| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:03] | Hey, the flip-house looks great. | 房子翻新的很不错 |
| [00:07] | Are you cleaning? | 你在做打扫 |
| [00:08] | No, I’m robbing the place. Yes, I’m cleaning. | 不是 我是在打劫 我当然是在打扫 |
| [00:11] | Andi starts work with us tomorrow, | 明天开始安迪要跟我们一起工作了 |
| [00:13] | and you know what I realized at 2:00 this morning? | 你们知道今天凌晨两天 我意识到了什么吗 |
| [00:15] | I didn’t think this through. | 我根本没考虑清楚 |
| [00:17] | Well, I don’t think anything through | 我基本什么都考虑不清楚没 |
| [00:19] | and I sleep like a baby. | 但还是沾枕头就睡的人 |
| [00:22] | She’s gonna be here all the time. | 她会一直在这里了 |
| [00:24] | So I came up with a solution, I’m wife-proofing. | 我想到个解决办法 就是妻子防护 |
| [00:27] | Oh, it’s like baby-proofing, but so you don’t end up crying. | 就像婴儿防护似的 让你免遭痛哭流涕之苦 |
| [00:31] | Exactly. Hey, like, look at our fridge, huh? | 对 看看我们的冰箱 |
| [00:34] | It’s full of work beers. | 全是工作用啤酒 |
| [00:36] | Wives don’t understand the concept of work beers. | 老婆可不懂工作用啤酒的概念 |
| [00:40] | At NASA, they had an open bar in mission control | 在NASA的太空航行地面指挥中心里都有免费酒吧 |
| [00:42] | and they still landed on the moon. | 他们还是能稳稳地登陆月球 |
| [00:45] | I don’t think they had that. | 他们应该没有吧 |
| [00:47] | I know space history, that’s my area, okay? | 我了解宇宙的事 都是我擅长的 知道吗 |
| [00:52] | I’ve got to get rid of these Sausage McMuffin wrappers. | 得把这些猪柳汉堡的包装纸扔了 |
| [00:55] | Andi sees me have breakfast at home, | 安迪看着我在家吃早餐的 |
| [00:57] | she doesn’t need to know I have second breakfast here. | 她不需要知道我还有第二顿早餐 |
| [01:00] | Andi won’t be mad; | 安迪不会生气的 |
| [01:01] | it’s a second breakfast, not a second wife. | 不过是第二顿早餐 又不是第二个老婆 |
| [01:04] | No, she won’t get mad, | 她不会生气的 |
| [01:06] | but she will want to have a conversation about it. | 但是她会因为这件事来跟我谈 |
| [01:08] | “Why do you need a second breakfast?” | 你为什么要吃第二顿早餐 |
| [01:09] | “Are you swallowing feelings?” | 暴饮暴食是心情不好吗 |
| [01:11] | The problem is, | 重点是 |
| [01:13] | wives want to dive into stuff. | 老婆总是要查这个问题的水到底多深 |
| [01:15] | But there’s no deep end in the man pool. | 但是男人世界的问题压根没有深水区 |
| [01:17] | It’s three feet all the way across. | 全都是儿童池的深度 |
| [01:20] | We keep it simple, and we get stuff done, huh? | 我们简简单单 但是能把工作做完 |
| [01:23] | Oh, which reminds me. | 提醒我了 |
| [01:24] | What do we do if Andi’s here and we get done with work early? | 要是安迪在这里 我们提前收工了怎么办 |
| [01:28] | We hit the batting cages, eat some hotdogs. | 老规矩 去击球场 吃热狗 |
| [01:31] | Second lunch, you taught me that. | 吃第二顿早餐 你教我的 |
| [01:33] | No, no, because then Andi will wonder | 不 因为安迪会想为什么 |
| [01:36] | why do I want to hang out with the guys? | 我愿意跟男的混在一起 |
| [01:38] | Why don’t I want to be home? | 而不是赶快回家 |
| [01:39] | So from now on, | 所以从现在开始 |
| [01:41] | if we finish work early, we say, | 如果我们提前收工了 就说 |
| [01:43] | “Wow, we finished work early for the first time ever. | 我们还是有史以来第一次提前收工呢 |
| [01:47] | Let’s rush right home and be with our families.” Hmm? | 我们赶紧回家陪家人吧 |
| [01:50] | That doesn’t sound like us. | 听起来不像我们 |
| [01:54] | We’re gonna have to call the hotdog guy | 我们得给卖热狗的打个电话 |
| [01:55] | and let him know we’re okay. | 让他知道我们还活着 |
| [01:58] | Also, Don, I have terrible news. | 大唐 我有坏消息 |
| [02:01] | You have to take down your tool girl calendar. | 你必须把工具女郎的日历摘下来 |
| [02:03] | No. Not Donny’s Angels. | 不要 这可是小唐唐的天使们 |
| [02:06] | I’ll just put Post-its over their naughty bits, | 我可以把淘气的部分折起来盖上 |
| [02:08] | and then we can lift them up like little skirts. | 再像掀小裙子一样看她们 |
| [02:11] | If you don’t take it down, Andi’s gonna have questions. | 如果你不拿下来 安迪就会问了 |
| [02:14] | “Why do you feel the need to look at other women?” | 你为什么有看别的女人的需求 |
| [02:15] | “Is Marcy not enough for you?” | 玛茜满足不了你吗 |
| [02:17] | I love Marcy. When she makes a calendar, I’ll buy that. | 我爱玛茜 她要拍日历 我肯定买 |
| [02:21] | Take it down. | 拿下来 |
| [02:23] | And don’t put it in your desk; | 别放到你的桌子里 |
| [02:24] | you’ll spend all day with your head in the drawer. | 不然你一整天都会把脑袋埋进抽屉里 |
| [02:28] | Hey, Dad, thanks for taking the kids to school. | 爸 谢谢你送孩子们去学校 |
| [02:31] | My pleasure.It’s your first day working with your wife, | 乐意帮忙 这是你第一天和老婆一起工作 |
| [02:34] | so I wanted to be here to say “Nice knowing you.” | 所以我现在想跟你说 此生 很高兴认识你 |
| [02:38] | I think I’ll be all right. | 我应该没事吧 |
| [02:39] | You’re gonna be together all day, every day. | 你们即将日日夜夜都在待在一起 |
| [02:42] | She’s gonna get a real long look at you. | 她就有机会长时间观察你 |
| [02:44] | And the more they look, the more they see. | 她们看得越久 看得就越多 |
| [02:47] | Who’re you talking to, huh? | 你面前的可是我啊 |
| [02:49] | I already wife-proofed the trailer. | 我已经给拖车里做好妻子防护准备了 |
| [02:51] | I hid stuff like a good husband. | 我像好丈夫一样 把东西藏起来了 |
| [02:54] | Good morning, fellas. | 早上好 小伙子们 |
| [02:56] | This is it, honey. | 开始了 亲爱的 |
| [02:57] | You and me working together. | 我们一起工作 |
| [03:00] | Hey, can we hold hands at the office? Probably not. | 我们在办公室可以拉手吗 可能不行 |
| [03:01] | I won’t. I might. I don’t know. Aren’t you excited? | 我不会的 也许会 不知道 你也很兴奋吧 |
| [03:05] | Of course I am. Yeah. I’m so excited, | 当然了 兴奋 我特别兴奋 |
| [03:08] | I am gonna hold your hand right now, | 我现在就要拉起你的手 |
| [03:09] | what do you think of that? | 感觉如何 |
| [03:11] | I like it. | 我喜欢 |
| [03:13] | Working together’s already so fun. | 一起工作现在就这么开心 |
| [03:15] | Give it time. | 慢慢来吧 |
| [03:17] | Hey, guys, we made you something. | 大家好 我们给你们做了点东西 |
| [03:19] | Wh…? | 什么 |
| [03:21] | Mom and Dad lunch boxes. Cool. | 给爸妈的午餐盒 酷 |
| [03:23] | You guys are so sweet. | 你们真是太贴心了 |
| [03:25] | Well, we just think it’s great | 看到你们一起 |
| [03:26] | you guys are starting this new chapter together. | 开启这个新篇章 真是太好了 |
| [03:28] | It’s going to be wonderful. | 一定会非常好的 |
| [03:31] | Well, we love you guys. Have a great day at school. | 我爱你们 祝你们今天在学校过得开心 |
| [03:35] | I bet their day won’t be as great as ours. | 打赌他们今天肯定没我们过得开心 |
| [03:37] | Uh, definitely not. | 绝对没有 |
| [03:39] | You guys are adorable. | 你们真是太可爱了 |
| [03:41] | Have fun. | 好好上学 |
| [03:44] | 20 bucks says they won’t make it a week. | 我赌20 他们撑不过一个礼拜 |
| [03:46] | I’ll take that action. | 我跟你赌 |
| [04:00] | Here she is. | 她来了 |
| [04:01] | Can we get a warm welcome | 让我们热烈欢迎 |
| [04:03] | for our new interior decorator, Andi Burns? | 新室内设计师 安迪·伯恩斯 |
| [04:07] | I mean it, clap. | 我说真的 鼓掌 |
| [04:11] | Thank you, thank you. | 谢谢 谢谢 |
| [04:12] | Don’t get me used to that or you’ll have to do it every day. | 别把我宠坏了 否则你们每天都得鼓掌 |
| [04:17] | Man, it’s clean in here. | 天啊 这里真干净 |
| [04:20] | Is it? | 是吗 |
| [04:22] | Hey, where is Don’s nudie calendar? | 大唐的裸女日历呢 |
| [04:24] | Oh. Oh, I took that down because I got tired | 被我取下来了 因为 |
| [04:27] | of looking at half-naked ladies. | 我看腻了半裸的姑娘 |
| [04:30] | You got to grow up sometime. | 人总得长大嘛 |
| [04:32] | We’re so proud of him. | 我们特别为他骄傲 |
| [04:36] | Did you change things for me? | 你是不是为我改变了这里 |
| [04:37] | I mean, did you, like, wife-proof? | 是不是做了妻子防护工作 |
| [04:40] | Wife-proof? | 妻子防护 |
| [04:42] | What’s that? | 那是什么 |
| [04:43] | You can’t just make up words. | 你别乱编词啊 |
| [04:46] | Listen, honey, don’t think of me as your wife here, okay? | 听着 亲爱的 别把我当成你老婆 好吗 |
| [04:49] | Nothing has to change. | 什么都不用变 |
| [04:51] | I am just one of the guys. | 我和你们是一样的 |
| [04:54] | Well, since you’re one of the guys, I should tell you | 既然你和我们是一样的 我得告诉你 |
| [04:56] | that somebody’s wife is coming in today, so be cool. | 今天有个人的老婆要来 你表现好点 |
| [05:00] | I’m serious, I can hang. | 我认真的 我可以混 |
| [05:02] | Then great. I’m gonna put my calendar back up. | 太好了 那我把日历挂回来 |
| [05:05] | I didn’t grow out of it at all. | 长大也不耽误我喜欢它 |
| [05:06] | If anything, the older I get, the more I need it. | 如果说长大有什么改变 就是我更喜欢了 |
| [05:09] | Although, it does make me wonder, | 不过它会让我想到 |
| [05:12] | why do you feel the need to look at those girls? | 你为什么需要看那些姑娘呢 |
| [05:14] | There it is. | 开始了 |
| [05:15] | You can’t say “Wife” Without “Why.” | 老婆就是老得提问 |
| [05:18] | Hey, Donny’s Angels are Donny’s business. | 小唐唐的天使是小唐唐的事 |
| [05:22] | Maybe Adam was right to be worried about you working here. | 也许亚当担心你在这里工作是对的 |
| [05:25] | He said he was worried? | 他说他担心了 |
| [05:27] | You told me you were excited. | 你说你很兴奋 |
| [05:28] | I-I am excited. | 我是很兴奋 |
| [05:30] | Let’s hear it again for Andi Burns. | 让我们再次欢迎安迪·伯恩斯 |
| [05:35] | So you told them you were worried about working with me. | 你跟他们说过 担心我在这里工作 |
| [05:38] | To be honest, when I hear you say it, | 说真的 当我听你说出来以后 |
| [05:40] | it doesn’t sound like something I’d say. | 我觉得不太像我会说出来的话 |
| [05:42] | Right, guys? Back me up here. | 对吗 兄弟们 给我证明一下 |
| [05:44] | Wow, we finished early for the first time ever. | 我们还是有史以来第一次提前收工呢 |
| [05:46] | Let’s rush right home to be with our families. | 我们赶紧回家陪家人吧 |
| [05:53] | Okay, fine. | 好吧 |
| [05:54] | If I was worried about anything, it’s that… | 如果我确实有担心 也是因为 |
| [05:57] | it’s that you like to dig into things | 你太喜欢追根究底了 |
| [05:59] | and talk about people’s feelings. | 谈论别人的感受 |
| [06:01] | Why this? Why that? Why? Why? Why? | 这是为什么 那是为什么 为什么 为什么 为什么 |
| [06:04] | Why does that bother you so much? | 你为什么这么介意 |
| [06:06] | At home it’s great, | 在家里 这很好 |
| [06:08] | it’s tolerable, it’s great. | 完全可以忍受 是很好的 |
| [06:10] | But in this office, we like to keep things nice and shallow. | 但在这间办公室里 我们希望让事情和善又肤浅 |
| [06:14] | Okay? Otherwise, you open up a whole can of worms | 否则 你会惹来一堆麻烦事 |
| [06:16] | and we don’t get any work done. | 就不能把工作做完了 |
| [06:17] | And believe me, those two guys have got a lot of worms. | 相信我 那两个人 麻烦可多了 |
| [06:21] | Well, I don’t want to get in the way of work. | 我不希望耽误工作进程 |
| [06:24] | Okay, I can be shallow. | 好的 我可以肤浅 |
| [06:26] | That’s my girl. | 我的好老婆 |
| [06:29] | Put Don’s nudie calendar back up | 把大唐的裸女日历挂回去 |
| [06:31] | and I won’t ask why he likes it. | 我不会问他为什么喜欢了 |
| [06:33] | Even though it’s a clear indication of deeper problems. | 就算它清楚地暗示了有深层问题 |
| [06:36] | Great. I-It’s in Lowell’s drawer. | 太好了 在洛厄尔的抽屉了 |
| [06:43] | Oh, my God. | 我的天啊 |
| [06:44] | Yeah, I-I know. That calendar’s a little much. | 我知道 那个日历有点过分了 |
| [06:46] | We’ll skip December. | 我们可以跳过十一月 |
| [06:47] | Mrs. Claus does not hold a wrench like that. | 圣诞婆婆肯定不会像那样拿扳手的 |
| [06:51] | No, no. Look at this. | 不 不 看这个 |
| [06:53] | It’s a lease for an apartment Lowell rented a month ago. | 这是洛厄尔一个月前租公寓的租约 |
| [06:56] | Why would he rent an apartment? | 他为什么要租公寓 |
| [06:58] | He has a house with a wife and kids. | 他有房子 有妻子 有孩子 |
| [07:02] | Do you think he and Jen split up? | 你觉得他会不会和珍分开了 |
| [07:04] | How’s his mood? Does he seem okay? | 他情绪怎么样 还行吗 |
| [07:06] | H– These are not shallow questions, honey. | 这些不是肤浅的问题 亲爱的 |
| [07:09] | Okay? Around here, we like to stick to stuff like, | 在这里 我们喜欢的问题是 |
| [07:12] | “What kind of sauce is that?” | 那加的是什么酱 |
| [07:14] | Sorry, you’re right, I agreed. | 对不起 你说得对 我同意 |
| [07:17] | Thank you. All right. | 谢谢 好了 |
| [07:18] | Now, let’s get to work, huh? | 现在 让我们工作吧 |
| [07:24] | Okay, that thing I just agreed to? | 好吧 我刚刚同意的那件事 |
| [07:25] | I don’t want to do that anymore. | 我不想再继续了 |
| [07:27] | Um, you have to talk to Lowell. | 你必须去跟洛厄尔谈谈 |
| [07:28] | But it’s none of our business.Okay? | 可这不关我们的事 好吗 |
| [07:30] | If he wanted to talk about it, he would’ve talked about it. | 如果他想谈 他已经说了 |
| [07:33] | Well, maybe he doesn’t feel comfortable talking about it | 也许他觉得说不出口呢 |
| [07:35] | because you don’t make him feel comfortable talking about it. | 是因为你没有给他说出口的机会 |
| [07:38] | You know what you’re doing right now? | 你知道你现在这是在干嘛吗 |
| [07:39] | You’re opening up a can of worms. | 你在惹麻烦 |
| [07:40] | And you know what worms catch? | 你知道麻烦会引来什么吗 |
| [07:43] | The fish of truth. | 事情的真相 |
| [07:46] | Look how happy you are with yourself, huh? | 瞧你那得意的样子 |
| [07:48] | It’s like your face thinks what you said makes sense. | 仿佛在说你的话说得通一样 |
| [07:52] | I’m sorry, Adam, you have to talk to Lowell. | 抱歉 亚当 你必须去跟洛厄尔谈谈 |
| [07:54] | There’s no other choice. | 这事没有别的选择 |
| [07:55] | There’s lots of other choices. | 选择多了 |
| [07:56] | Like ignoring it. I choose that choice. | 比如 忽视它 这就是我的选择 |
| [08:00] | I told you there’d be trouble on day one. | 我就说他们第一天就会出问题 |
| [08:02] | Pay up, shorties. | 交钱吧 小子们 |
| [08:05] | Will you take a mini Snickers? | 用小士力架抵行吗 |
| [08:06] | Damn right I will. | 当然可以 |
| [08:09] | Lowell rented an apartment. | 洛厄尔租了间公寓 |
| [08:10] | That’s the kind of thing people do | 这种事一般是婚姻出问题了 |
| [08:12] | when their marriage is breaking up. | 才会发生的 |
| [08:13] | So go check on your friend. | 去关心一下你的朋友 |
| [08:16] | You know we got no work done today, right? | 你知道我们今天什么工作都没做 对吧 |
| [08:20] | This is why I was reluctant | 这就是为什么 |
| [08:21] | for you to come to the office. | 我抵触你来办公室 |
| [08:23] | Oh, so now it’s reluctant. | 所以现在是抵触了 |
| [08:25] | It’s gone from worried to reluctant. | 从担心变成抵触了 |
| [08:28] | Stop listening to my words and let me talk. | 别听我的用词 让我说话 |
| [08:32] | Okay, well, if you want to talk, go talk to Lowell. | 好 你想说话 跟洛厄尔说去 |
| [08:35] | Share your feelings with him and then report back to me. | 去跟他谈谈心 再回来跟我汇报 |
| [08:38] | I don’t want to do that. I work with him. | 我不想这么做 我跟他一起工作 |
| [08:39] | That’s right, he’s part of your work family. | 对啊 他是你的工作家人之一 |
| [08:42] | That is a phrase that a wife made up, | 这是妻子编出来的词 |
| [08:44] | That’s not a real thing. | 根本没有这种东西 |
| [08:47] | Okay, but aren’t you curious | 好吧 但你不好奇吗 |
| [08:48] | why he rented an apartment? | 他为什么组间公寓 |
| [08:49] | No, I am never curious why. | 不 我从来不好奇为什么 |
| [08:52] | When the NASA guys were boozing it up in mission control | 当NASA的人在太空航行地面指挥中心喝醉后 |
| [08:55] | and someone said let’s go to the moon, nobody asked why. | 某人说我们去月球吧 没人问为什么 |
| [09:00] | Okay, you don’t have to talk to Lowell. | 好吧 你不一定要去和洛厄尔谈 |
| [09:05] | We can just sit here and talk about why you don’t want to. | 我们可以坐下来聊聊 你为什么不愿意去 |
| [09:09] | I’ll go. | 我去 |
| [09:12] | Another piece of space history for you. | 再给你讲个航天故事 |
| [09:14] | The reason those guys wanted to go to the moon | 他们之所以想去月球 |
| [09:15] | is they were all married. | 是因为他们都结婚了 |
| [09:22] | I don’t get it. Why do I have to come to Lowell’s apartment? | 我不懂我为什么要来洛厄尔的公寓 |
| [09:24] | Nobody gets to ask me why anymore. | 再也不许有人问我为什么了 |
| [09:27] | You’re so tense, maybe you need an apple juice or something. | 你太紧张了 是不是需要杯苹果汁之类的 |
| [09:32] | I brought you with me just in case Andi’s right | 我带你来 是怕万一安迪说对了 |
| [09:33] | and Lowell’s all emotional. | 洛厄尔情绪不稳定 |
| [09:35] | You’re like a funny thing for him to look at. | 你就像个吉祥物 让他看你解解闷 |
| [09:39] | This is it. | 就是这里 |
| [09:40] | All right, let’s do this. | 好 那咱们走吧 |
| [09:41] | You and me together, brother. | 你我一起 兄弟连心 |
| [09:47] | Adam. How’d you find me? | 亚当 你怎么找到我的 |
| [09:49] | We came to make sure you were all right. | 我们来看看你是不是还好 |
| [09:51] | – Who’s we? – Me and… | – 我们是谁 -我和… |
| [09:53] | What? | 人呢 |
| [09:56] | I’ll be in the car. You got this. | 我去车里等你 你可以的 |
| [10:01] | Andi found the lease to this place and thinks maybe | 安迪发现了你的租约 所以她觉得 |
| [10:03] | you and Jen split up or something. | 你和珍是不是分开了 |
| [10:05] | Oh. Well, everything’s great. | 是吗 没事 我挺好的 |
| [10:07] | I knew it. Of course it is. | 我就知道 当然没事 |
| [10:10] | Jen and I are just exploring the adventure of marital separation. | 我和珍只是想尝试一下分居的感觉 |
| [10:16] | You did split up. | 你们确实分开了 |
| [10:17] | W-Why didn’t you say anything? | 你为什么没跟我们说呢 |
| [10:19] | It’s only temporary. | 这只是暂时的 |
| [10:20] | More of a housing glitch than anything. | 其实就是家里出了点小问题 |
| [10:22] | The glitch being she chases me away when I go near our house. | 小问题就是每次我靠近家里 她就会把我赶走 |
| [10:27] | Okay. Uh, that sounds like something | 好吧 发生了这样的事 |
| [10:30] | you might want to share feelings about. | 你可能会想分享一下你的感受 |
| [10:35] | I’m ready. Do it. Just do it. | 我准备好了 来吧 跟我说吧 |
| [10:37] | I don’t want to talk about it. | 我不想谈这件事 |
| [10:39] | There are no feelings here. | 我没有什么感受 |
| [10:40] | That’s good. Great. | 很好 那太好了 |
| [10:42] | Keep it inside like a man. | 像个男人一样憋在心里 |
| [10:44] | Hey, you got any beer? | 你这里有啤酒吗 |
| [10:46] | We can celebrate your independence. | 我们可以喝一杯庆祝一下你的独立 |
| [10:47] | – I only have light beer. – Perfect! | -我只有淡啤酒 -完美 |
| [10:50] | Light beer, because we keep it light, huh? | 淡啤酒 因为君子之交淡如水 对吧 |
| [11:00] | This is where you’re staying? | 你就是住在这里吗 |
| [11:02] | It’s cozy. | 很舒适 |
| [11:05] | I eat there, | 我在那里吃饭 |
| [11:06] | I sit there, | 在那里静坐 |
| [11:07] | sometimes, I walk over there, | 有时候 会走到那里 |
| [11:09] | but then I come back over here, | 然后再回来这里 |
| [11:11] | because this is where the party happens. | 因为真正的派对就在这里 |
| [11:16] | You don’t even have a TV. | 你连个电视都没有 |
| [11:18] | A TV, Lowell! | 电视 洛厄尔 |
| [11:20] | I don’t mind. I just tape my phone | 我不介意 我就把手机用胶带贴墙上 |
| [11:22] | to the wall and watch that. | 然后看手机 |
| [11:25] | Okay. I guess that’s something. | 好吧 也算有个看的东西 |
| [11:29] | Wait. Where’s the bed? | 等等 你的床在哪里 |
| [11:30] | I grabbed my daughter’s sleeping bag on the way out. | 我走的时候拿上了我女儿的睡袋 |
| [11:34] | But it’s three feet long. | 可是睡袋还不到一米长 |
| [11:35] | That’s okay. These days, I sleep in the fetal position. | 没关系 这几天我都是以胎儿的姿势睡觉 |
| [11:41] | You said there wouldn’t be feelings. | 你不是说不会有感受吗 |
| [11:43] | That gives me a big feeling, Lowell! | 我现在有很强烈的感受 洛厄尔 |
| [11:47] | I’m sorry. Do you want to | 抱歉 那你要不要 |
| [11:48] | walk over there for a second and come back over here? | 走去那里待一会 然后再回来 |
| [11:50] | It helps me. | 这样对我有帮助 |
| [11:53] | All right, get your stuff. | 行了 把你东西收拾好 |
| [11:54] | You’re coming with me. | 你跟我走 |
| [11:55] | – Really? – Well, I can’t leave you here. | -真的吗 -我肯定不能留你在这里 |
| [11:58] | You have no TV. You’ll die! | 你没有电视 你会死的 |
| [12:09] | So Lowell’s staying with us? | 洛厄尔现在住我们家啦 |
| [12:10] | Yeah. Yeah, yeah. | 对 是的是的 |
| [12:14] | Are you happy now? | 这下你高兴了 |
| [12:15] | I am happy. I think it’s a good thing I went to work today. | 我高兴了 我觉得我今天去上班是好事 |
| [12:19] | When I ask, “Are you happy now?”, it means I’m not happy. | 我问你”这下你高兴了” 就是说我不高兴了 |
| [12:22] | Okay, well, after we help Lowell, we’ll help you. | 好吧 等帮助完洛厄尔 我们再帮你 |
| [12:26] | Pantry! | 进食品室 |
| [12:32] | Don’t… don’t you see what you did? | 你 你难道不明白你做了什么吗 |
| [12:35] | If I don’t know about stuff, I don’t have to fix it. | 如果我不知情 我就不必付出行动 |
| [12:39] | That’s why I turn off the UNICEF commercial | 所以我每次看到联合国儿童基金会广告 |
| [12:41] | before they show the kids. | 都会在儿童的画面出来之前关掉 |
| [12:42] | Otherwise, it’s too sad, and I end up buying ’em a goat. | 否则 我就会特别难过 然后给他们买山羊 |
| [12:46] | You know how many goats are running around villages named Adam? | 你知道已经有多少名叫”亚当”的山羊在村里吗 |
| [12:50] | They-they don’t name the goats after… | 基金会并不会以你的名字… |
| [12:51] | Yes, they do. Yes, they do. | 好吧 会的 会的 |
| [12:54] | You put me in this position! | 是你让我陷入这个境地 |
| [12:57] | So you’re mad because I think you’re a good person? | 所以你是因为我觉得你是个好人而生气吗 |
| [13:00] | I don’t love it. | 反正我不喜欢 |
| [13:02] | And now, thanks to you, I got a giant sad kid on my couch, | 现在因为你 我沙发上坐着一个伤心的巨婴 |
| [13:05] | and I got to fix it. | 我还得做点什么 |
| [13:07] | Because you’re a sweet and sensitive man. | 因为你是个心地善良心思细腻的男人 |
| [13:10] | That’s a low blow, Andi. | 你这招太low了 安迪 |
| [13:15] | Why didn’t you tell us you and Jen split up? | 你为什么没告诉我们你和珍分开了 |
| [13:17] | Because it’s just temporary. | 因为这只是暂时的 |
| [13:18] | Yeah, Lowell explained to us | 对 洛厄尔跟我们解释说 |
| [13:20] | that he’s giving Jen some space while she temporarily | 他在给珍一些空间 而她正在暂时性地 |
| [13:24] | sleeps with her horse-riding instructor. | 跟她的马术教练上床 |
| [13:27] | Yeah, the whole car ride home | 对 开车回家的路上就像 |
| [13:29] | was one long UNICEF commercial. | 一条很长的联合国基金会广告 |
| [13:32] | I have a question. | 我有个问题 |
| [13:34] | She’s with a horse guy, right? | 她跟一个骑马的人在一起了对吧 |
| [13:36] | It makes me wonder. | 所以我不禁在想 |
| [13:38] | Do you think “Roll in the hay” comes | “滚床单”这个短语会不会起源于 |
| [13:39] | from doing it in the hayloft? | 在干草棚里滚来滚去 |
| [13:43] | Maybe let’s save the questions for the end. | 这个问题留着以后问吧 |
| [13:47] | Guys, I’m fine. | 我真的没事 |
| [13:48] | I’m sure we’ll be back together soon. | 我们应该很快就会复合了 |
| [13:50] | I-I have another question. | 我还有个问题 |
| [13:52] | No, no, no. No. | 不 不是 |
| [13:55] | It’s a real one. | 这次是真问题 |
| [13:58] | If she did this to you, | 她既然这样对你 |
| [14:00] | why do you want her back? | 你为什么还想跟她复合呢 |
| [14:02] | Every so often, he surprises you. | 有时候 他挺让人惊讶的 |
| [14:07] | Like a whale surfacing next to your kayak. | 就像皮划艇旁边出现一只鲸鱼 |
| [14:11] | – Startling, but beautiful. – Yeah. | -有点吓人 但是很美丽 -是啊 |
| [14:14] | I want her back because she’s my… | 我想跟她复合是因为她… |
| [14:18] | We’ve been… | 我们已经… |
| [14:21] | Why do I want her back? | 我为什么想跟她复合 |
| [14:24] | I was a great husband | 我是个很好的丈夫 |
| [14:25] | and she wasn’t that good a wife. | 可她并不是个很好的妻子 |
| [14:27] | This is a little thing, | 虽然这是小事 |
| [14:28] | but she never once replaced an empty toilet paper roll. | 但她从来没有换过一次厕纸 |
| [14:31] | I think she did it just to make me duck-walk | 我知道她这样就是想逼我走”鸭步” |
| [14:33] | around the house with my pants around my ankles. | 裤子脱在脚踝处 在家里跑来跑去 |
| [14:36] | Ah, yes, the march of the penguins. | 没错 企鹅游行 |
| [14:40] | I deserve better! | 我值得更好的 |
| [14:42] | You know what? You really do. | 你知道吗 的确如此 |
| [14:44] | And you’re on my team now, | 你现在是我团队的一员 |
| [14:45] | and no one screws with my team. | 没人能欺负我的队员 |
| [14:48] | I want to do something. | 我想做点什么 |
| [14:49] | I just… I don’t know what. | 但是 我不知道该做什么 |
| [14:51] | I’ll tell you what you’re gonna do. | 我告诉你 你应该做什么 |
| [14:53] | Look at him. He’s gonna buy that kid a goat. | 你看他 他要给这个孩子买山羊了 |
| [14:57] | You and the team are gonna go over to your house, | 你带着我们一起去你家 |
| [15:00] | get all your stuff and let Jen know that you are moving on. | 把你的东西拿走 这样珍就知道你放开了 |
| [15:03] | – Yes! – Right? | -没错 -是吧 |
| [15:04] | – No. – Why? | -不行 -为什么 |
| [15:05] | We can’t. Her and the girls are at her parents’, | 我家去不了 她和女儿们去了她爸妈家 |
| [15:08] | and she changed the locks on our house. | 而且她把我家的锁换了 |
| [15:10] | What? She changed the locks on you after what she did? | 什么 她出轨背叛了你 她居然还换锁 |
| [15:13] | I really want to slap this girl right in the sweet potatoes. | 我真的很想扇这女人一耳光 |
| [15:18] | So we’ll just break in. Then when she gets back | 那我们就强行进去 等她回来 |
| [15:20] | and sees that all your stuff is gone, | 看到你的东西都不见了 |
| [15:22] | she’ll be in for a big surprise. | 她就会非常吃惊了 |
| [15:24] | – Yeah, a mean surprise. – Yeah. | -没错 吃惊而难过 -正是 |
| [15:27] | Like I got the day I came to pick her up early at the barn. | 就像我那天提前去谷仓接她的感受 |
| [15:30] | Let’s not look back. Let’s look forward. | 那些都过去了 我们向前看 |
| [15:32] | I bet she was looking back, though, right? | 她被上的时候肯定在向后看 对吧 |
| [15:37] | What? I’ve been good this whole time. I don’t get one? | 怎么了 我表现这么好 一个玩笑都不能开吗 |
| [16:01] | Okay. Let go. Let go! | 好了 放手 放开 |
| [16:08] | This is like when Dad tried to save money on the pony ride. | 现在很像以前爸爸为了省钱让我们骑一匹马 |
| [16:10] | – Just go. – No, you go ahead. | -你进吧 -不 你先进 |
| [16:12] | – Okay, I’m taking you with me. – What? What? | -好吧 我拉着你一起 -什么 什么 |
| [16:19] | What are you doing? | 你在干什么 |
| [16:20] | Hiding the remote under the cushion. | 把遥控器藏在沙发垫下面 |
| [16:22] | Try and change the channel now, Jen. | 这下你试着换个台 珍 |
| [16:24] | You’ll have to walk to the TV like a sucker. | 你得跟个穷光蛋一样走到电视跟前 |
| [16:27] | Okay, let’s just get Lowell’s stuff and get out of here. | 好了 赶紧拿好洛厄尔的东西 离开这里 |
| [16:29] | Relax. Nobody saw us break in. | 放轻松 没人看到我们进来 |
| [16:31] | We were sneaky, like ninjas. | 我们很谨慎 像忍者一样 |
| [16:34] | Shady Side Security. | 暗夜安保 |
| [16:38] | They don’t know we’re in here. | 他们不知道我们在里面 |
| [16:39] | I know you’re in there. | 我知道你们在里面 |
| [16:42] | One of you is wearing light-up shoes. | 你们有人穿了发光鞋 |
| [16:45] | I told you not to wear those stupid shoes. | 我早就说了别穿这双鞋 |
| [16:49] | Marcy and I are going power-walking after this. | 这事结束后我和玛茜要去竞走 |
| [16:52] | Safety first, guys. | 安全第一嘛 |
| [16:56] | Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. | 等等 等等 |
| [16:57] | – What are you gonna say? – Don’t worry. I got this. | -你打算怎么说 -别担心 我来解决 |
| [17:02] | Thank God you’re here. | 谢天谢地你来了 |
| [17:03] | These violent criminals broke into my house. | 这些暴力悍匪闯进了我的家 |
| [17:07] | Look, Mr. Franklin, your wife told the office | 富兰克林先生 你妻子跟我们说 |
| [17:09] | you two separated and to keep an eye out for you, so, let’s go. | 你们分居了 让我们盯着你 跟我来吧 |
| [17:13] | Wait a minute. Where’s the other guy? | 等等 还有一个人呢 |
| [17:19] | What other guy? | 还有什么人 |
| [17:21] | They don’t pay me enough to care. Come on. | 我的工资不够让我多管闲事 走吧 |
| [17:25] | If I ever become a criminal, | 我要是哪天成了悍匪 |
| [17:26] | this is the first neighborhood I’m hitting. | 绝对首先来抢劫这个社区 |
| [17:31] | I can’t believe Adam ditched us. | 没想到亚当居然抛弃了我们 |
| [17:33] | I thought if anybody’d run away, it’d be you. | 我还以为要是有人先跑 肯定会是你 |
| [17:35] | Well, I wouldn’t have gotten very far. | 那我应该跑不远 |
| [17:37] | The faster I move, the brighter my shoes blink. | 我动作越快 我的鞋就会越亮 |
| [17:41] | Why did I hide the remote? | 我为什么要把遥控器藏起来 |
| [17:43] | I should’ve taken it! | 我应该直接拿走 |
| [17:44] | Everyone loves finding the remote. | 谁都喜欢找到遥控器的感觉 |
| [17:46] | Now she’s gonna find it and be happy. | 这下她找到之后会很开心 |
| [17:48] | That’s not payback! | 这算什么报复 |
| [17:51] | Where have you been? | 你去哪儿了 |
| [17:52] | Well, while you jokers were getting caught, | 你们这帮傻瓜被抓的时候 |
| [17:55] | I hid in the closet like a ninja. | 我像忍者一样藏进了衣柜里 |
| [18:00] | You can’t just say normal things and then add “Like a ninja.” | 你不能用”像忍者一样”修饰很平凡的动作 |
| [18:04] | I ate a meatball sandwich… like a ninja. | 我像忍者一样… 吃了肉丸三明治 |
| [18:07] | Don’t step on my moment, Andi. | 你别扫我的兴 安迪 |
| [18:08] | I’m getting to something good. | 我接下来有大事要宣布 |
| [18:11] | Okay, now, I didn’t get your clothes, | 听我说 我没拿到你的衣服 |
| [18:13] | because, well, honestly, I couldn’t tell the difference | 因为 说实话 我分不清哪些衣服是你的 |
| [18:16] | between yours and Jen’s. | 哪些是珍的 |
| [18:19] | But I did find a way | 但我发现一个办法 |
| [18:21] | to make her very unhappy. | 可以让她非常不开心 |
| [18:24] | This is my gift to you. | 这是我送你的礼物 |
| [18:33] | Her toilet paper? | 她的厕纸 |
| [18:35] | He took her toilet paper! That’s so imaginative. | 他拿走了她的厕纸 真是太有创造力了 |
| [18:40] | Every roll in the house. | 每一卷都拿走了 |
| [18:42] | Who’s gonna be doing the march of the penguins now? | 这下该谁在家里做企鹅游行了 |
| [18:46] | – Oh, that is good. – Yeah. | -太机智了 -对吧 |
| [18:49] | Plus, it saves me a run to Costco. | 而且我也不用去便利店买了 |
| [18:51] | Yeah. Yeah. And now, | 是啊 而且现在 |
| [18:52] | there’s no one there to replace it. | 没有人帮她换厕纸了 |
| [18:54] | She is gonna regret the day she let you go. | 她就会后悔把你赶走的决定 |
| [18:57] | – Every time she has to go. -Yeah. | -每当她需要”光腚”的时候 -没错 |
| [19:01] | Now that is payback. | 这才叫报复 |
| [19:03] | Enjoy the duck walk. | 享受走鸭步的感觉吧 |
| [19:05] | Quack quack, Jen. | 嘎嘎 珍 |
| [19:09] | Thank you for this. | 谢谢你 |
| [19:10] | You’re welcome. | 不客气 |
| [19:16] | You hug like a ninja. | 你拥抱起来像个忍者 |
| [19:20] | Thank you, Lowell. | 多谢夸奖 洛厄尔 |
| [19:26] | Okay, Lowell is out cold. | 好了 洛厄尔睡熟了 |
| [19:28] | He really does sleep in the fetal position. | 他真的是以胎儿姿势在睡觉 |
| [19:32] | I tried to straighten him out, | 我本来想把他拉直 |
| [19:33] | and he just snapped right back, like a curly hair. | 但他马上又弹回去了 跟一根卷发似的 |
| [19:38] | Sorry we didn’t get much work done today. | 抱歉我们今天没做什么工作 |
| [19:40] | Eh, we’ve done less. | 这不算什么 |
| [19:43] | Well, I-I’m serious. | 我是认真的 |
| [19:44] | I don’t want me being at work to stress you out. | 我不希望我去上班会让你压力很大 |
| [19:47] | I mean, in one day, you went | 一天之内 你对我去上班的感受 |
| [19:48] | from excited to worried to reluctant. | 从兴奋到担忧 后来成了抵触 |
| [19:51] | Honey, that’s just the three stages | 亲爱的 这只是”跟老婆当同事”的 |
| [19:53] | of working-with-your-wife grief. | 三个阶段性感受 |
| [19:55] | Okay, and now, I am at the fourth stage: | 我现在已经到了第四阶段 |
| [19:59] | joyful acceptance. | 愉快地接受 |
| [20:02] | So no more wife-proofing? No more hiding things? | 那以后不会再有妻子防护行动 不会藏东西了 |
| [20:06] | I do have one small confession. | 我确实有一件小事要交代 |
| [20:09] | – What? – I got a huge crush on the new guy. | -什么 -我对新同事有强烈的好感 |
| [20:15] | No, seriously, I’m glad you were there. | 我认真的 今天你去上班真的很好 |
| [20:17] | If it wasn’t for you, I never would’ve known about Lowell, | 如果不是你 我永远不会发现洛厄尔的事 |
| [20:19] | and I think we helped him. | 我觉得我们真的帮到了他 |
| [20:21] | You know, he’s got a TV now. | 毕竟 他现在有电视了 |
| [20:24] | And sometimes, that’s better than a family. | 有时候 电视比家人还要好 |
| [20:28] | You are very wise. | 你非常睿智 |
| [20:32] | Like a…? | 就像… |
| [20:42] | Like a ninja. | 就像忍者一样 |
| [20:44] | Yeah. | 漂亮 |
| [20:46] | I made you say that… like a ninja. | 我像个忍者一样 逼你说了这句话 |