| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | Let the life force flow through your… | 让生命能量流动全身 |
| [00:04] | What you doing? | 你干嘛呢 |
| [00:08] | I told you he’d be doing something weird. | 我就说他在做些奇怪的事 |
| [00:09] | Yeah. Where’s Donny? | 对 唐尼呢 |
| [00:12] | Adam’s got big news. | 亚当有大事要宣布 |
| [00:13] | Oh, he left for couples therapy again. | 他又去参加夫妻情感咨询了 |
| [00:15] | Thanks for helping me up, by the way. | 还有 谢谢你们扶我起来 |
| [00:18] | So, what’s the big news? | 有什么大事要宣布 |
| [00:19] | Lowell, I bought a boat. | 洛厄尔 我买了艘船 |
| [00:21] | We were leaving the lumber yard, and some guy was selling | 我们本来要去木材厂 结果有几个人在停车场 |
| [00:24] | his bass boat real cheap in the parking lot, | 低价出售他们的钓船 |
| [00:26] | so I went for it. | 所以我就买了 |
| [00:28] | There she is. | 就是这艘 |
| [00:29] | That’s my boat. | 这是我的船 |
| [00:32] | How’d you get Andi to finally let you buy one? | 你怎么说服安迪同意你买船的 |
| [00:35] | Oh, I used a new strategy. | 我用了一个新招 |
| [00:36] | I didn’t tell her. | 我没告诉她 |
| [00:38] | And you’re still married. | 你这种人居然有老婆 |
| [00:39] | It’s a mystery. | 真是奇了怪了 |
| [00:41] | This is the only way it can work. | 这是唯一可行的方式 |
| [00:43] | All right, I’ve brought up buying a boat in the past, | 知道吗 我以前跟安迪说过想买船 |
| [00:44] | and Andi always shot me down. | 一下就被她否决了 |
| [00:47] | Wives, our beloved life partners… | 妻子 我们深爱的另一半 |
| [00:49] | who take a flame thrower to our dreams. | 用火焰喷射器将我们的梦想烧焦 |
| [00:53] | My problem was it was always a hypothetical boat, | 我之前的问题在于它一直是艘假设中的船 |
| [00:55] | so I could never push it across the finish line. | 我是没办法把它推过终点线的 |
| [00:57] | Now that I’ve bought a boat, | 现在我已经买了船 |
| [00:59] | I’m working from a place of fear. | 我就能在恐惧中想办法了 |
| [01:01] | You see, fear sharpens you. | 恐惧令我机智 |
| [01:04] | Like, you can only run so fast. | 比如你只能跑这么快 |
| [01:06] | But when a lion’s chasing you, | 但如果你屁股后头有狮子追你呢 |
| [01:08] | you can run a little faster. | 你就能跑得更快一点 |
| [01:11] | Not faster than a lion. | 再快也快不过狮子 |
| [01:16] | The boat’s getting delivered Tuesday. | 船在周二才会运到 |
| [01:17] | So I have a week to figure out how to get a yes from Andi. | 我还有一周时间争取安迪的同意 |
| [01:20] | You need to make Andi think it’s her idea. | 你要让安迪认为买船是她的主意 |
| [01:23] | Wives always love their own ideas. | 妻子喜欢自己的主意 |
| [01:25] | That’s true, even if they’re not good ones. | 还真是的 馊主意也喜欢 |
| [01:27] | Like throw pillows. | 比如装饰抱枕 |
| [01:29] | Who needs a hundred pillows nobody sleeps on? | 又没人用它睡觉 买那么多枕头干嘛 |
| [01:31] | Our houses are full of damn pillows. | 我们家到处都是枕头 |
| [01:35] | All right, so all I have to do | 好的 所以我只需要 |
| [01:37] | is get Andi to suggest a boat. | 让安迪提出买艘船 |
| [01:39] | Then I just agree. | 我顺势同意 |
| [01:41] | By next week we’ll be seasick, sunburned | 这样下周我们就可以晕船 晒伤 |
| [01:43] | and peeing in a lake, like God intended. | 在湖面尿尿 遵从上帝的旨意 |
| [01:46] | It’ll be like the old days | 就像曾经我租船 |
| [01:47] | when I used to rent a boat to take you fishing. | 带你出去钓鱼的日子一样爽 |
| [01:49] | Yeah, but better, because we’ll own it. | 对 但更妙的是 船是我们的 |
| [01:51] | Yeah. A boat is like a woman. | 没错 一艘船就像一个女人 |
| [01:54] | It doesn’t feel right to pay for it by the hour. | 按小时收费的感觉总是怪怪的 |
| [02:01] | All right, boy. | 听着 儿子 |
| [02:03] | Look like a guy who really needs a boat. | 表现出一副非常需要船的样子 |
| [02:06] | I know what I’m doing. | 我心里有数 |
| [02:07] | I’m gonna walk her right into it. | 会把她引进圈套的 |
| [02:11] | Boy… what a day, oh. | 哎呀 这一天啊 |
| [02:15] | Aw, honey, what’s wrong? | 亲爱的 怎么了 |
| [02:16] | Are you okay? | 你没事吧 |
| [02:17] | You know what I am? | 你知道我怎么了 |
| [02:18] | Stressed! | 压力大啊 |
| [02:20] | That’s what I am. | 这是我怎么了 |
| [02:23] | Well, I don’t like that. | 这样可不好 |
| [02:24] | Is there anything I can do? | 我能为你做点什么呢 |
| [02:26] | Well… maybe… | 也许 |
| [02:29] | maybe it would help me to relax | 也许你可以帮我放松放松 |
| [02:30] | if I did something, uh, water-related. | 我很喜欢跟水有关的东西 |
| [02:35] | You know, there are certain things a wife can do | 妻子有个特殊功用 |
| [02:37] | to relieve her husband’s stress. | 能帮男人放松压力 |
| [02:41] | Yeah, I know the things, Bev, thanks. | 我知道那个功能 谢了贝芙 |
| [02:47] | Uh, hey, if you like the water, | 如果你喜欢水 |
| [02:48] | maybe you should take a walk around the lake. | 可以去湖边散散步 |
| [02:50] | That’s not one of the things. | 不是这个功能 |
| [02:52] | Although, you can do mine in a lake. | 不过你可以在水里做我说的功能 |
| [02:55] | That’s close. | 很接近了 |
| [02:55] | Yeah, I like where you’re headed with this lake thing. | 我喜欢你这个跟湖有关的思路 |
| [02:58] | You know who’s relaxed? | 知道谁最放松吗 |
| [03:00] | Ducks. | 鸭子们 |
| [03:04] | What? | 什么 |
| [03:05] | Oh, that’s right, ducks. | 没错 鸭子们 |
| [03:08] | You know, I bet it’s because they’re on the lake. | 绝对跟它们在湖里有关 |
| [03:11] | That’s the key. | 这才是关键 |
| [03:13] | So how do you get a duck’s life? | 那你要怎么才能过上鸭子般的生活呢 |
| [03:16] | But I like being a person. | 可我还是个人类 |
| [03:19] | How much have you guys had to drink? | 你们这是喝了多少 |
| [03:25] | Sorry we’re late. | 抱歉 我们迟到了 |
| [03:26] | We were making out in the car like teenagers. | 刚刚像小年轻一样在车里亲热了一番 |
| [03:28] | That’s right, we would’ve gone all the way, | 是 本来可以再进一步的 |
| [03:29] | but there’s a lot of looky-loos out there | 可车外面总有在遛狗 |
| [03:31] | walking their dogs. Mm-hmm. | 走来走去的围观群众 |
| [03:34] | See how she used her body to relax him? | 看到她是怎么用身体帮老公舒缓压力的吗 |
| [03:36] | That’s what I was talking about. | 这才是我说的功能 |
| [03:38] | Oh, my God! | 老天爷啊 |
| [03:40] | We were just looking for ways to help me deal with stress. | 我们在找方法帮我释放压力 |
| [03:43] | You know, fishing around. | 你懂吧 钓钓灵感 |
| [03:44] | It’s all hands on deck over here. | 大家都在同一条船上想办法 |
| [03:48] | Maybe you should try couples therapy, | 要不你们也试试夫妻情感咨询 |
| [03:50] | It’s great. | 效果超好 |
| [03:51] | No, that’s not what I’m talking about. | 不 我说的不是这个 |
| [03:52] | Andi, that’s not what I’m talking about. | 安迪 我说的不是这个 |
| [03:55] | Well, it really changed Don. | 让老唐改变特别大 |
| [03:57] | Yeah, it turned him into a Bee Gee. | 是 都变成比吉斯乐队成员了 |
| [04:00] | I thought Marcy | 这种真丝衬衫 |
| [04:00] | wouldn’t let you wear that silk shirt. | 我以为玛茜不会允许你穿的 |
| [04:02] | This is the real me. | 这才是真正的我 |
| [04:03] | Dr. Chuck says that Marcy was wrong | 查克医生说玛茜控制我的穿着 |
| [04:05] | to control my fashion choices. | 是不对的 |
| [04:07] | He’s our therapist, and he made me realize | 他是我们的咨询师 他让我意识到 |
| [04:09] | that when Don wears this shirt it’s not supportive | 当老唐穿这种衬衫 我说他像 |
| [04:11] | for me to say that he looks like an unemployed pimp. | 一个拉皮条的盲流 会打击到他 |
| [04:15] | Well, Marcy, I think it is so healthy | 玛茜 我觉得这样特别好 |
| [04:17] | that you’re working on your relationship with your husband… | 你和你这个滑冰场DJ丈夫齐心协力 |
| [04:20] | the roller rink DJ. | 提升夫妻感情 |
| [04:23] | Here’s Dr. Chuck’s card. | 这是查克医生的名片 |
| [04:25] | You guys should give it a whirl. | 你们俩应该试试 |
| [04:27] | Maybe she’s right. | 她说得也许没错 |
| [04:29] | I mean, you might be stressed out | 你压力这么大 也许是因为 |
| [04:30] | because there’s something bottled up inside you. | 你的内心封住了一些事 |
| [04:32] | Like a ship in a bottle! | 就像瓶中船一样 |
| [04:37] | No. No, no, no, no. | 别别别 |
| [04:39] | Therapy is not for guys like me. | 心理咨询不适合我这种人 |
| [04:41] | All right, it’s just a bunch of mumbo-jumbo | 我觉得都是毫无意义的 |
| [04:43] | that doesn’t do anything. | 胡言乱语 |
| [04:45] | Tony Soprano did therapy. | 黑帮教父托尼·索波诺就做心理咨询 |
| [04:47] | And yet the murdering continued. | 也没拦得住他杀人 |
| [04:50] | You know what might help me relax? | 有件事也许可以帮我放松 |
| [04:52] | Singing. Yeah. | 唱歌 |
| [04:54] | ♪ Row, row, row your… ♪ | 让我们荡起双桨 |
| [04:57] | Take it home, Andi. | 推开波浪 安迪 |
| [05:09] | Well, that went nowhere. | 毫无进展 |
| [05:10] | Andi wasn’t even close to suggesting a boat. | 安迪的想法跟船都不沾边 |
| [05:13] | She just thinks I got drunk and want to be a duck. | 她只觉得我醉了 相当鸭子 |
| [05:16] | Marcy was right. | 玛茜说得对 |
| [05:17] | Take her to couples therapy. | 带她去做夫妻情感咨询 |
| [05:18] | No way. | 不可能 |
| [05:20] | Therapists always agree with the wife. | 心理咨询师总站在老婆那边 |
| [05:22] | The first class you take in shrink school is | 心理医生的第一课 |
| [05:24] | “Husbands: How to Put Their Nuts in a Box.” | “丈夫 如何将自己的男子气概锁起来” |
| [05:27] | Dr. Chuck always sides with me. | 查克医生总站在我这边 |
| [05:29] | Until he doesn’t, and then it’s boxed nuts. | 等他换了阵地 你就不是男人了 |
| [05:33] | You don’t get it. | 你们不知道 |
| [05:34] | I met Chuck at the gym. | 我是在健身房认识查克的 |
| [05:35] | He’s going through a bad divorce, | 当时他刚刚离婚 闹得很难看 |
| [05:36] | so he’s pretty mad at wives. | 非常仇视妻子 |
| [05:38] | When I heard he did couples therapy, | 当我听说他也做夫妻情感咨询 |
| [05:40] | I locked that down. | 马上就定下来了 |
| [05:42] | The best part is Don’s excited to go to therapy. | 最好的是老唐很愿意去做咨询 |
| [05:46] | I could never get Adam to go. | 我是劝不动亚当 |
| [05:48] | Well, it’s hard for me to open up, too, | 我也很难敞开心扉 |
| [05:49] | but part of the therapy process is acknowledging | 但心理咨询的过程之一就是 |
| [05:52] | that I’m a flawed human being, and that’s okay. | 认知到自己是个有缺陷的人 并且接受自己 |
| [05:55] | I could’ve told you that for free. | 这些话我不收钱也可以跟你说 |
| [05:59] | Anyway. | 总之 |
| [06:01] | The thing I like most about therapy | 心理咨询中我最喜欢的是 |
| [06:03] | is the honesty. | 诚实 |
| [06:04] | It’s totally rigged. | 完全是个阴谋 |
| [06:08] | Dr. Chuck could be your answer, Adam. | 查克医生也许就是你的办法 亚当 |
| [06:10] | I say get on the Chuckwagon. | 我建议你找查克帮忙 |
| [06:13] | I’m not paying some quack 150 bucks | 我自己能做到的事 |
| [06:15] | to do what I can do myself. | 才不会给夸夸其谈的人150元 |
| [06:17] | I still have a week– I’ll just use my brains | 我还有一周时间 我可以用我的大脑 |
| [06:19] | and charisma to get Andi on board. | 我的魅力 去征服安迪 |
| [06:23] | So we’re not getting a boat. | 船是保不住了 |
| [06:26] | Don’t underestimate me. | 别小瞧了我 |
| [06:27] | Superman can fly. | 超人可以飞 |
| [06:29] | Batman has the Batmobile. | 蝙蝠侠有蝙蝠车 |
| [06:31] | I can wear a woman down. | 我可以软磨硬泡女人 |
| [06:34] | There she is. | 你在这儿呢 |
| [06:36] | I saved the last brownie for my beautiful bride. | 我把最后一块布朗尼蛋糕留给了我美丽的新娘 |
| [06:41] | What do you want, sex? | 你想要什么 上床 |
| [06:43] | No. Well… | 不是 也行 |
| [06:45] | No, no. I’m just happy. | 不是不是 我只是很开心 |
| [06:47] | This is my idea of a perfect life. | 这就是我心中的完美生活 |
| [06:52] | The only thing that would make it more perfect | 不过可以更加完美 |
| [06:53] | would be if this couch was– | 要是这个沙发能变成 |
| [06:55] | I don’t know… A boat. | 也许是 一艘船 |
| [06:58] | That’s what this is about? | 原来是为了这个 |
| [07:00] | Well, yeah. Aw, man, can’t we just have sex? | 天啊 我们不能只上个床吗 |
| [07:03] | On a boat? Sure. | 在船上吗 当然可以 |
| [07:05] | Yeah, we could just lay there | 我们只需要躺在那里 |
| [07:06] | and let the water do the work. | 其他交给波浪 |
| [07:08] | Okay, we are not getting a boat. | 行了 我们不会买船的 |
| [07:11] | All right, if you want something expensive that leaks, | 知道吗 你要是想要一个又费钱又漏水的东西 |
| [07:13] | let’s just get another kid. | 我们可以再生个孩子 |
| [07:16] | I know you’re against it, | 我知道你反对 |
| [07:17] | but when I look out in the driveway and don’t see a boat there, | 可我看向车道 而那里没有船的时候 |
| [07:20] | it makes me wonder why I’m even on this crazy blue ball! | 会让我质疑自己为什么要生活在地球上 |
| [07:25] | Too much? | 夸张了吧 |
| [07:27] | Come on, let’s get a boat! | 拜托 我们买艘船吧 |
| [07:29] | I’ll even name it after you. | 我甚至可以用你的名字命名 |
| [07:30] | Probably. | 也许 |
| [07:33] | Sorry, honey. | 抱歉 亲爱的 |
| [07:36] | Okay, I didn’t want to have to do this, but… | 好吧 我本来不想用这招的 但是 |
| [07:39] | kids, could you come in here, please? | 孩子们 出来一下 谢谢 |
| [07:47] | Would you tell Mommy why you’re so sad all the time? | 你们告诉妈妈 为什么一直如此难过 |
| [07:50] | Because we don’t have a boat. | 因为我们没有船 |
| [07:53] | Healthy children need fresh air. | 健康的小孩需要呼吸新鲜空气 |
| [07:55] | I think a boat will keep me away from all those boys at school. | 在船上就可以离学校里的男生们远远的 |
| [07:58] | They only want one thing. | 他们脑子里只有一件事 |
| [08:01] | Sorry, honey, you’re outnumbered. | 抱歉 亲爱的 少数服从多数 |
| [08:03] | I’m off to go shopping for the SS Maybe Andi. | 我要去买SS了 也许叫安迪 |
| [08:06] | We’re not getting a boat. | 我们不会买船的 |
| [08:10] | Can we still go out for ice cream even though she said no? | 她拒绝了 那我们还可以去买船吗 |
| [08:12] | You didn’t even sell it. | 你们的演技都不对 |
| [08:14] | You were Peter Pan in the school play. | 学校的话剧里你演彼得潘 |
| [08:15] | Where was that magic? | 现在你的魔法呢 |
| [08:20] | You know, the oceans are rising. | 现在海平面正在上升 |
| [08:22] | I’m just wondering | 我都不知道 |
| [08:23] | – how we’re gonna survive without a– – No. | -到时候没船该怎么活 -不买 |
| [08:32] | Dr. Chuck, huh? | 查克医生是吧 |
| [08:34] | Well, you ain’t cheating, you ain’t trying. | 没做过弊 就不算尽过力 |
| [08:38] | Honey, I know I’m driving you crazy with this boat talk, | 亲爱的 我说的那些买船的话让你不开心了 |
| [08:41] | but I can’t help myself. | 可我也控制不住自己 |
| [08:43] | Maybe you’re right. | 也许你说得对 |
| [08:44] | We need to see Dr. Chuck. | 我们得去看看查克医生 |
| [08:48] | You want to see a therapist? | 你想去看心理医生了 |
| [08:49] | Well, why not? | 为什么不呢 |
| [08:51] | He’s an impartial third party. | 他是公平的第三方 |
| [08:53] | And if he agrees with you, I will drop the boat idea forever. | 如果他都站在你那边 我就再也不提买船的事了 |
| [08:58] | Wow! Um, o-okay. | 行吧 |
| [09:00] | I’ll make an appointment next week. | 我预约一下 下周去 |
| [09:01] | Sooner’s better– before Tuesday, for example. | 越快越好 周二之前 比如说 |
| [09:04] | Yeah, I got to say, Adam, I’m impressed. | 好 我得说 亚当 我刮目相看了 |
| [09:07] | Oh. I mean, ten years ago, | 十年前的你 |
| [09:08] | you would’ve just bought a boat and then lied about it. | 只会先买艘船 然后跟我撒谎 |
| [09:15] | I can’t believe Adam agreed to go to therapy. | 不敢相信亚当居然同意去做咨询 |
| [09:17] | Yeah, he has never been this open-minded. | 是啊 他还从来没这么开明过 |
| [09:20] | Yeah, I might ride this wave | 我也可以趁这个机会 |
| [09:21] | and see if I can get him to try quinoa. | 让他试试吃藜麦 |
| [09:23] | I’m making Joe go, too. | 我也逼乔去了 |
| [09:26] | He has issues. | 他有问题 |
| [09:28] | The man goes out to get the paper in his underwear. | 总是穿着内裤去外面取报纸 |
| [09:31] | The neighbors had a whole meeting about it. | 邻居们因为这件事还开了个会 |
| [09:35] | Bev, are-are you meeting Joe’s needs? | 贝芙 你有满足乔的需求吗 |
| [09:37] | ‘Cause there’s certain things a wife can do. | 妻子是有某种功能的 |
| [09:41] | Why do you think he’s in his underwear? | 你觉得他为什么只穿内裤呢 |
| [09:43] | All right, let’s get going, Bev. | 好了 我们走吧 贝芙 |
| [09:45] | I feel like fish sticks for dinner. | 我晚餐想吃炸鱼条 |
| [09:48] | – You want fish sticks, Joe? – Yeah. | -你想要炸鱼条 乔 -对 |
| [09:50] | I want a husband who wears pants. | 我想要个穿裤子的丈夫 |
| [09:54] | Is this about me getting the paper again? | 还是因为取报纸的事吗 |
| [09:56] | I’m afraid so. | 好像是 |
| [09:57] | Well, the neighborhood ladies like it. | 女邻居们可喜欢了 |
| [09:59] | They had a whole meeting about it. | 她们因为这件事还开了个会 |
| [10:03] | Okay, well, uh, I better get going, too. | 好了 我也得走了 |
| [10:06] | I want to pick the perfect outfit for therapy. | 我要挑一身最适合去做心理咨询的衣服 |
| [10:09] | Something that says that I’m willing to work on my faults, | 显露出我愿意改进错误 |
| [10:12] | but that I don’t have any. | 可我是完美无瑕的风格 |
| [10:14] | Well, I hope you like it more than I do. | 希望你比我更喜欢 |
| [10:16] | I think I’m gonna stop going. | 我考虑不再去了 |
| [10:17] | Wha– What happened? | 怎么了这是 |
| [10:20] | Whenever I bring up something crazy that Don did, | 每次我提到老唐做过的荒唐事 |
| [10:22] | Dr. Chuck says it’s my fault. | 查克医生都说是我的错 |
| [10:24] | Really? Mm-hmm. | 真的吗 |
| [10:26] | Did you tell him about the time | 你有没有跟他说过那次 |
| [10:27] | that Don said he was going to the car wash | 老唐说要去洗车 |
| [10:29] | but he really went to Vegas for the weekend? | 结果跑到拉斯维加斯过周末了 |
| [10:31] | My fault because I was smothering him. | 我的错 因为我让他感到窒息 |
| [10:34] | What? That doesn’t make any sense. | 什么 这完全不合常理啊 |
| [10:36] | Where did you find this doctor? | 你在哪找的这个医生 |
| [10:37] | Oh, I didn’t, Don did. | 不是我找的 老唐找的 |
| [10:39] | Don found him? | 老唐找的 |
| [10:41] | Yeah, I was proud of him. | 对 我还很为他骄傲 |
| [10:42] | He doesn’t usually take the initiative. | 一般他没有这么积极的时候 |
| [10:45] | Oh, my God. Marcy, wake up. | 天啊 玛茜 醒醒吧 |
| [10:48] | – Chuck– Chuck is a ringer. – What? | -查克 查克是个骗子 -什么 |
| [10:50] | Look, Don obviously got some weirdo doctor | 听着 明显是老唐找了个怪医生 |
| [10:53] | to tell you that you were wrong about everything. | 把一切问题都怪在你的头上 |
| [10:55] | I mean, is there any other explanation | 不然要怎么解释那件 |
| [10:58] | for that Motown backup singer shirt? | 汽车城伴唱风格的衬衫 |
| [11:01] | He is so gonna pay. | 我绝对要付出代价 |
| [11:02] | He wore that thing to church. | 他穿着那件衣服去了教堂 |
| [11:05] | In front of God. | 当着上帝的面 |
| [11:08] | A-And now Adam is working the same scam | 现在亚当要故技重施 |
| [11:10] | to get a boat. | 骗我买船 |
| [11:12] | Why am I surprised? | 我怎么一点都不意外 |
| [11:14] | He was raised by a man | 他们俩的爸爸 |
| [11:15] | who wanders the streets in his underpants. | 是个穿着内裤上街的男人 |
| [11:22] | This is exciting. | 好兴奋啊 |
| [11:24] | I can’t wait to get in there and hash this all out, | 等不及赶快进去说个明白 |
| [11:27] | see what Dr. Chuck thinks about the boat. | 听听查克医生会怎说买船的事 |
| [11:32] | Hey. You seem confident. | 感觉你自信满满的 |
| [11:33] | I believe in science, Andi. | 我相信科学 安迪 |
| [11:36] | Adam, Andi, I’m Dr. Felicia. | 亚当 安迪 我是菲利希亚医生 |
| [11:39] | Come on back to my office. | 跟我来办公室 |
| [11:44] | Where’s Chuck? | 查克哪去了 |
| [11:46] | Oh, Chuck wasn’t available, so I made an appointment | 查克没有空 我预约了他的同事 |
| [11:48] | with his colleague Dr. Felicia. | 菲利希亚医生 |
| [11:55] | – What’s wrong? – I don’t want to. | -怎么了 -我不想去 |
| [12:00] | So, I hear we’re going to be talking about a boat today. | 我听说今天要讨论的是一艘船 |
| [12:03] | I don’t want to. | 我不想谈 |
| [12:17] | Chuck’s not here. | 查克不在 |
| [12:18] | Run! | 快跑 |
| [12:24] | I still don’t understand what happened. | 我还是不理解发生了什么 |
| [12:26] | We agreed on Dr. Chuck. | 我们同意去看查克医生 |
| [12:29] | No, we agreed on therapy. | 不是 我们同意了去做咨询 |
| [12:31] | Which we got, and I for one, am a very satisfied customer. | 我们去做了 而我个人为此感到非常满意 |
| [12:35] | I already gave her five stars on Yelp. | 我已经在点评上给她评了五颗星 |
| [12:37] | She is a boat hater. | 她讨厌船 |
| [12:39] | If we’d gone with Chuck, I’d be waterskiing right now. | 如果我们找的是查克医生 现在已经在滑水了 |
| [12:42] | Of course you would. | 当然是了 |
| [12:43] | Because he was a ringer, a phony, a fraud. | 因为他是个骗子 假货 赝品 |
| [12:47] | You don’t know that. | 你又不知道 |
| [12:49] | Do you? | 对吧 |
| [12:51] | How do you know that? | 你怎么知道的 |
| [12:53] | You tried to rig therapy to get a boat. | 你想用心理咨询套路我买船 |
| [12:56] | I tried a whole bunch of things to get a boat. | 我试过很多套路去买船 |
| [12:58] | And if you had fallen for one of those, | 要是在你这里套路成功过一次 |
| [13:00] | we wouldn’t even be here. | 我们就不会谈这件事了 |
| [13:02] | Well, I know one thing for sure. | 有件事我十分确定 |
| [13:04] | There will never, ever be a boat in that driveway. | 永远都不会有船停在我们家的车道上 |
| [13:15] | – It’s not Tuesday. – What? | -还没到星期二呢 -什么 |
| [13:17] | I’m-I’m just saying days of the week it’s not. | 我说这周有好几天呢 |
| [13:20] | You know what? | 这样吧 |
| [13:21] | Honey, I have put you through so much. | 亲爱的 我惹你生了好多气 |
| [13:24] | Let me take you out to dinner. | 让我带你出去吃个晚餐 |
| [13:25] | Huh? If we sprint, we can still make happy hour. | 快点跑 还能赶上限时优惠 |
| [13:29] | Why are we going this way? | 为什么走这边 |
| [13:30] | Well, we’re not going out the back door, like savages. | 我们不走后门 又不是野人 |
| [13:33] | I want the whole world to see my beautiful wife. | 我要让全世界都看到我美丽的妻子 |
| [13:39] | Evening, Mr. Burns. I’m here to drop off your boat. | 晚上好 伯恩斯先生 我把您的船送来了 |
| [13:43] | On second thought, I’d rather eat in. | 我又想了一下 还是在家吃吧 |
| [13:49] | It’s not your fault, sir. I’m sorry for all the cursing. | 不关你的事 先生 抱歉让你听到了那么多脏话 |
| [13:53] | She didn’t know about the boat. | 她不知道我买船了 |
| [13:56] | Yeah, you’re the third drop-off this week | 你是我遇到的本周第三个 |
| [13:58] | where the wife didn’t know. | 没告诉老婆就买船的人了 |
| [14:00] | What did those guys do? | 他们是怎么做的 |
| [14:02] | I just deliver the boats, man. | 我只是个送船的 兄弟 |
| [14:08] | Ahoy, Captain. | 好呀 船长 |
| [14:10] | We brought you champagne to christen ye new vessel. | 我们给你买了香槟 为船洗礼 |
| [14:13] | Uh, now’s not a good time. | 时机不对 |
| [14:15] | I got the boat delivered early | 我让他们早点把船送来 |
| [14:16] | so we could take it out this weekend. | 我们这周末就可以出海了 |
| [14:18] | What are you guys fighting about? | 你俩吵什么呢 |
| [14:21] | Adam bought a boat after I said no. | 我说不许买船 亚当还是买了 |
| [14:23] | Wrong. | 错了 |
| [14:25] | I bought the boat before you said no. | 我先买的 然后你才说不行 |
| [14:27] | I spent all this time trying to get you to say yes. | 这些天我一直在努力让你说可以 |
| [14:30] | You don’t know everything. | 也有你不知道的事 |
| [14:33] | Okay, w-well, w-wait a minute. | 好 等一下 |
| [14:34] | S-So a-all that stuff, | 所以这一切 |
| [14:36] | t-the therapy, t-the brownie, the kids, | 情感咨询 布朗尼 孩子们 |
| [14:39] | was all because you already bought a boat? | 都是因为你已经买了船 |
| [14:42] | I should’ve known. You never save me a brownie. | 我早该猜到的 你从来不给我留布朗尼 |
| [14:48] | Okay, yes, I did everything wrong. | 好吧 没错 我都做错了 |
| [14:50] | But you know, it just didn’t seem fair. | 可是 这样很不公平 |
| [14:53] | Can we have a boat? I say yes, you say no, so it’s a no. | 我们能买船吗 我同意 你否决 就不能买了 |
| [14:56] | Why is the wife’s no | 为什么妻子的否决 |
| [14:57] | more powerful than the husband’s yes? | 比丈夫的同意更有决定权 |
| [14:59] | Because without our no, it’s chaos. | 因为没有我们否决 就天下大乱了 |
| [15:02] | A man’s life expectancy would be 30 | 男人的平均寿命将变成30岁 |
| [15:04] | because you’d all drown in Jacuzzis filled with beer. | 因为你们全淹死在灌满啤酒的按摩浴缸里了 |
| [15:08] | Which reminds me, you also said no to a Jacuzzi. | 提醒我了 你还否局了按摩浴缸 |
| [15:12] | Marriage is supposed to be 50-50, right? | 婚姻不是应该各占50吗 |
| [15:15] | No, no, no, no. | 不是 不是 |
| [15:16] | It’s 51-49. | 是51比49 |
| [15:19] | Yeah, the house has the edge, just like blackjack. | 和二十一点一样 我有庄家优势 |
| [15:22] | How are you the house? I built the house. | 你为什么是 房子是我打的桩 |
| [15:25] | All you did was fill it with these pillows. | 你只是用枕头把房子塞满了 |
| [15:29] | Are you saying that my only contribution | 你是说 我对这个家做的唯一贡献 |
| [15:31] | to this house is pillows? | 只有枕头吗 |
| [15:37] | I think we’ve gotten off track. | 我们好像说跑题了 |
| [15:39] | You’re only mad about the boat. Remember that. | 你只是为了船跟我生气 记住了 |
| [15:42] | Still in the driveway. Can you believe I did that? | 船还在车道上 你敢相信我居然做了这种事吗 |
| [15:47] | He bought a boat without telling me. | 他没告诉我就买船了 |
| [15:49] | And then he lied about it. | 然后还撒了谎 |
| [15:51] | Yeah. He did that. While we were married. | 对 都是他做的 我们还结着婚呢 |
| [15:53] | Get him, Felicia. | 训他 菲利希亚 |
| [15:56] | Well, you’re clearly very passionate about boats. | 显然你对船有十分的热情 |
| [15:59] | In our last session, you said you had to have one | 在上一次咨询中 你说你必须拥有一艘船 |
| [16:00] | because boats are “Bitchin’.” | 因为船 棒呆了 |
| [16:03] | I stand by that. | 我依然坚持 |
| [16:04] | He stands by it, Felicia. | 他还坚持 菲利希亚 |
| [16:07] | Okay, look, I know where this is going. | 行了 我知道结局如何 |
| [16:09] | And if it’ll save time, I will put my own nuts in that box. | 我来省点时间 自己把男子气概锁进那个小盒 |
| [16:14] | That’s where I keep my father’s ashes. | 那里面是我父亲的骨灰 |
| [16:18] | Sorry for your loss. | 节哀顺变 |
| [16:22] | You know, in many relationships, there’s a lot of grey areas. | 在很多人际关系中 是有很多灰色地带的 |
| [16:25] | But in this situation, we have the benefit of clarity. | 但你们的情况中 明确是有好处的 |
| [16:28] | Clinically speaking, Adam, you’re super wrong. | 从医学角度上说 亚当 你大错特错 |
| [16:32] | That is the best 150 bucks I ever ever spent. | 这150元花得太值了 |
| [16:36] | Thanks, Felicia. You’ve been very helpful. | 谢谢 菲利希亚 你真是妙手良医 |
| [16:37] | Hang on. We’re not done here. | 等等 还没有说完 |
| [16:39] | We’ve identified the problem, | 我们刚刚确认完问题了 |
| [16:41] | but now let’s see if there’s and underlying cause. | 现在看看有没有深层原因 |
| [16:43] | Eh, I’m good with super wrong. Do you take checks? | 大错特错这个结果我很满意 收支票吗 |
| [16:46] | There’s no money in that account. | 账户里没钱 |
| [16:47] | I spent it all on the boat. | 我全用来买船了 |
| [16:51] | Adam, you risked your most important relationship for this, | 亚当 你用最重要的关系去冒险 |
| [16:54] | so there must be something deeper going on. | 肯定还有更深层的原因在里面 |
| [16:56] | When you think about the boat, what comes to mind? | 你想到船的时候 会想到什么 |
| [16:59] | The boat. | 船 |
| [17:01] | I’m talking about maybe a-a special memory or feeling. | 我说的是某种特殊的回忆或感受 |
| [17:08] | I guess I think about my dad taking me out fishing | 我可能会想到小时候 我爸爸带着我 |
| [17:11] | when I was a kid. | 坐船出去钓鱼吧 |
| [17:12] | Now we’re getting somewhere. | 这就是进展了 |
| [17:14] | No, we’re not. Stay with me, Felicia. | 不 不是 站在我这边 菲利希亚 |
| [17:17] | When we were on the boat, | 当时我们在船上 |
| [17:20] | we’d laugh and crack dirty jokes. | 说说笑笑 讲黄色段子 |
| [17:23] | He’d let me have a sip of his beer. | 他还会让我尝一口他的啤酒 |
| [17:26] | Yeah, it was, like, for one day, | 那一天时间 也许就是 |
| [17:28] | he stopped barking at me and we were pals. | 他不会骂我 而是把我当他的哥们 |
| [17:33] | That’s very touching, Adam. | 非常感人 亚当 |
| [17:35] | I’m glad my dad was in the room to hear you say that. | 很高兴我爸爸也能在这里听到这番话 |
| [17:39] | So the idea of the boat | 所以船对你来说 |
| [17:41] | is very emotional for you. | 是很有感情在里面的 |
| [17:43] | Yeah. I guess. | 也许是吧 |
| [17:47] | You know, the more I think about it, | 我再仔细想想 |
| [17:49] | when I bought the boat, | 买船的时候 |
| [17:51] | I was hoping to have some fun times like that with our kids. | 我希望可以跟孩子们一起享受同样的欢乐时光 |
| [17:53] | They’re growing up so fast. | 他们长得太快了 |
| [17:55] | Well, that’s why I was against the boat. | 这是我反对买船的原因 |
| [17:58] | Time is precious, | 时间宝贵 |
| [18:00] | and I didn’t want it taking you away from the family. | 不想让船占据你的家庭时光 |
| [18:03] | That’s the thing I’m realizing. | 我刚刚意识到 |
| [18:04] | I didn’t want the boat just for me. | 我不是为我自己买的船 |
| [18:06] | I wanted it for us. | 是为了我们 |
| [18:09] | I can’t believe you never told me that. | 你怎么从来没告诉过我 |
| [18:11] | I didn’t even know that was in there. | 我自己也不知道我有这种想法 |
| [18:13] | It snuck up on me, like a burp. | 它突然出现的 像一个嗝 |
| [18:16] | I think I might be deep. | 我这人还挺有深度 |
| [18:26] | Don, Marcy, come on back. | 老唐 玛茜 跟我走 |
| [18:27] | I’m Dr. Felicia. | 我是菲利希亚医生 |
| [18:31] | Where’s Chuck? | 查克哪去了 |
| [18:33] | Chuck can’t save you now. | 现在查克救不了你了 |
| [18:36] | Up you go. | 起来走吧 |
| [18:37] | I don’t want to. | 我不想去 |
| [18:45] | Never again. | 永别了 |
| [18:58] | Hey. Back to flannel, huh? | 穿回法兰绒了 |
| [19:00] | Dr. Felicia was brutal. She pounded me like a speed bag. | 菲利希亚医生太残暴了 把我当成小梨球一样吊打 |
| [19:04] | So you’re selling it? | 你要卖了它吗 |
| [19:05] | Yeah, it’s for the best. Man. | 对 最好的办法了 |
| [19:07] | I learned it wasn’t about the boat, it was about family. | 我学到了 重点不是船 而是家庭 |
| [19:11] | Can’t drink beer and pee off the side of a family, though. | 没有家庭 也就不能喝酒撒尿了 |
| [19:16] | You can take the sign down. I found a buyer for your boat. | 牌子摘了吧 我给船找到买家了 |
| [19:19] | Well, that was fast. | 够快的 |
| [19:20] | Yeah, it’s a lady | 是的 是一位女士 |
| [19:21] | who wants to buy it for her husband. | 想给她的丈夫买 |
| [19:23] | He was professionally diagnosed as super wrong, | 他之前被专业诊断为大错特错 |
| [19:26] | but, you know, | 不过 你知道的 |
| [19:27] | now that she understands why the boat’s been a dream of his, | 现在她理解了船为什么是丈夫的梦想 |
| [19:32] | she wants to make it happen. | 希望帮他圆这个梦 |
| [19:35] | Oh, Andi. | 安迪 |
| [19:38] | Wow, that’s almost exactly what happened to you. | 几乎和你的经历一模一样 |
| [19:42] | Go home, Don. | 回家吧 大唐 |
| [19:44] | It’s a crazy world. | 真是一个疯狂的世界 |
| [19:49] | Thanks, Dr. Chuck. Great session. | 谢谢 查克医生 咨询得非常好 |
| [19:53] | I didn’t realize me wanting you | 我之前都没意识到 |
| [19:54] | to wear pants was smothering you. | 让你穿裤子是在逼迫你 |
| [19:57] | I’m sorry. | 对不起 |
| [19:59] | I think you are a perfect Ma’am. | 我觉得你是一位完美的女士 |
| [20:01] | But you might need some changes if Dr.Chuck said so. | 不过既然查克医生这么说 也许需要做一点点改变吧 |