| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | Previously on Man With A Plan… | 《老爸有招》前情回顾 |
| [00:03] | This is such a fun way to celebrate | 这种庆祝方式真有趣 |
| [00:05] | you guys finishing the mini mall. | 恭喜你们完成了小型商场的项目 |
| [00:07] | Hey, did Lisa say what our next project is? Mm-mm. | 丽莎有没有说下个项目是什么 |
| [00:09] | The next project I will be working on is… | 我即将要开始的大项目是 |
| [00:13] | myself! | 我自己 |
| [00:14] | I’m going on sabbatical. | 我要去休假了 |
| [00:16] | So what are we gonna be building? | 那我们要建造什么 |
| [00:18] | Well, I don’t know about you two, | 我不知道你们如何 |
| [00:19] | but I’ll be building a new me. | 但我要创造一个新的自己 |
| [00:21] | She might have to take that thing down to the studs. | 那可得脱胎换骨才行 |
| [00:27] | We just lost our jobs. | 我们失业了 |
| [00:28] | This commercial is important to Burns Brothers, | 这个广告对伯恩斯兄弟很重要 |
| [00:30] | so I think I should meet the guy who’s playing me. | 所以我应该来见见这个演我的人 |
| [00:32] | – I’m Leif Forrest. – I’m sorry? | -我叫擎人·福瑞斯特 -什么 |
| [00:34] | Leif… Forrest. | 擎人·福瑞斯特 |
| [00:37] | – What’s the matter? – I just got laid off. | -怎么了 -我刚刚被解雇了 |
| [00:40] | I guess now neither of us are working. | 看来我们都没有工作了 |
| [00:46] | Oh, okay, kids. Your carpool’s here. | 好了 孩子们 你们的拼车到了 |
| [00:48] | You guys aren’t going anywhere today? | 你们今天哪里都不去吗 |
| [00:50] | Teddy, I told you we’re temporarily unemployed. | 泰迪 我跟你说了 我们暂时没有工作 |
| [00:52] | I want to be unemployed. | 我也想没有工作 |
| [00:54] | Oh, you will be. | 你肯定会的 |
| [00:58] | Okay, let’s not be so honest. Come on. | 行了 瞎说什么大实话 快去吧 |
| [01:02] | So we’re busting our humps all day | 我们要忙碌一整天 |
| [01:04] | while you two get to sit around? | 你们却可以闲坐着吗 |
| [01:06] | Yeah, it’s like we’re the kids now. | 对 就好像我们变成了孩子 |
| [01:09] | Bring us back some food and money. | 你们记得带钱和吃的回来 |
| [01:16] | Ah, look at us. | 看看咱们俩 |
| [01:18] | We got the house to ourselves. | 房子里现在只有我们 |
| [01:19] | You know, we should make the most of this. | 咱们应该充分享受这一刻 |
| [01:22] | Yeah, well, we’re not gonna be unemployed long. | 咱们不会失业太久的 |
| [01:24] | I got my commercial running, you sent out résumés. | 我的广告放出去了 你也发了简历 |
| [01:27] | Oh, and they really stand out ’cause they include a bribe. | 我的简历一定会脱颖而出 因为有贿赂 |
| [01:31] | See, I clipped a Starbucks gift card to each one. | 每封简历我都附上了一张星巴克礼品卡 |
| [01:35] | Andi, those things cost money. | 安迪 那些要花钱 |
| [01:37] | Not if you don’t put any money on it. | 没充值就不花钱 |
| [01:41] | That’s my girl. | 真是我家宝贝 |
| [01:43] | My thrifty, morally-challenged girl. | 勤俭节约 有点缺德的宝贝 |
| [01:47] | See, this is what I’m talking about. | 你看 我就是这意思 |
| [01:48] | We should just enjoy being together. | 我们应该享受在一起的时光 |
| [01:51] | Yeah. You’re my favorite person. | 对 你是我最喜欢的人 |
| [01:54] | I’m your favorite person. | 我也是你最喜欢的人 |
| [01:56] | We’re like those two trees in the backyard | 我们就像后院的两棵树 |
| [01:57] | that grow closer together every year. | 每年都向彼此更靠近一点 |
| [02:01] | Oh. That is poetic. | 哇 好有诗意 |
| [02:02] | I love your stories. | 好喜欢听你讲故事 |
| [02:04] | It’s so charming how you see the world. Oh. | 你对世界的理解很有魅力 |
| [02:07] | You know, that boy tree is ten years younger | 其实男树比女树年轻十岁 |
| [02:08] | than the girl tree. Pretty good for her, huh? | 她是不是挺幸运的 |
| [02:10] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [02:13] | Oh, yeah, come on. Get those puppies up here. | 好的 把你的两只小狗狗放上来吧 |
| [02:16] | So… | 所以 |
| [02:18] | What should we do today? | 我们今天做什么 |
| [02:20] | I say that we watch TV, and only get up | 不如我们看电视吧 一直看到 |
| [02:23] | when we need to replace the batteries in the remote. | 遥控器需要换电池再起身 |
| [02:27] | I do not deserve you. | 我真是配不上你 |
| [02:30] | No man does. | 没人配得上 |
| [02:40] | Yesterday when I was getting the mail, | 昨天我出去拿信的时候 |
| [02:42] | I saw this caterpillar inching his way down the sidewalk. | 看到一只毛毛虫在走道上爬 |
| [02:47] | It looked exactly like… | 看起来特别像 |
| [02:48] | The neighbor lady’s mustache. | 咱们女邻居的胡子 |
| [02:50] | Yeah. | 对 |
| [02:54] | You’ve told that story twice. | 这事你已经讲过两次了 |
| [02:57] | Thought I was poetic. | 你不是说我有诗意吗 |
| [02:59] | People repeat poems. | 诗经常会被重复 |
| [03:02] | Might I remind you of the “Man from Nantucket” Series? | 要我给你讲讲《南塔科特的男人》系列吗 |
| [03:05] | As in, “There once was a man from Nantucket”? | 开头是”有个男人来自南塔科特” |
| [03:06] | Okay, yeah, yeah, I got it. | 好了 我知道了 |
| [03:15] | Uh… what’s this? | 这是什么 |
| [03:20] | My puppies. | 我的小狗狗 |
| [03:22] | Arf, arf. | 汪汪 |
| [03:27] | Foot person gets the remote, too? | 脚放上来还拿着遥控器 |
| [03:30] | Ugh. I guess the rich get richer. | 两极分化可真严重 |
| [03:33] | What’s wrong? | 怎么了 |
| [03:34] | I just can’t sit around all day | 我没办法坐一整天 |
| [03:36] | with your hot feet in my lap | 大腿上放着你的烫脚 |
| [03:38] | watching reruns of the Gilmore Girls. | 电视里还在反复播《吉尔莫女孩》 |
| [03:40] | I get it. You had your daughter young. | 我知道 你很小就生了女儿 |
| [03:42] | Move on. You’re making me crazy! | 行了吧 都要把我逼疯了 |
| [03:47] | Okay, well, you want to watch Rush Hour 3 again | 好 那你想再看一次《尖峰时刻》吗 |
| [03:50] | so you can say every line along with the actors? | 好让你跟着那些演员一起说台词 |
| [03:53] | I do that? | 我会这样吗 |
| [03:54] | Yeah. It’s funny. | 会 很搞笑 |
| [03:56] | At first. Oh. | 一开始而已 |
| [03:59] | Look, I love you very much, but… | 亚当 我很爱你 但是 |
| [04:04] | Okay, I’m just gonna say it. | 我就直说了 |
| [04:06] | I’m sick of being around you. | 我不想跟你一起待着了 |
| [04:08] | That is music to my ears. | 你这么说我太开心了 |
| [04:11] | I’m sick of being around you, too! | 我也不想跟你一起待着了 |
| [04:14] | We are so cute. | 我们真般配 |
| [04:17] | Hey, so, how do we get you back to work? Ugh. | 该怎么让你继续工作呢 |
| [04:20] | You know, I mean, do we go out and knock on some doors | 难道我们要出去到处敲门 |
| [04:22] | and see who needs new kitchens? | 看谁需要重装厨房吗 |
| [04:24] | The quickest way to put me back to work | 让我恢复工作最快的办法 |
| [04:26] | is to get Lisa McCaffrey out of her cuckoo’s nest. | 是让丽莎·麦卡弗雷别再疯了 |
| [04:30] | So let’s take her out for drinks. | 那就带她出去喝酒 |
| [04:32] | Maybe we can speed this whole thing up, | 也许我们可以加个速 |
| [04:35] | you know, patch the cracks in her attic. | 修一修她脑子里的砖砖瓦瓦 |
| [04:38] | That’s a great idea. | 这主意不错 |
| [04:40] | – We’re a great team. – We are. | -我们很适合彼此 -对 |
| [04:42] | We were meant to be together. | 注定要在一起 |
| [04:44] | Just not all the time. | 但不是一直在一起 |
| [04:46] | Exactly. | 没错 |
| [04:49] | I’m gonna go read a book in the pantry. | 我去库房看书去 |
| [04:52] | Anywhere but here, baby. | 离开这里吧 宝贝 |
| [05:06] | I’m just saying, if you’d seen the caterpillar, | 我就是说说 你要是看到了那个毛毛虫 |
| [05:08] | you’d like the story better. | 我的故事听起来会更有趣 |
| [05:10] | It looked exactly like a mustache. | 完全跟胡子一模一样 |
| [05:12] | It was Tom Selleck on a sidewalk. | 简直是汤姆·赛立克在人行道上 |
| [05:14] | Stay focused, okay? | 专心点 好吗 |
| [05:16] | We’ve got to cheer Lisa up | 我们得让丽莎打起精神 |
| [05:17] | so we can get both of you back to work. | 这样你们俩才能恢复工作 |
| [05:20] | This morning, I needed alone time so bad, | 今天早上 我太想一个人待着了 |
| [05:22] | almost went on a walk. | 差点就去散步了 |
| [05:24] | A walk, Adam. | 散步啊 亚当 |
| [05:27] | Here she comes. Okay, remember, | 她来了 你要记住 |
| [05:28] | this is just a patch job. | 我们只负责修复 |
| [05:30] | We’re not responsible for any structural problems. | 任何结构上的问题不负责 |
| [05:33] | And no matter what she says, | 不管她说什么 |
| [05:34] | we tell her she’s making progress, okay? | 我们都要说这是很大的进步 懂吗 |
| [05:36] | – Got it. – Hey, hey! | -好的 -来啦 |
| [05:37] | – Hi. – Hello, you two. | -你好呀 -你们好 |
| [05:38] | Lisa. | 丽莎 |
| [05:40] | Ah, it’s so good to see you. | 见到你真开心 |
| [05:41] | How-how you doing? Oh. | 你最近怎么样 |
| [05:43] | Wildly depressed. | 抑郁到要疯了 |
| [05:46] | I haven’t felt this lonely since my divorce. | 离婚之后我就没感到这么孤独过 |
| [05:48] | I started talking to my reflection in the mirror, | 我开始跟镜子里的倒影对话 |
| [05:50] | but conversation is difficult | 但是很难聊得起来 |
| [05:51] | because we keep interrupting each other. | 因为我们总是打断彼此 |
| [05:55] | That right there– that is textbook progress. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. | 你这个 简直就是教科书式进步 |
| [05:59] | I say it’s time to get back on the job. | 我觉得是时候继续工作了 |
| [06:01] | Yeah, that’s true. Yeah, yeah. | 说得对 没错 |
| [06:02] | Studies show | 有研究表明 |
| [06:03] | that people who quit working die almost immediately. Hmm. | 辞去工作的人几乎是立刻就死去 |
| [06:07] | Well, the way I’ve been feeling, | 就我个人的感觉来看 |
| [06:08] | it could be months before I get back to work. | 我回去工作大概是几个月后了 |
| [06:12] | Hmm. Well… You know what? Uh, I should go. | 算了 其实我该走了 |
| [06:15] | It’s, uh, difficult for me to be around couples right now, | 我现在不太能跟夫妻待在一起 |
| [06:19] | especially old ones like you | 尤其是你们这种 |
| [06:21] | who’ve made it through most of their lives together. | 大半辈子都一起走过来的老夫老妻 |
| [06:26] | Okay, bye. | 好了 拜 |
| [06:32] | That’s the meanest compliment we’ve ever gotten. | 这是我们听过最扎心的夸奖了吧 |
| [06:35] | Yeah, but at least now we know what she needs. | 对 但至少现在我们知道她需要什么了 |
| [06:38] | Yeah. A straitjacket. | 对 精神病院紧身衣 |
| [06:40] | No. A man. | 不 是男人 |
| [06:41] | Yeah, a man to put on the straitjacket, | 对 要人帮她穿上紧身衣 |
| [06:43] | ’cause you can’t put those on by yourself. | 那种衣服一个人穿不上的 |
| [06:45] | That’s why magicians have assistants. | 所以魔术师都有助手 |
| [06:47] | Okay, look, Lisa said she was too lonely to work, | 是这样 丽莎说她太孤单了不想工作 |
| [06:50] | and I get it. It’s-it’s… it’s hard on your own. | 我理解 一个人过是挺辛苦的 |
| [06:52] | So if we fix her up with someone, we fix her. | 要是我们能给她找个伴 就能修好她 |
| [06:57] | Yeah, having someone at home | 是啊 家里有人在的话 |
| [06:59] | really makes you want to get out of the house. | 真的会很想出门 |
| [07:01] | Let’s make a love connection, Adam. | 我们来牵线搭桥吧 亚当 |
| [07:03] | Great. All right, let’s go home. | 好 咱们回家 |
| [07:05] | I’ll make a list of some guys I don’t like. | 我来列一下我不喜欢的男人 |
| [07:06] | Spit that out. We can’t afford to eat here. | 吐出来 我们吃不起这里的东西 |
| [07:11] | I can’t think of anyone I dislike enough to set up with Lisa. | 我想不到谁能让我讨厌到要介绍给丽莎 |
| [07:15] | Do we know anyone who just got out of prison? | 有没有谁刚从监狱出来的 |
| [07:18] | I mean, you know, those guys aren’t picky, | 那些人肯定不挑剔 |
| [07:20] | and they’re used to crazy roommates. | 而且也很适应疯子室友 |
| [07:22] | Okay, uh, hey, listen, before we go in there, fair warning. | 好吧 进去之前 我先预警一下 |
| [07:25] | I am laying down on that couch. | 我准备躺在沙发上 |
| [07:27] | Now, it’s fine if you want to sit on top of me, | 你要是想坐在我身上也可以 |
| [07:29] | but just be prepared to finish what you start. | 但你要是挑起战斗就别后悔 |
| [07:31] | Okay. | 好 |
| [07:34] | Aw, come on! | 搞什么 |
| [07:38] | Unemployment blows. | 失业太惨了 |
| [07:40] | Yeah, tell me about it. | 可不是吗 |
| [07:41] | I’m looking at a guy with my pillow between his legs. | 有个人都把我枕头夹在大腿中间了 |
| [07:47] | Check it out. Rush Hour 3. | 你看 《尖峰时刻3》 |
| [07:51] | Just got dark. That means it’s not weird | 天黑了 也就是说 我就算去睡觉 |
| [07:53] | for me to go to bed. Good night, guys. | 也不会太奇怪 晚安两位 |
| [07:59] | – Hey, so listen, we just saw Lisa. – Yeah. | -对了 我们今天见了丽莎 -好 |
| [08:02] | She’s depressed because she’s lonely. | 她抑郁是因为太孤单 |
| [08:04] | Andi thinks we can get her back to work if we find her a guy. | 安迪觉得要是能给她找个伴 她就能恢复 |
| [08:08] | That makes sense. | 有道理 |
| [08:09] | When she realized she couldn’t have me, | 她意识到无法拥有我的时候 |
| [08:11] | she started going downhill. | 就开始走下坡路 |
| [08:14] | So who’s the unlucky fella? | 所以这位不幸的男人是谁 |
| [08:15] | Well, I don’t know yet, | 我现在还不知道 |
| [08:17] | but it shouldn’t be that hard to find one. | 但是应该不难找吧 |
| [08:18] | Yeah. Getting a girl is hard. | 是啊 找女孩比较难 |
| [08:20] | Getting a guy who wants a girl is easy. | 但是找想要女孩的男人很简单 |
| [08:22] | All we got to do is tell him we got a girl. | 我们只需要说 我们有个女孩 |
| [08:25] | Yeah, I mean, we got the beer. | 是啊 啤酒都有了 |
| [08:26] | We’re just looking for the party. | 派对还会远吗 |
| [08:28] | Yeah. Yeah. | 对 |
| [08:29] | Look, I know playing matchmaker’s a little weird, | 我知道当月老挺奇怪的 |
| [08:31] | but I got to do something. Yeah. | 但我真的得采取措施 |
| [08:33] | Andi and I are spending all our time together, | 我跟安迪整天待在一起 |
| [08:35] | and I just discovered– I can be a lot to take. | 我刚发现 我有时候挺难缠的 |
| [08:39] | Yeah, me, too, but I didn’t have to discover. | 我也是 但我不用自己发现 |
| [08:41] | Marcy told me ten minutes before I got here. | 我来这里十分钟前玛茜跟我说了 |
| [08:44] | Hmm. Yeah. When I walk in the door, | 对啊 我走进家里的时候 |
| [08:46] | I want my wife to be happy to see me, | 希望我妻子看到我很开心 |
| [08:48] | and the key to that is less of me. | 关键在于 我要少出现 |
| [08:52] | – All right. – I just wish we had another place to hang out. | -好 -真希望我们还有其他地方可以玩 |
| [08:56] | Hey, you got the basement. | 你有地下室 |
| [08:57] | Let’s move a couch and a TV down there. | 把沙发和电视搬下去吧 |
| [08:59] | Oh, I’d love to, but it won’t fit. There’s no room. | 我很乐意 但是放不下 没地方 |
| [09:02] | Aah. Andi’s giant treadmill’s down there. | 安迪的跑步机在下面 |
| [09:05] | Does she use it? | 她会用吗 |
| [09:08] | We don’t talk about it. | 我们不聊这个 |
| [09:11] | Well, so ask her if you can get rid of it. | 那你问问她能不能扔了 |
| [09:13] | What are you, a newlywed? | 你是刚结婚吗 |
| [09:15] | No. Huh? | 不是 |
| [09:16] | Everyone knows you can’t talk to women about exercising. | 谁都知道不能跟女人聊锻炼的事 |
| [09:20] | The last time I mentioned it, it did not go well. | 上次我提到的时候 结局很不美好 |
| [09:25] | Hey, yoga pants, heading down to the basement to exercise? | 穿着运动裤 是准备去楼下锻炼吗 |
| [09:31] | Well, I am now. | 你都催我去了 |
| [09:37] | That was a quiet weekend. | 那个周末很安静 |
| [09:40] | Ooh. I know what I’ll do. | 我知道该怎么做了 |
| [09:41] | I’ll just throw it away, and I won’t say anything. | 我直接扔掉 然后什么都不说 |
| [09:44] | That could work. | 可以的 |
| [09:45] | That’s what I do when Marcy cooks a meatloaf. | 玛茜每次做了烘肉卷我就这么干 |
| [09:53] | I’m so glad you guys called. | 你们能打给我太好了 |
| [09:55] | I’ve been stuck home with my kids. | 我一直跟孩子们待在家里 |
| [09:56] | They tell the same stories over and over. | 他们总把同样的故事说好几遍 |
| [10:00] | Lowell, if it’s a good story, it never gets old. | 洛厄尔 要是故事有趣 那就不会过时 |
| [10:04] | Okay, come on, guys. | 大家一起想想 |
| [10:05] | We got to figure out who to set Lisa up with. Mm. | 我们得想办法给丽莎安排相亲 |
| [10:07] | We need a gentleman. | 需要找一位绅士 |
| [10:08] | I’ll check out the bathroom, and come back | 我去洗手间看看 我就找一个 |
| [10:09] | with the first guy who washes his hands. | 出来之后会洗手的人 |
| [10:16] | Okay, check out the guy behind me. | 你看我身后那人 |
| [10:17] | His date is a book. | 他的伴侣是本书 |
| [10:18] | – Watch this. – Oh, yeah. | -看着 -是啊 |
| [10:22] | Hey, uh, I noticed you were alone, and, uh… | 我注意到你似乎一个人坐 |
| [10:25] | we’ve got a girl. | 我们有个女孩 |
| [10:28] | That sounds creepy. | 听起来好可怕 |
| [10:30] | No, no. She’s not in a cage or anything. | 不 不是说她被关在笼子里什么的 |
| [10:34] | Listen, I know the manager. | 听着 我认识这里的经理 |
| [10:35] | What’s your name? | 你叫什么名字 |
| [10:37] | Uh, Lowell. My name’s Lowell. | 洛尔尔 我叫洛尔尔 |
| [10:45] | I think we might need the actual girl here | 我觉得这招需要有一个姑娘 |
| [10:47] | for this to work. Yeah. | 真的坐在这里才行 |
| [10:49] | You’re-you’re overcomplicating it. | 你把这事搞得太复杂了 |
| [10:52] | See leather jacket over there? Yeah. | 看到那个穿皮夹克的了吗 |
| [10:53] | I’ll just tell him what I wanted people to tell me | 我只需要对他说出 我自己坐在酒吧时 |
| [10:55] | when I was sitting alone in bars. | 希望听到的话 |
| [10:56] | Watch. | 瞧好了 |
| [11:01] | Hey, big guy. | 大家伙 |
| [11:02] | You look strong. | 你好壮哦 |
| [11:06] | What’d you say to me? | 你刚刚跟我说什么 |
| [11:07] | Nothing. My name’s Lowell. | 没什么 我叫洛厄尔 |
| [11:11] | Yeah, I-I’m out of here. I’m going home. | 好了 我要离开这里 回家了 |
| [11:12] | Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Sit down. | 等等 坐下 |
| [11:14] | We got to find a guy for Lisa so we can get back to work. | 我们得给丽萨找个男人 才能有活可做 |
| [11:17] | The men’s room was a bad idea. | 男厕所这个主意太糟了 |
| [11:19] | I made a mistake by leading with, | 我用错了开场白 |
| [11:20] | “Are you looking for a good time?” | 想不想找点乐子 |
| [11:24] | Frankly, I’m lucky to be alive. | 说实话 我能活着回来就是走运了 |
| [11:26] | Well, we’re not doing much better out here. | 我们这里也没什么收获 |
| [11:28] | Oh, and if anybody asks, your name is not Lowell. | 如果有任何人问起 你绝对不叫洛厄尔 |
| [11:32] | Wait, wait, what about this guy? | 等等 这个人怎么样 |
| [11:34] | The chicken wing model. | 鸡翅模特 |
| [11:35] | That’s Leif Forrest, the actor we hired | 是擎人·福瑞斯特 我们雇的那个演员 |
| [11:37] | to replace you in the commercial. | 代替你出演广告的那个 |
| [11:39] | Lisa would like him. He’s single and handsome. | 丽萨会喜欢他的 他单身又帅 |
| [11:41] | We fired him. He doesn’t like us. | 我们把他炒掉了 他不会喜欢我们的 |
| [11:43] | But he likes me. He accidentally put me into a group text, | 可他喜欢我 他不小心把我拉进一个群了 |
| [11:46] | and I’ve been quite active. | 我在里面可活跃了 |
| [11:49] | Well, if you can get him on board, I’m all for it. | 如果你可以让他来 我肯定支持 |
| [11:52] | Great. I’ll have him meet us for lunch. | 很好 我约他跟我们吃午餐 |
| [11:54] | We don’t want one of these guys, anyway. | 刚好我们还是别在这里找了 |
| [11:55] | Word in the bathroom is there’s a creep here | 厕所里听到的 这里有个变态 |
| [11:57] | saying he’s got a lady in a cage. | 说他把一个姑娘关笼子里了 |
| [12:09] | Okay, so, Marcy and I will get Lisa on board | 好的 我和玛茜负责让丽萨过来 |
| [12:11] | with this blind date thing. | 同意这次相亲 |
| [12:12] | Okay, great. And then Don and I | 很好 我和大唐 |
| [12:13] | will work on Pittsburgh’s gift to acting, | 去说服匹兹堡天赋演员 |
| [12:15] | Leif Forrest. | 擎人·福瑞斯特 |
| [12:17] | If we play this right, I will have a job | 如果这招用好了 我马上就有工作了 |
| [12:19] | to go to every day. | 可以每天上班 |
| [12:21] | It’s gonna be nice to miss you, baby. | 思念你的时光一定很美好 宝贝 |
| [12:26] | Oh, Andi, come quick! | 安迪 快乐 |
| [12:28] | Is it the caterpillar? | 是毛毛虫吗 |
| [12:31] | How do you not want to see it? | 你怎么会不想看呢 |
| [12:36] | Okay, listen. All we got to do is convince this guy | 听着 我们只需要说服这个男人 |
| [12:38] | to hook up with Lisa | 跟丽萨搞好关系 |
| [12:39] | and take a ride down Bonkers Boulevard. | 然后带她去精神病大街溜一圈 |
| [12:42] | Go for a swim in Lunatic Lake. | 然后去疯子湖游一圈 |
| [12:44] | Yeah. | 对 |
| [12:45] | Hop on the Screw Loose Caboose. | 跳上精神失常列车 |
| [12:48] | Here he is. | 他来了 |
| [12:48] | – Adam, Don, you remember Leif. – Sure we do. | -亚当 大唐 记得擎人吧 -当然了 |
| [12:51] | From when we fired you. | 我们开除过的 |
| [12:53] | Ah, it’s okay. I’m used to hostility. | 没关系 我习惯别人的敌意了 |
| [12:55] | Regular looking people don’t know how to deal with me. | 普通长相的人 不懂怎么跟我接触 |
| [12:58] | Yeah. Uh, have a seat. | 对 请坐吧 |
| [13:00] | Okay. | 好 |
| [13:04] | Leif, I know we’ve had our differences, | 擎人 我们虽然各有不同 |
| [13:06] | but the reason we brought you here is… | 但我们让你来的原因是 |
| [13:08] | we’ve got a girl. | 我们有个姑娘 |
| [13:10] | Never been in a cage. | 从来没关在过笼子里 |
| [13:12] | She’s cage-free, like those chickens. | 她没进过笼子 跟溜达鸡一样 |
| [13:15] | Look, she’s a friend of ours, and she’s single. | 她是我们的一个朋友 单身 |
| [13:17] | And my gut tells me she has not been mingled with | 我的直觉告诉我 她已经很久没有 |
| [13:19] | in quite some time. | 雨露滋润过了 |
| [13:21] | And we thought you might be a good match for her. | 我们觉得你俩挺配的 |
| [13:23] | Yeah. We felt bad for firing you. | 对 对开除你的事 感到抱歉 |
| [13:25] | The least we could do is find you a lovemaking partner. | 我们只能帮你找个床伴弥补你了 |
| [13:28] | I’m listening. | 我洗耳恭听 |
| [13:31] | So, Adam and I couldn’t help but notice | 我和亚当都注意到了 |
| [13:33] | that you’re sort of missing a companion in your life. | 你生活中缺了一个伴儿 |
| [13:36] | You know, and we both love being in relationships. | 我们都喜欢有感情生活 |
| [13:39] | Most of the time. | 大部分时间吧 |
| [13:40] | But, um, we thought we could help. | 不过 我们可以帮你的 |
| [13:42] | Oh, you would do that? | 你们愿意吗 |
| [13:44] | Well, it might be nice | 如果可以 |
| [13:45] | to share my life with someone special. | 跟一个特殊的人分享我生活也不错 |
| [13:48] | Well, great. So what kind of man are you looking for? Hmm. | 很好 你想找个什么样的男人 |
| [13:51] | A handsome doctor. | 帅气的医生 |
| [13:53] | Well, I don’t want to be shallow about this. | 我不想太肤浅 |
| [13:56] | Just handsome. | 帅就够了 |
| [13:59] | I can’t believe you’re single. | 不敢相信你还单身 |
| [14:00] | It’s just… | 真是 |
| [14:03] | And I’ve always had a thing for spirited, unpredictable women. | 我一直很喜欢生机勃勃 阴晴不定的女人 |
| [14:08] | Oh, really? | 真的吗 |
| [14:10] | I know it sounds weird, but I like crazy. | 听起来有点怪 但我喜欢疯狂 |
| [14:14] | Well, I know a crazy | 我认识一个疯狂的人 |
| [14:15] | that might like you. | 也许会喜欢你 |
| [14:18] | I also want a guy who’s financially dependent on me | 我还喜欢男人在经济上依赖我 |
| [14:21] | so I can have the upper hand and constantly lord it over him. | 这样我就能站主导地位 一直对他颐指气使 |
| [14:27] | My God, you’re a monster. | 天啊 你真是个怪兽 |
| [14:29] | Of love. | 爱情的 |
| [14:31] | Huh? Right. Yes, a… | 对 没错 |
| [14:33] | a cuddly, bone-chilling love monster. | 可爱到骨子里的爱情小怪兽 |
| [14:38] | Not only is our friend delightfully unstable, | 我们这个朋友不仅精神不稳定 |
| [14:42] | she also happens to earn a pretty good living. | 而且挣得还不少呢 |
| [14:44] | That’s great. | 太棒了 |
| [14:46] | It’s tough making ends meet as an actor in Pittsburgh. | 在匹兹堡当演员挣钱太难了 |
| [14:49] | They don’t appreciate art around here. | 这里的人根本不懂欣赏艺术 |
| [14:51] | I mean, I can do seven different faces, | 我是说 我可以做七种不同的表情 |
| [14:53] | and they are all totally different. | 这七种完全不同 |
| [14:56] | They’re really good. Show them. | 做得非常好 表演一下 |
| [14:57] | Do angry. | 表演愤怒 |
| [14:59] | You had to pick the one that I can’t do. | 你非要挑那个我不会的 |
| [15:02] | That seemed angry to me. | 表情看起来很愤怒啊 |
| [15:04] | Well, all right. | 太好了 |
| [15:06] | That makes eight. | 这下有七种了 |
| [15:09] | So, are you in? | 你同意吗 |
| [15:14] | We’re doing it. | 我们干了 |
| [15:18] | – Thanks for coming, Leif. – Sure. | -谢谢你能来 擎人 -当然了 |
| [15:20] | She’s a rich nutjob. | 她是个有钱的疯子 |
| [15:21] | I’m just glad you called me first. | 庆幸你们先找我了 |
| [15:25] | He’s so pretty, it’s a shame to give him away. | 他长得真好看 这么送走真舍不得 |
| [15:29] | Eyes over here, mama. Oh. | 眼睛看这里 姑娘 |
| [15:31] | Uh, why don’t you guys go into the living room, | 你们何不到客厅里待会 |
| [15:33] | have some hors d’oeuvres, and we’ll be right in. | 吃点小点心 我们马上就去 |
| [15:35] | So, Leif, | 擎人 |
| [15:36] | what kind of name is that? | 这是什么名字 |
| [15:37] | Oh, it’s my first name. | 这是我的名字 |
| [15:43] | You know, | 你知道 |
| [15:44] | I think this could actually work. | 我觉得真有可能成功 |
| [15:45] | Lisa’s an emotional iceberg, | 丽萨是情感冰山 |
| [15:47] | and he’s got the brain of a penguin. | 他有企鹅脑子 |
| [15:50] | Yeah, if these two hit it off, she’s going back to work, | 如果这两个人看对眼了 她就会回去工作 |
| [15:52] | which means you’re going back to work. | 意味着你可以开工了 |
| [15:54] | Yeah, which means I’ll have a bunch | 也意味着我会有很多新故事 |
| [15:55] | – of new stories to tell you. – Yeah. | -回来给你讲了 -对 |
| [15:56] | And you’ll be telling them | 你给我讲的时候 |
| [15:57] | without my feet in your lap. Yeah. | 我的脚也不用搭在你的大腿上了 |
| [15:59] | All right, let’s go close this deal. | 行了 让我们把这事搞定 |
| [16:03] | Ooh, that must be her. | 肯定是她来了 |
| [16:05] | Leif, here comes the rest of your life. | 擎人 你的下辈子来了 |
| [16:08] | Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. | 等等 |
| [16:09] | I-I’m not ready to meet her. | 我还没准备好见她呢 |
| [16:10] | You haven’t even told me her name yet. | 你还没把她的名字告诉我呢 |
| [16:12] | Oh, sorry about that. Yeah, her name is… | 对了 抱歉 她的名字是 |
| [16:14] | Lisa?! | 丽萨 |
| [16:15] | Wow, great guess. | 猜得真准 |
| [16:18] | Leif?! | 擎人 |
| [16:19] | Wait, you-you guys know each other? | 等等 你们俩认识吗 |
| [16:21] | Is that a good thing or a… | 这是好事 还是 |
| [16:22] | – You son of a bitch. – Got it. | -你这个王八犊子 -懂了 |
| [16:26] | You set me up with my ex-husband. | 你要把我的前夫介绍给我 |
| [16:32] | Who cheated on me with a 22-year-old actress | 他劈腿了一个在车展认识的 |
| [16:35] | he met working at a car show. | 22岁女演员 |
| [16:38] | I-I didn’t know we couldn’t date other people. | 我不知道我们不能跟别人约会了 |
| [16:40] | I just thought we couldn’t marry other people. | 只以为我们不能跟别人结婚了 |
| [16:43] | Uh, hey, h-hold on, hold on. He’s changed. | 等等 他已经变了 |
| [16:46] | Yeah. Did you know he’s got a steady job as a chicken wing model? | 你知道他已经有稳定工作了吗 当鸡翅模特哦 |
| [16:51] | Huh? Everybody loves chicken wings. Yeah. | 大家都喜欢吃鸡翅啊 |
| [16:54] | I’m leaving. Thank you so much for setting up this reunion. | 我走了 非常感谢你们安排了这次重聚 |
| [16:58] | Hey, you’re not getting the last word. | 最后的狠话轮不到你说 |
| [16:59] | I’m getting the last word. | 应该是我撂的 |
| [17:00] | – No, you’re not. – Yes, I am. | -不 你不可以 -我可以 |
| [17:01] | No, you’re not! | 不 你不可以 |
| [17:02] | Ah, she’s too good. | 她太棒了 |
| [17:03] | Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay. | 等等 好的 |
| [17:05] | Uh, look, we’ve learned a lot about you both | 听着 在过去的几天中 |
| [17:07] | over the past few days, and from where I’m standing, | 我们了解了你们很多的情况 在我的角度看来 |
| [17:10] | you’re actually perfect for each other. | 你们俩其实是天造地设的一对儿 |
| [17:12] | Yeah, that’s true. I mean, | 对 是真的 |
| [17:14] | you only want one thing, and… | 你只要一样东西 而 |
| [17:16] | he only is one thing. | 他只有一样东西 |
| [17:20] | Yeah, and-and if that one thing is the right thing, | 如果这一样东西就是对的东西 |
| [17:24] | well, then you got to hang on to that thing. | 你需要抓住这一样东西 |
| [17:26] | You know? And this is coming | 你知道吗 这些话可是出自 |
| [17:28] | from an old couple who’s made it | 一对儿几乎共度了一生的 |
| [17:29] | almost all the way through their lives together. | 老夫妻之口 |
| [17:33] | As you so thoughtfully pointed out. | 就像你细心指出的一样 |
| [17:35] | But look, all we’re saying is | 听着 我们经常说的就是 |
| [17:36] | don’t let go of his thing. | 不要让这样东西溜走 |
| [17:42] | He’s right. | 他说得对 |
| [17:43] | Losing you was awful. | 失去你真的很糟糕 |
| [17:45] | Can we at least have a drink and catch up? | 我们能不能喝一杯 聊聊天 |
| [17:49] | Well, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to hear you out, | 听你讲话 也不会掉块肉就是了 |
| [17:52] | Mr. Tickles. | 痒痒肉先生 |
| [17:56] | Come on, I know a bar with lots of pictures of me. | 走吧 我知道一个酒吧 里面有很多我的照片 |
| [18:02] | Look at that. | 瞧瞧啊 |
| [18:04] | There’s an ass for every saddle. | 什么屁股什么鞍 |
| [18:06] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [18:08] | I guess when you find your person, | 只要找对了人 |
| [18:10] | you work stuff out. | 一切就顺其自然了 |
| [18:11] | Yeah. | 对 |
| [18:13] | Your feet are the perfect temperature. | 你双脚的温度 非常完美 |
| [18:18] | I should’ve been nicer about that caterpillar you saw. | 我应该对你看见的毛毛虫再友善点的 |
| [18:23] | You saw a caterpillar? | 你看见毛毛虫了 |
| [18:25] | Yeah, yeah. | 对 |
| [18:26] | It looked like a mustache. Oh. | 看起来像胡子一样 |
| [18:30] | Oh! That’s great. | 真太棒了 |
| [18:32] | That’s great. | 真太棒了 |
| [18:35] | Hey, have you heard anything from Lisa? | 丽萨最近有消息吗 |
| [18:37] | Yeah. Leif moved back in with her. | 有 擎人搬回去跟她住了 |
| [18:40] | Turns out he was living in a storage unit. Oh. | 之前他一直住在库房里 |
| [18:44] | And, as we predicted, she’s already dying | 正如我们所料 她已经等不及 |
| [18:46] | to get out of the house and back to work. | 要离开家 回来工作了 |
| [18:51] | Mm. So… it sounds like our days on the couch together | 听起来 我们一起坐在沙发上的日子 |
| [18:54] | are almost over. | 马上就要结束了 |
| [18:56] | Tell you what. | 这样吧 |
| [18:58] | Let’s watch Rush Hour 3. | 我们看《尖峰时刻3》吧 |
| [19:01] | Let’s go with Gilmore Girls. | 还是看《吉尔莫女孩》吧 |
| [19:04] | I’m a little hooked. | 我有点喜欢上了 |
| [19:06] | Ah. Yeah. I mean, she’s her mom, but she’s also her best friend. | 她是她的妈妈 还是她最好的朋友 |
| [19:10] | Yeah. | 对 |
| [19:11] | Come on. Aw. | 来吧 |
| [19:15] | Look at us. | 瞧瞧我们 |
| [19:16] | It got good again. | 一切又好起来了 |
| [19:20] | They’re hot, but it’s… | 它们好热 但是 |
| [19:21] | it’s a dry heat. Mm-hmm. | 是干燥的热 |
| [19:33] | It doesn’t fit. | 尺寸不行 |
| [19:33] | – I told you to measure it. – I did. | -我不是让你量了吗 -我量了 |
| [19:36] | But it’s wider than the door. | 可它比门宽 |
| [19:37] | You didn’t tell me to measure the door. | 你没让我量门啊 |
| [19:40] | Andi’s gonna be home any minute. | 安迪马上就要回来了 |
| [19:41] | If she sees this, | 要是她看见了 |
| [19:42] | she’ll think I’m accusing her of not exercising. | 肯定会认为是我在说她不锻炼 |
| [19:44] | And we just got good again. | 我们才刚刚好转 |
| [19:47] | That’s Andi. Oh, God, she can’t see this. | 是安迪 天啊 不能让她看见 |
| [19:51] | Here, here, here. | 这样 |
| [19:59] | What are you doing? | 你在干嘛 |
| [20:01] | Camouflage. | 伪装 |
| [20:03] | Hey, guys. Hey. | 你们好啊 |
| [20:05] | What’s this? | 这是什么 |
| [20:07] | Dish towel. | 洗碗巾 |
| [20:10] | Okay, fine. | 好吧 |
| [20:11] | I was gonna throw it away. | 我是打算把它扔掉 |
| [20:13] | Go ahead. You never use it anyway. | 扔吧 反正你从来也不用它 |
| [20:16] | What? I never use it? | 什么 我从来不用 |
| [20:18] | Me? | 我 |
| [20:20] | I mean, I was gonna say something, but… | 我本来想说点什么的 可是 |
| [20:22] | everyone knows you can’t talk to men about exercising. | 谁都知道不能跟男人聊锻炼的事 |