| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:04] | There’s my sexy gardener. | 我性感的园丁 |
| [00:06] | Yeah. | 在 |
| [00:07] | I like you in those little green gloves. | 你戴绿手套真帅 |
| [00:09] | Oh, these old things? | 这破手套 |
| [00:11] | Just something I threw on. | 随便戴的而已 |
| [00:14] | I’d already be done if you let me | 要是让我用车库里的除草剂 |
| [00:15] | use that weed killer in the garage. | 这些活早就干完了 |
| [00:17] | I’m being punished just because Teddy used to– | 就因为泰迪以前 重复一遍 |
| [00:18] | and I repeat, used to– lick the shrubs. | 以前舔过灌木丛 害我遭罪 |
| [00:23] | Okay, well, everything’s looking good inside. | 好了 房子都弄好了 |
| [00:24] | The kids are cleaning their rooms, I got the laundry done. | 孩子们在打扫自己的房间 我把衣服洗好了 |
| [00:27] | Now, I just have to figure out what that smell upstairs is. | 我现在就想找出来楼上是什么那么臭 |
| [00:30] | I smelled that, too. | 我也闻到了 |
| [00:31] | I didn’t say anything because I love you, | 但因为我爱你 所以什么都没说 |
| [00:33] | and I thought it was you. | 我以为是你的体味 |
| [00:39] | That came from Teddy’s window. | 从泰迪的窗户里出来的 |
| [00:43] | It’s like a Dumpster back here. | 这里简直成了垃圾桶 |
| [00:46] | Well, now we know how he cleans his room. | 我们算知道他是怎么打扫房间的了 |
| [00:50] | And where the Funyuns went. | 也知道洋葱圈都被谁吃了 |
| [00:53] | I’m sorry I blamed you. | 对不起 怪错你了 |
| [00:57] | Throwing trash out the window? | 把垃圾扔出窗外 |
| [00:58] | He gets that from your side of the family. | 肯定是遗传你们家的 |
| [01:02] | Don’t overreact. | 反应别这么大 |
| [01:03] | I am not overreacting. | 我不是反应大 |
| [01:05] | I am reacting. | 我只是在反应 |
| [01:06] | Okay, but-but you got to admit, for the most part, | 好的 不过你得承认 多数时间来说 |
| [01:09] | our-our kids are pretty darn adequate. | 我们的孩子算得上差强人意 |
| [01:14] | I mean, they brush their teeth. | 起码他们会刷牙 |
| [01:16] | Emme doesn’t. | 艾米不刷 |
| [01:17] | They-they do well in school. | 书读得都很好 |
| [01:17] | Teddy doesn’t. | 泰迪不好 |
| [01:20] | They still hug us. | 他们还会抱我们 |
| [01:21] | Katie doesn’t. | 凯蒂不抱 |
| [01:24] | Okay, well, Kate puts “XO” At the end of her texts. | 可凯蒂会在短信结尾写XO |
| [01:26] | That’s a kiss and a hug. | 这就是亲亲和抱抱 |
| [01:29] | Yeah. To a robot. | 对 跟机器说 |
| [01:31] | Okay, look. Look-look– wait, wait, wait, wait. | 听着 等一下 |
| [01:33] | My-my parenting book says | 我看的育儿书上说 |
| [01:35] | that the most effective form of discipline | 最有效的管孩子方法 |
| [01:37] | if often just listening. | 通常是只是倾听 |
| [01:39] | Mm-hmm. I hate that book. | 我讨厌那本书 |
| [01:42] | Okay? I’ve hated it ever since it said | 从它让我们自己给婴儿做辅食的时候 |
| [01:43] | we should make our own baby food. | 我就讨厌它了 |
| [01:46] | Please, please, just this once, can we do it my way? | 求求你了 就这一次 按我的方法来 |
| [01:50] | Your way is to just yell. | 可你的方法就是吼 |
| [01:51] | Yeah. And thanks to my dad, I’m really good at it. | 对 多谢我老爸 让我非常擅长吼 |
| [01:56] | Look, I think that we should stick with my way, | 我觉得还是按我的方法来 |
| [01:57] | the book’s way. | 按书上的方法 |
| [01:59] | Let’s just hear teddy’s side of the story. | 我们听听泰迪是怎么想的 |
| [02:01] | You always want to hear the kids’ side. | 你总想听孩子们怎么想 |
| [02:04] | I could tell you right now: | 我现在就能告诉你 |
| [02:05] | their side is they’re lazy boneheads. | 他们就是懒骨头 |
| [02:08] | I’m just saying that there might be a problem | 我只是说 也许问题的背后 |
| [02:11] | behind the problem. | 还有问题 |
| [02:12] | Okay, the problem is they’re lazy. | 好的 问题就是他们懒 |
| [02:15] | The problem behind the problem is they’re boneheads. | 问题背后的问题就是 他们是懒骨头 |
| [02:21] | Teddy, why would you dump trash out the window? | 泰迪 为什么把垃圾扔到窗外去 |
| [02:25] | Why do you put the caps from your beer bottles | 你为什么把啤酒瓶盖 |
| [02:26] | behind the couch pillow? | 放到沙发靠垫后面 |
| [02:28] | I just… | 我只是 |
| [02:30] | I get sleepy. | 我当时困了 |
| [02:34] | You smell that? | 你闻到没有 |
| [02:36] | Is that the smell? | 是不是这个味儿 |
| [02:39] | I think that’s just boy. | 我以为男孩都这个味 |
| [02:42] | You know, you get an allowance to keep your room clean. | 你领零花钱的条件就是保持房间整洁 |
| [02:44] | And that includes taking your trash outside. | 其中包括把垃圾拿到外面去 |
| [02:47] | My room is clean, and the trash is outside. | 我的房间很干净 垃圾在外面 |
| [02:53] | Can I overreact now? | 我现在可以反应大了吗 |
| [02:56] | Before you pop a vein, | 在你血管爆掉之前 |
| [02:57] | you might want to see what’s in Emme’s closet. | 可以去看看的艾米的衣柜 |
| [03:02] | Hi, Emme, we just need to check your closet real quick. | 艾米 过来看看你的衣柜 很快 |
| [03:05] | You smell that? | 你闻到了吗 |
| [03:06] | Is that the smell? | 是这股味吗 |
| [03:08] | It’s at least part of the smell. | 算是其中的组成部分 |
| [03:12] | It hits you right in the face. | 扑面而来 |
| [03:14] | I think we just found the house’s butt. | 我们好像找到了房子屁股的所在 |
| [03:18] | Emme, what is in your shoe organizer? | 艾米 你的鞋子整理袋是什么 |
| [03:21] | Is that broccoli? | 这是西蓝花吗 |
| [03:24] | Yes, it is. | 对 是的 |
| [03:27] | I put it in there so you think I ate it. | 我藏起来 你们就以为我吃掉了 |
| [03:30] | Honey, keeping your room clean and eating your broccoli | 亲爱的 保持房间整洁 乖乖吃西蓝花 |
| [03:33] | are the two things you’re supposed to do for your allowance. | 这两样做好才能领零花钱 |
| [03:36] | I don’t like broccoli. | 我不喜欢西蓝花 |
| [03:38] | You make me eat it, this is what happens. | 你们逼我吃 这就是下场 |
| [03:43] | This is very, very bad, Emme. | 这非常非常糟糕 艾米 |
| [03:45] | It’s not as bad as what’s in Kate’s room. | 没有凯蒂的房间糟糕 |
| [03:50] | Well, I say we board that closet up | 我们应该把衣柜当地狱入口一样封起来 |
| [03:52] | like a portal to hell and never speak of this again. | 然后永远不再提起 |
| [03:55] | How did we not know about this sooner? | 我们怎么会现在才知道 |
| [03:57] | Well, we don’t go in there that much. | 我们不经常去孩子的房间 |
| [03:59] | Look, the kids get an allowance to keep their rooms clean. | 孩子领零花钱 保持房间整洁 |
| [04:02] | The book says it’s supposed to foster responsibility. | 书上说这会培养他们的责任心 |
| [04:04] | The only thing it’s fostering is botulism. | 只培养出了病毒病菌 |
| [04:07] | Stop listening to that book. | 不要再按书上说的做了 |
| [04:10] | You agreed it had good ideas. | 你同意书上写的对啊 |
| [04:12] | I only agreed because you asked me when we were in bed, | 我会同意的唯一理由 是当时我们在床上 |
| [04:13] | and I wanted to fool around. | 而我正想跟你亲热 |
| [04:16] | Yeah, that’s how I get you to agree to things. | 对 这就是我摆布你的方法 |
| [04:18] | That’s your allowance. | 也是你的零花钱 |
| [04:20] | You’re no fool. Hmm. | 你可真聪明 |
| [04:22] | Well, all right. Let’s see what’s behind door number three. | 好了 我们看看三号门后是什么吧 |
| [04:30] | Looks okay to me. | 我感觉还好 |
| [04:31] | Wait. | 等等 |
| [04:32] | I smell more smell. | 我闻到臭味了 |
| [04:34] | A lot more smell. | 太臭了 |
| [04:39] | It’s not me. | 又不是我 |
| [04:43] | No, it’s not me. | 肯定不是我 |
| [04:47] | The bed’s wet. | 床是湿的 |
| [04:49] | Katie’s a bed wetter? | 凯蒂尿床吗 |
| [04:50] | That means therapy. That’ll cost a fortune. | 治这个毛病 要花很多钱的 |
| [04:55] | Smell the bedspread and see. | 闻闻床罩 看一下 |
| [04:57] | Uh, you smell it. | 你去闻 |
| [04:59] | Just, go-go and check and see what’s under there. | 你快去看看下面有什么 |
| [05:06] | Oh, it’s old, moldy towels. | 是脏兮兮发霉了的毛巾 |
| [05:09] | Yep, that’s the smell. | 对 就是这股味 |
| [05:10] | That’s the rest of the smell. | 找出其他臭味的来源了 |
| [05:13] | Ooh, check this one out. | 看看这条毛巾 |
| [05:15] | That’s the queen of the hive. | 这就是万臭之源 |
| [05:20] | What are you doing? | 你们在干嘛 |
| [05:21] | Right now? Wondering where it all went wrong. | 现在吗 在想到底哪里出了问题 |
| [05:25] | Why are your old, wet shower towels | 你的床尾为什么有那么多 |
| [05:26] | at the bottom of your bed? | 脏兮兮的湿毛巾 |
| [05:28] | Every night, I get in bed with a towel on my hair. | 每天晚上我上床的时候头发上都围着毛巾 |
| [05:30] | Eventually, it falls off, and I just kick it to the bottom. | 可总是掉下来 然后我就踢到床尾 |
| [05:33] | And you never change your sheets? | 你从来不换床单的吗 |
| [05:35] | I thought you just changed them every seven years. | 我以为要七年换一次 |
| [05:38] | That’s the mattress, Kate. | 那是床垫 凯蒂 |
| [05:40] | Look, we give you an allowance to keep your room clean. | 听着 给你们零花钱 是让你们保持房间整洁的 |
| [05:43] | Well, now we know where all our towels went. | 现在知道我们家毛巾都哪去了 |
| [05:45] | This morning, I had to dry off | 今天早晨我像狗一样 |
| [05:46] | by running around the house like a dog. | 来回疯跑才风干身体 |
| [05:49] | I mean, how can you not smell that? | 你怎么都闻不到呢 |
| [05:51] | I smell it. | 我闻到了 |
| [05:53] | I’m just used to it. | 只是习惯了而已 |
| [05:54] | Got good to me. | 我挺喜欢的 |
| [05:57] | Well, at least I won’t have to pay for a wedding. | 嫁不出去 我省了婚礼的钱 |
| [06:01] | Look, I’m not the only one doing stuff. | 听着 不是我一个人这样 |
| [06:04] | Do you know what Teddy does with his trash? | 你们知道泰迪怎么处理垃圾的吗 |
| [06:05] | Yes, we do. | 我们知道 |
| [06:06] | – How about Emme’s closet? – Seen it all. | – 那艾米的衣柜呢 -都看过； |
| [06:08] | Dad’s beer caps? | 老爸的啤酒瓶盖 |
| [06:10] | You’re not getting out of this, Katie. | 你逃不掉的 凯蒂 |
| [06:27] | Seriously? | 不是吧 |
| [06:28] | The parenting book again? | 又看育儿书 |
| [06:30] | Is the last chapter just a picture of the author | 最后一章是不是作者坐在钱堆上 |
| [06:32] | sitting on a pile of money, laughing at us? | 嘲笑我们的照片 |
| [06:35] | She’s a renowned childcare expert. | 她是著名的育儿专家 |
| [06:38] | Hey– wait, wait, listen to this. | 等一下 你听着 |
| [06:40] | “About the Author. | 作者简介 |
| [06:42] | “Nancy is… single, | 南希目前单身 |
| [06:44] | and lives in Maine with her beloved parakeet.” | 和她喜爱的长尾小鹦鹉住在缅因州 |
| [06:46] | What? | 什么 |
| [06:49] | Wait, she doesn’t even have kids? | 她没有孩子吗 |
| [06:51] | That’s why she doesn’t know you can buy baby food at the store. | 所以她才不知道婴儿辅食可以在商店买 |
| [06:55] | I liquefied a perfectly good salmon thanks to her. | 因为她 我掌握了把三文鱼打成泥的技能 |
| [06:58] | I can’t believe this. | 我不敢相信 |
| [06:59] | I mean, uh, for 14 years, this has been, like, | 着十四年来 我把它奉为 |
| [07:01] | my-my parenting bible. | 我的育儿圣经 |
| [07:05] | I hope her bird flies into a ceiling fan. | 祝福她的鸟被吊扇亲密接触 |
| [07:08] | You know what? | 决定了 |
| [07:10] | You’re in charge now. Yeah. | 现在由你负责 没错 |
| [07:12] | Let’s go Full Metal Jacket. | 我们上演《全金属外壳》 |
| [07:13] | Yeah? | 真的吗 |
| [07:14] | That’s what I’m talking about. | 这样才带劲嘛 |
| [07:16] | It’s time to drop an Adam bomb. | 亚当炸弹该出场了 |
| [07:19] | Get it? ‘Cause my name’s Adam? | 你懂没 我叫亚当 |
| [07:20] | Yeah, no. I got it. | 我懂的 |
| [07:21] | Yeah. Oh, I’ve been wanting to use that for so long. | 这个哏我等了好久 终于用上了 |
| [07:24] | Come on. | 走吧 |
| [07:27] | All right. Listen up. | 好了 都听好了 |
| [07:28] | There’s gonna be some changes around here. | 现在要做一些改变 |
| [07:31] | Yeah. You’re supposed to handle your rooms, | 本来是让你们管好自己的房间 |
| [07:32] | we handle everything else. | 其他的有我们负责 |
| [07:33] | But you blew it, so now, you get this. | 这你们也能搞砸 现在听好了 |
| [07:37] | It’s all you, A-Bomb. | 全交给你了 大炸弹 |
| [07:41] | All right. | 好的 |
| [07:42] | From now on, if you don’t do your chores, | 从现在开始 不做家务 |
| [07:45] | you don’t get your allowance. | 就不给零花钱 |
| [07:46] | Not one cent. | 一分都没有 |
| [07:53] | That was a bomb noise, kids. | 炸弹就是这个动静 孩子们 |
| [07:56] | Which means you can’t go the mall and buy yo-yos | 你们就没办法去商场买悠悠球 |
| [07:59] | and slingshots and blacklight posters. | 买不了弹弓和黑光海报了 |
| [08:04] | I haven’t been to a mall in a while. | 我很久没去过商场了 |
| [08:08] | We’d like a moment to discuss. | 我们要单独讨论一下 |
| [08:10] | What? What are you talk– what do you mean? | 什么 说什么 什么意思 |
| [08:11] | There’s no discussing. | 没有讨论的余地 |
| [08:14] | You just got flattened by a bomb! | 你们刚刚被炸弹炸了 |
| [08:17] | Okay. Here’s what we do: nothing. | 听我的 我们什么都不要做 |
| [08:19] | If we give in now, our free ride is over. | 如果现在投降 以后就没有便宜占了 |
| [08:21] | But won’t they get mad? | 他们不会生气吗 |
| [08:24] | Look, you. | 你听好 |
| [08:26] | I’ve been lowering their expectations for years. | 我花了很多年让他们降低标准 |
| [08:30] | I will not let you mess it up for me. | 绝对不能让你给我搞砸 |
| [08:33] | Capisce? | 明不明 |
| [08:35] | What does that mean? | 那是什么意思 |
| [08:38] | “Understand”? | 明白吗 |
| [08:40] | How can I understand if you won’t tell me what it means? | 你不告诉我它是什么意思 我怎么明白 |
| [08:44] | Teddy, just do what she says. | 泰迪 按她说得做就行了 |
| [08:50] | So, we’ve discussed your offer. | 我们就你们的提议讨论好了 |
| [08:52] | Take it or leave it. | 要么接受 要么拒绝 |
| [08:54] | We’ve decided to leave it. | 我们决定拒绝 |
| [08:55] | What? No, there’s no leaving it. You have to take it. | 什么 不 不能拒绝 你们必须接受 |
| [08:58] | Look, we know you love us too much to stop giving us money. | 你们很爱我们 肯定不忍心不给我们钱 |
| [09:03] | You’re good people. | 你们是好人 |
| [09:06] | Nuh-uh. | 不是 |
| [09:09] | We do– do good people watch Breaking Bad? Hmm? | 好人会看《绝命毒师》吗 |
| [09:13] | Yeah. ‘Cause we watched one. | 没错 我们看过一集 |
| [09:18] | It’s a gamble we’re willing to take. | 我们决定放手一搏 |
| [09:21] | So, we’re going on strike. | 我们决定罢工 |
| [09:23] | Capisce? | 明不明 |
| [09:29] | Did he just capisce me? | 他刚刚在问我明不明 |
| [09:36] | Nothing. | 毫无反应 |
| [09:40] | You took away their allowance | 你断了他们的零花钱 |
| [09:41] | and they still won’t do their chores? | 他们还是不肯做家务 |
| [09:43] | Yeah. | 对 |
| [09:44] | So guess who had to make their beds | 你猜害谁不得不 |
| [09:45] | and take out their trash? | 给他们铺床倒垃圾 |
| [09:46] | Andi. | 安迪 |
| [09:49] | And that put her in a bad mood, | 搞得她心情很不好 |
| [09:50] | which put me in a bad mood. | 连带我的心情也不好 |
| [09:53] | I guess now’s not the time to tell you | 看来现在这个时候不适合告诉你 |
| [09:54] | I lightly rear-ended you when I was parking this morning. | 早上我停车的时候把你的车小小地追尾了 |
| [09:59] | No, it’s not. | 对 不是时候 |
| [10:01] | Okay. We’ll put a pin in it. | 行 我们换个时间聊 |
| [10:04] | Kids are terrible at chores anyway. | 反正孩子也干不好家务 |
| [10:07] | Little hands can’t fold towels the way I like. | 手太小 叠不出我想要的毛巾 |
| [10:09] | It’s fold, fold, flipsy, flopsy. | 应该是折 再折 翻过去 翻回来 |
| [10:11] | That’s a man’s job. | 这是男人的活 |
| [10:14] | It’s a symptom of a bigger problem. | 这是一个大问题的征兆 |
| [10:16] | We’ve lost our authority. | 我们失去了权威性 |
| [10:18] | When we were kids, our parents had the power. | 我小时候 听家长的 |
| [10:21] | But now that we’re parents, the kids have the power. | 现在我们是家长了 还要听孩子的 |
| [10:23] | We’ve never had the power. | 从来没人听我们的 |
| [10:27] | I think it all started with sugary cereal. | 我觉得这一切是从甜麦片开始的 |
| [10:30] | All we got for breakfast was plain oatmeal. | 我们以前的早餐都是原味燕麦 |
| [10:32] | You know? That put you in your place. | 这样就给你定位了 |
| [10:34] | You were barely more important than a horse. | 你比马重要不了多少 |
| [10:36] | Yeah, yeah. You know what we never heard from Dad | 没错没错 我小时候 |
| [10:38] | when we were kids? | 爸爸从来不会说 |
| [10:40] | “How do you feel?” Yeah. | 你感觉怎么样 对不对 |
| [10:42] | I heard, “How does that feel?” Yeah. | 我只听他说过 这一下感觉如何 |
| [10:44] | And, “You’re gonna feel that for a while.” | 以后还有你好受的 |
| [10:46] | Yeah, yeah. I remember that. | 对 我还记得 |
| [10:48] | I’m starting to think it didn’t hurt him more than it hurt us. | 我开始觉得并不是打在儿身痛在爹心了 |
| [10:52] | I just, I-I don’t know how to get through to these kids. | 我不懂要怎么管好这些孩子 |
| [10:55] | You should talk to Dad. | 你应该找咱爸聊聊 |
| [10:56] | He’s always had the power. | 他说话别人都听 |
| [10:58] | He’s the reason I don’t stick up for myself | 因为他 我才不会为自己出头 |
| [10:59] | and I’m grateful for that. | 我很感激他 |
| [11:01] | Yes, Dad. Yeah. | 对 找老爸 |
| [11:03] | That man ruled with an iron fist | 那个男人 就算躺在躺椅上 |
| [11:05] | from the comfort of his Barcalounger. | 都可以用铁拳统治 |
| [11:08] | All he had to say was, | 他只需要说一句 |
| [11:09] | “Don’t make me get up,” And we never did. | 别逼我站起来 我们从来不敢让他站起来 |
| [11:13] | He’ll get those kids in line. | 他可以管好那些孩子 |
| [11:14] | You guys are really getting me fired up. | 我被你们激励了 |
| [11:16] | I’m sick of my kids running my house. | 我也受不了孩子们在家里乱跑 |
| [11:18] | I’m not gonna put up with it anymore. | 我再也不忍了 |
| [11:20] | Tonight, I’m gonna ask them for more power. | 今晚 我就让他们多听听我的话 |
| [11:27] | Dad, uh, we need to talk to you | 爸爸 我们要跟你聊一聊 |
| [11:28] | about a situation we’re having. | 我们现在的问题 |
| [11:31] | Take a bath together. | 一起洗鸳鸯浴 |
| [11:32] | That spiced it up for me and your mom. | 我跟你妈妈用这招就很好 |
| [11:37] | That’s gonna stick with me. | 在脑海挥之不去了 |
| [11:40] | Uh, n-no, no, Dad. | 不是的 爸爸 |
| [11:42] | That’s not the problem, | 不是这个问题 |
| [11:43] | but we should do that. | 不过我们可以试试 |
| [11:46] | Hey, there’s my Teddy Bear. | 我的宝贝泰迪熊 |
| [11:48] | Hey, Grandpa. Huh? | 爷爷 |
| [11:50] | You couldn’t spare a few dollars | 你能不能给这个 |
| [11:51] | for a guy who’s down on his luck, could you? | 倒霉的可怜人赏几元钱呢 |
| [11:55] | Teddy, you want your allowance, | 泰迪 想要零花钱 |
| [11:57] | take out the trash. | 自己倒垃圾 |
| [11:59] | Nah, I’ll let you do it. | 不 我会让你替我倒 |
| [12:03] | You see that right there? That’s the problem. | 你看到了吗 问题就是这个 |
| [12:05] | If you’d talked to me like that when you were a kid, | 你小时候要是敢这么跟我讲话 |
| [12:07] | I would’ve taken the trash out with you in it. | 我会把你和垃圾一起倒出去 |
| [12:10] | Yeah, well, it’s not just Teddy. It’s all of them. | 不仅仅是泰迪 全都这样 |
| [12:13] | There are ways to make kids do what you want. | 有很多方法让孩子按你说的做 |
| [12:15] | Yeah, but, Dad, your ways aren’t legal anymore. | 对 但你的方法现在都不合法了 爸爸 |
| [12:20] | That was only one tool in the toolbox. | 除此之外 方法多如牛毛 |
| [12:23] | You two have a structural problem. | 你们俩有根本问题 |
| [12:25] | You’re too soft on them. | 对他们太柔了 |
| [12:26] | Yeah. You-You’re always asking them how they feel. | 总是会问他们 感觉如何 |
| [12:33] | You have to make them fear the consequences | 一定要让他们知道 不做家务的后果 |
| [12:35] | of not doing their chores. | 有多么可怕 |
| [12:37] | You can’t be afraid to ruin their lives a little. | 就算稍稍毁掉他们的生活也不要紧 |
| [12:41] | Remember when you wouldn’t make your bed? | 记得以前你不叠被的时候 |
| [12:43] | What did I do? | 我是怎么做的吗 |
| [12:44] | You took my bed. | 没收我的床 |
| [12:46] | You didn’t. | 不是吧 |
| [12:47] | I damn well did. | 绝对是的 |
| [12:50] | But he makes his bed now, doesn’t he, huh? | 他现在叠被了吧 对不对 |
| [12:52] | Yeah, huh? You’re welcome. | 对不对 不用谢我了 |
| [12:56] | He’s right, he’s right. | 他说得对 |
| [12:57] | We need to up our game | 我们需要强硬一点 |
| [12:58] | and make their lives a little less comfortable. | 别让他们过得那么舒服 |
| [13:01] | This is how we get the power back. | 这样他们才能听我们的话 |
| [13:03] | I just, I don’t want them to be unhappy. | 我不希望他们不开心 |
| [13:05] | Don’t worry about that. | 不要担心 |
| [13:06] | Unhappy children is how you know you’re doing a good job. | 孩子怨气十足 才说明你这个家长称职 |
| [13:13] | Good morning. | 早上好 |
| [13:14] | Your mother and I have realized that we made a mistake | 我和妈妈意识到 在做家务的问题上 |
| [13:17] | with this whole chore situation. | 我们犯了个错误 |
| [13:20] | Told ya. | 我就说吧 |
| [13:23] | We’ve been too soft on you. | 对你们太客气了 |
| [13:28] | Yeah, we’ve been thinking about this, uh, strike of yours | 觉得你们罢工这个主意 |
| [13:31] | and it’s actually a great idea. | 非常不错 |
| [13:33] | So until you agree to start pulling your weight around here, | 所以在你们同意开始干活之前 |
| [13:36] | we’re going on strike. | 我们也罢工了 |
| [13:39] | That’s right. | 没错 |
| [13:40] | Instead of us doing all the work, | 所有的家务我们都不做了 |
| [13:42] | you’re gonna do it, | 你们来做 |
| [13:43] | and we’re gonna do nothing. | 我们 什么都不做 |
| [13:46] | You’re gonna do the dishes, the laundry, | 你们得洗盘子 洗衣服 |
| [13:48] | keep the kitchen clean and, and… | 清扫厨房 而且 而且哦 |
| [13:52] | you’re gonna do it all for free. | 你们一分钱都拿不到 |
| [13:57] | We trusted you. | 我们信错你了 |
| [14:01] | And that allowance money that you’re not getting, | 本来打算给你们的零花钱 |
| [14:04] | we’re gonna use it to buy ice cream | 我们会用来买冰淇淋 |
| [14:05] | and then eat it in front of you. Mm-hmm. | 还要当着你们的面吃 |
| [14:08] | And we’re gonna get all those goofy flavors you like and we hate | 会买我们讨厌 但你们喜欢的奇怪味道 |
| [14:11] | just to make it harder for you to watch. | 就是要气你们 |
| [14:14] | Oh, and I almost forgot. | 我差点忘了 |
| [14:17] | Here’s your breakfast. | 你们的早餐 |
| [14:20] | Enjoy your oatmeal. | 享受燕麦的味道吧 |
| [14:23] | That’s right. We’ll be in the tub. | 没错 我们去泡澡了 |
| [14:39] | We’ve only been on strike three days | 我们才罢工三天 |
| [14:40] | and it looks like… somebody took our house | 家里就像被人当雪球一样 |
| [14:43] | and shook it like a snow globe. | 摇晃个乱七八糟 |
| [14:49] | Yeah, there’s no place to sit. | 都没地方坐了 |
| [14:51] | Sitting’s our favorite thing. | 我们最喜欢坐着了 |
| [14:53] | Yeah, but think about it. | 不过你想想 |
| [14:55] | If it’s getting to us, it’s got to be getting to them. | 如果我们觉得烦 他们也会看着难受的 |
| [14:57] | Ooh, ooh, here they come. | 他们回来了 |
| [14:58] | Okay, let’s close this deal. | 我们该收割成果了 |
| [15:03] | Hey, guys. | 孩子们 |
| [15:05] | How was riding the nasty old school bus? | 坐脏兮兮的校车回家感觉如何 |
| [15:07] | Yeah, we’re on strike. | 我们罢工呢 |
| [15:08] | We don’t pick you up. That’s rough. | 不会去接你们的 很痛苦吧 |
| [15:12] | The bus is awesome. I sat next to an older kid | 校车太棒了 我旁边坐了个大孩子 |
| [15:13] | who taught me about the dark web. | 给我讲了暗网是什么 |
| [15:18] | You guys are really okay with this mess? | 你们真的能忍受这么乱吗 |
| [15:20] | Yeah, I mean, this place | 看这个家 |
| [15:21] | looks like the morning after Burning Man. | 像火人节第二天早上一样 一片狼藉 |
| [15:25] | Doesn’t bother us if it doesn’t bother you. | 你们不介意 我们更不介意 |
| [15:32] | Oh, it doesn’t bother us. | 我们不介意 |
| [15:34] | No, no, no. | 完全不 |
| [15:36] | You wish it bothered us! | 你们巴不得我们介意呢 |
| [15:38] | It bothers me so much, Andi! | 我介意到不行 安迪 |
| [15:40] | I-I can’t take it anymore. | 我真是受不了了 |
| [15:43] | What are you talking about? | 你在说什么 |
| [15:44] | It’s gross in here! | 这里太恶心了 |
| [15:46] | Those lunch boxes have not been emptied since tuna fish day. | 那些午餐盒 从金枪鱼日以后就没洗过 |
| [15:51] | Tuna fish, Andi! | 金枪鱼啊 安迪 |
| [15:53] | Sitting right under the heating vent. | 就放在暖气管道上 |
| [15:55] | If whatever that grows into learns how to open the lid, | 如果里面养出的东西学会开盖子了 |
| [15:57] | it’s gonna kill us in our sleep. | 都能趁我们睡觉把我们全杀了 |
| [16:01] | Wait-wait a minute, wait a minute. | 等一下 等一下 |
| [16:02] | You got me into this. You can’t give up. | 是你让我这么做的 你不能放弃啊 |
| [16:04] | Why not? I never get to give up. | 为什么不能 我从来没放弃过 |
| [16:07] | It looks fun. I want to try it. | 看起来很有趣 我想试试 |
| [16:10] | How about let’s both do it, huh? | 我们一起放弃怎么样 |
| [16:12] | You’re always saying you want to do more stuff together. | 你不是总说 想和我一起做点什么吗 |
| [16:15] | Come on. Think of all the battles that we’ve quit on. | 你想一想我们放弃过的战争 好不好 |
| [16:18] | All right? The-the bedtime battle, | 睡觉时间之战 |
| [16:20] | the-the junk food battle, | 垃圾食品之战 |
| [16:21] | the flushing the toilet battle. | 冲厕所之战 |
| [16:24] | We were all losers that day. | 那天我们两败俱伤 |
| [16:27] | And all because we never stick with it. | 全都因为我们没有坚持下去 |
| [16:29] | This is where we draw the line, | 现在就是我们划清底线的时刻 |
| [16:31] | just like that line that Teddy drew on the wall | 就像那条泰迪在墙上画的线 |
| [16:33] | that we never punished him for. | 我们都没有罚过他 |
| [16:36] | I painted over it, but I can still see it | 我是刷漆盖住了 可太阳一照 |
| [16:38] | when the sun hits it right. | 我还是能看见它透出来 |
| [16:39] | God, it makes me crazy! | 老天爷 逼死我了 |
| [16:41] | Yes, yes. Use that anger. | 很好很好 记住这份愤怒 |
| [16:43] | Embrace the dark side. | 拥抱黑暗面吧 |
| [16:44] | Okay. Okay, we’ll stick it out. | 好的 我们坚持下去 |
| [16:46] | And when it works, I’m gonna write my own parenting book | 等有成效了 我要写本自己的育儿书 |
| [16:48] | and call it Take That, Bonehead! | 书名就叫《接招吧 懒骨头》 |
| [16:50] | By Adam “A-Bomb” Burns! | 作者 亚当·大炸弹·伯恩斯 |
| [16:55] | I need to sit down. | 坐下歇会儿 |
| [17:08] | Adam, did you hear that? | 亚当 你听到了吗 |
| [17:11] | Adam? | 亚当 |
| [17:30] | Adam! | 亚当 |
| [17:32] | It’s not what you think. | 不是你想的那样 |
| [17:33] | I’m, uh, I’m having an affair. | 我只是在偷情 |
| [17:40] | You broke the strike. | 你罢工失败了 |
| [17:41] | You-you surrendered. | 你投降了 |
| [17:43] | You’re-you’re like a, like a, | 你 你就像一个 一个 |
| [17:45] | like a Frenchman. | 法国人 |
| [17:47] | I can’t live like this anymore. | 我再也受不了 |
| [17:49] | We got flies, Andi. | 家里都有苍蝇了 安迪 |
| [17:51] | And I’m pretty sure something in the bottom of the sink | 我肯定刚刚水池底下有东西 |
| [17:53] | just grabbed my hand. | 抓了我的手一下 |
| [17:56] | I am so disappointed in you. | 我对你太失望了 |
| [17:58] | Oh, come on. Don’t do that. | 拜托 不要这样 |
| [18:00] | It’s just, I got… | 我只是 |
| [18:02] | Wait a minute. What are those? | 等一下 那是什么 |
| [18:05] | Who washed the kids’ lunch boxes? | 谁把孩子们的午餐盒洗了 |
| [18:09] | Guess the kids did. We won. | 看来是孩子们洗的 我们赢了 |
| [18:11] | Let’s go back to bed. | 我们回去睡觉吧 |
| [18:13] | Not so fast, Jean-Pierre. | 别着急 法国佬 |
| [18:16] | All right, you caught me. | 好吧 被你识破了 |
| [18:19] | Let’s do your thing and give up, huh? | 我们就按你说的投降吧 |
| [18:21] | – We can, we can give up together in the tub. – No. | -我们可以一起在浴缸里投降 -不 |
| [18:23] | No. The tub is for winners. | 不 浴缸是给胜利者享用的 |
| [18:29] | Look at us. | 瞧瞧我们 |
| [18:30] | We went on strike to make the mess the kids’ problem | 我们罢工是为了让孩子认识问题 |
| [18:32] | and we ended up just punishing ourselves. | 结果却变成我们的惩罚 |
| [18:34] | Well, you’re right. | 你说得对 |
| [18:35] | I mean, at this point, | 现在这个情形 |
| [18:37] | their rooms are probably the cleanest ones in the house. | 恐怕他们的房间是家里最干净的地方了 |
| [18:43] | You know what? They are. | 说的没错 是这样 |
| [18:47] | And we are finally gonna make this mess their problem | 我们终于可以让他们认识错误了 |
| [18:49] | because I just got an idea. | 我想到办法了 |
| [18:53] | Okay, babe, everyone’s home from their playdates. | 宝贝 接孩子们回来了 |
| [18:57] | – Hey, hey, look how clean it is in here. – I see it. | -看家里多干净 -我看到了 |
| [18:59] | Stick with me, kid. | 跟紧我 小孩 |
| [19:01] | That’s right. We cleaned up. | 没错 我们打扫了 |
| [19:03] | You got us. | 你们赢了 |
| [19:05] | Oh, here we go. | 开始了 |
| [19:06] | Good luck. | 祝你好运 |
| [19:08] | See you on the other side. | 暴风雨后再见面了 |
| [19:19] | Oh, my God! | 我的天啊 |
| [19:20] | – What happened? – Somebody help! | -怎么回事 -救命啊 |
| [19:24] | That is the sweet sound of victory. | 胜利的声音如此美妙 |
| [19:36] | I did all the laundry. | 我把衣服都洗好了 |
| [19:38] | I took out all the trash. | 我把垃圾都倒出去了 |
| [19:41] | I broke a plate and didn’t have to do anything after that. | 我打碎了个盘子 后来就什么都不让我做了 |
| [19:46] | And what I’m hearing is you surrender. | 我听到的是你们投降的声音 |
| [19:48] | Pretty much. | 差不多 |
| [19:50] | Say it. | 说出来 |
| [19:53] | We surrender. | 我们投降 |
| [19:57] | All right, then the strike is over. | 好的 罢工结束 |
| [19:59] | We do our work. You do your work. | 我们做我们活 你们把自己事做好 |
| [20:02] | Everybody gets along. | 大家和平相处 |
| [20:04] | You win. | 你们赢了 |
| [20:05] | We’re not very happy. | 我们一脸怨气 |
| [20:08] | And that’s how we know we’re doing a good job. | 这样我才知道自己是称职的家长 |
| [20:18] | Okay. | 好了 |
| [20:20] | After I take out the kids’ trash, I’ll make their beds. | 等我把孩子们的垃圾倒了以后 再给他们叠被 |
| [20:23] | Okay. And, uh, I’ll pick up their toys | 好 一会儿我收拾好他们的玩具 |
| [20:27] | and start vacuuming their rooms. | 再把他们房间的地吸一遍 |
| [20:34] | What the hell happened? | 到底发生了什么 |
| [20:39] | Call your dad! | 找爸爸 |
| [20:42] | I’m on it. | 马上就去 |