| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:04] | Can I get everybody’s attension. Real quick. | 各位安静一下 听我简单说几句 |
| [00:08] | Um, on this wonderful occasion– | 在这个美好的日子里 |
| [00:10] | Our daughter leaving tomorrow for college… | 我们的女儿明日即将离家步入大学 |
| [00:13] | If I could get everyone to raise their glass. | 请各位一起举杯 |
| [00:16] | As I quote from one of our nation’s great fathers– | 容我引用我国一位伟大的父亲 |
| [00:18] | Jefferson. | 杰斐逊 |
| [00:20] | George Jefferson. | 乔治·杰斐逊 |
| [00:21] | “I never dreamed that one of my own | 我没想到我的孩子 |
| [00:23] | “would be going off to a university, | 有朝一日会进入大学 |
| [00:24] | “but here I stand, a proud black man, | 但今天我作为一个自豪的黑人 |
| [00:26] | knowing that all those hours I put in at the dry cleaner–“ | 明白我耗费在干洗机上的日日夜夜 |
| [00:28] | – Phil. – Not now, Weezie. | -菲尔 -别打岔 维兹 |
| [00:30] | Where was I? | 我说到哪儿了 |
| [00:31] | Quoting that president. | 你在引用杰弗逊”总统”的话 |
| [00:32] | Okay, if she’s the future of America, | 如果她也算是美国的未来 |
| [00:34] | we should start using Chinese money now. | 我们还是赶紧用人民币吧 |
| [00:36] | We already are. | 我们早就在花中国人的钱了 |
| [00:37] | My arm is tired. To Haley. | 我手都举酸了 祝贺海莉 |
| [00:39] | To Haley! | 祝贺海莉 |
| [00:41] | And before everyone puts their glasses down, | 在各位放下杯子以前 |
| [00:43] | uh, uh, we’re also very proud of Lily. | 我们也有莉莉的喜事宣布 |
| [00:45] | Tomorrow is her first day of kindergarten. | 明天是她第一次上幼儿园的日子 |
| [00:50] | – To Lily. – Oh, Lily. | -祝贺莉莉 -莉莉 |
| [00:51] | To Lily. And you’ll be impressed to know | 祝贺莉莉 你们要知道 |
| [00:53] | that she’s gonna be one of the smartest girls there. | 她会是全班最聪明的小姑娘 |
| [00:54] | Lily, sweetie, what’s the square root of 64? | 莉莉宝贝 64的平方根是几 |
| [00:56] | 8 8. | |
| [00:57] | Wow. Hey! | 好厉害啊 |
| [00:58] | Nice trick. | 真狡猾 |
| [00:59] | Hey, Lily, what’s the square root of this potato? | 莉莉 土豆的平方根是几 |
| [01:02] | 8 8. | |
| [01:02] | Congratulations. You have a parrot. | 恭喜你们 养出只大鹦鹉来 |
| [01:06] | We couldn’t even get through the toast to Haley | 海莉的祝酒词还没结束 |
| [01:08] | before you pulled focus to Lily. | 你就让莉莉来抢风头了 |
| [01:10] | Oh, come on. It’s–it’s a big day for both of them. Huh? | 拜托 今天是她们俩的大日子好吗 |
| [01:13] | Haley going to college is a miracle. | 海莉能进大学是奇迹 |
| [01:15] | Lily going to kindergarten is the law. | 莉莉进幼儿园却是法律强制规定 |
| [01:17] | Well, Haley and Lily aren’t the only ones starting school. | 海莉和莉莉不是唯一开始上学的人 |
| [01:21] | My mom and jay are going to parenting class. | 我妈和杰要去上育儿班了 |
| [01:23] | We’re doing it for the baby. | 我们是为了宝宝才去的 |
| [01:24] | Not this baby. That baby. | 不是她肚子里这个 是那个活”宝” |
| [01:27] | Manny doesn’t believe that we know what we’re doing. | 曼尼不相信我们能尽好父母之职 |
| [01:30] | A couple of new hairs under his arm, | 腋窝的毛刚长出几根 |
| [01:31] | and now he thinks he knows more than his own mother. | 他就觉得自己比他妈懂得多了 |
| [01:34] | I know not to embarrass my son | 我至少懂得不去 |
| [01:35] | as he stands on the threshold of manhood. | 羞辱儿子青春期的正常发育现象 |
| [01:37] | I don’t know why I have to go to this thing. | 我干嘛非要去上那个课 |
| [01:38] | In case you’ve forgotten, I raised two kids. | 你们应该记得 我带大了两个孩子 |
| [01:42] | Stop pulling my hair. | 别扯我的头发 |
| [01:43] | – Stop twisting my nipple. Ow! – Shut up. Shut up. | -别拧我的奶头 -闭嘴闭嘴 |
| [01:47] | Why look at me? It was their mother’s fault. | 干嘛看我 都是他们老妈的错 |
| [01:49] | I was barely around. | 我基本就不在家 |
| [01:50] | No! Ow, ow! | 好疼 |
| [02:06] | Haley, this is, like, the third bag | 海莉 你这些化妆用品 |
| [02:07] | of makeup and hair care products. | 和护发器材都装满第三箱了 |
| [02:08] | Dad, if you want me to get good grades, I have to look cute. | 爸 要想得高分 就得靠脸蛋 |
| [02:11] | Don’t say a word. | 别吐我的槽 |
| [02:12] | No. No. I agree with that premise. | 不 我同意你那句话的假设前提 |
| [02:14] | Thank you. Wait. | 谢谢啊 等一下 |
| [02:16] | Yeah, thank you. | 好吧 谢谢你 |
| [02:20] | Claire. | 克莱尔 |
| [02:22] | In Haley’s stuff, a box of condoms. | 海莉的行李里有一盒保险套 |
| [02:24] | Yeah. Um, I-I bought those for her. | 是的 是我买给她的 |
| [02:27] | What? Why don’t you just buy her some fishnet stockings | 什么 你怎么不直接给她买双渔网袜 |
| [02:29] | and a nurse’s outfit? | 再加套护士制服装呢 |
| [02:31] | Not that that’s my thing. That just popped into my head. | 我不是制服控 只是脑海突然冒出了这画面 |
| [02:33] | Honey, she’s an adult, and she’s going to college. | 亲爱的 她已成年了 又将去上大学 |
| [02:35] | I want to be realistic. | 我必须现实一些 |
| [02:37] | I don’t want her to get caught unprepared. | 我不希望她”套到用时方恨少” |
| [02:38] | 24 times? What, are you buying her a 4-year supply? | 24个套套 你这是准备了4年份吗 |
| [02:41] | Please. Phil, that would’ve lasted me | 拜托 菲尔 那才够我 |
| [02:43] | and my college boyfriend, like, a long– | 和大学男友来一次长时间的 |
| [02:45] | La, la, la, la, la, la, la! | 不听不听不听 |
| [02:47] | Okay, we gotta hit the road. | 好 我们该走了 |
| [02:49] | Give your sister a hug good-bye. | 你们姐妹俩拥抱再见吧 |
| [02:53] | Don’t dork up our room. | 别把房间弄得太书呆气了 |
| [02:54] | Don’t slut up your college. | 别在大学里和同学睡成一片 |
| [03:00] | Seriously, though, don’t study too hard, okay? | 说真的 别太努力学习了 |
| [03:02] | I’m totally going to have fun. | 我会玩得很开心的 |
| [03:04] | I’m Iceland in the mock U.N. | 我在模拟联合国中代表冰岛呢 |
| [03:07] | Mom, we’re gonna lose her. | 妈 我们要失去她了 |
| [03:08] | I am doing my best. | 我会尽力阻止的 |
| [03:10] | Luke, come say good-bye to your sister. | 卢克 过来和姐姐说再见 |
| [03:13] | I’m right here. | 我来了 |
| [03:16] | Bye, Haley. Have fun. | 再见海莉 玩得开心点 |
| [03:18] | Don’t drink too much beer and shots of tequila. | 别喝太多啤酒和龙舌兰 |
| [03:20] | Why are you wearing that mask? | 你带着面具干什么 |
| [03:22] | Uh, I like it. | 我喜欢 |
| [03:24] | He doesn’t want you to see him cry. | 他是不想让你看到他流泪 |
| [03:25] | He’s literally masking his emotions. | 他用面具罩住了自己的情绪 |
| [03:27] | No! | 不是的 |
| [03:28] | – That’s so sweet. – Come here. | -真感人 -过来 |
| [03:30] | It’s not sweet. I’m an evil cyborg. | 没什么感人的 我是邪恶电子人 |
| [03:32] | Half my face was burned off in an industrial accident, | 半边脸都在工业事故中烧毁了 |
| [03:35] | and the mask is hiding the servos that control my mouth. | 面具是用来掩饰让我的发声设备的 |
| [03:40] | Yes, I am sad Haley is leaving, | 是的 海莉离家我很难过 |
| [03:42] | but I’m gonna be okay knowing I’ve done everything I can | 但我很放心 因为我已经尽了一切努力 |
| [03:45] | to get her set up and prepared and off on the right foot. | 让她万事俱备 即将迈出自立的第一步 |
| [03:49] | Not me. When we’re standing in her dorm room saying good-bye, | 我没有 我们在宿舍向她道别的一刻 |
| [03:52] | it’s gonna be one of the most emotional moments of my life. | 将是我人生中最激动的时刻之一 |
| [03:56] | I’m gonna cry harder than the first time I saw “Air bud”… | 我会比第一次看《神犬巴迪》哭得还厉害 |
| [03:59] | Especially when I give her this. | 尤其是在我交给她这个时 |
| [04:02] | “Phil’s-osophy.” | 《菲尔之道》 |
| [04:04] | A hardbound collection of all the life lessons I’ve learned, | 我总结出的人生道理精装版 |
| [04:07] | such as… | 比如 |
| [04:11] | “Always look people in the eye, | “永远直视对方的双眼 |
| [04:13] | “even if they’re blind. | 哪怕对方是盲人” |
| [04:14] | Just say, ‘I’m looking you in the eye.'” | 告诉他们 我正看着你的双眼 |
| [04:18] | Or… | 或者 |
| [04:20] | “If you get pulled over for speeding, | “如果你因超速被拦住 |
| [04:23] | tell the policeman your spouse has diarrhea.” | 告诉警察你同伴有拉肚之急” |
| [04:29] | Phil’s-osophy. | 《菲尔之道》 |
| [04:33] | Look how much fun you’re gonna have here, Lily. | 看看这里多好玩啊 莉莉 |
| [04:35] | So many great toys to play with, | 这么多好玩的玩具 |
| [04:37] | and you’re gonna make so many new friends. | 你会交到好多朋友的 |
| [04:39] | Oh, I wish I was in kindergarten again. | 真希望我再读一次幼儿园 |
| [04:41] | Oh, not me. Did I ever tell you about David Anthony? | 我可不要 我说过大卫·安东尼的事没 |
| [04:43] | He used to call me “Cam the ham.” | 他以前叫我”肉卡” |
| [04:44] | – Okay, Lily’s day. – Yeah, you’re right. | -今天的主角是莉莉 -你说得对 |
| [04:46] | You know what? It’s gonna be a great day. | 知道吗 你今天一定会很开心 |
| [04:48] | I’m just saying, it’s difficult to grow up | 不过 名字和”火腿肉”押韵 |
| [04:49] | with a name that rhymes with “ham.” | 成长过程就比较艰辛 |
| [04:50] | Hello? Mitch? Witch. Twitch. | 是吗 米奇 巫气 抽泣 |
| [04:53] | Bitch. | 贱器 |
| [04:54] | Elaine Stritch. | 伊莱恩·斯特里奇 |
| [04:55] | What? | 什么 |
| [04:56] | Not all bullies are straight. | 不是只有直男才欺负人 |
| [04:58] | Okay, parents… | 好了 各位家长 |
| [05:00] | Oh! We’ll see you at 12:00. | 12点再来接孩子吧 |
| [05:02] | All right. Mm! | 稳住 |
| [05:03] | This is when the crying starts. | 这时候眼泪就开始止不住了 |
| [05:05] | Does it ever stop? | 有停止的时候吗 |
| [05:07] | Come on, Cam. | 别这样 小卡 |
| [05:07] | Okay. You know what, Lily, sweetie? | 莉莉 我的宝贝 |
| [05:09] | I know this is gonna be difficult– | 我知道离别总是伤人心 |
| [05:11] | Bye! | 再见 |
| [05:12] | Okay. That was a knife to the heart. | 好吧 真是一刀直戳我心 |
| [05:14] | No, it’s–it’s a good thing. Come on. | 别 这是好事 别这样 |
| [05:17] | Oh, you know what? She forgot her snack. Oh. | 糟了 她忘了拿零食 |
| [05:21] | Where’d she go? | 她去哪儿了 |
| [05:23] | Ow! That hurts! Ow! That hurts! | 好疼 好疼 |
| [05:26] | Oh, Lily, honey! | 莉莉宝贝 |
| [05:27] | Sweetheart, come here. Come here. | 宝贝 过来 快过来 |
| [05:29] | If you ever put your hands on my daughter again, | 你再把你那小脏手伸向我女儿 |
| [05:33] | I will string you up by your feet, run you up the flagpole, | 我就把你倒栽葱挂在旗杆上 |
| [05:35] | and let the birds peck out your eyes. | 让鸟活生生啄出你的眼珠子来 |
| [05:39] | You understand? | 你听懂了吗 |
| [05:40] | Mr. Tucker, put that boy down! | 塔克先生 把那孩子放下来 |
| [05:46] | He pulled my daughter’s hair. | 他拉了我女儿的头发 |
| [05:48] | Please apologize to Connor | 请你向康纳道歉 |
| [05:50] | for using your hands instead of your words. | 因为你动了手 而非动口 |
| [05:54] | Sorry, little fella. | 对不起了 小家伙 |
| [05:56] | I would like to see you in my office. Right. | 请你们到我办公室来 |
| [05:58] | – Now, please. – Me, too? Oh. | -现在就来 -我也要去吗 |
| [06:08] | Stop it. Leave him alone. | 够了 别惹他了 |
| [06:14] | Mr. Tucker, what happened out there was unacceptable. | 塔克先生 刚才的事是不可接受的 |
| [06:17] | I agree. Is this kindergarten or “The hunger games”? | 我同意 这是幼儿园还是饥饿游戏啊 |
| [06:19] | I’m speaking of your behavior. | 我说的是你的行为 |
| [06:21] | We’ve never had an incident like this, | 我们从没遇到这种事 |
| [06:23] | and now we’ve had one on the first day, | 现在开学第一天就发生了 |
| [06:24] | Before circle time. | 还没到班级集合时间呢 |
| [06:26] | What the fudge were you thinking? | 你们到底在想什么 |
| [06:27] | Now the boy’s parents are coming in, and trust me, | 现在这孩子的家长也来了 相信我 |
| [06:29] | they’re mad as hello kitty. | 她们简直是愤怒的凯蒂猫 |
| [06:31] | Oh, you told his parents on us? | 你向他家长告状啦 |
| [06:33] | That is–that is so not cool. | 这实在 太不够意思了 |
| [06:35] | Well, I’m sure once they hear what their boy did, | 我相信一旦他们听到自己儿子的所为 |
| [06:36] | they will be understanding. | 他们也会理解的 |
| [06:39] | All right, whoever made our son cry | 哪个吃了雄心豹子胆 |
| [06:41] | has messed with the wrong moms. | 敢惹我们家宝贝儿子 |
| [06:44] | Lesbians. | 拉拉们 |
| [06:46] | While often lumped together, gay men and lesbians | 虽然基佬和拉拉常被人扯在一起 |
| [06:48] | have less in common than one might think. | 但实际我们之间并没有什么交集 |
| [06:50] | Like in the Venn Diagram of sexual identity, | 就好比性别认同的交集图 |
| [06:53] | You have gay men… | 我是基佬 |
| [06:55] | And straight men. | 我是直男 |
| [06:57] | Both the same gender. | 我们性别一样 |
| [06:58] | Then you have gay men… | 我是基佬 |
| [07:00] | And straight women. | 我是直女 |
| [07:02] | Both attracted to the same gender. | 我们都爱男人 |
| [07:04] | But gay men and lesbians? | 可基佬和拉拉们呢 |
| [07:07] | No. | 不行 |
| [07:08] | Nothing. | 毫无交集 |
| [07:10] | I am so sorry we have to meet like this, | 抱歉以这种方式和你们见面 |
| [07:12] | but I’m sure you can understand, as parents, | 但我想同为家长 你们可以理解 |
| [07:14] | the instinct to protect your child. | 保护自己孩子的那种本能 |
| [07:16] | Yeah, it’s what makes me want to punch you in the neck right now. | 是啊 所以我想一拳狠狠砸在你脖子上 |
| [07:19] | Wow. I see where your son gets all of his aggression. | 哇 我终于明白你儿子的暴力倾向源自何处了 |
| [07:21] | Okay, let’s all take a time-out. | 好了 二位都消消火吧 |
| [07:23] | That’s a good idea. This is getting a little heated. | 真是个好主意 战火烧得有点大 |
| [07:25] | Yeah, Pam, | 是啊 帕姆 |
| [07:25] | we don’t want another incident like at the lumberyard. | 别又闹出上次在木材场那样的事故 |
| [07:28] | Oh, my god. You guys go to the lumberyard, too? D– | 天啊 你们也去木材场啊 |
| [07:31] | I didn’t know they had a ladies’ night. | 我不知道那儿也办”女士之夜”呢 |
| [07:33] | Not the bar, sally. | 不是说”木材场酒吧” 蠢蛋 |
| [07:34] | Okay, you know what? He’s trying to be nice, | 其实 他是想友善示好 |
| [07:36] | And you just called him “Sally.” | 你却叫他蠢蛋 |
| [07:37] | Yeah, you’re not being very helpful, peppermint patty. | 是啊 你简直是越帮越乱 小甜心 |
| [07:40] | Okay. Let’s just stick to our actual names. | 好吧 我们就叫真名好吗 |
| [07:41] | Enough. | 够了 |
| [07:43] | I’m gonna give you a little homework assignment. | 我要给你们分配一项家庭作业 |
| [07:45] | I want you and your kids to have a family playdate. | 我希望你们和孩子们一起来个家庭欢聚会 |
| [07:48] | Maybe if the four of you can get along, | 如果你们四个可以和睦相处 |
| [07:49] | You can set a better example for your children. | 也可以为孩子们树立个好榜样 |
| [07:51] | I think that’s a wonderful idea. Pam? | 我觉得那是个好主意 帕姆 |
| [07:55] | – Fine. – Cam? | -好吧 -小卡 |
| [07:56] | Fine. We’ll host, obviously. | 好吧 不过显然是由我们来主持 |
| [07:58] | “Obviously”? | “显然”吗 |
| [07:59] | I assume you have an unfinished woodworking project at your house. | 我猜想你们家一定还有木工活没做完吧 |
| [08:01] | You’ve got a lot of nerve. | 你真是胆大 出言放肆 |
| [08:02] | Yeah, and you’ve got half a canoe in our living room. | 是啊 你做了半个独木舟还在我们家客厅里呢 |
| [08:06] | I look forward to your frittata. | 我很期待尝尝你们做的馅饼 |
| [08:08] | Oh. Why, are you visiting us in 2008? | 那么老套的东西 你当现在是2008年啊 |
| [08:10] | Oh, my god. | 老天啊 |
| [08:18] | You have some explaining to do. | 你得好好解释一下为什么生个黑娃了 |
| [08:20] | I’m so sorry that you had to find out like this, Jay. | 我很抱歉娃出生了你才发现我的奸情 杰 |
| [08:24] | Wow, you two are really far along. | 哇 你肚子那么大了 怀孕挺久了吧 |
| [08:26] | We’re, uh, we’re still in our first trimester. | 我们才刚刚处于怀孕前三个月 |
| [08:29] | Ay, that’s nice. | 真好 |
| [08:30] | Yeah, we’ve been trying to get pregnant for ages. | 是啊 我们多年来一直都在努力生个孩子 |
| [08:32] | She’s Latina. You just gotta look at her funny. | 她是拉丁人 做个鬼脸笑笑都能怀孕 |
| [08:35] | Okay, now that everyone has their doll, | 好了 现在大家手上都有娃娃了 |
| [08:39] | Let’s talk about swaddling. | 我们先来讲一下怎么包孩子 |
| [08:41] | Now you want to start by turning one corner of the blanket | 首先 你们要把毯子的一角 |
| [08:43] | toward you, like a diamond, | 折向自己 折个菱形 |
| [08:45] | And folding the top down, | 从上面折起来 |
| [08:48] | Like this. | 就像这样 |
| [08:50] | I think they made a mistake at the hospital. | 我觉得医院把我们的孩子搞错了 |
| [08:55] | Tough room. | 全教室的人都没笑点 |
| [08:56] | Now we are going to pull the other corner ’round, | 然后将另外一个角折过来 |
| [08:59] | And tuck it in nice and snug | 整齐服帖地掖到一起 |
| [09:02] | Like a burrito. | 就像玉米煎饼一样 |
| [09:03] | Done! I win. | 完成 我胜了 |
| [09:06] | It’s not a race. | 这不是比赛 |
| [09:07] | You’re darn right. It wasn’t even close. | 你说得太对了 跟比赛差远了 |
| [09:12] | Okay, it’s good, but it’s a little tight. | 好吧 你包得不错 但有点太紧了 |
| [09:15] | It’s a burrito. You don’t want the meat to fall out. | 是你说玉米煎饼的啊 不能让里面的肉掉出来 |
| [09:18] | Here. And try like this. | 看着 像这样 |
| [09:22] | And see? | 瞧见了吗 |
| [09:25] | Now your baby can breathe. | 现在你们的宝宝可以呼吸了 |
| [09:29] | I wrapped my son with one hand while driving a stick. | 我一手开车 一手都能将我儿子包好 |
| [09:33] | I think I know how to keep a baby safe. | 我很清楚该怎样保证宝宝的安全 |
| [09:38] | Man, I love being back in the dorms. | 天啊 我真喜欢重归宿舍的感觉 |
| [09:40] | It’s like I never left. | 就像我从未离开过 |
| [09:43] | Throw up a David Copperfield poster, | 贴张大卫·科波菲尔的海报 |
| [09:44] | this could be my room. | 简直就跟我的宿舍一模一样 |
| [09:46] | Honey, Haley and I have to go fill out some paperwork. | 亲爱的 我陪海莉去填一些文件 |
| [09:48] | Why don’t you throw the linens on the bed? | 你就把亚麻衣服放床上吧 |
| [09:51] | – Oh, and move the car before they tow us. – Okay. | -然后把车挪个位置 别被拖走了 -好 |
| [09:53] | Oh, my god. What is that shirt?! | 老天啊 你那T恤是怎么回事 |
| [09:55] | Pretty sweet, huh? “Haley Dunphy moving co.” | 超有爱的吧 海莉·邓菲搬家公司 |
| [09:57] | ’cause we’re moving you here and here. | 因为我们要把你”搬”到这里 上面也是 |
| [10:00] | And also… | 还有… |
| [10:02] | Here. | 心里 |
| [10:04] | Man, you used to love it when we swung you like that. | 女儿 以前你可喜欢拉着我们的手荡秋千了 |
| [10:06] | I bet we could still do it. | 我觉得现在还是可以做的吧 |
| [10:08] | – Yeah! – Yeah. | -是啊 -是啊 |
| [10:09] | Oh, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. | 噢不不不不 |
| [10:10] | Don’t you dare pick me up! And take that shirt off. | 你们敢来拉我 还有 赶快把那衣服脱了 |
| [10:12] | – What? Why? – It’s cute! | -什么 为什么 -多有爱啊 |
| [10:14] | It’s not cute! Do you see what’s happening out there? | 一点都没有爱 你没看见现在的状况吗 |
| [10:16] | People are walking around and judging each other. | 大家都转来转去互相吐槽鄙视 |
| [10:19] | No, they’re not. | 不 才没有呢 |
| [10:20] | Oh, really? | 是吗 |
| [10:20] | You didn’t see the way | 你们没看见 |
| [10:21] | muffin top across the hall was looking at me? | 大厅对面向我投来的各种淫邪眼光吗 |
| [10:22] | People can be cruel. So take it off. | 大学生的嘴是很恶毒的 赶紧脱下来 |
| [10:25] | Fine. | 好吧 |
| [10:29] | Oh, my god! Put on a shirt! | 天啊 快把衣服穿上 |
| [10:30] | I don’t know what you want from me! | 我不知道你到底想让我搞哪样 |
| [10:32] | “You only get one chance at a first impression. | 第一印象一旦定下就无法更改 |
| [10:35] | I suggest Julia Child, because it’s easy to do.” | 我建议模仿厨神茱莉亚 因为那很简单 |
| [10:39] | “Save the giblets.” | “留着内脏别扔” |
| [10:43] | Time to go to the beach! | 该去沙滩了 |
| [10:45] | You’re gonna go to the beach with a dog? | 你想带着狗去沙滩吗 |
| [10:47] | I don’t know what I did | 我真不知道我干了什么好事 |
| [10:48] | – to deserve this. – Yeah. | -得到这样一个好孩子 -是啊 |
| [10:50] | I want to show Connor my toys. | 我想带康纳去看我的玩具 |
| [10:51] | Oh, okay. You do that, sweetie. | 好啊 去吧 宝贝 |
| [10:53] | Hey, Connor, uh, no hair pulling. | 嘿 康纳 别再扯人家头发了 |
| [10:55] | Thank you for that. | 谢谢你 |
| [10:57] | Okay, we have an assortment of spring rolls here. | 好了 我做了各种春卷 |
| [11:00] | All vegetarian, of course. | 都是素馅的 当然了 |
| [11:02] | Oh, ’cause I’m a lesbian, I’m automatically a vegetarian? | 因为我是拉拉 我就肯定是个素食主义者吗 |
| [11:05] | Well, I saw it on “The L word.” | 我在《拉字至上》那部剧中看到的 |
| [11:06] | I assume they have consultants. | 人家编剧也不是乱编的吧 |
| [11:07] | I’m just saying it’s an offensive stereotype. | 我想说 那是世人对拉拉冒犯性的刻板印象 |
| [11:09] | Okay, Pam, you are a vegetarian. | 够了 帕姆 你确实是素食主义者啊 |
| [11:13] | Knock it off. | 别装了吧 |
| [11:13] | Worked out. | 碰对了 |
| [11:16] | Yeah. So glad that we are doing this. | 是啊 真高兴我们可以这样和睦地相处 |
| [11:18] | – Yeah. Yeah, me, too. – Yeah. | -是啊 我也是 -是啊 |
| [11:20] | I mean, we’re the only gay parents in the class. | 我们是班里唯一的同性恋家长 |
| [11:22] | Yeah, we should be supporting one another. | 是啊 我们该互相支持才对 |
| [11:23] | I mean, we have so much in common. | 我是说 我们有那么多共同点 |
| [11:25] | Exactly. | 就是啊 |
| [11:30] | So… | 所以 |
| [11:32] | Tell us about yourselves. | 介绍一下你们自己吧 |
| [11:33] | I’m an environmental lawyer. | 我是个环保法律师 |
| [11:35] | Uh, and I’m a homemaker. | 我是个家庭主夫 |
| [11:39] | And–and, uh, and what do you do? | 你 你们是干什么的 |
| [11:40] | I’m a financial consultant. | 我是个理财顾问 |
| [11:42] | I’m a contractor. | 我是个承包商 |
| [11:46] | You thought I was a P.E. teacher? | 你以为我是个体育老师吗 |
| [11:47] | Well, figured. | 猜的 |
| [11:48] | Hey, I have a question real quick. | 我有个小问题要问 |
| [11:49] | How do you guys get the car seat on the motorcycle? | 你们是怎么把儿童座椅绑上摩托车的 |
| [11:51] | Uh, you know, Connor is having a birthday next week. | 话说 康纳的生日会就在下周 |
| [11:54] | Maybe Lily would like to come. | 不知道莉莉愿不愿意去 |
| [11:55] | Oh, she would love that. | 她一定非常乐意 |
| [11:56] | Oh, great. Are you guys having a clown? | 真好 你们要请小丑吗 |
| [11:58] | Oh, god, no. | 天啊 当然不要 |
| [11:59] | I hate clowns they’re so creepy. | 我最讨厌小丑了 慎得慌 |
| [12:02] | Maybe you just don’t like them because they wear makeup. | 你不喜欢 或许是因为他们会化妆吧 |
| [12:05] | You know what? I’m out. | 算了 我走了 |
| [12:07] | – Okay. – Pam. | -好吧 -帕姆 |
| [12:08] | Connor, we’re leaving! | 康纳 我们要走了 |
| [12:09] | – You–you don’t understand. – Pam! Pam! | -你误会了 -帕姆 帕姆 |
| [12:11] | Cam used to be a clown. | 小卡曾经是个小丑 |
| [12:12] | “Used to be”? Once a clown, always a clown. | 曾经吗 一日为小丑 终身为小丑 |
| [12:13] | God! Not now! Not now! | 天啊 别现在发作 别挑现在 |
| [12:15] | Connor, let’s go. | 康纳 我们走了 |
| [12:16] | Pam. | 帕姆 |
| [12:21] | Why is this door locked? | 为什么门是锁着的 |
| [12:22] | Here. Let me, please. | 过来 让我来 |
| [12:24] | Lily, open this door right now. | 莉莉 立刻把门打开 |
| [12:27] | Okay. I’m not hearing anything. | 好吧 里面一点声音都没有 |
| [12:29] | I’m sure they’re fine. | 我确定他们平安无事的 |
| [12:30] | Oh, how are you sure? | 你怎么确定的 |
| [12:33] | Connor! | 康纳 |
| [12:33] | – Lily! – Connor! | -莉莉 -康纳 |
| [12:35] | Lily! | 莉莉 |
| [12:40] | Make the water comfortably warm | 将水温调到舒适的温度 |
| [12:42] | 90 to 100 degrees max. | 最多90-100华氏度 |
| [12:44] | And never leave the tub unsupervised. | 千万别将宝宝一个人放在澡盆里 |
| [12:50] | Is there something you two want to share with the class? | 你们有什么好笑的事要跟全班人分享一下吗 |
| [12:52] | No. It’s dirty. | 没有 是下流的笑话 |
| [12:54] | Excuse me. We’re trying to learn here. | 不好意思 你们不学我们还想学呢 |
| [12:57] | Don’t worry so much. Babies are tougher than you think. | 别太担心 宝宝们是很强悍的 |
| [13:01] | When I was 5 years old, my babysitter was a goat. | 我5岁的时候 我的保姆是只山羊 |
| [13:04] | What? | 什么 |
| [13:05] | Ay, please. You know about Lupe. | 别惊讶 我跟你说过洛佩的啊 |
| [13:07] | You never said she was a goat. | 你从来没说她是只山羊 |
| [13:08] | You know, it’s great that we have | 其实 班里能有一对 |
| [13:09] | a couple of experienced parents in the class. | 有经验的父母是件好事 |
| [13:12] | Perhaps you can share some of your wisdom with the rest of us. | 或许你们可以和大家分享一下你们的育儿经 |
| [13:16] | Absolutely. It’s not rocket science. | 必须的 又不是造火箭那种高科技 |
| [13:17] | It’s babies. They’re hungry, you feed ’em. | 不就是宝宝嘛 饿了 你就喂 |
| [13:19] | They’re teething, you give ’em some scotch. | 他们出牙的时候 就喂他们喝苏格兰酒 |
| [13:21] | Scotch? | 苏格兰酒 |
| [13:21] | Really? Are you serious? | 真的吗 当真吗 |
| [13:23] | What? | 怎么了 |
| [13:24] | So we left. | 然后我们就离开了 |
| [13:26] | I didn’t need a lecture from Mary Poppins. | 我可不需要那个人来教导我 |
| [13:28] | And I was suddenly in a mood for a burrito. | 而我突然想去吃玉米煎饼了 |
| [13:38] | I’d like admission to your student body. | 请允许我”进入”你学生般的娇嫩身体 |
| [13:40] | Oh, my goodness! | 噢 老天啊 |
| [13:41] | I am so sorry. I thought you were my wife. | 我很抱歉 我以为你是我妻子 |
| [13:43] | What’s going on? | 发生什么事了 |
| [13:44] | He grabbed me and said– | 他抓了我 而且说 |
| [13:45] | I thought she was my wife. My wife works out a lot. | 我以为你是我老婆 我老婆经常健身的 |
| [13:47] | Dad? | 老爸 |
| [13:49] | How’d he grab you? | 他怎么抓你的 |
| [13:49] | He squeezed my butt. | 他捏了我的屁股 |
| [13:52] | He what? | 他什么 |
| [13:52] | – Phil! – I thought it was you! | -菲尔 -我以为那是你 |
| [13:54] | Believe me, sir. I’m a respected realtor. | 相信我 先生 我是个受人尊敬的房产中介 |
| [13:56] | This is an innocent mistake. | 我绝对是无心之过 |
| [13:57] | Honey, turn around and show him your–your butt. | 亲爱的 转过去 让他看看你的屁股 |
| [13:59] | – It–it’s uncanny. – Dad. | -简直让人不可思议 -爸 |
| [14:00] | I am very normal. Please do not judge me based on them. | 我很正常的 千万别认为上梁不正下梁歪 |
| [14:03] | Are those your my little pony sheets? | 那是你的小马床单吗 |
| [14:05] | What? No! | 什么 不 |
| [14:07] | I ordered them online. | 我在网上淘的 |
| [14:08] | They must’ve sent the wrong ones. I’m very sorry. | 肯定是发错了图案 非常抱歉 |
| [14:09] | That’s what was in the box. | 直接从箱子里拿出来的 |
| [14:14] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [14:15] | Uh, for the record, I am a respected realtor. | 我澄清下 我是个受人尊敬的房产中介 |
| [14:18] | Those are not my condoms. | 那些不是我的安全套 |
| [14:20] | She bought ’em. | 她买的 |
| [14:21] | Oh, my god. | 我的天 |
| [14:22] | Apparently, that’s what people do these days– | 很显然 如今的家长就会这么做 |
| [14:24] | Buy condoms for their kids. | 给自己的孩子买安全套 |
| [14:26] | When I went to college, | 我上大学的时候 |
| [14:26] | my parents bought me a bicycle helmet. | 我爸妈给我买的是单车安全头盔 |
| [14:28] | That was their idea of safety. | 那是他们对安全的概念 |
| [14:29] | Certainly didn’t need condoms. | 显然不需要安全套 |
| [14:30] | Mm, not if you were wearing | 你戴着单车安全头盔 |
| [14:31] | a bike helmet around campus, you didn’t. Am I right? | 在校园里溜达当然用不上安全套了 对吗 |
| [14:36] | Why don’t we let you guys finish, | 你们先收拾好吧 |
| [14:37] | and we’ll come back later? | 我们等下再来 |
| [14:39] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [14:40] | Yeah. | 就这样 |
| [14:41] | Yep. | 好 |
| [14:42] | Yeah, that sounds good. | 好 这主意好 |
| [14:44] | See you on parents weekend! | 周末家长活动时见啦 |
| [14:47] | They seem nice. | 他们看起来不错哦 |
| [14:48] | – Guys, I– – I know. I know. | -爸妈 我 -我知道 我知道 |
| [14:50] | Look, we need to reorganize a little. | 我们需要重新整理下 |
| [14:51] | Your dad will go out and get us some new sheets. | 你爸出去买新的床单 |
| [14:53] | You and I can hang up all the pictures on the walls. | 我们可以把照片挂在墙上 |
| [14:56] | You know what? I think it’s best if you guys get going. | 知道吗 我觉得你们最好还是离开 |
| [14:59] | But we–we wanted to help you, sweetie. | 但我们想帮你 亲爱的 |
| [15:01] | No, I got it. | 不 我可以的 |
| [15:02] | W-what if you wanna move the furniture around? | 如果你想把家具挪个地方呢 |
| [15:04] | And we were gonna take you to dinner before we left. | 我们想在离开前带你去吃晚餐 |
| [15:06] | I like the furniture where it is, and I’m not hungry. | 我喜欢家具现在的摆放位置 而且我也不饿 |
| [15:08] | So… | 所以… |
| [15:09] | – Okay. – Okay. | -好的 -好吧 |
| [15:11] | Um, well, uh, before we leave, | 那个 在我们离开前 |
| [15:13] | I wanted to give you a little present. | 我要送你一样小礼物 |
| [15:14] | It’s actually not a little present. | 其实不是什么小礼物 |
| [15:16] | It’s probably the best present you’re ever gonna get. | 有可能是你这辈子收到的最好礼物 |
| [15:19] | – It’s a collection of all the things I’ve learned– – Thanks. | -这是我的人生感悟精选集 -多谢 |
| [15:24] | Attention. | 请注意 |
| [15:24] | Dorm meeting in the common room. | 宿舍会议在公共休息室举行 |
| [15:26] | Okay, so… | 好啦 |
| [15:28] | I better go. | 我要去开会了 |
| [15:29] | – I know. – Okay. | -我知道 -去吧 |
| [15:30] | Okay, come here. That’s my girl. | 过来抱抱 我的宝贝女儿 |
| [15:33] | – Let me get in there. – Okay. | -给老爸抱下 -好 |
| [15:35] | – All right. – Bye! | -好啦 -拜 |
| [15:36] | Bye. | 拜 |
| [15:40] | “The most amazing things that can happen to a human being | 作为人来说可以遇到的最美妙的事情 |
| [15:43] | will happen to you | 你也会遇到 |
| [15:45] | if you just lower your expectations.” | 只要你降低期望值 |
| [15:49] | Oh, they’ve got something over the hole. | 他们把锁孔也挡住了 |
| [15:51] | – Lily! – Connor! | -莉莉 -康纳 |
| [15:53] | We can’t see anything from outside. | 从外面什么也看不见 |
| [15:55] | The curtains are closed. | 窗帘关上了 |
| [15:57] | Open up, Connor! We’ll let you have a hot dog! | 开门 康纳 开门了就给你吃热狗 |
| [16:00] | What if something happened to them? | 如果他们出了事怎么办 |
| [16:01] | What kind of hazards do you keep in there? | 里面有没有什么危险物品 |
| [16:03] | Well, let’s see. That’s where we keep our gun collection, | 我想想 我们在里面放着枪支收藏 |
| [16:05] | our abandoned refrigerator, | 我们家的废弃冰箱 |
| [16:06] | and our chocolate-covered hypodermic needles. | 还有涂满巧克力的皮下注射针 |
| [16:07] | Why are gay men always so sarcastic? | 为什么基佬说话总是冷嘲热讽的 |
| [16:09] | It’s my coping mechanism! | 那是我的应对机制 |
| [16:10] | Okay, that’s it! | 够了 |
| [16:11] | Lily, Connor, if you can hear me, | 莉莉 康纳 如果你们能听到 |
| [16:14] | back away from the door. I’m gonna break it down. | 离门远一点 我要撞门了 |
| [16:16] | I’ll help you. | 我来帮你 |
| [16:17] | I don’t want Connor to go! | 我不要康纳走 |
| [16:19] | I wanna stay! | 我要留下 |
| [16:20] | Oh, thank god they’re alive! | 谢天谢地他们还活着 |
| [16:22] | I love him! | 我爱他 |
| [16:23] | No, you love the idea of him. Now open this door, sweetie. | 不 你只是喜欢这个想法 快开门 宝贝 |
| [16:26] | Can we really have hot dogs? | 我们真的可以吃热狗吗 |
| [16:28] | Yes, we promise. | 是的 我保证 |
| [16:32] | Oh! Come here, sweetheart. | 快过来 小甜心 |
| [16:34] | If you ask me… | 要我说 |
| [16:35] | Sometimes we get so hang up on our differences. | 有时候我们太过关注我们的差异 |
| [16:37] | We forget there’s one thing that we have in common. | 我们忘记了彼此最大的共同点 |
| [16:40] | When it comes to the safety and well-being of our children, | 当涉及到我们孩子的安全与幸福时 |
| [16:43] | we’re all a little bit nuts. | 我们都会抓狂 |
| [16:46] | You have dainty little hands, just like your daughter. | 你的纤纤小玉手和你的女儿一样 |
| [16:49] | You have boots like my dad. | 你的大脚丫子跟我爸一样 |
| [16:52] | I’m not saying that the goat put me to sleep or brushed my teeth. | 我又没说那只山羊哄我睡觉给我刷牙 |
| [16:56] | It just stayed outside my bedroom window | 它只是待在我的卧室窗户外面 |
| [16:58] | and scared all the strangers away. | 吓跑所有的陌生人 |
| [17:00] | Well, I’m not gonna lie. I’m a little disappointed. | 我不打算说谎 我有点失望 |
| [17:02] | Hey, kid! | 嘿 孩子 |
| [17:03] | Jay, mom, how was class? | 杰 妈 课上得怎么样 |
| [17:05] | It was great. It was very educating and– | 非常棒 非常有教育意义 |
| [17:08] | And now we know everything about the baby, no? | 现在我们了解了关于宝宝的一切 对吗 |
| [17:12] | Interesting, because your teacher called, | 有意思 因为你们的老师打电话来 |
| [17:14] | and you forgot your sunglasses when you left… | 你离开时忘了拿太阳镜 |
| [17:16] | Three hours early. | 三小时之前 |
| [17:19] | Ay, Manny, don’t be mad. | 曼尼 别生气 |
| [17:20] | I’m not mad. Just disappointed. | 我没生气 只是失望而已 |
| [17:23] | I hate this. I prefer when he screams. | 我讨厌这样 他尖叫我还好受些 |
| [17:26] | Manny, it’s no big deal. | 曼尼 没什么大不了的 |
| [17:27] | They weren’t telling us anything we didn’t already know. | 他们教的我们都已经知道了 |
| [17:30] | We’re going to have a baby. | 马上就有宝宝要出世了 |
| [17:31] | Am I the only one who’s terrified? | 难道只有我一个人害怕吗 |
| [17:32] | But why? | 为什么呢 |
| [17:34] | Why are you so terrified? | 你为什么这么害怕呢 |
| [17:36] | What if it doesn’t know not to pick up knives | 如果宝宝不知道不该拿刀 |
| [17:38] | or stick its finger in an electric socket? | 或是把手指插进了电插孔怎么办 |
| [17:40] | You were pretty lax, mom. | 你是个很马虎的人 妈 |
| [17:42] | I was the one who told you | 是我告诉你 |
| [17:43] | to turn the pot handles towards the stove | 把水壶手柄转向炉子 |
| [17:44] | so I couldn’t reach them. | 这样我就够不着了 |
| [17:45] | Manny, I didn’t worry about those things | 曼尼 我不操心这些事情 |
| [17:47] | because you worried for the both of us. | 因为有你替我们两个操心 |
| [17:50] | What if this baby doesn’t think things through? | 如果这个宝宝考虑事情不周全呢 |
| [17:52] | It’s part Jay. | 有杰的遗传在里面 |
| [17:53] | No offense taken. | 就当你没伤到我吧 |
| [17:55] | If the baby’s different, we’ll be different. | 如果宝宝和你不一样 那我们的表现也会不一样 |
| [17:57] | Hey. | 听我说 |
| [17:59] | When you were growing up, | 你成长的时候 |
| [18:00] | you had to be the man of the house and the kid. | 必须身兼家里的顶梁柱与小孩两个角色 |
| [18:03] | Now I’m here. You just have to be the kid. | 现在有我 你只要做小孩就行了 |
| [18:05] | I’m not gonna let anything happen to the baby, | 我不会让宝宝出任何事 |
| [18:07] | just like I’m not ever gonna let anything happen to you. | 就好像我永远不会让你出任何事一样 |
| [18:11] | Okay? | 好吗 |
| [18:12] | Okay. That is a load off. | 好吧 真是松了口气 |
| [18:15] | Although you forgot to pick me up last week after tango class. | 不过上周探戈课结束后 你们可是忘了接我 |
| [18:18] | We didn’t forget. We were just ten minutes late. | 我们没忘 我们只是迟了十分钟 |
| [18:21] | Ten minutes is a long time in a sketchy neighborhood. | 在不安全社区十分钟可是一段漫长的时间 |
| [18:23] | Please. It was between a gymboree | 得了 教室旁边是”金宝贝早教中心” |
| [18:24] | and a pottery barn. | 和”陶瓷大谷仓” |
| [18:26] | “Dance until your feet hurt. | 舞到脚痛 |
| [18:29] | Sing until your lungs hurt. | 唱到肺痛 |
| [18:31] | Act until you’re william hurt.” | 演到莎翁附体 心痛无比 |
| [18:38] | How you doing? Are you okay? | 你怎么样 还好吗 |
| [18:40] | Yeah. No, I’m… | 还好 我… |
| [18:42] | I’m–I’m–I’m good. You? | 我很好 你呢 |
| [18:44] | Fine. Yeah. | 我还好 没事 |
| [18:45] | Great. | 很好 |
| [18:58] | “Take a lesson from parakeets. | 要有鹦鹉学舌的精神 |
| [19:01] | If you’re ever feeling lonely, | 如果你感觉孤单 |
| [19:03] | Just eat in front of a mirror.” | 就在镜子前吃饭吧 |
| [19:06] | “Never be afraid to reach for the stars, | 永远不要害怕摘星星 |
| [19:09] | because even if you fall, | 因为就算你跌下来 |
| [19:10] | you’ll always be wearing a parent-chute.” | 你永远有”父母牌降落伞”防身 |
| [19:14] | TM.” | 注册专利 |
| [19:18] | Haley. Hi, honey. You okay? | 海莉 亲爱的 你好吗 |
| [19:21] | Yeah. | 很好 |
| [19:23] | Where are you guys? | 你们在哪里 |
| [19:24] | Almost home, honey. | 快到家了 宝贝 |
| [19:26] | Dad, I really like that book. | 爸 我真的很喜欢那本书 |
| [19:28] | You do? | 真的吗 |
| [19:29] | Sweetheart, is everything okay? | 小甜心 一切都好吗 |
| [19:31] | Yeah, I just wanted to say thank you for everything, | 很好 我只是想感谢你们所做的一切 |
| [19:35] | you know, today and stuff. | 今天 还有以前的一切 |
| [19:40] | O-of course. | 客气什么 |
| [19:41] | – Sure. – Of course. If–if you need anything at all… | -应该的 -不用谢 如果你有任何的需要 |
| [19:43] | You just call us. | 打电话给我们就行 |
| [19:44] | I’ll probably need some more condoms soon. | 我可能很快需要更多的安全套 |
| [19:46] | Not funny. | 不好笑 |
| [19:48] | I’m sending you some care bear sheets. | 我会给你寄爱心熊床单过去 |
| [19:50] | Anyway, | 总之 |
| [19:51] | I should probably get going. We have orientation at 7:00 a.m. | 我得挂了 明早7点有新生入学会 |
| [19:54] | G-good luck with that, sweetie. | 祝你好运 宝贝 |
| [19:58] | I love you, guys. | 我爱你们 |
| [20:00] | We love you, too, honey. | 我们也爱你 亲爱的 |
| [20:02] | So, so much. | 非常爱 |
| [20:04] | Bye. | 拜 |
| [20:05] | Bye, Haley. | 拜 海莉 |
| [20:08] | I’ll miss you. | 我会想你们的 |
| [20:20] | “Marry someone who looks sexy while disappointed.” | 结婚要找看起来性感与失望并存的人 |
| [20:25] | See? | 明白不 |
| [20:27] | “Older black ladies make the best iced tea.” | 年老的黑人女性做的冰茶最好喝 |
| [20:32] | “Success is 1% inspiration, | 成功来自于1%的灵感 |
| [20:35] | 98% perspiration, | 98%的努力 |
| [20:38] | and 2% attention to detail.” | 以及2%对细节的注意 |
| [20:40] | “You can tell a lot about a person from his biography.” | 通过一个人的自传 你可以很好地了解他 |
| [20:46] | “Watch a sunrise at least once a day.” | 一天至少看一次日出 |
| [20:50] | “If you love something, set it free, | 如果你爱着什么 给它自由 |
| [20:53] | unless it’s a tiger.” | 除非它是只老虎 |
| [20:55] | “If you’re ever in jam, | 如果你碰到塞车 |
| [20:57] | a crayon scrunched up under your nose | 两嘴嘟起在鼻子下夹支蜡笔 |
| [20:58] | makes a good pretend mustache.” | 就是一撇完美的假胡子 |
| [21:01] | “When life gives you lemonade, | 生活给了你甜甜的柠檬水 |
| [21:01] | [原文是生活给了你酸柠檬 你就把它变成柠檬水 意为不怕困难苦中作甜] | |
| [21:03] | make lemons. | 你就把它变成酸酸的柠檬 |
| [21:05] | Life will be all like, ‘what?!'” | 生活就会大吃一惊说 你搞毛啊 |