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摩登家庭(Modern Family)第8季第7集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计

Posted on 2024年7月12日 By jubentaici_movie_user 摩登家庭(Modern Family)第8季第7集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计无评论
目录
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时间 英文 中文
[00:02] Howdy! 好啊
[00:03] Welcome to the Thanksgiving country jamboree! 欢迎来到感恩节乡村欢宴
[00:06] We got the whole Dunphy clan, 邓菲一家都来了
[00:08] Claire, Phil, Luke, Alex and — 克莱尔 菲尔 卢克 艾丽克斯和
[00:09] well, and who is this happy farmhand? 这位开心的农场工人是谁
[00:13] I’m Jerry. 我是杰瑞
[00:14] Jerry used to live next door. 杰瑞以前住我们隔壁
[00:16] He’s been going through a brutal divorce for years, 受一场残酷的离婚折磨几年了
[00:18] and he was gonna spend Thanksgiving alone. 本来他要一个人过感恩节
[00:20] Phil thought it’d be a good idea 菲尔觉得应该让他
[00:21] if he spent the day with a happy, functional family. 跟一个运转良好的快乐家庭度过今天
[00:25] We couldn’t find one, so he’s coming with us. 我们找不到那样的家庭 所以他跟我们过
[00:27] So, where’s Haley? 海莉呢
[00:28] She’s with Rainer. 她跟雷纳在一起
[00:29] They’ve been seeing a lot of each other, which is great. 他们最近经常见面 这挺好的
[00:31] Funny thing is, he was my friend first, 有趣的是 开始他是我的朋友
[00:33] but now I never see him. Or Haley. 但现在我都见不到他了 也见不到海莉
[00:35] – Phil. – It’s what everybody’s thinking. -菲尔 -大家就是这么想啊
[00:36] I don’t want people walking on eggshells 我不想让大家如履薄冰
[00:38] ’cause he was my friend first, but now I never see him. 因为他本来是我朋友 但现在我都见不到他
[00:40] Or Haley. 或是海莉
[00:41] I’m only allowed to see my children once a week. 我一周只被允许探望一次我的孩子们
[00:43] I hardly know them. 我都跟他们不太熟
[00:45] Oh, well, Clark’s head of the math club, 克拉克是数学俱乐部的主席
[00:46] and Tina’s turned into a bit of a slut. 缇娜成了个小荡妇
[00:49] Thanks for the update. 谢谢你的新资讯
[00:51] – Okay, there they are! – Hi! -他们来了 -好啊
[00:53] Don’t y’all look as pretty as a peach pie 在周日的下午 你们看起来真像
[00:55] on a Sunday afternoon? 桃子派一样动人啊
[00:57] For the love of God, 我的老天啊
[00:57] this is the last thing I need today. 今天真心不想见到这样
[00:59] Hey, Flavor Flav, what’s up with the giant watch? 好啊 风味哥[歌手] 怎么戴这么大一块表
[01:02] It’s my doctor being a pain in the butt. 都怪我的医生烦人
[01:03] One high reading, I got this thing 一次血压过高 我就得
[01:05] taking my blood pressure all day. 整天戴着这玩意儿测血压
[01:07] Wait, are you okay? 等等 你没事吧
[01:08] No. He needs to quit cigars and the terrible food. 有事 他得戒掉雪茄和垃圾食品
[01:11] Last week, I caught him in the garage 上周我抓到他在车库里
[01:13] eating a Polish sausage. 偷吃波兰香肠
[01:14] What a man does behind his water heater 男人在热水器后方做的事
[01:16] is his own business. 是他自己的私事
[01:17] Don’t worry about it. I’ve got it beat. 别担心 我自有妙方
[01:19] Here’s my trick. 我的秘诀是这样
[01:20] As soon as this thing goes off, 这玩意儿开始叫时
[01:21] I start singing sweet ’70s soft rock 我就开始唱70年代的慢摇滚
[01:24] to mellow myself out. 使自己放松
[01:25] Those songs could do anything. 这些歌是万能的
[01:27] Seals and Crofts came on, 席尔和克罗夫开始唱
[01:29] lady’s bell bottoms came off. 女人的喇叭裤脱光光
[01:32] – Well… – Hey, y’all. -好吧 -大家好啊
[01:33] Anybody have a hankering for a hush puppy? 有人想吃油炸玉米饼吗
[01:35] Oh, geez. 天啊
[01:37] * Summer breeze * * 夏日微风 *
[01:39] * Makes me feel fine * * 让我舒爽 *
[01:41] What is going on here? 这到底是在搞什么鬼
[01:41] * Blowing through the jas- * * 吹动茉莉花 *
[01:43] It’s a Thanksgiving jamboree! 这是乡村感恩节欢宴嘛
[01:44] We have bales of hay. We have a cider press. 我们有一捆捆干草 苹果榨汁机
[01:46] Ooh, we’re even deep-frying a turkey. 甚至还有油炸火鸡
[01:48] And you’re on-board with this? 你同意这一切吗
[01:49] Yes! Come on, it’s good country fun. 是啊 这可是乡村乐趣
[01:52] No. 不
[01:52] For Cam, maybe. 对小卡来说 也许有趣
[01:54] What is happening? Is he hitting you? 怎么回事 他打你了吗
[01:57] No. 没有
[01:58] You did something, didn’t you? 你做了什么错事 对吧
[01:59] You did! 你做了
[01:59] I didn’t do anything. 我什么都没做
[02:01] I’m — I’m loving this, okay? 我很享受这一切 好吗
[02:04] That takes practice. 准头需要练习
[02:06] No, I am not leaving here until you tell me what you did. 不 除非你说出犯了什么事 否则我不走
[02:08] Can I get you a mason jar of Chardonnay? 要来一梅森玻璃瓶的夏敦埃酒吗
[02:10] Giddy up. 妥妥的
[02:13] Mr. Student Council President, 学生会主席先生
[02:14] have you had a chance to look at my proposal 你是否看过了我关于
[02:16] updating the honor code to address cyber-bullying? 更新网络暴力准则的建议
[02:19] One second. 稍等一下
[02:25] Why would you call me that? 你为什么要那么叫我
[02:27] Luke somehow beat me in the election for president, 卢克莫名其妙在主席竞选中赢了我
[02:30] and I still can’t get over it. 而我到现在还无法释怀
[02:31] Not to be hyperbolic, but humans are a decade away 毫不夸张地说 人类离骑在马背上
[02:34] from fighting apes on horseback. 跟人猿战斗的年代已经不远了
[02:36] You’re trying to tell me 你是想告诉我
[02:37] that there’s absolutely nothing weird going on here? 这里一切都很正常吗
[02:40] You are dressed like a character 你穿的就像乡村背景的
[02:41] out of “It’s Raining Mice and Men”. 《人鼠之间》中的角色
[02:42] I don’t know what you’re talking about, okay? 我完全不知道你在说啥
[02:44] I am enjoying this more than a farm animal 我享受这场派对可是多过享受
[02:47] missing a limb engaged in… 某次看残疾农场动物在做…
[02:50] some sort of activity. “爱”做的事呢
[02:51] Okay, I did something bad. 好吧 我做了点坏事
[02:52] I knew it. 我就知道
[02:53] Yeah, yeah, something real bad. 非常坏的事
[02:54] I need Cam in a good mood before I tell him. 我需要先把小卡哄开心了才敢告诉他
[02:56] Is it infidelity? If feels like infidelity. 你出轨了吗 听起来像是出轨了
[02:58] – I can’t say. – Hey, Mitchell? -我不能说 -米奇尔
[03:00] It’s your turn to feel the burn on the churn! 轮到你来体会搅乳桶的炽热了
[03:03] Well, then I “butter” get over there. 那我最好脚底抹”油” 冲去搅”黄油”啦
[03:06] Okay, come on! 好啊 来吧
[03:09] Hey, Dwight. 你好 德怀特
[03:10] Ma’am. 女士你好
[03:11] So, did they just happen to have this costume 所以他们这么刚好家里有
[03:13] lying around in your size? 这件符合你大小的制服吗
[03:14] Weirdly, they did. 虽然很诡异 但确实如此
[03:15] Whoa, whoa, whoa. No, Dwight 不不不 德怀特
[03:17] has one of the most important games of the season next week 下周有本赛季最重要的比赛之一
[03:19] and I can’t have you getting him sick. 我不能让你把他弄生病了
[03:21] Yeah, I’m over the mono. 我的单核细胞增多症已经好了
[03:22] But it could still be contagious, 但还是有可能有传染性
[03:23] and I have a fun costume idea for you. 而我想到一个适合你的有趣造型
[03:25] How about being an old-timey bank robber? 打扮成旧时代的银行抢匪怎么样
[03:28] You gotta cover that face before the marshal gets to town. 要在警长赶到之前把脸遮住
[03:32] Hi! Oh, what happened? 发生什么事了
[03:33] Oh, nothing, just a Korean laser peel. 没什么 就是做了个韩式激光换肤
[03:36] Hurt like hell, but once the skin regenerates, 超级疼 但是皮肤新生出来以后
[03:38] it’s gonna take ten years off these money makers. 能让我这双赚钱的手年轻十岁
[03:41] Hey! There she is. 她来了
[03:44] Thanks for dropping her off. 多谢你送她过来
[03:45] Uh, actually, Rainer’s daughter is with her mom, 其实 雷纳的女儿跟她们妈妈在一起
[03:48] so I invited him to spend Thanksgiving with us. 所以我邀请他来跟我们一起过感恩节
[03:50] I am loving this country theme! 我超爱这个乡村主题
[03:53] This reminds me of when I worked for Newscenter Twelve 让我想起当初给塔尔萨市的十二新闻台
[03:56] in Tulsa, except no one here’s bitter and drunk. 工作的日子 除了这里没有刻薄的醉汉
[04:00] Gosh, I would hate for you to feel weird, though, 我就怕你待在这里会觉得格格不入
[04:02] since this is just for family. 毕竟这可是家庭聚会
[04:04] Isn’t that our old neighbor, Jerry, 我们的老邻居杰瑞是不是
[04:05] stuffing appetizers into a ziplock? 正在往自封袋里装前菜
[04:08] You know what, Rainer, you are more than welcome to stay. 雷纳 我们很欢迎你留下
[04:11] Thank you. 谢谢
[04:12] Okay, well, I guess the main thing 好吧 我觉得最重要的是
[04:14] is all the Dunphys are here. 邓菲家的人都能齐聚在此
[04:16] Hey, Rainer, what’s the weather going to be like for tomorrow? 雷纳 明天天气会怎样
[04:17] Clear and sunny skies, highs in the mid 70s, 晴空万里 温度最高在23摄氏度左右
[04:20] but hang onto that umbrella ’cause Monday… 但伞还是不能忘了 因为周一…
[04:21] Yeah, I just needed tomorrow, 我只想知道明天的
[04:22] because that’s when we’re having our big family football game. 因为明天是我们的家庭橄榄球赛
[04:25] Remember last year? 还记得去年吗
[04:26] We ran that play? 我们用的那战术
[04:28] The Haley Mary? 海利式超远长传
[04:29] Uh, but tomorrow we’re supposed… 可是明天我们…
[04:30] To have sunny weather? Yeah, you said that. 预计是晴天吗 你说过了
[04:32] Rainer’s taking me to Cabo for the weekend. 雷纳周末要带我去卡波
[04:34] So, I had a problem. 所以我有个问题
[04:35] I wasn’t sure if my hairdryer 我不知道我的吹风机
[04:37] ran on Mexican electricity. 用墨西哥的电还能不能运转
[04:40] Oh, and telling my dad. 还有 要怎么告诉我爸
[04:42] I had two problems. 我有两个问题了
[04:56] Doctor’s call it “Hysterical impotence.” 医生把这称为”癔病性阳痿”
[04:58] There’s nothing physically wrong, per se. 就是说身体上没毛病
[05:00] But because of my divorce trauma, 但因为我离婚的创伤
[05:02] I guess I’m rewired down there. 可能影响到了我下面的小兄弟
[05:04] – I get it. – Okay, city slickers, -我懂了 -时髦都市人
[05:06] guess who has a genuine petting zoo in the backyard? 猜猜谁家后院里有个真正的爱畜乐园
[05:11] * Summer breeze makes me feel fine * * 夏日微风 让我舒爽 *
[05:15] All right! 瞧瞧
[05:19] Animals! 好多动物
[05:20] Oh, Cam, and you had the scarecrow made to look like Mitch! 卡梅隆 你还做了个长得像米奇的稻草人
[05:24] No, no, no, my mom sent that out from Missouri. 不不不 那稻草人是我妈从老家寄来的
[05:26] I grew up with that. 他从小伴着我长大
[05:27] I even learned how to dance with it. 我连跳舞都是跟他学的呢
[05:29] I guess, now that you mention it, I do have a-a type. 但经你这么一说 我貌似是有个理想型
[05:32] – Hey, what’s on this goat’s head? – That’s my big idea — -那只山羊头上是啥 -我的伟大创意
[05:34] a camera to capture everyone’s delight! 摄相机记录下大伙的快乐时光
[05:36] – Guess what I call it. – Goat-Pro? -猜猜我管这叫啥 -羊动专业摄影吗
[05:39] That’s also a…good name, yep. 你取的这名字… 也不赖
[05:42] Look, Joe. This is a goat. 看啊 乔 这是一只山羊
[05:46] Ahh, I’m scared! 我好害怕
[05:48] No, no, no, there’s nothing to be scared of. 不不不 没什么好害怕的
[05:50] That’s the way he says, “I love you.” 它就是这么跟别人说”我爱你”
[05:52] Of all the animals, this one is the one 这么多动物之中 这货的叫声
[05:54] that sounds the most like an informer being tortured. 跟告密者在被施以极刑时的惨叫最像
[05:58] I cannot have another son that is afraid of animals. 我不能再有一个怕动物的儿子
[06:01] When Manny was 5, he went to a petting zoo 曼尼五岁时 他去爱畜乐园玩
[06:03] with a backpack full of truffle popcorn. 双肩包里装满了松露爆米花
[06:06] By the time they pulled the pigs off him, 在人们终于把那些猪从他身上拽下来时
[06:08] he was only wearing one sock. 他全身上下只剩一只袜子了
[06:10] Joe, relax. 乔 放心
[06:12] Animals don’t attack people for no reason. 动物不会无故攻击人类的
[06:14] Let go of me! Oh, let go of me! 放开我 快点放开
[06:16] Run, Jerry! They do terrible things! 快逃 杰瑞 他们可会欺负人了
[06:22] Good news. 好消息
[06:23] The box of hair products we pre-shipped has arrived 我们提前寄出的洗发产品包裹
[06:25] and is waiting for us at the resort. 已经抵达度假村了
[06:27] I don’t care about our hair anymore. 我不在乎我们的头发了
[06:29] Hey! That’s crazy talk. 你这是在胡言乱语
[06:31] I still haven’t gotten up the guts to tell my parents. 我还是没足够的勇气告诉我父母
[06:33] My mom will be cool, but my dad is gonna freak out. 我妈也许能接受 但我爸一定会抓狂
[06:36] Well, I’ll tell him. 那我去告诉他
[06:37] Your dad and I are buds. 我和你爸是好哥们
[06:39] And I am excellent at delivering bad news with a smile. 而且我特擅长跟人说坏消息的同时保持微笑
[06:42] And that means the Coast Guard 这意味着海岸巡防队员
[06:44] will be spending the holidays with their families, 能回家与家人一同度过假期
[06:46] because the search has been called off. 因为此次搜索行动已被叫停
[06:49] Wow, you’re good. 你果然厉害
[06:51] Phil. Hey. 菲尔 你好
[06:53] I know we haven’t been spending enough time together lately, 我知道最近我们一直聚少离多
[06:57] but I scored this amazing villa in Cabo for the weekend, 但我在卡波预约了超赞的度假别墅过周末
[07:01] and I wanted to take a special someone. 我想带个特殊的人一起去
[07:03] Listening. 我在听
[07:04] I know you have your big family football game, 我知道你有家庭橄榄球大赛
[07:06] but it’s right on the water. Horseback riding on the beach. 但别墅紧临大海 可以在海滩上骑马
[07:09] I see us both in white shirts. 我已经看见我俩穿白衬衫策马奔腾了
[07:11] – Phil. – Claire, I know. -菲尔 -克莱尔 我知道
[07:13] It sounds like the best weekend of my life, mi amigo, 听起来像是我一生中最美好的周末 我的朋友
[07:16] but I can’t. It’s family time. 但我不能去 要享受家庭时光
[07:18] – He wants to take Haley. – Yeah. -他是想带海莉去 -没错
[07:20] Did you think I was asking you? 你以为我在邀请你吗
[07:21] What… brother can’t yank a brother’s chain? 咋啦 作为好哥们不能逗逗你玩吗
[07:24] You trippin’? 小题大做想搞事啊
[07:26] This guy! 哥们真逗
[07:28] I’ll send you some pictures. 我会给你发些照片的
[07:29] – Okay. – But not from the nude beach. Ooh! -好啊 -但在裸体沙滩拍的就不发了
[07:31] Oh, that’s funny ’cause it’s my naked daughter! 真好笑因为裸体的是我的宝贝女儿
[07:34] And you’re taking her away! 而你把她从我身边夺走了
[07:36] It’s okay. 不哭不哭
[07:40] See? They like it when you pet them. 看见没 它们很喜欢被你抚摸
[07:43] And when you look into their eyes, 如果你凝视着它们的眼睛
[07:45] you can see that they’re very smart. 就会发现它们其实很聪明
[07:47] They have a very deep soul. 它们也有内心和灵魂
[07:49] What’s his name? 他叫什么名字
[07:51] Name? It’s a goat. Just touch it. 一只山羊还要什么名字 让你摸你就摸
[07:54] I know it’s a bummer, Haley going to Cabo. 我知道海莉去卡波让你很郁闷
[07:56] I wouldn’t salt those margarita glasses just yet. 她去不去还不一定呢
[07:59] Once I remind her how much fun Thanksgiving weekend is here, 等我让她记起家里的感恩节周末多好玩
[08:02] she’s not going anywhere. 她就哪也不想去了
[08:04] Well, I hope it goes better than 希望效果会好过你上次那个
[08:05] your big presentation on why the Ice Capades “白雪溜冰团比科切拉音乐节更酷”的
[08:07] were cooler than Coachella. 推销大作战
[08:11] Hey, honey. 宝贝
[08:12] I heard you had some tentative travel plans. 我听说你们计划着要去旅行
[08:15] Actually, we just checked in for our flight online. 其实我们刚刚在网上确认了航班
[08:17] Thanks for being so cool about this. 谢谢你在这件事上这么开明
[08:19] Of course. Mmm. 当然
[08:22] Potable water. 有饮用水真好
[08:24] We take this stuff for granted stateside, don’t we? 咱美国人都对干净的水源习以为常了对吧
[08:27] It’s a five-star resort. 我们去的是五星级度假村
[08:28] I’m sure we’ll be fine. 我很肯定水会很干净的
[08:29] Smell those side dishes. 闻闻那些小吃的香气
[08:31] They’re gonna be even better tomorrow 等到明天赛前野餐时
[08:32] at the post-game picnic. 味道肯定更好
[08:33] You know what’s not a picnic? 你知道有什么不像野餐一样放松吗
[08:34] Putting on your bedroom slipper 在卧室里穿上拖鞋时
[08:36] and getting an ankle full of scorpion. 发现脚上爬满了蝎子
[08:37] Thanks, Dad. I’ll take my chances. 谢了 老爸 我愿意冒这个险
[08:39] That’s what you said about Coachella, 你上次去科切拉音乐节前也是这么说的
[08:40] and you missed Kristi Yamaguchi doing a triple twist lift 而你错过了克丽斯蒂·山口和小蟋蟀杰明尼
[08:43] with Jiminy Cricket. 做转体三周托举
[08:47] – What? – You are not allowed to eat those with your blood pressure. -怎么了 -你血压那么高不能吃这个
[08:50] Don’t worry. These chips won’t show up 别担心 这些薯片的影响
[08:51] for a couple of weeks, and by then I’ll have switched doctors. 几周后才能看出来 到时我已经换医生了
[08:53] Sorry, Gloria’s orders. 不好意思 歌洛莉亚下令了
[08:55] Hey, Jay, looks like you could use a little square dance. 杰 看起来你需要跳跳方块舞放松一下
[08:58] That would be about the last… 那是我最不想做的…
[08:59] * Ho, grab your partner, swing ’em ’round * * 拉住你的舞伴 转个圈 *
[09:01] * Put on your best suit and go to town * * 换上最好的衣裳 进城逛 *
[09:03] Cam, why are you… 小卡 你为什么
[09:03] * Eat some corn and ride a horse * * 吃点玉米 把马骑 *
[09:05] * Are we having fun? Why, yes, of course * * 问俺们爽不 当然爽 *
[09:07] That’s it! I’m out of here! 够了 我要走人了
[09:09] I need some aspirin. I’m going to a pharmacy. 我要去药房买点阿司匹林
[09:11] I’m coming too. No reason. 我也去 没什么理由
[09:13] Apparently, you don’t need a reason to leave your family. 这年头抛下家人貌似是不需要理由的
[09:16] I’ll go too. I’m out of ramen and Xanax. 我也去 我的方便面和抗抑郁药不够了
[09:19] What’s happening? 这是什么情况
[09:21] This is what we in the weather game 我们天气预报圈里管这叫
[09:22] refer to as a “High-pressure system.” “高压[力]系统”
[09:29] This reminds me of the time 此情此景让我想起
[09:30] I walked in on you watching “Top Gun”. 我撞见你边看《壮志凌云》边”撸黄油棍”
[09:32] You need to stop telling that story. 你别再提起那件事了
[09:33] Whatever you did to Cam, 无论你对小卡做了什么
[09:35] it can’t have been that bad. 肯定没糟到那份上
[09:36] And it is not worth this. 也肯定不值得你这么牺牲
[09:39] Maybe you’re right. Maybe I’m worrying too much. 也许你是对的 也许我过于担忧了
[09:41] You are. 没错
[09:43] I gave Cam’s Fizbo costume away. 我把小卡的费兹波小丑服送人了
[09:44] Oh, my God, he’s gonna kill everyone in the house. 我的天 这里即将发生灭门惨案
[09:46] The truck was here, and there were so many boxes, 当时卡车已经到了 各种纸箱子混在一起
[09:48] and you know how excited I get about a deduction. 你也知道我一扔旧货就会兴奋得昏了头
[09:51] Listen to me. 听我说
[09:52] He’s not going to believe that this was an accident. 他不会相信那只是意外的
[09:54] You can never, ever tell him. 你永远永远不能告诉他
[09:56] He’s gonna know it’s missing. 他会发现衣服不见了的
[09:57] I mean, he pulls it out for everything. 屁大点活动他都要拿出来穿
[09:59] Birthday parties, brunches, hot yoga… 生日派对 早午餐 高温瑜珈
[10:03] I-I need to wait for the right moment. 我得等到时机对了再说
[10:05] There’s not gonna be a right moment. 时机永远也不会对的
[10:07] Hey, ain’t nothing in the world that can get me down 每当我抱着小猪崽
[10:09] when I’m holding a little piglet. 这世上再也没有什么能把我打倒了
[10:11] Look at her! 看看她
[10:12] It’s time. Sweetie? 是时候了 亲爱的
[10:14] – Don’t do it. – Don’t do what? -不要 -不要什么
[10:15] I need you to sit down for this. 我需要你坐下听
[10:17] Take a bale. 坐在草包上
[10:18] Think of the children. 想想孩子们
[10:19] Lily, Dwight. 莉莉 德怀特
[10:23] I gave Fizbo away. 我把菲茨宝送人了
[10:29] – What? – I know how much that costume meant to you, -什么 -我知道那套衣服对你意义深远
[10:31] and I am so, so sorry. 我真的非常非常抱歉
[10:36] Well, it’s a lot to process. 这需要好好消化
[10:38] I know. Accidents do happen. 我理解人难免会犯错
[10:41] And I am holding a little piglet. 而且我正抱着一只小猪崽
[10:44] I forgive you. 我原谅你了
[10:46] Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a turkey to deep fry. 如果你们不介意的话 我要去油炸火鸡了
[10:50] Here. Hold Connor. 给 抱着康纳
[10:51] – No, I… Okay. -不…好吧
[10:56] I married the sweetest, 我嫁给了这个星球上
[10:57] most understanding man on the planet. 最温柔最善解人意的男人
[10:58] Or he did something even worse to you 或者他对你做了甚至更糟糕的事情
[11:01] and wants to get you in a good mood. 只想让你有个好心情
[11:03] No. 不会的
[11:04] Yes! 肯定是
[11:09] You don’t have to cover your face. 你不用遮住你的脸
[11:10] I don’t care what Coach Cam says about mono. 我不在乎小卡教练说的传染性接吻病
[11:12] You’re way too pretty. 而且你的可爱我没抵抗力
[11:14] Oh, no. 别这么说
[11:16] I mean, listen, I’m flattered, 我有些受宠若惊
[11:18] but even though you are so, so tall 但虽然你长这么 那么高
[11:24] you are in high school and I’m… 你还在上高中 而我
[11:26] Very beautiful. 超美
[11:28] Well… 好吧
[11:30] I was going to say, “in college,” but thanks. 我本来要说上大学 但还是谢谢你
[11:34] Stop it, oh, my God! 别这样 天哪
[11:37] Ugh! Dad is killing me. 爸爸要把我逼死了
[11:38] He’s trying to guilt trip me out of going to Cabo. 他企图让我感到愧疚然后不去卡波
[11:40] When is he gonna let me live my own life? 他什么时候才能让我过自己的生活
[11:41] Maybe when you stop living out of his basement 也许等你不再住在他的地下室
[11:43] and eating all of his food. 不再吃他的东西时
[11:44] You’re right. I am a victim. 你说得对 我就是受害者
[11:49] I should get this tiny mouthwash for Haley. 我该买这个迷你漱口水给海莉
[11:51] It’s the abandon-your-family travel size. 这是抛弃家人去旅行装
[11:53] Oh, dear God. 我的天
[11:55] I know — Corn Nuts, two-for-one sale. 我知道 炸玉米粒 这时候在买一送一
[11:58] I feel like God’s giving me the middle finger. 我感觉上帝在对我竖中指
[12:00] No. That’s my wife’s divorce lawyer. 不 那是我妻子的离婚律师
[12:04] I can’t believe it. 真不敢相信
[12:06] That bastard was my ex’s lawyer. 那个混蛋也是我前妻的律师
[12:08] Are you kidding me? 你在开玩笑吗
[12:09] I bet he’s here to buy some extra-small condoms, 我打赌他是来这买超小号避孕套
[12:13] the kind that they keep behind the counter. 需要找药剂师买的那种
[12:16] Shut up. 少啰嗦
[12:17] I keep having this dream that he’s dying of thirst 我一直做梦他快要渴死在沙漠里
[12:20] in the desert, and I hit him with my car. 然后我开车撞飞他
[12:21] -I thought you were over it. -I thought I was. -我以为你已经走出来了 -我本来也以为
[12:23] Let’s get out of here before my cuff explodes. 趁我的手铐还没炸开 我们快走吧
[12:25] Yeah, he already ruined my family. 他已经毁了我的家庭
[12:27] I don’t want him to ruin my Thanksgiving too. 我不想他再毁了我的感恩节
[12:30] No. 不
[12:33] We’re not going anywhere. 我们哪也不去
[12:35] It’s time someone stood up 是时候有人站出来
[12:36] to the weasels who sweep into our lives, 对抗那些堂而皇之闯进我们生活
[12:37] break up our families, 破坏我们家庭
[12:38] and take our loved ones to Cabo. 带走我们挚爱去卡波的黄鼠狼了
[12:40] I feel like you’re making this about you, but you’re right. 我感觉你在把事扯到自己身上 但你说得对
[12:43] Do you know when my high blood pressure started? 你知道我什么时候开始有高血压的吗
[12:45] When I met that guy. 从我遇到那个人开始
[12:46] Is this when someone’s supposed to say, “Get him!” 这时候是不是该有人说 “把他拿下”
[12:49] – No. – You hold him down. -不 -你把他按住
[12:49] I’m gonna beat him with this orthopedic shoe. 我来用这只矫形鞋打他
[12:51] – Come here! – Let’s not lock into our — our first idea. -来吧 -我们别想出第一个主意就行动啊
[12:55] I love you, Mr. Goat! 我爱你 山羊先生
[12:57] Aw, you see, Joe? 你看 乔
[12:58] You listen to Mommy, and now you have a new best friend. 听妈妈的话 现在你就有新朋友了
[13:02] What? 什么
[13:04] You’re cold? I’ll go get you a blanket! 你冷 我去给你拿条毯子
[13:07] Well, if he was going to get the pig a blanket, 如果他是去给猪拿毯子
[13:08] you know what that would be called. 你们知道应该怎么称呼吗
[13:10] Pig in a blanket? 猪包毯吗
[13:11] Okay, I teed that one up for you. 这哏我算喂到你嘴边了
[13:12] All right, it’s time to fry this turkey. 好了 该炸火鸡了
[13:14] Somebody please lower my splatter goggles, boys? 你俩谁能来帮我把防溅护目镜放下来
[13:16] You heard him. 叫你呢
[13:17] You do it. 你去
[13:18] You’re not the president of goggle lowering. 你又不是放眼镜主席 随便使唤人
[13:20] I would be if they took a vote. 如果有办投票我就能当
[13:23] What could Cam have done? 小卡能做错什么呢
[13:26] Maybe he’s the one who’s having an affair. 也许是他出轨了
[13:28] I saw a list of clues in a magazine. 我在杂志上看过出轨征兆
[13:30] Has he joined a gym or bought sexy new underwear recently? 他最近有没有加健身房会员或者买性感内衣
[13:33] I think it’s sweet that you think 很感谢看得起我们
[13:35] we’re capable of having an affair, but we’re just so tired. 觉得我们还有余力出轨 但我们真的很累
[13:39] All right now, boys, 好了各位
[13:40] the key is you drop it nice and gentle like. 一定要像这样轻轻地慢慢地放下去
[13:46] Mono! 接吻病
[13:49] Runaway goat! 脱缰之羊
[13:53] Aw, you wanted to run to the barn! 你是想躲去畜棚吧
[13:59] Let me put a positive spin on this. 我来反转一下这个悲伤的故事
[14:02] Who here likes goat? 谁喜欢吃羊肉
[14:08] Hello, you son of a bitch. 你这个畜生
[14:10] Hope you like that deodorant, ’cause you stink! 希望那个除臭剂好用 因为你就是个臭家伙
[14:12] Wart remover — 退疣灵
[14:13] well, if that works, there’ll be nothing left. 见效的话 你全身就要不见了
[14:15] Well, well, well. Norbert and Pritchett. 哎哟哟 诺伯特和普里契特
[14:17] Jay, I don’t think I ever got a chance 杰 一直没机会向你道谢
[14:19] to thank you for buying me my first Ferrari. 多谢你让我赚进了第一辆法拉利
[14:21] I wish you drove it off a cliff. 祝你开下悬崖
[14:22] Like the one my house is on, 我的豪宅就在悬崖上
[14:23] which you also paid for, thank you? 也是用你的钱买的 太感谢了
[14:26] This doesn’t sound like we’re getting him. 我们不是要把他拿下的吗
[14:28] Look, you want some free legal advice, fellas? 你们想要免费法律建议吗 伙计们
[14:30] Three words — Ladies. Leave. Losers. 送你们三个词 娘们 滚吧 废柴
[14:34] No, sir, we have three words for you. 不 先生 我们有三个字送你
[14:36] Have you no sh– have you — 你 有没 羞…
[14:38] have no — have you no shame — it can be four words. 没有… 没羞没躁 四个字
[14:41] Who’s this chuckle-head? 这傻蛋是谁
[14:42] Someone who you’re never gonna know, 你永远也不会认识的人
[14:44] ’cause I’m happily married most of the time. 因为我结婚以来大部分时间都很幸福
[14:47] Aw, that’s what they all say. 大家都这么说
[14:48] Then one day your wife wakes up and says, “Oh, my God! 然后有一天你老婆醒了之后说 “我的天
[14:51] I married a moron!” 我嫁了个傻逼”
[14:52] She calls me, and I’m like, 她给我打电话 我接起来说
[14:53] “Hello, Mrs. Chuckle–“ “你好 傻蛋夫人…”
[15:02] Yeah, that’s about right. 挺准的
[15:09] He might have had a heart attack. 他可能是心脏病发了
[15:10] We probably ought to do something. 我们好像该做点什么吧
[15:12] Oh, I saw some champagne back there. 我之前有看到那边有香槟
[15:14] It’s the guy on the ground! 他倒这儿了
[15:15] Oh! Take the defibrillator, I’ll call 911. 拿着除颤器 我去报警
[15:18] Guys, help me out. I don’t know what I’m doing. 两位帮帮我 我根本不会用这个
[15:19] I watch a lot of “Grey’s Anatomy,” 我看了好多《实习医生格蕾》
[15:21] but I fast-forward through the non-romantic scenes. 不过所有不浪漫的镜头我全快进了
[15:23] No no no, we’re not gonna save him! 不不不 不能救他
[15:24] Jerry, no, Jerry. 杰瑞 别这样 杰瑞
[15:26] Jay, get him off me! 杰 把他拉开
[15:27] Look at his basket. Wasn’t much of a life. 看看他的购物篮 活得也不是舒适
[15:34] Ah, hell, I’m gonna regret this. 天啊 我肯定会后悔的
[15:38] I’m feeling better, Pritchett. I think it was just gas. 我感觉好点了 普里契特 应该只是胀气
[15:40] Better safe than sorry. 以防万一
[15:44] Oh, I deserve some of the blame. 一部分错在我
[15:46] I made my farmscape too inviting. 我把农场风情画弄得太有吸引力了
[15:48] Okay. This is a mess. 好吧 简直一团糟
[15:50] What are we gonna do now? 我们要怎么办
[15:52] Alex, how many goats have to die 艾丽克斯 需要牺牲多少条羊命
[15:54] until you get a handle on your insatiable appetite 你才能停止对高中小鲜肉
[15:56] for high-school boys? 无休止的渴望
[15:57] Actually, I-it’s my fault. 其实 这是我的错
[15:59] Ooh, Dwight. We’re good-looking guys. 德怀特 我们长得好看的人
[16:01] We don’t apologize for it. 不为自己有吸引力而道歉
[16:03] I got you a blanket, Mr. Goat. 我把毯子拿来了 山羊先生
[16:04] No, no, no, no, no! 不不不不
[16:06] We’re going to wait for Santa Claus by the chimney! 我们去烟囱旁边等圣诞老人
[16:08] But it’s Thanksgiving. 但今天是感恩节啊
[16:11] What about Mr. Goat? 山羊先生怎么办
[16:12] How come I don’t hear him anymore? 为什么我听不到他的声音了
[16:14] Ay, Mr. Goat is fine! 山羊先生没事啦
[16:19] Did you hear that? 你听到了吗
[16:20] What is it, Mr. Goat? 你说什么 山羊先生
[16:23] He’s saying that he needs some time alone. 他说他想静静
[16:26] Look, there’s some cookies for Santa. 看 这些是给圣诞老人的饼干
[16:28] Here, why don’t you go and sit by the chimney and wait. 给你 去烟囱边坐着等好吗
[16:30] Santa! 圣诞老人
[16:33] Hey lookit, it’s not my place to try to parent your kids. 我不应该插嘴你孩子的教育
[16:36] – Good. – But one thing we learn on the farm -很好 -但是我们在农场上学到的就是
[16:39] is that death is a part of life. 死亡是生命的一部分
[16:42] If you tell Joe what happened to that goat, 你敢告诉乔那只山羊出事了
[16:44] death is gonna be part of your life. 死亡将会是你生命的一部分
[16:45] You know what, kids can handle a lot more than you think. 其实孩子的承受能力比你想象中要大得多
[16:48] And every step, from birth till the end, 而且从出生到死亡的每一步
[16:51] has its own magical beauty. 都有它自身的魅力
[16:53] So, do we jam the goat in the garbage 是要把山羊塞进垃圾桶里
[16:55] or heave it over the fence? 还是扔到围栏外
[16:57] Teach your children well. 好好教你的孩子吧
[16:59] Hey. Thanks for before. 谢谢你刚刚救了我
[17:01] You know, pushing me out of the way of the goat. 推了我一把 免得被山羊撞上
[17:03] Don’t worry about it. 不用谢啦
[17:04] It’s more about protecting the office. 为了保护领导人而已
[17:06] Look, I think we both know you should have been president. 我们都知道应该是你当主席的
[17:09] Maybe I’ve been hard on you ’cause I’m jealous. 或许我一直找你麻烦是因为我嫉妒你
[17:14] Yeah, okay. 好呀
[17:14] You two keep making out while I carry the dead goat. 我在搬这死羊 你俩却在这里谈情说爱
[17:26] Mr. Goat? 山羊先生
[17:30] Any suspicious activity on that phone bill? 电话账单上有什么可疑活动吗
[17:32] Well, Cam spent $100 on the psychic hotline… 小卡花了100刀打通灵热线
[17:35] …but that’s normal during the run-up to award’s season. 但是赛季越来越紧张时 这也是正常的
[17:38] I just saw we were running out of pumpkin dip, 我刚看到南瓜酱快吃完了
[17:40] and I know it’s your favorite, so I brought you some. 我知道你最喜欢这个 就给你拿了点过来
[17:42] What’s your game? 你到底在玩什么把戏
[17:42] – Yeah, show us your underwear. – What? -没错 亮出你内衣里的乾坤 -什么
[17:45] Why are we so understanding about Fizbo, huh? 菲茨宝的事情你为什么这么淡定
[17:47] What are you hiding? 你在隐瞒什么
[17:48] Hiding? 隐瞒
[17:49] Shame on you. 你太可耻了
[17:50] It’s Thanksgiving. 今天是感恩节
[17:52] I want to celebrate with my husband, 我想跟我的丈夫
[17:54] my daughter, my lovely family, Jerry. 我的女儿 我可爱的家人 杰瑞一起庆祝
[17:58] I think it’s sad that you two look at life 你们俩把生活看作是一场
[18:00] as some sort of game where everyone’s trying 每个人都试着摆脱某些事责任的游戏
[18:01] to get away with something. 真是太可悲了
[18:03] Some people are just nice. 有的人就是人很好而已
[18:07] They bought it. 他们信了
[18:08] Truth is, I paid for the jamboree 其实是我把我们之前
[18:09] with money we had saved for a romantic Hawaiian vacation. 为了去夏威夷度假省下的钱花在这场欢宴上
[18:14] I even sprung for fancy straw bales flown in from Missouri. 我甚至还从密苏里买了奢华草包寄过来
[18:19] That’s class. 这才叫档次
[18:24] The hell happened here? 这里出什么事了
[18:26] I think I felt enough for one day. 我这一天也是受够了
[18:30] It’s possible I’ve been electrocuted one too many times. 可能是我被电击太多的副作用
[18:33] You know, I learned something today. 我今天学到了一些东西
[18:35] I saw a man nearly die right in front of me. 我看到一个人在我面前差点死了
[18:38] And this is a constant reminder 而这玩意时刻在提醒我
[18:40] that it can happen to me at any moment. 我也随时可能有同样遭遇
[18:42] It’s a lot to think about. 很让人不禁思考
[18:45] So I’m not gonna. 所以老子不戴了
[18:48] Phil, get me a beer. 菲尔 给我拿瓶啤酒
[18:49] Jerry, get me a scotch. 杰瑞 给我来杯威士忌
[18:51] I learned something today, too. 我今天也有点心得
[18:53] It’s a lot right now, Jerry. 现在不是时候 杰瑞
[19:01] What’s the matter, kid? 出什么事了 儿子
[19:03] I loved Mr. Goat. 我爱山羊先生
[19:05] He died. 它死了
[19:07] Please don’t smoke. 求你别抽了
[19:10] Hey, don’t you worry about a thing, Joey. 你完全不需要担心 乔
[19:14] I’m not going anywhere. 我会一直在
[19:23] Dad, I don’t care what you say. I’m going to Cabo. 爸 不管你说什么 卡波我去定了
[19:25] You sure are. 行 去吧
[19:26] Sure, I’m gonna get kidnapped by Aztecs 对对对 我会被阿兹特克人绑架
[19:28] and sacrificed in a volcano. I get it. 然后扔进火山里献祭 行了
[19:30] No, honey, I want you to go. 不 宝贝 我想要你去
[19:31] I-I’m sorry about earlier. 抱歉我之前那样子
[19:34] I was mad. And instead of talking about it, 我很生气 但没有直接说
[19:36] I pushed it down and it came out in some ugly ways 死憋在心里 结果爆发反而更难看
[19:39] with my beautiful daughter and a lawyer who has warts. 伤到我美丽的女儿和那个长疣的律师
[19:44] Anyway, it’s just more and more of your life 总之 只是因为你的生活
[19:46] is happening away from me, and it’s normal and good, 越来越与我无关 这很正常 也是好事
[19:49] but it’s hard. 但我难以接受
[19:50] Damn it, why do you have to be so sweet? 靠 你这么贴心干嘛
[19:52] Now I feel guilty. 现在我感觉内疚了
[19:53] Don’t. Go to Cabo. Have fun. 别内疚 去卡波好好玩
[19:56] You know, I could play football today. 我可以今天玩橄榄球
[19:58] Run that Haley Mary? 来一次海利式超远长传战术
[19:59] That would be so wonderful… 那就太好了
[20:03] – Electrocuted again? – Real bad. -又被电了吗 -很严重
[20:07] Okay, break! Let’s go! 散开 上吧
[20:08] All right, everybody. 好了 大家
[20:10] Welcome to the 15th annual Thanksgiving football game, 欢迎来到第15届感恩节橄榄球年度比赛
[20:13] being played a day early. 这次提前一天举行
[20:15] I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention 我必须提一句
[20:16] how beautiful it is that we’re all together. 我们能齐聚一堂真是太棒了
[20:19] Is it just me, or can you feel the love… 是我的错觉吗 还是你们也能感受到爱…
[20:22] – Can we please do this? – All right. -能快点开始吗 -好吧
[20:24] Down! 准备进攻
[20:26] Set. 就位
[20:27] – Phil, we’re good, right? – Oh, we’re great. -菲尔 我们还好吧 -很好
[20:28] You should really take Claire to this resort. 你真该带克莱尔去一次这个度假村
[20:30] Very romantic. 超浪漫
[20:31] Blue, 39! 蓝色39号战术
[20:32] Heart-shaped jacuzzi in every room. 每个房间都有心形浴缸
[20:34] Kansas City, Kansas City… 堪萨斯城 堪萨斯城
[20:39] Actually, now I’m great. 其实 我现在才算很好
[20:41] Oh, my God, Dad. Seriously? 天哪 老爸 要这样吗
[20:46] Ah, what a beautiful day. 真是美好的一天
[20:52] Oh, I am exhausted. 我累坏了
[20:54] I’m counting down the days till we’re in Hawaii. 我已经在为夏威夷之旅倒数了
[20:56] Sweetie, I don’t know if you can count that high. 亲爱的 我估计你得数好久好久了
[20:58] You remember how cool I was with the whole Fizbo thing? 还记得我对菲茨宝这事多淡定吗
[21:00] Cam, you spent the Hawaii money on this party, didn’t you? 小卡 你把夏威夷经费花这派对上了吧
[21:03] What is wrong with us? 我们这是怎么了
[21:05] From now on, can we just be honest with each other, all right? 从现在起 我们要互相坦诚 好吗
[21:07] – No more games. – Deal. -不耍心计 -成交
[21:09] Hey, daddies. You look tired. 爸爸们 你们看着很累
[21:11] I made you some grilled cheese sandwiches. 我给你们做了烤芝士三明治
[21:13] Love you. 爱你们
[21:14] – Well, there’s something we did right. – Yeah. -我们还是有做得好的地方 -是啊
[21:17] I needed them in a good mood. 我得保持他们心情好
[21:19] I kept this from the petting zoo. 我留下了爱畜乐园的鸡
摩登家庭

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