| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:03] | Come on, guys, we’re gonna be late for school. | 走了 孩子们 上学要迟到了 |
| [00:05] | We don’t have school. | 今天不上学 |
| [00:06] | No, no, no, I’m not falling for that again. | 不 我不会再被这句话骗到了 |
| [00:10] | No, it’s for real. It’s Teacher Reading Day. | 不 是真的 今天是教师阅读日 |
| [00:12] | They sent home a note. | 他们给家里发了通知 |
| [00:14] | What note? I didn’t see any note. | 什么通知 我没看到通知啊 |
| [00:17] | Teddy, did you start eating paper again? | 泰迪 你又开始偷吃纸了吗 |
| [00:20] | Well, I found the note. | 我找到通知了 |
| [00:22] | And the upstairs remote. Teddy! | 还有楼上的遥控器 泰迪 |
| [00:27] | We both have to work. What are we gonna do? | 我们都得上班 怎么办 |
| [00:29] | Katie can babysit. | 可以让凯蒂照顾 |
| [00:31] | Yes! I knew there was a reason we had three. | 太好了 我就知道我们生三个是有原因的 |
| [00:32] | Yeah. | 没错 |
| [00:34] | Sorry, no day off for high school. | 抱歉 高中不放假 |
| [00:36] | You know, I can’t wait to go to college | 我简直等不及要上大学 |
| [00:37] | and skip class all the time. | 然后一直逃课 |
| [00:42] | She’s gonna be trouble. | 她长大了绝对很麻烦 |
| [00:47] | You know, the teachers are there. | 其实 反正老师在学校 |
| [00:50] | What if we just drop these two at school | 不然我们直接把他们俩送去 |
| [00:52] | and act like we didn’t know? | 假装什么都不知道 |
| [00:54] | The trick is to drive away fast. | 关键在于要迅速逃离现场 |
| [00:57] | I have an idea. | 我有个办法 |
| [01:00] | You guys are going to work with Daddy today! | 你们今天要跟爸爸去上班啦 |
| [01:03] | Yay! | 太好啦 |
| [01:04] | No, no yay. | 什么就太好了 |
| [01:06] | No, I can’t take them. I have to work. | 我不能带他们去 我得工作 |
| [01:08] | Well, I have to work, too. | 我也得工作 |
| [01:10] | So what are we gonna do? | 那怎么办 |
| [01:12] | Guess we’re just gonna have to sit down and talk it out. | 只能坐下来好好商量了 |
| [01:16] | I always lose when we do that! | 每次这样都是我输 |
| [01:19] | Oh, how about this? | 这样吧 |
| [01:21] | A race to the door, okay? | 我们比赛谁先出门 |
| [01:22] | Last one out stays home, all right? | 谁跑得慢就留在家 好吗 |
| [01:24] | On three. Okay, come on. | 数三下 预备备 |
| [01:25] | One, two… | 一 二 |
| [01:28] | Thought I could hurdle that coffee table, I really did. | 我以为能直接跨过茶几 我真以为可以 |
| [01:33] | Okay, why can’t you take the kids today? | 好了 你今天为什么不能带孩子去 |
| [01:35] | I have a meeting with the mini-mall developer. | 我要跟迷你商场开发商开会 |
| [01:37] | And she’s already bent out of shape because | 她已经有点生气了 |
| [01:38] | there’s a trucker’s strike and construction is delayed. | 因为卡车司机罢工 工程延误了 |
| [01:41] | Okay, well, no rational person can blame you for that. | 好吧 但讲理的人肯定不会怪你 |
| [01:44] | She’s not rational. | 她根本不讲理 |
| [01:46] | She fired her own mother. | 亲妈都直接开除 |
| [01:49] | Well, I can’t take them either. | 我也不能带他们去上班 |
| [01:50] | My boss is out for the morning, | 老板今天上午出去了 |
| [01:52] | and he just made me his number two. | 他刚让我当他的二把手 |
| [01:56] | Hey, you know, a promotion like that deserves a reward. | 你升职了 应该有奖励 |
| [01:58] | Congratulations, honey, you just won a day at home | 恭喜你 亲爱的 奖励你休假一天在家 |
| [02:00] | with our beautiful children. | 陪陪咱家的漂亮孩子 |
| [02:04] | So I have to stay home because I’m a woman? | 就因为我是女人 我就得留在家吗 |
| [02:09] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [02:11] | Didn’t know you’d play that card this early. | 没想到你这么快就用了这一招 |
| [02:13] | Hey, if I’m holding an ace, you’re gonna see it. | 既然有王牌 为何不让你知道 |
| [02:17] | There’s no good solution to this. | 这件事没有好办法解决 |
| [02:20] | I don’t understand why kids can’t stay home alone. | 我不理解 孩子们为什么不能自己在家 |
| [02:22] | Remember that movie, Home Alone? | 记得那部电影吗 《小鬼当家》 |
| [02:26] | That was a big hit. | 当时多火啊 |
| [02:28] | You know, when I was Teddy’s age, | 我像泰迪这么大的时候 |
| [02:30] | my parents would just leave Don and I | 我爸妈就直接把我和老唐留在家 |
| [02:31] | with a sign around our necks that said, | 在我们脖子上挂个牌子 |
| [02:32] | “If found, please return to 247 Maple Street.” | “捡到后请送到枫树街247号” |
| [02:38] | Is that true? | 真的吗 |
| [02:39] | Just let me tell my story. | 你就让我这么讲吧 |
| [02:42] | All this babying is not good for the kids. | 这么惯着孩子不好 |
| [02:45] | You know, we… we cut up their bananas. | 你想啊 我们连香蕉都帮他们切好 |
| [02:50] | Bananas, Andi! | 香蕉啊 安迪 |
| [02:52] | A monkey knows how to work a banana. | 连猴子都知道怎么吃香蕉 |
| [02:55] | If we keep this up, when the kids get out in the real world, | 要是这样下去 等孩子们到了社会上 |
| [02:58] | they are never gonna survive. | 他们绝对活不下来 |
| [03:00] | Okay, okay. | 好吧 好吧 |
| [03:02] | You know what? This weekend, | 这样吧 这个周末 |
| [03:04] | we will drive the kids out to the woods, | 我们开车带他们去树林里 |
| [03:06] | give them a banana and see who makes it home. Huh? | 给他们一根香蕉 看谁最后能回家 |
| [03:09] | But for now, take them to work. | 但现在 你得带他们去上班 |
| [03:12] | I knew I’d lose if we talked it out. | 我就知道一商量我肯定输 |
| [03:15] | Fine, I’ll take them. | 好吧 我带他们去 |
| [03:16] | But we are definitely doing that banana Hunger Games thing. | 但是香蕉版”饥饿游戏”一定要玩 |
| [03:22] | I’ll tell you what, when my boss gets back this afternoon, | 这样吧 等我老板今天下午回来 |
| [03:24] | I’ll-I’ll fake a lady problem | 我就假装有”女性问题” |
| [03:26] | and I’ll come take Teddy and Emme from you. | 然后去你那儿把泰迪和艾米接回来 |
| [03:28] | Yes. Men don’t ask questions about lady problems | 很好 “女性问题”男人们从来不多问 |
| [03:31] | ’cause we don’t want the answers. | 因为我们不想听到答案 |
| [03:36] | Teddy, Teddy, don’t-don’t touch that. | 泰迪 泰迪 别碰那个 |
| [03:38] | Don’t touch that, okay? All right. | 别碰好吗 乖 |
| [03:40] | Emme, Emme, Emme, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. | 艾米 艾米 不要 别动 |
| [03:42] | Honey, that’s-that’s my boss’s chair, okay? | 宝贝 那是我老板的椅子 知道吗 |
| [03:44] | Come on, come on, come on, come on. | 来 听话 乖 |
| [03:46] | Teddy, Teddy, Teddy. | 泰迪 泰迪 |
| [03:47] | Give me that. Give me that. | 给我 快给我 |
| [03:48] | Stop playing– No. Will you stop it? | 别玩了 别动 听话点行吗 |
| [03:51] | Stop. Stop it. Stop it! | 住手 别玩了 别玩了 |
| [03:53] | Lisa! | 丽莎 |
| [03:55] | Oh, look, you brought your children to my workplace. | 快看啊 你把孩子带到工作场合了 |
| [04:00] | I’d just like to point out that I didn’t bring any kids. | 我想声明一下 我没带孩子来 |
| [04:03] | Good, Don. Very good. | 很好 老唐 你很棒 |
| [04:05] | Now, why don’t you and the little ones | 为了庆祝你的胜利 |
| [04:07] | celebrate your victory by going out into the hall. | 你带着俩小孩去外面大厅玩耍吧 |
| [04:10] | That’s a good idea. | 好主意 |
| [04:11] | Why don’t you guys wait for Daddy outside. Okay. | 你们去外面等爸爸 乖 |
| [04:14] | Really? Are you sure you want me to… | 真的吗 你确定要我出去… |
| [04:15] | Yep, uh-huh. Now you’re doing it. | 没错 就是这样 |
| [04:19] | Sorry about that. | 非常抱歉 |
| [04:20] | There was a scheduling thing with school, | 学校安排出了点问题 |
| [04:22] | and my wife is very liberated. | 我老婆又很追求自由 |
| [04:23] | Bup-bup-bup-bup-bup-bup. It’s best if I don’t know | 巴拉巴拉巴拉 其实我最好还是 |
| [04:25] | too much about your personal life. | 不要太了解你的私人生活 |
| [04:27] | It’ll make it easier if/when things go south | 这样简单一点 因为如果(等到)迷你商场 |
| [04:30] | with the mini-mall, and I have to, you know… | 出什么问题 我还得… 你懂的 |
| [04:34] | Kill me? | 杀了我吗 |
| [04:36] | No, fire you. | 不是 开了你 |
| [04:38] | Although my therapist would tell me | 不过我的心理医生总跟我说 |
| [04:39] | to be more sympathetic. | 要多有点同情心 |
| [04:41] | Your therapist sounds very smart. | 你的心理医生似乎很聪明 |
| [04:43] | – I fired her. – Serves that idiot right. | -我开除了她 -是那家伙活该 |
| [04:46] | Uh, we have to make this a quick meeting. | 我们得抓紧时间开会了 |
| [04:48] | The Developers Association | 开发商协会 |
| [04:49] | is honoring me with an Innovator Award, | 要为我颁发”创新改革奖” |
| [04:51] | and I’m a little frightened of public speaking. Oh. | 而我比较害怕当众讲话 |
| [04:54] | I’m much more likable one-on-one. | 一对一见面时我比较亲切 |
| [04:57] | Sure. Yeah. | 是啊 确实 |
| [04:58] | I say that because I don’t want you to… | 我这样说是因为我不希望你… |
| [05:02] | What is that? | 什么意思 |
| [05:03] | I was just doing what you did. | 这就是你刚才的动作 |
| [05:05] | You don’t do that. I do that. | 这动作我可以做 你不能做 |
| [05:06] | Okay. | 好 |
| [05:08] | Let’s talk about why you’re here. | 来聊聊为什么叫你过来吧 |
| [05:10] | I am not happy about the delays on the mini-mall. | 迷你商场的工程延误我很不满意 |
| [05:12] | Lisa, this truckers’ strike is causing problems. | 丽莎 卡车司机罢工的事带来了很多麻烦 |
| [05:15] | If it helps, I have 20 other contractors | 如果这话有帮助的话 我有二十家承包商 |
| [05:17] | that can replace you guys by tomorrow. | 明天就可以换掉你们 |
| [05:20] | I wouldn’t call it super helpful. | 不能算特别有帮助吧 |
| [05:23] | Look, we will bring this thing in on time, okay? | 我们肯定会按时交工的 好吗 |
| [05:25] | The Burns brothers are as professional as it gets. | 伯恩斯兄弟是最专业的承包商 |
| [05:28] | Hey, random question. | 我就随便问一下 |
| [05:31] | Was that vase out here expensive? | 外边这个花瓶贵不贵啊 |
| [05:34] | The kids broke the vase? | 孩子们把花瓶打了吗 |
| [05:36] | Right. Yeah, the kids. | 对 就是孩子们打的 |
| [05:39] | But don’t ask them about it; they’ll just lie. | 不过别问他们了 他们肯定撒谎 |
| [06:00] | What’s going on here? | 这是什么情况 |
| [06:02] | I have bugs on my head. | 我头上有虫子 |
| [06:06] | Welcome home, honey. The kids have lice. | 欢迎回家 宝贝 孩子们长虱子了 |
| [06:09] | Would you stop telling everybody about that? | 你能不能别跟每个人都说这事啊 |
| [06:12] | He’s your dad. You’ve pooped in his hand. | 他是你爸 他还抱着你拉过屎呢 |
| [06:16] | Stop telling everybody about that! | 这事也别广而告之了 |
| [06:19] | How can we have lice again? | 怎么会又长虱子了 |
| [06:21] | I thought you could only get that once. | 虱子不是只能得一次吗 |
| [06:23] | No, that’s mono. | 不 那是单核细胞增多症 |
| [06:25] | And somehow I’ve taken that around the block a few times. | 但不知为何我好像得了好几次 |
| [06:28] | Lowell was kind enough to come and treat everybody. | 洛厄尔很贴心地过来帮大家治了 |
| [06:31] | Actually, I told Andi it’s easy and she could do it, | 其实我跟安迪说 很简单 你也可以处理 |
| [06:34] | and she said, “Oh, I have to do it because I’m a woman?” | 她说 “就因为我是女人 我就得自己处理吗” |
| [06:36] | And I came right over. | 我就赶紧过来 |
| [06:40] | Wow, you are milking that like a dairy cow. | 这张王牌你可真是屡试不爽啊 |
| [06:43] | It’s no big deal. | 没事的 |
| [06:44] | I had the supplies because I just treated my kids. | 东西我都有 因为刚给我家孩子弄完 |
| [06:47] | Apparently, the whole school has it. | 好像整座学校都被感染了 |
| [06:48] | Well, why wouldn’t they tell us that? | 他们为什么不通知呢 |
| [06:53] | Wait a minute. | 等等 |
| [06:58] | Here it is. | 找到了 |
| [07:00] | Teddy! | 泰迪 |
| [07:01] | Hey, don’t shoot the messenger. | 两军交战不斩来使 |
| [07:04] | You’re not the messenger. You never deliver the message! | 你算什么来使 信息你从来不传达 |
| [07:08] | Okay, guys, you’re done. | 好了 孩子们 弄完了 |
| [07:09] | Go upstairs and rinse the little dead bodies out of your hair. | 赶紧上楼把头发里的小尸体都冲走 |
| [07:14] | Just talking about these bugs makes me itchy. | 说起虱子我就觉得很痒 |
| [07:16] | Actually, um, you guys should get checked. | 其实 你们也该检查下 |
| [07:19] | Oh, and we have to tell your dad, too. | 还得跟你爸说下 |
| [07:21] | He took the kids to that ball pit place yesterday. | 昨天他带孩子们去玩海洋球了 |
| [07:24] | You should let them know, too. | 还得通知下他们 |
| [07:25] | Hey, if you go to a ball pit and all you catch is lice, | 要是去海洋球 只传染了虱子 |
| [07:28] | you dodged a bullet. | 那真算是走运了 |
| [07:31] | The kids’ feet don’t reach the bottom, but mine did. | 孩子们的脚碰不到底部 但我可以 |
| [07:33] | It’s wet down there. | 下面特别湿 |
| [07:36] | Okay, Don’s clean. | 好了 老唐没问题 |
| [07:37] | Yeah, they couldn’t make it up to the penthouse. | 果然 虱子们爬不到高高的树屋上 |
| [07:41] | But Adam’s got some friends on top. | 不过亚当的头上就比较热闹了 |
| [07:45] | I can’t believe this. | 简直无法相信 |
| [07:46] | Honey, it’s okay. | 亲爱的 没关系 |
| [07:48] | It just means you’re a loving, affectionate dad. | 这只说明你是个深爱孩子们的父亲 |
| [07:52] | And Don’s a cold, distant uncle. | 而老唐是个冷漠的伯伯 |
| [07:55] | You’re gonna have to notify everybody you were with today. | 你得通知下你今天接触的所有人 |
| [07:58] | Well, we weren’t with anyone except each other. | 我们今天也就跟这些人在一起了 |
| [08:10] | Adam, are-are you okay? | 亚当 你还好吗 |
| [08:13] | The kids were all over Lisa’s office. | 孩子们在丽莎办公室闹翻了天 |
| [08:15] | They probably gave her lice! | 说不定传染了她虱子 |
| [08:18] | If we left them home with signs around their necks, | 要是给他们挂个牌子留在家 |
| [08:21] | this never would’ve happened. | 就不会发生这种事了 |
| [08:23] | I-I’m sure she’ll understand. I mean, she’s probably got kids. | 她应该会理解吧 说不定她也有孩子 |
| [08:27] | The only way she has kids is if she lured them | 她唯一有孩子的可能 就是用糖 |
| [08:29] | into her candy house to eat them for dinner. | 把他们引诱回家 然后当成晚餐吃掉 |
| [08:35] | Listen, we got to get out in front | 听我说 我们得坦白从宽 |
| [08:37] | of this lice thing with Lisa. | 直接跟丽莎说虱子的事 |
| [08:39] | Okay, we gave up all of our other work for this job. | 为了这个项目 我们放弃了其他活 |
| [08:41] | We got expenses, we hired Lowell. | 也有成本支出 还雇了洛厄尔 |
| [08:43] | You guys better fix this. | 你们最好尽快解决 |
| [08:45] | I can’t go back to being a house-husband. | 我不能再回去当家庭煮夫了 |
| [08:47] | My father-in-law just stopped calling me Nancy. | 我岳父前几天才不再叫我南希了 |
| [08:52] | Nancy’s worried. | 看来南希很担心 |
| [08:54] | Okay, all right, uh… Oh, how about this? | 好吧 要不这样 |
| [08:58] | Lisa’s got that awards banquet tonight. | 今晚丽莎要参加颁奖晚宴 |
| [08:59] | Let’s just go down there and check her out. | 我们直接过去 看看她的情况 |
| [09:01] | No, no. I’m mad at her. | 不去 我还在生她的气 |
| [09:02] | She put me out in the hall with the kids. | 她让我去走廊里陪孩子了 |
| [09:04] | No, no, Don. | 不 老唐 |
| [09:06] | We’ll just hang back and see if she’s scratching. | 我们去静观其变 看她有没有挠头 |
| [09:08] | If she’s not, then we’re just | 如果没有 |
| [09:10] | a couple of business partners there to support her. | 那我们就只是去那里支持她的商业伙伴 |
| [09:12] | That’s nice of us. | 那我们人很好 |
| [09:14] | Yeah. Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [09:15] | And if she does have lice, we’ll come clean. | 如果她真的有虱子 那就直接坦白 |
| [09:17] | Hopefully, she’ll appreciate our honesty and not send us packing. | 但愿她能欣赏我们的诚实 别开除我们 |
| [09:20] | Wait, wait, you’re betting our jobs on her humanity? | 等等 你要把项目的未来寄托在她的人性上吗 |
| [09:23] | Yep. And it’s a high-risk move | 没错 但这个风险非常大 |
| [09:25] | ’cause I’m not convinced she’s human. | 因为我还不确定她是人类 |
| [09:27] | I’m pretty sure I saw a zipper on the back of her head. | 上次我还看到她后脑勺有个拉链 |
| [09:33] | I better have all my hair when you wash this stuff out. | 等你洗完这东西 我的头发最好都在 |
| [09:37] | My inventory’s running low already. | 本来库存就不多了 |
| [09:41] | All right, we’re heading down to Lisa’s awards banquet. | 我们准备去丽莎的颁奖晚宴了 |
| [09:44] | No big deal, just trying to save our jobs. | 没什么大事 就是去保住饭碗 |
| [09:46] | I’m sure you’ll do great. | 肯定没问题的 |
| [09:48] | Don, let Adam do all the talking. | 大唐 谈话都交给亚当 |
| [09:50] | Right. I’ll just be eye candy. | 好 我只出个颜值就可以了 |
| [09:53] | Joe, I’m really sorry the kids turned your head | 乔 抱歉 孩子们把你的脑袋 |
| [09:56] | into a bug motel. | 搞成了虫子旅馆 |
| [09:59] | You know, Bev’s probably got them, too, | 贝弗可能也有 |
| [10:01] | and she’s on a river cruise with her gal pals. | 她跟她的闺蜜们坐内河游轮玩去了 |
| [10:03] | A boat full of itchy women scratching together. | 一船的女人在互相挠痒痒 |
| [10:07] | That-that makes me chuckle. | 一想到我就想笑 |
| [10:11] | Okay, let’s check you out. | 好的 现在检查你 |
| [10:12] | Okay, well, get ready, | 好 准备好 |
| [10:15] | ’cause last time the kids gave them to me, | 上次我被孩子们传染了 |
| [10:17] | it was like the million lice march on my head. | 数百万只虱子在我头皮练兵 |
| [10:20] | I guess that’s just the curse of being an affectionate mother. | 也许这就是当妈的副作用吧 |
| [10:24] | Nope. You’re clean as a whistle. | 没有 你一干二净 |
| [10:28] | No, no, no, that-that can’t be right, Lowell. | 不 不可能 洛厄尔 |
| [10:30] | Ch-Check it again. | 再检查一遍 |
| [10:32] | I checked. You’re good. | 我查过了 你没事 |
| [10:36] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [10:39] | Listen to me very carefully, all right? | 你仔细听好了 知道吗 |
| [10:41] | I’m their mother. Right? | 我是他们的妈妈 知道吗 |
| [10:43] | Every time they get the flu, I get the flu. | 他们每次得流感 我会被传染 |
| [10:45] | When they had strep throat, I had strep throat. | 他们得了脓毒性咽喉炎 我也被传染 |
| [10:47] | And the last time they got these bugs, | 他们上一次长虫子 |
| [10:49] | I got hit the worst because I am a warm and loving mother! | 我是最惨的 因为我是个关爱孩子的好妈妈 |
| [10:54] | Okay, don’t beat yourself up. | 好了 别为难自己 |
| [10:56] | You can’t compare then to now. | 今时不同往日了 |
| [10:57] | I mean, these days, you’re busy working. | 你现在不是忙着工作么 |
| [11:02] | What… what are you implying, Lowell? | 你这话什么意思 洛厄尔 |
| [11:04] | Don’t engage. | 别搭茬 |
| [11:08] | No, I’m not implying anything. | 我没有什么意思 |
| [11:10] | I’m just pointing out a factual difference. | 我只是指出了事实 |
| [11:12] | Stand down, boy. | 赶紧逃 孩子 |
| [11:16] | I think you’re saying that I don’t have lice | 我觉得你的意思是 我没有虱子 |
| [11:18] | because I’m not around enough. | 是因为我陪他们的时间少 |
| [11:21] | No, no, I did not mean that at all. | 不是 我完全不是这个意思 |
| [11:24] | What do I do? | 我该怎么办 |
| [11:26] | Play dead and hope she moves on. | 装死 祈祷她会走 |
| [11:30] | Okay, look, there could be lots of reasons for this. | 很多愿意都会导致这个情况的 |
| [11:33] | Like here– it says lice are only attracted to clean hair. | 比如这条 虱子只喜欢干净的头发 |
| [11:40] | So I’m either an absent mom or a dirty one. | 所以我不是不负责 就是脏妈妈 |
| [11:44] | Maybe you’re both. Who says you can’t have it all? | 也许你两样都有呢 谁说不能同时都有了 |
| [11:51] | Look at this spread. | 瞧瞧这阵仗 |
| [11:52] | They got the giant shrimp and tiny pickles. | 虾这么大 腌黄瓜这么小 |
| [11:54] | The whole world’s upside down. | 世界全都反过来了 |
| [11:57] | Will you stay focused? We have a job to do. | 你专心点行吗 我们有工作要做的 |
| [11:59] | They got the olives with a red thing in the middle. | 他们这的橄榄中间有红色的东西 |
| [12:01] | How they do that? | 怎么做到的 |
| [12:04] | Go to a grocery store, man. That’s just regular stuff. | 去商店看看吧 这都能买得到 |
| [12:07] | All right, now use your freakish height to find Lisa. | 利用你的惊人高度 找到丽莎 |
| [12:10] | There she is. | 她在那 |
| [12:13] | Ladies and gentlemen, our Innovator Award winner, | 女士们 先生们 获得创新改革奖的是 |
| [12:15] | Lisa McCaffrey. | 丽莎·麦卡菲 |
| [12:23] | She’s scratching her head. | 她在挠头发 |
| [12:25] | Hold on, hold on. | 等等 |
| [12:26] | Maybe she’s just coming up with an idea. | 也许她是想出个办法 |
| [12:30] | This is… such an honor. | 这真是荣幸之至 |
| [12:34] | Must be a real brainstorm. | 绞尽脑汁才能想出来的 |
| [12:37] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [12:47] | Oh, my God. | 我的天啊 |
| [12:49] | We just turned our boss into the Bride of Frankenstein. | 我们把老板变成了科学怪人的新娘 |
| [12:54] | Now, where was I? | 好的 刚刚我讲到哪了 |
| [13:02] | Don, we’re screwed. | 大唐 我们完蛋了 |
| [13:04] | We gave our boss lice, and she just humiliated herself. | 我们把虱子传给了老板 她刚刚出了大丑 |
| [13:06] | She sees us. | 她看见我们了 |
| [13:08] | Just look away. | 别看她 |
| [13:10] | I can’t; her hair’s too funny. | 我做不到 她的头发太好笑了 |
| [13:13] | – What are we gonna do? – I thought we had to tell her. | -我们该怎么办 -不是要告诉她吗 |
| [13:15] | No, no, no, it’s too big. | 不行 事情太严重了 |
| [13:17] | Remember when we were kids, we shot that bottle rocket | 记得小时候 我们把穿天猴放到了树林里 |
| [13:19] | into the woods and all the trees caught on fire? | 结果引发了大火那次吗 |
| [13:21] | We didn’t tell anyone, we just got the hell out of there. | 我们谁也没说 赶紧逃开了 |
| [13:23] | Everything’s on fire, Don! Let’s get the hell out of here! | 所有东西都着火了 让我们赶紧逃吧 |
| [13:25] | You’re right, let’s go. | 你说得对 我们走 |
| [13:29] | What kind of frickin’ lice don’t get on the mother’s head? | 什么破虱子才不上妈妈的脑袋 |
| [13:36] | She’s upset. One of us is gonna have to go in there. | 她生气了 我们中必须有一个人过去 |
| [13:38] | You go. | 你去 |
| [13:39] | You’re related to her. | 你是她的亲戚 |
| [13:40] | Not by blood, so let’s just take that off the table. | 不是血亲 所以这条不算 |
| [13:45] | You know what this is? | 知道这是怎么回事吗 |
| [13:46] | This-this is society trying to keep the working moms down! | 就是这个社会想打压工作的母亲 |
| [13:50] | I’m out. | 我走了 |
| [13:51] | What? Don’t leave me. | 什么 别扔下我 |
| [13:54] | you pulled the pin on the grenade; you jump on it. | 是你拉的手雷 自己飞扑过去吧 |
| [13:56] | Feel better, honey! | 保重 亲爱的 |
| [14:11] | So… you know what I was thinking? | 我一直在想 |
| [14:14] | I bet that you don’t have lice | 之所以你没有虱子 |
| [14:16] | because they just flew off your head | 是因为你这个妈妈当得太好了 |
| [14:18] | while you were running around being a great mom. | 虱子们集体飞离了你的头顶 |
| [14:23] | Nice try, Lowell, but I think we both know | 别费劲了 洛厄尔 我们都清楚 |
| [14:24] | why I don’t have the bugs. | 我为什么没长虱子 |
| [14:26] | There could be other reasons. | 还有其他原因 |
| [14:27] | Like, did you put your head too close to the microwave? | 比如 你的头有没有离微波炉太近 |
| [14:32] | Were you underwater for 45 minutes? | 有没有在水下待了45分钟 |
| [14:36] | Have you been in space? | 你去过太空吗 |
| [14:39] | Are you having fun, Lowell? | 玩得开心吗 洛厄尔 |
| [14:42] | No. | 不开心 |
| [14:45] | And not that I’m ready to go, but have you seen my car keys? | 我不是说我要走 只是你看到我车钥匙了吗 |
| [14:49] | Wait. Is this your hair spray? | 等等 这是你的护发喷雾吗 |
| [14:53] | No, I stole it. | 不是 我偷来的 |
| [14:55] | Among my many flaws, I’m also a kleptomaniac. | 因为我众多的缺点之一 偷窃癖 |
| [14:58] | I guess once you light the fuse, all the bombs go off. | 我这是踩到连环雷了 |
| [15:01] | I’m just saying, | 我只是说 |
| [15:02] | your hair spray has tea tree oil in it. | 你的护发喷雾里有茶树油 |
| [15:05] | – That repels lice. – It does? | -是防虱子的 -是吗 |
| [15:08] | Look, it’s on the sheet from school. | 看 学校发的单子里有 |
| [15:13] | So it’s not my fault? | 所以这不是我的错 |
| [15:16] | I am a good mother. | 我是个好妈妈 |
| [15:19] | Great mother. | 伟大的妈妈 |
| [15:21] | Little bit of an aggressive host. | 就是女主人的攻击属性有点强 |
| [15:24] | Okay, I’m gonna get out of here while you’re smiling. | 好了 我要趁你笑的时候赶紧走 |
| [15:27] | Thanks so much, Lowell. | 太谢谢你了 洛厄尔 |
| [15:28] | Anytime. But never again. | 有事您说话 我再也不想听了 |
| [15:32] | Hey, Lowell. | 洛厄尔 |
| [15:33] | There’s my handsome man. How’d it go? | 我家的帅哥回来了 怎么样 |
| [15:36] | I don’t want to tell you | 我不想告诉你 |
| [15:37] | because you look like you’re in a good mood. | 不想破坏你这个看起来不错的心情 |
| [15:40] | She is now. | 那是现在 |
| [15:41] | Thanks for meeting me at the exit of the roller coaster. | 你们在过山车出口看 当然没事 |
| [15:49] | Wait a minute. | 等一下 |
| [15:50] | You thought you were a bad mom because you didn’t have lice? | 就因为你没有虱子 所以觉得自己不是个好妈妈 |
| [15:53] | Yeah, I felt terrible. | 对 我感觉糟糕透了 |
| [15:56] | So I did the healthy thing and I took it out on Lowell. | 所以我用健康的方法 对洛厄尔发泄了 |
| [16:00] | Well, I don’t hate that someone else took that shrapnel. | 我倒不介意有人代劳 |
| [16:03] | I mean, I actually thought about quitting my job. | 我都想到要辞职不干了 |
| [16:06] | I can’t believe you were beating yourself up like that. | 没想到你这么为难自己 |
| [16:09] | And there’s no way you’re quitting. | 你绝对不能辞职 |
| [16:10] | After Lisa’s speech tonight, | 今晚丽莎演讲完 |
| [16:12] | you might be the only one of us working. | 我们家可能要指着你挣钱了 |
| [16:15] | Was it really that bad? | 有那么糟糕吗 |
| [16:16] | Yeah, yeah. She’s got a bundle of lice, | 有 她身上有一堆虱子 |
| [16:19] | and she’s gonna realize it was because of us. | 很快就会意识到是被我们传的 |
| [16:21] | We have until Monday to figure our way out of this. | 在周一之前 我们还有时间想辙 |
| [16:25] | Who is it? | 谁啊 |
| [16:27] | It’s Lisa McCaffrey! | 丽莎·麦卡菲 |
| [16:31] | Don, she’s at my house. She knows! | 大唐 她来我家了 她知道了 |
| [16:33] | Turn off the lights. | 把灯关了 |
| [16:37] | Andi, you talk to her. | 安迪 你去跟她谈 |
| [16:39] | I have to talk to her because I’m a woman? | 就因为我是女人 就要我跟她谈吗 |
| [16:41] | Yes! I’m playing the card now. | 对 我要用这招了 |
| [16:43] | The card works both ways. | 这招对谁都好用 |
| [16:46] | Hello? I know you’re in there. | 你好 我知道你在家 |
| [16:49] | You know what? This seems like man’s work. | 我觉得这是男人的工作 |
| [16:51] | Yeah, I’m reverse playing the card. | 我要以彼之道还之彼身 |
| [17:00] | Lisa. Hey, what’s up? | 丽莎 你好啊 |
| [17:02] | So, my speech didn’t go very well tonight, | 今晚我的演讲不是很顺利 |
| [17:05] | and we need to talk about it. | 我们需要谈一谈 |
| [17:07] | look, I just want to say I’m sorry… | 我想跟你说 我们非常 |
| [17:09] | I had an anxiety attack. | 我焦虑症发作了 |
| [17:11] | Or you go. | 你说 |
| [17:13] | I called my therapist, Dr. Klein, | 我打电话给我的心理医生 克莱医生 |
| [17:15] | and she explained that the itching was | 她跟我解释说 |
| [17:17] | a physical manifestation of my fear of public speaking. | 因为对公开讲话的恐惧 导致生理上的瘙痒 |
| [17:22] | – That sounds about right. -She nailed it. | -她说得挺有道理 -她说得对 |
| [17:26] | I just came by because we work together, | 我过来是因为我们是合作伙伴 |
| [17:29] | and I felt I owed you an explanation. | 我觉得有必要跟你们解释一下 |
| [17:33] | Well, just don’t let it happen again. | 行 以后别再这样了 |
| [17:38] | Bottom line: | 重点是 |
| [17:39] | what happened on that stage tonight was my fault. | 今晚讲台上的事件 是我的错 |
| [17:42] | It was my failure, | 是我的失败 |
| [17:43] | and I have to figure out a way to deal with that. | 我必须想办法面对它 |
| [17:49] | No. Don’t you do it. | 不行 不可以 |
| [17:51] | Don’t you do the right thing. | 不可以去做对的事 |
| [17:53] | Lisa! Lisa! Wait, wait. | 丽莎 等等 |
| [17:55] | Oh, he’s doing it. | 他做了 |
| [17:58] | Yeah, c-come on in. | 请进吧 |
| [18:03] | What happened tonight– the problem’s not in your head, | 今晚发生的问题 不在你脑袋里 |
| [18:07] | it’s on your head. | 而在你脑袋上 |
| [18:10] | What are you saying? | 你在说什么 |
| [18:12] | Well, you see… | 你看 |
| [18:15] | Don’s niece and nephew gave you lice. | 大唐的侄子侄女 传给你了虱子 |
| [18:23] | You let me make a fool out of myself | 你让我在所有同行面前 |
| [18:25] | in front of my entire industry. | 出了这么大的丑 |
| [18:27] | I should fire you right now. | 我应该现在就炒你鱿鱼 |
| [18:30] | Hey, you know what? | 你知道吗 |
| [18:31] | My wife has a job, okay? | 我妻子也有工作 |
| [18:34] | So sometimes I have to bring my kids to work, | 有时候我不得不带着孩子去上班 |
| [18:37] | and almost every time, they have something you can catch. | 几乎每次 他们身上都会有你被传染的东西 |
| [18:41] | And I’m not gonna apologize for that. | 我不会为此道歉的 |
| [18:44] | I will. I’m sorry for both of us. | 我会的 我为我们两个道歉 |
| [18:46] | No, no, no. I’m tired of everyone feeling bad. | 不要 我受不了大家都不开心了 |
| [18:50] | My wife felt bad because she thought she was a bad mom. | 我妻子因为觉得自己不是好妈妈而不开心 |
| [18:52] | I felt bad because I thought I was a bad employee. | 我因为自己觉得不是个好员工而不开心 |
| [18:55] | We’re all doing the best we can, | 我们都在尽力而为了 |
| [18:56] | and if that’s not good enough for you, | 如果你觉得还不满意的话 |
| [18:57] | then you know what, go ahead, fire us, go ahead. | 那就这样吧 你开除我们 开除吧 |
| [19:00] | Well, you really took the wind out of my sails. | 你可真会扫我的兴 |
| [19:04] | If you don’t mind getting fired, it’s not fun for me. | 如果你不介意被开除的话 那就不好玩了 |
| [19:08] | I’d like to be fired, too, then. | 那我也想被开除 |
| [19:13] | Look, if it means anything, we never meant for it to happen. | 这么说如果能让你好受点的话 我们都不是故意的 |
| [19:19] | Well, I guess the lice is a bit of a relief. | 不过虱子也算个不幸中的万幸了 |
| [19:22] | I can fix that with shampoo. | 这是用洗发水就能解决的问题 |
| [19:24] | I thought I was gonna have to improve myself. | 不然我以为还要改进自己呢 |
| [19:28] | Good luck, am I right? | 也是走运 对不对 |
| [19:31] | Okay, uh, are we still working for you? | 我们还是你的员工吗 |
| [19:34] | Sure. For now. | 当然 暂时的 |
| [19:38] | Meanwhile, I’m gonna call my therapist, | 与此同时 我要打电话给我的心理医生 |
| [19:40] | Dr. Klein, and fire her. | 开除这个克莱医生 |
| [19:42] | And then I’m gonna swing by my ex-husband’s house | 然后我打算去我前夫家 |
| [19:45] | and give his new girlfriend a big licey hug. | 给他的新女友一个大大虱子拥抱 |
| [19:50] | That sounds fun. | 听起来挺好玩 |
| [19:52] | Maybe don’t lose Dr. Klein’s number. | 克莱医生的电话还是留着吧 |
| [19:58] | That was good stuff. | 说的太好了 |
| [20:00] | I was worried, but you landed that plane. | 我本来很担心 不过你的技术不错 |
| [20:04] | Hey, honey. | 亲爱的 |
| [20:05] | I heard everything. I’m so proud of you. | 我都听到了 真为你骄傲 |
| [20:08] | You’ve earned these. | 这是你们应得的 |
| [20:11] | I meant what I said. | 我说话算话 |
| [20:12] | If I have to take my kids to work every day, | 如果我不得不每天带着孩子们上班 |
| [20:14] | then I am happy to do it. | 我也很乐意的 |
| [20:15] | Oh, good. | 真好 |
| [20:18] | ‘Cause I just got an e-mail. They’re fumigating the school, | 我刚刚收到邮件 学校要消毒 |
| [20:20] | and the kids are gonna be off for the next three days. | 所以学生要放三天假 |
| [20:24] | I’m calling in with lady problems. | 我要打电话说我有女性问题 |
| [20:33] | And in other news, a river boat was quarantined | 下一条新闻 一艘内河游船 |
| [20:36] | offshore due to a lice outbreak. | 因爆发虱子问题而被隔离 |
| [20:43] | Never tell your mother how much I enjoyed this. | 千万别告诉你妈妈 我乐开花了 |
| [20:46] | You want us to rewind it and play it again? | 要不要我们重播这段 |
| [20:48] | He’s seen it three times. | 他都看三次了 |
| [20:50] | Once more for the old man, huh? | 再给我这个老爷子放一遍吧 |
| [20:53] | And in other news, a river boat was quarantined… | 下一条新闻 一艘内河游船 |