| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | Do we really have to leave? | 我们真的得走吗 |
| [00:03] | Yeah, can’t we just stay a couple more days? | 是啊 我们不能再多待几天吗 |
| [00:05] | I know — it’s killing me. | 我知道 我也很难受 |
| [00:06] | Tomorrow’s open-mic night at the Apollo. | 明天是阿波罗剧院的开麦之夜 |
| [00:08] | Look, we’ll all come back. I love it here, too. | 我们还会再回来 我也喜欢这里 |
| [00:11] | Compared to New Yorkers, I’m laid-back. | 跟纽约人相比 我很放松 |
| [00:13] | Now, come on. | 来抱抱 |
| [00:14] | Get upstairs and pack, or else you might miss your flight. | 快上楼收拾行李 不然你们可能赶不上飞机 |
| [00:17] | After a great week in New York, | 在纽约度过美好的一周后 |
| [00:19] | I had to get to Raleigh for the Carolina Closet Caucus. | 我得去罗利参加卡罗来纳州橱柜大会 |
| [00:22] | Phil and I have always wanted | 菲尔和我一直都想 |
| [00:23] | to drive across the country together, | 一起开车周游全国 |
| [00:25] | so we thought we’d make a road trip of it. | 所以我们想来个自驾游 |
| [00:26] | – Bye! Bye, guys! – Bye! Bye! Bye! | -再见 孩子们 -再见 |
| [00:28] | We’ll miss you! | 我们会想你们的 |
| [00:30] | Okay, here’s the deal — We’re staying another night. | 就这样决定了 我们再住一晚 |
| [00:32] | What? | 什么 |
| [00:33] | You heard mom and dad. They said no. | 你听到爸妈说的话了 他们说不行 |
| [00:35] | Well, we’ll still get home before them. They’ll never know. | 我们还是会在他们之前到家 他们不会知道 |
| [00:37] | Oh, come on. Andy and I just broke up. | 拜托 安迪和我刚分手 |
| [00:39] | I’m not ready to go back and face life. | 我还没准备好回去面对生活 |
| [00:41] | Come on, how would we even pay for the hotel? | 我们要怎么付房费啊 |
| [00:43] | We can use Luke’s carnival settlement money. | 我们可以用卢克的园游会赔偿金 |
| [00:45] | No way! I earned that. | 不行 那是我赚的 |
| [00:47] | I’m the one who fell off that ride. | 摔下游乐设施的是我 |
| [00:48] | We were the ones who really suffered. | 受罪的其实是我们 |
| [00:49] | We couldn’t turn on lights or make loud noises | 在你的头消肿之前 我们都不能开灯 |
| [00:51] | until your head got small again. | 或者发出很大的声音 |
| [00:53] | We can’t use that money. It’s for college. | 我们不能用那笔钱 那是给我上大学用的 |
| [01:00] | Okay, okay, let’s spend it. | 好啦 好啦 花了吧 |
| [01:03] | Oh, look — that sushi restaurant we never made it to. | 瞧瞧 我们一直没去成的寿司餐厅 |
| [01:06] | Oh, yeah. We tried. | 是啊 我们努力过了 |
| [01:07] | They just never had a table for five. | 可是他们从没刚好有五人桌 |
| [01:10] | We had a lot of fun, though, didn’t we? | 但这一趟我们玩得很开心 对吧 |
| [01:12] | – Yes, we did. – Yeah. | -是啊 -是啊 |
| [01:14] | Never got to get on | 可惜的就是 |
| [01:15] | one of those horse-drawn carriages through the park. | 没有乘坐到中央公园游园马车 |
| [01:16] | Alex’s allergies. | 艾丽克斯过敏 |
| [01:18] | Didn’t know you could be allergic to carriage leather. | 都不知道原来有人能单对马车皮革过敏 |
| [01:20] | Still, just so much good family time. | 但这依然是一段很棒的家庭时光 |
| [01:23] | Family time. | 家庭时光 |
| [01:27] | Are you thinking what I’m thinking? | 你的想法跟我一样吗 |
| [01:28] | You could blow off the convention. | 你可以不去开会 |
| [01:29] | We could stay here for a romantic few days | 我们可以待在这里 度过浪漫的几天 |
| [01:30] | but never tell the kids because we just made them go home? | 但别告诉孩子们 因为我们刚逼他们回家了 |
| [01:32] | Yes! | 没错 |
| [01:33] | That is the first time you’ve ever answered that question right. | 这是你第一次答对这个问题 |
| [01:37] | Not today! | 我不要今天死 |
| [01:38] | R.I.P. | 谨以此集，献给轴人浓子，感谢你的付出 摩登这个大家庭，永远印着你的名字 |
| [01:53] | Oh! Cam, it is so beautiful outside. | 小卡 外面天气真好 |
| [01:55] | You got to — | 你得… |
| [01:58] | Ohhhh…right. | 好吧 |
| [01:59] | We decided to spend the summer in Missouri. | 我们决定去密苏里州度过夏天 |
| [02:01] | But we arrived to find Cam’s grandma on her deathbed. | 但我们过来后发现小卡的奶奶躺在临终床上 |
| [02:05] | Right where we left her at Thanksgiving. | 从感恩节到现在完全没变 |
| [02:07] | Hey, um, I wish you’d be a little more mindful | 我希望你能多体谅 |
| [02:11] | of my family situation. | 我的家庭情况 |
| [02:12] | I’m sorry — I didn’t realize the vigil | 抱歉 我没意识到祈祷 |
| [02:13] | had drifted out to the common areas. | 转移到了公用区域 |
| [02:15] | Cam, come on. | 小卡 拜托 |
| [02:16] | She’s 95 years old and plugged into a wall. | 她都95岁了 靠设备维持生命 |
| [02:18] | Maybe it’s time to, you know… | 也许是时候… |
| [02:20] | What? What are you saying, Mitchell? | 什么 你什么意思 米奇尔 |
| [02:21] | That we should pull the plug? | 我们该停了设备吗 |
| [02:23] | Lord o’ mercy. | 愿上帝怜悯你 |
| [02:27] | Have you even taken your turn sitting with Gram? | 你有轮班去陪过奶奶吗 |
| [02:29] | No, she doesn’t want me there. She hates me. | 没有 她才不想要我陪 她恨我 |
| [02:31] | This again. | 又来了 |
| [02:32] | Cam, she refers to me as “the sissy.” | 小卡 她称我为”那娘炮” |
| [02:34] | You heard that wrong. | 你听错了 |
| [02:35] | She’s hard to understand because of the dentures she inherited. | 因为她继承的假牙 我们很难听懂她的话 |
| [02:37] | You know they were made from the keys of a child’s piano. | 你知道那假牙是儿童钢琴的琴键做的吧 |
| [02:40] | What do you even say to someone in a coma? | 而且对昏迷的人能说什么啊 |
| [02:42] | Well, Mama’s reading her poetry. | 妈妈读着她的诗 |
| [02:43] | Lily’s reciting scripture. | 莉莉朗诵《圣经》 |
| [02:45] | Pam and I are gonna sing a song we wrote when we were younger, | 小帕和我打算唱我们小时候改编的歌 |
| [02:47] | “Sweet Home Ala-gramma.” | 《甜蜜之家阿拉奶奶》 |
| [02:48] | Okay, yeah, t-teach me that. | 好 教我唱吧 |
| [02:49] | Oh, I’m sorry — Is she your Ala-gramma? | 抱歉 她是你的阿拉奶奶吗 |
| [02:52] | Oh, fine. I’ll think of something. | 好吧 我再自己想出点什么 |
| [02:56] | * Onward — * | * 前进… * |
| [02:59] | Sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [03:04] | This collar itches. | 这衣领好痒 |
| [03:05] | Stop it. You all look so handsome. | 别挠了 你们看起来都很帅 |
| [03:08] | We look like The Three Amigos. | 我们看起来像是三剑客 |
| [03:10] | We were in Juarez | 我们在华雷斯 |
| [03:11] | for my sweet 19-year-old cousin Marisol’s third wedding. | 参加我19岁的可爱表妹玛丽索的第三次婚礼 |
| [03:14] | It was so beautiful. | 真是太美了 |
| [03:16] | Thank God that they finished that tunnel in time | 谢天谢地他们按时挖通了地道 |
| [03:18] | for her father to make it. | 她爸爸才能及时偷渡赶到 |
| [03:20] | Ay, Jay, stop with the phone. You’re missing everything. | 杰 别玩手机了 你错过了一切 |
| [03:23] | Hang on — I’m trying to lock up some sausages | 等等 我在为本周末的父亲节 |
| [03:25] | for Father’s Day this weekend. | 订一些香肠 |
| [03:27] | You wait till the last minute, you wind up eating | 要是等到最后才订 |
| [03:28] | chicken and apple, like some damn hippie. | 就只能跟嬉皮士一样 吃鸡肉苹果味香肠了 |
| [03:31] | Double click! | 双击 |
| [03:33] | La Diabla. Manny, come dance with me. | 那妖妇 曼尼 跟我来跳舞 |
| [03:41] | Son of a bitch, that’s good! | 我去 真他娘好吃 |
| [03:43] | Hola, Jay. | 你好 杰 |
| [03:44] | Oh, hey…Sonia. | 桑娅 |
| [03:46] | I see Gloria’s avoiding me. | 我看见歌洛莉亚躲着我了 |
| [03:48] | She’s still mad because I forwarded her that mass e-mail. | 她还在气我转发了那封群发邮件给她 |
| [03:51] | Could be that, or it could be the last time you saw her, | 也许吧 也可能是上次你们见面时 |
| [03:53] | you tried to steal me and kill her. | 你想抢走我 再杀了她 |
| [03:55] | So, how is my sister? | 我姐姐怎么样 |
| [03:57] | Fantastic. Great. | 很好啊 好极了 |
| [03:58] | ‘Course, with Joe and also her hot-sauce business, | 当然了 有了乔和她的辣酱生意 |
| [04:01] | she got a lot on her plate. | 她可有得忙了 |
| [04:02] | Hey, have you tried one of these Mexican cookies? | 你吃过这种墨西哥曲奇吗 |
| [04:05] | They just call them cookies. | 我们称呼它为曲奇而已 |
| [04:06] | I’ll speak with Gloria later. | 我一会儿要跟歌洛莉亚谈谈 |
| [04:07] | I have to drop this at the gift table. | 我得先把这个放到礼物桌上 |
| [04:10] | Great. | 太好了 |
| [04:13] | My seat is cold, and the flowers wilted. | 我的座位发冷 花儿也都枯萎了 |
| [04:16] | I see that my sister has been here. | 看来我妹妹来过这里了 |
| [04:18] | Will you get over that? | 你能放下那仇了吗 |
| [04:19] | She couldn’t have been nicer. We talked about Joe. | 她刚刚很友好 我们聊了聊乔 |
| [04:21] | I told her how well your hot-sauce business was going. | 我告诉她你的辣酱生意做得有多好 |
| [04:23] | By the way, have you tried one of these cookies? | 对了 你吃过这种曲奇了吗 |
| [04:25] | Why did you tell her about the sauce? | 你干嘛告诉她辣酱的事 |
| [04:27] | Everybody, get your things. | 各位 拿上你们的东西 |
| [04:28] | We have to leave Juarez right now! | 我们得马上离开华雷斯 |
| [04:31] | What?! It took me 45 minutes to get into this outfit! | 什么 我花了45分钟才穿上这身衣服 |
| [04:33] | You know how crazy Sonia can be. | 你知道桑娅会有多神经病 |
| [04:35] | She’s gonna be so jealous now that she knows | 现在她一定嫉妒死了 因为得知 |
| [04:37] | that I am a very successful businesswoman. | 我是个非常成功的女商人 |
| [04:39] | Aren’t you 400 bucks in the hole on that thing? | 那生意你不是还亏了400刀吗 |
| [04:41] | You don’t think this looks bad — | 你不觉得这样不好吗 |
| [04:42] | us walking out before dinner? | 晚餐开始前就离开这里 |
| [04:43] | Joe has a fever, and he — he’s sweating very much. | 乔发烧了 他…他在大出汗呢 |
| [04:47] | No, I’m not. | 没有 我才没有 |
| [04:51] | I’m gonna reverse what I said. | 我要收回我说的话 |
| [04:52] | Central Park dog rentals — million-dollar idea. | 中央公园租狗生意 是能大赚特赚的点子 |
| [04:55] | Yeah, and maybe it’s just the high of being on vacation, | 对啊 而且可能度假让我嗨到糊涂了 |
| [04:57] | but is there a bird more majestic than the American pigeon? | 但是还有比美洲旅鸽[已灭绝]更高贵的鸟吗 |
| [05:01] | Get dressed. We’re going out for walk-around breakfast pizza. | 穿衣服 我们出去吃早餐披萨 |
| [05:05] | Oh! Shoot. Forgot my room key. | 糟糕 忘拿钥匙了 |
| [05:12] | Oh! I’ve got to get a picture of this paneling for my dad. | 我得给我爸拍一张这种镶板的照片 |
| [05:15] | Aromatic cedar flakeboard — game a-changed. | 芳香型雪松木刨花板 完全改变这个行业 |
| [05:19] | I love my sexy little closet nerd. | 我爱死我的性感小衣柜狂了 |
| [05:21] | Oh, honey. | 亲爱的 |
| [05:22] | I’m gonna take a quick tub. | 我去迅速泡个澡 |
| [05:23] | We should check in with the kids from “the road.” | 我们得给孩子们打电话查查岗 假装”在路上” |
| [05:25] | Oh, right, right. | 对对对 |
| [05:26] | We should also maybe get some ice for drinks. | 我们还得去给酒搞点冰块来 |
| [05:29] | Let’s wait for him in the lobby. I need coffee anyway. | 我们去大堂等他吧 反正我得喝点咖啡 |
| [05:32] | The people next door kept me up all night with their sex noises. | 隔壁房间的人做爱声大得我一晚上没睡 |
| [05:34] | I caught the end of that. | 我听到了结尾部分 |
| [05:35] | He sounded like a scared ghost. | 那男的听着像个被吓到的鬼 |
| [05:42] | Oh, my God. It’s Mom. | 天啊 是老妈 |
| [05:44] | Uh, well, stay calm. | 保持冷静 |
| [05:45] | Uh, we’re home, we flew in last night. | 就说我们在家 我们昨晚飞回来的 |
| [05:46] | Oh. Come on. She’s gonna want to talk to Luke. | 走吧 她肯定想跟卢克说话啊 |
| [05:52] | Hi, Mom. | 老妈 |
| [05:53] | Hi, sweetie. | 亲爱的 |
| [05:54] | I’m coming to you from West Virginia. | 从西弗吉尼亚给你打电话哦 |
| [05:56] | What are you girls doing today? | 你们俩今天要做什么呀 |
| [05:57] | Oh, you know, me and Alex just out shopping. | 我和艾丽克斯刚出来逛街 |
| [06:01] | Who are you talking to? | 你在跟谁打电话 |
| [06:02] | Dad. Who are you talking to? | 老爸 你在跟谁打电话 |
| [06:04] | – Mom. – Mom. | -老妈 -老妈 |
| [06:05] | – The girls. – Luke. | -俩闺女 -卢克 |
| [06:06] | Hold on. | 等下 |
| [06:08] | I told them we were in West Virginia. | 我告诉她们我们在西弗吉尼亚 |
| [06:10] | – What did you say? – Kentucky. | -你说什么 -肯塔基 |
| [06:11] | Mom thinks we’re shopping. | 老妈以为我们在逛街 |
| [06:12] | I told Dad I was making us breakfast. | 我跟老爸说我在给我们做早餐 |
| [06:13] | When have you ever made us breakfast?! | 你什么时候给我们做过早餐了 |
| [06:15] | Okay, girls, um, I got to go. | 好吧 姑娘们 我得走了 |
| [06:17] | – Us too. Drive safely. – Bye. | -我们也是 开车注意安全哦 -拜 |
| [06:18] | Hey, buddy, I should get going. | 哥们 我得走了 |
| [06:19] | There’s a cop walking towards us. | 有个警察过来了 |
| [06:21] | I guess it looks weird with us parked right here | 可能是因为我们停在州界线上怪怪的 |
| [06:22] | on the state border with me up here in Kentucky | 我前座在肯塔基境内 |
| [06:24] | – and your mom in the back seat over in West Virginia. – Got it. | -你妈后座在西弗吉尼亚境内 -知道了 |
| [06:26] | I should probably finish packing up the breakfast | 我得把早餐打包好 |
| [06:28] | I’m bringing to the girls at the shopping mall where they’re shopping. | 送到她们正在逛的商场去了 |
| [06:30] | – Okay. See ya, pal. – See ya. | -好吧 再见 -再见 |
| [06:34] | – That’s how you do that. – Done. | -就是这么简单 -搞定 |
| [06:36] | * Sweet home Ala-gramma * | * 甜蜜之家 阿拉奶奶 * |
| [06:39] | * Eyes and hair of gorgeous blue * | * 双眼与头发都是美丽的蓝 * |
| [06:43] | I’m gonna come back. | 我一会儿再回来 |
| [06:44] | No, no, no. I’m glad you’re up here. | 别别别 你来得正好 |
| [06:45] | – We can finish later. – Yeah, yeah. | -我们一会儿再唱 -对对对 |
| [06:46] | She likes it when you stroke her hair and rub her feet. | 她喜欢你抚着她头发 揉她的脚 |
| [06:49] | And, Mitchell, make sure her tongue stays moist. | 米奇尔 你要确保她舌头是湿润的 |
| [06:50] | How would I — Ugh. | 我要怎么… |
| [06:53] | Hey, Grams. | 奶奶好 |
| [06:54] | How’s — How’s the coma? | 昏…昏迷的感觉怎么样 |
| [06:58] | Oh, my God. Oh, my God! | 我的天啊 天啊 |
| [06:59] | A-Are you trying to say something? | 你想说什么吗 |
| [07:03] | Grams. Ow, that hurts. Let — let go. | 奶奶 很疼 撒…撒手 |
| [07:05] | Grams, l-let go. | 奶奶 快撒手 |
| [07:06] | Let go, Grams. Let go, Grams! | 撒手吧 奶奶 撒手吧 奶奶 |
| [07:08] | What the hell are you telling her? | 你在跟她说什么鬼话 |
| [07:12] | What happened?! | 怎么回事 |
| [07:14] | I just walked in, | 我刚刚进来 |
| [07:15] | and Mitchell was telling her to let go, and she did! | 米奇尔让她撒手 她就真的撒手人寰了 |
| [07:18] | Oh, let go — let go of my hair. | 放手 我是说撒手别抓我头发 |
| [07:19] | Somebody call the race track! Get the doctor! | 打给马场的人 叫医生来 |
| [07:27] | – Nice turnout. – Sure is. | -好多人来啊 -当然 |
| [07:28] | Grams would hate all these people on her property. | 太奶奶肯定不爽看到这么多人来她家 |
| [07:31] | She sure would. | 的确会 |
| [07:34] | Hi. | 你好 |
| [07:36] | Oh, my God. I can feel your family staring daggers at me. | 天啊 我觉得你的家人都在狠狠地瞪我 |
| [07:39] | Can’t believe they think I killed Grams. | 真不敢相信他们觉得是我杀了奶奶 |
| [07:41] | Like I’d really be telling her to let go of life. | 好像我真的会叫她撒手人寰一样 |
| [07:43] | Well, you can see how they’d wonder | 他们怀疑你也正常 |
| [07:44] | after you put your suitcase in her room. | 谁让你把行李箱放进她房间 像要入住 |
| [07:46] | It sounds like you’re taking their side. | 你这么说是站在他们那边吗 |
| [07:48] | You can’t blame them for questioning your story | 你不能怪他们质疑你的故事 |
| [07:49] | about a comatose arthritic woman pulling your hair. | 声称一名昏迷中的关节炎患者揪你的头发 |
| [07:53] | Not a story. A thing that happened. | 这不是故事 这是真事 |
| [07:54] | – Fine. – Fine. | -好吧 -好 |
| [07:59] | And you didn’t help your case | 你把她爱看的电视剧 |
| [07:59] | by accidentally erasing her “Matlocks”. | 意外洗掉了也更让人怀疑啊 |
| [08:01] | Oh, my God! Just drop it! | 天啊 能”放下”了吗 |
| [08:02] | No, not — not the… No. I — I… | 不 不 我不是… |
| [08:08] | Okay, so, when do you guys think you’re gonna be back? | 好吧 你们打算什么时候回来 |
| [08:10] | Definitely by Father’s Day. | 绝对会在父亲节前 |
| [08:11] | Oh, okay. Well, we miss you guys. | 好吧 我们想你们 |
| [08:13] | But at least it’s still only three more days. | 不过也还剩三天呢 |
| [08:17] | Was it a little risky? | 是不是有点太冒险 |
| [08:18] | Not as long as the master did the talking. | 只要出手的是专家就没问题 |
| [08:22] | Aww. Love you both. Bye. | 我爱你们 再见 |
| [08:24] | We miss you guys. | 我们想你们 |
| [08:25] | Got to run outside and paint the mailbox. | 我得出去漆邮箱了 |
| [08:27] | All you had to do was say goodbye. | 你只需要说句再见就好 |
| [08:29] | Now we have to paint the mailbox when we get home. | 这下我们回家的时候还得漆邮箱 |
| [08:31] | Sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [08:31] | It just popped into my head | 我也是因为看到 |
| [08:33] | when I saw the Statue of Liberty holding that paintbrush. | 自由女神像拿着油漆刷才脱口而出 |
| [08:36] | You know, what she used to paint freedom in America. | 就是她为美国刷出自由的工具[是火把] |
| [08:41] | Yeah. | 好吧 |
| [08:42] | The key to a good lie is keep it simple. | 一个好谎的关键在于不节外生枝 |
| [08:46] | Well, why don’t I stop talking | 我一直夸它也没意义 |
| [08:48] | about how good it is here and just bring you some? | 不如直接给你带点尝尝吧 |
| [08:50] | Okay. Bye-bye. | 好吧 再见 |
| [08:53] | We need to pick up a wheel of Arizona spicy sheep cheese. | 我们得去买一块亚利桑那辣味羊奶酪 |
| [08:56] | Couldn’t you just say goodbye?! | 你就不能只说再见吗 |
| [08:57] | Claire, the sign says “No loud noises.” | 克莱尔 那上面写着”不要大声喧哗” |
| [08:59] | You’ll scare David Blaine. | 你会吓到魔术师大卫·布莱恩 |
| [09:02] | So, he just sits in jello for four days? | 所以 他就在果冻里坐四天吗 |
| [09:05] | I don’t get how that’s magic. | 我没懂这算哪门子魔术 |
| [09:07] | You wouldn’t. | 你不会懂的 |
| [09:10] | I wish Dad was here. | 我真希望爸爸也在这里 |
| [09:12] | He’d love this. | 他肯定会超爱这个 |
| [09:13] | Well, he isn’t, and neither are we. | 他不在 我们也不在这里 |
| [09:17] | Remember how Luke used to call it “jeh-woh”? | 还记得卢克以前把它叫成”果弄”吗 |
| [09:20] | I hate that I can’t share this with him. | 真讨厌我不能跟他分享这个 |
| [09:22] | Magic isn’t about secrets and tricking people. | 魔术不是用来搞秘密与欺骗别人的 |
| [09:24] | Phil! Get it together. | 菲尔 别闹 |
| [09:26] | Like your boyfriend, David Blaine, | 跟你的男朋友大卫·布莱恩一样 |
| [09:27] | we’re taking how we did this to the grave. | 我们得把这个秘密带进棺材里 |
| [09:30] | I just feel bad that he’s missing out. | 我只是很遗憾他错过了这些 |
| [09:32] | This is our thing. | 这是我跟他的专属爱好 |
| [09:34] | You will never tell him about this, | 你永远不准告诉他这事 |
| [09:36] | or we will finish what that unlicensed carnival started, okay? | 否则无照经营园游会没摔死你 我们会弄死你 |
| [09:40] | The morning we were set to fly back for Father’s Day, | 我们打算飞回去过父亲节的那天早上 |
| [09:42] | a storm in the midwest canceled our flight. | 因中西部地区的一场风暴导致航班取消 |
| [09:46] | Let’s just get to the airport, and we will find a flight. | 我们先去机场吧 肯定有航班的 |
| [09:49] | – Taxi! – Damn it! It’s already taken! | -出租车 -该死 被人抢了 |
| [09:51] | Okay, so I think I got us on a flight through Denver. | 我好像买到了在丹佛转机的航班 |
| [09:54] | Do you mind the middle seat? | 你介意坐中间吗 |
| [09:55] | If it’ll help. | 能不摔就行啊 |
| [09:57] | This can’t all be carnival-related. | 不要什么事都扯上园游会的事好吗 |
| [09:59] | Taxi! | 出租车 |
| [10:00] | Taxi! | 出租车 |
| [10:02] | Ay, Jay, I was going to cook the sausage. | 杰 我本来打算来做香肠的 |
| [10:04] | Hey, I don’t mind. | 我不介意 |
| [10:05] | He’s taking over because we screwed up | 他决定接手应该是因为 |
| [10:06] | the last few Father’s Days. | 我们搞砸了前几个父亲节 |
| [10:08] | Don’t be silly. I got this. | 别说傻话 我来就行 |
| [10:11] | When I think of the last few Father’s Days, | 我只要一想到前几个父亲节 |
| [10:13] | I quake with rage. | 就气得要爆炸 |
| [10:15] | Hey, maybe put a little thought into it. | 不介意的话可以多花点心思啊 |
| [10:17] | Maybe we don’t order the pizza. | 比如不要叫披萨 |
| [10:19] | And if we do, | 真要叫的话 |
| [10:20] | maybe we get enough crazy bread for everybody. | 也许应该点够疯狂面包 |
| [10:23] | I’m sorry, but who made Father’s Day | 抱歉 到底是谁把父亲节变成 |
| [10:25] | the dirty stepchild of holidays?! | 节日界里的讨人厌拖油瓶啊 |
| [10:28] | We don’t even have a song. | 父亲节连首歌都没有 |
| [10:30] | – Daddy? – What? | -爸爸 -怎么了 |
| [10:31] | Got you a present. | 我给你准备了礼物 |
| [10:32] | That’s my boy! | 不愧是我儿子 |
| [10:34] | Let’s see. What do we got in here? | 让我们看看 里面是什么 |
| [10:36] | Hey. An ice bucket. | 一个冰桶 |
| [10:38] | I saw Manny take shampoos from the hotel. | 我看到曼尼拿走酒店的洗发水 |
| [10:42] | So I took some things, too. | 所以我也拿了些东西 |
| [10:43] | Then some bigger things. | 一些稍大件的东西 |
| [10:45] | I like stealing. | 我喜欢偷东西 |
| [10:46] | It makes my heart go fast. | 这会让我心跳加快 |
| [10:48] | And what’s in the ice bucket? | 冰桶里有什么呢 |
| [10:50] | A hair dryer. Thanks, buddy. | 一个吹风筒 谢谢 亲爱的 |
| [10:54] | Who’s here so early? | 谁这么早就来了 |
| [10:59] | Sonia, what are you doing here? | 桑娅 你来这里干嘛 |
| [11:00] | You left Juarez so fast, I didn’t get to say goodbye. | 你离开华雷斯太快了 我都来不及说再见 |
| [11:03] | We’re sisters. We shouldn’t fight. | 我们是姐妹 我们不应该争吵 |
| [11:05] | I miss you. | 我想你 |
| [11:06] | Okay, got it. | 知道了 |
| [11:09] | Gloria! | 歌洛莉亚 |
| [11:11] | Sonia. I’m sorry. Come in. | 桑娅 抱歉 快进来 |
| [11:13] | No, I couldn’t. | 不行 我不能进 |
| [11:14] | No, you came from so far away. | 能进 你千里迢迢来到这里 |
| [11:15] | Come on in. Stay awhile. | 快进来 坐一会儿 |
| [11:17] | Thank you, Jay. | 谢谢 杰 |
| [11:18] | The Mexican cookies. | 墨西哥曲奇 |
| [11:19] | I never thought I’d see those again. | 没想到能再看见它们 |
| [11:20] | Let me help you with those. | 让我来帮你吃掉吧 |
| [11:21] | – Hey, Aunt Sonia. – Hola, Manny. | -桑娅阿姨 -你好 曼尼 |
| [11:23] | I have some luggage in the car. Come help me. | 我有一些行李在车上 来帮我吧 |
| [11:25] | – Okay. – Help your aunt. Go ahead. | -好 -去帮你阿姨吧 去吧 |
| [11:30] | Why did you let her in? | 你为什么要让她进来 |
| [11:31] | You have to talk to her. | 你得跟她聊聊 |
| [11:32] | I really think she’s here to apologize. | 我真的觉得她是来道歉的 |
| [11:34] | You don’t know her like I do. | 你不像我那么了解她 |
| [11:37] | Ohh! Wait! What are you doing?! | 等一下 你这是干什么 |
| [11:40] | Great, Jay. Now she kidnapped Manny. | 好极了 杰 现在她绑架了曼尼 |
| [11:47] | Why are you so calm? | 你怎么那么冷静 |
| [11:48] | Shouldn’t we follow them or call the police? | 我们不是应该跟着他们或叫警察吗 |
| [11:50] | No, it’s just a kidnapping. It’s normal in my family. | 不 不过是绑架而已 在我家这很正常 |
| [11:54] | Ransom call. | 绑架电话来了 |
| [12:04] | Mom, I’m really scare– | 妈妈 我真的很害怕 |
| [12:07] | She wants my hot-sauce business in exchange for Manny. | 她要我用辣酱生意来交换曼尼 |
| [12:10] | Good! Then she owes us 400 bucks. | 太好了 那她就欠我们400美金了 |
| [12:12] | We get the kid back. | 而且孩子还能回来了 |
| [12:13] | No deal. | 没门 |
| [12:14] | I’ll handle it. | 我来解决 |
| [12:16] | My sister, my problem. | 我的妹妹 我的问题 |
| [12:18] | My holiday! | 还是我的节日呢 |
| [12:23] | Oh! That’s the kids pulling up right now. | 孩子们刚停好车 |
| [12:24] | – Just act normal. – I was born normal. | -表现正常一点 -我生来就很正常 |
| [12:26] | Not really. They said I came out with bangs. | 不对 他们说我出生时自带刘海 |
| [12:29] | Hey. Now all we have to do is stick the landing. | 现在我们只要口径一致就行了 |
| [12:31] | Don’t blow it by acting weird. | 别行为怪异露出破绽 |
| [12:35] | – Oh! I missed you! – Buddy! | -我很想你 -伙计 |
| [12:37] | Oh, how was the drive?! | 自驾游怎么样 |
| [12:39] | Oh, it was great. | 很不错 |
| [12:40] | – Yeah. – Yeah? | -没错 -是吗 |
| [12:41] | We would have been here a lot earlier, | 我们本该很早就到的 |
| [12:43] | but there was a ton of traffic on… | 但是路上太堵了… |
| [12:45] | A-America. | 美国路上 |
| [12:47] | What do you say we go find Grandpa, huh? | 我们去找外公怎么样 |
| [12:48] | – Yes. – Here we go. Let’s go. | -好呀 -去吧 一起去吧 |
| [12:50] | So, uh, good week? | 这周过得好吗 |
| [12:53] | Same. | 我也一样 |
| [12:58] | – Oh, my God. They’re talking. – Are they? | -天啊 他们在聊天 -是吗 |
| [13:01] | All right, you chatterboxes. | 好了 你们俩话唠 |
| [13:02] | Let’s get this party started, huh? | 我们开始派对吧 |
| [13:04] | Yeah, it’s almost 4:00. | 是啊 都快4点了 |
| [13:05] | 1:00. | 1点 |
| [13:08] | That was great. | 做得真不错 |
| [13:09] | – Really? – No. | -真的吗 -假的 |
| [13:10] | But that’s how you lie. | 但你说谎就这样 |
| [13:11] | Go splash some water on your face. | 去洗把脸吧 |
| [13:13] | Hey, guys. | 大家好 |
| [13:14] | Hi! How are you? | 你怎么样 |
| [13:15] | Hi. Where are Cam and Lily? | 小卡和莉莉在哪里 |
| [13:17] | Uh, they’re still at the farm. | 他们还在农场 |
| [13:19] | I got banished. | 我被驱逐出场了 |
| [13:20] | Sounds like you’re ramping up to a story, | 你好像有很多话要说 |
| [13:21] | but I got some stuff going on, so… | 但我还有些事要处理 所以… |
| [13:23] | Okay. Good to be home. | 好吧 回家”太好了” |
| [13:24] | Okay, so Cam’s grandmother, the one who called me a sissy, | 好吧 小卡的奶奶 那个叫我娘炮的人 |
| [13:27] | she died. | 她死了 |
| [13:28] | And I — I was alone with her when it happened, | 而我恰好在她去世的那一刻跟她独处 |
| [13:30] | and the family thinks that I nudged it along. | 然后全家人都以为是我推波助澜的 |
| [13:34] | – Cam’s grandma died? – Oh, my God. | -小卡的奶奶死了 -我的天啊 |
| [13:36] | You still do that thing where you smile | 你还是这样 只要一说到死亡 |
| [13:38] | whenever you talk about death. | 你就会开始微笑 |
| [13:39] | It’s just a coping mechanism. It’s gonna pass. | 这只是一种应对机制 很快就会好 |
| [13:41] | You’ve been doing it since I was 10 years old | 从我十岁 我们在后院 |
| [13:43] | and we buried my hamster in the backyard. | 埋我的仓鼠时 你就这么笑了 |
| [13:44] | His name was Whiskers. | 他叫美髯公 |
| [13:46] | Can you be a human being for one second? | 你能当一秒钟人类吗 |
| [13:49] | Okay? | 能做到吗 |
| [13:50] | So, Cam totally took his family’s side | 在他们全家都针对我的时候 |
| [13:52] | when they all turned against me. | 小卡完全站在他家人那一边 |
| [13:53] | Well, that’s just a reflex. | 那不过是习惯使然 |
| [13:55] | You always take your family’s side. | 你也总是站在你家人的这一边 |
| [13:56] | Oh, come on. Where is that written? | 得了吧 什么时候的事 |
| [13:57] | Remember when you first brought Cam home | 还记得你第一次带小卡回家 |
| [13:59] | and I privately said to you, | 然后我私下跟你说 |
| [14:00] | “You might want to move on from this one,” | “你最好再考虑要不要换一个” |
| [14:02] | and Dad said, “I thought you liked men”? | 然后爸说 “我还以为你喜欢纯爷们”呢 |
| [14:04] | And then when Cam thought | 然后当小卡以为 |
| [14:05] | he was picking up on us not liking him, | 他发现到我们不喜欢他时 |
| [14:07] | you told Cam he was crazy. | 你就跟小卡说他疯了 |
| [14:09] | I guess I did do that, huh? | 我好像真是这么做了 |
| [14:12] | God, you and Dad are mean. | 天啊 你和爸可真毒啊 |
| [14:13] | Aww. Says the murderer. | 你个杀人凶手还有脸说了 |
| [14:17] | Gloria, we can’t sit around doing nothing. Call Sonia. | 歌洛莉亚 我们不能干坐在这 打给桑娅吧 |
| [14:20] | Tell her to bring Manny and the cookies to a neutral place, | 让她带着曼尼和曲奇到一个双方同意的地方 |
| [14:23] | and we’ll make the exchange. | 然后我们来完成这笔交易 |
| [14:24] | Why would I make an exchange? We have all the leverage. | 为什么我要交易 我们拥有一切筹码 |
| [14:27] | She has your son. | 她手上有你儿子 |
| [14:29] | What is she gonna do? Raise Manny? | 她能怎么 抚养曼尼吗 |
| [14:30] | Don’t worry. He’s going to be fine. | 别担心 他会没事的 |
| [14:32] | There’s got to be a better way. | 肯定还有更好的方法 |
| [14:34] | My parents will be worried sick. | 我父母一定会担心死的 |
| [14:39] | Why does she want your sauce business, anyway? | 话说回来 她为什么想抢你的辣酱生意 |
| [14:41] | Well, maybe she has a reason to think | 或许她有理由认为 |
| [14:43] | that it should be partly hers. | 这生意理应有她的一杯羹 |
| [14:45] | My late aunt | 我已故的阿姨 |
| [14:46] | gave that hot-sauce recipe to both of us. | 将那份辣酱秘方传给了我们姐妹二人 |
| [14:48] | Not just Gloria. | 而不是歌洛莉亚一个人 |
| [14:49] | Sonia didn’t care about the recipe. | 当时桑娅根本不在意那份秘方 |
| [14:50] | She was very lazy. | 她以前可懒了 |
| [14:51] | I said, “Maybe I’ll go to America and sell the sauce. | 我当时说 “也许我会去美国卖辣酱 |
| [14:55] | Try to make something of myself.” | 试着闯出自己的一片天地” |
| [14:56] | So I gently talked her out of it. | 所以我很婉转地劝她放弃 |
| [14:59] | She told me my idea was stupid — | 她说我的主意蠢爆了 |
| [15:01] | just like all my ideas. | 就像我所有的主意一样蠢 |
| [15:02] | And then I changed my mind, and I did her dream. | 然后我改变了主意 实现了她的梦想 |
| [15:05] | What is she so mad about? | 她有什么可生气的 |
| [15:07] | I’m sorry to involve you in this feud. | 我很抱歉把你牵扯进这场夙怨 |
| [15:09] | It’s okay. | 没关系 |
| [15:10] | I’m actually starting to see your side of this. | 其实我开始明白你这边的辛酸了 |
| [15:12] | Thank you. | 谢谢你 |
| [15:13] | As long as this isn’t that thing | 只要这不是那种 |
| [15:14] | where the person gets kidnapped and then — | 被绑架的人爱上绑匪的情况就好 |
| [15:16] | Why am only now noticing how beautiful you are? | 为何我到今时今日才注意到你是如此美丽 |
| [15:20] | Ay, dios mio. | 我的天 |
| [15:23] | Surprise! | 惊喜 |
| [15:24] | Happy Father’s Day! | 父亲节快乐 |
| [15:26] | Wait — you guys flew in? | 等等 你们特意飞回来的吗 |
| [15:27] | Yeah, I just wanted us to all be together today. | 是的 我希望咱们今天能一起过 |
| [15:30] | In spite of your thoughtlessness and insensitivity. | 尽管你做事不过脑又欠考虑 |
| [15:33] | Okay, those mean the same thing, but okay. | 那两个词是一个意思 不过随便吧 |
| [15:34] | Look, I just want you to know | 我只想让你知道 |
| [15:35] | I understand why you took your family’s side. | 我明白你为什么选择站在你家人那边 |
| [15:37] | And I am sorry I put you in that position. | 还有我很抱歉让你处在两难的境地 |
| [15:39] | Oh, I appreciate that, Mitchell. | 谢谢你 米奇尔 |
| [15:40] | I’m so sorry for your loss. | 节哀顺变 |
| [15:43] | Can I get our gifts out of the car? | 我能把我们的礼物从车里拿出来吗 |
| [15:45] | Grams left us all something in her will — | 太奶奶在遗嘱里给我们都留了东西 |
| [15:47] | even you. | 连你都有 |
| [15:48] | She left me something! Aww. | 她居然给我留了一份 |
| [15:50] | Even though you’re stubborn and pigheaded. | 尽管你又固执又顽固 |
| [15:52] | Okay, again — Oh… | 你又用俩同义的… 算了 |
| [15:56] | Manny’s here. | 曼尼回来了 |
| [15:57] | I had to bring him back. | 我不得不把他送回来 |
| [15:58] | He was driving me crazy with his googly eyes. | 我快被他那双大圆眼瞪疯了 |
| [16:00] | My eyes are but lifeless orbs compared to — | 与你的明眸相比 我的这不过是毫无生气的肉球 |
| [16:02] | Yeah, go get me a beer. | 行了 去给我拿瓶啤酒 |
| [16:04] | How dare you take my son. | 你胆敢抢走我儿子 |
| [16:06] | How dare you take my business model. | 你胆敢抢走我的商业模式 |
| [16:07] | Guys, we have a party going on. | 二位 家里还开着派对呢 |
| [16:09] | Let’s take it over here. | 咱移驾到这边来吵 |
| [16:10] | Now, Gloria, you have admitted yourself | 歌洛莉亚 你自己也承认 |
| [16:12] | that you have a history of stealing things from this one here. | 你有专从这姑娘那偷东西的黑历史 |
| [16:14] | Oh, here we go. | 又来了 |
| [16:15] | Sonia’s perfect, | 桑娅多完美 |
| [16:16] | and Gloria can’t do anything right! | 而歌洛莉亚干啥啥不行 |
| [16:18] | You sound just like my father! | 你这话听起来像我父亲一样 |
| [16:20] | Hold on. | 等等 |
| [16:21] | Are you saying that all this | 你是说多年来这些争执 |
| [16:22] | is about some weird competition over your father? | 都只是要争父亲宠爱的诡异竞争吗 |
| [16:25] | This is why you sabotage my whole life? | 这就是你毁我一生的原因吗 |
| [16:27] | Because Papa loved me more? | 因为爸爸爱我多过你 |
| [16:29] | Don’t love that. | 我可不爱当你们老爸 |
| [16:31] | Oh, my God. I guess so. | 我的天 好像是这样 |
| [16:33] | I can’t believe it. | 真让我难以置信 |
| [16:34] | You are jealous of me. | 你也会嫉妒我 |
| [16:36] | Just in that one area. | 只在这方面而已 |
| [16:38] | But I shouldn’t treat you badly because Papa choose you. | 但我不该因为爸爸专宠你就对你不好 |
| [16:42] | It must have been hard for a little girl. | 对一个小女孩来说肯定很难熬 |
| [16:44] | When you lose a love like that at such a young age, | 当你在如此年幼时失去那份宠爱 |
| [16:47] | you spend the rest of your life trying to replace it. | 你将用余生去寻找替代品 |
| [16:49] | Okay. | 别指我了 |
| [16:52] | Listen, if you want the hot-sauce business, | 如果你想要辣酱生意 |
| [16:55] | take it — it’s yours. | 尽管拿去 是你的了 |
| [16:56] | No, no. Your jealousy is all I need. | 不 有你的嫉妒我就心满意足了 |
| [16:58] | I want to give you something that is very precious to me. | 我想把一件对我很珍贵的东西送给你 |
| [17:02] | Not Manny. | 可别是曼尼 |
| [17:03] | It’s something that I should have given you a long time ago | 那是一件我老早以前就该给你的东西 |
| [17:05] | that is gonna keep you close to Papa forever. | 能让你和爸爸的感情永远紧系在一起 |
| [17:12] | Oh! Lily, we were gonna open Grams’ gifts together! | 莉莉 我们说好一起拆奶奶的礼物 |
| [17:15] | I couldn’t wait. Grams left you a watch. | 我等不及了 太奶奶给你留了一块表 |
| [17:17] | Oh! The note says, | 信里说 |
| [17:18] | “Your grandpa tore it right off of | “这是你爷爷从一个 |
| [17:20] | a dead kraut’s wrist.” | 死德国佬的手腕上拽下来的” |
| [17:21] | Oh, that’s so sweet! | 太感人了 |
| [17:23] | And I got these. | 我的礼物是这些 |
| [17:26] | “Enjoy all my old lipstick, | “我所有旧唇膏你就好好用吧 |
| [17:27] | you big sissy.” | 你个大娘炮” |
| [17:29] | Why did she call me a sissy? | 她为什么要叫我娘炮 |
| [17:30] | I — She doesn’t — | 我 她不是那意思 |
| [17:31] | Oh! We’re opening Grams’ gifts, huh? | 我们这就拆奶奶的礼物了吗 |
| [17:33] | – This must be yours. – Okay. | -这份肯定是给你的 -好 |
| [17:34] | Let — You know, we can do this later. | 我们 我们也不是非现在拆不可 |
| [17:37] | You opened yours. | 你都把你的拆了 |
| [17:37] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [17:39] | “When Cam first brought you here, | “当小卡初次带你回家来时 |
| [17:40] | I thought I’d never get used to you. | 我以为我永远都会看你不顺眼 |
| [17:42] | I was raised to hate your kind. | 我从小就被教育仇恨你这种人 |
| [17:45] | But seeing how happy you make my grandson, | 但当我见到你让我孙子那么开心 |
| [17:47] | I… couldn’t help but come to care for you.” | 我也忍不住开始在乎你” |
| [17:51] | Cam. I was wrong about her. | 小卡 是我误会她了 |
| [17:53] | Yes. You were. | 是啊 是你误会了 |
| [17:54] | Now, let’s put this someplace safe. | 我们把信拿去收好吧 |
| [17:55] | No, no, wait. There’s more. There’s more. | 别 等等 还有呢还有呢 |
| [17:56] | “Who else but you | “除了你还有谁 |
| [17:58] | should inherit my beloved Oriental fan? | 更适合继承我挚爱的东方扇子 |
| [18:01] | I hope it don’t make you homesick.” | 我希望它不会让你太想家” |
| [18:03] | She said I was gonna get that fan. | 她本来说要把扇子给我的 |
| [18:05] | Well, you know, she did get very stupid near the end. | 她临终前脑子非常不灵光了 |
| [18:07] | Okay, well, gift time seems to be over. | 好了 拆礼物时间到此为止 |
| [18:09] | Okay, Cam. This is Lily’s gift, isn’t it? | 小卡 这是给莉莉的礼物对吗 |
| [18:11] | No. | 不是 |
| [18:12] | Oh! So you’re the big sissy! | 原来你才是那个大娘炮 |
| [18:16] | Here. | 给你 |
| [18:18] | Her lipsticks! | 她的口红 |
| [18:20] | Oh. I suppose you’re gonna read into this, too. | 我猜你又要多想了吧 |
| [18:24] | Wow, those sausages smell fantastic! | 这些香肠闻起来好香 |
| [18:28] | You all right, Dad? | 你还好吗 老爸 |
| [18:30] | Yeah, I guess I could say a few words. | 还行 我不介意说我几句话 |
| [18:31] | I appreciate you guys honoring me on this great holiday. | 很感谢你们在这个伟大节日向我表示敬意 |
| [18:36] | But I’m not the only dad here. | 但我不是在座唯一的父亲 |
| [18:40] | You three lucked out a little bit in that department, right? | 你们三个生在那个家真是走运 对吗 |
| [18:43] | We sure did. | 确实是 |
| [18:44] | Best job I ever had. | 我此生最好的工作 |
| [18:47] | Raising two dynamite ladies | 养大两个非同凡响的女儿 |
| [18:48] | and the…best buddy a guy could ever ask for. | 还有夫复何求的最好的哥们 |
| [18:53] | Oh, what is with this? | 这是什么 |
| [18:54] | – No crazy bread this year? – Yeah! | -今年没有疯狂面包吗 -对啊 |
| [18:55] | We stayed in New York for five more days. | 我们在纽约又待了五天 |
| [18:57] | And I saw David Blaine in jello, | 我看到大卫·布莱恩在果冻里 |
| [18:58] | and I’ve been dying to tell you, but they wouldn’t let me! | 我一直超想告诉你 但她们不让 |
| [19:00] | You’re a disgrace. | 你真是个废物 |
| [19:01] | Oh, my God! Your mother and I — | 天啊 你们妈妈和我 |
| [19:03] | Are furious! Furious! | 非常愤怒 愤怒 |
| [19:05] | You were in New York this whole time, | 你们一直待在纽约 |
| [19:05] | and you didn’t say anything — | 却什么都没告诉… |
| [19:06] | Now, I don’t know what can of worms this is, | 听着 我不知道这一团糟是怎么回事 |
| [19:09] | but I know this is my day, | 但我知道这是我的节日 |
| [19:10] | and I want you to calm down. | 我要你们都冷静下来 |
| [19:13] | Is that a phone in your pocket? | 你口袋里有个手机吗 |
| [19:16] | That’s my phone. | 这是我的手机 |
| [19:17] | I’ve been looking for this since yesterday. | 我从昨天就在找这个手机了 |
| [19:19] | I steal now. | 我会偷东西了 |
| [19:22] | Phil, did you text me? | 菲尔 你给我发短信了吗 |
| [19:23] | Oh, yeah, um, claire asked me to send you a picture | 是的 克莱尔让我给你发一张 |
| [19:25] | of the closet in our New York hotel. | 我们在纽约住的酒店里衣柜的照片 |
| [19:27] | Oh, my God! Is this you naked?! | 老天 这是你赤身裸体吗 |
| [19:29] | What? | 什么 |
| [19:30] | Why? | 为什么 |
| [19:31] | Honey, will you send my dad a picture of that closet | 亲爱的 你能给我爸发张衣柜的照片吗 |
| [19:33] | before I forget? | 免得我忘了 |
| [19:38] | Oh! No. | 天啊 不要 |
| [19:40] | Hey. What’s all the — | 你们在吵什… |
| [19:41] | O…kay. No, thanks. | 好吧 不要 谢谢 |
| [19:42] | I already have confusing feelings for one relative. | 我已经对一个亲戚产生不明情愫了 |
| [19:44] | All…right. Can this just be done now? | 好吧 这事就到此为止 |
| [19:48] | How did you even — | 你是怎么… |
| [19:49] | Wait a minute. It is raining in the background. | 等等 照片背景在下雨 |
| [19:51] | But it didn’t rain while we were all there. | 但我们一起在纽约时根本没下雨 |
| [19:53] | It only rained in New York yesterday. | 纽约只有昨天才下了场雨 |
| [19:54] | Oh, my God! You stayed in New York without us! | 天啊 你们留在纽约居然不带我们 |
| [19:57] | We’re liars! | 我们说谎了 |
| [19:58] | I’m so sorry. | 对不起 |
| [19:59] | No, it’s my fault. I — I kept the lie going. | 不 是我的错 是我一直撒谎 |
| [20:02] | Okay, are we really glossing over the fact | 我们真的要忽略 |
| [20:03] | that I figured something out? | 我也能察觉出猫腻这事吗 |
| [20:04] | I’ll tell you what else we’re glossing over — | 我来告诉你们还忽略了什么 |
| [20:06] | how bad you all are at Father’s Day. | 你们在父亲节表现多糟糕 |
| [20:08] | I’ve got one son who’s a kleptomaniac, | 我一个儿子有偷盗癖 |
| [20:10] | the other who’s in love with his own aunt — | 另一个喜欢上自己的亲姨 |
| [20:12] | creepy even by your standards — | 即使照你的标准也太恶心人 |
| [20:14] | and a daughter who I was forced to see naked | 还有一个女儿 让我被迫看了她 |
| [20:16] | as the day she was born. | 像刚出生时赤裸的样子 |
| [20:18] | Come on, Cam. Kiss me like the sissy I am! | 来吧 小卡 来亲我这个娘炮 |
| [20:20] | – Right on cue. – Oh, God. | -来的真是时候 -天啊 |
| [20:22] | Happy Father’s Day to me. | 祝我自己父亲节快乐 |
| [20:23] | Icing on the cake — I just found out | 再来个锦上添花 我刚发现 |
| [20:25] | my own wife has major daddy issues. | 我的妻子有严重的恋父情结 |
| [20:28] | Makes me wonder if that’s the whole reason she’s with me. | 让我不禁想这才是她和我一起的真正原因 |
| [20:30] | Dad, come on. | 老爸 别乱说 |
| [20:31] | We may have ruined your day, yes, | 我们或许毁了你的节日 我承认 |
| [20:33] | but now you’re just spiraling. | 但你现在只是在穿凿附会 |
| [20:35] | I mean, every relationship has its issues, | 每一段感情都有各自的问题 |
| [20:37] | and Gloria adores you! | 但歌洛莉亚超级喜欢你 |
| [20:39] | Take the win. | 享受这胜利吧 |
| [20:41] | You think? | 你们真这么想吗 |
| [20:42] | Papa was so handsome. | 爸爸真的好英俊 |
| [20:45] | – Yes! – Yes. Yes. Yes! | -真的 -真的 |
| [20:50] | All right! | 好啦 |
| [20:55] | You each have a sausage on your plate | 你们每人盘子里都有一根香肠 |
| [20:57] | I selected based on your individual personality and temperament. | 我是根据你们每人的性格气质挑选的 |
| [21:00] | Is this blood sausage? Because mine’s pink. | 这是血肠吗 为什么我的是粉色 |
| [21:02] | Oh, my mine’s pink, t– | 我的也是粉红色… |
| [21:03] | Oh. Very funny, Dad. | 很好笑 老爸 |
| [21:05] | Now take a bite of bread, | 咬一口面包 |
| [21:06] | a sip of water to cleanse the palate. | 抿一口水 净化一下味蕾 |
| [21:08] | Mine smells spicy. | 我的闻起来很辣 |
| [21:10] | Show of hands. Who heard me say “Smell your sausage”? | 来举个手 谁听到我说”闻闻香肠”了 |
| [21:12] | The box said these pigs were massaged daily, | 盒子上说这些猪每天被按摩 |
| [21:14] | then killed from behind to | 然后从背后被杀 |
| [21:15] | keep the panic hormone from tainting the meat. | 免得让恐慌荷尔蒙污染了肉质 |
| [21:17] | They were murdered from behind? | 它们从背后被杀 |
| [21:19] | The three things I want you to pay attention to | 我要你们注意三件事 |
| [21:21] | are bouquet, texture, and finish. | 香气 口感还有余味 |
| [21:23] | You may begin. | 你们可以开始了 |
| [21:25] | Can I have some ketchup? | 能给我来点番茄酱吗 |
| [21:26] | We are done here. | 派对结束 |