| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:04] | Can I have $20? | 能给我20吗 |
| [00:06] | I’m not gonna just give you $20. You have to work to earn money. | 我不会白给你20的 你得付出努力才行 |
| [00:10] | I’ve been hanging with you all day. | 我都跟你待一天了 |
| [00:15] | Hey, I thought you were at the movies. | 你不是去看电影了吗 |
| [00:16] | Oh, I was, and then Teddy texted, | 是啊 然后泰迪发来短信说 |
| [00:19] | “Mom, emergency, need deodorant ASAP.” | “妈 紧急情况 急需除臭剂” |
| [00:24] | That’s not good. Deodorant’s like a parachute– | 不太妙啊 除臭剂就像降落伞 |
| [00:27] | if you suddenly realize you need it, it’s probably too late. | 如果突然发现自己需要 一般已经晚了 |
| [00:31] | Where’s my sweaty boy? | 我家的汗臭小子呢 |
| [00:32] | He’s up in his room. | 在他房间里 |
| [00:37] | You’re not gonna warn her? | 你不提醒她一句吗 |
| [00:39] | Where’s the fun in that? | 那还有什么意思 |
| [00:44] | Girl! | 女孩 |
| [00:46] | I just caught Teddy in his room with a girl. | 我刚才看到泰迪和一个女孩在房间里 |
| [00:50] | And get this, she’s a year older than him. | 而且你知道吗 她比他大一岁 |
| [00:53] | Kid’s punching above his weight. | 他还挑战了高难度 |
| [00:56] | You knew about this? | 你早就知道吗 |
| [00:57] | Yeah, well, they’re just doing homework. It’s innocent. | 对 他们只是一起写作业 没什么的 |
| [01:01] | There are blankets in there, Adam. | 里面有毯子 亚当 |
| [01:04] | Do you know what blankets hide? | 你知道毯子能藏住什么吗 |
| [01:07] | Of course I do. If I hadn’t kept a blanket in my truck, | 我当然知道 要是我当初车里没放毯子 |
| [01:10] | we would’ve gotten arrested every time we parked | 我们每次停车超过五分钟 |
| [01:12] | for more than five minutes. Ugh. | 都得被人发现 |
| [01:16] | Two things. | 我想说两件事 |
| [01:17] | One, I’m in the room and you’re grossing me out. | 第一 我还在呢 你们把我恶心到了 |
| [01:20] | Okay, two, | 第二 |
| [01:21] | you’re really grossing me out. I just wanted to say that again. | 你们把我恶心到了 我就想多说一次 |
| [01:27] | Hold on, what’re you doing? | 等等 你要干什么 |
| [01:28] | I’m getting those blankets out of there. | 我要把毯子拿走 |
| [01:29] | I’m saving my baby before he gets tangled in her web. | 得赶在我儿子被她的蛛网缠死之前救下他 |
| [01:33] | Would you leave them alone? | 你能别打扰人家吗 |
| [01:37] | Teddy is barely a teenager, Adam, | 泰迪几乎连青少年都不算 亚当 |
| [01:39] | and he has a girl in his room. | 结果房间里就有女孩了 |
| [01:43] | That’s a good point. I should go tell him I’m proud of him. | 说得有道理 我得跟他说爸爸很骄傲 |
| [01:49] | Okay, your mother and I had a talk… | 是这样 我和你妈聊了聊… |
| [01:51] | You mean, she talked, you listened. | 你是说 她负责说 你负责听 |
| [01:54] | I’ve seen it. | 我见过 |
| [02:00] | Actually, this time I talked. | 其实 这次是我负责说 |
| [02:02] | I explained how all of this is normal, | 我跟她解释了你这样很正常 |
| [02:04] | and she promised not to yell “girl” anymore. | 她也保证下次不会乱叫”女孩”了 |
| [02:08] | In exchange, you’ll have to share a milkshake with her every so often. | 作为交换 你得时不时跟她共享奶昔 |
| [02:12] | One glass, two straws. | 一个杯子 两根吸管 |
| [02:15] | But if you’re gonna have girls over, which– congratulations… | 不过如果你要邀请女孩来家里 恭喜你 |
| [02:19] | …there are rules. | 得给你定点规矩 |
| [02:21] | Okay, first, no girls in your room with the door closed | 首先 女孩在你房间里时不能关门 |
| [02:24] | and-and no sitting on the bed. | 而且不能坐在床上 |
| [02:25] | Now, couches are okay with a two-cushion buffer. | 可以隔着两个抱枕坐在沙发上 |
| [02:33] | Look, but don’t touch, hmm? | 只能看 不能摸 懂吗 |
| [02:35] | Same rules as the ceiling fan. | 跟电风扇是一个规矩 |
| [02:38] | There’s no touching, we’re just friends. | 不会摸的 我们只是朋友 |
| [02:41] | But I wish she was my girlfriend. | 但是我希望她能当我女朋友 |
| [02:44] | Teddy, wh-when you say you want her to be your girlfriend, | 泰迪 你说希望她当你女朋友 |
| [02:47] | what does that mean to you? | 是怎么个意思 |
| [02:49] | Well, I’d like her to sit with me at lunch. | 就是 希望午饭跟她坐在一起吃 |
| [02:52] | Save me a seat in Spanish class. | 她帮我占西班牙语课的位置 |
| [02:54] | Mm-hmm. That’s nice. | 很好啊 |
| [02:55] | And next week at Jeremy’s roller-skating party, | 还有下周杰里米的轮滑派对上 |
| [02:58] | I’d like to go all the way… | 我想跟她做… |
| [02:59] | What?! | 什么 |
| [03:01] | …around the rink with her. | 做全场最靓的组合 |
| [03:02] | You know, | 就是 |
| [03:03] | hold her hand during couples’ skate. | 双人轮滑的时候拉着她的手 |
| [03:05] | – Oh, o-okay, okay. – Yeah, okay. | -哦这个意思啊 -好 |
| [03:07] | Yeah. | 对 |
| [03:07] | I just don’t know how to get her from friend to girlfriend. | 但是我不知道怎么把她从朋友变成女朋友 |
| [03:14] | Teddy, my boy, you were born to the right father. | 泰迪 你真是找对爹了 |
| [03:18] | This is like Bruce Lee’s son saying he wants to learn kung fu. | 这就像李小龙的儿子说他想学功夫一样 |
| [03:23] | Or he could just learn it on his own. | 他也可以自己慢慢学 |
| [03:32] | – Andi. – Yeah. | -安迪 -怎么 |
| [03:33] | I’ve been waiting 14 years for this moment. | 我等这一天已经等了14年 |
| [03:36] | I didn’t go through all that time from when he was born | 我从他出生那天开始 等到现在 |
| [03:38] | to now for nothing. | 我容易吗我 |
| [03:40] | Teddy, the lessons will begin tomorrow. | 泰迪 明天开始给你上课 |
| [03:45] | Thanks, Dad. | 谢了 爸 |
| [03:49] | Aw. Lessons? | 上课 |
| [03:51] | The kid’s got natural talent, | 这孩子有天赋 |
| [03:53] | like his father before him. | 有他爸的风范 |
| [03:56] | Okay? I am a well-known wooer. | 你懂吗 我是出了名的撩妹高手 |
| [03:59] | Teddy is a Burns man, | 泰迪是伯恩斯家的男人 |
| [04:01] | and he has finally found his thing. | 他终于找到了自己的根基 |
| [04:05] | His “thing” is what I’m worried about. | 我就是担心他的”根基” |
| [04:18] | Now listen, getting out of the “friend zone” is tricky. | 你听好 走出”朋友区”是很难的 |
| [04:22] | I’ve heard. It’s never actually happened to me. | 我只是听说 我没遇到过 |
| [04:26] | Hey, what’s up, fellas? | 你们好啊 |
| [04:27] | Dad’s teaching me about girls. | 爸爸在教我怎么追女孩 |
| [04:30] | Without us? | 不带我们吗 |
| [04:32] | Yes, intentionally without you. | 对 故意不带你的 |
| [04:36] | I’m helping him turn a friend into a girlfriend. | 我要帮他把一位朋友变成女朋友 |
| [04:38] | It is not easy to do. | 很不容易 |
| [04:40] | Take it from a guy who’s been a maid of honor three times. | 我已经当伴娘当了三次了 |
| [04:46] | Don’t listen to them, listen to me. | 别听他们的 听我的 |
| [04:48] | And that’s just a good rule in general. | 刚才那个只是一个大规律 |
| [04:50] | Now, any romance is a complicated operation; | 每个浪漫瞬间都是一场复杂行动 |
| [04:54] | it requires strategic planning. | 需要精密的战略规划 |
| [04:56] | And what happens when we don’t have a plan, Teddy? | 如果没有规划好会怎么样 泰迪 |
| [04:58] | We get lost, argue with Mom, and then eventually look at a map. | 会迷路 跟妈妈吵架 然后看地图 |
| [05:05] | Orlando is a poorly designed city. | 那是奥兰多的城市设计太差了 |
| [05:09] | The point is, we need a plan. | 重点是 我们需要计划 |
| [05:11] | No, he doesn’t need a plan. | 不 他不需要计划 |
| [05:14] | I mean, if you must get involved, | 你要是非得干涉的话 |
| [05:16] | at least don’t teach him nonsense. | 至少别误导他呀 |
| [05:19] | What are you doing in here? | 你怎么会来这里 |
| [05:23] | I’m dusting, | 我在除尘 |
| [05:24] | like I do. | 我经常这样的 |
| [05:27] | No, you don’t. | 你从来不除尘 |
| [05:29] | That’s not even a real duster. | 你那都不是真掸子 |
| [05:30] | It came with your sexy maid Halloween costume. | 是你买性感万圣节制服送的 |
| [05:36] | Well, I’m here now, and I have something to say. | 反正我来了 我有话要说 |
| [05:41] | Teddy… | 泰迪 |
| [05:45] | Teddy, relationships can’t be planned. | 泰迪 感情是不能计划的 |
| [05:48] | They-they blossom naturally through chemistry. | 它们会随着化学反应自然滋生 |
| [05:52] | It-It’s magic, | 这是一种魔法 |
| [05:53] | and magic can’t be faked. | 魔法是不能伪造的 |
| [05:57] | Literally all of magic is fake. | 所有魔法都是伪造的 |
| [06:00] | Don’t you say that. | 不许你这样说 |
| [06:03] | Look, I agree with Adam. | 我同意亚当的观点 |
| [06:06] | Sometimes being yourself isn’t enough. | 有时候做自己是不够的 |
| [06:07] | Oh, everyone be quiet, the divorced guy’s talking. | 大家都安静 听这位离异男讲话 |
| [06:12] | Look, I’ve never had a plan, | 我从来没计划过 |
| [06:14] | and I’ve had a lot of dates end with a friendly handshake. | 所以好多次约会都以友好握手告终 |
| [06:17] | I’ve walked into a lot of weddings | 我参加许多次婚礼 |
| [06:19] | on the arm of the best man. | 都是挽着伴郎的胳膊去的 |
| [06:22] | We get it, you agree with me. | 行了 知道你赞同我 |
| [06:24] | Go dust something. | 你去除尘吧 |
| [06:28] | I’m just saying that there are moments that can’t be faked. | 我只是想说 有些瞬间是不能伪造的 |
| [06:32] | Like, when we were first dating, | 比如我们刚开始约会的时候 |
| [06:34] | a waitress came to our table and she said, | 有个服务员来到我们桌前说 |
| [06:36] | “You two are the cutest couple. You’re perfect for each other,” | “你们真是太般配了 天造地设” |
| [06:40] | and that’s when I knew it was right. | 当时我就知道对了 |
| [06:42] | It was magic. Admit it. | 这就是魔法 承认吧 |
| [06:44] | Oh, yeah, yeah. That was a truck blanket night. Yeah. | 是啊 那天晚上车里的毯子很不安分 |
| [06:50] | So, Teddy, if you want this girl to like you, | 泰迪 如果你希望这个女孩喜欢你 |
| [06:53] | just let the magic happen. | 要顺其自然等魔法发生 |
| [06:56] | Or don’t do that, and get yourself a girlfriend. | 或者换个方式 让她直接成为你女朋友 |
| [07:01] | Your choice. | 你来选 |
| [07:03] | Sorry, Mom, I’m going with Dad. | 抱歉 妈 我想听爸爸的 |
| [07:07] | He’s no dummy. | 他可不笨 |
| [07:11] | You want to learn to cook? You come to Chef Boyardee. | 要是想学厨艺 要来找厨师博伊尔迪 |
| [07:16] | Are you Chef Boyardee or Bruce Lee? | 你到底是厨师博伊尔迪还是李小龙 |
| [07:19] | I’m dinner and a movie. | 我又会做晚餐又会拍电影 |
| [07:22] | I do it all, baby. | 就是这么完美 |
| [07:26] | All right, now you just need to shift the conversation | 接下来你就需要把对话内容 |
| [07:28] | from friend stuff to asking her to the skate party. | 从朋友间聊天转换到邀请她去轮滑派对 |
| [07:32] | Here, we-we’ll do a demonstration. | 这样 我们示范一下 |
| [07:33] | Don, you be Madison. | 老唐 你演麦迪森 |
| [07:35] | That makes sense. | 确实应该我演 |
| [07:37] | Hey, Madison, how’s it going? | 麦迪森 你好吗 |
| [07:39] | Cool, cool. | 好 |
| [07:41] | Now you’re grooving, so you hit her with, | 这下气氛正好 你就直接说 |
| [07:44] | “Hey, are you going to Jeremy’s skate party?” | “你打算去杰里米的轮滑派对吗” |
| [07:46] | I was thinking about it. | 我在考虑 |
| [07:47] | Yeah? Me, too. Hey, | 是吗 我也在想 |
| [07:50] | I just thought of something, we should go together. | 我刚想到 我们应该一起去 |
| [07:53] | Sorry, I don’t date guys shorter than me. | 抱歉 我不跟比我矮的男人约会 |
| [07:57] | I knew you’d ruin it. I just didn’t know when. | 我就知道你要砸我场子 只是不知道什么时候 |
| [08:00] | Look, Teddy, next, we need to manufacture some magic. | 泰迪 接下来 我们需要制造一些魔法 |
| [08:05] | Okay? Set up a situation | 懂吗 设定一个场景 |
| [08:06] | where it looks like fate caused you to run into her. | 好像命运让你遇到她一样 |
| [08:09] | Girls love that. | 女孩很喜欢这一套 |
| [08:11] | Can you get your hands on an ice cream truck? | 你能搞到冰淇淋车吗 |
| [08:13] | The music will do the work for you. | 冰淇淋车的音乐是好助攻 |
| [08:16] | I got it, I got it. | 我想到了 |
| [08:17] | You casually bump into her | 她在等爸妈来接她时 |
| [08:19] | while she’s waiting for her parents at pickup. | 你就很随意地遇到她 |
| [08:21] | Madison rides her bike to school. | 麦迪森是骑自行车上学的 |
| [08:23] | Hmm, okay, uh– Oh. | 好吧 |
| [08:25] | How about this? | 那这样吧 |
| [08:27] | You slip out during lunch and you pop a hole in her tire. | 你午休的时候溜出去 把她轮胎扎爆 |
| [08:30] | Then you can patch it for her like I taught you last week. | 然后你可以按我上周教你的方法补好 |
| [08:33] | I remember you showing me, but I stopped paying attention | 我记得你教我 但是后来就没好好听 |
| [08:36] | because I realized if I ever needed it, you could do it. | 因为我想到如果需要的时候 可以找你 |
| [08:39] | Fine, just let the air out of her tire, | 好吧 那你就直接给她放气 |
| [08:41] | then offer to push her bike home. | 然后提出帮她把自行车推回家 |
| [08:43] | During the walk, you ask her to the party. | 在路上 你邀请她去派对 |
| [08:45] | That’s great. Yeah. | 太棒了 |
| [08:47] | Wait, what if she says no? | 等等 万一她拒绝呢 |
| [08:50] | Ah, always remember two words, “Just kidding.” | 永远记住四个字 “开玩笑的” |
| [08:53] | They get you out of any embarrassing situation. | 任何尴尬的时刻都可以解决 |
| [08:55] | Except when you try to steal a monkey from the zoo. | 除非你想从动物园里偷猴子 |
| [08:58] | They count those things every night. | 他们每天晚上都会点数量 |
| [09:05] | I’m telling you. | 我提醒一句 |
| [09:08] | What’s all this? | 这是什么情况 |
| [09:09] | Oh, it’s a celebration. | 我们在庆祝 |
| [09:10] | Yeah, Teddy’s asking Madison out today, | 对 泰迪今天要约麦迪森 |
| [09:12] | so I invited the guys over to share in my victory– | 所以我就邀请大家来共享我的胜利 |
| [09:16] | Teddy-Teddy’s victory. | 泰迪 泰迪的胜利 |
| [09:18] | We come from a long line of ladies’ men. | 我们家祖祖辈辈都是撩妹达人 |
| [09:20] | First me, then Donny, and now Teddy. | 先是我 然后小唐 现在是泰迪 |
| [09:25] | Well said, Pop. | 说得好 爸爸 |
| [09:27] | There he is. How’d it go, champ? | 回来了 怎么样 帅哥 |
| [09:31] | Madison said no. | 麦迪森拒绝了 |
| [09:32] | What happened? Did you push her bike home? | 怎么回事 你帮她推车了吗 |
| [09:35] | It was hot. Did you forget deodorant? | 外面很热 你是不是忘记除臭了 |
| [09:38] | No, it just didn’t work. | 就是没成 |
| [09:40] | That’s because it was all a setup. | 因为全都是设计好的 |
| [09:41] | You can’t manufacture magic. Women can always tell. | 魔法是不能制造的 女人能看出来 |
| [09:46] | No, snacks are for closers. | 不行 赢家才能吃零食 |
| [09:49] | Don’t worry, Teddy, we’ll figure this out. | 别担心 泰迪 我们能搞定 |
| [09:52] | Actually, if you want to get closer to a woman, | 其实 如果你想拉近你和一个女人的距离 |
| [09:54] | you should probably talk to a woman. | 也许你应该跟一个女人聊聊 |
| [09:56] | Where am I gonna get one of those? That’s my whole problem. | 我去哪找女人 这就是问题所在啊 |
| [10:00] | Me, Teddy. I’m a woman. | 我呀 泰迪 我是女人 |
| [10:02] | I can, I can help you if you want. | 如果你需要的话 我可以帮忙 |
| [10:04] | Really? That’s awesome. Thanks, Mom. | 真的吗 那太好了 谢谢妈 |
| [10:06] | Yeah. Hold on. | 等等 |
| [10:09] | What about me? | 那我呢 |
| [10:10] | You’re out. I need results. | 你出局了 我需要结果 |
| [10:15] | I don’t get this. I gave him solid gold material. | 我不明白 我给他编的故事无懈可击 |
| [10:18] | That’s the point. | 问题就在这里 |
| [10:20] | You gave him material, right? It wasn’t real. | 你帮他编故事 对吧 故事不是真的 |
| [10:23] | You-you call yourself this great wooer… | 你说你是撩妹高手 |
| [10:26] | But you whiffed. | 但你搞砸了 |
| [10:27] | You’re a whiffer. | 你是破坏者 |
| [10:30] | He needs a woman to help him with this, Adam. | 这件事他需要一个女人来帮忙 亚当 |
| [10:32] | I know what women want. | 我知道女人都喜欢什么 |
| [10:33] | Okay, if I don’t know what women want, how did I get you? | 好，如果我不知道女人需要什么，我是怎么追到你了？ |
| [10:36] | That was magic. | 那是魔法 |
| [10:38] | You didn’t do anything. | 不是因为你 |
| [10:40] | Oh, really? You know, | 真的吗 你知道吗 |
| [10:43] | it’s interesting you would say that, | 没想到你会这么说 |
| [10:45] | because you know that story about the waitress you love so much? | 关于你特别喜欢的女服务员故事对吗 |
| [10:48] | Mm-hmm. Yeah? Yeah. | 知道吗 |
| [10:49] | I paid her ten dollars to say we were a perfect couple. | 是我给了她十美金让她说我们是天造地设的一对儿 |
| [10:53] | Manufactured magic. | 人造魔法 |
| [10:55] | And it worked. Ha! | 效果很好 |
| [10:59] | So, the precious moment that I remember | 所以我记忆里特别珍贵的那个时刻 |
| [11:03] | as the universe giving me a sign that we were meant to be… | 以为是宇宙暗示我 我们是命中注定在一起的 |
| [11:06] | was a trick? | 是个骗局 |
| [11:08] | Come on. It’s funny. It’s the old | 别这样 很有趣 |
| [11:11] | “you married a different guy than you thought” gag. | 是老套的所嫁非人戏码。 |
| [11:21] | Remember the thing I said about giving that waitress ten dollars? | 记得我说我给了服务员十美金的故事吗 |
| [11:24] | Just kidding. | 开玩笑的 |
| [11:28] | I’m just saying, if I hadn’t paid that waitress | 我只是想说 如果我没有给服务员钱 |
| [11:30] | to say we were perfect for each other, | 让她说我们是天造地设的 |
| [11:32] | we might not even be together. | 我们可能就不会在一起了 |
| [11:33] | You ever think of that? | 你想过没有 |
| [11:34] | I’m thinking about it right now. | 我现在就在想 |
| [11:37] | But everything worked out. | 但结果不是很好吗 |
| [11:38] | Look at us! We’re in love. | 看看我们 彼此相爱 |
| [11:43] | What you don’t get is that you didn’t need to do it. | 你不明白 是你不用做这些 |
| [11:45] | I already liked you. | 我就已经喜欢上你了 |
| [11:47] | Well, and I already liked you, too. | 我当时也喜欢你 |
| [11:49] | That’s why I had to play all those tricks and lock it down. | 所以我才会搞那些小骗局 把你套牢 |
| [11:53] | – All those tricks? There’s more? – No. Who said that? | -那些小骗局 不止一个 -不是 谁说的 |
| [11:58] | I’m starting to question a lot of things. | 有很多事我要重新考虑考虑了 |
| [12:01] | Wh-Wh… What about that night in your apartment | 那晚在你家 灯突然灭了 |
| [12:03] | when the lights went out, so you lit a bunch of candles, | 然后你点了很多蜡烛 把上衣脱了修灯 |
| [12:05] | and then you took your shirt off to fix it? | 是真的还是假的 |
| [12:08] | I cut the power. | 我把电掐了 |
| [12:12] | But my muscles were real and so were my feelings for you. | 但我的肌肉是真的 我对你的爱也是 |
| [12:17] | Mm. Mm-hmm. And that wounded dove | 你送到我家那只 |
| [12:19] | that you brought over to my house to nurse back to health? | 受伤的鸽子 然后养好了 |
| [12:21] | Did you choke it out so I could see your soft and gentle side? | 是不是你给它弄伤 然后表现你有多温柔 |
| [12:26] | No! I would never do that. | 不是 我绝对不会的 |
| [12:30] | I soaked some bread in cough medicine. | 我给它喂了点泡过咳嗽药的面包 |
| [12:34] | But it’s still a great memory. | 可那段回忆多美好啊 |
| [12:35] | And that bird got the best sleep of his life. | 而且那只鸟睡了最香的一觉 |
| [12:39] | You are unbelievable. | 你真是难以置信 |
| [12:40] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [12:42] | But you’re not saying it like it’s a compliment. | 可你这句话好像不是在夸我 |
| [12:46] | Mom, do you have time to talk about Madison? | 妈 我们可以聊聊麦迪森的事吗 |
| [12:48] | Of course, honey. | 当然了 亲爱的 |
| [12:51] | I’ll make us a milkshake. | 我去做点奶昔我们喝 |
| [12:52] | One glass, two straws. | 一个杯子 两根吸管 |
| [12:57] | If you want to come back to Team Dad, | 要是你重新站回爸爸队这边 |
| [12:59] | I got some ideas to figure this out. | 我给你出几个好主意 |
| [13:00] | We get you and Madison in an elevator. | 让你和麦迪森一起进电梯 |
| [13:02] | I cut the power. Oh. | 然后我把电掐了 |
| [13:04] | Or a Ferris wheel, huh? | 或者你们去坐摩天轮 |
| [13:06] | I cut the power. | 我把电掐了 |
| [13:07] | I’m good. | 不用了 |
| [13:10] | Fine. | 行吧 |
| [13:13] | Wouldn’t even be here if I hadn’t cut the power. | 要不是当初我把电掐了 都没有你小子 |
| [13:26] | I see you and Teddy have managed | 难得 你和泰迪 |
| [13:27] | to pry yourselves apart for a few minutes. | 终于舍得分开几分钟了 |
| [13:31] | He’s at soccer practice. | 他去练足球了 |
| [13:35] | You two were talking for a long time in his room last night. | 你们两个昨晚在他房间里聊得够晚的 |
| [13:38] | Girl in room, door closed– | 房间里有女生 还关门 |
| [13:39] | I thought that was against your rules. | 这不是违反你自己的规定吗 |
| [13:42] | Yeah, but I just assumed | 没错 但自从我发现 |
| [13:44] | that rules went out the window after I found out | 我们之间的感情是建立在一只被下药的鸟身上后 |
| [13:46] | that our relationship was based on a drugged bird. | 那些规矩还是算了吧 |
| [13:51] | I’m Teddy’s dad. | 我是泰迪的老爸 |
| [13:52] | I should be teaching him this stuff. | 这些东西应该是我来教 |
| [13:54] | This is my only chance. | 这是我唯一的机会 |
| [13:56] | We have two girls and one boy. | 我们有两个女儿一个儿子 |
| [13:57] | You get to do it twice. | 你能教两次 |
| [14:00] | Fine. You can have one of the girls. | 好吧 其中一个女儿归你教 |
| [14:01] | I don’t want the girls! I want Teddy! | 我不想教女生 我就想教泰迪 |
| [14:05] | I had him first. Then you stole him! | 我先教他的 结果被你抢了 |
| [14:08] | I didn’t steal him. | 我没有抢 |
| [14:09] | He chose me, because I have advice that actually works. | 是他选择了我 因为我的建议有效 |
| [14:15] | Let’s hear your wonderful advice. | 听听你有什么好建议 |
| [14:17] | Okay. Well, he said he gets nervous talking to Madison, | 好 他说跟麦迪森讲话紧张 |
| [14:20] | so I told him to send her a text | 我让他把自己对麦迪森的感情 |
| [14:22] | explaining how he feels about her. | 写成信息发给她 |
| [14:24] | Open and honest. | 开诚布公的 |
| [14:26] | That’s what girls want. | 这才是姑娘想要的 |
| [14:28] | Uh-huh. Okay. Uh-huh. | 好吧 |
| [14:34] | Hello. | 你好 |
| [14:35] | Oh, hi. | 你好啊 |
| [14:38] | It’s Madison’s mom. | 是麦迪森的妈妈 |
| [14:39] | She’s probably calling to thank me. | 也许她是打电话感谢我的 |
| [14:42] | We should enjoy this together. What’s up, Kathy? | 我们应该一起享受这个时刻 什么事啊 凯西 |
| [14:44] | Your son is sending my daughter weird text messages. | 你儿子给我女儿发了一堆奇奇怪怪的信息 |
| [14:49] | If it doesn’t stop, | 如果他再发 |
| [14:50] | I’m getting the school involved. | 我就要把这件事举报到校方 |
| [14:53] | Right. Well, bye– Oh. You already hung up. | 好吧 再见 你已经挂断了 |
| [14:57] | Oh, my God. Getting the school involved?! | 我的天 举报给校方 |
| [14:59] | All right. Uh, where’s his phone? | 好吧 他的手机在哪 |
| [15:01] | Uh… backpack. | 书包里 |
| [15:06] | Uh… Oh, boy. Brace yourself. | 天啊 做好心理准备 |
| [15:08] | “I drew your face on an apple, and then I ate it.” | “我把你的脸画在苹果上 然后把苹果吃掉” |
| [15:16] | Did you…? | 你有没有 |
| [15:16] | You can’t say that. | 这种话不能说啊 |
| [15:20] | Listen to this one. | 听这条 |
| [15:21] | “I follow you on Instagram, Twitter, | 我在IG和推特上关注了你 |
| [15:23] | and secretly, on your way home.” | 也在你回家的路上偷偷关注你 |
| [15:35] | Uh… this is bad. | 这太吓人了 |
| [15:36] | Okay. Okay. Okay. | 好吧 |
| [15:39] | Um… uh, all right. | 这样 |
| [15:40] | Katie and Emme get married, and Teddy lives with us | 等以后凯特和艾米嫁人 泰迪就跟着我们住 |
| [15:43] | the rest of his life. | 这辈子就这样了 |
| [15:44] | Yeah. Yeah, that’s not so bad. | 也没有那么糟糕 |
| [15:46] | It’ll be like having a lonely butler. | 就像有了单身老管家 |
| [15:50] | I feel terrible for him. | 我好替他难过啊 |
| [15:53] | We have to do something. | 我们必须得做点什么 |
| [15:54] | There is no coming back from eating her face on an apple. | 做什么都挽回不了把苹果上她的脸吃掉 |
| [16:00] | You know what we need? | 知道我们需要什么吗 |
| [16:00] | – Whiskey. – No, no, no, no. | -威士忌 -不是 |
| [16:04] | We need some Adam Burns magic. Oh. | 我们需要亚当·伯恩斯的魔法 |
| [16:07] | Your fake magic, your trickery. | 你的假魔法 你的骗局 |
| [16:08] | I thought you hated that stuff. | 你不是讨厌那些吗 |
| [16:10] | Yeah, but we have to help Teddy, | 是 但我们得帮泰迪一把 |
| [16:12] | and-and it works, right? It worked on me. | 而且它有效 不是吗 我就吃那套 |
| [16:14] | I mean, you schemed your way into getting a woman | 你把一个你配不上的好女人 |
| [16:16] | you in no way deserved. | 就这么骗到手了 |
| [16:20] | I am good, aren’t I? Mm-hmm. | 我是挺厉害的 是不是 |
| [16:22] | So you’re not mad at me for paying that waitress anymore? | 花钱雇服务员那件事 你不生气了吧 |
| [16:26] | I’m choosing to believe | 我选择相信 |
| [16:28] | that when she said we were the cutest couple | 当她在说”你们真是太般配了 天造地设” |
| [16:30] | and perfect for each other, that there was magic. | 的时候 是真正的魔法 |
| [16:34] | The magic of getting you, | 这个魔法让你 |
| [16:35] | a known cheapskate, to part with ten dollars. | 这个小气鬼 舍得花十美金 |
| [16:39] | Yeah, she wouldn’t make change. | 因为她不找钱 |
| [16:43] | All right, so… | 好吧 那 |
| [16:44] | So what are you thinking? | 你有什么主意吗 |
| [16:46] | Uh, well, we combine our superpowers, right? | 可以把我们的超能力合并在一起 |
| [16:48] | My honesty and your man-made magic. | 我的诚实和你的人造魔法 |
| [16:51] | Right? If we work together, we can save the day. | 如果我们合作 就能挽救这件事 |
| [16:55] | I like it. | 我喜欢 |
| [16:58] | I think this is how the Avengers started. | 《复仇者联盟》就是这么来的吧 |
| [17:00] | Yes. | 对 |
| [17:02] | Look, we came here | 我们之所以会来 |
| [17:03] | because we want to be completely honest. | 是想诚心实意跟你们解释一下 |
| [17:05] | Madison, you and Teddy were doing great, | 麦迪森 你和泰迪本来相处得很好 |
| [17:07] | but then we got involved and ruined everything. | 结果我们一搅合 一切就都毁了 |
| [17:09] | Yeah, we were the problem, and we’re, and we’re so sorry. | 我们才是问题所在 真是非常抱歉 |
| [17:13] | Do you like Teddy? | 你喜欢泰迪吧 |
| [17:14] | I did until people told me he let the air out of my bike tire. | 以前喜欢 直到有人告诉我看到泰迪把我车胎放气了 |
| [17:17] | That was me. I told him to do that. | 因为我 是我让他那么做的 |
| [17:21] | And I’m the one who told him | 是我让他给你发 |
| [17:22] | to send you super-honest text messages about his feelings. | 那些过于诚实的信息 |
| [17:26] | You guys are the worst. | 你们真是太糟糕了 |
| [17:29] | Yes. Thank you, Kathy. | 没错 谢谢你 凯西 |
| [17:30] | That’s what we’re saying. We’re the worst. | 我们就是这个意思 是我们太糟糕了 |
| [17:33] | But Teddy’s not. | 不是泰迪 |
| [17:35] | Oh, my God. | 天啊 |
| [17:36] | I can’t believe you two actually came here. | 不敢相信你们真的来了 |
| [17:38] | Leave these poor people alone. | 别再打扰这些可怜人了 |
| [17:39] | We’re just trying to fix what we screwed up. | 我们只是想弥补一下过错 |
| [17:42] | I’ll handle this. | 交给我了 |
| [17:44] | Hey, Madison, you know me, right? | 麦迪森 你认识我吧 |
| [17:46] | Everyone at school knows you. | 学校里没有不认识你的 |
| [17:47] | You’re a legend. I heard you had a party… | 你就是传说 我听说你办了一个派对 |
| [17:49] | Uh, we don’t need to talk about that. | 我们不需要在这聊这个 |
| [17:52] | Uh, listen. | 听着 |
| [17:53] | I saw you and Teddy at our house, | 我在家看过你和泰迪在一起 |
| [17:55] | and I was like– and I wrote this down so I’d remember it– | 那真是 我怕忘已经写下来了 |
| [18:00] | “Oh, my God. | 我的天啊 |
| [18:01] | “You two are the cutest couple. | 你们真是太般配了 |
| [18:03] | You’re perfect for each other.” | 天造地设 |
| [18:05] | – Really? – Totally. | -真的吗 -绝对的 |
| [18:06] | And if you like Teddy, | 你要是喜欢泰迪 |
| [18:08] | I think you should go to the skate party with him. | 应该跟他一起去杰里米的轮滑派对 |
| [18:10] | It’ll be fun. | 会很好玩的 |
| [18:12] | All right, I want to go with him. | 好的 我愿意跟他一起去 |
| [18:14] | Mom? | 妈妈 |
| [18:16] | Fine, but I’m driving both ways. | 好吧 但接送都由我负责 |
| [18:19] | Oh. Yeah. Great. Great. | 太好了 |
| [18:21] | And-and we promise that we will never get involved | 我们保证 再也不会掺和 |
| [18:24] | in Teddy’s personal life again. | 泰迪的私生活了 |
| [18:26] | Oh, by the way, you have a beautiful… | 对了 你家真漂亮 尤其 |
| [18:28] | Oh. And you already closed the door. | 已经关门了啊 |
| [18:32] | Way to go, Avengers. | 干得漂亮 复仇者们 |
| [18:35] | Instead of saving the world, we tricked a teenage girl, | 虽然没有拯救地球 但我们骗了个姑娘 |
| [18:37] | but it still feels good. Mm-hmm. | 感觉还是棒棒哒 |
| [18:42] | What’s that? | 那是什么 |
| [18:43] | That’s the 20 bucks we agreed on. | 我们说好的20美金 |
| [18:44] | Yeah, 20 bucks to do it, | 对 做这件事是20美金 |
| [18:46] | but did we settle on a price for me not telling Teddy about it? | 但对泰迪保密这件事的价格还没谈拢 |
| [18:56] | That kid is going places. | 这孩子将来能成大事 |
| [19:09] | Adam, what’s happening? | 亚当 怎么了 |
| [19:16] | Wow. Looks like the power went out. | 好像停电了 |
| [19:21] | Right when the kids are at my folks’ | 孩子们刚好去我爸妈家了 |
| [19:23] | and I have this candle in one hand and… | 而我正好一手蜡烛 |
| [19:27] | a bottle of wine in the other! | 一手红酒 |
| [19:30] | That’s lucky. | 真走运 |
| [19:36] | You cut the power, didn’t you? | 是你把电掐了 对不对 |
| [19:39] | Do you really want to know, | 你是想知道真相 |
| [19:40] | or do you want to just enjoy the magic? | 还是想享受这份魔法 |
| [19:45] | I’ll take the magic. Yeah. | 我选魔法 |
| [19:48] | Go ahead. Woo me. | 来吧 撩我 |
| [19:52] | I thought I just did. | 我不是撩过了吗 |
| [19:57] | I can go outside and try to catch a bird, | 我倒是可以出去抓鸟 |
| [19:59] | but I got to tell you, honey, | 可我跟你说 亲爱的 |
| [20:00] | I’m not as quick as I used to be. | 我的身手不如以前那么敏捷了 |