时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:04] | Want some coffee? | 要咖啡吗 |
[00:05] | Say yes. It’s french press. | 来一杯吧 这可是法式滤压壶泡出来的 |
[00:07] | I was doubtful, too, | 一开始我也怀疑 |
[00:09] | but I honestly can’t see myself going back to drip. | 但说实话尝过之后 普通的滤滴咖啡都是浮云 |
[00:11] | I’m so happy you don’t live in a tough neighborhood anymore. | 真高兴你们终于搬离那个是非之地了 |
[00:14] | We’re so sorry for just dropping by like this. | 这样贸然来访 真是不好意思 |
[00:16] | Are you kidding me? | 你们开什么玩笑 |
[00:17] | I’ll take any chance to spend time with this little princess. | 我巴不得和这位小公主一起呢 |
[00:21] | I love her little hair, her little toes. | 软软头发小脚丫 我打心底喜欢 |
[00:24] | and she loves her grandmother. | 她也打从心底里喜欢她的奶奶 |
[00:26] | I don’t love “Grandmother.” | 不许叫我”奶奶” |
[00:28] | So, Cam and I have been revising our will | 我和小卡在修订遗嘱 |
[00:30] | to specify who should take care of Lily | 以防天有不测风云 |
[00:32] | if, god forbid, something happened to us. | 上帝保佑最好没有 我们想给莉莉指定个监护人 |
[00:34] | God forbid. | 上帝会保佑咱俩的 |
[00:35] | I said “God for–“ | 我刚说了”上帝保佑” |
[00:37] | So, we’ve been dropping by unannounced | 所以我们多方突击 |
[00:39] | to, you know, casually assess our candidates. | 以对所有人选进行评估 |
[00:41] | Not all of our candidates. | 也不是”所有”啦 |
[00:43] | No, t-that’s true. We did not drop by Missour-ah. | 这倒是 我们没去密苏雷 |
[00:45] | It’s “Missouri.” | 那念”密苏里” |
[00:46] | No one from Missouri would say “Missour-ah.” | 真没见过自报家门还念错的 |
[00:47] | I’m so sorr-ah. | 多有失”雷” |
[00:49] | So, anyway, Claire and Phil were our first thought, | 我们最先考虑的是克莱尔和菲尔 |
[00:53] | so we dropped by their place last week. | 所以上星期突袭了他们家 |
[00:56] | You win the award for worst mother ever! | 恭喜您获得”史上最烂老妈奖” |
[00:58] | I will be sure to thank you in my speech! | 我一定会在获奖感言里感谢你 |
[01:00] | Phil, the frying pan’s on fire! | 菲尔 煎锅着火了 |
[01:02] | Son of Jor-el! Everybody stay calm! | 我滴超人呀 大家保持冷静 |
[01:05] | Dad, I’m gonna teach myself how to juggle. | 老爸 我想自学杂耍 |
[01:07] | Good for you, buddy. | 好极了 伙计 |
[01:09] | Mom! No one heard me screaming?! | 老妈 你们就听不见我喊救命吗 |
[01:11] | I’ve been trapped in the garage for like 20 minutes! | 我在车库里被关了大概有20分钟 |
[01:14] | And yet still you didn’t get the rat traps I sent you for. | 而你还是没把我要的捕鼠器拿过来 |
[01:16] | – Oh! – Thank you. | -老天 -净帮倒忙 |
[01:17] | Honey, it’s doing it again! | 亲爱的 锅又着火了 |
[01:19] | Come on, now! Every morning?! | 不是吧 每天早上都这样 |
[01:20] | I hope the whole house burns down! | 最好烧个片瓦不留 |
[01:23] | Did we come at a bad time? | 我们是不是来得不巧 |
[01:24] | Come back in seven years and five months, | 等上七年五个月再来吧 |
[01:26] | when they’re all gone! | 他们走了就清净了 |
[01:39] | So, mama, you’re good for coal?! | 煤够吗 妈妈 |
[01:41] | Okay, okay! | 好的 好的 |
[01:43] | Well, you bundle up! | 你可得裹厚穿暖咯 |
[01:44] | We don’t want to lose you! | 可别有个三长两短的 |
[01:46] | Okay. Yeah, bye! | 好的 再见 |
[01:48] | They’re in the middle of a terrible blizzard. | 他们正处在一场严重暴风雪正中 |
[01:49] | So you shouted! | 难怪你要大声嚷嚷 |
[01:51] | Did they really lose two cows? | 他们真的损失了两头牛吗 |
[01:52] | Oh, yeah, frozen solid. Mama’s gonna send pictures. | 对啊 冻得硬梆梆 妈妈会把照片寄过来 |
[01:54] | Oh, yay, a reason to stop by the frame store. | 好耶 又有理由去买相框了 |
[01:56] | Manny, I got to get you down to that sporting-goods place. | 曼尼 我带你去趟体育用品店 |
[01:58] | – Got to get him some stuff for his weekend outing. – Ready! | -为他周末露营置点东西 -整装待发 |
[02:01] | – Did you pee? Not ready. | -尿干净了吗 -待会再发 |
[02:03] | – Jay, would you mind if we came? – Sure, why not? | -不介意我们跟来吧 杰 -怎么会呢 |
[02:05] | You know, I’d like to get mama some snowshoes — | 我想给妈妈买两双雪靴 |
[02:06] | You know, to lift her spirits, | 雪中送靴 鼓鼓士气 |
[02:08] | what with all the frozen cows and all. | 舒缓丧牛之痛 |
[02:09] | So, cows freeze now? Are we all just accepting that? | 所以牛现在就冻住了 你认为我们会相信吗 |
[02:12] | Oh, yeah, absolutely. Jay, this one time — | 当然了 杰 就次… |
[02:13] | We’ll take two cars. | 我们分车坐 |
[02:15] | If you want, I can stay with the little princess. | 我可以留下来照顾小公主 |
[02:17] | Oh, that– that’s a great idea. | 那可太好了 |
[02:19] | Oh, yeah, I’ll just — I’ll just go out and get her bag. | 我去拿她的包 |
[02:20] | Maybe I can take her to the mall, | 我想带她去商场 |
[02:22] | buy her a new outfit, | 给她添件新衣服 |
[02:24] | get her some hair rings — is that okay? | 给她整俩发环什么的 可以吗 |
[02:26] | Yes, yes, of course. | 当然可以 |
[02:28] | Um, you know, Gloria, Cam and I were talking | 其实呢 歌洛莉亚 我跟小卡一直商量 |
[02:30] | about what would happen to Lily | 如果我们真出事了 |
[02:32] | if anything were ever to happen to us, | 该怎么安置莉莉 |
[02:34] | – and we were thinking – Oh, my god. Is it? I take her! | -我们打算 -真的吗 让我来照顾她 |
[02:36] | Okay, well, that’s very sweet, | 这个嘛 你愿意固然好 |
[02:37] | but you realize it would only happen — | 但要明白 只有真出事了… |
[02:39] | I can’t wait! | 我迫不及待啊 |
[02:40] | Okay, well, hopefully, it’s a long shot. | 可惜机会渺茫呀 |
[02:41] | Ay, a little girl! | 小丫头 |
[02:43] | There would have to be a very tragic accident. | 一旦出事可就惨绝人寰啊 |
[02:45] | I know, I know. | 知道啦 知道啦 |
[02:48] | Nothing is going to happen. | 你们不会出事的 |
[02:50] | Oh. | 好吧 |
[02:52] | But if it did, we would be so happy! | 万一真出了事 我可就太开心啦 |
[03:00] | So, what do you say, pal? I got to swing by the office. | 怎么样 伙计 我要开车去上班 |
[03:02] | You want to come along? | 你一起来吗 |
[03:03] | Can’t. We got some stuff to do. | 去不了 我们有事要做 |
[03:04] | – What? – Just errands. | -什么事啊 -小事而已 |
[03:07] | I’m taking Luke to see a child psychologist. | 我要带卢克去看儿童心理学家 |
[03:10] | This is something that Phil would never agree to. | 菲尔肯定不会同意 |
[03:13] | He’s doesn’t want luke to feel…different. | 他不想卢克觉得自己 异于常人 |
[03:15] | But Luke’s grades aren’t great, | 但是卢克学习不好 |
[03:17] | and he’s having trouble concentrating in school. | 而且他在学校注意力涣散 |
[03:19] | I just want to make sure that he’s…normal. | 我只想确保他 身心正常 |
[03:23] | – Hey, mom, check it out. – What are you doing? | -妈妈快看呀 -你干什么呢 |
[03:26] | If I move my head fast enough, | 只要我晃头的速度够快 |
[03:27] | It looks like the can is standing still. | 这罐子看起来就像静止了一样 |
[03:29] | ’cause sometimes I wonder. | 因为有时我怀疑 |
[03:32] | But all the girls at work love it | 不过我公司的女孩子 |
[03:33] | when I bring luke by, | 都喜欢我带卢克过去 |
[03:34] | especially that receptionist Heather, right, buddy? | 特别是那个叫海瑟的前台 是吧 |
[03:37] | She smells amazing. | 她闻起来很香 |
[03:38] | Mm. Well, honey, you’re gonna have to | 亲爱的 恐怕你得改天再去 |
[03:40] | smell daddy’s receptionist some other time. | 一闻你老爸前台的芳香了 |
[03:41] | Like peaches. | 那香味像桃子 |
[03:42] | If you’re both going out, who’s taking me to cello? | 你们都出去了 谁带我去练大提琴 |
[03:45] | – One time, she gave me a woody. – Sweet je– | -有次 她送我一个胡迪 -亲爱的 |
[03:47] | She remembered he’s my favorite character from “Toy story.” | 她记得那是《玩具总动员》里我最喜欢的角色 |
[03:49] | She did. | 她记性好 |
[03:50] | Uh…Haley, how are you getting to the mall? | 海莉 你怎么去购物中心 |
[03:53] | Uh, Gabby’s picking me up. | 盖比接我过去 |
[03:55] | Okay, you’re gonna drop | 好 那你先把你妹妹 |
[03:56] | your sister off at her cello lesson first. | 送去上大提琴课 |
[03:57] | No way. She plays lacrosse and takes cello lessons. | 不是吧 她会打长曲棍球还会拉大提琴 |
[04:00] | Even my reputation can’t handle that dork hit. | 即使我那强大的坏名声 也承受不住那呆瓜的一击呀 |
[04:02] | Okay, well, then you don’t need | 好吧 那你假期的时候 |
[04:04] | to go snowboarding with your friends on break. | 也不要和你的朋友去滑雪了 |
[04:06] | Fine, I’ll take her. | 好吧 我带她过去 |
[04:08] | Just never look my friends in the eye, | 别跟我朋友直视 |
[04:09] | and only speak in emergencies. | 尽量别出声 |
[04:11] | – Got it. – Ah! Already failed. | -没问题 -已经犯规了 |
[04:14] | Honey, after I go by the office, | 亲爱的 我去办公室露个脸 |
[04:16] | – maybe we can grab some lunch. – Oh, I can’t. | -咱们就去吃午饭吧 -不行 |
[04:18] | I got to pick up all that stuff for the school trip. | 我要把学校露营的东西都准备齐了 |
[04:19] | But you know what? I’ll see you tonight at dad and Gloria’s. | 这样吧 今晚在老爸和歌洛莉亚家碰面吧 |
[04:21] | – Okay. – Smell Heather for me. | -好 -代我一闻海瑟的芳香 |
[04:23] | I always do…not. | 我一直都是充鼻 不闻 |
[04:30] | Ms. Dunphy? | 邓菲夫人吗 |
[04:32] | Hi, Dr. Klausner. | 克劳斯乐医生您好 |
[04:33] | I am so sorry we’re late. | 抱歉我们来晚了 |
[04:34] | We just got a little bit caught up in — | 刚才路上有点堵车 |
[04:35] | Oh, no, it’s okay. It’s okay. | 没事没事 |
[04:36] | It gave me a chance to chat with your husband. | 正好给我机会跟你丈夫聊了会 |
[04:39] | Hello, Claire. | 你好啊 克莱尔 |
[04:40] | So, Luke, come on in with me. | 那么卢克 跟我来 |
[04:42] | Mom and dad, we’ll let you know when we need you. | 至于父母 有需要我们会通知你们的 |
[04:44] | Go get ’em, pal. | 伙计 加油 |
[04:46] | – How did you — – How did I what? | -你怎么 -我怎么了 |
[04:49] | Know you were someplace you left no trace of | 怎么知道你在这儿 除了日程表上的小记号 |
[04:52] | except for a tiny notation in your calendar? | 你没有留下一丝线索 |
[04:54] | It was quite simple, really. | 真挺容易的 |
[04:56] | I noticed a tiny nota– | 我注意到日程表上的小 |
[04:57] | Shoot. | 糟糕 |
[05:03] | That’s weird. My cello teacher’s car isn’t here. | 真奇怪 我大提琴老师的车不在 |
[05:06] | I wonder if she’s not home. | 我真怀疑她是否在家 |
[05:07] | Okay, so go knock on the door, Alan Einstein. | 那就敲门试试啊 艾伦·爱因斯坦 |
[05:09] | – Don’t leave. And it’s “Albert.”- I know. | – 不许走 还有是”阿尔伯特” -我知道 |
[05:12] | Alan’s his dorky brother who played the cello. | 艾伦是他那个拉大提琴的呆瓜弟弟 |
[05:14] | Good one. | 说得好 |
[05:16] | I should probably not be telling you this. | 我本来不应该跟你说的 |
[05:19] | – What? – Nothing. It’s really bad. | -什么 -没什么 很糟的事情 |
[05:21] | Tell me. | 快说 |
[05:22] | When you and Dylan were broken up, | 你和迪兰分手的时候 |
[05:24] | Rachel told him you were a skank | 雷切尔跟他说你是个荡妇 |
[05:25] | and got all up on him. | 然后彻底偷走了他 |
[05:26] | No! But she’s so nice to me. | 不是吧 她对我很好的 |
[05:29] | To your face. That’s how she plays. | 当着你的面而已 她就会耍这种小把戏 |
[05:31] | Well, now she’s gonna see how we play. | 那就让她看看咱们的小把戏 |
[05:33] | What are we gonna do? | 我们要怎么做 |
[05:34] | She’s not there. You’re just gonna have to take me home. | 她不在家 你们把我送回家就行了 |
[05:36] | We don’t have time. We have stuff to do. | 我们没时间 忙着呢 |
[05:39] | Then I’m just gonna have to come with you. | 那我就得一直跟着你了 |
[05:40] | Can’t we just drop her off | 我们不能把她放在咖啡厅 |
[05:42] | at a coffee shop or something? | 或者别的什么地方吗 |
[05:42] | What, so she gets kidnapped | 什么啊 那她要是被绑架了 |
[05:43] | and I get in trouble? | 我不等于惹祸上身吗 |
[05:45] | No, thank you. | 谢谢 还是算了 |
[05:46] | Okay, fine, you can come with us, | 行 你能跟着 |
[05:48] | But you have to keep your mouth shut about anything you see. | 但是不管看到什么 请管好你的嘴 |
[05:50] | – What’s she gonna see? – Just drive! | -她会看到什么 -开车 |
[05:53] | Ooh, maybe I should also get a gift for my aunt Pat. | 或许我应该给我的阿姨派特也买个礼物 |
[05:56] | Have I ever told you about her? | 我有跟你提起过她吗 |
[05:57] | Total gun nut, lives completely off the grid. | 是一个十足的枪械狂 不留痕迹地生活着 |
[05:59] | Did you see how cute Gloria was with Lily? | 你看见歌洛莉亚和莉莉在一起多可爱 |
[06:01] | Oh, Pat is hilarious. | 派特十分滑稽 |
[06:02] | I don’t think she’s paid taxes in 20 years, | 我觉得她二十年都没交过税 |
[06:04] | but very hospitable. | 但为人很热情 |
[06:05] | Always has a deer in the freezer. | 冰箱里总是备着一只鹿 |
[06:06] | Would you listen to me? | 你有在听我说话吗 |
[06:07] | I think that Gloria and my dad | 我觉得歌洛莉亚和我老爸 |
[06:08] | could be Lily’s guardians. | 可以做莉莉的监护人 |
[06:09] | Look, you know I love Jay, | 听着 你知道我爱杰 |
[06:11] | and they’re still in the mix, | 他们家还在名单中 |
[06:12] | but I just don’t know about him raising a child. | 但他养育孩子方面我还不了解 |
[06:15] | Well, Cam, he raised me. | 得了 小卡 他把我养大了 |
[06:17] | Well, now you’ve put me in an awkward position. | 好吧 你这话就让我陷入了尴尬的局面 |
[06:21] | Oh, look at that. That’s adorable. | 看看 这真可爱 |
[06:25] | Let’s see if we can get you some snow pants. | 看看能不能帮你找几条滑雪裤 |
[06:27] | I just wish I felt better. | 真希望我感觉好点了 |
[06:28] | I think I’m coming down with flu-like symptoms. | 我觉得我有些流感症状 |
[06:30] | Couple of hours before your camping trip, huh? | 就在去露营的前几小时吗 |
[06:32] | I want to go. | 我想去啊 |
[06:33] | It’s just, if I’m sick, | 只不过 要是我病了 |
[06:34] | I might get the chaperones sick, | 我可能会传给监护人 |
[06:35] | And without chaperones, it’s anarchy. | 要是没有监护人 就乱套了 |
[06:37] | Manny, listen to me. | 曼尼 听我说 |
[06:38] | The buddy system falls apart, | 伙伴制会崩溃的 |
[06:39] | The principle of “Last in, first out” is ignored. | “后进先出”的规则就会被忽视 |
[06:42] | – It’s butterflies. – Where? | -有蝴蝶 -在哪儿 |
[06:43] | You’re just nervous because | 你不过是紧张了 因为 |
[06:44] | there’s gonna be a lot of physical activity, | 会有很多的体育活动 |
[06:46] | which is not exactly your strong suit. | 而且都不是你的长处 |
[06:48] | It is a little daunting out there. | 那地方有点让人龟缩 |
[06:50] | D-don’t use the word “daunting” in nature, okay? | 不要对大自然用”龟缩”这个词儿 |
[06:52] | You just need a little self-confidence. | 你需要一点点自信 |
[06:54] | Look at this. They got one of these rock walls here. | 看 他们有一堵攀岩墙 |
[06:57] | Why don’t you hop up on that? | 去试一试吧 |
[06:58] | Why? | 为什么 |
[06:59] | Why? To prove that you can do it. | 什么为什么 这可以证明你能行 |
[07:01] | If you can do that, you can do anything. | 你要是能做到这个 你什么都能做到 |
[07:02] | Really? Can I fly? Can I speak Chinese? | 是吗 我能飞吗 我能讲中文吗 |
[07:06] | No, but you can sleep in the house tonight. | 不 但你今晚能在我们房里睡觉 |
[07:08] | Ace? Want to wire my boy up, here? Go ahead. | 埃斯 麻烦给我孩子系上绳子 去吧 |
[07:11] | I’m sorry I went behind your back. | 抱歉我背着你来这儿 |
[07:13] | But you get so defensive whenever | 但是我们每次讨论卢克的问题时 |
[07:15] | we talk about Luke’s issues. | 你总是不容分说地反对 |
[07:16] | He doesn’t have issues. You’re just a worrier. | 他没有问题 是你太过担心了 |
[07:19] | Like when you thought he was never gonna talk. | 就像你当初担心他以后不会讲话一样 |
[07:21] | He was 2, and all he could do was bark! | 他两岁那会儿 只会跟狗一样吠 |
[07:23] | – I understood him. – Phil! | -我了解他 -菲尔 |
[07:26] | Look, he starts coming here, | 听着 他来看医生的事情 |
[07:27] | the other kids find out, he becomes a target, | 如果被别的孩子知道 他就成了众矢之的 |
[07:30] | like that limping gazelle at the watering hole | 就像跛脚的羚羊在水潭边喝水 |
[07:32] | that the alligator knows to eat. | 被短吻鳄发现了就会来吃它 |
[07:34] | They’re crocodiles, not alligators. | 是鳄鱼 不是短吻鳄 |
[07:35] | There are no alligators in Africa. | 非洲没有短吻鳄 |
[07:36] | How about at the zoo? | 那动物园呢 |
[07:37] | Bam! Who needs a shrink now? | 看吧 到底谁才要看心理医生 |
[07:39] | – Mr. And mrs. Dunphy? – Yes? | -邓菲先生 邓菲太太 -什么事 |
[07:41] | Hi. | 你好 |
[07:42] | Luke, I’m gonna talk to your mom and dad for a minute, okay? | 卢克 我要跟你爸爸妈妈谈一谈好吗 |
[07:44] | Okay. She’s, like, the best doctor ever. | 好的 她简直是我见过最好的医生 |
[07:46] | A couple of puzzles, no shots. | 只做了几个题 又不用打针 |
[07:49] | I didn’t even have to take my pants off. | 我甚至根本不需要脱裤子 |
[07:51] | Found that one out a little late. | 早就应该找这种医生了 |
[07:53] | I’ve been there, buddy. | 我以前也遇到过烂医生 |
[08:00] | Well, luke’s a terrific kid. | 卢克这孩子很不错 |
[08:02] | I have a few thoughts, but, honestly, | 我是发现了一些问题 但是说实话 |
[08:04] | I don’t see anything that’s cause for alarm. | 我觉得没有什么好紧张的 |
[08:05] | Awesome. Thanks so much for your time. | 那敢情好 耽误您的时间了 |
[08:07] | We — we would love to hear your thoughts. | 我们很想听听您的意见 |
[08:09] | Well…he’s a bright and curious boy, | 他是个聪明 充满好奇的孩子 |
[08:14] | But he gets distracted. | 但是他容易分神 |
[08:16] | I see it all the time with above-average kids. | 我见过很多更容易分神的孩子 |
[08:19] | Phil, honey, I want you to hear this. | 菲尔 亲爱的 给我认真听 |
[08:22] | They’re a little overstimulated | 他们会有点过度兴奋 |
[08:24] | because there are so many things they’re interested in. | 因为他们对很多事情都充满好奇 |
[08:26] | They never seem to focus. | 他们很难集中精力 |
[08:28] | Makes me crazy. | 就这点让我抓狂 |
[08:29] | Too crazy. | 抓狂得不得了 |
[08:31] | Well, they usually do outgrow it. | 他们长大了就不会这样了 |
[08:32] | – What if they don’t? – He will. | -要是还这样呢 -他不会的 |
[08:34] | Well, there’s — there’s medication, | 是有一些药物治疗方案 |
[08:36] | but why don’t we cross that bridge if we come to it? | 但是我们得在有问题的时候才使用 |
[08:39] | Is there any way to avoid that bridge altogether? | 有没有方法可以防止问题出现呢 |
[08:42] | You know, maybe there’s diet or — | 或许有食疗 |
[08:44] | or focusing exercises or something? | 或者精神集中训练之类的 |
[08:47] | Mrs. Dunphy, what exactly are you worried about? | 邓菲太太 你到底在担心什么 |
[08:49] | Get comfortable. | 庸人自扰 |
[08:50] | I’m worried he’s turning into you, Phil. | 我担心他会变成你这样 菲尔 |
[08:53] | I knew the minute I opened my mouth | 我知道我在说出这些话的时候 |
[08:55] | that I was in the wrong, | 我已经错了 |
[08:56] | but, honestly, sometimes I wonder about him. | 但是说实话 有时候我有点搞不懂 |
[09:00] | – Hey, mom, check it out. – What are you doing? | -妈 你看我 -你在干嘛 |
[09:02] | If I move my head fast enough, | 如果我头摇得够快 |
[09:03] | it looks like the can is standing still. | 这罐子看起来就像静止了一样 |
[09:06] | He’s totally right! | 他说得太对了 |
[09:10] | I just find it interesting that you blame Jay | 真有意思 你以前把你从做恶梦 |
[09:13] | for everything from your night terrors to your shy bladder, | 到膀胱害羞症这些事情都归咎于你老爹 |
[09:16] | And now he’s the perfect guardian for Lily. | 现在他又成了莉莉最合适的监护人 |
[09:18] | No, not perfect, and — and | 我没说最合适 还有 |
[09:19] | I never said anything about my shy bladder. | 我从来没提到过我的膀胱害羞症 |
[09:21] | O-oh. Then why did I have to stand guard outside the bathroom | 那为什么在派珀的三面元旦派对上 |
[09:24] | at Pepper’s three faces of new year’s eve party? | 我得站在厕所外面放哨呢 |
[09:26] | Damn it, Manny! Move it! Go! | 给点力 曼尼 快爬 快 |
[09:28] | It’s scary. | 好吓人啊 |
[09:29] | You’re 2 feet off the ground. | 你才离地两英尺 |
[09:31] | I’ve seen vines climb walls faster than that. | 藤蔓爬墙都比你快 |
[09:33] | Move your butt! | 赶紧给我爬 |
[09:34] | Oh, well, there’s your esteem-building parent right there. | 这就是曾经让你树立自信的老爸 |
[09:37] | Wait, wait, I think I hear future Lily | 等等 我觉得我听见未来的莉莉 |
[09:39] | sending us a message from her stripper pole — | 在脱衣舞钢管上面给我发来信息 |
[09:41] | “Thanks, gay dead dads. | “感谢已故的同性恋爸爸们 |
[09:43] | This dance is for you.” | 这舞是给你们跳的” |
[09:44] | Excuse me, Jay? | 打扰一下 杰 |
[09:45] | I’m getting down. | 我想下来 |
[09:46] | Not till you touch the top! What is it? | 等你爬到顶了再说 什么事 |
[09:48] | Well, maybe if we didn’t bully Manny so much, | 如果我们不这么强迫曼尼 |
[09:50] | but, rather, showed him, | 而是演示给他看 |
[09:51] | he wouldn’t be so afraid. | 他可能就不会那么害怕 |
[09:52] | Excuse me, Sherpa, can you assist me with the harness? | 打扰一下 夏尔巴人 能帮我系上吗 |
[09:55] | Oh, no. Which one of these is my driving machine? | 天啊 我的驾驶机器在哪里 |
[09:59] | Phil, I already apologized. | 菲尔 我已经道歉了 |
[10:01] | It just — it came out wrong. | 那是无意识 脱口而出的 |
[10:02] | Funny, I thought that was my problem — | 真有趣 我还以为是我的问题呢 |
[10:04] | I came out wrong. | 我出来错了 |
[10:06] | Hold on. | 等下 |
[10:07] | Oh, good, I can walk again. | 很好 我又能走路了 |
[10:10] | Honey, you know, sometimes you can act a little bit — | 亲爱的 有时候你能表现得稍微 |
[10:12] | Oh, no! Where did everyone go?! | 天啊 大家都去哪了 |
[10:13] | Oh, just a blink. | 一眨眼就不见了 |
[10:16] | Phil, | 菲尔 |
[10:16] | when you are ready to talk to me like an adult, | 当你准备好像个成人一样跟我谈的时候 |
[10:18] | why don’t you let me know? | 知会我一声好吗 |
[10:19] | Fine. Okay, okay. | 好的 行了 行了 |
[10:22] | The adults are the big ones, right? | 成人是指那些”大”的人 对吧 |
[10:36] | Hey, how do you think that got up there? | 你认为那是怎么挂上去的 |
[10:42] | Now, I know it seems daunting, | 我知道这看起来让人龟缩 |
[10:44] | Manny, but it’s very simple. | 曼尼 但是这其实很简单 |
[10:46] | I’m securely hitched to a rope, | 我安全地拴在绳子上 |
[10:47] | which means I’m not going to fall. | 也就是说我不会掉下来 |
[10:50] | You know, dad, you’re really making | 爸爸 你让我的日子 |
[10:51] | – my life difficult right now.- How? | -现在变得真不好过 -怎么说 |
[10:53] | By barking at Manny like a drill sergeant | 当我试着说服小卡 |
[10:55] | when I’m trying to convince Cam | 你会是莉莉很好的监护人时 |
[10:56] | that you’d be a great guardian for lily. | 你却像教官一样地训曼尼 |
[10:58] | – Guardian? – Yeah. | -监护人 -没错 |
[10:59] | You’re kidding. | 你开什么玩笑 |
[11:01] | Jay! | 杰 |
[11:02] | Yeah, never mind. | 算了 当我没说过 |
[11:03] | That really hurt! | 这真的很痛 |
[11:08] | This is a mistake. | 这是一个错误 |
[11:09] | Why does she keep saying that? | 为什么她要不停的说这句话 |
[11:10] | Because they’re the first words she ever heard. | 因为这是她第一次听到”错误”这个词儿 |
[11:13] | Here, you go first. | 给你 你先来 |
[11:14] | This will teach that Skank a lesson. | 给这个荡妇一个教训 |
[11:16] | Shaving cream in her locker? | 往她的置物柜中挤奶油 |
[11:18] | Just stand over there and yell if someone’s coming. | 你就站在那儿把风 有人来了就叫 |
[11:20] | She might have homework assignments in there | 她那里可能有还没 |
[11:21] | she hasn’t handed in yet. | 交上去的作业 |
[11:23] | Haley! | 海莉 |
[11:26] | – Someone’s coming! – Run! | -有人来了 -快跑 |
[11:31] | – This way, this way! – Okay, okay, okay! | -这边 这边 -好的 好的 好的 |
[11:33] | – Where are we? – Boys’ locker room. | -我们在哪 -男生置物间 |
[11:36] | It smells like feet. | 闻起来有股脚臭味 |
[11:37] | That’s not feet. Okay. Come here. | 这可不是脚臭 好的 来这边 |
[11:42] | I’m so scared. | 我很害怕 |
[11:44] | Just go to your happy place. | 想想那些能令你开心的地方 |
[11:45] | We just broke into my happy place. | 刚搞破坏的就是能令我开心的地方 |
[11:47] | Who’s there? | 谁在哪 |
[11:57] | Go, go, run, run! | 走 走 跑 跑 |
[11:59] | Not so loud! Run! Run! | 不要这么大声 快跑 快跑 |
[12:02] | So, how you doing? | 你怎么样了 |
[12:03] | Oh, not good. I’m just glad my clown training | 不好 我很庆幸我的小丑训练课程 |
[12:05] | prepared me to take a fall like that. | 让我懂得如何栽跟头 |
[12:07] | Yeah, and in terms of talking about it, | 很好 你以后肯定会对这事喋喋不休 |
[12:09] | Are we looking at weeks, months? | 你是打算说上几周呢 还是几个月呢 |
[12:11] | Do not minimize it, you, | 不要小看它造成的伤害 |
[12:12] | who I had to rush to the emergency room | 你上次穿木屐滑到 |
[12:14] | that time you fell out of your clogs. | 居然要我跑到急诊室看你 |
[12:15] | There’s your bubbly water with lemon. | 这是你要的柠檬气泡水 |
[12:17] | Thank you, Jay. | 谢谢你 杰 |
[12:19] | How you doin’? | 你怎么样了 |
[12:20] | Oh, it’s hard to tell. | 很难说 |
[12:22] | You know, anytime you have | 一旦你的腰部 |
[12:23] | a catastrophic injury to your lumbar area — | 出现了重大损伤 |
[12:25] | I could use a little piece of lumbar myself right now. | 你要算有腰一族 那我肯定是水蛇腰了 |
[12:27] | Well, I hope you’re comfortable now | 现在让我的家人当莉莉的监护人 |
[12:30] | making my family Lily’s guardians. | 你不会有异议了吧 |
[12:33] | HOLA, HOLA! | 你好 你好 |
[12:34] | You’re forgetting about Gloria. | 你忘了还有歌洛莉亚 |
[12:36] | Even you have to admit how amazing she is with Lily. | 你得承认她和莉莉相处的很不错 |
[12:38] | Mm! Look who’s so pretty! | 谁家的女儿这么漂亮啊 |
[12:41] | Oh, my god! | 天啊 |
[12:42] | Gloria, what did you do? | 歌洛莉亚 你做了什么 |
[12:44] | What I told you. | 我跟你说过了啊 |
[12:45] | You pierced her ears?! | 你给她穿了耳洞 |
[12:46] | What I said — | 我说过 |
[12:48] | I was going to make her pretty with earrings. | 我要用耳环把她点缀得更漂亮 |
[12:50] | I thought you said “Hair rings.” | 我以为你说的是”发环” |
[12:53] | What are hair rings? | 发环是什么 |
[12:54] | Yes, Mitchell, what are hair rings? | 是的 米奇尔 什么是发环 |
[12:55] | Something that you would tie your hair back — | 某种能把头发系在后面 |
[12:57] | she said it! | 她是这么说的 |
[12:58] | I didn’t say “Hair rings.” I said “Earrings.” | 我没有说”发环” 我说的”耳环” |
[13:00] | You don’t like? | 你不喜欢吗 |
[13:01] | Of course not. You punctured our daughter! | 当然不 你带我们的女儿去打洞 |
[13:04] | But did you see both sides? | 但你看两边了吗 |
[13:06] | I didn’t just do the gay ear. | 除了同志专用耳 我另外一只也打了 |
[13:07] | Look. | 瞧 |
[13:08] | Oh, my god. | 天啊 |
[13:09] | Oh, my God. | 天啊 |
[13:16] | I actually — I think we’re good. | 我觉得咱们逃过一劫了 |
[13:20] | Let’s just wait in here for Gabby, okay? | 我们在这里等盖比 好吗 |
[13:22] | Oh, my god! I can’t believe we just did that. | 天 我真不敢相信我们刚做了什么 |
[13:25] | Can you believe we just did that? | 你能相信刚才我们这么做了吗 |
[13:27] | Yeah, we had a lot of fun. Let’s not geek it up. | 是的 我们玩的很开心 用不着大惊小怪 |
[13:29] | Wait. What if I have a taste for it now? | 等等 如果我爱上这种感觉了怎么办 |
[13:32] | Am I gonna start doing stuff like that all the time? | 我会不会开始一直做这种事情 |
[13:34] | Calm down. You just did one bad thing. | 冷静点 你只不过做了一件坏事 |
[13:38] | Two. | 两件 |
[13:41] | I skipped my cello lesson today. | 我还翘掉了今天的大提琴课 |
[13:43] | That wasn’t even where my teacher lives. | 我的老师根本不住那儿 |
[13:46] | You ditched a class? | 你竟然翘课 |
[13:48] | Well, I-I didn’t have time to practice | 我-我根本没有时间练习 |
[13:50] | Because of lacrosse and debate team and — | 因为我有曲棍球和辩论小组还有– |
[13:52] | Do you even like playing the cello? | 你根本不喜欢弹大提琴吧 |
[13:54] | Yeah. | 我喜欢啊 |
[13:56] | Alex? | 艾丽克斯 |
[13:58] | I hate it. | 我讨厌它 |
[14:00] | So quit. | 那就放弃啊 |
[14:02] | I’ve never quit anything. | 我从没放弃过任何东西 |
[14:04] | You’ve never broke into a school before. | 你以前还没闯入过学校呢 |
[14:06] | Just did that. | 你不是刚刚也闯了吗 |
[14:08] | No offense, but the family’s hopes and dreams | 无意冒犯 不过咱们家的希望和梦想 |
[14:11] | are kind of pinned on me. | 貌似都寄托在我身上 |
[14:12] | I’m just saying that no one would blame you | 我只是说 就算你没有这么完美 |
[14:15] | if you stopped being so perfect. | 也不会有人责怪你的 |
[14:17] | It actually would take a lot of pressure off of me. | 实际上那样反倒会让我轻松不少 |
[14:24] | I did something bad, too… | 我也做过一些坏事 |
[14:25] | Something that nobody knows. | 一些没有人知道的事 |
[14:27] | – What? – Come here. | -是什么事 -过来 |
[14:29] | I can’t say it too loud, okay? | 我不能太大声说 |
[14:32] | What did you do? | 你到底做了什么 |
[14:38] | Phil, I’m just not sure you understand | 菲尔 我只是不确定你是否明白 |
[14:42] | why I said what I said. | 我会说那些话的原因 |
[14:44] | There are qualities about me you wish you could change, | 在我身上有很多你希望能够改变的缺点 |
[14:47] | but you can’t ’cause I’m all grown up, | 但你改不了了 因为我已经定型了 |
[14:48] | but it’s not too late for Luke. | 可是对卢克来说还不算太晚 |
[14:50] | Okay. | 好吧 |
[14:52] | Honey, there are a hundred things about luke | 亲爱的 卢克身上有无数遗传你的优点 |
[14:55] | that he gets from you that I absolutely love. | 那些都是我绝对喜爱的 |
[14:58] | It’s just this — this one tiny part | 只是 只是有这么小小的一部分 |
[15:00] | that I’m sure if I could just get in there and just…ee! | 我坚信如果我能探进去 然后改过来 |
[15:02] | Claire… he’s a great kid. | 克莱尔 他是个很好的孩子 |
[15:05] | He’s gonna be fine. | 他会没事儿的 |
[15:06] | I know. | 我知道 |
[15:09] | I think I know. | 我想我应该知道吧 |
[15:10] | I feel terrible that we fought in front of him. | 咱们俩在他面前吵架 真是糟透了 |
[15:14] | Did he say anything about that on the drive here? | 他在回来的路上跟你说什么了吗 |
[15:15] | How would I know? He rode with you. | 我怎么知道 他是跟你回来的 |
[15:17] | He didn’t drive with me. He drove with you. | 他没跟我回来 他坐的是你的车 |
[15:23] | Just admit it — | 你就承认吧 |
[15:24] | you want lily raised by anyone but my family. | 除了我的家人 你觉得莉莉被谁养大都行 |
[15:27] | It’s just so far away from everything she knows. | 只是因为那种生活和她了解的一切相去甚远 |
[15:29] | And then there’s the crazy aunts and the frozen cows. | 而且那里有位疯狂的阿姨和两头冻奶牛 |
[15:32] | Oh, please, in the last hour, | 拜托 就在前一小时 |
[15:33] | your father publicly shamed Manny, | 你爸让曼尼在大庭广众之下丢了脸 |
[15:35] | dropped me from the sky, | 把我从半空摔了下来 |
[15:36] | while his wife drilled holes in our baby’s head. | 他老婆还在我们宝贝的耳朵上打了两个洞 |
[15:40] | Which is why I think | 所以我才认为 |
[15:40] | we should revisit claire and phil. | 咱们应该再去克莱尔和菲尔那里看看 |
[15:42] | Where are my keys? | 我的钥匙呢 |
[15:43] | We left Luke alone in a parking garage! | 我们把卢克一个人留在停车场了 |
[15:46] | We don’t know the whole story. | 我们并不了解整件事 |
[15:48] | Don’t we? | 真的吗 |
[15:50] | – Whose car are we taking? – Mine. | -咱们开谁的车去 -我的 |
[15:51] | Then I’m driving! | 那我来开车 |
[15:53] | Hey, mom. | 妈妈 |
[15:55] | – Buddy! – Luke? | -儿子 -卢克 |
[15:57] | – Buddy! – Lukey? | -儿子 -小克 |
[15:58] | – Thank you so much. – Honey, get out of there. | -太谢谢您了 -宝贝儿 快下来 |
[16:00] | Thank you! | 谢谢 |
[16:01] | I’m so sorry. We are so sorry. | 我很抱歉 我们非常抱歉 |
[16:02] | – Oh, buddy, you must’ve been so scared.- No. | -儿子 你肯定吓坏了吧 -没有 |
[16:04] | – Oh, god. – Well, what happened? | -天哪 -是怎么回事儿 |
[16:05] | Well, I knew you’d come back. | 我知道你们会回来的 |
[16:07] | Then you didn’t. | 结果你们没来 |
[16:08] | So I had to go find a phone. | 所以我只好去找电话 |
[16:11] | That’s when I saw a stray dog | 就是那时候我看见了一只迷路的狗 |
[16:12] | and I played with him for a while. | 然后和他玩儿了一会儿 |
[16:14] | Then I thought I saw mrs. Morgan, | 接着我以为我看见我一年级时的老师 |
[16:16] | my first-grade teacher, going into a church. | 摩根太太 她正要进教堂 |
[16:18] | It wasn’t her, | 结果那不是她 |
[16:18] | but there was a wedding there. | 但是那时教堂正好在举行婚礼 |
[16:20] | That’s where I met the Litvaks. | 我就是在那里遇见利特瓦克一家的 |
[16:22] | Oh, thank you! Thank you so much. | 谢谢你们 太感谢了 |
[16:24] | Congratul– tov. | 恭喜恭喜[Mazel Tov为犹太语的恭喜] |
[16:27] | Mwah! Oh, baby. | 宝贝儿 |
[16:28] | – Can I go get a drink? – Yes, you can. | -我能去喝点东西吗 -当然可以 |
[16:30] | Yes, you can! You can drink whatever you want! | 去喝吧 想喝什么就喝什么 |
[16:31] | There’s tons of soda in there. | 家里有一堆汽水呢 |
[16:36] | What an amazing kid! | 多棒的孩子 |
[16:39] | I can’t believe I ever worried about him out in the world. | 真不敢相信我会担心他在外边出事 |
[16:42] | That’s what I do, though, isn’t it? I worry. | 但母亲都这样 对吧 我担心 |
[16:45] | I worry — I think about a tiny, little thing, | 我担心他 我只不过想到了一点小事 |
[16:47] | and then I obsess on it, until, suddenly, | 就一直钻牛角尖 直到刚才突然间 |
[16:48] | it’s the only thing I can think about. | 我脑子里只想着一件事 |
[16:50] | God, please don’t let me screw up our son. | 上帝啊 别让我毁了咱们的儿子 |
[16:56] | You know why else he’s gonna be okay? | 你知道他还会因为什么没事吗 |
[16:58] | No. | 不知道 |
[16:59] | Because somewhere out there is a worried little girl | 因为这个世界上一定还有个担忧的小女生 |
[17:03] | who’s making lists and labeling bins, | 像你一样会列一堆清单 会给垃圾分类 |
[17:05] | and he’s gonna find her. | 他会找到她的 |
[17:15] | Cam? | 小卡 |
[17:17] | I know you’re kind of down on jay being lily’s guardian. | 我知道你对杰成为莉莉的监护人的事有偏见 |
[17:20] | Now, that’s not anything you need to worry about, Manny. | 你不用管这事 曼尼 |
[17:22] | I just think you’re being too hard on him. | 我只是觉得你对他太苛刻了 |
[17:24] | We had a little chat in the car. | 我和他在车里小谈了一下 |
[17:26] | I’m sorry I let you down, Jay. | 很抱歉让你失望了 杰 |
[17:28] | I’m starting to think if I couldn’t even get up that wall, | 我开始觉得如果我连那堵墙都爬不上 |
[17:31] | – Then why am I even going on this – Knock it off, Manny. | -我还奢望去什么露营呢 -别这样说 曼尼 |
[17:33] | We both know you could get up that wall. | 我们心里都清楚你能做到 |
[17:36] | Now, why are you trying to get out of this trip? | 你为什么不想去这次旅行 |
[17:38] | I’m not. I’m excited to go — | 我哪有 我兴奋着呢 |
[17:39] | Manny… | 你骗不了我 曼尼 |
[17:41] | Okay. | 好吧 |
[17:42] | I have some concerns about the shower situation. | 我担心洗澡这事儿 |
[17:45] | Oh. Because? | 怎么了 |
[17:46] | – Well, I’m pretty much at my target weight. – That’s good. | -我显然达到了目标体重 -不错啊 |
[17:49] | But the thing is, I haven’t quite reached my target height. | 但是 我没达到我的目标身高 |
[17:54] | Got it. | 原来如此 |
[17:56] | All right, first of all, you don’t have to go. | 首先 你可以不去 |
[17:58] | I’ll write you a note. | 我会帮你写张假条 |
[18:00] | We’ll plan on doing something fun this weekend. | 我们周末去做其他有趣的活动 |
[18:02] | – Really? – You bet. | -真的吗 -当然 |
[18:03] | And you’re not mad at me? | 你不生我的气 |
[18:04] | Look, if you were a different kid, I’d give you the speech — | 听着 如果你是其他孩子 我就会教训他 |
[18:06] | You know, “We all have insecurities. | 害怕是理所当然 |
[18:09] | You’ve got to be brave here.” | 可你必须勇敢面对 |
[18:10] | But let’s face it — | 可事实是 |
[18:12] | You’re already about the bravest kid I know. | 你是我见过最勇敢的孩子 |
[18:13] | – I am? – Come on. | -真的吗 -得了吧 |
[18:15] | You wear blazers to school. You play the pan flute. | 你穿鲜艳的运动夹克去学校 你会吹排箫 |
[18:19] | You — you read poetry to girls. | 你会对女生读情诗 |
[18:21] | I couldn’t even talk to girls when I was your age. | 我在你这年纪的时候 都不敢和女生说话 |
[18:23] | The shower thing’s nothing compared to all that. | 和这些事迹比起来 洗澡就是小巫见大巫 |
[18:27] | So, whatever you decide, I’m behind you. | 无论你如何决定 我永远支持你 |
[18:32] | No, I got that set up just right. | 别 我都设置好了 |
[18:34] | I told you about that before. | 早告诉过你不许碰 |
[18:36] | Jay said that? | 杰和你这么说的 |
[18:38] | Yeah, and he wasn’t drinking or anything. | 他可是十分清醒的 |
[18:40] | So, what are you gonna do? | 你准备怎么做 |
[18:42] | I think I’m gonna go. | 我觉得我会去的 |
[18:43] | I mean, if Reuben can go with that extra nipple… | 连鲁本都能不在乎他多余乳头 我还在乎什么 |
[18:46] | I’m proud of you, Manny. | 我为你自豪 曼尼 |
[18:49] | You’re doing the right thing, trust me. | 你做的没错 |
[18:52] | I mean, what were you thinking, Gloria? | 你在想什么 歌洛莉亚 |
[18:54] | Ay, Mitch, I said I was sorry. | 米奇 我对你说过抱歉了 |
[18:56] | But I had them since I was 2 — huge ones. | 可我两岁都有耳环了 而且还是大颗的 |
[19:00] | What is she — | 她这是怎么了 |
[19:01] | Earrings, Phil. Earrings. | 是耳环 菲尔 |
[19:03] | Mitch, I just wanted to tell you how really touched I was | 米奇 你想让我成为莉莉的监护人 |
[19:06] | You’d want me to be lily’s guardian. | 我备受感动 |
[19:09] | Oh, you’re welcome. And you’re out. | 不用谢 但你出局了 |
[19:12] | Excuse me. | 打扰一下 |
[19:13] | I have a very important announcement to make. | 我有一个非常重要的声明要说 |
[19:17] | Oh. Sorry. Sorry, so rude. | 抱歉 抱歉 |
[19:21] | Totally inexcusable. Yello! | 这绝不能原谅 喂 |
[19:29] | Mitchell and I have decided that if, god forbid, | 米奇尔和我决定 上帝保佑最好没有 |
[19:32] | Anything should happen to us — | 要是我们有什么不测 |
[19:34] | – You don’t have to do this right now. – No. | -你不用现在就说 -不 我心意已决 |
[19:35] | We would like to Jay and Gloria to be Lily’s guardians. | 我们想让杰和歌洛莉亚成为莉莉的监护人 |
[19:38] | – Cam? – It’s the right decision. | -小卡 -这是正确的决定 |
[19:39] | That is great news! | 这真是天大的好消息 |
[19:41] | Lily, when something horrible happens, | 莉莉 要是天有不测 |
[19:44] | You’re going to be all mine! | 你将会是我的 |
[19:46] | It really is an “If” Situation. | 那是在”万不得已”的情况下 |
[19:48] | All mine! | 都是我的 |
[19:50] | I don’t mean to ruin this really beautiful moment, | 我不想破坏现在这美妙的氛围 |
[19:53] | But were Phil and I even considered for the position? | 可菲尔和我不在名单里吗 |
[19:55] | Claire? | 克莱尔 |
[19:56] | I mean, we are the parents | 我们是三个身体健康 |
[19:58] | Of three healthy, well-adjusted children who — | 行为得体的孩子的父母 |
[20:00] | Honey, we need to go down to the police station. | 亲爱的 我们得去次警察局 |
[20:02] | Our daughters just vandalized the school. | 我们的女儿们刚因蓄意破坏学校设施被捕 |
[20:07] | This is not over. | 这还没完呢 |
[20:08] | Let’s go see your new room, Liliana. | 让我们去看你的新房间 莉莉亚娜 |
[20:13] | No, that’s not her name. | 那不是她的名字 |
[20:21] | Oh, hey, what are you doing home? | 你怎么回来了 |
[20:22] | Oh, I bailed on yoga. | 我翘了瑜伽课 |
[20:24] | Oh, yeah, yeah. | 哦 好吧 |
[20:25] | Oh, oh, could you go to the mailbox and get me — | 你能去下邮箱那帮我取下 |
[20:26] | No, why can’t I just come in? | 为什么我不能进来 |
[20:28] | – You can. I just – – Cameron? | -你当然能 我只是 -卡梅隆 |
[20:29] | – What? – Look at me. | -怎么了 -看着我 |
[20:30] | – I am. – What did you do? | -我正看着呢 -你做了什么 |
[20:34] | I am home alone for a lot of hours. | 我自己在家待久了无聊 |
[20:35] | Carmen Miranda? | 你把她弄成香蕉女郎卡门·米兰达 |
[20:37] | I just wanted a couple before the holes closed up. | 我只是希望在耳洞愈合前留下纪念 |
[20:41] | Oh, cameron. | 卡梅隆 |
[20:45] | All right, just get one with me really quick. | 速度帮我和她照一张 |
[20:48] | All right. Hey! One for daddy! | 好的 跟爸比来一张 |