| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:00] | Previously on Man with a Plan… | 《老爸有招》前情回顾 |
| [00:02] | My little sister’s here. | 我妹来了 |
| [00:03] | Hey, Kelly. | 凯莉 |
| [00:05] | Why did you– When did you come here? | 你为什么… 你什么时候来的 |
| [00:08] | They fired you? What happened? | 他们开除你 发生了什么 |
| [00:10] | I embezzled a tiny bit of money. | 我盗用了一点点钱 |
| [00:14] | I’m jealous of you. | 我嫉妒你 |
| [00:15] | I guess this is like The Tortoise and the Hare. | 也许这就像龟兔赛跑一样 |
| [00:18] | I’m the sleek, sexy bunny | 我是狡猾性感的小野兔 |
| [00:22] | losing to you, the slow, scaly turtle. | 输给你这个慢吞吞脏兮兮的乌龟 |
| [00:30] | Thanks for coming by. | 谢谢你们过来 |
| [00:30] | We wanted you here | 我们希望请你们过来 |
| [00:31] | because we’re having an intervention. | 是因为我们要进行强制干预 |
| [00:33] | Okay, hold on, a lot of people drink wine at lunch. | 先等等 很多人都会在午餐时间喝红酒的 |
| [00:38] | No, Marcy, it’s not for you. | 不 玛茜 不是针对你的 |
| [00:39] | Oh, this better not be about me and the dog track. | 不会是说我和赛狗比赛的事吧 |
| [00:42] | You said you weren’t going to the track anymore. | 你不是说你已经不看那种比赛了吗 |
| [00:45] | I’m not. | 确实不看了 |
| [00:47] | Look, the intervention is for Lowell. | 我们是想强制干预洛厄尔的事 |
| [00:49] | Kelly’s got her hooks in him and it’s my fault. | 凯莉的魔爪伸向了他 这都怪我 |
| [00:52] | Oh, honey, we’re not assigning blame out loud. | 亲爱的 我们不是要追责 至少没有大声说 |
| [00:57] | Look, we need your help convincing Lowell to dump her | 我们是希望你们能帮忙说服洛厄尔跟她分手 |
| [00:59] | because she’s bad for him. | 因为她对他有坏影响 |
| [01:01] | Yeah. And me. Since Kelly moved in with him, | 是啊 对我也有 自从凯莉和他同居之后 |
| [01:03] | Lowell hasn’t been at work all week. | 洛厄尔已经一周没上班了 |
| [01:05] | He’s got stacks of whatever he does piling up. | 不管他负责什么 总之工作堆积了很多 |
| [01:10] | The longer this goes on, | 这样下去越久 |
| [01:11] | the worse it’s gonna be for him | 到时候她伤他的心的时候 |
| [01:12] | when she breaks his heart. He’s my friend. | 他就会更难接受 他是我的朋友 |
| [01:14] | I can’t sit by and let that happen. | 我不能坐视不管 |
| [01:16] | We’re in. These things are open bar, right? | 我们加入 这种活动酒水无限量供应 对吧 |
| [01:21] | I’m asking for a friend. | 我是帮别人问的 |
| [01:25] | Hey, Dad. | 爸 |
| [01:25] | Hey, your mother told me | 你妈妈跟我说 |
| [01:27] | you’re having an intervention. | 你们要做强制干预 |
| [01:29] | Are we straightening out the boozer or the gambler? | 我们是要管那个酒鬼还是赌徒 |
| [01:37] | Okay, that’s Lowell. Wait, wait, wait, one more thing, | 洛厄尔来了 等等 我想说句话 |
| [01:40] | I have watched every episode of Intervention, okay? | 我看了《勒戒》的每一期节目 |
| [01:42] | It is intense, emotional, and almost never works. | 场面很紧张 很容易激动 而且几乎从来没用 |
| [01:47] | Good luck, everybody. | 祝你们好运 |
| [01:52] | Hey, Lowell. | 洛厄尔 |
| [01:53] | Oh, you got a little something all over here. | 你脸上蹭脏了 这片都是 |
| [01:57] | I grew a goatee. | 我留了山羊胡 |
| [01:59] | Oh, well, that makes sense. | 我可以理解 |
| [02:00] | You love animals and now your face | 你很喜欢动物 现在你的脸 |
| [02:02] | looks like a raccoon walking away. | 看起来就像一只逃跑的浣熊 |
| [02:05] | It was Kelly’s idea and I like it. | 是凯莉的主意 我很喜欢 |
| [02:07] | I get to stroke it when I think about stuff. | 我想事情的时候还可以摸摸胡子 |
| [02:10] | That sounds fun. Maybe I’ll grow a… | 听起来很好玩 要不我也留一个… |
| [02:11] | No, baby. | 不行 宝贝 |
| [02:13] | Don, why don’t you get Lowell a glass of wine? | 大唐 你去帮洛厄尔倒杯红酒吧 |
| [02:15] | Oh, actually, Kelly’s gotten me into scotch. | 其实 凯莉让我喜欢上了苏格兰威士忌 |
| [02:18] | At first it was awful, | 一开始觉得很难喝 |
| [02:19] | but now that it burned off all my taste buds, I love it. | 但它烧死了我所有味蕾之后 我很喜欢 |
| [02:23] | Okay, buddy, h-have a seat. | 好吧 兄弟 来坐下 |
| [02:31] | Why is everyone so serious? | 为什么大家都这么严肃 |
| [02:34] | Is it my goatee? It does set a mood of sexy danger. | 是因为我的山羊胡吗 确实会营造性感而危险的氛围 |
| [02:40] | No, no. | 不 不是 |
| [02:42] | No, we’re serious because we’re having an intervention. | 我们严肃是因为我们要强制干预 |
| [02:48] | Well, I think Marcy drinks a normal amount. | 我觉得玛茜喝的酒不算过量 |
| [02:53] | It’s not for Marcy. | 不是针对玛茜的 |
| [02:55] | Although, we should probably put one on the books for her. | 不过 我们可以把她的事也记入日程了 |
| [02:59] | No, it’s for you. | 不 是针对你的 |
| [03:01] | Lowell, we love you, | 洛厄尔 我们很爱你 |
| [03:04] | and we feel like we’re losing you. | 但我们觉得快要失去你了 |
| [03:06] | They say that every time on the show. | 每期节目开始他们都会这么说 |
| [03:08] | It’s how you kick things off. | 这样才能开始干预 |
| [03:10] | What are you talking about? | 你们在说什么 |
| [03:12] | Kelly. | 凯莉 |
| [03:13] | We’re worried that you’re happier than us | 我们担心你比我们更幸福 |
| [03:15] | because she’s so foxy. | 因为她太妖孽了 |
| [03:18] | No. | 不 |
| [03:21] | We’re worried because you are a good, trusting person, | 我们担心是因为你很善良 容易相信人 |
| [03:24] | and Kelly is,well, | 而凯莉 |
| [03:26] | the devil. | 她是魔鬼 |
| [03:28] | She will ruin you. You got to end it with her. | 她会毁了你 你得跟她结束 |
| [03:30] | No. I’m grateful for all the things she brought into my life. | 不 我很感激她给我的生活带来的改变 |
| [03:33] | Before her, I never knew I loved scotch. | 以前 我从来不知道我喜欢喝威士忌 |
| [03:41] | Like an angel’s tears. | 就像天使的泪水 |
| [03:46] | Look, Kelly is my sister, and I know her better than anyone. | 听我说 凯莉是我妹妹 我比任何人都了解她 |
| [03:50] | I don’t think so. I know Kelly intimately. | 我不这样认为 我跟凯莉是有亲密关系的 |
| [03:52] | Only 64 other men in the world can say that. | 这世上只有我和另外64个男人能这样说 |
| [03:58] | Boy, it sounds like people are having a lot of fun out there. | 我去 外面的人们活得可真精彩啊 |
| [04:02] | Kelly and I exchanged stats. | 我和凯莉交换过情史 |
| [04:04] | If we compare how many women we’ve been with, we’re tied. | 如果比赛谁交往过的女人多 我们是平局 |
| [04:10] | Okay, fine. If you won’t listen to us, | 好吧 如果你不愿意听我们的 |
| [04:12] | then listen to him. | 那就听他的吧 |
| [04:12] | Dad, go ahead. Scare him straight. | 爸 说吧 把他吓老实点 |
| [04:15] | All right! | 好的 |
| [04:17] | Listen here, Lowell. | 你给我听着 洛厄尔 |
| [04:18] | You’ve made a lot of changes. Let’s start with the beard. | 你变了很多 先说你这个胡子吧 |
| [04:23] | I like it. | 我很喜欢 |
| [04:26] | Dad. | 爸 |
| [04:27] | I thought we were fixing the old Lowell, | 我以为我们要帮助曾经的洛厄尔 |
| [04:29] | but this one’s hairy and drinks scotch. | 但是这位洛厄尔毛发茂密 还喝威士忌 |
| [04:32] | Rolling around town with a cute broad. | 美人在侧 潇洒地走在镇子上 |
| [04:34] | I enjoy you, son. I used to be you. | 我很欣赏你 孩子 我曾经就是这样 |
| [04:39] | Thank you, Joe. | 谢谢你 乔 |
| [04:41] | Lowell, I got your text. Are you okay? | 洛厄尔 我收到你的短信了 你还好吗 |
| [04:44] | No, they want to break us up. | 不好 他们想拆散我们 |
| [04:47] | Is this true? | 真的吗 |
| [04:48] | In our defense, we were trying to do it behind your back. | 我辩解一下 我们本想瞒着你这样做的 |
| [04:52] | Should’ve known you were coming. | 我早该知道你会来的 |
| [04:53] | I saw a bat fly by the window. | 我看到一只蝙蝠从窗边飞过了 |
| [05:05] | Why would you try to break us up? | 你们为什么要拆散我们 |
| [05:07] | Look, I don’t like confrontation, | 听我说 我不喜欢跟人对峙 |
| [05:10] | but I’ll just come out and say it. | 但我打算站出来直接说 |
| [05:11] | Adam, say it. | 亚当 你说 |
| [05:13] | I’ll say it. You’re not good enough for him. | 我来说 你配不上他 |
| [05:17] | What with you being the devil and all. | 因为你是魔鬼什么的 |
| [05:20] | You know, when I started dating Lowell, | 我刚跟洛厄尔在一起的时候 |
| [05:21] | I wasn’t good enough for him, but he changed me. | 我确实配不上他 但他改变了我 |
| [05:25] | I’ve never had a man so supportive and tender, | 我从来没有遇到过这么温柔而大度的男人 |
| [05:29] | and then not tender when it’s “Not tender time.” | 而且在”不该温柔的时候”就不温柔 |
| [05:33] | And there’s someone else I haven’t been good enough for, | 还有另外一个人 我也配不上 |
| [05:36] | and that’s you, Andi. | 就是你 安迪 |
| [05:38] | I have been a terrible sister, | 我作为妹妹一直很糟糕 |
| [05:40] | but I don’t want to compete with you anymore. | 我不想再跟你比赛了 |
| [05:43] | I just want to love you. | 我只想好好爱你 |
| [05:45] | Aww! | 矮油 |
| [05:47] | Aww? | 矮油 |
| [05:50] | We are not aww-ing, we’re boo-ing. | 我们不能”矮油” 要嘲讽 |
| [05:54] | She’s never said anything like that to me before. | 她以前从来没跟我说过这种话 |
| [05:57] | We are supposed to be a team. | 我们不是一个团队吗 |
| [05:59] | We are a team, but– I don’t know– | 我们是一个团队 但是现在 |
| [06:01] | we lost them. Read the room, man. | 人心已经散了 有点眼力价 |
| [06:05] | Okay, well, Lowell, | 好吧 洛厄尔 |
| [06:06] | I have some information that will show you | 我知道一些事 能够让你看到 |
| [06:08] | what kind of person Kelly really is. | 凯莉到底是什么样的人 |
| [06:10] | She told us that she’s just using you | 她跟我说 她只是想利用你 |
| [06:12] | to get an instant family. Try to deny it. | 迅速得到一个家庭 你有本事就否认 |
| [06:15] | – I don’t. – She already told me. | -我不否认 -她已经告诉我了 |
| [06:17] | I see. | 好吧 |
| [06:20] | Well, that was my big finish. | 我本来打算用这个压轴的 |
| [06:25] | Now I got nothing left except I think you dress too fancy. | 我现在没有话说了 只剩我觉得你穿得太夸张了 |
| [06:29] | Too fancy, am I right, guys? | 是不是很夸张 你们说呢 |
| [06:32] | I like it. She’s classy like Lady Bird Johnson. | 我很喜欢 她很时髦 就像约翰逊夫人一样[总统夫人] |
| [06:38] | Oh, come on. | 别这样 |
| [06:40] | You guys aren’t really buying this new Kelly, are you? | 你们不是真的相信凯莉改过自新了吧 |
| [06:44] | I admit it’s hard to believe, | 我承认这很难相信 |
| [06:46] | but without love and honesty, you can’t be happy. | 但是如果没有诚实和爱 人是无法幸福的 |
| [06:50] | That’s just another life lesson | 这是我学到的另外一节人生教训 |
| [06:51] | I learned from my furry little friend. | 是这位毛绒绒的朋友教我的 |
| [06:56] | Aww! | 矮油 |
| [06:58] | Stop doing that. | 你们够了 |
| [07:00] | You stop. | 你才够了 |
| [07:02] | Yeah, leave these two kids alone. | 是啊 别欺负这俩孩子了 |
| [07:03] | Yeah, why can’t you let people be happy? | 你为什么看不得别人幸福 |
| [07:05] | You’ve never done that once in your life. | 你这辈子一次都没这样做过 |
| [07:09] | I know, but I like to watch it. | 我知道 但我爱看 |
| [07:12] | Guys, don’t gang up on Adam. | 大家伙儿 别组团训亚当了 |
| [07:14] | He was just trying to do | 他只是做了 |
| [07:15] | what he thought was best for his friend, | 认为对朋友最好的选择 |
| [07:17] | and I think that’s amazing. | 我觉得这真是太美好了 |
| [07:20] | All right. | 矮行了 |
| [07:23] | This is over. I am intervening on this intervention. | 结束了 我强制干预了这场强制干预 |
| [07:26] | Everybody go home. | 全都回家 |
| [07:28] | How about a hand for a very brave man | 大家为这个勇敢非凡的 愿意为自己 |
| [07:31] | who stood up for what he believed in? | 所认为的事实挺胸而出的人 鼓个掌 |
| [07:36] | Go home, or I’m gonna call the cops. | 回家 不然我就报警了 |
| [07:41] | Adam, I believe Kelly’s changed. | 亚当 我想凯莉已经变了 |
| [07:43] | You believe that | 你会相信 |
| [07:44] | because you’ve always wanted a sweet sister. | 因为你一直想要个乖妹妹 |
| [07:47] | A good con man sells you what you already want to buy. | 厉害的骗子就是把你想要的卖给你 |
| [07:51] | Yeah, but if she has the nice, pretty thing I want to buy, | 对 如果她有我想买的好的漂亮的东西 |
| [07:54] | why can’t I buy it? | 我为什么不买 |
| [07:56] | One of my favorite things about you | 我最爱你的一点 |
| [07:58] | is that you always see the best in people, | 就是你总把人往好处想 |
| [08:00] | but it’s also why you bought a case of candy bars | 这也是你为什么会从一个30岁的 |
| [08:02] | from a 30-year-old claiming to raise money | 自称为高中棒球队筹款的人那里 |
| [08:04] | for his high school baseball team. | 买了一大箱子糖 |
| [08:07] | He was dyslexic. They held him back. | 他有阅读困难症 所以一直留级 |
| [08:09] | 14 times? | 留了14年 |
| [08:12] | You need to wise up, lady. | 你得聪明点 姑娘 |
| [08:15] | Okay, I-if you’re so wise, then what’s my sister’s motive | 好的 既然你是聪明人 那我妹妹装好人 |
| [08:19] | for pretending to be a good person and care about Lowell? | 关心洛厄尔的动机是什么 |
| [08:22] | She just got fired. | 她刚刚被开除 |
| [08:23] | She’s looking for a soft landing, | 在找软着陆的地方 |
| [08:25] | and Lowell is a walking marshmallow. | 而洛厄尔就是行走的棉花糖 |
| [08:29] | There is no way she’s all of a sudden a different person. | 她根本不可能突然间变成另外一个人 |
| [08:34] | She wasn’t completely rotten when we were kids. | 我们小时候她也没那么坏 |
| [08:36] | You know, one time she found a three-legged kitten | 有一次 她发现了一只三条腿的猫 |
| [08:38] | and she nursed it back to health. | 还照顾到它痊愈 |
| [08:40] | Oh, really? How do you know that kitten | 真的吗 你怎么知道这只猫 |
| [08:41] | didn’t have four legs when it met her? | 遇到她之前不是四条腿健全的 |
| [08:44] | Honey, I just don’t want to see you get hurt | 亲爱的 我只是不希望当凯莉原形毕露时 |
| [08:48] | when Kelly goes back to her old ways, | 看到你受伤 |
| [08:50] | which you know she’s gonna do. | 你知道她肯定会的 |
| [08:51] | She doesn’t care about family. | 才不在乎家庭 |
| [08:54] | The first time she held our daughter in her lap, | 她第一次把我们的女儿抱在膝上时 |
| [08:56] | Katie was ten. | 是凯蒂十岁的时候 |
| [08:58] | That’s too late and weird. | 太迟了 也太奇怪了 |
| [09:01] | Look, I’m happy to have Kelly back in my life. | 听着 凯莉回到我们的生活里 我很开心 |
| [09:05] | Great, now I got you and Lowell to worry about. | 很好 现在我要担心你和洛厄尔 |
| [09:08] | You know what? If you won’t listen to me, | 既然你不听我的 |
| [09:10] | I’ll go find someone else to talk some sense into you. | 我去找个你听的人 来劝劝你 |
| [09:13] | Honey. | 亲爱的 |
| [09:14] | You’re at the bottom of a hole | 你现在在洞底 |
| [09:15] | and you’re trying to get out by digging deeper. | 却想借着把洞挖得更深逃出来 |
| [09:17] | That’s the Adam Burns way. | 这就是亚当·伯恩斯的做法 |
| [09:19] | I’ll dig so deep I’ll hit water and shoot back up to the top. | 我会挖得更深 然后挖出水 把我弹回地面 |
| [09:25] | “Shoot back up to the top”? | 弹回地面 |
| [09:26] | It’s a hole, not a cartoon fire hydrant. | 这是洞 不是动画片里的消防栓 |
| [09:30] | Will you just talk to Andi, please? | 你去劝安迪吧 拜托了 |
| [09:32] | Tell her you agree with me? | 告诉她你赞同我说的 |
| [09:33] | I don’t agree with you. I like Kelly. | 我不赞同你说的 我喜欢凯莉 |
| [09:36] | I get tired of looking at the same nine people every day. | 我受够了每天看些千篇一律善良的人 |
| [09:40] | Then do it for me because I’m your son. | 为了我 我可是你儿子 |
| [09:42] | Sorry, boy, I’m Team Kelly. | 抱歉 孩子 我站凯莉 |
| [09:45] | You need somebody more pliable, | 你需要一个更听话 |
| [09:47] | that you can manipulate. | 能被你摆布的人 |
| [09:50] | Don! | 大唐 |
| [09:52] | Just the guy I’m looking for. | 我要找的就是你 |
| [09:54] | Listen, I’m worried about Andi, | 听着 我担心安迪 |
| [09:56] | and I’m worried about Lowell. | 也担心洛厄尔 |
| [09:58] | I think you and I need to band together and get rid of Kelly. | 我觉得你应该跟我组队 一起除掉凯莉 |
| [10:02] | Oh. This is awkward. | 这就尴尬了 |
| [10:04] | What? | 什么 |
| [10:05] | Here you go. | 给你 |
| [10:07] | Hey, Adam. Hey. | 亚当啊 |
| [10:09] | What’s she doing here? | 她在这里做什么 |
| [10:11] | I asked him to take me to the dog track, | 我请他带我去看赛狗 |
| [10:13] | show me the ropes. | 看看赛场什么样 |
| [10:15] | She cares about my interests, Adam. | 她关心我的爱好 亚当 |
| [10:17] | Plus, she’s willing to say | 再加上 她愿意说自己有糖尿病 |
| [10:18] | she’s a diabetic to get the good seats. | 我们能坐到好位置 |
| [10:21] | Oh-ho, you’re good. | 你可真棒 |
| [10:22] | Nobody cares about his interests. | 没人关心他的爱好 |
| [10:25] | All right, I’ll let you two have some brother time. | 好吧 我不打扰你们两兄弟聊天了 |
| [10:27] | All right, see you later, Kel-Bell. | 好的 一会儿见 凯铃铛 |
| [10:29] | Kel-Bell? | 凯铃铛 |
| [10:32] | Yeah, and she calls me Don-Don. | 对 她叫我唐铛铛 |
| [10:33] | We’re Kel-Bell and Don-Don. | 我们是凯铃铛和唐铛铛 |
| [10:37] | This isn’t gonna work. | 这样不行 |
| [10:38] | She already charmed you. | 她已经迷惑了你 |
| [10:40] | I need somebody with a heart of stone! | 我需要一个铁石心肠的人 |
| [10:43] | Marcy, there you are. | 玛茜 你在这儿呢 |
| [10:45] | I’ve been looking all over for you. | 我一直在找你 |
| [10:47] | Oh, hey, Adam. | 亚当 |
| [10:48] | Oh, come on. | 不是吧 |
| [10:50] | We just keep running into each other. | 我们一直在偶遇 |
| [10:53] | Why are you with her? | 你为什么跟她在一起 |
| [10:54] | Kelly showed up at my pottery class. | 凯莉去了我的制陶班 |
| [10:56] | And you don’t think that’s suspicious? | 你不觉得很可疑吗 |
| [10:59] | It’s never suspicious when someone likes pottery. | 任何喜欢陶瓷的人都不可疑 |
| [11:02] | It’s the world’s oldest hobby. | 这是世界上最古老的爱好 |
| [11:04] | Isn’t that right, Kellybean? | 对不对 凯莉豆 |
| [11:06] | What happened to Kel-Bell? You a bell or a bean? | 不是凯铃铛吗 你到底是铃铛还是豆 |
| [11:09] | You can call me “Sis.” | 你可以叫我姐妹 |
| [11:10] | Never. | 绝不 |
| [11:13] | Wh…? | 什么 |
| [11:14] | Seriously? | 真的假的 |
| [11:16] | Oh, hey, Adam. | 亚当啊 |
| [11:18] | How did you get here so quick? | 你怎么会来得这么快 |
| [11:19] | I knew I shouldn’t have stopped at Arby’s. | 我就知道不该中途去阿贝兹买快餐 |
| [11:22] | My sister brought me flowers in a vase she made herself. | 我妹妹给我买了花 放在她亲手制作的花瓶里 |
| [11:26] | It’s just a little token | 这只是一个小象征 |
| [11:28] | to show how much you mean to me. | 象征你对我多么重要 |
| [11:30] | Aw, I’ve missed you, Kelly-Belly. | 我好想你 凯莉肚肚 |
| [11:32] | Oh, now the bean bell has a belly. | 现在是豆铃铛有个肚肚了 |
| [11:35] | Well, I better go. | 我得走了 |
| [11:37] | I’m volunteering at the animal hospital. | 我现在是动物医院的志愿者 |
| [11:40] | Hey, you know who Adam reminds me of? | 你知道亚当让我想到谁了吗 |
| [11:42] | That kitten I took in. | 我刚刚收养的小猫 |
| [11:44] | He was a brave little guy just like you. | 和你一样 都是勇敢的小家伙 |
| [11:49] | How many legs that kitten have when you met it? | 你见到那只猫时 它有几条腿 |
| [11:53] | Adam, stop it. She’s being sweet. | 亚当 别这样 她现在很乖巧 |
| [11:55] | Let me tell you something. | 我告诉你些事情 |
| [11:56] | Look, all day,I have been going to our friends to enlist their support, | 一整天 我都在找朋友来支持我 |
| [11:59] | and you know who’s been there every time doing the same thing? | 你知道我回回都能碰见谁吗 |
| [12:01] | Kell-Bell, Kellybean, Kelly Belly! | 凯铃铛 凯莉豆 凯莉肚肚 |
| [12:05] | What kind of crazy person does that? | 什么样的疯子会做这种事 |
| [12:07] | You just said you do. | 你刚刚说你自己这么做的 |
| [12:10] | Look–Come on, honey, | 好了 亲爱的 |
| [12:12] | don’t you think you’re starting to spin out a little? | 你不觉得你有点失控了吗 |
| [12:14] | I mean, maybe she’s just going to see our friends | 也许她去找我们的朋友 |
| [12:17] | because she wants relationships with them. | 是因为她想跟他们当朋友 |
| [12:19] | Or… | 或者 |
| [12:20] | she’s tracking me. | 她在跟踪我 |
| [12:23] | I’m under surveillance, Andi. | 我被监视了 安迪 |
| [12:25] | – What? – Tracking devices. | -什么 -跟踪设备 |
| [12:27] | Aren’t you listening? | 你怎么不听我说话 |
| [12:30] | I bet she is. | 我打赌她肯定监视了 |
| [12:33] | I’m on to you, Kelly. | 我不会放过你的 凯莉 |
| [12:48] | What’s all this? | 这是怎么回事 |
| [12:51] | Adam, we love you | 亚当 我们很爱你 |
| [12:52] | and we feel like we’re losing you. | 但我们觉得快要失去你了 |
| [12:57] | What? | 什么 |
| [12:58] | It’s an intervention, man. | 这是强制干预 弟弟 |
| [13:00] | You’re too upset because Kelly’s so foxy. | 你这么生气 是因为凯莉太妖孽了 |
| [13:04] | Thanks, Don-Don. | 谢谢你 唐铛铛 |
| [13:07] | You’re having an intervention for me? | 你们要对我进行强制干预 |
| [13:09] | We want to talk about how you’re treating Kelly. | 我们想谈谈你是怎么对待凯莉的 |
| [13:11] | We like Kelly. We like her more than you. | 我们喜欢凯莉 比喜欢你更喜欢 |
| [13:15] | I appreciate that you’re looking out for me, | 谢谢你愿意为我着想 |
| [13:17] | but I love being Kelly’s boyfriend. | 但我喜欢当凯莉的男朋友 |
| [13:19] | I’m darn proud to be number 65. | 我非常骄傲地成为第65号 |
| [13:23] | And I love having my sister back. | 我喜欢妹妹重回怀抱 |
| [13:25] | You know how sometimes you just | 有时候你不是为了让我开心 |
| [13:26] | go along with things to make me happy? | 就随波逐流了吗 |
| [13:29] | Do that now. | 现在就做吧 |
| [13:31] | Okay, if she’s so wonderful now | 如果她现在这么好 |
| [13:32] | and really cares about Lowell, | 真的关心洛厄尔 |
| [13:34] | then she’ll be able to answer a simple question about him. | 那她能回答出来关于洛厄尔的问题 |
| [13:36] | Kelly, when’s Lowell’s birthday? | 凯莉 洛厄尔的生日是哪天 |
| [13:38] | February 11. | 2月11号 |
| [13:40] | February 11, huh? | 2月11号 是吧 |
| [13:42] | Is that right, Lowell? | 对吗 洛厄尔 |
| [13:45] | I don’t know, is it, Adam? | 我不知道 对吗 亚当 |
| [13:49] | Okay, I got out over my skis on that one. | 好吧 那我跳过这一题 |
| [13:51] | How about this? | 这个怎么样 |
| [13:52] | When is Andi’s birthday? | 安迪的生日是哪天 |
| [13:53] | June 15. | 6月15号 |
| [13:55] | You better not ask me if that’s right. | 你最好别问我对不对 |
| [13:57] | Okay, this is a waste of time. | 这就是在浪费时间 |
| [14:00] | I know I know what I know and I’m not wrong about her. | 我知道我不会错 我不会看错她 |
| [14:03] | You’re all the wrong ones. | 你们才是错的 |
| [14:04] | Wrong, wrong, wrong, | 错的 错的 错的 |
| [14:06] | wrong, evil, wrong. Right! | 错的 魔鬼 错的 对的 |
| [14:11] | That intervention was a dirty trick. | 那个强制干预太卑鄙了 |
| [14:15] | Hey, you were talking to flowers. | 你都对一盆花说话了 |
| [14:18] | I mean, they put people in hospitals for that. | 他们会把这种人送进医院 |
| [14:21] | I’m sorry. | 对不起 |
| [14:22] | I just don’t believe people change. | 我只是相信本性难移 |
| [14:26] | – You did. – What? | -你就变了 -什么 |
| [14:28] | Before we got married, | 我们结婚前 |
| [14:29] | you never talked about your feelings. | 你从来都不说自己的感受 |
| [14:31] | Well, I don’t want to talk about that. | 我不想讨论这个 |
| [14:34] | And you had a hard time admitting when you were wrong. | 当你错了你还不愿意承认 |
| [14:36] | I disagree. | 我不同意 |
| [14:38] | And you had a real black shoe, white sock problem. | 你还有一个黑鞋配白袜的问题 |
| [14:41] | I was into Michael Jackson. | 我当时很迷迈克尔·杰克逊 |
| [14:45] | But I stuck with it too long. | 但是沉迷太久 |
| [14:48] | Right, when you see evidence that you’re wrong, | 没错 当你发现自己错了的时候 |
| [14:50] | you-you always come around. | 你总会迷途知返 |
| [14:52] | So give Kelly a chance. | 所以就给凯莉一次机会 |
| [14:55] | Oh, God… | 我的天 |
| [15:01] | I’ll think about it. | 我会考虑下 |
| [15:04] | Hey, Kelly. | 凯莉 |
| [15:06] | Uh, thanks for stopping by. | 谢谢你过来 |
| [15:07] | Uh, here, have a seat. | 这里 坐吧 |
| [15:09] | No problem. | 没问题 |
| [15:11] | The new me always comes when family calls. | 全新的我总会在家人打电话后赶过来 |
| [15:13] | But I hope you’re not gonna say anything hurtful, | 希望你不会说一些伤人的话 |
| [15:16] | because the new me’s heart is much more sensitive. | 因为全新的我的小心脏更敏感了 |
| [15:19] | Oh, no, no. | 不 不会 |
| [15:20] | No, actually… | 不 实际上 |
| [15:22] | I wanted to apologize. | 我想向你道歉 |
| [15:24] | A-And as a peace offering, | 作为求和的礼物 |
| [15:26] | I got you some hummus. | 我给你买了点鹰嘴豆泥 |
| [15:27] | Which, I am told, is yogurt for fancy people. | 我听说是上层人的酸奶 |
| [15:32] | Here’s a spoon. | 勺子在这 |
| [15:34] | Oh, I just had a tub of hummus, but thanks. | 我刚吃了一盆 但还是谢谢 |
| [15:39] | Ah, o-okay.Well, okay, here’s the thing. | 好吧 事情是这样 |
| [15:45] | I was judging you on past behavior | 我以你过去的行为评价你 |
| [15:48] | and Andi pointed out that people can change. | 但安迪指出人是会改变的 |
| [15:52] | So, I wanted to look you in the eye | 所以我想直视你的眼睛 |
| [15:54] | and tell you I’m sorry. | 告诉你我很抱歉 |
| [15:58] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [15:59] | That really means a lot. | 这对我来说意义重大 |
| [16:01] | Good. A-And, and I hope we can put all this | 很好 我希望我们可以不计前嫌 |
| [16:03] | behind us and start fresh. | 重新开始 |
| [16:05] | Of course. | 当然可以 |
| [16:07] | We’re family. | 我们是家人 |
| [16:08] | We’re gonna be in each other’s lives forever. | 我们会永远在彼此的生活里 |
| [16:11] | And it’s just nice to think that | 光想想就美好 |
| [16:13] | when I sit across from you at Thanksgiving, | 当感恩节我们面对面坐时 |
| [16:16] | I will know… | 我就知道 |
| [16:18] | that I owned you. | 我驯服了你 |
| [16:24] | What? | 什么 |
| [16:26] | I got to admit, you were tough. | 不得不承认 你真的很难对付 |
| [16:29] | I knew after the intervention | 我知道强制干预后 |
| [16:30] | that you were the only one that wouldn’t buy the new me. | 你是唯一不相信我改过自新的人 |
| [16:33] | I haven’t changed at all. | 我一点都没变 |
| [16:35] | In fact, I’m probably a little worse. | 事实上 我可能变得更坏了 |
| [16:41] | So I was right. | 所以我之前是对的 |
| [16:43] | Yeah, but I got you acting so crazy | 对 但我逼你表现得那么疯狂 |
| [16:46] | that you’ve lost all credibility. | 你已经失去所有的可信度了 |
| [16:48] | Which is why I feel comfortable | 这也就是我为什么这么放心 |
| [16:50] | sharing the truth with you now. | 和你分享这个真相 |
| [16:52] | No one will believe you. | 没人会相信你 |
| [17:01] | That’s right. Drink it in. | 没错 好好消化吧 |
| [17:03] | Oh, and another thing. | 还有件事 |
| [17:05] | Hummus isn’t yogurt, you country bumpkin. | 鹰嘴豆泥不是酸奶 你这个乡巴佬 |
| [17:10] | Oh, well, um, I’m sorry, I-I didn’t know, I… | 对不起 我不知道 |
| [17:15] | Well, since you didn’t eat it, I guess… | 既然你没吃 那我 |
| [17:18] | I’ll just make you eat your words. | 我只能让你自食其果了 |
| [17:25] | Andi. | 安迪 |
| [17:27] | Maybe you did pull that kitten’s leg off. | 或许就是你把小猫的腿弄断的 |
| [17:31] | I– He thinks he tricked me, but I knew you were in there. | 他以为他骗到了我 但我知道你在里面 |
| [17:36] | I just said that stuff | 我刚说的那些话 |
| [17:37] | so you could see that he didn’t really mean his apology. | 是让你看清他不是在真心道歉 |
| [17:41] | He drugged me. | 他给我下了药 |
| [17:45] | This is so fun. | 这太好玩了 |
| [17:48] | You see, what I did was, I convinced Andi | 我所做的是说服安迪 |
| [17:52] | to listen to make sure I did a good job apologizing. | 来这以确保我把道歉做好 |
| [17:55] | But I knew you couldn’t resist | 但我知道你肯定抑制不住 |
| [17:57] | rubbing it in once I caved. | 在我屈服的时候落井下石 |
| [17:59] | People don’t change. | 本性难移 |
| [18:01] | I wear white socks when you go out of town. | 你出城的时候我还是穿白袜子 |
| [18:05] | Adam Burns for the win. | 亚当·伯恩斯赢了 |
| [18:07] | Yeah, that’s right. You may have fooled me, | 对 你可能糊弄了我 |
| [18:10] | but the man I married is pathologically suspicious | 但我嫁的男人有病态多疑症 |
| [18:12] | and sometimes that comes in handy. | 有时候会派上用场 |
| [18:15] | And I know what hummus is. | 我也知道鹰嘴豆泥是什么 |
| [18:17] | I was just trying to make you eat it ’cause it’s expired. | 我只是想让你吃它 因为它已经过期了 |
| [18:22] | Now everyone will believe me. | 现在所有人都相信我了 |
| [18:24] | And– Wait. Where’s Don and Marcy? | 等等 唐和玛茜在哪 |
| [18:26] | I told them to wait in the pantry, too. | 我让他们也在储物室等着 |
| [18:31] | How much longer do we have to be in here? | 我们还要在这等多久 |
| [18:34] | I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
| [18:35] | Adam just said wait in the pantry. | 亚当就让我们储物室里等着 |
| [18:42] | Lowell, we’re sorry Kelly’s not who you thought she was. | 洛厄尔 抱歉凯莉不是你想的那样 |
| [18:45] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [18:48] | Maybe during this difficult time, you’ll find some comfort | 或许在这个难熬时期 你能有所安慰 |
| [18:50] | in the fact that I was right all along. | 我一直都是对的 |
| [18:54] | I can’t believe this. | 太难以置信了 |
| [18:56] | I changed so much for her. | 我为她改变了那么多 |
| [18:58] | I grew hair on my face | 我在脸上留了毛发 |
| [18:59] | and got rid of it everywhere else. | 其他地方都脱了毛 |
| [19:01] | My whole body’s a five-o’clock shadow right now. | 我现在全身都是小毛茬 |
| [19:07] | Lowell. | 洛厄尔 |
| [19:09] | Kelly. | 凯莉 |
| [19:11] | I’ve come to say good-bye. | 我来道个别 |
| [19:13] | I meant what I said. | 我说的都是认真的 |
| [19:15] | I have loved our time together. | 我很享受我们在一起的时候 |
| [19:17] | Is not being a good person really a deal breaker? | 不是好人真的不可接受吗 |
| [19:21] | Historically, it’s been important. | 从历史上来看 那确实很重要 |
| [19:24] | Although you set a high bar sexually, | 不过你在性方面达到了一定的高度 |
| [19:26] | so maybe from time to time we could just… | 或许有时我们可以只 |
| [19:29] | No. | 不 |
| [19:30] | – Maybe just sexy Skype? – No. | – 要不只是色情视频 -不 |
| [19:32] | Lowell, go upstairs while we secure the premises. | 洛厄尔 在确保房子安全前到楼上去 |
| [19:35] | Maybe use my raser and shave, | 要不用下我的剃须刀 |
| [19:38] | just the face | 只能用在脸上 |
| [19:41] | I’ll be outside. | 我会搬出去 |
| [19:42] | I am very sorry for all the hurt, I… | 我很抱歉 造成了这么多的伤害 |
| [19:45] | Wait, I don’t have to be nice any more. Bye. | 等等 我不用这么友好了 再见 |
| [19:51] | Oh, you were right. | 你是对的 |
| [19:53] | She is never gonna change. | 她不会改变的 |
| [19:55] | Yeah, you can’t pick your family. You stuck with them. | 你不能选择家人 无法摆脱 |
| [19:59] | But the good news is, | 但好消息是 |
| [20:01] | I got to pick you, | 我选择了你 |
| [20:03] | and I definely get the good sister. | 而且我绝对选到了好的那一个 |
| [20:06] | Oh, and only 96 of men can say that. | 只有96个男的这么说过 |
| [20:10] | – What? – I’m kidding. | -什么 -开玩笑的啦 |
| [20:12] | That’s not funny. I don’t like that. | 这不好笑 我不喜欢 |