be here when the boys | 我只是想他们回来的时候 |
| [13:28] | came home from the doctor. | 我能在这 |
| [13:29] | And Lowell was nice enough to give me another ride. | 洛厄尔很贴心送我来的 |
| [13:31] | We got up so early, we already stopped | 我们起得很早 还在农贸市场 |
| [13:33] | at the farmer’s market. | 停了一会 |
| [13:35] | We helped the farmers set up. | 还帮着他们摆摊子来着 |
| [13:39] | I found a potato that looks like Elvis. | 我看到了一个像猫王的土豆 |
| [13:43] | Oh. Lowell said he’d glue some sideburns on. | 洛厄尔说他会贴些鬓胡 |
| [13:46] | I did. I did say that. | 我的确那么说了 |
| [13:48] | I don’t know why. | 我不知道为什么 |
| [13:50] | You know, Bev, | 你知道吗 贝弗 |
| [13:52] | Lowell has a family and-and responsibilities. | 洛厄尔还有家人要照顾 |
| [13:55] | He-he can’t keep giving you rides everywhere. | 他不能成天开车送你吧 |
| [13:58] | I’m so sorry, dear. | 真抱歉 亲爱的 |
| [14:00] | I just wasn’t thinking. | 我没想这么多 |
| [14:01] | You don’t have to take me to the outlets. | 你不用送我去商店了 |
| [14:04] | Oh, Andi, you can take me. | 安迪 你送我 |
| [14:05] | No. No. What… | 不 不 什么 |
| [14:08] | What just happened? | 刚发生了什么 |
| [14:09] | – I’m free. – Lowell? | -我自由了 -洛厄尔 |
| [14:11] | Get back here! No, you got to help me. | 回来 不 你得帮我 |
| [14:13] | No chance, sister. One of us has to live to tell this story. | 别想了 妹妹 咱俩总得有一个人遭殃 |
| [14:15] | – You… Hey, Lowell. | -你 -洛厄尔 |
| [14:17] | Out of my way! | 闪开 |
| [14:19] | Hey, boys, did you get a clean bill of health? | 你们身体检查的结果怎样 |
| [14:21] | Yeah, yeah, we’re all good. | 很好 我们都挺健康的 |
| [14:24] | But this lucky guy | 这家伙运气特好 |
| [14:25] | won himself a date with a colonoscopy. | 要做结肠镜检查呢 |
| [14:29] | These prep instructions read like a war movie, | 这些准备事项看起来和打仗一样 |
| [14:32] | and my rear end’s Omaha Beach. | 我的屁股就是诺曼底登陆的那个海滩 |
| [14:35] | This is all your fault. | 全都怪你 |
| [14:36] | Hey, I was just looking out for you. | 我是为你着想 好吗 |
| [14:38] | Well, I don’t need it. | 谁让你为我想了 |
| [14:39] | Why don’t you just mind your own business? | 能不能别多管闲事 |
| [14:40] | Because you are my business. | 你怎么是闲事呢 |
| [14:42] | You know, I took the day off of work to make sure | 我请了一天假 就为了让你能 |
| [14:44] | you stay healthy and live a long time. | 健健康康 长命百岁 |
| [14:46] | Jibbeda, jibbeda, jibbeda. | 看你说的一套一套的 |
| [14:49] | And you wonder why I’d rather hang out with your brother? | 所以我才愿意找你哥 不找你 |
| [14:54] | You know, I haven’t been a dad as long as you, | 我当爹虽然没你当的时间长 |
| [14:56] | but I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to say that. | 但我知道这种话是绝不能说出口的 |
| [14:59] | You and your new rules. | 现在的这些新规矩啊 |
| [15:00] | In the old days, you could hurt anybody’s feelings. | 在过去 当爹的可以随便伤害他人感情 |
| [15:02] | Okay, I can’t even talk to him anymore. | 行吧 我跟他没话说了 |
| [15:04] | Well, I can’t talk to you either! Ah! | 我跟你也没话了 |
| [15:06] | Joe, I think you’re overreacting. | 乔 你用得着这么生气吗 |
| [15:08] | Yeah, I mean, they do these colonoscopy things all the time. | 对啊 结肠镜检查很常规的 |
| [15:11] | You know, they scare you | 电影上成天用 |
| [15:13] | with the thought of aliens probing your butt, | 外星人戳你屁股来吓唬你 |
| [15:15] | but it’s your own people you have to worry about. | 结果其实你最该担心的还是自己人 |
| [15:22] | Aw, Oreos and milk? | 奥利奥泡牛奶 |
| [15:23] | That’s your sad snack. | 这是你的抑郁小零食啊 |
| [15:26] | I’m not even pulling them apart | 我还没把饼干掰开 |
| [15:27] | and having fun with them. | 然后再好好玩一番呢 |
| [15:30] | You know, | 你知道吗 |
| [15:31] | I’m just trying to help my dad. | 我只是想帮我爸 |
| [15:33] | Would it kill him to say “Thank you”? | 狄痪湫恍荒芩缆? |
| [15:35] | Oh, honey, I think it might. | 亲爱的 我觉得说不定真能死 |
| [15:36] | Yeah. | 你说的对 |
| [15:40] | I’m not asking for much, just a little, | 我要求不高 只要他跟我说句 |
| [15:42] | “Adam, I see that you look out for me | 亚当 我知道你是关心我 |
| [15:44] | “And I appreciate that, because your older brother | 谢谢你了 因为你哥 |
| [15:46] | is a narcoleptic ape.” | 是个从早睡到晚的大猩猩 |
| [15:50] | Look, he appreciates you. | 他其实挺感激你的 |
| [15:52] | He’s just not the kind of guy that lets it out, | 他只是不说而已 |
| [15:53] | but it’s in there, deep, deep down in there. | 他把这种感情埋藏得很深 很深 |
| [15:56] | Maybe they’ll find it during the probe. | 说不定检查的时候 他们就发现了 |
| [16:03] | Look, hon, it’s always been this way with you guys. | 亲爱的 你们男人就这样 |
| [16:05] | He doesn’t like to talk about feelings, | 他不喜欢把自己的感情说出来 |
| [16:07] | you don’t like to talk about feelings. | 你也一样 |
| [16:08] | You’re both incredibly stubborn. | 你们还都非常倔 |
| [16:10] | In fact, you could say | 其实 我觉得 |
| [16:11] | that the both of you are almost exact… | 你们简直完全 |
| [16:13] | Yeah, whoa, whoa, whoa! | 行了 停 停 |
| [16:15] | Don’t say it. | 别说了 |
| [16:16] | We agreed many years ago you can’t say that. | 我们说好了不谈这个的 |
| [16:20] | I mean, what if I were to say that you and your mother are… | 我要是说你和你妈都 |
| [16:27] | Let’s just put the pins back in these grenades | 我们还是就此打住 |
| [16:30] | and walk away. | 以免造成永久性地阴影 |
| [16:49] | So your dad’s colonoscopy went very well. | 你爸的检查挺顺利的 |
| [16:52] | Oh, good. Good news. | 好 那就好 |
| [16:54] | I have seen that man eat his whole life, | 我知道我爸是个什么样的人 |
| [16:56] | and I just want to say I’m very sorry | 真抱歉 |
| [16:58] | for what you had to go through today. | 你今天要遭这样的罪 |
| [17:02] | Uh, just to warn you, | 我得提醒你一下 |
| [17:03] | he’s probably going to be a little loopy | 他可能会有点晕 |
| [17:05] | from the anesthesia. | 麻药的劲儿还没过去 |
| [17:06] | He might say some things he wouldn’t normally say. | 他可能会说一些胡话 |
| [17:10] | What, like what he’s really feeling? | 什么 比如他的感受吗 |
| [17:12] | If he’s feeling it, you’ll hear it. | 他要是真感受到了什么 一定会说的 |
| [17:14] | Sometimes it’s beautiful. | 有时他说的话还挺中听的 |
| [17:16] | Most of the time, it’s creepy. | 但在多数情况下 都很诡异 |
| [17:23] | Hey, Dr. Foxy. | 福克斯医生 |
| [17:27] | Dad, it’s Dr. Knox. | 爸 是诺克斯医生 |
| [17:28] | That’s what I said, Dr. Knockers. | 我就是这么说的 诺克斯医生[亦有乳房之意] |
| [17:34] | So how you feeling? | 你感觉如何 |
| [17:35] | Jazzy, like a jazz man. | 嗨了 像玩爵士乐的一样 |
| [17:38] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [17:39] | Okay. Yeah. | 好 |
| [17:40] | You know, when they were putting me under, | 他们给我打麻药的时候 |
| [17:42] | I got worried I’d never wake up. | 我担心我会一睡不醒 |
| [17:45] | And then I’d never see the people I love again. | 再也见不到我爱的人了 |
| [17:48] | Your mother, your brother, Andi… | 你妈妈 你哥 安迪 |
| [17:52] | …those kids… | 还有孩子们 |
| [17:54] | Yeah, and? | 还有呢 |
| [17:56] | Tony. | 托尼 |
| [17:59] | Tony? | 托尼是谁 |
| [18:00] | Yeah, Tony. I met him on the way in. | 我在医院碰到的一个人 |
| [18:05] | I love that guy. | 我爱死他了 |
| [18:13] | Ah, I just need a signature on these release papers. | 出院手续上要签个名 |
| [18:16] | Oh, he’s just getting dressed; he’ll be out in a minute. | 他在换衣服 马上就出来 |
| [18:18] | Uh, actually, these are for you. | 这是给你签的 |
| [18:20] | He put you down as his proxy. | 你是他的代理人 |
| [18:21] | – He did? – Before he went in, | -是吗 -他进去之前 |
| [18:24] | he kept saying, “Make sure Adam takes care of everything. | 一直在说 一切都交给亚当处理了 |
| [18:26] | He’s the only one I trust.” | 我只相信他 |
| [18:29] | He actually said that? | 他真这么说了吗 |
| [18:31] | B-Before the drugs? | 打麻药之前说的 |
| [18:35] | Yeah. | 对 |
| [18:37] | Well… | 行吧 |
| [18:39] | on to the next butt. | 我去检查下一个屁股了 |
| [18:52] | Hey, Dad. | 爸 |
| [18:54] | What are you grinning at? | 你在笑什么 |
| [18:58] | Nothing. | 没什么 |
| [18:59] | Come on, everyone’s home, waiting to see you. | 快走吧 大家都在家等你 |
| [19:02] | I just had a damn movie camera up my ass. | 我刚屁眼里插了个摄像头 |
| [19:04] | I’m moving as fast as I can. | 我再走不快了 |
| [19:08] | Well, if we time it right, we can finish our mall walk | 如果时间巧的话 等我们走完 |
| [19:12] | right when Cinnabon opens. | 刚好肉桂卷店就开了 |
| [19:15] | Hey, guys. | 你们好啊 |
| [19:19] | What are you doing here? | 你在这儿干什么 |
| [19:20] | Just heading down to the mall for a walk. | 去林荫路转转 |
| [19:23] | Are you guys going to the mall, too? | 你们也去林荫路吗 |
| [19:24] | That’s lucky. | 真巧了 |
| [19:26] | No, no, no, no, no, this is our thing. | 不 不 这是我们俩专属的活动 |
| [19:27] | Your thing is fighting, our thing is friends. | 你和爸吵架 我和爸是朋友 |
| [19:30] | I’m going. Mom said I could. | 总之我要去 妈妈同意了 |
| [19:33] | And you know what I have in my pocket? | 你知道我兜里揣着什么吗 |
| [19:34] | Three gift cards for Cinnabon. | 肉桂卷的三张现金抵用券 |
| [19:37] | All right, let him in. | 行 让他来吧 |
| [19:39] | And you know what I have in my other pocket? | 你知道我另一个兜里有什么吗 |
| [19:41] | Another gift card for suck it. | 吃瘪吧的抵用券 |
| [19:43] | Hey, Dad, wait up! | 爸 等等 |
| [19:50] | Yeah, Bev, we want you to be able to get around | 贝芙 我想让你能到处转 |
| [19:52] | without depending on, well, me. | 但不要总依靠 我 |
| [19:54] | Um, and we found a solution. | 我们找到了一个解决方案 |
| [19:56] | It’s a driving service called Uber. | 一个叫优步的叫车服务 |
| [19:58] | Uber? | 优步 |
| [19:59] | Sounds German. I don’t like it. | 听起来像德语 我不喜欢 |
| [20:04] | No, it’s an app on your phone. | 不是 这是个手机软件 |
| [20:06] | You press a button and a nice driver comes to you. | 你按键叫车 然后司机就来接你了 |
| [20:09] | How do they know where I am? | 他们怎么知道我在哪儿 |
| [20:10] | I don’t want the damn Germans knowing where we are! | 我可不想让德国佬知道我在哪儿 |
| [20:15] | World War Three breaks out, I’m on the list! | 第三次世界大战要爆发了 我就得去服兵役 |
| [20:18] | He’s right. | 没错 |
| [20:19] | And something’s coming. | 总感觉要有大事发生 |
| [20:20] | Things have been too good for too long. | 好事总是不能长久 |
| [20:22] | Okay, look, there’s not gonna be– you don’t have– | 听我说 不会有什么大战的 你不用 |
| [20:25] | look, even if that happens, | 就算真的大战了 |
| [20:27] | I’m pretty sure you’re way down on the list. | 你也不用去服兵役 |
| [20:30] | On the list is on the list. | 什么 凭什么不用 |
| [20:35] | I am nothing like him. | 我才不像他 |
| [20:37] | Of course not. Not at all. | 当然不像 一点不像 |
| [20:42] | Oh, jibbeda, jibbeda, jibbeda. | 看你俩那表情 |