| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:03] | We’re really excited to have the kids stay with us | 我们很高兴能帮你们看孩子 |
| [00:05] | while you guys are away for a little grown-up time. | 让你们可以享受些成人时光 |
| [00:08] | Wink, wink. | 眨眼 眨眼 |
| [00:11] | Ma, don’t “Wink, wink.” | 妈 你别眨眼眨眼 |
| [00:12] | You’re gonna ruin grown-up time. | 会把成人时光毁掉的 |
| [00:15] | Don’t worry, honey, I got some new lingerie. | 别担心 亲爱的 我买了新的内衣 |
| [00:17] | You’ll power through. | 可以让你恢复雄风 |
| [00:20] | So, you’re going to Atlantic City. | 你们要去大西洋城了 |
| [00:21] | I’ve had some good times there with your mother. | 以前我跟你妈妈在那儿玩得很开心哦 |
| [00:24] | I’ve never been to Atlantic City, Joe. | 我从来没去过大西洋城 乔 |
| [00:27] | Well, some lucky lady. | 那就是 某个幸运的姑娘 |
| [00:31] | A-And it’s not Atlantic City, Dad, it’s Vegas. | 不是大西洋城 爸爸 是拉斯维加斯 |
| [00:33] | I told you that ten minutes ago | 我十分钟前就跟你说了 |
| [00:35] | when you were complaining about how tinfoil used to be thicker. | 当时你在抱怨锡箔以前比现在的厚 |
| [00:39] | Hi, Grandma. Hi, Grandpa. | 爷爷奶奶 |
| [00:40] | Oh, we are gonna have such fun with these cuties. | 我们肯定会跟这些小可爱玩得很开心的 |
| [00:43] | I have a candy bar at home weighs more than you do. | 我家里有块比你还重的糖 |
| [00:46] | I love you, Grandma. | 我爱你 奶奶 |
| [00:50] | And we’re hoping that Kate | 我们希望凯特可以 |
| [00:51] | looks up from her phone at some point. | 偶尔把看手机的头抬起来 |
| [00:54] | What? | 什么 |
| [00:56] | And we’ve got something special planned for you, Teddy. | 我们还给你安排的特别的计划 泰迪 |
| [00:59] | I fixed up your dad’s old BB gun. | 我修好了你爸爸以前的BB枪 |
| [01:02] | You better sleep with one eye open. | 你晚上睡觉最好小心点 |
| [01:05] | I’ve got a video of you singing “Let It Go” In your towel. | 我有你围着浴巾唱《冰雪奇缘》主题曲的视频 |
| [01:12] | A BB gun for Teddy? | 给泰迪 BB枪 |
| [01:14] | Oh, don’t worry, my dad’s a great teacher. | 别担心 我爸爸是个好老师 |
| [01:16] | Don and I both had ’em when we were kids. | 我和大唐小时候都玩 |
| [01:17] | Oh, yeah, I taught my boys how to shoot the Army way. | 没错 我教会了儿子们如何像军人一样用枪 |
| [01:19] | Safety first. | 安全第一 |
| [01:21] | Unless you’re being overrun by Charlie, | 除非你是被查理的烂方法蹂躏过的 |
| [01:23] | then it’s just spray and pray. | 那你就只能跪地求饶了 |
| [01:26] | But Teddy’s so young. | 可泰迪那么小 |
| [01:28] | But it’s a Burns family tradition. | 这是伯恩斯的家族传统 |
| [01:30] | Three generations of men sharing knowledge | 三代人传承知识 |
| [01:32] | and history and companionship. | 学习历史 互相陪伴 |
| [01:35] | That’s the kind of emotional crap you love. | 这正是你喜欢的那种狗血情感戏 |
| [01:40] | I do love emotional crap. | 我确实喜欢狗血情感戏 |
| [01:43] | Okay, well, just be careful. | 好吧 你们一定要小心 |
| [01:46] | All right, you better get out of here | 趁她没改主意之前 |
| [01:47] | before she changes her mind. Yeah. | 你们赶紧走吧 |
| [01:50] | Okay, honey, bye-bye. Bye-bye. | 好的 亲爱的 再见 |
| [01:54] | So… | 好了 |
| [01:55] | tell me more about this girl from Atlantic City. | 跟我讲讲大西洋城这个姑娘怎么回事 |
| [01:59] | Honey, don’t worry about who else played the game. | 亲爱的 不要担心参赛选手是谁了 |
| [02:02] | You won the prize. | 你赢得了冠军 |
| [02:08] | I’m looking forward to teaching your boy how to shoot. | 等不及教会你儿子怎么开枪了 |
| [02:11] | Once Teddy learns how to use a BB gun, | 等泰迪学会了怎么用BB枪 |
| [02:13] | I’ll show him my real guns. | 我会给他看我的真枪的 |
| [02:14] | Okay, bye, Dad, yup, night-night. | 好了 再见 爸爸 晚安了 |
| [02:16] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [02:17] | Drive safe. | 开车小心 |
| [02:20] | Off you go. | 终于走了 |
| [02:23] | Wait-wait-wait, wh-what did he just say? | 等等 他刚刚说什么 |
| [02:25] | Oh, nothing, just some old guy jibber-jab. | 没什么 老人的胡言乱语 |
| [02:27] | Nothing to worry about. | 没什么可担心的 |
| [02:29] | Wait, wait, wait. H-He has real guns at home? | 等等 他家里有真枪 |
| [02:32] | I can’t believe you never told me that. | 不敢相信 你居然没告诉过我 |
| [02:34] | Honey, my dad hunts, he’s a vet. | 亲爱的 我爸爸会打猎 他是个兽医 |
| [02:35] | I figured you knew. I’m gonna go in here now. | 我以为你知道呢 我去里面了 |
| [02:38] | Oh, I’m gonna go in here, too. | 我也来里面 |
| [02:42] | Look, our kids are over there a lot. | 孩子们经常去他们家 |
| [02:44] | Yeah, and think how safe they are | 是啊 想想有那么多枪保护着 |
| [02:45] | being protected by all those guns. | 他们多安全啊 |
| [02:49] | Look, when Kate was born, you got rid of your hunting rifles. | 凯特出生的时候 你处理掉了你的猎枪 |
| [02:52] | I just… I don’t understand why people insist on having guns. | 我就是不理解 为什么有人坚持要有枪呢 |
| [02:56] | That’s ’cause no one as smart as me has ever explained it to you. | 因为没有我这么聪明的人 来给你解释 |
| [03:00] | Okay? | 好吧 |
| [03:01] | People say it’s about their rights and their freedom, | 大家说这是他们的权利和自由 |
| [03:04] | but here’s the real truth: guns are fun. | 但真相是 枪好玩 |
| [03:08] | They go boom, people like that. | 它会响 大家喜欢啊 |
| [03:11] | But they’re dangerous. | 可是很危险 |
| [03:13] | In the hands of idiots. | 在傻瓜的手里才危险 |
| [03:15] | But the fact that you never even knew my dad had ’em | 你想想 你都不知道我爸爸有枪 |
| [03:17] | proves how careful and safe he is. | 这证明了他多么小心 多么安全 |
| [03:20] | I think it just proves that you never told me. | 我觉得只能证明你从来没告诉过我 |
| [03:24] | It can prove two things. | 它可以证明两件事 |
| [03:27] | I’m sorry, I’m-I’m just not comfortable | 抱歉 但想到孩子们在那 |
| [03:30] | leaving the kids there. | 我会很不开心 |
| [03:31] | I just– I-I won’t be able to enjoy myself in Vegas. | 那我在拉斯维加斯会玩得不放心的 |
| [03:33] | No, no, no, leave Vegas out of this. | 不要 别把拉斯维加斯扯进来 |
| [03:37] | We’ve had to cancel this trip three times. | 我们已经被迫取消三次旅行计划了 |
| [03:40] | Okay, well, then talk to your dad | 好吧 那你可以跟你爸爸谈谈 |
| [03:42] | about getting rid of his guns and we can go. | 让他处理掉那些枪 我们就能去了 |
| [03:45] | If you feel so strongly about it, | 既然你反应这么强烈 |
| [03:47] | maybe you should talk to my dad. | 也许你应该去跟我爸谈 |
| [03:50] | Okay. | 行 |
| [03:52] | Yeah, I’ll tell your dad to get rid of his guns. | 我可以去跟你爸爸说 把枪处理掉 |
| [03:55] | You can tell my mom she has to start wearing a bra. | 你可以跟我妈谈 让她戴上文胸 |
| [04:00] | I’ll take the guns. | 我选枪 |
| [04:03] | If she’s not gonna listen to the manager at the Golden Corral, | 饭店经理劝她 她都不听 |
| [04:05] | she’s not gonna listen to me. | 怎么可能会听我的 |
| [04:19] | So here’s the thing, Dad. | 问题是这样的 爸爸 |
| [04:21] | I had a talk with Andi, | 我跟安迪聊过了 |
| [04:23] | and you need to get rid of your guns. | 你得处理掉你的枪 |
| [04:28] | Your wife is very funny, yeah. Yeah. | 你老婆太幽默了 |
| [04:31] | Yeah, she’s a hoot. | 她是挺有意思的 |
| [04:33] | But after you brought up your real guns last night, | 可昨晚你说起真枪以后 |
| [04:35] | Andi got all worried | 安迪就特别担心 |
| [04:36] | about the kids staying with you guys next week. | 下周孩子们要在你这住这件事 |
| [04:38] | Oh, geez. No one’s more careful than me. | 天 我是最小心的人了 |
| [04:41] | I told her, but there’s talk of calling off Vegas. | 我说了 可她差点取消拉斯维加斯的旅行 |
| [04:44] | Okay, I need to play blackjack in a hotel robe, | 我需要早餐就穿着酒店浴袍 喝着啤酒 |
| [04:46] | holding a morning beer. I need it, Dad. | 玩二十一点 我需要它 爸爸 |
| [04:48] | All right, all right. | 好吧 |
| [04:51] | Look, I think Andi just doesn’t like guns | 我觉得安迪不喜欢枪 |
| [04:52] | because she’s never shot one. | 是因为她从来没开过枪 |
| [04:54] | That’s what I was thinking. | 我就是这么想的 |
| [04:55] | So how about we take her to the shooting range? | 我们要不要带她去趟射击场 |
| [04:57] | She can see how responsible you are, | 看看你多么负责 |
| [04:59] | and we can change her mind. | 也许能让她改主意 |
| [05:00] | I like it. Okay, good. | 我喜欢 行 |
| [05:02] | By the way, how many times have you actually | 顺便问一句 你对成功地让她改变心意 |
| [05:05] | changed her mind about something? | 有几次经验 |
| [05:07] | I don’t know, who keeps track of that stuff? | 我不知道 谁会一直数这种事 |
| [05:10] | Zero’s not a hard number to remember. | 零一点都不难数 |
| [05:19] | Who can say fresh radishes? | 想要新鲜的红萝卜举手哦 |
| [05:22] | You don’t have to say it, I’ll just give you some. | 你不用举 我会给你的 |
| [05:24] | I grew them in my garden. Have one. | 这是我在自家花园里种出来的 尝一个 |
| [05:26] | No, thanks. I don’t try new things. | 不了 谢谢 我不想尝试新事物 |
| [05:29] | Don, we’ve talked about this, | 大唐 我们都谈过了 |
| [05:30] | it’s good to broaden your horizons. | 开阔视野是件好事 |
| [05:32] | Well, actually, Lowell, in 99% of deaths, | 事实上 洛厄尔 百分十九十九的死亡 |
| [05:34] | you’ll find out that the deceased, | 你会发现那些死者 |
| [05:36] | at some point, tried something new. | 在某种程度上都是尝试新鲜事物了 |
| [05:40] | But everybody tries something new. | 但每个人都会尝试新事物 |
| [05:42] | And everybody dies. | 所以每个人都会死 |
| [05:45] | You got any tomatoes in that man basket? | 你那阳刚之气的篮子里有番茄吗 |
| [05:47] | I know I like those. | 番茄我是喜欢的 |
| [05:48] | Well, I planted some, | 我也种了一些 |
| [05:49] | but I’ve got a thieving woodchuck in my garden. | 可花园里有只偷东西的美洲旱獭 |
| [05:52] | I tried to have my cat chase him off, | 我试过让我家猫去赶它 |
| [05:53] | but they became unlikely animal friends. | 可他们发展出了跨物种的友谊 |
| [05:56] | You know, my dad fixed up Adam’s old BB gun. | 我爸爸修好了亚当以前的BB枪 |
| [05:59] | How about you and I go out and take care of that woodchuck? | 我们一起去解决掉这只旱獭怎么样 |
| [06:01] | Scarface style. | 按《疤面煞星》的风格 |
| [06:05] | I don’t like this place. | 我不喜欢这个地方 |
| [06:07] | And why are people wearing camouflage inside? | 这些人在室内还穿什么迷彩服 |
| [06:10] | It just makes them more obvious. | 只能让他们更显眼 |
| [06:11] | I can see all of you! | 我能看见你们所有人 |
| [06:14] | Honey, don’t rile up the gun owners. | 亲爱的 别惹拿枪的人 |
| [06:18] | Just relax. | 放松点 |
| [06:19] | Okay, once you fire off a few rounds, | 等你打了几梭子以后 |
| [06:21] | I think you’ll see it’s not as scary as it seems. | 就会发现没有你想的那么恐怖 |
| [06:23] | All right. | 好了 |
| [06:24] | Let’s go over a few safety rules, huh? | 我们先学习几条安全守则 |
| [06:27] | Always assume that every gun is loaded. | 要永远把每把枪都当做是有子弹的 |
| [06:31] | Is that one loaded? | 那把枪有子弹吗 |
| [06:32] | What did I just say? | 我刚刚说什么了 |
| [06:33] | She’s not listening. | 她说不听了 |
| [06:35] | Trust me, Dad, that’s not how you do it with her. | 相信我 爸爸 这招不能用在她身上 |
| [06:38] | It’s true. It’s not how you do it with me. | 没错 不能对我这样 |
| [06:40] | All right, you want to go give this a try? | 好吧 要不要试一试呢 |
| [06:43] | Well, if it gets me off | 只要能让我摆脱这群 |
| [06:44] | the set of Deliverance, I’ll do it. | 《丛林大作战》的人 我要 |
| [06:47] | Okay, fire when ready. | 好的 准备好就开枪 |
| [06:54] | Well that’s just the best thing ever. | 这是最好玩的东西了 |
| [07:00] | I’ve seen you eat carrots before, | 我看过你吃胡萝卜 |
| [07:01] | so I know you’ll like these. | 所以你肯定喜欢这些 |
| [07:03] | I want the last thing that woodchuck sees to be us enjoying | 希望那只旱獭死前看到的最后画面 是我们 |
| [07:06] | what is rightfully ours! | 吃着我们自己的东西 |
| [07:09] | Got any ranch dressing? | 有牧场沙拉酱吗 |
| [07:10] | I do. | 有 |
| [07:14] | Can I have some? | 能给我一点吗 |
| [07:16] | You may not. Just try one without it. | 不能 你先尝尝不加酱的 |
| [07:20] | Why are you always looking to change me? | 你为什么总想改变我 |
| [07:21] | It’s like when you wanted me to see movies | 就像你希望我看那些 |
| [07:22] | that aren’t Fast & Furious. | 非《速度与激情》的电影一样 |
| [07:25] | There are better movies. Branch out. | 还有更好的电影 开阔眼界 |
| [07:27] | There aren’t better movies. | 没有更好的电影了 |
| [07:28] | They made eight and the worst one was good. | 他们拍了八部 最差的也好看 |
| [07:31] | It went great, great, great, | 顺序是 很好 很好 很好 |
| [07:32] | good, great, great, better, best. | 好 很好 很好 较好 最好 |
| [07:35] | Of course you love it– it’s the ranch dressing of movies. | 你当然会喜欢看了 它们是电影届的牧场沙拉酱 |
| [07:40] | Shh, look, there’s the woodchuck. | 看 旱獭出来了 |
| [07:44] | That’s right, just sit there and eat that tomato. | 好的 坐稳 好好吃番茄 |
| [07:48] | Oh, no, my cat! | 不 我的猫 |
| [07:53] | You shot me in the butt! | 你打到我屁股了 |
| [07:56] | No, I didn’t. I was at work all day. | 没有 今天我一直在公司 |
| [08:03] | But I don’t want to go home. | 可我不想回家 |
| [08:05] | Babe, we’ve been here two hours. | 宝贝 我们在这打了两小时了 |
| [08:07] | You can’t go full Rambo on the first day. | 你不能第一天就变成史泰龙啊 |
| [08:10] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [08:12] | But first let me check out the gift counter. | 让我先去礼品店看看 |
| [08:13] | They have a-a pepper grinder that looks like a hand grenade. | 这里有个做成手榴弹的胡椒研磨器 |
| [08:16] | How do I not have one of those? | 我怎么能不买呢 |
| [08:18] | All right, looks like Atlantic City is back on. | 好了 看来大西洋城可以去了 |
| [08:22] | I told you it’s Vegas. | 我说了 是拉斯维加斯 |
| [08:24] | Dad, you just put your phone in the gun case. | 爸爸 你刚刚把手机放进枪套里了 |
| [08:27] | – What? – Were you about to put the gun in your pocket? | -什么 -那你是把枪放到口袋里了吗 |
| [08:30] | Don’t worry about what I put where. | 别担心我放到哪了 |
| [08:32] | Well, I’m just saying, | 我要说的是 |
| [08:33] | if someone calls and you answer your gun, | 要是有人打电话 你用手枪接听 |
| [08:34] | we’re gonna have a problem. | 我们麻烦就大了 |
| [08:36] | I can’t see in here | 我在这里看不清 |
| [08:37] | because they’re using those global warming light bulbs. | 都怪他们用的破环保灯泡 |
| [08:40] | We’re all walking around in the dark to save some salamander. | 让我们都在黑暗中行动 拯救蝾螈 |
| [08:45] | Saddle up, boys, | 备马吧 小子们 |
| [08:49] | I got to stop by the butcher. | 一会儿先去趟肉摊 |
| [08:50] | I want to eat something for dinner | 姐晚上想吃点 |
| [08:51] | that was walking around yesterday. | 昨天还活生生的东西 |
| [08:56] | I’m not so sure about Vegas. | 我不太确定要不要去拉斯维加斯 |
| [08:59] | What? But I was really impressed with your dad. | 怎么了 我觉得你爸爸非常棒 |
| [09:02] | I don’t have any problem with the kids staying there. | 让孩子跟他一起玩 没什么问题啊 |
| [09:03] | He knows what he’s doing. | 他很清楚自己在做什么 |
| [09:04] | I used to think that, too. | 我以前也是这么想的 |
| [09:06] | Back at the range, he got his gun and his phone mixed up. | 刚刚在射击场里 他把手机和枪弄混了 |
| [09:10] | I’ve never seen him do anything like that. | 我从来没见过他这样 |
| [09:12] | Well, I mean, maybe he-he just got confused. | 也许他一时糊涂呢 |
| [09:14] | I mean, that place was thrilling. | 那个地方确实让人目眩神迷 |
| [09:17] | Things got crazy. | 走向太疯狂了 |
| [09:18] | I didn’t even pay for this hat. | 这顶帽子我都没花钱 |
| [09:22] | It’s more than that. I’ve been noticing stuff. | 我留意到的事 不止这么多 |
| [09:24] | He keeps thinking we’re going to Atlantic City. | 他一直觉得我们要去的是大西洋城 |
| [09:26] | Like he’s lost a step. | 感觉他记忆出了问题 |
| [09:28] | I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I don’t think | 不敢相信我会说出这句话 我觉得 |
| [09:30] | he should have guns around the house anymore. | 他不应该再在家里放枪了 |
| [09:32] | And I have to be the jerk that tells him. | 而我要当那个告诉他的坏人 |
| [09:34] | Oh, honey, I’m sorry. | 亲爱的 别难过 |
| [09:37] | You talk to my dad, | 你去跟我爸谈 |
| [09:38] | and I will wrestle your mother into that bra. | 我会把你妈妈塞进文胸里的 |
| [09:42] | Yeah, now that I think about it, | 现在我仔细想想 |
| [09:43] | I think it might be awkward | 让你强迫我妈穿内衣 |
| [09:44] | for you to force underwear on my mom. | 实在太尴尬了 |
| [09:47] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [09:48] | And I think you’re the one that has to talk to your dad. | 我觉得应该由你跟你老爸去谈 |
| [09:50] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [09:52] | Poor guy. | 可怜的 |
| [09:54] | I just… I hate to hit him with this. | 我讨厌这样打击他 |
| [09:58] | Well, hey, there is a silver lining. | 不过也有好的一面 |
| [10:00] | I mean, if you handle this now, then you won’t get shot | 你现在处理好了 等你不让他开车的时候 |
| [10:03] | when it’s time to take away his car keys. | 他就不能开枪打你了 |
| [10:11] | So, here’s the thing, Dad. | 事情是这样的 爸爸 |
| [10:13] | I had another talk with Andi, | 我跟安迪又谈了一下 |
| [10:15] | and you need to get rid of your guns. | 你得处理掉你那些枪 |
| [10:20] | That’s still a classic. Yeah. | 还是非常好笑 |
| [10:22] | You’re not laughing. | 你没笑 |
| [10:24] | This time I’m serious. | 我是认真的 |
| [10:26] | That thing at the range, with your cell phone, | 射击场里你把手机弄混的事 |
| [10:27] | that freaked me out. | 实在让我害怕 |
| [10:29] | You were always easily startled. | 你总爱大惊小怪的 |
| [10:30] | That’s true. He used to hate his jack-in-the-box. | 没错 他以前还讨厌盒子小丑 |
| [10:33] | Crank, crank, crank, cry. | 发脾气 发脾气 发脾气 哭出来 |
| [10:36] | You know I’m right. That thing at the range bothered you, too. | 你知道我说得对 射击场的事也让你担心 |
| [10:39] | Well, you’re not taking my guns. | 你不能夺走我的枪 |
| [10:41] | I have a constitutional right to defend myself. | 宪法赋予我自卫的权利 |
| [10:43] | From what? | 保卫什么 |
| [10:44] | Snowflakes like you trying to take my guns. | 保卫我不会被你这种娇气的人夺走枪 |
| [10:48] | Everybody eventually slips a little. | 每个人老了以后身体都会变差 |
| [10:50] | It’s happening to me, too. | 我也一样 |
| [10:52] | I tried jumping rope with Emme, | 我想跟艾米一起跳绳 |
| [10:53] | I almost had to go to the hospital. | 差点跳进医院里去 |
| [10:55] | Well, I won’t do it. | 我不会妥协的 |
| [10:57] | I’ve already given up everything else worth having. | 我已经放弃了所有 |
| [10:59] | Fried food, hard liquor, tobacco. | 油炸食物 烈酒 雪茄 |
| [11:02] | And that’s the holy trinity. | 那可是神圣三件套 |
| [11:04] | Ma, help me out here. | 妈 帮我说说话 |
| [11:05] | She’s not gonna help you on this. | 这件事她不会向着你的 |
| [11:07] | Actually, I agree with Adam. | 事实上 我同意亚当 |
| [11:09] | Bev. | 贝弗 |
| [11:10] | Joe, y-you accidentally left me | 乔 上周你不小心把我 |
| [11:13] | at the Kmart last week. | 落在凯马特超市了 |
| [11:15] | Why are you assuming that was an accident? | 你为什么觉得我是不小心的 |
| [11:18] | Look, I’m sorry, Dad, but… | 听着 爸爸 我很抱歉 |
| [11:20] | either give me the guns, or… | 但要么你把枪给我 |
| [11:23] | or the kids can’t come over here anymore. | 要么孩子们以后不能再过来了 |
| [11:26] | Well, then, that’s how it’s gonna be. | 那就这样吧 |
| [11:28] | Wait, wait, we don’t get the kids now? | 等等 现在还不让我们带孩子了 |
| [11:30] | Look, forget what I said. Your dad’s fine. | 刚刚的话当我没说 你爸没事 |
| [11:32] | Stop being a snowflake. | 别那么娇气 |
| [11:34] | Really, Dad? | 爸 你确定 |
| [11:35] | That’s your choice? | 这是你的选择 |
| [11:37] | You heard me. | 你听到了 |
| [11:40] | All right, then, I guess I’m leaving. | 好吧 我走了 |
| [11:41] | Good. | 好 |
| [11:42] | Try not to get scared by a clown in a box on your way out. | 出去的时候 小心别被盒子里的小丑吓到 |
| [11:47] | That thing is not a toy. | 那东西根本不是玩具 |
| [11:49] | It’s a horror movie with a handle. | 完全是带着手柄的 恐怖电影 |
| [11:56] | I can’t believe you tattled to my wife. | 不敢相信你跟我老婆告状 |
| [11:58] | Don, why would you shoot him? | 大唐 你为什么开枪打他 |
| [12:00] | I thought you liked this one. | 你不是喜欢这玩意儿吗 |
| [12:02] | It was an accident. | 那是个意外 |
| [12:04] | Or was it? I think he was mad | 是吗 我觉得他是因为 |
| [12:05] | because I wouldn’t give him ranch dressing. | 我不给他牧场沙拉酱就生我的气了 |
| [12:07] | Which is a child’s condiment. | 那东西是给小孩吃的 |
| [12:10] | You’ve got to give Don his ranch, Lowell. | 洛厄尔 得给他吃沙拉酱啊 |
| [12:12] | How’s he gonna eat? | 不然他怎么吃饭 |
| [12:14] | You owe me an apology. | 你欠我一个道歉 |
| [12:16] | You really think I shot you on purpose? | 你真的认为我是故意打你的 |
| [12:18] | That is very hurtful. | 太伤人了 |
| [12:20] | Is it as hurtful as being hit by a hunk of metal | 比被一块时速900英里的金属块击中 |
| [12:23] | flying through the air at 900 miles an hour? | 更伤人吗 |
| [12:26] | Well, I can’t say, because I’ve never been dumb enough | 我不知道 因为我从来没蠢到 |
| [12:28] | to step in front of one. | 往那前面站 |
| [12:30] | So that’s a no on the apology. | 所以你拒绝道歉 |
| [12:32] | Fine. If you’ll excuse me, | 行 恕我失陪 |
| [12:34] | I’m going to leave while I still have my dignity. | 我要在尊严丧尽之前离开这里 |
| [12:41] | Ow, Don. | 疼啊 大唐 |
| [13:00] | I’m sorry about that. | 非常抱歉 |
| [13:03] | But one day you’re gonna be better at this than me, | 但总有一天 你会比我更擅长下棋 |
| [13:05] | and I’ll be okay with that. | 我不会介意的 |
| [13:06] | It’s just the natural order of things, okay? | 这是自然规律 好吗 |
| [13:13] | I win. | 我赢了 |
| [13:16] | It happens sooner than you think. | 发展得迅雷不及掩耳之势 |
| [13:19] | Don’t worry. | 别担心 |
| [13:21] | You can still beat Teddy. | 你还能下赢泰迪的 |
| [13:28] | I talked to your mom today. | 今天我跟你妈妈聊过了 |
| [13:30] | Your dad’s still pretty bent out of shape. | 你爸爸的状态还是很不好 |
| [13:33] | He turned the hose on some Mormons that came by, | 有摩门教徒来的时候 他用水管淋人家 |
| [13:34] | but not even that cheered him up. | 这都没让他开心起来 |
| [13:37] | Maybe you should go over there… | 要不你还是过去 |
| [13:38] | No, no, no, no, no. | 不行 不行 |
| [13:40] | See, this is what my dad does. | 这就是我爸的套路 |
| [13:42] | He acts out, then I feel guilty, | 他演出来 让我觉得内疚 |
| [13:44] | and you always make me go over there and talk to him. | 而你每次都会逼我过去跟他谈谈谈 |
| [13:46] | I’m not doing it this time. | 这次我不会去了 |
| [13:48] | I don’t always do that. | 我哪有每次都逼你 |
| [13:50] | Sometimes your mom does it. | 有时候是你妈逼的 |
| [13:53] | And I’ve been thinking about it. | 我考虑过了 |
| [13:54] | We’re still going to Vegas. | 拉斯维加斯还是要去的 |
| [13:55] | But who’s gonna watch the kids? | 那谁看孩子啊 |
| [13:57] | Well, we’ll bring ’em along. | 带他们一起去 |
| [13:58] | We’ll find someone to watch ’em there. | 到地方再找人看着他们 |
| [13:59] | You can pay a woman to do anything in Vegas. | 在拉斯维加斯 你可以花钱让女人做任何事 |
| [14:02] | Hi, Adam. | 亚当 |
| [14:04] | Here comes the other one. I don’t care how mad he is, | 二人组齐了 我不管他有多生气 |
| [14:06] | I’m not going over there. | 我是不会去的 |
| [14:07] | I just came to tell you I’ve got your dad’s guns | 我是来告诉你 我把你爸爸的枪 |
| [14:09] | in the trunk of my car. | 都收到我车的后备箱里了 |
| [14:11] | Seriously? | 真的吗 |
| [14:12] | Is Dad in there, too? | 我爸也在里面吗 |
| [14:16] | H-He’s not gonna pop out like a jack-in-the-box, is he? | 他不会像盒子小丑一样蹦出来吧 |
| [14:20] | No, he gave them up. | 不会 他放弃了 |
| [14:22] | He said he realized you’re right, | 他说你说得对 |
| [14:24] | and he has to confront the reality of getting older. | 他不得不面对自己日益变老的事实 |
| [14:31] | What did he really say? | 他原话是什么 |
| [14:33] | He said “Get these damn things out of my house,” | 他说 把这些破玩意拿走 |
| [14:35] | and something about his son being dead to him, | 还有就当他没有这个儿子 |
| [14:37] | but he could’ve been talking about Don. | 不过也许他说的是大唐 |
| [14:40] | Adam, are-are you hearing this? | 亚当 你听到了吧 |
| [14:42] | I mean, you changed two people’s minds this week. | 一周之内 你改变了两个人的心意 |
| [14:46] | I actually think you might be able to get that bra on my mom. | 我觉得你都可以说服我妈穿文胸了 |
| [14:50] | It’d be great if you could do it before Thanksgiving. | 请你在感恩节之前搞定 |
| [14:52] | I don’t want my mashed potatoes ruined again. | 我不希望再一次毁掉我的土豆泥 |
| [14:57] | Honey, what’s wrong? You don’t look happy. Eh… | 亲爱的 怎么了 一脸的不高兴 |
| [15:00] | I know my dad. That couldn’t have been easy for him. | 我了解我爸 他肯定难受死了 |
| [15:03] | If only he had someone to talk it through with. | 要是有人能劝劝他就好了 |
| [15:08] | Interesting, Bev. | 这样啊 贝弗 |
| [15:12] | But who should it be? | 那谁能去劝呢 |
| [15:17] | Nice show, ladies. | 戏不错 女士们 |
| [15:19] | All right. I’m going. | 行吧 我去 |
| [15:21] | If he squirts me with the hose, I’m taking that away, too. | 要是他用水管喷我 水管我要没收的 |
| [15:26] | Hey, Lowell. | 洛厄尔 |
| [15:28] | What brings you by? | 什么风把你们吹来了 |
| [15:29] | Is she gonna hold me down while you finish me off, | 你用枪处决我的时候 她是来帮你 |
| [15:31] | execution style? | 把我按在地上的吗 |
| [15:35] | We’re here because when my husband’s unhappy, I’m unhappy. | 我们之所以来 是因为我老公不开心 我也不开心 |
| [15:39] | So let’s fix this. | 我们来解决问题 |
| [15:40] | Okay? You think that Don shot you | 你觉得大唐开枪打了你 |
| [15:42] | because on some deeper level, he was mad at you. | 是因为他内心深处 在生你的气 |
| [15:45] | But I-I know from experience, Don only has one level. | 但从我的经验来看 大唐内心没有深处 |
| [15:49] | That’s true. I’m an emotional pancake, baby. | 是的 我的情绪一览无余 宝贝 |
| [15:53] | But he is sorry. So to make things right, | 他很抱歉 所以我们弥补一下 |
| [15:55] | there’s only one solution. | 只有一个方法 |
| [15:56] | Lowell, shoot Don in the butt. | 洛厄尔 开枪打大唐的屁股 |
| [16:00] | What? That’s crazy. | 什么 这太疯狂了 |
| [16:02] | Look, you’re my friend, | 听着 你是我的朋友 |
| [16:03] | and if this will make things okay between us, | 如果这可以恢复我们的友谊 |
| [16:05] | then I’m willing to turn the other cheek. | 我心甘情愿把另一边脸「屁股蛋」给你 |
| [16:07] | And let you shoot me in it. | 让你开枪打它 |
| [16:11] | You’ve never called me your friend before. | 你从来没叫过我朋友 |
| [16:13] | I’ll do it. | 我愿意 |
| [16:14] | What? | 什么 |
| [16:16] | Marcy, you said he wouldn’t do it. | 玛茜 你说他不会打我的 |
| [16:18] | No, Lowell, this was just a gesture. | 不 洛厄尔 这只是做个姿态 |
| [16:19] | I can’t let you shoot my husband. | 我不会让你开枪打我丈夫的 |
| [16:22] | I won’t. I just wanted to scare him a little. | 我不会打的 我只是想吓唬他一下 |
| [16:25] | How do you put this thing on safety? | 要怎么把保险上了 |
| [16:30] | Eh, he had it coming. | 他活该 |
| [16:42] | I heard you had a little fun with the hose earlier. | 听说你刚刚玩水管玩得挺开心的 |
| [16:45] | You’re not taking that away. | 你不能拿走水管 |
| [16:47] | That nozzle’s the last thing I have with a trigger. | 那个喷嘴是我唯一带扳机开关的东西了 |
| [16:51] | I was just looking out for you. | 我只是关心你 |
| [16:55] | Well, you weren’t entirely, uh, | 你也不是百分之百 |
| [16:58] | 100% completely… wrong. | 完全地错误 |
| [17:02] | That might be the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me. | 这好像是你对我说过的最好听的话了 |
| [17:05] | Look, I’m not mad at you. | 听着 我没有生你的气 |
| [17:08] | I’m mad at time. | 我气的是时光 |
| [17:10] | You know, some day one of your kids | 总有一天 你的孩子 |
| [17:12] | is gonna show up and take away your stuff. | 会来把你的东西夺走 |
| [17:15] | Oof, you’re right. | 你说得对 |
| [17:16] | It’ll probably be Emme. | 可能会是艾米 |
| [17:18] | She just kicked my ass at checkers. | 她才用西洋棋打得我屁滚尿流 |
| [17:20] | It didn’t feel good, did it? | 感觉很糟糕 对不对 |
| [17:21] | No. | 对 |
| [17:24] | But you know, there are some upsides to getting older. | 可是变老还是有些好处的 |
| [17:27] | Yeah? Name one. | 是吗 举个例子 |
| [17:33] | You can give anyone you want the finger, | 你可以对任何人竖中指 |
| [17:35] | and they won’t try and fight you. | 他们都不会来打你的 |
| [17:38] | Yeah, I do enjoy that. | 没错 这点我是很满意 |
| [17:41] | and if you don’t want to talk to someone, | 还有你不想跟谁说话 |
| [17:42] | you just pretend you can’t hear ’em. | 就假装听不见 |
| [17:44] | What’d you say? | 你说什么 |
| [17:45] | I said if you don’t want to t… | 我说你不想跟谁 |
| [17:48] | – Nice. – Ah, I’m still funnier than you. | -漂亮 -我还是比你幽默 |
| [17:51] | And I can shoot straighter, too. | 我的枪法也比你好 |
| [17:53] | I know, Dad. | 我知道 爸爸 |
| [17:55] | Look, nothing’s changed. | 什么都没变 |
| [17:58] | Okay? | 好吗 |
| [18:03] | You know, the toughest part about this whole thing is… | 这件事最难的是 以前我不知道怎么做时 |
| [18:07] | when I’m not sure what to do, I ask you. | 我会来问你 |
| [18:11] | But because this was about you, | 可这件事跟你有关 |
| [18:14] | I had to do it on my own. | 我不得不靠我自己 |
| [18:16] | That’s why it went so poorly. | 所以办得这么糟心 |
| [18:19] | You know, | 你知道 |
| [18:21] | I just thought of another upside: | 我又想到了一个优点 |
| [18:23] | if you do things right, | 如果你做得够好 |
| [18:25] | you raise a kid who cares enough to really piss you off. | 就会养出一个会关心人的孩子 把你气的要死 |
| [18:31] | And you are just full of compliments today. | 今天你的嘴这是抹蜜了 |
| [18:35] | Do I smell chicken, or am I having a stroke? | 是我闻到鸡肉味了 还要中风了 |
| [18:38] | You know, I figured, | 我觉得 |
| [18:40] | if you got to give something up, | 如果你要放弃一样东西 |
| [18:41] | you should get something back, right? | 应该得到些回报 对不对 |
| [18:43] | Fried food, | 油炸食品 |
| [18:46] | hard liquor…. Ah. | 烈酒 |
| [18:48] | …and tobacco. | 还有雪茄 |
| [18:49] | – The holy trinity. – The holy trinity. | -神圣三件套 -神圣三件套 |
| [18:54] | These are Cubans, huh? | 古巴货 |
| [18:55] | Those Commies know how to roll a stogie. | 那些共党很会卷雪茄 |
| [18:58] | And Mom never has to know. | 不会让妈妈知道的 |
| [19:00] | Oh, she doesn’t scare me. | 她吓不到我 |
| [19:02] | But we better crack a window. | 不过我们还是把窗户打开吧 |
| [19:03] | She’s got guns now. | 现在她有枪了 |
| [19:06] | I’m back, baby. | 我回来了 宝贝 |
| [19:17] | All right, that’s the guns all locked up. | 好的 所有的枪都锁好了 |
| [19:20] | Listen, Dad. If you ever want to go shooting, | 爸爸 如果你什么时候想打枪了 |
| [19:23] | – I’d be happy to take you to the range. – Sounds good. | -我很乐意陪你去射击场 -很好 |
| [19:25] | There’s a great chicken joint on that side of town. | 射击场附近有家炸鸡店 |
| [19:27] | Ooh. Okay, you can stop with the whispering. | 好了 你们不用那么小声说 |
| [19:28] | I know about the fried chicken. | 我知道炸鸡的事 |
| [19:30] | Our house smells like Colonel Sanders got drunk | 家里的味道像肯德基上校在我家喝醉了 |
| [19:32] | and caught on fire. | 然后引发过火灾一样 |
| [19:34] | Okay, Bev, so we’ll drop the kids by Friday afternoon | 贝弗 我们周五下午去机场的时候 |
| [19:36] | on our way to the airport? | 把孩子送你那去行吗 |
| [19:38] | Oh, we won’t be home then. | 那时候我们不在家 |
| [19:39] | It’s been a stressful week, | 这周压力太大了 |
| [19:41] | and Joe wants to get out of town for a few days. | 乔想出去几天散散心 |
| [19:43] | Yeah, all that Vegas talk put me in the mood. | 你总提拉斯维加斯 勾起了我的兴致 |
| [19:46] | – What? – You take away my guns, I take away your Vegas. | -什么 -你夺走我的枪 我就拿走你的赌城 |